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00:00:00Live from our studio in New York City,
00:00:09Another Cup with Liza Brown.
00:00:12And here she is.
00:00:16Welcome to Another Cup with Liza Brown.
00:00:30Our guest host this week is none other than lifestyle guru
00:00:43and author of Volume 1 through 12 of Joy to the World.
00:00:47Please welcome Joy Edwards.
00:01:00Great to have you, Joy.
00:01:12Oh, it's great to be here, Liza.
00:01:13You not only write about the perfect lifestyle, you live it.
00:01:18Are you a perfectionist?
00:01:20Absolutely not.
00:01:21As long as everything is exactly as it should be,
00:01:24I'm totally flexible.
00:01:25Speaking of perfect, your country home, Goose Lane.
00:01:36Oh, it's almost too good to be true.
00:01:43Unreal.
00:01:44Tell us about Christmas at Goose Lane.
00:01:46Well, for me, the holidays are all about family.
00:01:49We trim the tree, we hang the stocking,
00:01:52and, of course, those long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
00:01:57Your fans love you so much
00:01:59because we feel like we know you and your family.
00:02:03Tori and Tommy, they're 8 and 13 now.
00:02:06Where does the time go?
00:02:08Oh, your mom and dad.
00:02:10Will we ever get to meet them all?
00:02:12Ah, well, not if I'm going to continue selling books.
00:02:15No, they're as wonderful as you'd expect,
00:02:19but privacy is important to us.
00:02:21At least tell us your recipe for a happy marriage.
00:02:24I'm not sure there's a recipe for that,
00:02:27but I will say to all the ladies out there,
00:02:31no matter how long it takes, pick the right guy.
00:02:35Find the one that ruins your lipstick, not your mascara.
00:02:43You heard it from the source, folks.
00:02:45She writes about it.
00:02:47She lives it.
00:02:49Now let's see her cook it.
00:02:51Set the table and put it on a nice plate.
00:02:57Even bad food tastes better.
00:03:00Girl, I'm going to your house for Christmas.
00:03:02Well, I'll set an extra plate.
00:03:04If you're looking for a last-minute holiday gift,
00:03:07look no further than Joy to the World,
00:03:09Christmas at Goose Lane.
00:03:11We'll be back with more Joy Edwards
00:03:13after these messages.
00:03:14Santa's watching, so be nice and stay tuned.
00:03:18This is great.
00:03:26Your Insta is blowing up.
00:03:28Is the week over yet?
00:03:30It's Monday, Joy.
00:03:31Yeah, I don't know how I'm going to keep this up.
00:03:34Hey, are you kidding?
00:03:35You're a natural.
00:03:36Yeah, that's what scares me.
00:03:37Yeah, you know what scares me?
00:03:38Plummeting sails.
00:03:39I meant what I said, Josh.
00:03:41This is my last book.
00:03:43I need a life.
00:03:46Joy, sweetie,
00:03:48you have an SUV and a chauffeur
00:03:50waiting in the freezing cold to drive you home.
00:03:51Well, this is a life.
00:03:53One second, Eric.
00:03:53One second.
00:03:55I need a real life.
00:03:57Trust me.
00:03:58It's overrated.
00:04:09Miss Edwards.
00:04:18Hey, that was a cute accent.
00:04:21I thought it would spice things up a bit.
00:04:23Caught the show.
00:04:25You were brilliant as always.
00:04:27Oh, really?
00:04:28I was so nervous.
00:04:31Although you did steal my line
00:04:32about romantic walks to the fridge.
00:04:35Sorry.
00:04:36That's all good.
00:04:37I'll let you slide.
00:04:39Besides, now I can tell my patrons
00:04:40I've been quoted on TV.
00:04:42Um, a food show.
00:04:44I'll be that part now.
00:04:46So, jar two.
00:04:47Spicy burritos and iceberg shakes.
00:04:52Ice fire sauce.
00:04:53Chili fry.
00:04:53I had a dream last night.
00:04:56I had a dream last night.
00:05:11You were by my side.
00:05:13At that special time of year.
00:05:20I woke up to the snow.
00:05:23There were songs on the radio.
00:05:25I turned around and there you were, my dear.
00:05:30Thank you for doing this.
00:05:40It's so embarrassing.
00:05:43Hey, come on.
00:05:44Who hasn't used a fake chauffeur now and then?
00:05:47Well, tomorrow I'm taking an Uber.
00:05:50Yeah, Uber my dead body.
00:05:51Hey, come on.
00:05:53It's the least I can do.
00:05:55You didn't let me crash in your guest house
00:05:56since Thanksgiving.
00:05:58No, you can stay here as long as you like.
00:06:00Well, thank you.
00:06:01But like I said,
00:06:01I'll be out of your hair before the holidays.
00:06:04Holidays?
00:06:06What holidays?
00:06:07Oh, hold on.
00:06:14Ooh, redhead.
00:06:16That's new for you.
00:06:17Yeah, she works at the bakery.
00:06:19Went after coffee a few times.
00:06:20I was cordial.
00:06:23You know me.
00:06:24Huh?
00:06:24You are a cordial guy?
00:06:26Well, I think she misread my cordiality.
00:06:30Just another person who finds you irresistible.
00:06:34That's just you.
00:06:35Ha!
00:06:38Come on.
00:06:39You named your fake husband after me.
00:06:41Who is another Max?
00:06:42What other Max?
00:06:43Mad Max?
00:06:44No.
00:06:45Max Mercury?
00:06:46No.
00:06:46Max Schmeling?
00:06:48Who's Max Schmeling?
00:06:49Heavyweight champion of the world, 1930.
00:06:51Uh, it was another Max.
00:06:53Yeah.
00:06:56You had your chance.
00:06:58You remember that bad diner you used to work at?
00:07:00I remember you pretending to like the food.
00:07:02It took me four bowls of that stew to work up the courage to ask you out.
00:07:05You gave me heartburn and a broken heart.
00:07:08I did not break your heart.
00:07:10How do you know?
00:07:11You had a string of girls waiting in the wings, just like always.
00:07:15Yeah, but think of all the bad dates you would have spared me if you hadn't decided that
00:07:20we were just better off as friends.
00:07:23So the bad dates are my fault now?
00:07:25Yeah.
00:07:26Well, we are still friends.
00:07:30Oh, Goose Lane Friendship.
00:07:32Volume 17.
00:07:35See you in the morning.
00:07:36Yup.
00:07:38Max von Sydow.
00:07:40The old priest and exorcist.
00:07:42The old priest.
00:08:12Well, we tried.
00:08:39You're here.
00:08:39Come on.
00:08:40The old priest.
00:08:41No, you can see yourai.
00:08:41Oh, she's here.
00:08:42I was waiting.
00:08:44Amazing-
00:08:59Verbales.
00:09:00Oh, Marta.
00:09:29How many times are you going to do that?
00:09:31That never gets old.
00:09:34And why do I bother making your bed when you sleep down here every night?
00:09:37It's not every night, and I make my own bed.
00:09:41It is according to my count.
00:09:43Oh, well, stop counting and vacuuming.
00:09:46In fact, just take the day off.
00:09:48You gave me the day off yesterday, and you have a show tomorrow.
00:09:55Did you make coffee?
00:09:56It's your turn, and not so strong.
00:09:59Aren't you going to ask me if I saw the show?
00:10:05Because I did.
00:10:07Dodged another bullet if you ask me.
00:10:10Which I'm not.
00:10:11You can solve all your problems by putting a stop to this.
00:10:15Which I plan to, after Christmas.
00:10:18You said that last Christmas.
00:10:20Look, Mr. Merriman's really counting on this book.
00:10:24You said that last Christmas, too.
00:10:27Keep this up.
00:10:28You'll be alone for the rest of your life.
00:10:30I'm not alone.
00:10:31I have you.
00:10:32And Mr. Handsome out there in the guest house.
00:10:36He's a friend, Marta.
00:10:38Then what's he still doing here?
00:10:40I don't know.
00:10:41His loft has water damage.
00:10:43Whatever you say.
00:10:47And don't wear that red lipstick on camera.
00:10:49It's not your color.
00:10:50You need a little Christmas in this place.
00:11:00Oh, hey, Sabrina.
00:11:02Hi, Joy.
00:11:03Just delivering the wrapping paper you ordered.
00:11:0514 rolls.
00:11:05Wow, I thought I ordered two.
00:11:09Not according to my records.
00:11:11That's $146, including tax.
00:11:13PayPal, Venmo, or Zelle.
00:11:16Yeah, come on in.
00:11:19Wait, aren't you supposed to be at school?
00:11:21It's winter break.
00:11:22Right.
00:11:23Okay, so you said, uh, $140?
00:11:28$146, including tax.
00:11:30Right.
00:11:31My parents are spending the holidays with some very important clients in Aspen.
00:11:35Oh, are you leaving you guys alone?
00:11:37No, our nanny's here.
00:11:39She lets us do whatever we want.
00:11:41Oh, and I have a new Christmas demo.
00:11:43I really had the high notes this year.
00:11:45I'll airdrop you.
00:11:46Okay, great.
00:11:47I can't wait to hear it.
00:11:48Sure, good.
00:11:56Aggressive.
00:11:57Oh, yeah.
00:11:58She tried to sell me a $30 glass of lemonade last summer.
00:12:03Whoa!
00:12:04Ow!
00:12:05Uh, what now?
00:12:08You know.
00:12:12Oh, come on!
00:12:14You knocked over my reindeer!
00:12:16Watch this, dude.
00:12:17But, no.
00:12:19What did I tell you about skateboarding in my yard, Henry?
00:12:22I don't go by Henry anymore.
00:12:24It's Hawk now.
00:12:25Oh.
00:12:26Okay, Hawk.
00:12:27Well, fly off, or I'm going to call your parents.
00:12:31No, you're not.
00:12:32You said that last time.
00:12:34Uh, could you help me with the reindeer, maybe?
00:12:36Flying away like you told me to.
00:12:40Come on.
00:12:42It's open.
00:12:55Morning.
00:12:55Morning.
00:12:56Morning.
00:13:00Oh, Max, I love it.
00:13:03You notice the gooses?
00:13:04I think it's geeses.
00:13:06Well, these geeses are going above your fireplace.
00:13:09Oh, come on.
00:13:11I couldn't.
00:13:13Consider it an early Christmas present.
00:13:16I got to find a new bakery.
00:13:24Wouldn't it be just more cordial to message her back?
00:13:27I have.
00:13:29I just wanted a cup of coffee.
00:13:31And it wasn't even coffee.
00:13:32It was decaf.
00:13:34Anyway, you ready to roll?
00:13:37Hey, you heard from the Frankie Vinnie gallery.
00:13:39Standard form rejection letter.
00:13:42Oh, I'm sorry.
00:13:43It's their loss.
00:13:44I'm pretty sure it's mine.
00:13:45They're the second-best gallery in the city.
00:13:48Yeah, but we're not going to settle for second.
00:13:50You're going to get the best.
00:13:52Whoa.
00:13:54All right.
00:13:59Best, huh?
00:14:06Good morning, Freddy.
00:14:08Good morning, Joy.
00:14:10Just some bills.
00:14:11I'm sorry.
00:14:12I'm, uh, I'm glad I caught you before the holiday.
00:14:16Oh.
00:14:19Oh, wow.
00:14:21A cup of coffee for me?
00:14:22Yes, for you.
00:14:23Oh, wow.
00:14:28And for you, dear sir.
00:14:31Oh, joy.
00:14:36You're welcome.
00:14:38Big plans for Christmas?
00:14:39Uh, no.
00:14:41The usual.
00:14:42You having, um, dinner with your son?
00:14:45I'm by myself this year.
00:14:47He, uh, took a job in California.
00:14:499-4-1-2-3.
00:14:51Ah.
00:14:52Thanks for this.
00:14:55You deserve it.
00:14:56Okay.
00:14:57See ya.
00:15:03See ya.
00:15:03See ya.
00:15:03See ya.
00:15:05See ya.
00:15:07See ya.
00:15:09See ya.
00:15:11See ya.
00:15:13See ya.
00:15:15See ya.
00:15:17See ya.
00:15:19See ya.
00:15:21See ya.
00:15:22See ya.
00:15:23See ya.
00:15:25See ya.
00:15:27Above all, cooking should be fun.
00:15:52Gingerbread open house, made by my daughter Tori.
00:15:59I think real estate's in her future.
00:16:02You see this castle? Designed by her brother Tommy.
00:16:06You see the moat? It's going through a privacy phase.
00:16:10And don't forget, when you sit down to Christmas dinner, try everything.
00:16:15You don't want to look back and think, oh, I could have eaten that.
00:16:19We'll be back with more Joy Edwards after these messages.
00:16:26This has been the longest week ever.
00:16:32Tell me it's Friday. Tell me it's not still Thursday.
00:16:36Merriman's here.
00:16:38What? Joy!
00:16:40Mr. Merriman!
00:16:43Oh, how wonderful to see you. It's been too long.
00:16:46Not that long. Volume 11, Goose Lane Easter.
00:16:50Many meals ago.
00:16:52You know I've always thought of you as the daughter I never had.
00:16:55Thank you. That means so much to me.
00:16:58And I don't need to tell you, sales have been a little disappointing.
00:17:02But I'm happy to report they've been up considerably since you've been on the air.
00:17:08That's great.
00:17:10Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you.
00:17:14I think it might be time to end the book series.
00:17:18Well, I had a feeling this was coming.
00:17:21And in anticipation of the inevitable, Merriman Publishing has made special plans to promote this book.
00:17:28If this is going to be your last, we're going out without banging.
00:17:33Just thank you for always supporting me.
00:17:37I know.
00:17:39I imagine it's time for you to start a new chapter.
00:17:42And spend more time with your family, no doubt.
00:17:48Uh, I'll save you a piece of gingerbread.
00:17:52Go. Break a leg.
00:17:55Okay, thank you.
00:17:58Good. Ten seconds, people.
00:18:01So don't break mine.
00:18:04It's been great having you here this week, Joy.
00:18:07Has it been a week already?
00:18:09Yes, I'm afraid so.
00:18:11But before we go, I have a surprise for our audience.
00:18:16We're all going to Goose Lane for Christmas!
00:18:23What?
00:18:24Yes, that's right.
00:18:25Joy will be broadcasting live from her country home on Christmas Eve.
00:18:29Our cameras will join Max, the kids, and of course Joy's parents,
00:18:34the entire Edwards family for their traditional Christmas Eve dinner with all the trimmings.
00:18:41Joy.
00:18:42Any last words before we sign off?
00:18:45My goose is cooked.
00:18:47Goose Lane.
00:18:48And uh...
00:18:50Good.
00:18:51ONG
00:18:52Josh!
00:18:53Josh!
00:18:54Yea?
00:18:55Yeah.
00:18:56What have you done?
00:18:57It was Merriman's idea.
00:18:58He was very consistent.
00:18:59Oh there's a little star, that was so good.
00:19:02You are natural.
00:19:04I will see you soon OK?
00:19:05Okay.
00:19:06This is a nightmare.
00:19:08Or an opportunity.
00:19:11Remember when you came to me with that cute little family cookbook?
00:19:14Completely unmarketable.
00:19:16Why?
00:19:17Because you didn't have a family.
00:19:18I made you into a brand.
00:19:19You turned me into a liar.
00:19:21You did go along with it.
00:19:22But I didn't think it would get this far.
00:19:25Was Colonel Sanders really a colonel?
00:19:26No.
00:19:27He was a businessman.
00:19:28Was Mrs. Fields married to Mr. Fields?
00:19:30News flashed their divorce, but that would sell way less cookies.
00:19:33Dr. Seuss, number one children's author of all time.
00:19:35He wasn't even a doctor, and he didn't have any kids.
00:19:38Which is why we don't go to their house for fried chicken and bedtime stories.
00:19:44Oh, God.
00:19:46Please fix this.
00:19:48I can't.
00:19:49Christmas Eve is in three days.
00:19:51That's 72 hours.
00:19:54You'll think of something.
00:19:56You are Joy Edwards.
00:20:05Oh, no.
00:20:20It's open.
00:20:23Hey.
00:20:26Hey.
00:20:26I found nutcrackers.
00:20:33Ice cream.
00:20:35Please.
00:20:36I was just thinking about when I first saw this place.
00:20:44Half a roof.
00:20:46Broken windows.
00:20:47Peeling paint.
00:20:49A family of geese on an overgrown lawn.
00:20:52And I knew this was it.
00:20:56This was going to be the place I called home.
00:20:58A real home.
00:20:59Now I guess I have to move to another planet.
00:21:05Whatever happens, you'll be through it.
00:21:09Maybe I should just call Mr. Merryman and get this over with.
00:21:13But you know he thinks of me as a daughter.
00:21:16Children disappoint their parents all the time.
00:21:18Oh, he's going to be crushed.
00:21:21And the publishing house.
00:21:23I mean, Christmas is all about book sales.
00:21:29Let's not forget about the birth of Jesus.
00:21:31No.
00:21:33I'm a horrible person.
00:21:35You're not.
00:21:36I invented a husband and kids and a chicken coop to sell Christmas books.
00:21:43Like, I don't even have a Christmas tree.
00:21:48Too bad you made me your driver.
00:21:51I could have made me your husband.
00:21:53What did you just say?
00:21:58Too bad you made me your driver.
00:22:00No, after that.
00:22:02You could have made me your husband.
00:22:05That could work.
00:22:07What?
00:22:08Nobody saw your face.
00:22:10You had a hat on and sunglasses.
00:22:13That's it.
00:22:15Man, I just have to get through one dinner.
00:22:17Like, a couple hours.
00:22:18There's turkey, pie, and they're out the door.
00:22:20Then I can bow out gracefully.
00:22:21Mr. Merriman won't be mad at me.
00:22:23And then...
00:22:26It would just be like assembling a gingerbread house with little people inside.
00:22:31Joy, now you're starting to worry me.
00:22:34I'm going to put together a perfect family.
00:22:36Mom, dad, kids, adoring husband.
00:22:39I mean, who wouldn't want to spend Christmas Eve pretending to be a fake family on TV?
00:22:43Uh, people with real lives.
00:22:45Opening presents with Tommy and Tori.
00:22:48Mom and dad sipping eggnog by a roaring fireplace.
00:22:51Your fireplace doesn't work.
00:22:52I can borrow chickens, kids.
00:22:54Kids.
00:22:55Kids.
00:22:55How do I get kids?
00:22:58Oh, I'll hire actors.
00:23:00Oh, wait.
00:23:00But what if I hire a mother who goes on to star in a movie as someone else's mother?
00:23:05Yes, because that's highly likely.
00:23:06No, it's just it's got to be somebody I can trust or have something over.
00:23:14What do you have on me?
00:23:15Just tell me you'll do it.
00:23:18Be my husband.
00:23:19Is this a proposal?
00:23:21Because if it is, it needs work.
00:23:22Come on.
00:23:23You already have the name.
00:23:25Yeah.
00:23:25What about all the other Maxes?
00:23:26Nobody knows me like you do.
00:23:29You're the only person in the world who really gets me.
00:23:32Do we need a prenup?
00:23:33I don't if you don't.
00:23:34Can we kiss on camera?
00:23:36I suppose.
00:23:37Can we practice now?
00:23:38Let's just wing it.
00:23:41Okay.
00:23:42I'm in.
00:23:43Really?
00:23:44Yes, I will marry you and stay married to you till dessert do us part.
00:23:50Mr. Joy Edwards, you just made me the happiest woman on earth.
00:23:55You're welcome.
00:23:56Mr. Joy Edwards, you're welcome.
00:24:26Good morning, Marta.
00:24:36You made coffee.
00:24:37It was my day.
00:24:41Too strong.
00:24:43Again.
00:24:44Do you have a minute?
00:24:45We have a situation.
00:24:51You have a situation.
00:24:52I saw it.
00:24:54All of this phony baloney stuff.
00:24:56I knew it would catch up with you.
00:24:57I appreciate your concern, but I think we can get through this.
00:25:01Again, no we.
00:25:05What are you doing on Christmas Eve?
00:25:07My brother and his wife are having a party.
00:25:08My brother and his wife are having a party.
00:25:10You don't like your brother.
00:25:12Because he's a mooch.
00:25:13And his wife is a social climber.
00:25:15But they have an indoor pool.
00:25:16I have a better offer.
00:25:18I'm listening.
00:25:20It might not seem better at first.
00:25:22It's more of a favor.
00:25:25I want you to be my mother.
00:25:26What?
00:25:28For the show.
00:25:30One night.
00:25:30Not even a night.
00:25:32A dinner.
00:25:33Now who's going to believe I'm old enough to be your mother?
00:25:37You had me when you were very young.
00:25:41And if I do this, what's in it for me?
00:25:45A raise.
00:25:48A raise won't be necessary.
00:25:49Because I'd like to retire.
00:25:54Oh.
00:25:56Yeah, of course.
00:25:57Um, yeah, if that's what you want.
00:25:59With a generous holiday bonus and a retirement package for my years of devoted service.
00:26:04I wouldn't have it any other way.
00:26:09Let's put it in writing.
00:26:12After all these years, you don't trust me?
00:26:15I don't trust anyone.
00:26:16But we're practically family.
00:26:18In that case, you can do the dishes.
00:26:31Henry!
00:26:33It's Hawk.
00:26:34Is that the name on your driver's license?
00:26:36Is that the name on your driver's license?
00:26:38I didn't know they were giving those out to 15-year-olds.
00:26:41Your dad must be so proud and so generous of him to be letting you drive his car while
00:26:48he's out of town.
00:26:49Oh.
00:26:50Aspen, isn't it?
00:26:52Look, I'm sorry for knocking over your Christmas display.
00:26:55And I'll stop skateboarding in your yard.
00:26:58If you cut me some slack, I will shovel your driveway for the rest of the winter.
00:27:03Hmm.
00:27:04Did your nanny put you up to this?
00:27:08Yeah.
00:27:08Mm-hmm.
00:27:09That won't be necessary.
00:27:14That is so chill.
00:27:15I swear, you'll never see me again.
00:27:17Oh, no, no, no.
00:27:18Not so fast.
00:27:19In an hour, bring your sister.
00:27:23All right, let's just cut to the chase.
00:27:25I am hosting a live TV special here on Christmas Eve, and I need you to pose as my family.
00:27:31I'm going to be on TV.
00:27:33Well, it's the home cooking channel.
00:27:35Recurring or guest shop?
00:27:36Just one night.
00:27:37But it can turn into more, like a spinoff?
00:27:39Why aren't you using your real family?
00:27:41You're on a need-to-know basis, kid.
00:27:43It's okay.
00:27:45The truth is, I don't have one.
00:27:47You're pulling a con job?
00:27:49Cool.
00:27:51What?
00:27:52We're all thinking in.
00:27:53I was raised in foster homes.
00:27:56A lot of them.
00:27:57I've basically been on my own ever since.
00:28:00I'm so sorry, Joy.
00:28:02Oh, no, it was a long time ago.
00:28:04I thought I'd have a family.
00:28:06I wanted a family.
00:28:07And then there was a book, and then there was another book, and another book, and...
00:28:11And now you're caught?
00:28:12Just like you, driving without a license.
00:28:15You took Dad's car again?
00:28:16I'm telling.
00:28:17Go ahead.
00:28:18You were Mom's makeup.
00:28:19Hey, there is no fighting at the Edwards house.
00:28:22Dude, you really haven't been around a real family.
00:28:25It's not dude.
00:28:27It's Mom.
00:28:28Question?
00:28:29Who's our dad?
00:28:31Me and the old ball and chain here.
00:28:33I mean your lovely mother.
00:28:36We've got to run down some deets, so listen up.
00:28:38Sabrina, you will be our adorable daughter, Tori.
00:28:43I could work with that.
00:28:44And you will be our thoughtful son, Tommy.
00:28:47Tommy.
00:28:48Can't I get a cooler name?
00:28:49No.
00:28:49And you're 13, so you'd better shave.
00:28:5113?
00:28:54Mom, you taught me my first recipe.
00:28:58And Dad, you put up with Mom.
00:29:01What's our relationship like?
00:29:03Strained.
00:29:05Just like my first marriage.
00:29:07I'm not surprised.
00:29:09This is starting to sound like a real family.
00:29:11Yeah.
00:29:11I remember the first time we met.
00:29:15We're 19 years old.
00:29:17It was a lot of first sight.
00:29:19Well, for her, anyway.
00:29:20It took me a little longer.
00:29:22We eloped to Maui.
00:29:25Got it right there on the beach.
00:29:27Sorry, Mom, Dad.
00:29:28You were there in spirit.
00:29:28I would have liked to have been invited.
00:29:31But you saved us from shutting out for the wedding.
00:29:35Huh.
00:29:36My wife and I may bicker from time to time, but that's only because we love each other so much.
00:29:42Oh, and, uh, we're the kind of couple that can't keep our hands off each other.
00:29:49Gross.
00:29:49Uh, okay.
00:29:52And you are going to learn the highlighted sections with your names because we got three days to make this right.
00:30:04Oh, and, uh, we're going to learn the highlights.
00:30:34You have a visitor.
00:30:46Who is it?
00:30:49Josh.
00:30:50Okay, well, it took some convincing, and if I'm being completely honest, some money and a free air fryer, but my family is yours for the holiday.
00:30:58What?
00:30:59Now, my brother is single and a bit socially awkward, but he agreed to be her husband as long as he has to talk.
00:31:03Josh.
00:31:03Don't need to thank me.
00:31:04A few caveats.
00:31:06Uh, my mom could be a bit critical, and dad suffers from dysphagia, so.
00:31:10Josh, I've got this.
00:31:12You do?
00:31:12She does.
00:31:13I do.
00:31:15Okay.
00:31:16Whew.
00:31:17Because my family's frigging nuts.
00:31:19Yes.
00:31:21Oh, no.
00:31:23That means I get them for Christmas Eve.
00:31:25Happy holidays, Josh.
00:31:27Please take them.
00:31:28I'll give you an air fryer.
00:31:29I'll give you an air fryer.
00:31:34I've decided against renting chickens, but I definitely am going to need brown eggs from Rhode Island Reds.
00:31:40What about red eggs from Rhode Island Browns?
00:31:42I need to clean out the coop.
00:31:44I need to get a dining room table.
00:31:46I need to get kids' bedroom sets.
00:31:48I need to get dollhouses and footballs.
00:31:52Oh, my God.
00:31:52How am I going to fill an entire house in a few days?
00:31:56You don't need to fill the entire house with the living room.
00:31:58Clothes all fill the whole house like a crime scene.
00:32:01No.
00:32:02Hmm.
00:32:02This is why I fake married you.
00:32:05Love ain't a grand.
00:32:07Soil, pots, winter vegetables, flowers, stocking stuffers.
00:32:11Stocking stuffers.
00:32:12Yeah, unfortunately, we have to make them unless we buy pre-made gifts that look like they were handmade.
00:32:21What am I getting?
00:32:23Needlepoint.
00:32:23Oh.
00:32:24I found these old pictures of us.
00:32:33How'd we look?
00:32:34Yeah.
00:32:35Hmm.
00:32:35Do you remember we went to that Christmas party and you were wearing a velvet suit?
00:32:41Yeah.
00:32:42Yeah, you had the big hair and that black dress.
00:32:45We spent the whole night in that old arcade playing Miss Pac-Man.
00:32:50Whatever happened to Miss Pac-Man?
00:32:52Oh, well, I mean, she got married.
00:32:55To Mr. Pac-Man.
00:32:56One can only hope.
00:32:58To Mr. and Mrs. Pac-Man.
00:33:00Oh, I forgot.
00:33:07I have something for you.
00:33:10You shouldn't have.
00:33:12I didn't.
00:33:12It's an old earring hoop.
00:33:15It may turn your finger green, so don't get it wet.
00:33:18I didn't.
00:33:19I didn't.
00:33:29You think it's big enough?
00:33:33It's tradition.
00:33:34The Edwards family always gets a ten-foot tree.
00:33:37A live ten-foot tree that they plant in the yard after New Year's.
00:33:44Oh, I forgot wreaths.
00:33:47Go ahead.
00:33:47I got this.
00:33:53Max?
00:33:54Hey there, uh, you?
00:33:59I've been messaging.
00:34:00Yeah, you have.
00:34:01Um, so I'm sorry.
00:34:04I've just been really busy, so.
00:34:05I thought we had a connection.
00:34:07Yeah.
00:34:08Look, you were really sweet.
00:34:10Oh, my God.
00:34:11Is that a wedding ring?
00:34:13No.
00:34:14Well, I mean, yes, but it's really just a new ring.
00:34:16What, you would just take it off before you came to the bakery?
00:34:18Uh, no, it's complicated.
00:34:22You're unbelievable.
00:34:30Should I ask?
00:34:31Rather you didn't.
00:34:32Do these look homemade to you?
00:34:36And I was thinking we bring in the table from outside for dinner.
00:34:42You mean that rotted ping-pong table?
00:34:44Oh, which will be covered with a festive tablecloth from the Joy Edwards Holiday Collection.
00:34:51Chairs.
00:34:53Drape the lawn furniture and give the room a neoclassical boho Christmas feel.
00:35:04You're really good at this.
00:35:08Let's get some takeout.
00:35:10Nope.
00:35:11I'm cooking.
00:35:14Oh, yeah.
00:35:19Can I ask you something?
00:35:21Anything.
00:35:22Back in the city, you go out a lot.
00:35:26I've had my share of first dates.
00:35:29And second dates?
00:35:30Still looking for that second date, girl.
00:35:33But how can you tell in just one date?
00:35:35I can tell in the first ten seconds if it's right or not.
00:35:37Ten seconds?
00:35:38Yeah.
00:35:39Look, I don't want to waste anyone's time anymore.
00:35:42When you know, you know.
00:35:46Don't look at me.
00:35:48I'm married and raising kids.
00:35:50Excuses, excuses.
00:35:58Are they...
00:35:59excuses?
00:36:04What do you mean?
00:36:04Maybe there's a possibility that you went along with this fake family thing to avoid having a real one.
00:36:13No.
00:36:14It was to sell books.
00:36:16What did you think would happen?
00:36:17I didn't think anything would happen.
00:36:19I didn't think I'd sell any.
00:36:21I mean, even before the books, though.
00:36:22You were always too busy working.
00:36:26Fame is a joy.
00:36:28Friends on guard.
00:36:32I'm sorry.
00:36:33I don't know what I'm talking about.
00:36:36No, you're right.
00:36:38In my experience, every time I let myself get close to somebody, they just get taken away.
00:36:44Let me get this straight.
00:36:45You only have relationships with people you don't feel anything for.
00:36:54They can't hurt me.
00:36:59Not everybody can be as lucky as Mr. and Ms. Pac-Man.
00:37:12Joy.
00:37:13Joy.
00:37:15I just, um, what I wanted to say was, I wanted to tell you that, uh, I really
00:37:42tell him you're having dinner with your husband.
00:37:52Tell me you're calling to say that the show's been canceled.
00:37:57Nope.
00:37:58I'm calling to tell you that Merriman's coming to Goose Lane tomorrow night.
00:38:01What?
00:38:02Why?
00:38:03He wants to make sure everything's on track with you and the family.
00:38:06It is, isn't it?
00:38:07Uh, I'd call it more of a winding road.
00:38:11Get it on track.
00:38:13You can do this.
00:38:15Joy Edwards.
00:38:16Oh, God.
00:38:17I'm really starting to hate Joy Edwards.
00:38:20Okay, what were you saying?
00:38:27Doesn't matter.
00:38:30Okay, well, I'll go rinse these.
00:38:34What about dessert?
00:38:35There'll be dessert tomorrow.
00:38:39I'm really starting to hate Joy Edwards, too.
00:38:42Oh, you brought coffee on my day?
00:38:50I made it for myself.
00:38:52It was extra.
00:38:55Since when do you sew?
00:38:58Martza, you know I do.
00:39:00It's been so long, it must have slipped my mind.
00:39:02Good morning.
00:39:03Good morning.
00:39:04I brought some extra Christmas decorations for you.
00:39:07You sure your parents won't mind?
00:39:09They're not back until New Year's.
00:39:11Anybody home?
00:39:12Up here.
00:39:14Hey, why is this place called Goose Lane?
00:39:16I've never seen a goose around here.
00:39:18Well, when I first bought the place, there was a whole family.
00:39:23Then when I started the renovations, they flew away.
00:39:25And I thought when the house was ready, they'd come back, but they never did.
00:39:31Grandpa's here.
00:39:31Hi, Grandpa.
00:39:34You guys, thank you so much for doing this.
00:39:38I know that decorating for Christmas goes way beyond the scope of family.
00:39:42Actually, it is what families do.
00:39:46Not ours.
00:39:47We used to.
00:39:49Now they hire people.
00:39:54Well, the Edwards do it differently.
00:39:58Let's do this.
00:39:59What am I doing?
00:40:01You are doing great.
00:40:03You are a natural, dear.
00:40:08Oh, thank you.
00:40:11I'm going to go get the others.
00:40:11All right.
00:40:20Boom.
00:40:26You might as well try it.
00:40:34Yes!
00:40:34Okay.
00:40:35Perfect.
00:40:35Here.
00:40:35Okay.
00:40:49Perfect.
00:40:51Here.
00:40:52All right.
00:40:54Does this look homemade to you?
00:40:57I guess.
00:40:58What's this?
00:40:58What's this?
00:41:03Uh, a cell phone holder, I think.
00:41:06Or a golf tee holder.
00:41:09In your books, you make all the stocking stuffers.
00:41:12Yeah.
00:41:12That was before.
00:41:14Before you became really important?
00:41:15Uh, well, here's the thing, Sabrina.
00:41:19Tori, I'm in character.
00:41:21Right.
00:41:23Sometimes when you're creating yourself, you might lose a little of yourself, too.
00:41:28Well, I'm going to be just like you.
00:41:32Pretty sure you can find a better role model.
00:41:34Oh, do you want to see the pictures?
00:41:36Yes.
00:41:42Oh, come on.
00:41:46You might want to put this one up front.
00:41:48It's my headshot.
00:41:53You look so grown up.
00:41:57You don't want to grow up too fast, though.
00:41:59Hey, have you ever made pinecone napkin holders?
00:42:06You're in for a treat.
00:42:11All right.
00:42:14So what does she have on you?
00:42:16What do you mean?
00:42:18She's got dirt on you, right?
00:42:20No dirt.
00:42:22Then why are you doing this?
00:42:25Sometimes you do things for people.
00:42:27Ah, I get it.
00:42:32There's nothing to get.
00:42:34There isn't, dude.
00:42:35We're friends.
00:42:37Gotcha.
00:42:38Friends.
00:42:39Yeah, what do you know?
00:42:40You're 13.
00:42:4115.
00:42:42Yeah, well, you stay in your lane.
00:42:45If my math is correct, I've delivered to his mail over 1,800 times.
00:42:52And I've cleaned this house for six years.
00:42:54Minus weekends and days off, plus Wednesdays and Fridays when it's Joy's turn.
00:42:59You get Wednesdays, Fridays, and weekends off.
00:43:01I'm in the wrong business.
00:43:03Feel free to take my place.
00:43:04I'm retiring.
00:43:06Really?
00:43:07Mm-hmm.
00:43:07Right after Christmas dinner.
00:43:08And I am not doing the dishes either.
00:43:11Although I rarely do.
00:43:12That's Joy's job.
00:43:12I've thought of retiring.
00:43:14I just don't know what I'd do with myself.
00:43:16Well, I'm moving someplace warm.
00:43:19Oh, if I might make a suggestion.
00:43:23Uh, 33195.
00:43:2585701.
00:43:27And, uh, 92234.
00:43:31What are those?
00:43:33Zip codes.
00:43:34Miami, Tucson, Palm Springs.
00:43:38All right.
00:43:39Whoever collects the most pine cones in 30 seconds wins.
00:43:42One, two, three, go!
00:43:46You know, when I first started, she did everything herself.
00:43:51The gardening, the chickens, the decorating.
00:43:55And she cooked like a dream.
00:43:58Why'd she stop?
00:43:59No one to cook for.
00:44:00Or, you can't exactly have people over under the circumstances.
00:44:05Yeah, well, things in our life, if we have our nothing, if we have no one to share them with.
00:44:15Do you have someone?
00:44:20I used to.
00:44:24I did, too.
00:44:30Hey, I just realized, we're actually getting along.
00:44:45Yeah.
00:44:46Do you think we're gonna be friends one day?
00:44:48Maybe in, like, 20 years.
00:44:51Maybe I won't tell Dad you drove his car.
00:44:54Thanks.
00:44:55But he can still check the odometer.
00:44:57I only went around the block.
00:44:59No, you didn't.
00:45:00You went by Glenna Green's house three times.
00:45:02Did not.
00:45:03Yes, you did.
00:45:04Her little brother saw you.
00:45:05Well, he's wrong.
00:45:09Do you think Max and Jory are just friends?
00:45:12Are you kidding?
00:45:12The dude's, like, totally in love with her.
00:45:14You see the way he looks at her when he thinks she's not looking?
00:45:16That's how you know.
00:45:18Interesting.
00:45:19I thought I saw her look at him like that, but then she just pretended she was knitting.
00:45:23Old people are weird.
00:45:24If I liked a girl, I'd just tell her.
00:45:26That's not true.
00:45:27You like Glenna Green and you barely talk to her.
00:45:30I don't like her.
00:45:33Yes, you do.
00:45:34You wrote her name in your notebook with a heart.
00:45:37So now you're snooping in my room?
00:45:38Now?
00:45:39I've been doing it since I was three.
00:45:41Got another one.
00:46:09I think we need more.
00:46:11We don't want to look like cheapskates.
00:46:13On the other hand, we don't want to look like the kind of parents that spoil our kids.
00:46:16No.
00:46:17We would never spoil our kids.
00:46:19It's true.
00:46:20So what?
00:46:20Five more boxes?
00:46:21Ten more.
00:46:24Big ones.
00:46:26Super close.
00:46:27Like huddled together.
00:46:28It's super, super close.
00:46:30Yes.
00:46:30Yes.
00:46:30Yes.
00:46:31Yes.
00:46:31Yes.
00:46:34Here we go.
00:46:37Okay, I got it.
00:46:37Get down.
00:46:38Get down.
00:46:38I can't see you.
00:46:39I can't see you.
00:46:40Grandpa, get closer to Grandma.
00:46:42Now listen, you guys.
00:46:42I know what I'm doing here, okay?
00:46:44I want the kids in the floor.
00:46:45Do it, I'll do it.
00:46:47Hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:46:48Okay.
00:46:49Okay.
00:46:50All right, all right.
00:46:51So we get up front.
00:46:52All right, guys.
00:46:53Five seconds.
00:46:54Okay.
00:46:54Okay.
00:46:55Okay.
00:46:55Okay.
00:46:56Okay.
00:46:56Five, four, three, two, one.
00:47:01Merry Christmas!
00:47:05That was so lovely.
00:47:09Right?
00:47:10Yes.
00:47:15Hey, Hawk.
00:47:17What's on your shirt?
00:47:21Dude.
00:47:22Dude, it's fun.
00:47:23Hey, hey, hey.
00:47:25Uh-oh.
00:47:40Come around and say that it is almost nearly Christmas.
00:47:45When we're together, together at Christmastime, there's something better.
00:47:55Everything's been so right.
00:47:58When we're together, together at Christmastime, there's something better.
00:48:06Oh, yeah.
00:48:07Oh, yeah.
00:48:08We'll leave my mind together at Christmastime.
00:48:14Oh, bring the Christmastime to the red door.
00:48:20Make sure it's not in choice of life.
00:48:24Oh, my God.
00:48:38Mr. Merriman is here.
00:48:40Mr. Merriman.
00:48:42Hi.
00:48:44Hi, Mr. Merriman.
00:48:46So this is Goose Lane, huh?
00:48:47I'm surprised I've never been here.
00:48:50I wasn't expecting you this early.
00:48:53Nah, I should have called.
00:48:55The good news is, you're featured in the Times food section tomorrow.
00:49:00Wow.
00:49:01Mm-hmm.
00:49:02So this must be Mr. Edwards?
00:49:05Ah, call me Max.
00:49:06Nobody calls me Mr. Edwards.
00:49:08Literally.
00:49:09Will you excuse me for a minute?
00:49:17I'm gonna...
00:49:18Yeah.
00:49:19Hey!
00:49:21Look, I apologize.
00:49:23They're not usually like this.
00:49:26They remind me of my own family.
00:49:28My kids are grown now, but I wouldn't miss those times for anything.
00:49:32Now, I know that I sprung this show on you, but I think you're gonna do just fine.
00:49:42Well, I've seen all I need to.
00:49:45Are you sure you don't want to come in?
00:49:47No, my driver's out front.
00:49:48I only have today to find my wife the perfect gift.
00:49:51If I might offer some advice.
00:49:54There is a crack in everything, Joy.
00:49:57That's how the light gets in.
00:50:01Merry Christmas.
00:50:02Merry Christmas.
00:50:28Hey.
00:50:29Were you up all night?
00:50:30I saw the lights on.
00:50:31I brought you some...
00:50:36What's this?
00:50:39Your gallery.
00:50:41You mean the Mr. Joy Edwards gallery?
00:50:45By appointment only, soon to be seen by a TV audience.
00:50:49A cooking show audience.
00:50:50A hungry audience.
00:50:55I should be thanking you.
00:50:56Okay.
00:50:56Okay.
00:51:01You two are gonna have excellent on-screen chemistry.
00:51:13Uh, Max, you should pick up the desserts because the bakery closes early on the holiday.
00:51:19Bakery by the tree lot.
00:51:20Bakery by the tree lot.
00:51:21Oh.
00:51:22Don't worry.
00:51:24I got it.
00:51:25Can I drive?
00:51:26I have my permit.
00:51:27Show it to me.
00:51:28Show it to me.
00:51:29You ever drive before?
00:51:36Whatever his parents are out of town.
00:51:38I'm good.
00:51:39They just never let me.
00:51:41Let's go, kid.
00:51:42Let's go.
00:51:43Let's go.
00:51:48Create some recipes and start some traditions.
00:51:51You'll find your meals and your life improving.
00:51:53Who said that?
00:51:54You did.
00:51:55Volume one.
00:51:56Wow.
00:51:57You memorized that?
00:51:59You know, you're like the only person who isn't being paid to be with me.
00:52:04Oh, that can't be true.
00:52:05My parents are always with clients.
00:52:07They FaceTime me every morning to tell me they love me, but they're never around.
00:52:11Well, of course they love you.
00:52:13How could they not?
00:52:15You're an amazing young lady.
00:52:17Really?
00:52:18Yeah.
00:52:19If I had a daughter, I'd want her to be just like you.
00:52:28Oh.
00:52:43Let's get in and out, because I want to drive.
00:52:45Uh, well, let's get the food home first and then I'll find a parking lot and you can drive around.
00:52:50That's not driving.
00:52:51Well, it's all the time I have.
00:52:53So I'm like my dad.
00:52:54Hey.
00:52:55Hey.
00:52:56Come here.
00:53:06You can drive home.
00:53:08Deal?
00:53:09Deal.
00:53:11Alright, kid.
00:53:15What are you doing?
00:53:16Sorry.
00:53:17Uh.
00:53:18It's already ordered.
00:53:19Two pies, cake, and a yule walk.
00:53:20Yeah, I know that.
00:53:21You got it.
00:53:22Let's go get it.
00:53:23No.
00:53:24Why not?
00:53:25Just, there's someone in there I don't want to see.
00:53:26Great.
00:53:27Who?
00:53:28Oh, it's your girlfriend, isn't it?
00:53:30No.
00:53:31Yeah.
00:53:32Well, who could it be?
00:53:33Yeah, I know that.
00:53:34You got it.
00:53:35Let's go get it.
00:53:38No.
00:53:39Why not?
00:53:44There's someone in there I don't want to see.
00:53:46Great.
00:53:47Who?
00:53:48Oh, it's your girlfriend, isn't it?
00:53:50No.
00:53:51Yeah.
00:53:52Well, who could it be?
00:53:53It's a girl.
00:53:54It's a girl.
00:53:55It's a girl.
00:53:56She...
00:53:57Remember when it said stay in your own lane?
00:54:00This is the time.
00:54:01Stay in your own lane or you lose driving privileges, okay?
00:54:04So you can go get that food.
00:54:06I'll stick you in the parking lot, all right?
00:54:09Go, just...
00:54:10Go get the food!
00:54:26What are you chatting, kid?
00:54:28Come on.
00:54:29What?
00:54:30Shit.
00:54:34Got it.
00:54:39You forgot your Yule log.
00:54:41Hey!
00:54:42You.
00:54:43Oh, sorry.
00:54:44That's also mine.
00:54:45Oh, it's all yours.
00:54:46We should put it down, Tom.
00:54:49Dad, let's go!
00:54:51You have a kid, too?
00:54:53This is the neighbor's kid.
00:54:54Are you kidding me?
00:54:55Dad, come on!
00:54:56Yeah.
00:54:57Run.
00:54:58Go.
00:54:59Go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:55:00You disgust me!
00:55:01I can't believe you!
00:55:02You're a horrible man!
00:55:03I hope you have a lousy Christmas!
00:55:05I am.
00:55:06You know what?
00:55:07Does your wife know about this kid?
00:55:09Hey.
00:55:10Sign over.
00:55:11You said I could drive.
00:55:12Everybody's watching.
00:55:13The whole town goes down.
00:55:14You're right, you're right.
00:55:15Okay?
00:55:16I hope that Yule log falls in the fire or something!
00:55:22Okay.
00:55:24Okay.
00:55:25All right.
00:55:28Ooh, we are doing this.
00:55:30Yes, we are.
00:55:31Got the stuff.
00:55:32Great.
00:55:33Where's Max?
00:55:34He's getting dressed.
00:55:35Ah, yeah.
00:55:36You guys should go get ready, too, actually.
00:55:38They're gonna be here soon.
00:55:39You got it.
00:55:41You got a hard bed.
00:55:42Hey.
00:55:43Don't be talking with your mouth full.
00:55:45Now, scoot.
00:55:55In the kitchen.
00:55:59Hi, Mom.
00:56:02Wow!
00:56:04Oh, you look beautiful.
00:56:08Looking good, Mamacita.
00:56:09I'm still not sure about that lipstick, Joy.
00:56:14Marta, leave the girl alone.
00:56:16Yes, dear.
00:56:25Wow.
00:56:26You look better than the family in my books.
00:56:39Yeah, those posers don't hold a candle to us.
00:56:43You don't think I look washed out without makeup?
00:56:45Oh, you look beautiful.
00:56:47I shaved.
00:56:50You know, just slouch a little.
00:56:54Nah, we'll just tell them you had a growth spurt.
00:56:58Merry Christmas.
00:57:00Merry Christmas.
00:57:01Merry Christmas.
00:57:06Okay.
00:57:07The cameras are gonna be here soon,
00:57:09so everybody just be yourselves.
00:57:11But don't.
00:57:12The cameras are gonna go past us.
00:57:13Let's see.
00:57:14Let's go.
00:57:15Let's see.
00:57:16Let's see.
00:57:18Let's go.
00:57:21The camera are gonna be here.
00:57:24Let's see.
00:57:31Let's go.
00:57:33Let's see.
00:57:34Let's go.
00:57:36Joy, we can do this.
00:57:48We can.
00:57:49Nothing's going to go wrong.
00:57:51Nothing.
00:57:53Let's go.
00:57:57Hi!
00:57:59Where can I touch up my glam?
00:58:01Almost done with your mic.
00:58:02You ready, Steve?
00:58:07Yeah.
00:58:08All right, Joy, it's showtime.
00:58:09Let's go, Steve.
00:58:29I hope you're ready, world,
00:58:31because we're getting a behind-the-scenes look
00:58:33into the magical Christmas world of Joy Edwards.
00:58:37Come on.
00:58:42Okay.
00:58:46Hello.
00:58:48Welcome, welcome to Goose Lane.
00:58:51Merry Christmas.
00:58:53Merry Christmas.
00:58:54Yeah.
00:58:54Joy, it's just as you described it.
00:59:01Oh, well, I wouldn't make it up.
00:59:06What a treat.
00:59:08Come on in.
00:59:09All right.
00:59:10We like to grow our own winter vegetables,
00:59:13some of which we'll be eating tonight.
00:59:16Oh, it's so fresh.
00:59:21Finally, the beloved Goose Lane chicken coop.
00:59:25Oh, you better stay back.
00:59:27The Reds get a feisty around the holidays.
00:59:30All right.
00:59:39Oh, angry chickens.
00:59:41Wow.
00:59:48Come on.
00:59:51Oh.
00:59:54Woof.
00:59:56All right.
00:59:58Wow.
00:59:59Yes.
01:00:00So these eggs will be found in the stuffing
01:00:03and my holiday scramble on Christmas morning.
01:00:07It doesn't get any fresher than this.
01:00:10Hmm?
01:00:13The secret to my turkey, brining.
01:00:19I do it for two days.
01:00:22Wow.
01:00:23Looks like we have company, huh?
01:00:25Yeah.
01:00:25Me, honey.
01:00:29Um, Max is the guinea pig for all my recipes.
01:00:34And I'm still alive.
01:00:35As long as you don't mess up cutting the turkey.
01:00:38You two are just like newlyweds.
01:00:41It's like we were married yesterday.
01:00:44Um, why don't we go meet the rest of the family?
01:00:51And this is Tommy and Tori.
01:00:57A pleasure to be on the show, Liza. I'm a big fan.
01:01:00Thank you, Tori.
01:01:01Tommy, how old are you?
01:01:03Thirteen.
01:01:04Really?
01:01:05I grew four inches last week.
01:01:07Month. Year.
01:01:08And, of course, what would Christmas be without Mom and Dad?
01:01:13From what I've read, you two live close.
01:01:15Oh, six, eight, three, one.
01:01:18Uh, Dad's always been very fascinated with zip codes.
01:01:22And I still married him anyway.
01:01:25Well, nothing moves the mail quicker, especially around Christmas time.
01:01:28That's enough, dear.
01:01:29Oh, wow.
01:01:30Oh, wow.
01:01:34My husband painted everything here.
01:01:38Now, this one I love.
01:01:41Max Stranlin?
01:01:44Oh, that's his maiden name.
01:01:47I would love one of these in my home.
01:01:49Well, you can have one.
01:01:50Everything here's for sale.
01:01:52Well, except the one over the mantle.
01:01:54Max painted that one for me.
01:01:55I'll paint you another one.
01:01:57Look, anything you like.
01:01:58If you see it, I'll take it off the wall and put it right in your car.
01:02:02Right now.
01:02:04Joy, your earrings are gorgeous.
01:02:07Oh, thank you.
01:02:08You know, they get so heavy, I need a break.
01:02:11Oh, I get it.
01:02:12So, this is my favorite part.
01:02:14We open presents on Christmas morning, but it's a long-standing tradition that we exchange
01:02:23handmade gifts on Christmas Eve.
01:02:25That is beautiful.
01:02:27Can I help?
01:02:28Yes, please.
01:02:32Wow.
01:02:39A hand-knit scarf?
01:02:41Same here.
01:02:44Him, too?
01:02:47Just what he needs for those long neighborhood walks.
01:02:50Oh, well, maybe he'll come with me next time, dear.
01:02:54Nice beanie.
01:02:58All my favorite recipes.
01:03:02All right.
01:03:06Antique paintbrushes.
01:03:09Okay, I didn't make them, but I saw them and I thought of you.
01:03:12I love them.
01:03:14You haven't opened your stocking yet, Joy.
01:03:18Yeah, open it.
01:03:19Open it.
01:03:20See what they got you.
01:03:22Okay.
01:03:25Oh, a chopstick holder.
01:03:29It's just what I wanted.
01:03:30Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, wait a second, son, would you?
01:03:36Interesting gift.
01:03:38Sorry, Mom.
01:03:39We were just messing with you, since you're always honest about laundry.
01:03:43Yeah, you're naughty and nice, you know?
01:03:45Dad's kids for you.
01:03:47You guys are the best parents I've ever had.
01:03:49Expecting company?
01:03:56It's a little early for Santa.
01:03:58Huh?
01:04:06I got it.
01:04:07Oh, no, no, no, let me.
01:04:09Why don't you take everyone to the table?
01:04:11Okay, who's hungry?
01:04:16I know how I am.
01:04:17Okay.
01:04:21Oh, you know, it's probably that neighbor bringing some holiday cheer.
01:04:25Are you Max's wife?
01:04:56Ah, it is so sweet of you to stop by.
01:05:00As one woman to another, I should tell you, he's come to the bakery several times without his wedding ring.
01:05:04What's in a ring?
01:05:06Five golden rings.
01:05:08He also lied about your son, said he was a neighbor's kid.
01:05:19Didn't you hear what I'm saying?
01:05:22Um, your husband, you know...
01:05:23And what better time for forgiveness than Christmas?
01:05:29We deserve each other.
01:05:31Oh, thank you.
01:05:36Thanks again for the poinsettia, Ginger.
01:05:40Is she joining us?
01:05:49No, she's vegan.
01:05:54She's done it again.
01:05:56Joy Edwards, this looks beautiful.
01:05:58Oh, thank you.
01:06:00And while it looks like a lot of work was put into this, it was.
01:06:07The truth is, it doesn't matter how or where we celebrate the holiday.
01:06:15And we could be sitting on lawn furniture, eating take-out.
01:06:20The important thing is that we're all together.
01:06:24Merry Christmas from the Edwards family.
01:06:29Merry Christmas.
01:06:30Merry Christmas.
01:06:32Yes.
01:06:34There we go.
01:06:37There we go.
01:06:39I have no idea what you're missing out on.
01:06:41Oh, here.
01:06:41Merry Christmas.
01:06:46With love skin.
01:06:47It's a special tea.
01:06:49Hey.
01:06:51Have I ever told you guys about the first Christmas I spent with your mom?
01:06:54I don't think so.
01:06:55I'm sure you have.
01:06:56I've never heard it.
01:06:57No, no.
01:06:57Me neither.
01:06:58You've heard it.
01:06:59No, never.
01:07:00Dad, tell us.
01:07:01Inquiring minds want to know.
01:07:02Don't you?
01:07:03Don't you?
01:07:04Yeah.
01:07:05I do.
01:07:05Listen, it was a winter night, just like this one.
01:07:14Snow's falling down.
01:07:18I'm walking down the sidewalk.
01:07:21Then I saw her.
01:07:23She's coming my way.
01:07:25Hideous.
01:07:26Christmas sweater.
01:07:27Reindeer slip.
01:07:29Up in her hair.
01:07:31But I'll tell you, she's so beautiful.
01:07:35The first ten seconds, I knew that she was going to be in my life forever.
01:07:45But you never told me that.
01:07:47Yeah, you know us artists.
01:07:49You're an eye for detail.
01:07:53Besides, you're pretty hard to forget.
01:08:02How touching.
01:08:03Can you pass to Yann's?
01:08:10So, we have a pumpkin pie, a Dutch apple, a Christmas cake, and my signature, Yule Log.
01:08:20Oh.
01:08:21Oh.
01:08:37I got it.
01:08:38I got it.
01:08:39I got it.
01:08:39I'm sorry, Mom.
01:08:47Hi, that's like Tommy.
01:08:50And, yes, that is a ping pong table.
01:08:53It's okay, buddy.
01:08:53Because who doesn't love a DIY project?
01:08:57That's right.
01:08:59Nothing goes to waste here, Who's Lane.
01:09:01Uh, we preached that.
01:09:04Uh, uh, uh, Tori.
01:09:05You remember that song you were singing earlier?
01:09:09We wish you a Merry Christmas.
01:09:11We wish you a Merry Christmas.
01:09:13We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
01:09:19Sadness.
01:09:21Sabrina?
01:09:22Henry?
01:09:22Mom, you're supposed to be skiing.
01:09:23Your father twisted his ankle.
01:09:26Is that Frederick our mailman?
01:09:29I've taken early retirement.
01:09:31Okay.
01:09:32You're coming with me.
01:09:34Now, kill the cameras.
01:09:36I'm sorry I can't.
01:09:37We're live.
01:09:37Keep the cameras rolling, fellas.
01:09:39This is TV gold.
01:09:40Uh, uh, like so many of you out there, uh, we are a blended family.
01:09:48Tommy and Tori have two sets of parents, so that means it's double Christmases, and what
01:09:54could be better than that?
01:09:57Okay.
01:09:58Um, I don't know what's going on here, but, um, it's over.
01:10:04You're coming with me.
01:10:06My name is Sabrina Swinton, and I'm currently seeking representation.
01:10:12Sabrina!
01:10:17I'm sorry, Joy.
01:10:20Me too, honey.
01:10:22Gave it a shot.
01:10:25Well, uh, I'll be by tomorrow to pick up my check.
01:10:31Bye, Mom.
01:10:32Bye, Dad.
01:10:33Thanks for coming.
01:10:36Uh, yeah, well, empty nest syndrome.
01:10:40I mean, we knew it was going to happen, just not so soon.
01:10:44Joy.
01:10:46We tried.
01:10:47Don't worry.
01:10:49Not until we dig into that Yule log.
01:10:55Excuse me.
01:10:58Gotta love live TV.
01:10:59Joy, I know this is probably the worst time for this, but...
01:11:08The water damage in my loft, it's been fixed for weeks.
01:11:15Yeah.
01:11:16I'm still here because I don't want to be your friend.
01:11:19I don't want any more first dates or last dates.
01:11:26I know who I want to be with.
01:11:27Max, please, just not now.
01:11:37Why not now?
01:11:39What are we waiting for?
01:11:43You told me not to settle for second best.
01:11:45I love you, Joy.
01:11:47I always have.
01:11:50I always will.
01:11:51You just say the word,
01:11:54and we'll go back out there together.
01:12:01Joy.
01:12:04Joy.
01:12:05Joy.
01:12:05Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:35All right.
01:13:05Hi.
01:13:08So, who wants dessert?
01:13:16Could you give me one minute?
01:13:18Of course.
01:13:20One minute.
01:13:22Bill, are you getting all of this?
01:13:25Max!
01:13:27Max!
01:13:30Max!
01:13:35Max!
01:14:05I guess it's obvious by now that those weren't my kids or my parents.
01:14:33Max isn't my husband.
01:14:38The sounds you heard from the hen house, you do.
01:14:44The eggs are from the market, the plants from the nursery, the pies from the bakery.
01:14:50Even the name Goose Lane is a lie.
01:14:54There has not been a goose here since I moved in.
01:14:56Everything you saw here tonight was fake.
01:15:04Most of all, me.
01:15:08The truth is, I've never had a family.
01:15:10I don't even know what one is.
01:15:12At least I didn't until these last few days.
01:15:17I am sorry for pretending to be someone I'm not.
01:15:29The real joy, Edwards.
01:15:33Me.
01:15:34Is a fraud.
01:15:39Is a mess.
01:15:42And alone.
01:15:47No.
01:15:50Well.
01:15:54Happy holidays from Goose Lane.
01:15:56That's a wrap.
01:16:02I'm sorry, Joy.
01:16:03Happy holidays from Goose Lane.
01:16:29Here is my phone.
01:16:31Come on.
01:16:33Oh
01:17:33Hey, are you up yet? Where are you?
01:17:47Hey, I'm in here.
01:17:54Merry Christmas.
01:17:57What are you two doing here?
01:17:59Well, you didn't think I was going to leave you with all this mess.
01:18:01A special delivery.
01:18:05On Christmas Day?
01:18:07Yeah, well, I know people.
01:18:12Oh.
01:18:13You guys, thank you.
01:18:19Oh, thank you for giving us a family at Christmas so we wouldn't have to be alone.
01:18:26I know that I complain every now and then, but I consider myself lucky to have worked all these years with someone I consider a daughter.
01:18:39Oh, Marta.
01:18:40Even though I am way too young to be your mother.
01:18:42Oh, Marta.
01:18:44Oh, and I have not forgotten about your retirement package.
01:18:50Oh, no rush.
01:18:52I'll be traveling.
01:18:54Really?
01:18:55Mm-hmm.
01:18:57Freddie and I are going to be wintering in the 33427 area.
01:19:05That's Boca Raton.
01:19:07Uh, Marta has a timeshare.
01:19:09Whoa, wait.
01:19:10A timeshare?
01:19:11Honey, you've been overpaying me for years.
01:19:14Well, I'm glad something good came out of all this.
01:19:18Oh, God.
01:19:19Okay.
01:19:19What?
01:19:20You pull yourself together.
01:19:22Go get the door.
01:19:24I got the dishes.
01:19:25Mm-hmm.
01:19:28All dry.
01:19:29All dry.
01:19:29All dry.
01:19:29All dry.
01:19:31All dry.
01:19:33Merry Christmas, Miss Edwards.
01:19:37Oh, we're way past Miss Edwards, Sabrina.
01:19:41And I owe you a huge apology, Grace.
01:19:45No, I actually owe you an apology, Joy.
01:19:48We've been so wrapped up in work,
01:19:50it took seeing you with the kids to realize that
01:19:53they need parents who are going to be there,
01:19:56and that's exactly what we're going to be from now on.
01:19:59So thank you.
01:20:00Um, do you want to come in for some leftovers?
01:20:05Oh, another time?
01:20:07Sabrina and I are going to make gingerbread houses today.
01:20:10And we're going to make all the recipes you gave me, too.
01:20:12And my dad's going to take me for a driving lesson.
01:20:15Oh, it sounds like the perfect Christmas.
01:20:17Yeah.
01:20:18You have a great Christmas, too.
01:20:22Goodbye.
01:20:23Bye.
01:20:23Max, hey, it's me.
01:20:40It's like my tenth call before noon.
01:20:43Um, call me back.
01:20:45Okay, bye.
01:20:46Bye.
01:20:46Bye.
01:20:46Bye.
01:20:46Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:47Bye.
01:20:48Bye.
01:20:49Bye.
01:20:49Bye.
01:20:50Bye.
01:20:51Bye.
01:20:52Bye.
01:20:53Bye.
01:20:54Bye.
01:20:55Bye.
01:20:56Bye.
01:20:57Bye.
01:20:58Bye.
01:20:59Max.
01:21:00Max!
01:21:01Max!
01:21:02Mr. Merriman.
01:21:05I, uh, think we should probably talk.
01:21:08Don't you?
01:21:09Look, before you say anything, I just want to tell you how sorry I am for ruining your Christmas
01:21:18and possibly your whole company.
01:21:21I'm gonna make a statement saying you knew nothing about this.
01:21:25I really didn't mean to lie.
01:21:28It just snowballed and I didn't know how to stop it.
01:21:31I know.
01:21:32I've known since the beginning, dear.
01:21:35We vet all our authors.
01:21:37It's just part of business.
01:21:39I've always gone with my guts.
01:21:42When you first came to me with that book, so original, so full of promise, I saw something
01:21:49in you.
01:21:50How could I turn that down?
01:21:52I'm guessing you wish you had now.
01:21:55Your books are about family and togetherness.
01:22:02That message means something, whether you have one or not.
01:22:06I've watched you all these years, hoping you'd find real love along the way.
01:22:10I thought, doing this show, maybe you'd see what you were missing.
01:22:15So you risked embarrassing the whole publishing house for me?
01:22:19Everything's a risk in this business and in life.
01:22:23That's what makes it so rewarding.
01:22:25I don't know what to say, Mr. Merriman.
01:22:28Well, I do.
01:22:31Online sales went through the roof last night.
01:22:35The viewers loved you because you're not perfect.
01:22:39You're on the other side of perfect, just like the rest of us.
01:22:46And if you feel like writing this next chapter, Merriman Publishing would be happy and honored
01:22:54to publish it.
01:22:56No need to make the decision now.
01:22:58I'm guessing you have a few things to sort out.
01:23:02It might be too late for that.
01:23:04No, it's never too late, especially on Christmas.
01:23:08Well, I'm due for some Christmas caroling, although I have the worst voice in the family.
01:23:19Oh, wait, before I forget.
01:23:28For you.
01:23:31They're bookmarks.
01:23:37Handmade tassel.
01:23:39Metallic and cotton embroidery.
01:23:41Volume 3.
01:23:42Volume 3.
01:23:43I'll treasure them.
01:23:48Merry Christmas.
01:23:49You too, Joy.
01:23:58Bye.
01:24:01Bye.
01:24:02Bye.
01:24:03Bye.
01:24:04Bye.
01:24:05Bye.
01:24:06Bye.
01:24:07Bye.
01:24:09Bye.
01:24:10Bye.
01:24:14You answered.
01:24:15Yeah.
01:24:16I'm sorry.
01:24:17I've been trying to think of what to say.
01:24:18you answered yeah sorry i've been trying to think of what to say i'll be you know clear on my
01:24:34pains in just a little bit where are you i'm back
01:24:37max down here the one above the fireplace is yours told the manfred gallery it's not for sale
01:24:53wait the manfred gallery isn't that the best gallery in new york oh my god wait they're
01:25:00taking you that's amazing apparently manfred's a foodie he saw the show and he's giving me a
01:25:07window and he even bought one for himself oh that's so good
01:25:13it's because of you and uh you're a great friend you know what's wrong with being great friends
01:25:26right we'll get coffee no i don't want to get coffee and i can't be your friend and all that
01:25:34stuff i said before and mostly what i didn't say
01:25:38the first 10 seconds when i saw you walking down the sidewalk i thought
01:25:45hmm now there's someone who could break my heart so i just kept walking
01:25:51right i didn't name my fake husband after the guy in the exorcist i named him after you
01:25:57because it's the only time that i've ever let myself picture a future with someone it's been with you
01:26:07i love you i always have and i always will
01:26:14i love you
01:26:26i love you
01:26:29i love you
01:26:33i love you
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