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Short filmTranscript
00:00us hillary i don't think we're gonna work what look i need a partner in life
00:09a wife who's going to go where i need to go and do what i need to do and be excited about
00:13my accomplishments i can't get dragged down by somebody who's out saving dogs and cats
00:17god knows what else jason is this about moving to pittsburgh i'll i'll move to pittsburgh
00:25a new vp position opened up in our pittsburgh office and i guarantee i am the top pick for
00:31this position we have a life here what am i gonna do with pittsburgh
00:38look i i just i have to stay focused and mobile to advance in my career i gotta keep my priorities
00:43straight believe me this is one of those tough decisions but it's for the best for both of us
00:49i just i can't make a mistake not now
00:57when did i become a mistake
01:03just i have to get this just just go for kate
01:10no no no that is exactly how you
01:11he's a jerk i knew he was too good to be true maybe my mom was right maybe i let him keep one
01:19foot out the door all right it's time to pick the winner for this week's kjwm weekly holiday vacation
01:25giveaway and the lucky winner is hillary burns oh my god you won we are finally in the running for a
01:32trip to mexico it could be our honeymoon what all of my sisters found perfect men and i can't even get
01:39one in the door is that it is that what would make you happy right now to bring home a man for
01:44thanksgiving i just can't go home all alone i just can't face it i can't do it not now okay look all
01:52you have to do just post this with a flirty little intro video of your pretty face and voila all you have
01:59to do is click i'll help you do the video you really think it's a good idea to bring a stranger
02:05home or possibly a psycho to my parents house for thanksgiving hillary i just wanted you to know i
02:12planned a small family gathering at the house for when you and jason arrive do it now of course if he
02:20preferred white hi hi hi my name is hillary i need to hire a fake fiance to bring home to my family for
02:31thanksgiving in return you will receive two free first class tickets to playa del carmen mexico
02:37so just record a quick video intro post it to this page and we'll get back to you
02:45whoa what who is it come in i can't believe it look at all of these
02:51all right mexico's got some sweetest waves man i mean after the weekends over here we can just serve
03:03sun serve eat serve and then search some more i do have irritable bowel syndrome
03:10i don't really need to get to mexico
03:21i knew this was a bad idea come over here no no no i don't want to come on just talk to him he's
03:39cute he kind of looks like jason hi is everything okay over there depending on what you mean by okay
03:45everything's great why don't you tell us a bit about yourself oh okay my name is david i'm an actor
03:52hey wait i know you hey wait i know you you're the cell phone guy in the costume
04:00that's just sad he's our first interview come on let's go hi excuse me oh oh i'm sorry i'm sorry
04:08you could help me save my very life
04:15oh crap i knew it come on we gotta go back to y'all that's right and you're the reporter yeah
04:21i was sorry to hear about the newspapers shutting down did you lose your job or what do you think
04:26right sorry obvious uh for what it's worth i got fired playing a big red cell phone so oh i'm sorry
04:35Don't be. You could help me save my very last red dignity.
04:39I mean, if I can't book a job playing a fake fiance for a weekend, I should probably call it quits.
04:45Are you free to meet Hillary tomorrow, face to face?
04:48Sure thing.
04:52Hey, okay, so, I Facebooked him, he hasn't responded, and when you Google him, the only thing that comes up are a few photos of him on Flickr with some chick named Lindsay on a beach.
05:02So, looks like he's not a psycho, he's just another out-of-work loser actor.
05:06You sound like my agent.
05:07Oh, hi.
05:09Hi.
05:10Um, you two have fun.
05:12Great.
05:15Hi.
05:17So, I checked out?
05:19Yeah, seems like it.
05:21Do you think that Jason is more of a corporate lawyer type?
05:25Corporate. What kind of car do you drive?
05:27Uh, 98, Jeep Grand Cherokee, fully loaded.
05:29We'll take my car.
05:30Okay.
05:31Okay, I'm gonna friend you on Facebook, accept my request, click on all my family photo albums, memorize all the names, everybody's clearly marked.
05:38Okay, will do.
05:39Okay.
05:41Well, I guess I'll pick you up here, tomorrow, 8 a.m. sharp.
05:45Sounds good.
05:47Okay.
05:52Um...
05:53Sorry, I don't know what's going on here with the thing, the hair.
06:00I'll take care of it.
06:01Yeah?
06:02Okay.
06:03I guess I'm gonna buy your coffee.
06:04I guess I'm gonna buy your coffee.
06:09You clean up real good.
06:10You clean up real good.
06:22You look nice yourself.
06:23And don't forget, my parents are very excited that you are a lawyer.
06:29About that.
06:30I don't know if I'm gonna be able to pull that off.
06:33You're an actor.
06:34Act.
06:36Okay, hit me with the family breakdown.
06:38Okay, uh, Meredith.
06:39Mother, housewife extraordinaire.
06:40Roy, dad, the councilman.
06:41Uh, your younger sister is Trish.
06:42Joy.
06:43Right, right.
06:44Trish is the middle one.
06:45And, uh, her husband is Gil.
06:46And, Joy's fiance's name is?
06:47Uh, John.
06:48Paul.
06:49Peter.
06:50You gotta get these straight.
06:51They're all gonna be at the party.
06:52Party?
06:53Yeah.
06:54It's no big deal.
06:55Just family.
06:56How long were you and Jason engaged?
06:57Uh, we dated for seven months.
06:59Uh, we dated for seven months.
07:00Uh, we dated for seven months.
07:01Uh, we dated for seven months.
07:02Uh, we dated for seven months.
07:03Uh, we dated for seven months.
07:04Uh, we dated for seven months.
07:07We dated for seven months.
07:08We were engaged for two.
07:09Wow.
07:10What happened?
07:11He's, uh, he's under a lot of pressure.
07:15Really stressed.
07:16He got this big job promotion offer in Pittsburgh.
07:18So.
07:19Oh, look.
07:20Here we are.
07:24Okay.
07:25Just remember, say as little as possible and follow my lead.
07:28Here we go.
07:30Here we go.
07:32Oh, honey, honey, honey, you're finally here.
07:36Oh, sweetie.
07:37Oh, sweetie.
07:38Come here.
07:39Mom.
07:40Mom.
07:41Mom.
07:42Huh.
07:43You know, you could wash that car every once in a while.
07:46What about Jason's Tesla?
07:48I wanted to ride in that.
07:50Oh, that was my fault.
07:51I wanted to save my mileage, so we took the Jetta instead.
07:54Oh, well.
07:55At least we finally get to meet Jason.
07:58Oh.
07:59Oh.
08:00Oh.
08:01You're practically part of the family now.
08:03Yeah.
08:04Okay, well, let's go in.
08:05Okay.
08:06Everybody's looking forward to meeting you.
08:08Okay, come on in here.
08:11Oh, my God.
08:13I thought you said this was family only.
08:16I didn't want the whole town to think that you were going to be a spinster forever.
08:20Everyone, this is Hillary's fiance, Jason.
08:21Hi.
08:22Hi.
08:23Hi.
08:24How's it going?
08:25Okay.
08:26Oh, yeah.
08:27Oh, Jason?
08:28Yeah.
08:29You were that firm that's defending that schmuck, Shorman.
08:31Shorman?
08:32Yeah, man.
08:33He's as guilty as they come if you ask me.
08:34Filking all those suckers out of their life savings.
08:35You know, Frank, I think everybody's considered innocent until proven guilty.
08:37Isn't that right, Jason?
08:38Jason?
08:39Yeah.
08:40Mr. Burns.
08:41Call me Roy.
08:42Yes.
08:43Pleasure to meet you, Roy.
08:45You know what they say.
08:46How does it feel to be defending a crook like that?
08:47Well, I...
08:48You know what, Frank?
08:49Why don't you get yourself some eggnog?
08:50I just whipped up a fresh batch.
08:51Thanks, man.
08:52Frank just comes for the eggnog.
08:53Yeah.
08:54So, listen.
08:55What kind of eggnog do you do?
08:56What kind of eggnog do you do?
08:57What kind of eggnog do you do?
08:58What kind of eggnog do you do?
08:59What kind of eggnog do you do?
09:00What kind of eggnog do you do?
09:01What kind of eggnog do you do?
09:02Did you do it?
09:03Okay, thanks, Frank.
09:04Thanks, man.
09:05Frank just comes for the eggnog.
09:06Dad, so listen.
09:07What kind of case do you do?
09:08Do you do, I don't know...
09:09Fraud?
09:10Or extortion?
09:11Or money laundering?
09:12Uh, yeah.
09:13Yeah, I do all of those.
09:15Come on, dad.
09:16Leave poor Jason alone.
09:17He's spent enough time at the office already.
09:19Dad, do it all the lawyering.
09:21Do you play?
09:23Yes, but quite badly.
09:25No.
09:26Oh, you're great then.
09:27Mind if I...
09:28Oh.
09:29you know when Hillary was young she used to sing oh no oh no no okay everybody it's time to show
09:48the engagement ring wait till you see this beauty ta-da so I I I I
09:57that's a funny story actually right sweetie it turns out Hillary lost a few pounds and the ring
10:11doesn't fit her anymore and this morning she's taking a shower she gets out of the shower and the
10:16ring falls off her finger into the toilet she calls me hysteric crazy I was crazy crazy she was she was
10:22freaking out I get there so what do I do I do it it's go time so I get down there on my knees and I
10:29I go in there I go in there I can feel it I can feel it right there it gets away then I have to
10:35I have to go a little bit deeper and I'm reaching for it no deeper deeper yes really small hands it's
10:41disturbing actually I can feel it I can feel it right right on the edge of my finger it's right
10:45there it's right there and I got it got the ring got the ring yeah it's oh my god we decided to leave
10:52it home till we get it resized yeah yeah it's better safe than sorry right sweetie
10:57mm-hmm I'm gonna get a drink hey hell isn't it I thought you quit I did so is my fiance boring
11:13yours with his foot talk yet no but I think David's got his hands pretty full
11:17did I say David yeah and Jason of course David's a friend I was on the phone okay well I guess we
11:29better go back in there if mom has anything else to surprise me with can you please tell me deal
11:35good to see you oh my sweetie oh yes we always gather together here
11:44hey everybody ready
11:44worry I could show Jason his room well honey don't be silly the inn is full besides I don't expect you
11:55to have separate rooms just separate beds and if you need extra pillows or blankets just ask me
12:05that's okay mom I think I know where everything is okay well you take it tonight I'll take it tomorrow
12:10night whatever you want okay I'm gonna go get a change for bed okay
12:15sorry um no I'm sorry I thought you were still in the pajamas please uh no I don't uh I don't wear
12:33pajamas I didn't bring it okay it's fine I'll just find save my dad or something great
12:39daddy daddy I plead not guilty sorry what sorry I came to ask you if Jason could borrow some pajamas
12:55oh I don't have any your mother and I sleep in the wrong oh since when oh since joy went off to college
13:03we ran around naked for a week you should see all right I don't know I don't want to hear
13:06this guy uh this Jason he treats you right does he yeah yeah of course what do you love him
13:16what it's an easy question should be an easy answer dad I'm marrying the guy so do you love him
13:24yes I do
13:26hey
13:30you know you're right after all all you need is love
13:36you know
13:50you know
13:54I just wanted to let you know that I did lumped into some tickets to Gladwell Carmen, and I don't know, I thought maybe you might want to go, but you know, call me.
14:24Good morning.
14:32Morning, sweetheart.
14:33Where's Trish and Gil?
14:34Trish has sold the hotel, Gil hasn't shown up yet.
14:37Why are they staying at a hotel when there's plenty of room here?
14:40Well, with Emma and the nanny, maybe they felt they'd be a bother.
14:44I don't even know why Trish has a nanny. I mean, come on. I felt like she's ever had a job.
14:49But it's nice that her husband can afford to give her whatever she wants. He's just never around.
14:56How about Jason? How much does he in her?
14:59Mom.
15:00Oh, sweetie, I just want to make sure that you're cared for.
15:03Oh, come on, Mom. It is the 21st century. You don't need to be cared for. We have our own jobs. Right, Gil?
15:10Actually, the newspaper I was working for shut down.
15:14Oh, honey, not again.
15:16Well, it's not my fault. Nobody reads newspapers anymore.
15:19Everything's on the internet.
15:20I know.
15:21Well, just in time.
15:23I want you to tell me if my yam casserole is sweet enough.
15:27Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not a fan.
15:30Yes, you are. You're such a joker. He's such a joker. He loves yams. Like I said, he loves yams.
15:36Yeah, I love it.
15:37Okay.
15:38I made that with Splenda instead of sugar.
15:46Oh, yeah. Maybe just a little more time. He is really funny. He is. He really is. He's so funny. He's such a kidder.
15:58Well, I just hope he's more serious when it comes to setting a wedding date. Please don't start.
16:04Honey, I'm sorry if I seem a little anxious. It's just that I have been deprived of planning the weddings for not one, but two of my daughters.
16:17Here we go.
16:19Can't you girls understand that a mother wants to plan her daughter's weddings?
16:25Oh, since you were babies, I've dreamed of this. And then to find out that Trisha eloped to an island.
16:32Well, what about Joy? Joy is engaged.
16:34Yes. Joy is engaged.
16:36Yes, she is. And has been for two years.
16:39I will be six feet under by the time she sets a date.
16:42I'm sorry if I'm a little upset. But honey, it's come down to you. You're the only one I can count on.
16:55I'm, I'm, uh... December 21st. I'm, I'm, uh... December 21st. I didn't want to tell you. I wanted to...
17:04We were going to surprise you at dinner, but that's it. December 21st.
17:08You're getting married on December 21st?
17:10Yes.
17:11Oh, my God. It's kind of soon, but it's fabulous.
17:15Oh, my darling girl. Oh, this is fantastic. Oh, did you hear? I'm so happy.
17:23Well, okay, I have to book the community hall and, and call Gayle's Greenery. I don't even know the number.
17:29We wanted something small.
17:31What are they doing out there?
17:43Well, your father got it in his head that he was going to deep fry the turkey this year.
17:49Once we get this baby boiling, you just rig the bird up to this line, just drop it in the oil, huh?
17:54Whatever you say. All right, let's fire this bad boy up, all right? Get that, would you?
17:58Yeah.
17:59Let me ask you something. Uh-huh. Do you ever, uh, represent a councilman or a politician or anything?
18:03No, but not personally. But you could, huh? Sure. Good to know. Good to know.
18:10Uh, wait, don't you want to wait until the oil, he, he, top?
18:14Come on, we're missing the gate. I thought it's going to take half an hour for it to get boiling. Come on.
18:18Oh, God. Okay.
18:21So, it's me. No, things are not going well at all. I just told my mom that David and I are getting married in a month.
18:26You're marrying David now? That was quick.
18:28No, no, no. Me and Jason. I just, I blurted it out that we're getting married on December 21st.
18:32Wait, what? This is nuts. I'm putting you on speaker.
18:35Well, no, because what, what if Jason really did get cold feet and, and he's going to come back to me because I mean more than, more than Pittsburgh.
18:42And, and then the wedding's already planned, which is, which is actually not that crazy.
18:47No, it's crazy, Hill. It's super crazy.
18:49I know, that's crazy. What am I going to do?
18:52Look, I don't know. Surf's up. Greg's going to be here any minute. I gotta go.
18:56What?
18:57Yeah, just, just listen to your heart.
18:59Just ride the wave. Just ride the wave.
19:02Just ride the wave.
19:03What?
19:04I don't want to wonder.
19:05Sophie. Sophie.
19:06You know, Roy, I think it's probably been 30 minutes. Should we go check on the pot?
19:14You know, I could use a little, you know, legal counsel.
19:19Oh, well, you're a councilman, right? I'm sure you have a great lawyer. He's a little too involved. You know what I mean?
19:29Anyway, what would be better than keeping it in a family?
19:32Hmm. All right, well, I guess I better go. Drop that bird in the oil.
19:36Oh, uh, are you sure you don't need a hand with that?
19:38No, no, I got it, Kurt.
19:41Uh, ticklish.
19:46Hi.
19:48It's beeping.
19:52Peter, can I have my foot back now?
19:55Oh, of course.
19:57You're welcome.
20:11Anything important?
20:14What? Oh, no. No, nothing important.
20:23Ooh.
20:24Oh!
20:25Oh!
20:26Oh!
20:27Oh!
20:28Oh!
20:29Oh!
20:30Oh!
20:31Roy!
20:32Oh...
20:38For the love of...
20:41Well, this isn't so bad, is it?
20:45Oh, for the love of...
20:49Well, this isn't so bad, is it?
20:56Oh, um...
20:58I asked for seltzer. This looks like tap water with cheese floating in it.
21:04Sorry, Mrs. Burns.
21:06I can see that your old boyfriend hasn't amounted to much.
21:11Hi!
21:12Hi!
21:13I'm sorry we're late.
21:15Hi!
21:16Where's Gil?
21:17Uh, the benefit that he was attending ran late, so now he snowed in, in New York.
21:23Well, that's too bad.
21:24I know.
21:25If he were here, he could have gotten us a table at the golf club.
21:28Then we wouldn't have to eat in this dump.
21:30Hey, it's not snowing in New York.
21:34You know, Gilbert has a platinum membership to all the best clubs.
21:37Well, I'm not a big golf fan, so this place suits me just fine.
21:40I'm not a fan.
21:41I'm not a fan of the golf.
21:42But you know, like a spectator.
21:43But I just play.
21:44Very, very badly.
21:45Very, very badly.
21:46That's why they gave you a car.
21:47Yeah, I'm not a fan of the golf.
21:49But, you know, like a spectator.
21:50But I just play.
21:51Very, very badly.
21:52Very, very badly.
21:53That's why they gave you a car.
21:54Yeah.
21:55The Tesla, right?
21:56Yes.
21:57He won the car at the tournament, and you interviewed the winner.
21:58Look at me.
21:59He forgets everything.
22:00Right, honey?
22:01Crazy.
22:02I think you're sandbagging, aren't you?
22:03No.
22:04Oh, my God.
22:05Sandbagging.
22:06Oh, my God.
22:07Sandbagging.
22:08Oh, my God.
22:09Oh, my God.
22:10Sandbagging.
22:11Oh, my God.
22:12Oh, my God.
22:13Oh, my God.
22:14Oh, my God.
22:15Oh, my God.
22:16Oh, my God.
22:17Oh, my God.
22:18Oh, my God.
22:19Oh, my God.
22:20Oh, my God.
22:21Oh, oh, my God.
22:23See you.
22:24Oh, Doc.
22:25My name is Paco, and I'll be your server this holiday evening.
22:27Would you like to hear about our specials?
22:28Absolutely.
22:29.
22:30Okay, well, basically what we have is anything that's chicken, on a
22:33pwy.
22:34We switch that up for guajolote.
22:37Guajolote?
22:39Oh, guajolote.
22:40That means turkey.
22:42And that turkey tacos are particularly delicious tonight.
22:46David?
22:47Yes?
22:51Hey! It's Julian!
22:53Hi, Julian!
22:54Hey!
22:55Hi there!
22:56Hi there!
22:57But my name is Jason.
22:59Jason?
23:00Jason is my name.
23:01No, it's not. J... Really?
23:03Yeah, he's Jason. Look, my... David is my middle name, so there's confusion sometimes.
23:09Oh, okay. Alrighty.
23:11Well, anyway, it's been a while since we did that bus and truck tour pair together.
23:14Oh, God, you look good.
23:17Are you still in the biz?
23:18Yes.
23:19So, what are you doing?
23:21Oh, you're looking at it.
23:22It's a nightmare, yeah.
23:23I had to move back in with my parents to get a more stable career going on.
23:26So, here I am.
23:27Alright, I hear you.
23:29Gracias. De nada. I'll be there.
23:31It never stops.
23:33Anyway, I'll be back in a minute to get your orders.
23:35Just word to the wise, don't get the Flavos Rancheros.
23:37I had them for breakfast. I feel like there's a knife in my colon.
23:40Happy Turkey Day, everyone. Olé!
23:42Olé!
23:43Jillian.
23:44So, Jason David, what biz are you still in?
23:54Oh, I'm in the law.
23:56I do a little pro bono work.
24:01I'm charity.
24:03And I represented a few theater companies a few years back.
24:09So, theater people are so crazy.
24:13I do some salsa.
24:16He's a giver.
24:17Mmm.
24:20How could you forget we went over that at least half a dozen times?
24:23I've never played golf before. It's not a part of my repertoire.
24:26And what was all that with the crazy waiter and the diner?
24:28We were in a production of hair eight years ago.
24:30How was I supposed to know we'd end up in...
24:32Where are we, anyway?
24:33Is everything okay?
24:35Yes, we were just talking about the mix-up of the diner.
24:38Oh, what mix-up?
24:41Well, I'm pooped.
24:42Oh, I'm pooped, too.
24:43It's not every day that we blow up a turkey around here.
24:46You know, dinner was actually kind of fun.
24:49And the Mexican food wasn't half bad.
24:51Oh, it was good.
24:52Not as good as your turkey dinner would have been.
24:54It wasn't even close.
24:56You know, if Hillary doesn't take me to the curb,
24:59maybe I'll be lucky enough to try it next time.
25:01Mmm.
25:02Well, you know, I didn't want to deep-fry that turkey in the first place.
25:06Mmm.
25:07But when Roy gets an idea stuck in his head,
25:09we've got, uh, stuffing, three pies, and my yam casserole,
25:15which is always better on the second day anyway.
25:17Mmm, that is so true.
25:19You know, it's getting late.
25:20Uh-huh.
25:21So you go to bed, get a good night's sleep,
25:24and we'll see you in the morning, okay?
25:26Yeah, good night.
25:28Your turn to sleep on the cot.
25:32I'm sorry.
25:35No.
25:37No, it was me.
25:39I dropped the ball.
25:41I just, I don't know why you're doing this.
25:43I mean, I know you want the tickets,
25:45but there's gotta be an easier way to get to Mexico.
25:47Blaya del Carmen.
25:51That's where I met my girlfriend.
25:54Or, rather, my ex-girlfriend.
25:57I guess I thought that if I took her back to the resort where we met,
26:02and, I don't know, it might read Night the Spark or something,
26:07but I didn't have enough money for the ticket, so...
26:11Well, I'm sure it'll work.
26:15I hope so.
26:16I mean, she's kind of dating this other guy right now.
26:22But who does she call every time they break up?
26:25Me.
26:27So, obviously, she, deep down,
26:31she really doesn't want to be with him.
26:33Hmm.
26:34So, you're the get-back guy.
26:37What?
26:38What, man?
26:41The get-back guy?
26:43You know, the guy she calls to get back at her ex.
26:46No, I'm not that guy.
26:47He's that guy.
26:48Well, when you met her, was she seeing him?
26:49No, they just broken up.
26:51See?
26:53No, no, no.
26:54It's not like that.
26:55No, they broke up.
26:56Uh-huh.
26:57And then we met.
26:58And then we were, you know, together.
27:00Me, together.
27:01Like a couple.
27:02For how long?
27:03Uh...
27:04Four...
27:05Hmm...
27:06Five weeks.
27:09And then she went back to him?
27:10Yeah, but she keeps calling me.
27:13Uh-uh, all right.
27:14It may look like I'm the get-back guy,
27:17but I know that all she needs to do is get away from that...
27:22that hold he has on her,
27:24and then she can realize that what she really wants...
27:27is me.
27:28Okay.
27:31Trust me.
27:32I know her.
27:33She's materialistic and sentimental.
27:36So this could work.
27:38Maybe.
27:39I mean the...
27:40the ticket thing.
27:44Are you hungry?
27:47You know, I was bummed when the post closed down.
27:50That was my Sunday morning read.
27:51I love that funky rag.
27:52I know.
27:53The end of an era.
27:54So are you gonna find another gay reporting or something?
27:57I don't know.
27:58I mean, the only reason why I got that job was because my friend Sophie worked there, and I needed it, and...
28:04I don't think I'm very good at it.
28:06You wrote that article a few weeks back about the animal shelter, right?
28:10Yeah, that was me.
28:11Well, you must have some talent.
28:12I mean, it's thanks to you that I am now the proud owner of the same dog you were hugging in that photo.
28:18You rescued Skittles from the animal shelter because of what I wrote?
28:21Yeah.
28:22Only his name's Whiskey now.
28:25Yeah.
28:26I'm gonna miss the post.
28:27Oh.
28:29I mean, I get all the news I can handle online.
28:32But...
28:33I'm gonna hold something.
28:34You know?
28:35Not just my laptop, but an actual newspaper.
28:37Yeah.
28:38I love print.
28:39Who says print is dead?
28:40Let's start a revolution.
28:43Nice.
28:46What about you?
28:47And that cell phone gig are the only paying jobs I've had in a while.
28:50Hmm.
28:53Uh, look at the pair of us.
28:54Dumped, unemployed, and eating sugar and carbs at midnight.
28:57Right.
29:02Who is it?
29:06I don't know.
29:08We should take this upstairs.
29:09Great idea.
29:11Only two more days to go.
29:13If we lie low, we just go with it.
29:15I think we can totally answer this.
29:18No.
29:19Let's not pressure low.
29:20Let's get out of here and go sightseeing or something.
29:22I'm planning it.
29:28Wow.
29:29No!
29:30Oh, sorry.
29:31Oh, you startled me.
29:33It's beautiful.
29:35Oh, well, it will be.
29:37You do this all yourself?
29:38Every year.
29:39Um, can I help you at all?
29:41No.
29:42Oh.
29:45I'm sorry.
29:47Uh, okay.
29:49There is a wreath over there that I had designed for the mantle.
29:53Yes.
29:54Here?
29:55Pick it up very carefully, and it belongs right on the mantle in the center.
29:59Okay.
30:00Watch yourself on that ladder.
30:01Oh.
30:02I got it.
30:05Thank you, Jason.
30:07Don't worry about it.
30:08It's a little crooked.
30:10There.
30:11No, I, I mean, thank you for Thanksgiving, and for being such a good sport today, and...
30:21Thank you for loving my daughter.
30:27She loves you very much, you know.
30:31I can see it in her face.
30:35Well, uh...
30:37I love her, too, Mrs. Burns.
30:41Oh, call me Meredith.
30:43Please.
30:44Or, or Mom, if you like.
30:48Okay.
30:52Listen, uh, can I give you a hand with anything else, or...?
30:55After 20-some years, I've got it down to a science.
30:58All right.
31:01I'll, um, head up to bed, then.
31:06Good night, Jason.
31:10Good night.
31:13Good night, Mom.
31:16Good night.
31:17Good night, Mom.
31:28Hey, Hillary.
31:30Yeah.
31:31You seen this?
31:32Oh, yeah.
31:33My mom does this every year after Thanksgiving.
31:35It's her tradition.
31:36When we were little, we used to think it was elves or something.
31:45Just the two I was looking for!
31:47I know you're only here for a few more days, but we have to find the perfect wedding dress, and pick the china, and the linens, and the cake.
32:01Oh, I think you should go, hon.
32:04I mean, go with it.
32:06Isn't that what brides are supposed to do?
32:08Go dress shopping with their mothers?
32:10Yes, of course.
32:11Yeah.
32:12But I really think it's a good idea to go shopping on Black Friday.
32:16Let's go shopping!
32:17Yay!
32:18Mom, look.
32:19Oh, it's beautiful.
32:20Here.
32:21Hold my purse.
32:22Thanks.
32:23Here.
32:24Okay.
32:25Thanks.
32:26Here.
32:27Okay.
32:28Thanks.
32:29Here.
32:30Okay.
32:31Thanks.
32:32Are you almost ready?
32:47Oh!
32:48Oh!
32:49Oh!
32:50Hillary, it looks beautiful.
32:51Yeah?
32:52Oh, honey, you look beautiful.
32:53Pretty.
32:54Thank you very much.
32:59Thank you very much.
33:02Oh, darling, I love you.
33:04Yeah?
33:05Yeah.
33:06Oh!
33:09So what's going on with you and Jason?
33:11Nothing.
33:13My point exactly.
33:15We're two young lovebirds.
33:17I don't see much affection.
33:21No kiss.
33:22No hug.
33:23Mom, he's just not a touchy-feely guy.
33:24Don't worry about it.
33:25I just want to be able to see your marriage succeed, you know.
33:29Most marriages fall apart first in the bedroom.
33:34You know, your father and I make love three times a week.
33:37Ah.
33:38My ears are bleeding.
33:39Jason's a good catch.
33:41A little odd and nervous, I guess, but I like him.
33:46He's good for you.
33:48Pretty.
33:49Oh!
33:50Pretty.
33:51Oh!
33:52Pretty.
33:53Oh!
33:54Is she getting married?
33:55Well, yes.
33:56Of course.
33:57I'm not.
33:58Oh.
33:59My therapist says that I should visualize what I want and it will manifest itself.
34:03Well, that sounds like a very good strategy.
34:04I want that dress.
34:05I'll take it.
34:06That's beautiful.
34:08Nice.
34:09Oh, ma'am.
34:10Ma'am, that is my fiancé's dress.
34:11I saw it first and it's mine.
34:12Okay.
34:13Can I have you, please?
34:14No.
34:15Look.
34:16Avira Wang!
34:17Pretty!
34:18Oh, my God!
34:19Oh, my God!
34:20Oh, my God!
34:21Oh, my God!
34:22Oh, my God!
34:23Oh, my God!
34:24Oh, my God!
34:26Oh, my God!
34:27Oh, my God!
34:28Oh, my God!
34:29Oh, my God!
34:30Oh, my God!
34:31Who dressed my bride?
34:38Just between you and I, how would you advise a client to proceed if it was discovered that,
34:42let's say, he was getting money for selling, I don't know, votes?
34:47I would probably advise that person to stop talking about it and definitely not telling him.
34:51I'm not kidding.
34:52There's no one.
34:53Gotcha.
34:54Gotcha.
34:55Hey, so what do you like better, cups or mugs?
34:58I don't know.
34:59I think, I think we could better use that of mugs.
35:01What do you think?
35:02Table setting for eight or twelve?
35:03Hillary, can I talk you outside for a minute?
35:05Yeah.
35:06Okay.
35:10What, what, what?
35:11Okay.
35:12You do realize that we're not actually getting married, right?
35:15Yeah.
35:16Yeah.
35:17Yeah.
35:18Yeah.
35:19But what if Jason actually did get cold feet?
35:21I mean, a lot of people think they want to move to Pittsburgh and then, and then they change their mind.
35:26Hey!
35:27Look sharp, kid.
35:28There is someone here to see you!
35:36Oh, Father Macy!
35:37What are you doing here?
35:38Well, sweetie, your wedding is in less than a month.
35:40You really should have met with Father Macy weeks ago, so I invited him over.
35:44Oh, hi.
35:45Oh.
35:46Hello, I'm Father Macy.
35:47Hi, Father.
35:48Jason.
35:49So, is there somewhere we could go and talk?
35:51Well, it's a beautiful day.
35:52Why don't you take a walk?
35:53Perfect!
35:54So, Jason, you're going to marry Hillary.
35:55That's what they keep telling me.
35:56I would like to make sure that you're both headed on the same path, that you share the same ideals and beliefs, for if not, the marriage could suffer.
36:11So, Jason, tell me, which church were you raised in?
36:15Well, I didn't actually go to church.
36:19No worries.
36:20Are you Roman Catholic?
36:21No.
36:22Protestant?
36:23Mm-mm.
36:24LDS?
36:25Jewish.
36:26Jewish.
36:27Well, I see.
36:31I'm sure you understand, then, that I would not be able to perform the ceremony.
36:35No, we talked about this, and Jason has no problem with converting.
36:38Actually, I...
36:40Oh, I have a wonderful idea.
36:42We could have Jason baptized at the same time as Emma.
36:46Oh, I don't...
36:47No, Trish, I don't...
36:48That...
36:49Yeah, that could...
36:50Wow.
36:51Oh, no way.
36:52No way I'm getting baptized.
36:53Come on.
36:54It's just a formality.
36:55It's not that big a deal.
36:56I'm Jewish?
36:57You're not that Jewish.
36:58What are you even talking about?
37:00My...
37:01My grandma Turtletop would roll in her grave if she knew I was doing this.
37:04My mom would be so disappointed if we don't have a wedding at her church.
37:07What wedding, Hillary?
37:08We're not really getting married!
37:10Stay quiet!
37:11Shh!
37:12Shh!
37:14Oh, my God.
37:15I'm so sorry.
37:18This is so stupid.
37:20You're right.
37:21This is so stupid.
37:22What am I doing?
37:23This is so stupid.
37:24I mean, here I am trying to do everything to make my mother happy.
37:28And for what?
37:29To set her up for my greatest disappointment ever.
37:32That's so foolish to think Jason is actually coming back.
37:35He's not coming back.
37:36I mean, he's in Pittsburgh.
37:37He's happy to be rid of me.
37:38Here.
37:39Just give the voucher numbers to the airline for your tickets.
37:55Take them.
37:57You earn them.
37:58But the...
37:59The weekend's not even over yet.
38:02Please.
38:03I couldn't expect you to stay when the crap hits the fan.
38:06I mean, God knows you've been thrown up already.
38:10Yeah.
38:12So, uh...
38:13This is it.
38:14The engagement's off?
38:16Yeah.
38:17Yeah.
38:18The engagement's off.
38:24Um...
38:26Is there a train or something I should catch?
38:30Yeah.
38:31Um...
38:32You missed the 5.30, but I think there's an 11.30.
38:36One that's...
38:37That's better.
38:38I should probably wait to leave until after everyone's gone to bed.
38:41So...
38:42Thanks.
38:43Sure.
38:44Well...
38:45That was, uh...
38:46Fun.
38:47Right?
38:48Yeah.
38:49Good luck with, uh...
38:50Everything.
38:51Hope you find the spark in Mexico.
38:53Thanks.
38:54Uh...
38:55Uh...
38:56Uh...
38:57Uh...
38:58Uh...
38:59Uh...
39:00Uh...
39:01Uh...
39:02Uh...
39:03Uh...
39:04Uh...
39:05Uh...
39:06Uh...
39:08Uh...
39:09Uh...
39:10Uh...
39:22Uh...
39:27Uh...
39:28Hey, sis.
39:39Call you tomorrow.
39:43Joy, is that the waiter from the diner?
39:45Yep.
39:46Stu and I dated for a couple months before Mom set me up with the foot man.
39:50She thought Stu wasn't good enough, so she worked her magic.
39:55And the next thing I knew, Stu was out of the picture.
39:58And I was engaged to Pete the podiatrist.
40:01Is that why you haven't set a date?
40:04Don't get me wrong.
40:06Pete's a good man.
40:08A little weird.
40:09But good guy.
40:12I just don't love him.
40:16Not like I love Stu.
40:18What's really going on with you and Jason?
40:22Jason dumped me a week ago.
40:24So I hired an actor named David to play my fiancé for the weekend.
40:33You what?
40:35Wait.
40:36Wait.
40:38Okay.
40:38So where did Jason or David go?
40:43Left.
40:43Just...
40:44I don't know.
40:49It's left.
40:50It's...
40:50I don't know.
40:53Oh, wow.
40:54But you like him.
40:57David.
40:57You like David.
40:58I...
40:58What?
40:59I don't like David.
41:00I don't even know David.
41:01It's crazy.
41:02I like David.
41:04I'm sorry.
41:04Yes.
41:05There's something I have to tell you.
41:07About Jason.
41:09He dumped me.
41:11I am well aware of what's going on.
41:14You are?
41:14Yes.
41:15I saw him leaving last night.
41:17Oh.
41:17That's just part of it.
41:19That's not...
41:19Hillary Jean.
41:21I have to say this.
41:22Sweetheart.
41:23When are you going to get serious?
41:26You are not a spring chicken anymore.
41:2830 is in the rearview mirror.
41:30And you have nothing to show for it.
41:33No career.
41:34No direction.
41:35And now, I guess, no Jason.
41:37Guess again.
41:38I thought I'm sitting in his car.
41:40I thought I'd invite him in.
41:42Long story tell you later.
41:43They're still on.
41:44They're still on.
41:46Just so everyone knows, for the record,
41:48none of this is Hillary's fault.
41:50Oh, no.
41:51Okay.
41:52So, um, aren't you two going to kiss and make up?
41:55No, no, no.
41:56Come on.
41:57Come on.
41:59Okay.
42:18Should I call Father Macy?
42:21I don't know.
42:22I don't know.
42:23No, no, that's fine.
42:24Call.
42:25Call him.
42:25Call him.
42:28I gotta...
42:29I should go unpack.
42:34Told ya.
42:45Hey, we had a deal, right?
42:47So, is your ex or whatever, is she going to Mexico?
42:54Yep.
42:54Well, that's nice.
42:55You guys should have a good time.
42:57I don't know about me, but I'm sure she and Peggy will have a great time.
43:01What do you mean?
43:04She thought I was giving her the tickets.
43:06Oh.
43:07Ow.
43:08She was just using me.
43:09It's the story of my life.
43:11Always the get-back guy, never just the guy.
43:13You know, don't give her those tickets.
43:19Hi, Liz.
43:20So, do you have the tickets?
43:23Yeah, about that.
43:24Um, you know, when I told you about these tickets, I was kind of hoping that you and I would go and have a really nice day.
43:29Wait till Matt finds out that I'm going to Mexico.
43:33Right.
43:33Can we not talk about Matt, baby?
43:35Oh, my God.
43:36He's gonna be so pissed.
43:38Sweetie.
43:39Hi.
43:39Hi.
43:41Oh, I'm so sorry, Emily.
43:43I had to meet the caterers.
43:44I had to meet her dress fitting.
43:47I'm sorry.
43:48And you aren't.
43:50You aren't.
43:51Lindsay.
43:53Lindsay?
43:56Lindsay, David, told me all about you and Laya del Carmen.
43:59God, I guess I'm lucky he's not into party girls, huh?
44:03Did you send her an invite to our wedding?
44:05Wedding?
44:06You didn't send her an invite?
44:08It happened so fast, though.
44:10That's right.
44:11It was just boom, like that.
44:13Love at first sight.
44:14Isn't that right, too?
44:15Mm-hmm.
44:16Awesome.
44:17Mm-hmm.
44:18But can I just have the tickets, please?
44:19Mm-hmm.
44:20Please.
44:21David, that's actually why I'm here.
44:24I have to admit, when he first told me about your thing in Mexico, I was jealous.
44:28I was.
44:29In the heat of the moment, I told him to give the vouchers away, right?
44:32Because it's not like we're going to have a honeymoon where he met some girl.
44:35But then, I woke up this morning, and I was like, no.
44:40You know what?
44:40The past is the past.
44:41The heck with it.
44:42I mean, he's marrying me, not you.
44:44So I went online, I traded in the vouchers, and surprise!
44:48Honeymoon in Laya del Carmen!
44:49You did it!
44:49I did it!
44:50Ah!
44:50Oh, come here!
44:55Bye, Lindy!
44:55me
44:56me
44:57me
44:58me
44:59me
45:02me
45:13me
45:14Angels we have heard on high
45:23Sweetly singing on the plains
45:29Gloria
45:40In excelsis Deo
45:49Oh, that was wonderful.
46:02Honey, I haven't heard you sing for so long.
46:05And the two of you together, just beautiful.
46:08Just beautiful.
46:10Jason.
46:19Jason.
46:21What are you doing here?
46:23I wanted to see you.
46:25Who is it, honey?
46:28Oh.
46:30Mom.
46:31Dad.
46:34Everybody.
46:36This is Jason.
46:37Happy holidays, everybody.
46:46Mom.
46:47Mom.
46:47I'm sorry.
46:48I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't want to disappoint you.
46:50So you bring a total stranger into my house.
46:52I would never, ever have believed that you would be capable of doing something so despicable.
46:58What were you thinking?
47:00Peter and I are breaking up.
47:05Sorry, dude.
47:06No.
47:07Is there any chance you might still be a lawyer?
47:20No.
47:21Hillary, can we talk?
47:24I'm so sorry about David.
47:28I don't know.
47:28I think I might have lost my mind.
47:30I'm so confused.
47:31I don't know anything.
47:32I don't understand.
47:33You do?
47:35Because I don't...
47:37People do crazy things when their hearts have been broken.
47:40Besides,
47:41Arboring grudges is no way for us to start a future together.
47:44A future?
47:46You said I was a mistake.
47:49And I don't know if I want to move to Pittsburgh.
47:51There is no Pittsburgh.
47:54Sharpel gave the promotion to his idiot nephew.
47:57But,
47:58none of that matters anymore.
48:00Because now we can be together.
48:07David?
48:16What are you doing?
48:17Well, actually, I was just going to go talk to Hillary.
48:19I think that's a bad idea.
48:20In fact, I'm very surprised to see that you're still here.
48:24Weren't you the one that was paid to fill Jason's shoes?
48:27And now that Jason is here,
48:29I really don't think there's any reason for you to stay.
48:33Well, I...
48:33Don't.
48:34Don't hurt Hillary's chances.
48:35Okay.
48:38No, no, no.
48:39You know what?
48:40You may think that Jason is the perfect son-in-law,
48:43but he's not.
48:44He walked out on Hillary.
48:47She's the one who's perfect.
48:48She's kind.
48:49And she's beautiful.
48:50And she's a gifted writer.
48:52Have you ever even read one of her articles?
48:55She can talk to this whole thing
48:56just because she's terrified of disappointing you.
49:03All she wants is to keep you happy.
49:08And Meredith,
49:09I'm sorry that I deceived you.
49:12I truly am very sorry.
49:14And it's fine if you think that Jason will make her happy.
49:18But have you ever asked Hillary what will make her happy?
49:23Have you?
49:24Kiss me.
49:42What?
49:43Kiss me.
49:44I really have to get this done.
49:45Kiss me like...
49:46Like the future Mrs. King.
49:47Kiss me like you love me.
49:48Hillary,
49:49I really don't think your parents asked the place for this.
49:50You two love me, right?
49:56Go for King.
49:58Bill, it's gonna be fine.
49:59No.
50:00Gary will get him to me.
50:06I have a question.
50:08Does, um,
50:09Jason,
50:11the real Jason,
50:12not the fake Jason,
50:13does he have any other talents
50:16besides being a good lawyer?
50:18What do you mean?
50:19Can you rig a turkey?
50:21Maybe play a tune?
50:23Jason?
50:25I don't think so.
50:28What do you make you?
50:29Sing?
50:30Like you did earlier tonight?
50:35You know,
50:36I know it doesn't seem like it.
50:38But your mother really just wants you to be happy.
50:41Maybe it's time you
50:42told her what you want.
50:45If you know what you want.
50:47Mom?
50:48Oh, Hillary.
50:52I'm so sorry, honey.
50:55You sent all these beautiful articles,
50:57and
50:58I'm sorry,
51:00I didn't read them.
51:01You've always been a gifted writer.
51:03And,
51:03and all of those wonderful things
51:05that
51:06David yelled at me.
51:08Do you
51:09love
51:10Jason?
51:12Not,
51:12not,
51:13I mean,
51:13you know,
51:13the real Jason.
51:14Oh, I know you mean.
51:20No.
51:24I think I hate him.
51:27Me too.
51:31Do you love David?
51:36I do.
51:37I got to buy you a car.
51:58Thanks.
51:59I have four copies right.
52:04What?
52:06You say my car?
52:08Hillary,
52:09what?
52:09Where are you going?
52:11I call you a cab.
52:31I call you a cab.
52:31Hi.
52:39How did you?
52:41I borrowed Jason's car.
52:45You and Jason?
52:47Nope.
52:48Jason is a total jerk,
52:49you're right.
52:50And a big mistake.
52:52Huge mistake.
52:55Huge mistake.
52:57Okay.
52:59You're here now.
53:02You're here.
53:03Mm-hmm.
53:04Mm-hmm.
53:07What does that make me?
53:09Not a mistake.
53:10Not a mistake.
53:20You're here.
53:26What?
53:27What?
53:29What?
53:29How did you do?
53:31I guess I was a guy.
53:31I did.
53:32I didn't know the man.
53:37I did.
53:38I know.
53:39I did.
53:40I was a guy.
53:41I was a person.
53:42I did.
53:42That was a person.
53:43You were a person.
53:43I was a person.
53:44I'm a person.
53:45I was a person.
53:46And I was a person.
53:47And I was a person.
53:48I was a person.
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