Kendrick Lamar & The Art of Being a Strategic "Hater"

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00:00We're so often told to be nice, to try to meet everyone with kindness even when they aren't

00:04kind to us. But sometimes, being a hater is the right answer. Superstar Kendrick Lamar has been

00:11running a masterclass on the power of strategic hate, culminating in his show-stopping performance

00:17headlining this year's Super Bowl halftime. And his success, and the collective enjoyment of it,

00:22is a sign of a larger shift of people no longer being willing to play nice with people who wish

00:27to do harm to us and our communities. So let's take a closer look at what we can learn from Kendrick

00:33and other world-class strategic haters. Before we take a look at why the modern narrative around

00:41being a hater has started shifting, let's first quickly unpack why, while we might still be annoyed

00:47by obnoxious haters, we're often drawn to strategic haters. On screen, many of the biggest and best

00:53haters aren't necessarily people we're supposed to like, and can often be found popping in to offer

00:59a quick barb to knock someone else down a peg. We're calling her a taxi to the subway so that

01:04she can go home to her little apartment. Sometimes this feels justified, and other times less so.

01:11But the biggest thing that draws us to these kinds of characters is their apparent freedom to buck the

01:16societal cage of niceties. While we're all often raised to be afraid of speaking our mind too directly,

01:21of pushing back against anyone too much, these characters seem totally unrestrained by this

01:27convention. One of film and TV's most iconic haters, for example, is Dynasty's Alexis Carrington

01:33Dexter Rowan Kobe Neem Morell. The ex-wife of oil tycoon Blake, she burst onto the scene at the top of

01:39the show's second season and didn't take her foot off of everyone else's necks for the rest of the show's

01:44run. Are you insane? Oh no, I'm perfectly sane. So take this junk and your blunt tramp and get out of

01:53my home. She was scheming and often straight up evil, but her willingness to always put herself first

01:59and ability to have a good comeback anytime someone else tried to tear her down was what

02:05made her so fun to watch. The music industry too is filled with those unafraid to bring the heat

02:19when they've been slighted. Whether it's taking aim at their ex,

02:22a specific person,

02:29or a whole coast, music has always been a way to release one's innermost feelings,

02:41even or especially the darker ones. So it's no surprise that songs are often used as a vehicle

02:47for hitting out at someone who hurt them. And then we, as the audience, also get to feel a kind

02:51of catharsis as we sing along. Whether it's on screen or in song, our occasional embrace of being

02:57a hater stems from some very real problems we all have to contend with. While generally being dubbed

03:04a hater has been a pretty cut and dry negative thing, in recent years people have begun to reassess

03:09that notion. Obviously, being nice to people generally is a good thing. And finding ways to let

03:15slights go and move on can help keep you from getting trapped in negative cycles. And of course,

03:20there are people who take being a hater to dangerous extremes, overreacting to imagined

03:25slights, or just being miserable because the world isn't exactly how they think it should be.

03:30But for many of us, the allure of the strategic hater comes from the fact that,

03:34in our everyday lives, the requirement of niceness is often pushed past any reasonable

03:40expectation into an assumption that we should just always sit idly by and deal with whatever

03:46kind of mistreatment or unkindness comes our way with grace. And in tandem with that,

03:51any pushback against this on our part is often seen as not strong or self-assured,

03:56but impolite or mean.

03:58Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24-7 so I can be considered a

04:04lady?

04:05This can lead to some of the people who are the most put upon and mistreated being the

04:09least able to speak up or fight back, because when they do, it's framed as being difficult or rude.

04:15Take Isis and bring it on. All of her and her teammates' work is stolen by others who use their

04:20inferior version to cheat their way to success. But when she points it out, she's seen as the

04:25aggressive and rude one who is trying to ruin everyone else's good time.

04:29What are you talking about?

04:30Burr, it's cold in here. I said there must be some Toros in the atmosphere.

04:33I know you didn't think a white girl made that up.

04:35Shrugging off any critique or pushback as just hate, and anyone who voices issues with anything

04:40as just being a hater, can be used as a way to try to dismiss any negative feelings or consequences,

04:46no matter how real and destructive they may be. And not only that, it also allows the perpetrator

04:52to imply that the reaction is misplaced or even an overreaction, and frame the so-called

04:57hater as the one causing the real problem. And so, in a world that is telling us that we

05:02just have to live with worse and worse treatment and circumstances, and with the imposition of

05:07worse and worse people in every avenue of society, it's no surprise that more and more people

05:12are beginning to decide that sometimes, being a hater is the right choice.

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06:28thetake50off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Sometimes, after being pushed too

06:35far, one feels like they can't do anything other than either give up or fight back. While there's in

06:40the past been a push to go for a when-they-go-low-we-go-high vibe, as we've seen play out,

06:45that doesn't often actually achieve anything, except more stress and or pain for you. So instead,

06:52some people choose to go in the other direction, to great success.

06:56Yeah, they tried to rig the game, but you can't fake influence.

06:59The beef between rap icon Kendrick Lamar and former child actor Drake reached its denouement at this

07:05year's Super Bowl halftime show. Kendrick was the first ever rapper to perform the event solo,

07:10and he did not pull any punches. But the key thing about his performance, and which has in fact been

07:16a through line of the entire situation, is his ability to put his hate to work to larger ends.

07:21While yes, he most certainly had a crowd of 70,000 plus millions more at home,

07:26thinking along about Drake's personal failures, character flaws, concerning proclivities,

07:30he was also making a larger statement about our time and the historical issues that led up to it.

07:37Forty acres in the mule, this is bigger than the music.

07:40Though some seem to have somehow missed it, the show was very clearly about more than just one beef.

07:45The revolution about to be televised, you picked the right time, but the wrong guy.

07:49Through artistry, the performance touched on the way black men had been used to build up America,

07:54blamed for it being split, and told that they just need to play along if they want any chance at success.

08:00Mr. Lamar, do you really know how to play the game?

08:04In the performance, Kendrick's hate towards these issues, and the institutions that uphold them,

08:10is just as vibrant and fiery as it is towards Drake. This follows from Not Like Us as a song itself,

08:16which definitely laser focuses on dragging Drake, but also zooms out to take a wider look at the

08:20systemic issues that Drake represents, but that people were willing to ignore because he was making

08:26people a lot of money.

08:27The Saddlers was using town folk to make them richer. Fast forward 2024, you got the same agenda.

08:32Some still hold on to the old school idea that hate is just too far, a thing that is not done by

08:37polite society. But when we're up against such huge obstacles and mega creeps, it's fair to say that

08:43it's time to leave politeness behind. Being a hater in the functional way can be a way, sometimes the

08:49only way, to point out these kinds of structural and deeply embedded issues and actually be heard.

08:55The issue of Drake's apparent interest in young women, for example, was a topic of conversation

09:00for years before Not Like Us dropped, but most people were willing to just ignore or overlook it.

09:06Now, with millions of people around the globe talking about it, it's much more difficult to ignore.

09:11Though of course, awareness doesn't always lead to solutions, but it is a start. And regardless of

09:17how kindly you might try to put things, people will often just call you a hater for any critique

09:22regardless. So, you might as well go for it. After being told to make ourselves smaller and quieter

09:27and meeker for so long, with the assurance that this was the way to solve our problems and beat the

09:33people who wished to do us harm, it's no surprise with how everything has been going in recent years

09:38that people are tired of that narrative.

09:41I just want to kick this shit off by saying fuck y'all.

09:43Of course, this doesn't mean that we all need to become haters exclusively.

09:46Looking for common ground and trying to work with people that are willing to try to work

09:50with you will always be an important part of community building and finding our way forward

09:55as a society. But when people only have sights on trying to tear us down and using their own

10:00wealth or privilege to shield themselves?

10:06The most important steps to being a functional hater are specificity. You can't waste your energy

10:11being mad at everyone and everything all of the time. You have to figure out what or who the biggest

10:16problem really is and find a way to really zoom in and shine a light on that.

10:21Larger connection. Kendrick has been able to take down Drake while also effectively using him as a

10:26vehicle to open up conversations around larger issues, like predatory men and industry culture

10:31vultures. Most things that inspire hate within us are usually part of a larger web than they may

10:37initially seem. That's why they engender such intense feelings within us. So it's important

10:42to take a step back and get the full picture, so that you can hate more effectively and efficiently.

10:47Keep pushing. Calls to give up and be the bigger person are always levied at the person wronged,

10:52as a way to try to stop the conflict by forcing them to just take whatever happens to them

10:57for fear of being labeled a problem themselves. But when you have a legitimate grievance and the

11:02other party keeps attacking you, there's nothing wrong with continuing to keep that same energy.

11:07Sorry to hear you. What?

11:10Of course, there's always room to realize that a fight just isn't even worth it,

11:14or to find common ground and call a truce. You can be my wingman anytime.

11:19You can be mine. But when push comes to shove, we've all got to start fighting back against the

11:25creeps and bad people. And if that makes us haters, then so be it.

11:32That's the take. Click here to watch the video we think you'll love,

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