00:00I want to pronounce your name like the way that your people say it.
00:13I knew when it was coming.
00:18I know in their minds, as they were reading it,
00:21they were like thinking to themselves like,
00:23oh, there's no way I'm going to be able to pronounce this correctly.
00:27Nguyen, Mr. Nijen, Mr. Nguyen.
00:30Oh, look, there's soybean.
00:31I've had Bianca, I've had Briyanka.
00:34I remember my eighth grade teacher calling me Hamas.
00:37Didn't really enjoy that very much.
00:44I wish that I could have a Lunchables at school every single day.
00:49Mom, make me Lunchables, make me Lunchables.
00:51And she'd be like, well, I am not a corporation
00:54that is going to feed you 3,000 milligrams of sodium.
00:58Here is a completely organic meal.
01:00And I would be like, that is crap.
01:03I want Doritos.
01:04Ugh, Nicole brought her smelly ethnic food again.
01:06Get it out of here.
01:07No problems on that front.
01:08I ate all the normal stuff.
01:10I did see other kind of Indian kids or Chinese kids bring their stuff,
01:15and I remember being like, that's weird.
01:17Those are non-existent.
01:22What is that?
01:23I don't really know what a sleepover is.
01:25Sleepovers for me were basically, um,
01:28you're going to go over to their family's house and sleep.
01:30Right.
01:31Everyone in their family is going to rape you.
01:33We just didn't talk about dating in general,
01:39because that's not a thing.
01:41There's no dating.
01:42You can't date.
01:43You can't date.
01:44You can't date.
01:45You can't date.
01:46You can't date.
01:47And then one magical day, when are you getting married?
01:48My mom was like, embrace your hoitude from a young age.
01:52There's like, meeting people.
01:55And then three days later, you're married.
01:57And I mean, implicitly, it was no dating white girls,
01:59no dating white girls, no dating white girls,
02:01no dating white girls, no dating white girls.
02:03When are you getting married?
02:07You have a house.
02:08Why would you, like, choose to sleep in the woods?
02:11Civilization left the woods behind, so why go back?
02:14Oh, camping was awesome.
02:16I had an engineer father.
02:18Like, we solar-fried hot dogs, halal hot dogs.
02:25Hello!
02:30Merci!
02:31Okay!
02:32Yeah, calling cards, white kids never really dealt with that,
02:35but it was definitely, it was like the ultimate stocking stuffer in our family.
02:39Okay, can you hear me?
02:42Bye.
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