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relaxs2
  • 2 days ago
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00:00:00I don't know.
00:00:30Segala persamaan, hanyalah secara kebetulan sahaja.
00:00:38Tak percaya? Lantak kumulah.
00:00:44Zim, zim. Alakazim.
00:01:00Zim, zim. Alakazim.
00:01:29Zim, zim. Alakazim.
00:02:00Apa?
00:02:01Huh?
00:02:04Konglah. Ada tong. Tongkek.
00:02:09Banyak kau nak betulkan orang. Kau pun salah. Tongkek apa?
00:02:13Seorang Tongkek, seorang Kong.
00:02:15Aminlah aku nak cakap kau tak keluar pula cerita ni.
00:02:18Itu nama dia, Tongkek.
00:02:21What's up, guys? Hi!
00:02:23Hey, Dalai.
00:02:24Ah, cantik-cantik. Ramai orang tengok ni.
00:02:26Adalah dalam lima orang.
00:02:27Hi!
00:02:28Okay, jangan lupa like and share.
00:02:31Masang, masang.
00:02:32Follow up, then, guys.
00:02:36Oi, wasang too good.
00:02:43Eh, Maccha.
00:02:44Yes, that's all.
00:02:45No, no, no, no, no.
00:02:47No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:02:51Patia!
00:02:53Hey!
00:02:54Engkau ni apa semua Cicat-Cicat-Cicat-Cicat-Cicat...
00:02:57Semua boleh percayakah?
00:02:58Cicat cakap semua boleh percaya.
00:02:59Cicat pun macam orang juga.
00:03:00Bukan semua orang boleh percaya.
00:03:01Nak-nak orang macam kau.
00:03:03Hey, I'm going to go to my house.
00:03:10What's up?
00:03:12What's up?
00:03:14What's up?
00:03:15What's up?
00:03:16What's up?
00:03:17What's up?
00:03:18What's up?
00:03:25Come on!
00:03:28Let me go!
00:03:51Okay guys, guys.
00:03:53Guys, nampak tak tadi guys?
00:03:55Ha?
00:03:58Itu tadi Han?
00:04:00Bukan Han Zizek!
00:04:03Han Zizek nak buat apa?
00:04:05Han itu guys!
00:04:11Apa pula yang jelis-jelis ni guys?
00:04:17Macam jelilah.
00:04:19Apa benda ni?
00:04:20Yang melindir-lindir ni?
00:04:25Dia bermancet-mancet lagi lah.
00:04:27Apa ni eh?
00:04:30Macam ingat punya.
00:04:35Alamak!
00:04:38Hidup, nak makan jagung pun susah.
00:04:43Dah mati, nak makan jagung pun susah.
00:04:47Apa pun tak boleh.
00:04:48Eh, dia ni nenek apa ni?
00:04:51Bismillahirrohmanirrohim.
00:04:55Kul...
00:04:56Kul...
00:05:00Kul...
00:05:01Apa kul kul?
00:05:02Kul kul!
00:05:03Ha?
00:05:04Ni!
00:05:05Kulah!
00:05:07Kulah!
00:05:08Kulah!
00:05:09Nak cari hantu sangat kan?
00:05:11Tak!
00:05:24Kul!
00:05:25Guys!
00:05:26Guys!
00:05:27Guys!
00:05:28Where are you guys?
00:05:29Guys, where are you?
00:05:30Luka!
00:05:31Amoy!
00:05:32Abal!
00:05:34Oh my god.
00:05:35Oh my god!
00:05:37Oh my god!
00:05:38What the f-
00:05:43Is that ice burning?
00:05:45Oh my God.
00:05:48What do you think?
00:05:51I'm not going to die.
00:05:54I'm not going to die.
00:05:56I'm not going to die.
00:05:59I'm not going to die.
00:06:01Oh, yeah.
00:06:02That's a good one.
00:06:14Okay.
00:06:17Thank you, huh?
00:06:21Wow!
00:06:22Let's go to Pavali!
00:06:25Ah!
00:06:30Cari lagi hantu.
00:06:32Orang dah pesan jangan duduk cari.
00:06:33Kadang kena sumpah dengan Nenek Jin.
00:06:35Seorang dah tercekik jagung.
00:06:37Seorang lagi jalan ngundur pula.
00:06:39Yang seorang dah jalan mendung,
00:06:41kena tarik hidungnya.
00:06:43Yang seorang dah pula,
00:06:44dah kena gigit anunya.
00:06:46Ish, ish, ish.
00:06:49Kesian.
00:06:55Ben
00:07:11Ben
00:07:13Isa!
00:07:14What is happening?
00:07:33What is happening?
00:07:36What is happening?
00:07:38What is happening?
00:07:45Who is that?
00:07:47Oh, my God.
00:07:50Who is this?
00:07:57Oh, my God.
00:08:01What is happening, Ustaz Al-Kazim?
00:08:19What is happening?
00:08:21Oh, my God!
00:08:23It's amazing.
00:08:25It's funny.
00:08:26It's a real hobby.
00:08:28What is happening?
00:08:31That's the same thing.
00:08:33It's a real hobby.
00:08:35It's a real hobby.
00:08:38It's a real hobby.
00:08:40Kazim, Kazim, if you have a mess, there is a joke.
00:08:47Oh my God.
00:08:49That's what Ramli said.
00:08:51Na na na na, lekas pulang.
00:08:55Acik takut tinggal seorang.
00:08:58If you sing to me every day,
00:09:02every night you want to sleep,
00:09:05I'll have a happy life for you, Kazim.
00:09:08Hey!
00:09:09Darah, darah, darah!
00:09:10Awak potong jari sini!
00:09:12Hatah gila kah?
00:09:13Darah!
00:09:14Aaaaaaah!
00:09:16Aaaaaaah!
00:09:17Aaaaaaah!
00:09:19Aaaaaaah!
00:09:20Hei!
00:09:21Apa yang gelang kabur itu?
00:09:22Itu dibawa itu.
00:09:23Memang kita tengok.
00:09:25Aaaaaaah!
00:09:27Apa?
00:09:28Apa?
00:09:29Apa?
00:09:30Apa?
00:09:31Apa?
00:09:32Apa?
00:09:33Astagfirullahalazim!
00:09:36Apa yang kecoh-kecoh ini?
00:09:39Oda!
00:09:40Apa yang tangan jari kamu itu?
00:09:42Nak kau ke hospital ke?
00:09:43Saya boleh panggil ke ambulans ke?
00:09:45Tak apa, Ayah Ustaz.
00:09:47Sikit saja.
00:09:48Kalau Ustaz hembuskan,
00:09:51penawarnya adalah Ustaz.
00:09:53Mesti baiknya Ustaz.
00:09:55Hai, Oda!
00:09:57Kamu lain berbenar bunyinya.
00:09:59Kamu tuduhlah menjanda-deh-deh-deh.
00:10:03Tiga kali menjandanya.
00:10:05Haa?
00:10:06Darah apa itu kat kaya opah?
00:10:08Eh, darah tangan ni lah.
00:10:11Kamu mana mana tahu?
00:10:12Apa?
00:10:13Eh, Oda!
00:10:15Masih ada period lagikah?
00:10:17Eh, saya masih bergetah lagi lah.
00:10:20Bergetah?
00:10:21Masih ada period lah lagi.
00:10:23Haa?
00:10:24Period?
00:10:26Gash-gash war-gash yan-yan war-mayan.
00:10:52Didi war-ifran.
00:10:55Ambil saya.
00:11:14Itu Cicat yang cakap tahu.
00:11:15Bukan saya.
00:11:21Eh, besarnya Cicat itu okey.
00:11:25Mawin.
00:11:26Cibari.
00:11:27Boleh.
00:11:28Tidak.
00:11:29Tidak.
00:11:30Tidak.
00:11:31Tidak.
00:11:32Tidak.
00:11:33Tidak.
00:11:34Tidak.
00:11:35Tidak.
00:11:36Tidak.
00:11:37Tidak.
00:11:38Tidak.
00:11:39Tidak.
00:11:40Tidak.
00:11:41Tidak.
00:11:42Tidak.
00:11:43Tidak.
00:11:45Tidak.
00:11:46Tidak.
00:11:47Tidak.
00:11:48Tidak.
00:11:49Tidak.
00:11:50Tidak.
00:11:51Tidak.
00:11:52Tidak.
00:11:53Tidak.
00:11:54Tidak.
00:11:55Tidak.
00:11:56Tidak.
00:11:57Tidak.
00:11:58Tidak.
00:11:59Tidak.
00:12:00Tidak.
00:12:01Tidak.
00:12:02Tidak.
00:12:03Tidak.
00:12:04Tidak.
00:12:05Tidak.
00:12:06Tidak.
00:12:07Tidak.
00:12:08Tidak.
00:12:09Yeah, susun-susun.
00:12:10This is one of them.
00:12:12Jadual Atikamah.
00:12:13Oh!
00:12:14Oh!
00:12:15Oh!
00:12:16Oh!
00:12:17Oh!
00:12:18Oh!
00:12:19Oh!
00:12:20Oh!
00:12:21Oh!
00:12:22Oh!
00:12:23Oh!
00:12:24Oh!
00:12:26Oh!
00:12:27Oh!
00:12:28Oh!
00:12:29Oh!
00:12:30Oh!
00:12:31Oh!
00:12:32Oh!
00:12:33Oh!
00:12:34Oh!
00:12:35Oh!
00:12:36Oh!
00:12:37Oh!
00:12:38Oh!
00:12:39Masyuk!
00:12:41Masyuk kerja Mahir tu.
00:12:43Takpe lah, YB.
00:12:44Muharram.
00:12:45Saya nak ke kedai lah.
00:12:46Rumah pesan lambat akan tutup kedai, marah pula orang tua tu.
00:12:49Macam-macam orang rumah tu.
00:12:51Takpe, YB. Apapun.
00:12:52Saya ucap terima kasih lah.
00:12:53Jadual ni sesuai elok, benar daripada saya ni.
00:12:55Mudah-mudahan kita boleh lah buat kerja ni.
00:12:57Okey, Muharram. Pasu pergi dulu.
00:12:58Baik, pasu.
00:13:06Assalamualaikum.
00:13:09Ya, Syekh.
00:13:10Lama ni tak jumpa, Syekh.
00:13:12Ni apa hak jalan kaki ni, Syekh?
00:13:14Sekuang-kuangnya, setiap langkah kaki Ana, tapak kaki Ana ada pahala.
00:13:22Ni, Ustaz, bawa basikal.
00:13:24Nak kira macam mana ni?
00:13:25Eh, jangan macam tu, Syekh.
00:13:27Jalan kaki pun ada pahala dia.
00:13:29Niap basikal ni pun ada pahala, Syekh.
00:13:31Haa, macam ni lah, Syekh.
00:13:34Saya rasa dah dua, tiga tahun Syekh tak datang surau kita.
00:13:38Moh lah kita jemaah.
00:13:40Surau Kazim Al-Baqarah.
00:13:42Al-Baqarah tu lemu betina, Syekh.
00:13:45Al-Barakah.
00:13:47Dulu Ana tak ada ilmu, tak apalah.
00:13:50Sekarang ni Ana dah ada ilmu.
00:13:52Ana tahu beza dia.
00:13:53Ya, ya, ya.
00:13:54Setakat surau tu, bukan martabat Ana nak pergi solat dekat sana.
00:13:58Eish, eish.
00:13:59Surau tu kecik.
00:14:00Pahalanya pun sikit.
00:14:01Hmm?
00:14:02Sekarang, Ana solat martabat Ana di Masjid Sri Petalas.
00:14:07Hmm?
00:14:08Sana masjid besar.
00:14:09Pahalanya pun berlipat-lipat kali ganda.
00:14:12Syekh.
00:14:13Pahala ada di mana-mana, Syekh.
00:14:14Di surau kita pun ada.
00:14:16Di Masjid Sri Petalas tu pun ada.
00:14:18Hei!
00:14:19Sudahlah!
00:14:20Jangan sampai anak.
00:14:22Tak ada adab!
00:14:23Anak kalau dah.
00:14:25Eh, Syekh, Syekh, Syekh.
00:14:26Masjid Sri Petalas tak pernah hajar macam ni, Syekh.
00:14:29Sabar, Syekh.
00:14:30Sabar, sabar.
00:14:31Jaga-jaga, Ustaz.
00:14:34Puih!
00:14:36Zaw Jahanah pasal Kazim lah dia tak dengar cakap mana.
00:14:40Pasal Kazim lah dia suka melawan cakap mana.
00:14:43Kita menari bukan sebarang tarian.
00:15:01Asalnya dari tanah orang-orang pilihan
00:15:06Bila terdengar maslawi cintaan maulan
00:15:11Kumpul nunapsu lembur rantainya dari badan
00:15:16Hingga hilang bangga diri
00:15:19Berani hidup, berani mati
00:15:21Bagaimu safir bertemu janji
00:15:23Ini dari sudah gila berakhir
00:15:26Kita tak rindu pada siasa dunia
00:15:35Berangkapnya membuat manusia hampa
00:15:40Untuk bertemu impian bukan percuma
00:15:45Mengorbankan yang tersangat
00:15:48Kita cinta
00:15:50Bagai Yunus dimakan paus
00:15:52Ibrahim tak makan api
00:15:55Bertemu kekasih di malam kudus
00:15:57Ruka di badan tak surasa lagi
00:16:00Pukullah rebana jantungku
00:16:05Bersyairlah maulana
00:16:08Ya aku mampu hakiki mendengar suaramu
00:16:13Sayang pada mereka yang zaman
00:16:25Sayang pada mereka yang tak mengeruti
00:16:31Sayang pada mereka yang tak mengeruti
00:16:47Sayang pada hati tertutup mati
00:16:58Bagai sangkar tanpa penghuni
00:17:03Burung berharga terlepas lari
00:17:08Rindu kembali bertemu
00:17:15Hatiku merindukan pemiliknya
00:17:21Rindu kembali bersatu
00:17:25Kembali bersatu dengan yang dikasihi
00:17:31Rindu kembali bersatu
00:17:39Rindu kembali bersatu
00:17:45Hatiku merindukan pemiliknya
00:17:52Rindu kembali bersatu
00:17:56Kembali bersatu dengan yang dikasihi
00:18:02Banyak show sekarang ustaz
00:18:24Show apa bendanya
00:18:25Kita bukannya artis
00:18:27Cerama
00:18:28Cerama
00:18:30Udah pandai berbenuh ke ustaz
00:18:50Orangnya bagi nasihat-nasihatnya ustaz
00:18:54Selanjutnya
00:18:56Orangnya dah handal
00:18:58Janganlah tengok-tengok
00:19:12Tak seperais lah nanti
00:19:15Ustaz
00:19:17Astagfirullahalazim
00:19:22Astagfirullahalazim
00:19:23Apa ni
00:19:23Jual baki tadi ustaz lupa
00:19:25Oh dia baki
00:19:25Allahuakbar
00:19:26Ustaz cakap dengan siapa tadi
00:19:27Tak ada basikal ni
00:19:30Basikal bercakap
00:19:31Lain macam pula dia
00:19:32Terima kasih
00:19:33Ustaz cakap
00:20:03Tiba-tiba hujan
00:20:05Bang
00:20:08Basah baju apa ni
00:20:10Abang buat apa tu
00:20:11Tak nampak ke hujan ni
00:20:12Tiba-tiba hujan ni
00:20:14Basah baju ni
00:20:15Mana ada hujan bang
00:20:18Cuaca elok je tu
00:20:19Tak ada hujan langsung pun
00:20:21Haa
00:20:21Elok
00:20:22Ia elok
00:20:25Panas berdenting tu
00:20:27Mana datang hujannya
00:20:29Abang gurau je lah
00:20:33Tak ada apa-apa lah
00:20:34Buatkanlah kopi
00:20:35Abang nak balik ni
00:20:36Dah haga pula
00:20:38Rasanya
00:20:39Panas buat lawak
00:20:41Abang ni
00:20:41Biasalah
00:20:42Saya buat kopi
00:20:44Buatkanlah kopi
00:20:45Alakazim
00:20:45Zim
00:20:46Zim
00:20:47Allah
00:20:49Akbar
00:20:50Allah
00:20:51Siaput
00:20:56Jangan lho
00:21:00Tengok-tengok
00:21:02Tak seperais
00:21:03Lelanti
00:21:05Apa yang pelik benar hari ni
00:21:19Lain macam ni
00:21:22Ba
00:21:24Nah kopi
00:21:25Alhamdulillah
00:21:26Terima kasih ma
00:21:27Tak ada ma susah lah
00:21:30Abang ma
00:21:30Ya Allah
00:21:32Alhamdulillah
00:21:33Terima kasih lah ma
00:21:34Haa
00:21:39Pari ya
00:21:40Haa
00:21:42Iyakah
00:21:43Ya Allah
00:21:44Cuti lah
00:21:46Abang
00:22:04Apa hal melangit di sini
00:22:17Haa
00:22:19Kazim
00:22:21Aku ni
00:22:24Rasa sedih sangat
00:22:27Kenapa
00:22:32Kenapa sedih sangat
00:22:34Kenapa orang tua
00:22:42Tak boleh masuk syurga
00:22:46Jawab
00:22:49Aku tanya ni
00:22:51Engkau ke Lutai
00:22:53Kenapa kau tak boleh jawab
00:22:54Jawab
00:22:57Astagfirullahalazim
00:23:09Astagfirullahalazim
00:23:11Ya Allah
00:23:12Apa lah mimpi aku ni
00:23:17Haa
00:23:22Ya Allah
00:23:23Ya Allah
00:23:23Kamu ni
00:23:23Muharram
00:23:24Astagfirullahalazim
00:23:25Bila ni kamu sampai
00:23:27Terconguk di situ
00:23:28Muharram
00:23:28Ya Allah
00:23:29Baru je sampai
00:23:32Pak Su
00:23:32Ya Allah
00:23:35Sedih berwenang
00:23:37Pak Su ni
00:23:38Haa
00:23:39Eh
00:23:39Muharram
00:23:40Bila sampai
00:23:42Baru je sampai
00:23:44Mak Su
00:23:44Terkejut Mak Su
00:23:46Pak Su ni
00:23:48Sedih berbenarnya
00:23:49Kenapa
00:23:50Mak Su tahulah
00:23:52Kenapa dia sedih
00:23:53Benar tu
00:23:54Period
00:23:55Haa
00:23:56Period
00:23:58Dah
00:24:00Dah dah dah dah
00:24:01Nak masuk maghrib
00:24:02Mos mayang
00:24:04Ayam period
00:24:06Duduk diam diam
00:24:07Ok
00:24:08Jangan langgan pantang
00:24:25Nanti makan diri
00:24:28Pantang kalau dah ambil
00:24:31Tapi tak bayar
00:24:32Ini pula
00:24:37Pantang kalau tak bayar
00:24:38Hehehe
00:24:39Oh
00:24:40Jumat
00:24:41Allah
00:24:44Wahbar
00:24:46Wahbar
00:24:51Ashhadu
00:24:55Wa la ilaha
00:24:58Illallah
00:25:00Ashhadu
00:25:04Anna
00:25:05Muhammad
00:25:07Rasulullah
00:25:10Dia datang dah
00:25:16Jangan takut
00:25:18Teruskan
00:25:19Iqamat Muharram
00:25:20Pak Su dah biasa dah
00:25:22Dengan benda-benda ni
00:25:23Teruskan
00:25:24Muharram
00:25:26Muharram
00:25:30Oi
00:25:33Apa yang manjak-manjak ni
00:25:36Mah
00:25:36Ya Allah
00:25:38Boleh kau
00:25:39Tak payahlah nak seram sangat
00:25:42Bang
00:25:43Muharram tu pergi ke tandas kot
00:25:46Tekan tut
00:25:47Bila masa dia tu cunggok dekat situ dah
00:25:57Astagfirullahal'
00:26:00Azim
00:26:01Muharram
00:26:01Astagfirullahal'
00:26:03Azim
00:26:03Tuan-tuan boleh baca
00:26:07Auzubillah
00:26:08Azim
00:26:08Tuan-tuan boleh baca
00:26:10Auzubillah
00:26:11Ibn Assyaitan
00:26:12Rajim
00:26:12Boleh juga
00:26:13Tuan-tuan boleh baca
00:26:14Bismillah
00:26:15Wasaddiq
00:26:17Rasulak
00:26:18Abang
00:26:20Abang
00:26:21Abang
00:26:22Ya Allah
00:26:23Minyak atas abang ni
00:26:25Kuatnya bau dia
00:26:27Bang
00:26:27Wangi-wangian ni
00:26:29Nabi suka
00:26:30Tahu
00:26:31Awak tu
00:26:34Tak habis-habis
00:26:36Kajim
00:26:36Kajim
00:26:37Kajim
00:26:38Takat nak dengar
00:26:38Kupasan agama
00:26:39Saya pun boleh
00:26:41Beritahu
00:26:42Yang abang sakit hati
00:26:44Sangat dengan
00:26:44Ustaz Kazim ni
00:26:45Kenapa
00:26:45Awak tu
00:26:46Bila dengar je
00:26:47Cekamah dia
00:26:48Bergelak ketawa
00:26:49Bergelak ketawa
00:26:49Itu gelapkan hati
00:26:52Kalau setakat nak
00:26:53Gelak-gelak ketawa
00:26:54Tu
00:26:54Man Raja Lawak tu
00:26:55Dia lagi kelakar
00:26:57Baik panggil dia je
00:26:58Bagi bayan hidayat
00:26:59Habis tu
00:27:00Yang abang keluar
00:27:01Tiga hari sana
00:27:02Tujuh hari sini
00:27:0344 hari sana
00:27:04Apa yang abang dapat
00:27:05Saya keluar tu
00:27:07Saya berkorban
00:27:08Nak bagi syurga
00:27:09Untuk awak
00:27:10Saya keluar tu
00:27:12Saya hidupkan sunnah
00:27:14Faham
00:27:14Habis Ustaz Kazim ni
00:27:16Tak menghidupkan sunnah
00:27:17Awak tu
00:27:17Cuma faham
00:27:18Satu jenis
00:27:19Fahaman agama je
00:27:21Faham
00:27:22Awak dengar bayan ni
00:27:23Neraka tak pernah
00:27:26Jemput kita
00:27:27Tapi awak tu
00:27:29Yang beraya-aya
00:27:31Sangat nak pergi
00:27:32Kenapa saya pula
00:27:33Dahakah
00:27:34Pergi je lah
00:27:36Siapkan baju
00:27:37Hei
00:27:40Inilah kalau tak faham
00:27:42Nafi dan Isbat
00:27:44Cakap apa pun
00:27:48Susah
00:27:48Cakap itu tak kena
00:27:52Cakap ini tak kena
00:27:53Semuanya tak kena
00:27:54Hai
00:27:59Eh ini pun kena
00:28:02Assalamualaikum
00:28:09Hmm
00:28:11Oleh tu salam
00:28:13Ni mesti
00:28:14Baru balik
00:28:15Daripada kelas
00:28:16Ustaz Kazim tu kan
00:28:17Hmm
00:28:20Ya
00:28:21Gigi mana
00:28:22Dah wumpung dah tu
00:28:24Pergilah bikin
00:28:24Ada hati
00:28:27Nak try
00:28:27Tak sedang digi
00:28:28Napsu napsu napsu napsu napsu napsu napsu
00:28:41Night
00:28:46Let's go.
00:29:16Don't leave me, oh Adi, oh Julita
00:29:31Because I'm still hating on you
00:29:38Yang manis jelita
00:29:42Hanya ni kau seorang
00:29:46Oh bintang, oh pujaan
00:29:52Tempat kasih sayang
00:29:57Harapan di masa depan
00:30:02Andai Dinda pergi
00:30:07Daku teman tiada
00:30:12Merah tak sunyi
00:30:17Hampa merana
00:30:21Oh, oh, jangan tinggal Daku
00:30:27Oh Dewi, oh manisku
00:30:33Anda rindu selalu
00:30:38Senyuman yang manis berman
00:30:45Oh, special malam ni ma
00:30:48Alhamdulillah
00:30:51Air basuh tangan
00:30:56Perlu tangan, ma
00:30:58Asli
00:31:01Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
00:31:03Alhamdulillah
00:31:13Astaghfirullahalazim
00:31:14Makan, ma
00:31:16Eh, ma
00:31:17Apa ni, ma
00:31:18Katak ni, ma
00:31:19Astaghfirullahalazim
00:31:21Eh, katak ni, mari
00:31:22Mana pula katak ni
00:31:23Dalam kaya ma
00:31:24Dia masuk ni
00:31:25Ya Allah
00:31:26Dalam kaya aku pula
00:31:27Ya Allah
00:31:28Di bawah ni pun ada lagi
00:31:29Di atas pun ada
00:31:30Di bawah ni pun ada
00:31:31Bacalah apa-apa
00:31:33Kita takut ni
00:31:34Cuba tibuk kaki muharam ni, ma
00:31:36Ha
00:31:38Allah
00:31:40Ya betul ni, ma
00:31:41Kita sahaja ni nampak ke
00:31:44Kau betul-betul cerita ni
00:31:47Kejap
00:31:56Astaghfirullahalazim
00:31:58Ma
00:31:59Ya, ma
00:32:00Dia makan katak, ma
00:32:01Ya, ma
00:32:02Ya, ma
00:32:03Dia makan katak, ma
00:32:04Ha
00:32:05Ha
00:32:06Ha
00:32:07Ha
00:32:08Ma
00:32:09Sedap ben-benu, ya
00:32:10Rok ni
00:32:11Ha
00:32:12Ada
00:32:13Apa yang mahu tak
00:32:15Maksudlah yang mahu
00:32:17Ha
00:32:18Auz bi kalimatillah hitamah
00:32:20Min kulli syaitanin wa amah
00:32:22Wa min kulli ayni lam
00:32:24Ma
00:32:25Ma
00:32:26Ma
00:32:27Ha
00:32:29Ha
00:32:30Hey
00:32:31Netizen
00:32:32Because of a ghost
00:32:34You want us to search for a ghost
00:32:37So tonight
00:32:38We are here
00:32:40To get you a ghost
00:32:42We are here
00:32:43A
00:32:44Ha
00:32:45Yeah
00:32:46Ha
00:32:47Ha
00:32:48We are here
00:32:49Yes
00:32:50We are here
00:32:51Hmm
00:32:52Hmm
00:32:53Hmm
00:32:54Hmm
00:32:55Hmm
00:32:56Hmm
00:32:57Hmm
00:32:58So, Loga
00:32:59Let's do this!
00:33:01Okay, come on.
00:33:02You all follow me.
00:33:04Okay. Carry on.
00:33:06I'll tell you what I'm saying.
00:33:09Let's go.
00:33:11Come on.
00:33:12My name is a child.
00:33:15I'm a child.
00:33:18I'm a child.
00:33:20I'm a child.
00:33:24I'm a child.
00:33:28I'm a child.
00:33:32I'm a child.
00:33:49Look! Look!
00:33:50What is happening?
00:33:51What is happening?
00:33:53What is happening?
00:33:55Oh my God!
00:33:57Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!
00:33:59Please don't install us!
00:34:01Please don't install us!
00:34:03No, no, no, no!
00:34:05No, no, no!
00:34:07Oh my god!
00:34:09Oh my god!
00:34:11Oh my god!
00:34:13Please!
00:34:15Stop pulling my nose up!
00:34:17Stop pulling my nose up!
00:34:19Oh my god!
00:34:21Oh my god!
00:34:23Oh my god!
00:34:25Oh my god!
00:34:27Oh my god!
00:34:29Lepas ni...
00:34:31Jangan cari hantu!
00:34:33Sekarang aku maafkan kamu semua!
00:34:37Aku tarik sumpahan aku!
00:34:39Ambil angin dari neraka!
00:34:47Ambil cirit sekali!
00:34:49Sehingga dia ada di rumah?
00:34:51Ah!
00:34:53Eh!
00:34:54Mana perempuan saya?
00:34:56Ah!
00:34:57Ah!
00:34:58Ah!
00:34:59Ah!
00:35:00Ah!
00:35:01Ah!
00:35:02Ah!
00:35:03Ah!
00:35:04Ah!
00:35:05Ah!
00:35:06Ah!
00:35:07Ah!
00:35:08Ah!
00:35:09Ah!
00:35:10Ah!
00:35:11Ah!
00:35:13Ah!
00:35:14Ah!
00:35:15Ah!
00:35:16Ah!
00:35:17Ah!
00:35:18My nose?
00:35:23But this guy, this guy, now what is wrong with this guy?
00:35:41Second time, same guy.
00:35:48Farah, you know what that was?
00:35:52You can't do it, you can't do it.
00:35:55You can't do it, you can't do it.
00:35:57You can't do it, you can't do it.
00:36:01You can't do it.
00:36:04You can't do it, you can't do it.
00:36:06What do you want to ask?
00:36:08What do you want to do?
00:36:10If you want to come here, there are two reasons.
00:36:13The first is money, the second is money.
00:36:15The second is money.
00:36:16What is your problem?
00:36:17The second is money.
00:36:20The second is money.
00:36:22The second is money.
00:36:24When I come here, I want to help you.
00:36:27Please watch.
00:36:29Not that you want to help.
00:36:31You know, you know, you know that you are a little bit.
00:36:34You have to do it again.
00:36:36You have to do it again.
00:36:37You have to do it again.
00:36:39You have to do it again.
00:36:40You have to do it again.
00:36:42Orang baik macam paksu ni boleh kena santau.
00:36:45Tak logik, tak logik.
00:36:47Apa kamu nak herankan?
00:36:51Nabi Muhammad pun kena sihir tau.
00:36:54Nabi Musa tu ha?
00:36:55Berlawan dengan alih sihir.
00:36:57Eh eh.
00:36:59Ada dalil.
00:37:00Dalil bendanya.
00:37:03Kamu yang malas buka Quran, malas baca Quran.
00:37:06Cepuka Quran tu.
00:37:07Jumpalah dalilnya.
00:37:10Cerita Nabi Musa tu dalam surah Yunus.
00:37:14Ayat 80 sampai 82.
00:37:18Kamu tu orang mengaji, Maharamboy.
00:37:21Takkan kamu tak tahu cerita-cerita macam ni.
00:37:23Sihir-sihir ni.
00:37:25Saja nak tes?
00:37:26Sebenarnya macam ni, Maharamboy.
00:37:28Pak Su pun bukan nak cerita sangat.
00:37:31Cerita Pak Su kena santau lah.
00:37:35Takut orang kata kita ni marketing.
00:37:37Lantok lah netizen ni, Pak Su.
00:37:40Pak Su cerita je lah.
00:37:43Boleh cerita.
00:37:44Sebagai penerimaan kita je.
00:37:46Ha, cerita-cerita.
00:37:46Asyhadu anna ilaha illallah.
00:37:50Wa asyhadu anna Muhammadur Rasulullah.
00:37:53Kalau semayang, buat yang rukun-rukun sahaja.
00:37:58Budak-budak pun boleh buat.
00:38:00Ha, ha, ha.
00:38:04Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi.
00:38:07Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
00:38:14Wa alaikumussalam lah.
00:38:18Ilmu tanpa amal.
00:38:21Gila.
00:38:23Amal tanpa ilmu bodoh.
00:38:26Kata Imam Razali.
00:38:28Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:38:34Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
00:38:38Hasbuna Allah wa ni'mal wakil.
00:38:41La hawla wa la quwata.
00:38:43Ya kata'il aliyil azim.
00:38:47La ilaha illallah.
00:38:49Allahu Akbar.
00:38:50Luar donjit kafir.
00:38:52Allahu Akbar.
00:38:53D ок Off
00:39:17Ecom
00:39:19Ecom
00:39:21I don't know what the hell is going to happen to you.
00:39:51Oh
00:40:21Oh
00:40:28Eh
00:40:29Apa yang kamu buat di belakang tu muharam boy
00:40:39Takut bendanya
00:40:41Kerikanan kita ni malaikat Kanada
00:40:44Guys
00:40:45Ha
00:40:46Come and look at this pictures
00:40:47Si kuai lah ke ustaz
00:40:48Both Al-Fadil Al-Ustaz Al-Kazim
00:40:50I think there must be something wrong somewhere
00:40:53Mani
00:40:54Hmm
00:40:55Google mana bari
00:40:56Eh
00:40:57Telefon aku juga
00:40:59Inilah nak buat live
00:41:00Inilah nak google
00:41:01Inilah nak buat t-talk
00:41:03Nak boomerang
00:41:04Yakit ustaz Al-Kazim masih misteri
00:41:06Ustaz Al-Kazim sakit terkena buatan orang
00:41:08I think that one
00:41:09Sakit kaki bengkak
00:41:10Ya ya ya ya
00:41:11Nah
00:41:12Let me see
00:41:13See
00:41:15Hmm
00:41:16I told you
00:41:17Apa
00:41:18We need to help him
00:41:19WhOFF
00:41:26Eh
00:41:27The kat ni ke nou patah mana gelah
00:41:29Hah
00:41:33Ahli politik masuk hutan
00:41:35How
00:41:36Kau rasa dia buat apa
00:41:37Kau sekolah kan
00:41:38Hmm
00:41:39Eh Sarah pergi lepas kan
00:41:40Yea ya ya
00:41:42Haa
00:41:43Maybe he's looping for a
00:41:44Ghostvoters?
00:41:48Puming, padan, cacang semua.
00:41:52I don't know. Ghostvoters? Ghostriders?
00:41:55Now we want to know what he's doing, right?
00:41:57We follow him.
00:42:14We thank you.
00:42:16We've opened you.
00:42:18We've sent you.
00:42:20We've sent you.
00:42:22Then we said to the people,
00:42:24to Adam.
00:42:26And they've sent you to the Iblis.
00:42:30There was no one from the prayers.
00:42:34I pray for the Lord.
00:42:36I pray for the Lord.
00:42:38I pray for the Lord.
00:42:40I pray for the Lord of the Holy Ghost.
00:42:42I pray for the Lord and the Almighty.
00:42:44We give up a word.
00:42:46We do want to know what the Lord wants to know.
00:42:49The Lord HARKER is at one of the side.
00:42:53These are my events.
00:42:55And now we will meet him.
00:42:59We will meet him in the world.
00:43:04The Lord will meet him in the world.
00:43:08I don't want to.
00:43:10I don't want to.
00:43:12I don't want to.
00:43:14I want to.
00:43:16I want to.
00:43:18I want to.
00:43:20Let's go.
00:43:28I want to.
00:43:30I want to.
00:43:32Hey.
00:43:34Why are you doing that?
00:43:36This is so suspicious.
00:43:38Apa itu?
00:43:44Ini tak ada lain ni.
00:43:46Ini mesti urut lah ni.
00:44:02Kau belum balik ke?
00:44:04Ustaz.
00:44:06Sembang lagi eh.
00:44:08Saya tak ada nampak Muharram.
00:44:10Ada kau pun nampak?
00:44:12Tak tahulah Ustaz.
00:44:14Eh, saya dengar Muharram tu tengah sakit teruk.
00:44:16Menggurutu kulit dia.
00:44:18Sakit apa pun tak tahulah.
00:44:20Sakit?
00:44:22Sakit bendanya.
00:44:24Bila masa dia sakit?
00:44:26Eh, dah cakap dia sakit.
00:44:28Tak percaya dah.
00:44:29Elok semalam datang rumah.
00:44:30Bila masa dia sakit dia?
00:44:32Dia betul kamu ni.
00:44:33Kamu habis benar.
00:44:35Tak ada pulak saya tahu dia sakit.
00:44:37Eh, tak percaya pulak Ustaz ni.
00:44:39Aku pun tak percaya eh.
00:44:40Kamu tahu?
00:44:41Tak tahu.
00:44:42Semalam dia datang rumah saya elok je.
00:44:44Makan katak.
00:44:45Hah?
00:44:46Makan katak?
00:44:47Katak?
00:44:48Iya.
00:44:49Katak.
00:44:56Apa hal semua tengok katak ni?
00:45:02Udah, udah.
00:45:03Jangan flashback.
00:45:04Tak ada bajet.
00:45:06Dah, dah, dah, dah.
00:45:07Flashback rupanya.
00:45:08Ya Allah.
00:45:09Sekarang ni, kalau benar dia sakit,
00:45:12saya nak tengok.
00:45:13Astaghfirullahalazim.
00:45:17Ya Allah.
00:45:20Apa eh ni Muharram ni?
00:45:21Allahu Akbar.
00:45:22Ish.
00:45:24Katak mana datang ni?
00:45:25Tanya.
00:45:27Astaghfirullahalazim.
00:45:28Muharram.
00:45:29Muharram.
00:45:30Kenapa ni Muharram?
00:45:31Astaghfirullahalazim.
00:45:32Ya Allah.
00:45:33Ya Allah.
00:45:34Muharram.
00:45:35Eh.
00:45:36Muharram.
00:45:37Ni bakso ni.
00:45:38Ah.
00:45:39all
00:46:04Khul Qitalum
00:46:06Khul Qitalum
00:46:08Khul Qitalum
00:46:10Khul Qitalum
00:46:12Khul Qitalum
00:46:14Ya Allah
00:46:16Abang
00:46:18Abang kenapa ni, Abang?
00:46:20Ya Allah
00:46:22Astaghfirullahaladzim
00:46:24Ada berapa kali dah Abang muntah macam ni, Abang?
00:46:26Abang ada berkursung dengan siapa-siapa ke, Abang?
00:46:28Tak, Abang pun tak tahu
00:46:30Abang boleh hadapi, insya Allah
00:46:34Ugalah
00:46:36Portugас
00:46:38Baik
00:46:40Batang
00:46:44Baik
00:46:46Betul
00:46:49Fazine
00:46:52Ya Allah
00:46:54Ya Allah
00:46:56Buong
00:47:00Hyerr
00:47:02Ya Allah
00:47:04Abang...
00:47:07...dah dua hari dah Abang demam macam ni, Abang.
00:47:16Tak bangun-bangun pun.
00:47:19Abang, kita pergi hospital, ya?
00:47:22Ya? Saya telefon ambulan.
00:47:24Tak payah. Tak payah.
00:47:26Ini ujian.
00:47:28Ujian Allah.
00:47:31Abang boleh terlehan.
00:47:34I love you.
00:48:04You're a baby
00:48:09Jati matuku
00:48:13Aku relax with you
00:48:18Hingga neraka
00:48:19Mari sayang
00:48:32Oh
00:48:34Oh
00:48:36Oh
00:48:40Oh
00:48:44Oh
00:48:48Oh
00:48:52Oh
00:48:54Oh
00:48:58Oh
00:49:08Oh
00:49:10Oh
00:49:12Oh
00:49:14Oh
00:49:18Oh
00:49:20Oh
00:49:26Oh
00:49:28Oh
00:49:30Oh
00:49:32Oh
00:49:34Oh
00:49:36Oh
00:49:38Oh
00:49:40Oh
00:49:42Apa lagi yang kau nak daripada aku?
00:49:44Oh
00:49:46Oh
00:49:48Oh
00:49:50Oh
00:49:52Oh
00:49:54Oh
00:50:04Oh
00:50:06Oh
00:50:08Oh
00:50:10Oh
00:50:12Oh
00:50:14Oh
00:50:16Oh
00:50:18Oh
00:50:20Oh
00:50:22Oh
00:50:24Oh
00:50:26Oh
00:50:28Oh
00:50:30Oh
00:50:32Oh
00:50:36Oh
00:50:38Oh
00:50:40Oh
00:50:42Oh
00:50:44Oh
00:50:46Oh
00:50:48Oh
00:50:50Oh
00:50:52Oh
00:50:54Oh
00:50:56Oh
00:50:58Oh
00:51:00Oh
00:51:02Oh
00:51:06Oh
00:51:08Oh
00:51:10Oh
00:51:12Oh
00:51:16Oh
00:51:18Oh
00:51:20Oh
00:51:22Oh
00:51:24Oh
00:51:26Oh
00:51:28Oh
00:51:30Oh
00:51:32Oh
00:51:38Keduanya ujian itu adalah sedikit sangat
00:51:41nak dibandingkan dengan ni'mat
00:51:43yang Allah Ta'ala bagi kepada kami.
00:51:44Wahai kekasih yang kupuja
00:51:53Indah rupamu tidak terkata
00:52:00Antara hayal atau nyata
00:52:08Engkau sentiasa bersama pandanganku
00:52:19Pada kau yang satu
00:52:22Kau bini terpesona melihatmu
00:52:30Tertuju kepada kekasihku
00:52:38Engkau lah saktiku
00:52:42Kazeel
00:52:48Aku tunjukkan pada kamu
00:52:50Siapa yang khianat kamu selama ini
00:52:53Tengok dulu
00:52:59Ya Allah
00:53:01Mimpi aku pula ini
00:53:03Astaghfirullah
00:53:05Ya Allah
00:53:15Ya Allah
00:53:16Kalau ini mimpi mainan syaitan
00:53:19Ya Allah
00:53:20Hindarkanlah aku daripada asat dengki
00:53:22Buruk sangka
00:53:23Ya Allah
00:53:24Tapi kalau ini adalah
00:53:27Putunjuk daripadamu
00:53:28Ya Allah
00:53:29Aku bersyukur
00:53:31Kepadamu
00:53:32Ya Allah
00:53:33Sekurang-kurangnya
00:53:34Aku dapat mencari penyebabnya
00:53:36Aku dapat menyelesaikan
00:53:37Masalahnya
00:53:39Ya Allah
00:53:40Kau makbulkan doa aku
00:53:43Ya Allah
00:53:44Betul ke netizen kabur
00:53:48Si Haram menyantau si Kazim
00:53:50Betul
00:53:51Yang aku tahulah
00:53:52Memang si Muharam itu sahaja
00:53:54Menyantau Ustaz Kazim
00:53:55Dia dah lama dengki dengan Ustaz Kazim
00:53:57Atau dia je betul
00:53:59Kononnya
00:54:01Belajar pondok
00:54:02Hakikat
00:54:03Mak ripat
00:54:04Melipat
00:54:05Ustaz Kazim
00:54:07Bukan tak tahu pasal pat-pat-pat ini
00:54:10Dia bagi orang yang mudah faham
00:54:12Balik
00:54:13Terus, Hamid
00:54:14Tak begitu
00:54:15Eh kamu
00:54:16Agak-agaklah haram mak kopi itu
00:54:19Perabat, Mata ini
00:54:20Ustaz Kazim itu
00:54:22Pakcik dia
00:54:24Pak su dia
00:54:26Atau tumpuk
00:54:27Oh
00:54:29Ada dalil
00:54:30Yang ini Cik Tal tak berkenan
00:54:32Kamu ni Jud
00:54:34Syakas
00:54:35Jaga sikit bahasa itu
00:54:37Ha
00:54:38Nama dia dah elok-elok Muharam
00:54:40Kamu panggil haram
00:54:41Kenapa?
00:54:42Panggil elok-elok tak bolehkah?
00:54:44Dia tengah nazak itu
00:54:47Ha ini kamu
00:54:48Untuk mengantau orang saja
00:54:50Ada dalil
00:54:53Ini dalil
00:54:57Semua orang yang memang tak kuat memang lagi tak dalil
00:55:10Ingat senang-senang nak pergi dalil
00:55:12Hmm
00:55:13Hmm
00:55:14Hmm
00:55:15Hmm
00:55:16Hmm
00:55:17Hmm
00:55:18Hmm
00:55:19Hmm
00:55:20Orang yang memang tak kuat memang lagi tak dalil
00:55:23Ingat senang-senang nak pergi dalil
00:55:25Hmm
00:55:26Mudah flashback pun tak percaya
00:55:28Samen macam si Muharam
00:55:30Sikit-sikit dalil
00:55:31Sikit-sikit dalil
00:55:33Hmm
00:55:50Ustaz
00:55:51Ya nak ubat saya ke?
00:55:52Ya saya datang ni nak berubat
00:55:53Terima kasih lah datang nak tolong saya
00:55:55Sama Ustaz
00:55:56Kamu tengoklah apa-apa yang patut
00:55:57Baik Ustaz
00:55:58Tapi itulah Ustaz
00:55:59Sebelum saya nak berubat ni
00:56:01Saya nak minta tolong Ustaz dengan orang rumah
00:56:03Kalau boleh Ustaz dengan orang rumah
00:56:06Tutup
00:56:07Tutup mata dulu
00:56:08Tutup mata eh
00:56:09Ma
00:56:10Ya bang
00:56:11Tutup mata
00:56:12Ya bang tutup mata
00:56:13Haa
00:56:14Ustaz
00:56:15Kalau dengar apa-apa jangan tegak ya
00:56:17Hmm
00:56:18Tak gerah Ustaz
00:56:19Tak cukup gerah
00:56:20Ustaz
00:56:23Sabar ya Ustaz
00:56:24Baik
00:56:25Baik
00:56:29Kerah Ustaz
00:56:31Haa
00:56:32Kerah Ustaz
00:56:33Allahuakbar
00:56:34Kerah Ustaz
00:56:35Ma tolonglah
00:56:36Haa
00:56:37Oh kerah Ustaz
00:56:38Ush
00:56:39Allah
00:56:40Allah
00:56:41Akba
00:56:42Ustaz
00:56:43Astagfirullahalazim
00:56:44Kerah Ustaz
00:56:46Saya dah tahu
00:56:47Di mana syaitan itu duduk
00:56:51Hmm
00:56:52Di sana
00:56:55Hmm
00:56:56Hmm
00:56:57Hmm
00:56:58Di sana
00:56:59Oh
00:57:00Di sana
00:57:01Di sana
00:57:02Di sana
00:57:03Di sana
00:57:04Di sini tu haa
00:57:10Datang tadi naik apa
00:57:12Saya naik bas Ustaz
00:57:14Haa
00:57:15Bagi
00:57:16Bayar duit tambah
00:57:17Berapa nak bagi bang
00:57:18Bagilah dua tiga ratus mohon
00:57:20Asyik mahoi
00:57:21Haa
00:57:22Haa
00:57:23Ada juga orang nak menipu ni
00:57:25Hmm
00:57:26Ya
00:57:27Tahu
00:57:28Lemang ni
00:57:29Saya
00:57:30Miyo
00:57:31Bowman
00:57:32Photostate
00:57:34Saya akan tunjukkan kepada Ustaz
00:57:36Siapa yang kianak Ustaz
00:57:39Melalui
00:57:40Mesin ni
00:57:42It's not photostate.
00:57:45It's photostate, Ustaz.
00:57:48I have a printer.
00:57:51Printer is a printer.
00:57:54Get out of you, Wahid Pengkidat!
00:58:06This is the one, Ustaz.
00:58:08Ya Allah.
00:58:09Allah.
00:58:10I'm sorry, Pengkidat!
00:58:12Allah.
00:58:13Hah?
00:58:15Tengok, Bang.
00:58:16Hah, tengoklah.
00:58:19Ini bukan kamu ke?
00:58:21Ah!
00:58:22Ah!
00:58:23Tengok, Bang.
00:58:24Tengok, Bang.
00:58:25Tengok, Bang.
00:58:26Tengok, Bang.
00:58:27Tengok, Bang.
00:58:29I'm sorry.
00:58:30Oh, Tengok.
00:58:31Terima kasih.
00:58:32Three, four, zim, zim, ala qadzim.
00:58:44Three, four, zim, ala qadzim.
00:59:14Four, zim, ala qadzim.
00:59:44Four, zim, ala qadzim.
01:00:14Zim, ala qadzim.
01:00:44Four, zim, ala qadzim.
01:01:14Zim, ala qadzim.
01:01:44Four, zim, ala qadzim.
01:02:14Four, zim, ala qadzim.
01:02:44Four, zim, ala qadzim.
01:02:50Oh, my God.
01:03:20Oh, my God.
01:03:50Oh, my God.
01:04:19Oh, my God.
01:04:50Mari, Ibu.
01:04:52Kalau kita jumpa jenazah macam ni, kita minta kepada Allah tolong kita.
01:04:58Ingat.
01:04:59Ingat doa ni Ustaz nak baca.
01:05:01La ilaha illallah al-azimul halim.
01:05:06La ilaha illallah rabbul arshil azim.
01:05:10La ilaha illallah rabbul samawati wa rabbul awa rabbul arshil karim.
01:05:15Engkau permudahkanlah, ya Allah, urusan kami, ya Allah.
01:05:18Ente pun tahu, kan?
01:05:42Ana ni kalau melihat sesuatu, Ana tak akan melihat dari mata kasar Ana.
01:05:49Ana kalau melihat sesuatu, dari mata batin Ana.
01:05:53Mata kasyaf Ana. Mata makrifat Ana.
01:05:55Jadi, bila Ana lihat paksu Ana buat macam-macam program di surau tu, Ana rasa macam tak kena je.
01:06:05Dia nampak sumbang.
01:06:08Ana ni ilmu makrifat.
01:06:11Paksu Ana tu ilmu syariat, ilmu kulit.
01:06:16Kita tengok.
01:06:18Makrifat dengan syariat, mana lebih power?
01:06:21Syarat nak jadi imam ni, kena faham ilmu hakikat dan makrifat.
01:06:27Kalau setakat ilmu syariat, solat yang tidak mengenal Allah,
01:06:34solat dia tak akan sampai pada Allah.
01:06:38Macam Ana ni layak untuk jadi imam.
01:06:41Sebab Ana faham hakikat dan makrifat.
01:06:44Kalau macam paksu Ana tu, setakat ilmu kulit, ilmu syariat,
01:06:51solat yang tidak mengenal Allah, macam mana nak sampai?
01:06:55Kalau imam solat tak sampai, makmu macam mana pula?
01:06:59Tergantung macam tu.
01:07:01Hang bakui. Bukan tak bakui. Bakui.
01:07:06Tapi haram.
01:07:07Aja tumpuk. Haram pula.
01:07:10Moharam, oi. Hang tak layak lagi.
01:07:13Faham tak?
01:07:13Betul, betul. Belajar lagi.
01:07:15Antun panggil anak haram.
01:07:17Antun pernah tengok anak haram.
01:07:20Halal.
01:07:21Halal.
01:07:22Pak Suhana tu anak haram.
01:07:25Ingatlah, wahai Muharam bin Salmah.
01:07:28Nur Azlin binti Sharifah.
01:07:31Apabila datang pada kamu dua malaikat sebagai wakil Tuhan
01:07:35yang menemui kamu.
01:07:39Iaitu Mungka dan Nakir.
01:07:41Janganlah kamu merasa takut dan gentar.
01:07:45Janganlah kamu berduka cita dan risau.
01:07:49Serta janganlah kamu susah hati dan terkejut.
01:07:51Baik sungguh akhlak Ustaz Kazim.
01:07:55Alhamdulillah.
01:07:55Alhamdulillah.
01:07:58Zuhud dia,
01:08:01Abang tak pernah jumpa pada sesiapa.
01:08:06Dia tak marah pun pada jenazah.
01:08:11Bahkan dia lagi sayang adalah.
01:08:15Abang...
01:08:16Dahlah, Abang.
01:08:17Bila saya cakap dengan Abang pasal Ustaz Kazim,
01:08:20Abang marah saya.
01:08:22Abang nak gaduh dengan saya.
01:08:25Sekarang Abang faham, kan?
01:08:28Dah.
01:08:29Lepas ini, Abang tak payah nak pergi jauh-jauh dah.
01:08:32Kita pergi mengaji sama-sama.
01:08:35Kita dengar ceramah Ustaz Kazim sama-sama.
01:08:37Bila kita buat semua benda sama-sama,
01:08:41InsyaAllah,
01:08:42tiang suri kita akan bertambah kukuh, bertambah kuat.
01:08:46Ustaz Kazim.
01:08:47Ustaz.
01:08:49Apa kutuban ini?
01:08:53Assafur.
01:08:55Alhamdulillah.
01:08:57Lain benar Ustaz Kazim ini.
01:09:01Pandangan mata hati dia tak sama.
01:09:03Selama ini, Abang cahit yang jauh-jauh.
01:09:10Abang.
01:09:12Rupa-rupanya,
01:09:14ilmu itu ada depan mata.
01:09:16Ya Allah.
01:09:20Kita doa kepada Allah.
01:09:22Mudah-mudahan,
01:09:24tempat mereka ialah tempat orang-orang yang beriman.
01:09:26Dan Allah mengampunkan dosa-dosa mereka
01:09:29dan menerima segala amalan mereka.
01:09:33Alhamdulillah.
01:09:38Inilah dia.
01:09:40Yang saya cakap tu.
01:09:42Kalau kamu semua nak kerja di sini,
01:09:44inilah pejabatnya yang serba cantik, indah menawan.
01:09:49Ini yang saya cakap ni.
01:09:50Nak buat syuti ke?
01:09:52Nak buat apa ke?
01:09:53Semua boleh buat cik.
01:09:54Dah siap semua dah ni?
01:09:55Dah cantik dah ni?
01:09:57Al-barakah, eh?
01:09:58Al-barakah.
01:09:58Sebut betul-betul.
01:10:00Kenapa pun?
01:10:00Ingatang apa tu?
01:10:02Ui!
01:10:02Astaghfirullahaladzim.
01:10:04Hai!
01:10:05Macam planet of the apes je ni.
01:10:07Kamu belakang.
01:10:08Aduh belakang.
01:10:08Takut dah, Ustaz.
01:10:09Minus Bici jarang jumpa ni, Ustaz.
01:10:11Malu-malu pula-pula.
01:10:13Mari.
01:10:14Hai!
01:10:14Mari, mari, mari.
01:10:17Nampak macam Gina.
01:10:19Mari.
01:10:21Macam pula pun nampak.
01:10:25Ustaz.
01:10:26Apa?
01:10:27Kawan Ustaz ke?
01:10:29Ustaz.
01:10:29Boleh bercakap?
01:10:30Saya, Ustaz.
01:10:33Saya.
01:10:34Tak apa ni saya ni?
01:10:35Ustaz.
01:10:36Saya, Ustaz.
01:10:37Saya tu siapa?
01:10:38Saya, YB.
01:10:40YB ni?
01:10:41Haa.
01:10:41YB.
01:10:42YB?
01:10:43YB?
01:10:44YB yang buat umat tu?
01:10:45Ya.
01:10:45Haa, kena jadi yang binatang pula.
01:10:47Astagfirullahalazim.
01:10:48Apa cerita pun masalah ni?
01:10:50Ustaz.
01:10:51Haa.
01:10:52Saya banyak buat dosa, Ustaz.
01:10:54Saya banyak dosa banyak.
01:10:56Sudah, sudah, sudah, sudah.
01:10:58Bangun, bangun, bangun.
01:10:59Saya maafkan.
01:11:00Saya halalkan.
01:11:01Dunia akhirat saya halalkan.
01:11:04Tak ada simpan dalam hati.
01:11:05Tapi.
01:11:06Ya.
01:11:07Saya ada dosa besar lagi, Ustaz.
01:11:09Dosa apa yang besar itu?
01:11:13Minta maaflah, YB.
01:11:15Menteri dah luluskan projek ini pada Ustaz Kazim.
01:11:20Siapa?
01:11:21Ulang sekali lagi.
01:11:22Ustaz Kazim.
01:11:23Menteri dah luluskan projek ini pada dia.
01:11:26Eh.
01:11:28Awak tahu tak berapa banyak saya dah booking kontraktor semua.
01:11:32Ujung-ujung, kenapa dia dapat?
01:11:34Lah, ya ke?
01:11:36Manalah saya tahu.
01:11:37Yang YB mana-mana pergi booking tanpa mengatakan menteri.
01:11:40Kenapa?
01:11:41Ustaz Kazim nak buat surau.
01:11:42Surau!
01:11:44Surau apa lagi?
01:11:46Buat waktualah!
01:11:47Bawa yang dapat banyak duit!
01:11:49Sabar, YB.
01:11:50Kau bersatu hal!
01:11:54Kau, binatang, muridat!
01:11:57Aku sempat kau tak dibayar!
01:12:00Disebabkan saya terlalu marahkan Ustaz.
01:12:02Saya gunakan bangkai monyet untuk sihir, Ustaz.
01:12:07Saya tanam bangkai monyet depan rumah Ustaz.
01:12:12Supaya Ustaz nampak macam monyet.
01:12:14Biar semua orang becik pada Ustaz.
01:12:17Ampunkan saya, Ustaz!
01:12:22Allahu Akbar.
01:12:25Sampai macam itu sekali, YB.
01:12:27Buat kat saya macam itu, YB.
01:12:34Saya menderita, YB.
01:12:37Saya sakit itu.
01:12:39Angkara perbuatan ini.
01:12:41Tapi kerana Islam menyuruh kita memaafkan,
01:12:46saya maafkanlah perbuatan YB pada saya.
01:12:50Saya tak simpan dalam hati.
01:12:52Walaupun sakit,
01:12:54walaupun pedih,
01:12:56walaupun sengsara hidup saya.
01:12:58Tak apa, YB.
01:13:00Setiap manusia ada kesalahan.
01:13:02Yang mereka lakukan.
01:13:03Saya pun ada kesalahan.
01:13:05Saya maafkanlah, YB.
01:13:06I'll come around all of that.
01:13:36I'll come around all of that.
01:14:06I'll come around all of that.
01:14:36I'll come around all of that.
01:15:06I'll come around all of that.
01:15:36I'll come around all of that.
01:16:06I'll come around all of that.
01:16:36I'll come around all of that.
01:16:41I'll come around all of that.
01:16:48I'll come around all of that.
01:16:55I'll come around all of that.
01:17:02I'll come around all of that.
01:17:09I'll come around all of that.
01:17:16I'll come around all of that.
01:17:23I'll come around all of that.
01:17:30I'll come around all of that.
01:17:37I'll come around all of that.
01:17:44I'll come around all of that.
01:17:51I'll come around all of that.
01:17:58I'll come around all of that.
01:18:05I'll come around all of that.
01:18:07I'll come around all of that.
01:18:14I'll come around all of that.
01:18:16I'll come around all of that.
01:18:23I'll come around all of that.
01:18:30I'll come around all of that.
01:18:32I'll come around all of that.
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