Feeling the strain of parenting and adulthood, a couple sends their children to winter camp for the first time. They embark on a series of sexual adventures to reinvigorate their relationship and rediscover intimacy. This romantic comedy explores the challenges of long-term commitment and the quest to rekindle marital passion.
the-end-of-sex 2023-movie hollywood-film english-movie romantic-comedy relationship-drama parenting-challenges marital-issues
#TheEndOfSex #FullMovie #RomanticComedy #RelationshipGoals
the-end-of-sex 2023-movie hollywood-film english-movie romantic-comedy relationship-drama parenting-challenges marital-issues
#TheEndOfSex #FullMovie #RomanticComedy #RelationshipGoals
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:19Mommy
00:00:24What's on your face don
00:00:26Makeup I want to look nice for the first day dad. Yeah, I made sandwiches for the bus
00:00:34Do you think I put too much ketchup?
00:00:36What? No, there's no such thing as too much ketchup. You know that
00:00:43Yay waffles are ready
00:00:48We could keep them with us for the week, I mean we lose the money, but
00:00:52We can't have this conversation again because the bus is coming in an hour
00:00:57Just a week kept is good remember campus campus good cap is good
00:01:04And you got some t-shirts
00:01:06Yeah
00:01:08Yeah
00:01:10Yes
00:01:12Got everything
00:01:14I have everything I already checked
00:01:20Undies undies
00:01:22I'm wearing them
00:01:24What?
00:01:26No, seriously what?
00:01:29But only taking one pair?
00:01:31No, I only have one but
00:01:33I mean you're eight
00:01:34I mean you're eight
00:01:35Yeah, but 14% of girls get their periods by the age of ten
00:01:41What is in here?
00:01:43Well, not that much
00:01:48And the youngest recorded case of a girl giving birth was a five year old
00:01:51Wait, I'm not done talking
00:01:53Wait, I'm not done talking
00:01:54Okay
00:01:55In Peru in 1938
00:01:58Let's just take the old box in
00:01:59Let's just take the old box in
00:02:03And girls, it is totally normal to feel homesick at camp, okay?
00:02:07So when you're away from your family it can be hard
00:02:11So look, if you get that feeling in your chest and it kind of overwhelms you
00:02:14It's fine
00:02:16You just take a moment
00:02:17And you think of a happy memory
00:02:19Something that we all did together as a family
00:02:21And when that happens
00:02:23You'll feel better
00:02:25Are you crying?
00:02:26No
00:02:27I'm not
00:02:29Of course I am not crying
00:02:30I'm a grown up
00:02:31It's okay to cry though
00:02:32Just so you know
00:02:33Crying is totally fine
00:02:35Good pep talk
00:02:36Thanks
00:02:41Don't worry, you're not there for long, right?
00:02:42Hey, it's only seven days
00:02:44What's seven days, right?
00:02:45Seven days is nothing
00:02:46We have seven gnomes
00:02:47Seven gnomes for seven days
00:02:48Count down the days for gnomes
00:02:49Don't worry, it's going to go by quick
00:02:51Okay?
00:02:52Take care of daddy
00:02:53This is the camp where you met mommy
00:02:54Yeah, a long time ago
00:02:55You're going to meet our husband there too
00:02:57You're going to meet your husband there, okay?
00:02:59You're going to meet your husband
00:03:00So you don't have the same husband
00:03:01That's illegal
00:03:02Okay
00:03:03I love you so much
00:03:04I love you
00:03:05Bye
00:03:06Bye you guys
00:03:07I love you so much
00:03:08I love you, I'm going to think about you every second of the day
00:03:09Bye
00:03:12Bye
00:03:13Oh God
00:03:14Okay
00:03:16It's uh
00:03:17Camp is good
00:03:18Camp is good
00:03:19Camp is good
00:03:20Camp is good
00:03:21It's not too late for me to
00:03:22Throw my body in front of the moving bus
00:03:24And stop this craziness right here
00:03:26This is good for them
00:03:27We've done good
00:03:28So what do we do now?
00:03:43I literally have no idea
00:03:49I mean we could drive to the gymnastics studio and just sit in the parents waiting area
00:03:56Yeah
00:03:57Yeah, I don't know
00:03:58It's comforting
00:03:59It's that sound
00:04:00We could go for brunch
00:04:01We used to like brunch
00:04:02Yeah, definitely
00:04:03Oh
00:04:04We could go see a matinee
00:04:05Yeah
00:04:06Yeah
00:04:07When was the last time we went to see a matinee?
00:04:08Do they still have matinees?
00:04:09Is that still even a thing?
00:04:10Probably not
00:04:11We could make some sex
00:04:17Oh yeah, let's totally make some sex
00:04:20Make some sex
00:04:21Yeah
00:04:22This is great
00:04:24Ha ha
00:04:25Found him
00:04:26Wait, hold on
00:04:28Whoa
00:04:29We don't have to close the door
00:04:31We can be as loud as we want
00:04:34Yeah
00:04:35Oh, I am going to be so loud
00:04:38Oh, oh, I am sorry
00:04:49I used to like when I had the extra camera
00:04:51No, no, I do it
00:04:52I do it
00:04:53Okay
00:04:54You good?
00:04:55Yeah
00:04:56You good?
00:04:57Yeah
00:04:58Oh, sorry, too much shade
00:05:01No, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:05:02I just, I felt asleep
00:05:05I'm good
00:05:06I'm good
00:05:07I'm good
00:05:08I'm good
00:05:09I'm good
00:05:10I'm good
00:05:11I'm good
00:05:12I'm good
00:05:13Do you want to just, uh
00:05:18No, no, no, no, no, I just, I focus, I'm asleep, I'm good.
00:05:25Do you want to just, uh,
00:05:31Oh my God.
00:05:37Oh my God.
00:05:42Oh my God, oh my God, I think, I think I'm coming.
00:05:53Oh, me too, I'm coming right inside you.
00:05:58Ah.
00:06:17Testicles.
00:06:18Yup, they're balls.
00:06:21It's the least attractive part of the male anatomy.
00:06:25Yeah, and that's saying a lot.
00:06:28I think this is the longest I've ever stared at a pair of these.
00:06:32You know, I'm very uncomfortable.
00:06:34Emma? Emma Michaels?
00:06:36Oh God, Martin.
00:06:38Oh my God.
00:06:39Oh my God.
00:06:40I can't believe it's Emma Michaels.
00:06:42Oh my, I had like the biggest crush on you in art school.
00:06:45Wow, well you still have that thing where you just say things.
00:06:49What?
00:06:50Without a filter.
00:06:51No, I don't, I didn't do that, did I?
00:06:53You just did, you just did it when you said you had a crush on me.
00:06:56Oh no, it was a major crush.
00:06:57I kept a journal about it.
00:06:58You just did it again.
00:06:59Oh no, I had photos in a special binder.
00:07:01How the hell are you?
00:07:03I'm good, I'm fine, I'm great.
00:07:06Yeah, you married?
00:07:07Kids?
00:07:08All of the above.
00:07:09Yeah, I married Josh actually.
00:07:11Oh my God, you married your boyfriend from camp.
00:07:13Wow, that's so adorable.
00:07:16Uh, I mean we, well we broke up on and off.
00:07:20Right.
00:07:21You know, played the field before we settled down.
00:07:24And now we have two beautiful little girls.
00:07:27Let me show you their Halloween.
00:07:28Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, that's okay.
00:07:30No, people without kids are always pretending they care to see photos of other people's kids,
00:07:33but really we're just being polite.
00:07:35Ah, no, no filter.
00:07:39Yeah.
00:07:40Oh my God, so is this your gal?
00:07:43Oh yeah, it's all mine.
00:07:45Um, yeah, I finally realized that I was far better suited to appreciate the work of others
00:07:49than to produce anything of value myself.
00:07:51Um, like these bad boys right here.
00:07:54What do you think of these testicles?
00:08:09I'm sick.
00:08:10Really?
00:08:11No.
00:08:12Emma, what do you think?
00:08:15Honestly?
00:08:16Yeah.
00:08:17I mean, no one really wants to look at balls.
00:08:22Oh my God, you're right.
00:08:36Balls are totally gross.
00:08:40Jacques?
00:08:41Yeah, can you take this one down?
00:08:43No.
00:08:44And those two, and um, yeah, and that one over there.
00:08:52You're kidding.
00:08:53No, my apologies.
00:08:55Oh my God, you're crazy.
00:08:59Oh my God.
00:09:01Oh my God, sorry.
00:09:04Wendy.
00:09:07My name's Wendy.
00:09:09Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
00:09:12Um, Wendy, this is Marlin.
00:09:14We went to art school together.
00:09:16Yeah.
00:09:17Wendy and I are teaching this winter break art camp for at-risk youth just at the rec center
00:09:24down the street.
00:09:25The kids are amazing.
00:09:27Uh, this one girl, Aisha, has more talent at 15 than I like ever had.
00:09:35She like blows my mind every day.
00:09:36Wow.
00:09:37Well, I would love to come and see her work.
00:09:38Yeah, you should.
00:09:39Yeah.
00:09:40Come by any time.
00:09:41That would be an excuse to come see you.
00:09:44I can't believe you're married.
00:09:46I mean, I used to fantasize about having a bubble bath with you.
00:09:49Oh, that's very specific.
00:09:50Well, not naked though.
00:09:51I mean, you're wearing a green bikini.
00:09:53Always green for some reason.
00:09:55You're doing it again.
00:09:56Oh, right.
00:09:57Sorry.
00:09:58Oh, no.
00:09:59Yes?
00:10:00Yeah.
00:10:01I don't know.
00:10:02It seems a little, um, unnecessarily sexualized.
00:10:20Huh?
00:10:21How so?
00:10:24Um, well, you can pretty much see her nipple there and she's filleting a banana.
00:10:33And your problem with this is?
00:10:37Well, it's, it's an ad for, for fruit.
00:10:40Yeah, this is what the client wants.
00:10:42Okay.
00:10:43Have we tried to like gently steer the client in another direction?
00:10:47Yeah, we're gonna stick with a general approach of giving the client what they want.
00:10:54Okay?
00:10:55Yeah, you're the packaging editor, Josh.
00:10:57Just focus on editing the package.
00:11:09Hey.
00:11:10Good meeting?
00:11:11Uh, anybody here hates me.
00:11:14Not me.
00:11:15I find you...amusing.
00:11:17Kelly, what do you think of that ad right there?
00:11:19Uh, that reminds me of Gary's penis.
00:11:21Well, Gary, that's the married guy?
00:11:23Mm-hmm.
00:11:24And, and, and his penis looks like a banana?
00:11:27Yeah, like that one.
00:11:28The one on the right.
00:11:29So, how often would you say you and Emma are having an orgasm?
00:11:34A, once a day, B, twice a day, C, three times a day, or D, you're constantly in an orgasmic fog.
00:11:41Uh, oral counts and anal counts.
00:11:45Well, anal definitely counts.
00:11:46So, don't spare any details.
00:11:48I'm not squeamish.
00:11:49Wait, the, the, those are the options?
00:11:51I mean, the, the minimum in there is, is once a day?
00:11:54Yeah.
00:11:55Why?
00:11:56Well, nothing.
00:11:57It's just, you know, when you've been married for 10 years.
00:12:01Uh, when you, no, see, this is exactly what I've been trying to tell you.
00:12:04This monogamy is just created by a patriarchal society that totally suppresses any sexual promiscuity.
00:12:10It is bullshit.
00:12:11So, what?
00:12:12Like, once a week?
00:12:15Yeah.
00:12:16I mean, that sounds about right, yeah.
00:12:18Are you kidding?
00:12:19What?
00:12:20Dude!
00:12:21I was kidding.
00:12:22You have, you have sex once a week?
00:12:24Why are you suddenly so interested in my sex life?
00:12:26Oh, don't be such a narcissist.
00:12:28I'm interested in everybody's sex life, especially married people.
00:12:31Okay.
00:12:32Wait, so this is, this is research for your, for your affair with Gary, is that?
00:12:39Forget it.
00:12:40I'm gonna figure it out myself.
00:12:42Oh, my God.
00:12:43What do these people want from me?
00:12:47Hello?
00:12:48Kelly speaking.
00:12:49Oh, no.
00:12:58Oh, no.
00:13:24So you've gone back to layering color over text, but this time some of the text
00:13:53is illegible.
00:13:57It's interesting choices, Aisha.
00:14:00Thanks.
00:14:01So, of all your work, is there one that you'd like to try and finish?
00:14:09No thanks.
00:14:10No.
00:14:11Then they'd just be closed.
00:14:14They'd be, like, dead.
00:14:18Okay, that's it for today.
00:14:23I'll see you tomorrow.
00:14:26Everyone grab your folders on the way up.
00:14:28Aisha.
00:14:29This is great work.
00:14:31This is really special.
00:14:34Anyone else seems to think so.
00:14:36Do you care what they think?
00:14:39Trust me, they're jealous.
00:14:50Marklin?
00:14:51What are you doing here?
00:14:52You invited me to see your students work.
00:14:55And I came, even though the term at-risk youth makes me very uncomfortable.
00:14:59Okay.
00:15:00Well, um, you're safe, because they're all gone.
00:15:03I'm just gonna get my stuff in the staff room.
00:15:09Whoa.
00:15:10What have we here?
00:15:12Oh, that's Aisha.
00:15:13That's the student I was telling you about.
00:15:15Well, you weren't kidding.
00:15:16These are terrific.
00:15:17I love the half-finished aesthetic.
00:15:20I know, right?
00:15:21She's amazing.
00:15:23You're amazing.
00:15:24That was weird.
00:15:27Yeah.
00:15:28No, this whole thing's weird.
00:15:29It's weird that I came down here.
00:15:31I should really get back to the gallery.
00:15:33You should come see me there sometime.
00:15:34It wouldn't be as...
00:15:35Weird.
00:15:36Yeah.
00:15:38Um, yeah.
00:15:40I'll come sometime.
00:15:42I'll just stop by.
00:15:44Okay.
00:15:45Okay.
00:15:46What?
00:15:48What?
00:15:49Okay.
00:15:50Okay, I should leave, because I have an erection.
00:15:52Oh, okay.
00:15:53But don't worry, it might not be from the hug.
00:15:54It could be from senior students' great work.
00:15:56It's probably a little of both.
00:15:58But mostly from the hug.
00:15:59Bye.
00:16:00Bye.
00:16:20I have judo in 20 minutes.
00:16:22What?
00:16:23What?
00:16:24What are you thinking about?
00:16:31Not on the list.
00:16:32Not on the list, Nancy.
00:16:33Every time you call me a little bitch, it loses impact.
00:16:37I don't even hear it anymore.
00:16:39It literally has no effect on me!
00:16:41Oh, yeah?
00:16:42How the fucktard?
00:16:43Is that better?
00:16:44What about OCD?
00:16:45Control freak ass?
00:16:46Oh, shit tits!
00:16:47Oh, my God.
00:16:48You do know I can smell your breath from here, right?
00:16:51What did you eat today?
00:16:52Was it somebody's ass?
00:16:54Did you eat someone's ass for lunch?
00:16:56Goddamn!
00:16:57Hey!
00:16:58Oh, my gosh!
00:16:59Josh!
00:17:00What?
00:17:01It's Andrew and Janice!
00:17:02Hey, guys!
00:17:03I want to finish your thought for Josh and Emma.
00:17:05You were saying something about my shit tits.
00:17:08Oh, we're good.
00:17:09Yeah, no, I think we're fine.
00:17:10I think we're okay.
00:17:11Uh, so, guys, how's it going?
00:17:14We're separating.
00:17:17Janice is moving out tomorrow.
00:17:19I'm sorry.
00:17:20Yeah.
00:17:21So, well, why-
00:17:22Why are we separating?
00:17:23Oh, where to begin?
00:17:24Well, you could start with the lies.
00:17:26Mmm, I was going to leave with the fact that you haven't touched me in two years!
00:17:30Yeah, and why would I touch you?
00:17:32All you do is tell lies!
00:17:34I was just going to ask why you guys are shopping together.
00:17:37If you're moving out tomorrow.
00:17:42That's a great fucking question.
00:17:50Are you okay?
00:17:55Yeah, yeah, I'm okay.
00:17:58The kids are devastated.
00:18:00And, um, we're probably going to have to sell the house.
00:18:04And, I'm going to die alone.
00:18:09Lean up and I'll stick.
00:18:13They just, they seemed like the best couple.
00:18:15I know, I know.
00:18:17It's like, I guess things just turn on a dime so quickly.
00:18:20One day they've got that honeymoon glow and the next day-
00:18:23Why did you lie about ejaculating the other day?
00:18:26I don't know!
00:18:29Do we lie to each other?
00:18:31No, we don't lie to each other.
00:18:32We're us, alright?
00:18:33I mean, I, I, I, I, I mean, I, I, I, I don't-
00:18:37Why do you-
00:18:38Do you lie?
00:18:39Do you lie?
00:18:42Uh, I mean, I sort of faked my orgasm too.
00:18:48What?
00:18:49You, you, you-
00:18:50Oh, what?
00:18:51Come on.
00:18:52It's totally normal for a woman to fake it for a guy.
00:18:54That's fucked up!
00:18:55That's not, no, that's, that's like reverse sexism or something.
00:19:00That is a double standard, and I'm not just gonna stand-
00:19:02Oh no, I think you're avoiding the question.
00:19:03Wow.
00:19:07We love each other, right?
00:19:08We're great parents together, we make a great team.
00:19:11It's just married life, you know?
00:19:13I mean, the sex becomes less important, I guess.
00:19:17Yeah, but don't you think it's weird we don't talk about it?
00:19:20I don't, I don't know, I don't know.
00:19:22It's a can of worms.
00:19:24I mean, it's like that mango chicken stir fry you make.
00:19:30How exactly?
00:19:31Ugh.
00:19:32Well, you know, I don't love it.
00:19:35But I eat it, and I don't make a fuss.
00:19:37Because that's just part of the deal.
00:19:43Maybe if I had had cashews?
00:19:45Let's not overreact, okay?
00:19:47We're not Andrew and Janice.
00:19:48We, we can figure this out.
00:19:50We've had many years of sex.
00:19:53Great sex.
00:19:55We know what I'm paying, right?
00:19:57Yeah, that's never been a problem for us, right?
00:19:59I mean, you know, it's not like we haven't sown our oats.
00:20:02I had sex with a reasonable amount.
00:20:04Okay, I know, I know, you don't have to go through the list.
00:20:06I had my fun too.
00:20:07I had, I had my slutty.
00:20:09Yeah, can you, we talked about you not calling it that, can we not?
00:20:12Okay, everything I've ever read, the main complaint about sex is that one person thinks of it more than the other.
00:20:20Okay, well then that's not our problem, right?
00:20:22Because we, we have a shared disinterest in sex.
00:20:25Like a, like a mutual apathy.
00:20:27Yeah.
00:20:29Just, but then...
00:20:33What, what?
00:20:35I don't know, I, it's just, I, this is probably nothing.
00:20:42It's just these past few days I've been thinking a lot about sex.
00:20:45Hey, that's cool.
00:20:47I get it.
00:20:48I mean, well, I've been working out more.
00:20:51I've been, I've been watching what I eat, you know, sort of.
00:20:54It's really, it's about portion control mostly.
00:20:56I'm, oh shit, you're, you've been, you, you've been thinking about the sex of people who aren't me.
00:21:08It's just, we have this one week, this one week to, we could fuck in every room of the house without the kids barging in, but we're just, we're not.
00:21:22Okay, alright, look.
00:21:26We got time, right? Let's not, we got like five more days, right?
00:21:32Yes.
00:21:33I'll work there for this.
00:21:34Let's fix this.
00:21:35Okay, alright.
00:21:36So, like what are we thinking?
00:21:37Like maybe like, like an orgy with like a...
00:21:40Butter.
00:21:41Like a vat of butter.
00:21:43Mom, now I want butter.
00:21:44Mmm.
00:21:45Or I could get like a, that enlargement surgery for my penis, for my little tiny penis.
00:21:49Can you please stop, don't, please.
00:21:50Hey, hey.
00:21:53Whatever it takes.
00:21:56This isn't rocket science.
00:22:00Our sex has become mechanical.
00:22:02It's just, it's just unsurprising.
00:22:04Okay.
00:22:05So let's surprise each other.
00:22:11I'm just not the right person to be giving sex advice, I'm a serial monogamous.
00:22:17Well, wasn't Tom into some weird stuff?
00:22:18Yeah.
00:22:19Didn't you tell me he was into like...
00:22:20Furries.
00:22:21Furries.
00:22:22Then, giant animal costumes that are used as mascots.
00:22:23So, okay, so you would dress up in the mascot costume and have sex?
00:22:28No.
00:22:29No.
00:22:30No.
00:22:31No.
00:22:32No.
00:22:33No.
00:22:34No.
00:22:35He was curious and he, you know, found some websites.
00:22:37I think that's as far as it went.
00:22:38I think that's as far as it went.
00:22:40I just want to do something like...
00:22:41A little surprising.
00:22:42Something he would never expect.
00:22:43Something, I don't know, like adventurous.
00:22:45A little freaky, sexy, fun.
00:22:46Like, I don't know, like a sex swing.
00:22:47A sex swing.
00:22:48A sex swing.
00:22:49You know?
00:22:50No.
00:22:51Yeah.
00:22:52No.
00:22:53No.
00:22:54No.
00:22:55No.
00:22:56No.
00:22:57No.
00:22:58No.
00:22:59No.
00:23:00No.
00:23:01No.
00:23:02No.
00:23:03No.
00:23:04No.
00:23:05No.
00:23:06No.
00:23:07No.
00:23:08No.
00:23:09No.
00:23:10No.
00:23:11No.
00:23:12Like a sex swing.
00:23:15That's a thing, right?
00:23:16Sex swing?
00:23:17I mean, I've never done anything like that.
00:23:19That's...
00:23:20Or, I don't know, like...
00:23:23Like a threesome.
00:23:26A threesome?
00:23:28Maybe.
00:23:29Or not.
00:23:30No, no, no, no, no.
00:23:32It's a good idea.
00:23:33I've just, um...
00:23:35I don't know if we could actually go through with that.
00:23:39Because who would...
00:23:42Like Marlin?
00:23:46No.
00:23:47Obviously not Marlin.
00:23:49That would be a terrible idea, huh?
00:23:51Yeah.
00:23:52A girl would make more sense, probably.
00:23:56Marlin.
00:23:57You sure jumped a Marlin pretty quickly.
00:24:02Are you thinking what?
00:24:06Wait, okay.
00:24:07We trust each other, so we have that.
00:24:10We're friends.
00:24:10Well, I wasn't...
00:24:12Oh.
00:24:15Oh, shit.
00:24:18Shit, no.
00:24:19I am...
00:24:20I am so sorry.
00:24:22No, no, no.
00:24:22Don't be silly.
00:24:23No, I just...
00:24:24That's all.
00:24:24I mean, no, I just mean, theoretically, hypothetically speaking, you would be the perfect candidate if that, well, just, I mean, because with another girl, it could be weird.
00:24:36At least I know with you, Josh is totally not your type.
00:24:40No, I suppose that's a good point.
00:24:42And, uh, like, it's been a little while since you've been with Tom, right?
00:24:48Yeah, yeah.
00:24:50Have been a little lonely, I guess.
00:24:53You've been with guys, you've been with girls.
00:24:57Yeah.
00:24:58Just not at the same time.
00:25:00Oh, yeah.
00:25:02Forget it.
00:25:03I...
00:25:04I'm joking.
00:25:05But it could be fun.
00:25:14Yeah, I mean, it's crazy.
00:25:15It's totally crazy.
00:25:17Yeah, totally crazy.
00:25:18But...
00:25:20Not completely, like, stupid or gross or, you know...
00:25:25Are we doing this?
00:25:27Are we?
00:25:28I don't know.
00:25:28Okay.
00:25:29Are we?
00:25:29I don't know.
00:25:30I mean...
00:25:32Okay.
00:25:35How about this?
00:25:37Um, okay.
00:25:39Uh, come over for dinner?
00:25:42Yes.
00:25:43Tonight?
00:25:44Okay.
00:25:45Just dinner.
00:25:46Like, no expectations.
00:25:48And we'll see what happens.
00:25:55Hmm?
00:25:56Yeah.
00:25:58Yeah.
00:26:00Nope.
00:26:01No way I can't do it.
00:26:02Oh, my God.
00:26:02Can you relax?
00:26:03She might not even be into it.
00:26:05We left it open.
00:26:07Wait.
00:26:07What?
00:26:08No.
00:26:08That...
00:26:09That's...
00:26:09That's worse.
00:26:10What?
00:26:10I gotta try and, like, read her signs?
00:26:12I'm not gonna have a clue what's going on.
00:26:14Oh, my God.
00:26:15I think I might have diarrhea.
00:26:17Do you feel like you have diarrhea?
00:26:19No.
00:26:19I thought this was, like, every man's fantasy.
00:26:21Oh, yeah.
00:26:22Yeah.
00:26:22In...
00:26:23In theory.
00:26:25Oh, my gosh.
00:26:26I...
00:26:26I should be getting a medal for this.
00:26:28This is, like, me being the best wife on the planet.
00:26:30I'm sorry.
00:26:31It's just...
00:26:31It's too much pressure.
00:26:34Okay.
00:26:34Well, you don't have to worry about it, because it's just dinner.
00:26:37She's probably come to her senses.
00:26:42Oh.
00:26:46Do you have to go to the bathroom?
00:26:47I'm good.
00:26:50Are you gonna stand like that?
00:26:51I'm good.
00:26:52Oh, thank you.
00:26:58Can I take your coat?
00:26:59Oh.
00:26:59Um, can I look out?
00:27:00Oh, yeah.
00:27:01It's kind of cold.
00:27:02Oh, my gosh.
00:27:02Your hair looks so good.
00:27:06Hi.
00:27:06Look at this.
00:27:07Thank you so much for your warm wine.
00:27:10So, Wendy.
00:27:11Sup.
00:27:12Sup.
00:27:13I was just nervous.
00:27:15Yeah.
00:27:15Just really nervous.
00:27:17I just feel like I might have...
00:27:19Diarrhea.
00:27:20Right?
00:27:20I don't put on too much makeup.
00:27:25That's what I was gonna say.
00:27:26No.
00:27:27No?
00:27:27No.
00:27:28Okay.
00:27:28Your eyes look amazing.
00:27:29Oh.
00:27:30Your skin.
00:27:31You look so pretty.
00:27:32Thanks.
00:27:34Um, so...
00:27:36Um, Emma, I should say something in the spirit of full disclosure.
00:27:42Um...
00:27:43When we first met, I...
00:27:48Oh, my goodness.
00:27:51I'm so scared of what this might be.
00:27:52Oh, it's nothing.
00:27:53It's nothing.
00:27:53It's nothing.
00:27:54Uh...
00:27:54Okay.
00:27:55I just...
00:27:55When we first met, I kind of had a...
00:27:57Uh...
00:27:58A crush on you.
00:28:00A little.
00:28:00Oh, my gosh.
00:28:03I mean, come on.
00:28:05Who wouldn't?
00:28:06You're so confident and funny and sexy.
00:28:12Oh, I didn't.
00:28:15I mean, you're sexy, too.
00:28:19Huh.
00:28:19I know we said we weren't gonna have any expectations about tonight.
00:28:27Yeah.
00:28:27So...
00:28:27I really, really want to fuck you.
00:28:40Okay, I'm going to take your coat.
00:28:42Thanks.
00:28:42Let's get this off.
00:28:49There you go.
00:28:50Oh, my God.
00:28:58Oh, my God.
00:29:05Mmm.
00:29:06It smells so good.
00:29:09It's my moisturizer.
00:29:11It's from Costco.
00:29:15Oh, my hair is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
00:29:26Trash is cute, too, right?
00:29:33Hello.
00:29:36Do I have consent to go down on you?
00:29:38No.
00:29:39Yes.
00:29:40Yes.
00:29:41Oh, my gosh.
00:29:51Okay.
00:30:06No!
00:30:07Oh, God.
00:30:09Oh, God.
00:30:10Okay.
00:30:12So...
00:30:13so i'm i'm just gonna hang back a little bit here and uh you you just let me know
00:30:23when a good time would be
00:30:25oh my god i'm coming i'm coming i'm coming
00:30:43i don't know what happened to you she just got really intense yeah super intense
00:31:03ah i knew this was a bad idea you knew it was a bad idea what is it my fault it's not my fault
00:31:08no no no no of course not no no i mean it seemed like it was promising at the beginning it seemed
00:31:14like you know something was happening seemed like you weren't it well no i mean yeah well i was i
00:31:24mean because you know it was exciting it was new right it was it was she was very attractive
00:31:28and it was okay so so so what do we do now try something else just you do the surprising this
00:31:44time okay okay good morning lovely morning
00:32:06what's the craziest thing sexually you've ever done craziest thing i ever did yeah
00:32:19i fucked a dead girl once oh my god really no but i would if she was super hot
00:32:26you know what forget it i'm sorry i asked oh and i went to a swingers party one time
00:32:32everyone was having sex everywhere yeah it was dirty sexy though skeevy nasty
00:32:44nasty lounge yeah that's clever right i think it's it's like tongue-in-cheek it's gross
00:32:52something is gross
00:32:54is there really nowhere else we can go baby it's like going for dim sum okay this is not a lot of
00:33:00choice here there's one sex club this is it come on let's go let's be fun
00:33:11so you uh you don't have like a daily like a guest pass available okay okay then i guess um two one
00:33:18one-year memberships okay that will be three hundred dollars each plus a one-time initiation fee of
00:33:25fifty dollars one there's a mandatory twenty seven dollar code check fee charge and of course the
00:33:31cover charge i don't i don't need to know just uh run run that what whatever you need it's fine
00:33:48i think it works yeah no no no i think uh i think this looks promising
00:34:15it's fine
00:34:23excuse me oh oh hi um we're very flattered
00:34:32but we're we're not interested that's not it's not you guys you'd like some cheese
00:34:36yeah of course help yourself he just want some cheese
00:34:44oh my god okay no no what are you two beautiful people drinking tonight oh my god finally hi hi sorry
00:34:54thank you for breaking the ice we're nervous it's our first time never ordered a drink before don't
00:35:01worry we can take it slow ha thank you i'll have a tomato juice please yeah me too cool here's a tip
00:35:09um find the red curtain for the higher end members i think you might get in thank you a red
00:35:17red curtain i mean that looks like a red curtain i mean that looks like a red curtain that's definitely
00:35:23a red curtain higher end should we tell her to bring the tomato juice in there is that i mean
00:35:29i feel bad if we run into her later and just been carrying it around she knows we're high end what
00:35:33would we say to her i told him i'm sorry the marriage was failing and that the only way to save it is to
00:35:39rekindle our sex life by getting our tomato juice in the high-end
00:35:50go ahead
00:36:07do you hear that voice over there ready for you there you go just take your time
00:36:13have fun oh my god oh my god we need to go now we need to leave now why because
00:36:19emma
00:36:24no hey no i i didn't see your name on any of the newsletters hey arthur hey josh
00:36:34hey have you heard from the girls that are they having fun at camp
00:36:36you know we haven't heard a peep but you know what they say when they're at camp no news is good news
00:36:40yeah yeah um are they taking the bus home or are you going to pick them up you know i think picking
00:36:47up is probably the best it's part of the experience dad trust me i am way more embarrassed than you
00:36:55are what makes you assume that well for one thing this isn't real leather that's you know how it stains
00:37:03it's really hard so um i had to use vinyl and it uh just doesn't work with my uh character
00:37:11does mom know oh oh god arthur arthur hey this is none of our business okay we're not we're not going
00:37:18gonna say a word to marge we promise oh go ahead she's right over there
00:37:26oh my god this is not happening this is not happening well i guess i guess now you know um
00:37:33what we were doing when we said we were playing bridge with the wassermans but to tell you the
00:37:41truth we haven't actually seen them since the 80s oh my god dad why are you acting so casual is this
00:37:46not the most mortifying experience of your life i've had worse worse i don't know how we're ever gonna
00:37:57talk again what am i gonna come over and bring the kids and have lunch this is it this is we have
00:38:04to part ways just hang on there judgy judgerton you've seen me naked millions of times not since
00:38:11i was six emma can we please talk please please huh please please hi oh my god wendy i have not
00:38:20stopped thinking about last night okay i don't know what you think happened but something happened and
00:38:25we need to talk about it alone it's you and me what's going on with you what are you doing here
00:38:32don't don't be tom don't be tom tom are you serious that you followed me here that isn't
00:38:38that is a blatant violation of privacy uh i'm sorry didn't you follow us here wendy i followed
00:38:44i'm sorry is this your new girlfriend the one stole you away from me oh wait time
00:38:48i didn't steal anyone i'm not a girlfriend i broke up weeks ago and i told you i am free
00:38:54to fornicate with whomever i choose okay wait is it a guy this is the one you had a threesome with
00:39:00whoa no uh excuse me we didn't even touch each other that i swear to god that was not you watched
00:39:06i'm gonna use my thumbs to crush your eyes they're sucking back you back away from her bubbles
00:39:26what was that oh no that was that was crazy that was my dad yeah i know i know did you pick up on
00:39:33what he was saying about us going up to camp on sunday to pick up the girls he's planning a
00:39:38surprise anniversary party for us i know he is we had issues before but i don't know how we're
00:39:45gonna process this your dad no listen it's i think it's good your mom and dad have an active sex life
00:39:50after all and what have we done to wendy wait wait that's is that our fault i mean she was a relatively
00:39:56normal person before last night i just know before we ran into your parents i think things were
00:40:00we're going okay right there was stuff happening there don't you see our plans keep getting messed
00:40:05up by external forces last night it was wendy tonight was your dad we need something that's just us yes
00:40:13something private right like intimate yeah
00:40:19maybe we should do ecstasy yeah right because i'm so great with the drugs you know i get all in my head
00:40:28messes with me and there was the time when we took the mushrooms and we were camping at rolling river
00:40:32and i i got poison ivy on my butt yeah because you took off all your clothes and you ran through the
00:40:37forest naked it was very freeing well i don't want to be free i don't ever want to leave the house again
00:40:43after what i saw tonight okay okay let's let's try the ecstasy
00:40:50do you know where to get the ecstasy
00:40:57like where do you even like a rave parties i can let you into a rave party like a dark alley you're
00:41:04gonna have to get it in an alley in the dark i got this
00:41:13how do you got it
00:41:14how do you think you don't i got this okay
00:41:30hey yo yo you you look shifty no i'm not i'm not what do you want
00:41:35ah i was wondering if uh if you could score me some x are you a narc
00:41:44what you sound like a really bad narc from the 90s why did i say it wrong
00:41:53whatever can you hook me up
00:41:56what makes you think i have it what i don't no i don't know because you're like a young person
00:42:05you're like you're like a like a modern woman and you're you like to have a good time
00:42:11what so you think i just carry around mdma on my person at work on a thursday
00:42:17oh god now when you say it like that i realize it was stupid ah i'm an idiot i'm sorry forget it
00:42:30so what so all that then was that was just you busting my balls like you're torturing me
00:42:35yeah amusement yeah your eyeballs were twitching it was gross but i kind of liked it bye natasha
00:42:41bye keanu okay shading shading see you tomorrow
00:42:52i'm sad because you said you'd come by the gallery and you never came oh
00:42:56shit okay i'm sorry i just said things have been kind of crazy okay that's enough small talk i mostly
00:43:02came back for these i want these in my gallery now the artist i was showing came by the gallery
00:43:08today and saw that i i took down his scrotums he wasn't happy so he pulled everything now my
00:43:13gallery's empty i desperately need something to show i you'd be saving my ass wait are you kidding
00:43:20you're serious i mean this is incredible i'd have to check with aisha but i'm sure she'd be thrilled
00:43:30oh my god you have no idea what kind of impact this could have on her okay
00:43:34we'll bring them by tomorrow and i'll use as many as i can fit you're serious oh my god hello
00:43:45yeah no i i understand i had an epiphany though open saturday no no balls she's a child
00:43:55is all the water really necessary well yeah if you don't want to die because i read that most mdma
00:44:01related deaths are caused by dehydration so if we're all splayed out on the floor all whacked
00:44:05out on drugs and we can't make it you're kind of ruining the fun oh okay okay okay okay sorry
00:44:14here you see that you see how quickly i forgot everything that i've read about how
00:44:18ecstasy depletes spinal fluid and increases the
00:44:21all right all right here cheers cheers good luck well shut war
00:44:36how about now yeah yeah i think i'm i'm feeling i'm starting to feel something new yeah i'm pretty sure
00:44:57i feel something i think it's working yeah do you believe we thought that was it back on the couch
00:45:07we were not high at the house oh god and it's so sexy i mean we're fine we'll figure it out we're not
00:45:15gonna like sell a house and traumatize our kids we're not gonna like wake up and like hate each other
00:45:21that's not who we are god i feel really good at figuring things out like i know i feel like i could
00:45:26do anything oh my god i feel like we could do anything i feel like everything we you know what
00:45:32we just need everything so i mean what do you feel like we're too serious about the sex stuff
00:45:38when we were in university we said it everywhere we like had sex in my car oh my god my parents
00:45:43in the first kitchen when they were sleeping we pretend you were a girl guide and that i was a
00:45:48hungry oh yeah and then we kiss you oh we kissed all the time oh my god and you dick you are
00:45:55you so much you always said you enjoy my teeth even though it wasn't huge but i have a slim
00:46:00vagina you have a slim vagina you have a slim vagina you have a slim vagina as anyone has ever seen
00:46:04i know it was a perfect fit there's like puzzle pieces that fit together
00:46:08i want to kiss you okay hi god
00:46:10oh my god oh my god oh my god it tastes so good that's my winter mint gum
00:46:30what are you done i can't believe i just did that oh my god
00:46:40it's okay we could just recharge the batteries yeah everything i read said you know there's erectile
00:46:50dysfunction issues on ecstasy i mean we were lucky to get one erection we're not gonna get two i'm sure
00:46:55we can try no please don't do that please don't okay sorry just don't think about it just i'll wait
00:47:01fine i'm really sorry oh my god please don't apologize oh really so you're not like totally
00:47:13frustrated right now no i mean i'm a little frustrated oh my god you are frustrated i knew
00:47:19i knew this i fucked the whole thing up we can still do this no that's see that's pressuring me you're
00:47:25that's putting pressure on me and i don't function well under pressure you know i can you stop yelling
00:47:30at me and you know what i can't stop thinking about that comment you made earlier about my penis
00:47:35when i complimented it uh by calling it not huge oh my god oh no no i'm leaking what i'm leaking
00:47:42spinal fluid it's semen oh i don't feel right it's not spinal fluid i don't i i my head hurts and
00:47:49i'm i'm i'm having like okay okay can you just calm down we're not the couple that yells at each other
00:47:54okay right just calm down when we have a problem we fix it yeah or we compromise i know what that
00:48:03is i know i know what you're doing there if you want to say something just say it to me and when
00:48:07you say that it's like you're saying i know what you're saying it's like you think that you're the
00:48:10only one of us who compromises that's not what i meant mm-hmm okay but maybe we should stop playing
00:48:16games maybe we should just speak our mind great you want me to speak my mother speak my mind calmly
00:48:22speak my i'm losing my fucking mind you know i'm losing it because the kids are coming over from
00:48:28camp and then then we're back to like our normal routine and then then this was our one chance you
00:48:35know our one chance to prove that we could do this that we're not i don't know what like sexually
00:48:39incompatible or something you think i'm not terrified you think i'm not lying in bed at night worried
00:48:45about why we're not fucking that we're gonna end up like andrew and janice in the goddamn grocery store
00:48:50you think it's just you
00:48:56do you not see that my heart is breaking just a little more every single day
00:49:09we're great parents together right and we we got the friendship thing down it's just it's this one piece
00:49:17that we i don't know i mean i think maybe we made a mistake
00:49:28yeah maybe we did yeah wait what are you what are you doing what are you what are you doing i don't know i
00:49:37just gotta clear my head get my thoughts together i'm gonna go to the hotel you can
00:49:44what are you you're gonna what what why why why why why why i don't know i don't know what the
00:49:49fuck to do i don't know i don't think we're gonna i don't think we're gonna get anywhere here tonight with
00:49:54both of us just confused and paranoid paranoid is that what you think you're talking about me right
00:50:05you said we but you meant me you think that i'm being paranoid is that what you're saying
00:50:09please don't go okay there was a mis we're not the couple that does that we don't like walk out on
00:50:15each other in the middle of a fight no no we're not we're not the couple who invites their friend
00:50:19to a threesome and we're not the couple who take ecstasy to try and have sex i know or have crushes
00:50:29on people the week we're supposed to have no no wait a second i'm sorry did you just say that we have
00:50:37crushes i'm i don't i don't it's nothing it's just a stupid fucking crush it's just this timing that
00:50:45obviously is saying something it's just freaking me out whoa who is it
00:50:55it's marlin marlin marlin from art school marlin the gallery thing yes it's stupid oh okay so what
00:51:05you guys all week you guys have been like flirting and stuff no i mean a little
00:51:15maybe okay can i get some details on that just like details about what that means no because
00:51:25that's a really bad idea i think it's actually a really good idea because i need to hear it and you
00:51:29just well i don't know what you're gonna hear because there's also no details i had you want the details
00:51:33yes i had a a daydream about him daydream that's it that like that code for like a sex fantasy
00:51:47uh yeah i guess i guess that's what it is wow yeah wow okay so now you know in this like fantasy did he
00:51:57like kiss you like kiss you in the fantasy yeah inside the fantasy did he kiss you yes wow he did
00:52:06right like it was it like a very like a
00:52:10tongue-y hot kiss well it was in a fantasy so it was like uh yeah you know my fantasy yeah it was a
00:52:19pretty hot kiss with marlin and what else did he do did he do to you in the fantasy i don't think
00:52:25you really want to know no i definitely want to know and i wanted to tell him i just want to know
00:52:29it's cool just tell me what he did to you in the fantasy what he did to me in the fantasy he uh he
00:52:33lifted me up on the desk and he took my panties off i they were much nicer than i was actually wearing
00:52:41you're right and then he that's good came and he stop it it's good it's good i get it you're right
00:52:47that was a really bad idea and and you were right that we are not going to figure this out tonight
00:52:55josh no and you were right that we need space so i'm oh my god i'm giving us some space where are you
00:53:02going josh
00:53:11you fucking nose
00:53:41Oh, dude, you partied on a school night.
00:53:52Wow.
00:53:54Oh, you look really creepy.
00:53:55Super fucking sketchy.
00:53:57It's actually really embarrassing.
00:53:58Hey, Josh, I need you to clean that up and go home.
00:54:03Yeah, well, there it is.
00:54:07Fog of the morning after.
00:54:09You know, I should have warned you.
00:54:10That's what happens when you have an evening of euphoria and crazy sex.
00:54:15Would you stop at the sec?
00:54:16There was no sex, okay?
00:54:18Emma and I, we took the ecstasy because our relationship is falling apart.
00:54:21Because our sex life is a shambles.
00:54:23Right there.
00:54:24Set it.
00:54:26Oh.
00:54:29Okay.
00:54:30Well, first of all, it's called Molly.
00:54:32When you say the ecstasy, it's very embarrassing for both of us.
00:54:36And I'm guessing it's still in your system because it's doing something.
00:54:38That was surprisingly, uh, honest.
00:54:42I'm sorry.
00:54:43Come on, tell me what happened last night.
00:54:48Okay.
00:54:49It was...
00:54:50It was really bad.
00:54:52It was a disaster.
00:54:53She told me that she has a crush on this old flame of hers.
00:54:56Okay.
00:54:57It's totally normal.
00:54:57People have crushes all the time.
00:54:58Yeah, but she's been working with the guy all week.
00:55:00And now she's worried that she's going to maybe, like, do it with him or something.
00:55:04Oh.
00:55:05We spent the night at a dingy motel room.
00:55:07Yeah.
00:55:08That's pretty fucking tragic.
00:55:10Yeah.
00:55:11It's the first time since I met her.
00:55:13I just have no clue what's going on in her head.
00:55:16Yeah.
00:55:18Well, you should probably do something about that.
00:55:20I know.
00:55:22That's what I was thinking.
00:55:23Yeah, maybe like a romantic gesture or something.
00:55:25Hey, you think I should make her jealous.
00:55:28Uh, no.
00:55:29I don't think you should do that.
00:55:30Yeah, because she's never been jealous before.
00:55:31She's not only the jealous type.
00:55:33That's just because I've never posed a threat.
00:55:34Okay, what you're suggesting is juvenile, manipulative, and mean-spirited.
00:55:38Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:38It's going to work.
00:55:39No.
00:55:40Look, I happen to be a master at romantic manipulation, okay?
00:55:43I am not proud of it.
00:55:44Oh, my God.
00:55:44I am so proud of it.
00:55:45I'm just kidding.
00:55:45And what is...
00:55:46You know what I'm saying?
00:55:46This is totally crazy.
00:55:47I recognize this is an unconventional approach.
00:55:49It sounds crazy coming out of my mouth.
00:55:50What are you doing with that phone?
00:55:51But I really think that this is going to work because I feel her slipping away, you know?
00:55:55And I got to do whatever it takes to get her back, right?
00:55:57It doesn't make me a bad person.
00:55:58Does that make me a bad person?
00:55:59It doesn't make you a bad...
00:56:00Oh, my God, Josh.
00:56:01Josh, listen to me.
00:56:02Every single person born after 1990 is trained in these very arts.
00:56:06Tinder, please just put the phone down.
00:56:07Put it down.
00:56:08Hang up the phone.
00:56:11I need you to do this for me.
00:56:13What?
00:56:13No.
00:56:14I'm not touching the phone.
00:56:15Nope.
00:56:16I think it looks really good.
00:56:17Hold on.
00:56:18I'm sorry.
00:56:19Just one second.
00:56:21Thank God you called.
00:56:23Look.
00:56:24I don't want to...
00:56:25Hello?
00:56:26Oh, sorry.
00:56:27Who is this?
00:56:29This is Emma.
00:56:31Who's this?
00:56:32Oh, jeez.
00:56:33I'm so sorry.
00:56:34I think I might have asked...
00:56:35Who is this?
00:56:38It's Kelly from Josh's work.
00:56:42Josh, oh, my God.
00:56:43Come here.
00:56:44I think I might have asked about Emma on your phone.
00:56:46I'm so sorry.
00:56:48Such a dumpslut sometimes.
00:56:50That's good.
00:56:51That's good.
00:56:51Hey.
00:56:52Sorry about that.
00:56:54Hey.
00:56:55How are you feeling after last night?
00:57:02Uh, I don't know.
00:57:04I've been better.
00:57:06What did I say about Marlon?
00:57:08I just, I really don't want to hear about Marlon right now.
00:57:10I know.
00:57:11I'm sorry.
00:57:13I...
00:57:13It was a mistake.
00:57:14I didn't mean to call you.
00:57:15I, uh, I gotta go.
00:57:17Um, we're just gonna go grab some dinner.
00:57:21Oh.
00:57:22Okay.
00:57:23You, you have dinner plans?
00:57:25It's like a private work thing.
00:57:28So, uh, anyway, I gotta go.
00:57:33Bye.
00:57:38Well, that's done.
00:57:45I feel dirty.
00:57:48What did I just do?
00:57:50I believe my words were mean-spirited, juvenile, and manipulative.
00:57:53How could you let me do that?
00:57:56I, I actually warned you.
00:57:58I have a gift.
00:57:59It's got to buy a higher power.
00:58:00There's nothing I can do about it.
00:58:01The situation is 100% on you.
00:58:12Like, it's, it's looking pretty good, right?
00:58:14I mean, we can come back tomorrow and make some last-minute adjustments if we want to,
00:58:19but I don't know.
00:58:19I think we're pretty much, we're ready to go.
00:58:24You got any dinner plans?
00:58:27You know I'm married, right?
00:58:29So what the fuck is wrong with you?
00:58:32I, I, I thought that three of us could grab some dinner.
00:58:35You, me, and Josh, if you don't already have plans.
00:58:38But, uh, really forget it.
00:58:41I'm, I'm, I'm sorry.
00:58:43No.
00:58:44You know what?
00:58:45I don't even want to have dinner with you.
00:58:47Either of you.
00:58:47I, I hate dinner.
00:58:49I, uh, totally was, was joking.
00:58:52I don't even eat.
00:58:54So that's, whatever I did, I didn't mean it.
00:58:56I'm truly sorry.
00:58:57And please don't be mad at me.
00:59:00No, it's not you.
00:59:01I'm really sorry.
00:59:04I just made everything really awkward.
00:59:07Well, welcome to my world.
00:59:09The, the world of awkward.
00:59:12Awkward world.
00:59:13The, the wonderful world of awkward.
00:59:15Just stop.
00:59:16Look, Josh and I just have, we're just going through something right now, so we can't go
00:59:22for dinner.
00:59:23It's just, we've always been able to talk it through.
00:59:26Always.
00:59:27Yeah, I believe it.
00:59:30You can eat that.
00:59:32And, but, I, he screwed up.
00:59:36I told him I had a crush.
00:59:38You have a crush?
00:59:40I told him I was having intense sexual fantasies about you when we were in an ecstasy-fueled
00:59:44meltdown, teeming with paranoia and anxiety.
00:59:49I was just a horrible person.
00:59:52Stupid person.
00:59:54Well, he's not exactly being a saint.
00:59:55Like, you know, trying to make you jealous with that phone call tonight with that girl
01:00:01from work.
01:00:02Now, when you say fantasy-
01:00:04Wait, you think he was trying to make me jealous, like on purpose?
01:00:08Yeah.
01:00:09Seemed pretty obvious from what you were saying.
01:00:11But when you say sexual, what exactly are we doing?
01:00:16That is so unlike him.
01:00:20That's, I can't believe you would do that.
01:00:22I mean, that's something I did in eighth grade when I was an idiot.
01:00:29It's so mean.
01:00:32Oh my God.
01:00:37Oh my God.
01:00:38Am I?
01:00:39Is he an idiot?
01:00:41Am I married to an idiot?
01:00:42Have I been married to an idiot for like ten years and didn't know it?
01:00:45I mean, all is fair in love and war.
01:00:48Or so they say.
01:00:49I mean, I personally don't advocate for idiocy in love or-
01:00:57I mean, I don't know how I could have not seen that, though.
01:01:00You could fight fire with fire.
01:01:02I know.
01:01:04Make him jealous, too.
01:01:07Oh my God.
01:01:10I'll be back.
01:01:11Hey, was I wearing anything specific in the-
01:01:15In the-
01:01:16It's a blessing, man.
01:01:19But, you know, I'm just so good at it.
01:01:21I look so cute doing it.
01:01:22Yeah.
01:01:23Oh shit.
01:01:24She looks pissed.
01:01:25Uh, okay.
01:01:26Well, I'm gonna-
01:01:26I'm gonna hang back.
01:01:27Honey, look.
01:01:29I know.
01:01:30But-
01:01:31Ow!
01:01:32You said you slapped me?
01:01:34Just with a mitten.
01:01:35What is wrong with you?
01:01:37Trying to make me jealous?
01:01:39Is that-
01:01:40That's what we are now?
01:01:41No, look.
01:01:41Like, 12-year-olds?
01:01:42I regressed.
01:01:43I did something stupid.
01:01:44I know that.
01:01:45But it's because I'm out of my mind.
01:01:46And I didn't know what to do.
01:01:47But don't you see?
01:01:48You saw through that bullshit.
01:01:50You know me better than anybody.
01:01:51You saw right through it.
01:01:52You still gave me.
01:01:53No, but I didn't.
01:01:54I never would have known if Marlon didn't say that you were doing this stupid thing.
01:01:59Marlon?
01:02:00So are you-
01:02:02So you're just with Marlon now?
01:02:04I was at the gallery, setting up for the show.
01:02:07You know, don't turn this into-
01:02:08Hold on, I'm trying to understand how that conversation must have played out.
01:02:11So you would have had to have, like, told him about our issues, about our private, personal, sexual issues?
01:02:16We were having dinner.
01:02:18I was upset.
01:02:20I had to talk to somebody.
01:02:21I see.
01:02:22I get- I get what this is.
01:02:24You, uh, you- I made you jealous, and so now you're making me jealous.
01:02:31Oh, my God.
01:02:34Seriously?
01:02:35This is crazy.
01:02:37That was Marlon's suggestion.
01:02:39Why does every man suddenly think that that's a good idea?
01:02:42Marlon suggested that you should make me jealous, right?
01:02:46That's what you're saying?
01:02:47He suggested that you make me jealous.
01:02:49Can we have a conversation, like a normal human conversation?
01:02:53When did we transform into crazy people?
01:02:56And by we, I mean you, what is-
01:02:59Can I say something?
01:02:59Tell me the truth.
01:03:02Did Marlon come over to the house after I left last night?
01:03:05Oh, my God.
01:03:07Did he, like, did he kiss you?
01:03:09Did he- what was it?
01:03:10Did he lift you up on the desk and pull off your panties and penit-
01:03:13Yes, yes, he did.
01:03:14Yes.
01:03:15We had angry, angry sex on our marital bed.
01:03:18And he- he drilled me so hard.
01:03:21And I got- I got hungry.
01:03:22No, no, then I ordered pizza.
01:03:24Yeah, yeah, this is-
01:03:25I banged the pizza guy, too.
01:03:27And then there was also a plumber.
01:03:29And the plumber did that thing, that thing that they do in the pornos where all the jizz all over my-
01:03:38I couldn't even see.
01:03:39And it was, like, all the things in all the pornos.
01:03:44Wow.
01:03:44Are you seeing-
01:03:45Of course I didn't do anything.
01:03:47I don't know.
01:03:49I don't know- I don't know what to think.
01:03:52You're walking away?
01:03:56You're getting in your car?
01:03:59You're starting your car?
01:04:04And you're driving away.
01:04:22Jesus, fuck.
01:04:31What are you doing here on a Saturday?
01:04:32Mm-hmm.
01:04:36Wait, don't you have your wife's gallery show-y thing tonight?
01:04:39You're going to that, right?
01:04:40No.
01:04:41Tell me you're going to that.
01:04:44Okay.
01:04:45So, if you're not going to go see your wife tonight, what are you going to do?
01:04:50Oh, thinking I'd order Indian food, watch some TV, possibly kill myself.
01:04:56All right.
01:04:57You're coming to a party with me.
01:04:58Come on.
01:04:59That is- There's no way that that is happening.
01:05:02Yeah, you need the distraction.
01:05:04Yeah.
01:05:05You know what?
01:05:05I'm just going to stick with the suicide plan.
01:05:07Thanks, though, for offering.
01:05:09It's going to be fun.
01:05:11Yeah.
01:05:11A bunch of millennials posting photos of themselves?
01:05:14No, thank you.
01:05:15No, it's actually going to be a bunch of hipsters thinking craft beer out of mason jars.
01:05:20Oh, my God.
01:05:20That's so much worse.
01:05:21You got your car with you?
01:05:27Yeah.
01:05:28Why?
01:05:29Great.
01:05:29You're going to take me to the party.
01:05:32Come on.
01:05:32You're not going to get these back until you come with me.
01:05:37See where it's going?
01:05:39Let's go.
01:05:42It's really gross.
01:05:44You can just keep all that stuff.
01:05:46I don't need those things.
01:05:47Let's go, Josh.
01:05:48Josh, where the hell are you?
01:06:00You're not at the motel.
01:06:01You're not at home.
01:06:02Your car's not in the driveway.
01:06:03I need to get back to the gallery.
01:06:06Just can you please call me back?
01:06:10Shit.
01:06:18Ah, okay.
01:06:24You're her husband.
01:06:25Congratulations.
01:06:27Another new husband.
01:06:28You want some art to celebrate.
01:06:29I always, always appreciate it when you buy something with each.
01:06:32Because I think we've still got a couple paintings.
01:06:35That one might be available.
01:06:36I'm not sure.
01:06:37This one I just sold for an exorbitant amount of money.
01:06:40That guy did not seem to get back to the hotel.
01:06:45Nobody believes the artist is 15.
01:06:46She's selling, like, hotcakes.
01:06:49Which is a very confusing expression,
01:06:52because I don't know about you,
01:06:54but after, like, one hotcake,
01:06:56I'm totally full.
01:07:03I'm so sorry.
01:07:04I have to get out of here.
01:07:07Yeah, I'll walk you.
01:07:09Yeah.
01:07:09Okay, look, I got you here safe now and I'm going now, okay?
01:07:22Okay.
01:07:23Put your arm around me.
01:07:24What?
01:07:25Just put your arm around me.
01:07:26Why are you doing that?
01:07:27I don't think that's possible.
01:07:27Because...
01:07:28He's just...
01:07:29He's a married guy.
01:07:32Stop staring.
01:07:32Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:07:35Stop it.
01:07:35Stop staring at me.
01:07:36What?
01:07:36Okay, I just need you to keep your eyes on me, all right?
01:07:39Keep your eyes on me.
01:07:40Keep your eyes on me and just look at me as if I'm like, I'm super hot.
01:07:43Oh, my God.
01:07:44Just do it.
01:07:44Okay, I'm sorry.
01:07:45After all the shit you gave me about playing games...
01:07:48What the hell?
01:07:49Because you are old.
01:07:51Then you should know better.
01:07:52Oh.
01:07:53Oh, my God.
01:07:53Please, Josh.
01:07:54Come on.
01:07:56It's about damage control tonight.
01:07:58I really need your help.
01:07:59Things all over at Rocky with Gary and I just need to nudge back in there.
01:08:03I thought your generation was supposed to be, like, evolved and, like, woke.
01:08:06Don't say woke.
01:08:07What?
01:08:08Oh, my God.
01:08:08You are so embarrassing.
01:08:09Oh, my God.
01:08:12All right, game one.
01:08:13What?
01:08:14Grab a tip.
01:08:15No, I'm not...
01:08:16Why are you?
01:08:16I'm not doing this.
01:08:18No way.
01:08:18Fine.
01:08:23I'm not doing this.
01:08:23I'm not doing this.
01:08:27Burn me up.
01:08:30You've got to...
01:08:32Burn me up.
01:08:36Burn me up.
01:08:39You've got to...
01:08:40Burn me up.
01:08:44Burn me up.
01:08:46Oh, my God.
01:08:47You've got to...
01:08:48She's right.
01:08:49Burn me up.
01:08:50Burn me up.
01:08:50Burn me up.
01:08:51What do you say?
01:08:52Burn me up.
01:08:52Burn me up.
01:08:54Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.
01:08:57You've got to...
01:08:57Oh, my God.
01:08:58No, no, no, no.
01:08:59What's the difference?
01:09:00I don't know.
01:09:00You never fucking listen to me.
01:09:02I swear I fucking hate you about you.
01:09:05Get the fuck out of my life.
01:09:07Burn me up.
01:09:07Burn me up.
01:09:08Burn me up.
01:09:09Burn me up.
01:09:09Burn me up.
01:09:10Burn me up.
01:09:11Burn me up.
01:09:11Burn me up.
01:09:12Burn me up.
01:09:13Hey, Kelly, wait.
01:09:21I'm fine.
01:09:22Could you just hold up?
01:09:23No, it's fine, Josh.
01:09:24Leave me alone.
01:09:25Okay, just take a breath.
01:09:31I just wish we could go back to the way we were a week ago.
01:09:36I mean, sex was non-existent, but we didn't care.
01:09:43I mean, it wasn't perfect, but at least it was happy.
01:09:49We were happy.
01:09:51Every relationship I've ever had ended because the passion fizzled out.
01:09:56And the sex always suffers.
01:09:58Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.
01:10:02I've never been able to make it stick.
01:10:06And look at me, I'm alone.
01:10:12So what?
01:10:12Do you want more?
01:10:14No, no, I've had enough.
01:10:16Trust me.
01:10:16No, you need more.
01:10:17No, don't do that.
01:10:18Oh, that's not good.
01:10:20I know.
01:10:24Uh...
01:10:25God.
01:10:27Hang on.
01:10:27Just give me a minute.
01:10:31Hey, stop texting.
01:10:34Stop texting.
01:10:35I'm right here.
01:10:42I'll take that.
01:10:49Here's some shit.
01:10:49I'm sorry.
01:10:56I'm not good at this sort of thing.
01:10:59Is that, are you, is that a, like, maybe, are you thinking of, you're not thinking of kissing
01:11:03me, are you?
01:11:05Just...
01:11:05Uh, maybe I am.
01:11:11Oh, my God.
01:11:13You are...
01:11:13I mean, I...
01:11:14Uh, wow, that's...
01:11:16No, I...
01:11:17Why?
01:11:20Wait, did you want to kiss me?
01:11:24No, you are...
01:11:25You are...
01:11:25Because you're...
01:11:26Well, you're clearly not in the appropriate headspace to kiss anybody right now.
01:11:30What are you trying to say?
01:11:31And...
01:11:32Well, neither am I.
01:11:33I mean, I'm not in that space either, okay?
01:11:35Neither am I.
01:11:36I think you just made a pretty good argument.
01:11:42Well, any woman or man would be lo...
01:11:45Okay, wow.
01:12:03That was...
01:12:04Wow.
01:12:08Thanks.
01:12:10I took an online course.
01:12:11If that's any indication of what sex would be like with you, it would be like that.
01:12:20Yeah, of course it would be.
01:12:22Of course, because I'm in a vulnerable place and everything's raw and, um, and of course it's
01:12:30great right now, right?
01:12:32Because you're new and things with me and Josh are...
01:12:37It's probably this really distorted filter.
01:12:41So, no more kissing?
01:12:47Oh, sorry.
01:12:48Yep.
01:12:50Oh, gosh.
01:12:51Morning, sexy.
01:13:05Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:13:24Would you relax?
01:13:26We made out and you filled me up a little.
01:13:28That was it.
01:13:29Oh, I'm...
01:13:30I'm...
01:13:31I'm a monster.
01:13:32I'm a horrible person.
01:13:33I've done a very, very, very bad thing.
01:13:36Dude, you were trying to cheer me up, okay?
01:13:39I was all conflicted over the Gary thing and you were just helping me move on.
01:13:43You're a good friend.
01:13:44I've ruined everything forever.
01:13:45Um, and I'm in love with you.
01:13:58Oh.
01:14:03Hey, Kelly, I'm...
01:14:05I don't know what to say.
01:14:09I had no idea.
01:14:12Well, things between you and Emma look like they're falling apart, so...
01:14:17I just wanted you to know I'm here.
01:14:21I mean, we have fun together.
01:14:23We get along.
01:14:24I'm super fun.
01:14:29I think you could do a lot worse.
01:14:32Oh.
01:14:33God, no.
01:14:34I mean, of course.
01:14:35Worse.
01:14:36Look, you're...
01:14:37You're amazing.
01:14:38I know.
01:14:40So.
01:14:46I'm...
01:14:46I'm in love with Emma.
01:14:48She's the love of my life.
01:14:50I'm sorry, what was that?
01:14:52She...
01:14:53She's the one.
01:14:55She's always been the one for me.
01:14:57I'm...
01:14:57I want to be with her.
01:15:00Forever.
01:15:01I mean, no matter what.
01:15:01Tell me again.
01:15:07Oh, my God.
01:15:08You...
01:15:09You're fucking with me again!
01:15:11Whoa!
01:15:12It worked!
01:15:13You know what?
01:15:15You...
01:15:15You know you have a problem?
01:15:17You have a series of problems.
01:15:18You're disturbed.
01:15:19Um, I just saved your marriage.
01:15:21So you're welcome.
01:15:22Please.
01:15:22You don't even believe in marriage.
01:15:24No, just because I think monogamy is a fundamentally flawed and antiquated construct doesn't mean
01:15:29it's bullshit for everyone.
01:15:30And you have to go pick up your offspring.
01:15:34Hey, is this room on your credit card?
01:15:37Yeah, why?
01:15:38Great.
01:15:38I'm gonna order room service.
01:15:41Oh, hey.
01:15:43Hey.
01:15:43Hey, psst.
01:15:44Huh?
01:15:45Happy anniversary.
01:15:49Oh, shit.
01:15:51Right.
01:15:51Uh, what, what, what, what, what?
01:16:05What, oh, shit.
01:16:09Oh, shit.
01:16:10Josh?
01:16:29Em, we gotta go.
01:16:40We're gonna be late.
01:16:44Em?
01:16:59Wendy, what the fuck?
01:17:07Where's Josh?
01:17:10I'm sorry, I just, I didn't mean to trick you.
01:17:13I just didn't know how I was to get you alone.
01:17:15I needed to talk to you.
01:17:16Now?
01:17:17In a motel?
01:17:19Well, you said you'd never had sex on a swing before, right?
01:17:26Oh, my God, Jesus.
01:17:27Listen, that I, Wendy, I was just, like, spitballing.
01:17:32You had said you wanted to try a swing,
01:17:35and Josh had never done that for you,
01:17:38and I think, I think things between you are broken.
01:17:42Actually, my relationship with Josh
01:17:45is the only thing that isn't broken.
01:17:48Wendy, I'm so sorry
01:17:50for fucking everything up between us, okay?
01:17:53I'm really sorry.
01:17:54You came alive that night, and you woke me up.
01:17:56And I know you felt something, too.
01:17:58Just give me one more chance.
01:18:01I didn't.
01:18:02I was faking.
01:18:03I'm sorry.
01:18:04I didn't.
01:18:05And we already tried that,
01:18:07and look where it got us.
01:18:08Look at this.
01:18:09This is weird.
01:18:11Okay, so, fine.
01:18:13So you just want to make out a little, or?
01:18:15No!
01:18:16No!
01:18:17Well,
01:18:17What about the sex swing?
01:18:21You have no idea how hard it was for me to put up that thing.
01:18:24I don't, I don't want to make out.
01:18:25I don't want to have sex on the sex swing.
01:18:27Oh, I just want,
01:18:29I just want to erase everything
01:18:31and have my friend back.
01:18:34Okay?
01:18:34Can I please have my friend back?
01:18:37Like, without the sex stuff?
01:18:40Please.
01:18:40Yes, you can leave your friend back.
01:18:47You know,
01:18:48it was maybe once in a while,
01:18:50down the road,
01:18:52we're really drunk sometime in the virus, right?
01:18:55No, no.
01:18:57Not gonna happen.
01:18:58Not gonna happen.
01:18:59If I go to leave,
01:19:03you promise you're not gonna punch me in the throat?
01:19:07You promise I will not punch you in the throat.
01:19:12To really push.
01:19:14Tricky one.
01:19:26Dawn!
01:19:27Gracie!
01:19:32Surprise!
01:19:37Daddy!
01:19:38Hey!
01:19:39Happy anniversary!
01:19:40Were you surprised?
01:19:41Yes, I was surprised.
01:19:43Where's mommy?
01:19:45That's,
01:19:46I'm gonna tell you,
01:19:47in one sec.
01:19:48So just hold,
01:19:49hold on.
01:19:51Wow,
01:19:51Arthur.
01:19:53Worth a surprise.
01:19:54Well,
01:19:55I thought it'd be good for you guys to come back here.
01:19:57Old memories.
01:20:00So,
01:20:01where's my Emma?
01:20:03Ha!
01:20:04Right.
01:20:05Once,
01:20:05I will get to that.
01:20:07Hi, everybody!
01:20:08Hi!
01:20:08Thank you for being here.
01:20:09Thank you for being here.
01:20:10Oh,
01:20:10hello.
01:20:11So,
01:20:12oh,
01:20:13that seems
01:20:14unnecessary.
01:20:17So,
01:20:18it's really,
01:20:18it's unexpected
01:20:19to see you all here.
01:20:21This is,
01:20:21it's been a long time
01:20:23since I've been in this room
01:20:24and,
01:20:24you know,
01:20:25seeing all your familiar faces here,
01:20:27it's weird.
01:20:28It's like,
01:20:28because it's out of context.
01:20:30Dad,
01:20:30you're being super awkward.
01:20:35Seriously,
01:20:36where's mom?
01:20:38Mom.
01:20:39Where's mom?
01:20:41So,
01:20:42I bet you're all
01:20:43wondering where Emma is.
01:20:45Funny story.
01:20:45You know how sometimes
01:20:51when you wake up,
01:20:53right?
01:20:55So,
01:20:55Emma,
01:20:55so this is,
01:20:57this is a good one.
01:20:58So,
01:20:58when Emma,
01:20:59well,
01:21:00she wakes up
01:21:01and,
01:21:02I,
01:21:04look,
01:21:06she's here.
01:21:07She just pulled up.
01:21:08All the rubber?
01:21:09Everybody wait here?
01:21:10Oh,
01:21:11it's time.
01:21:13Mom's here.
01:21:14Party begins.
01:21:14Yay!
01:21:15I went by the house
01:21:24to pick you up.
01:21:24I know,
01:21:25it's a long story.
01:21:27I'll tell you later.
01:21:28Okay.
01:21:29Mom,
01:21:31Wendy told me
01:21:32that all our friends
01:21:32and family are in there.
01:21:35I guess you were right
01:21:36about my dad's big plan.
01:21:40I,
01:21:40I have to tell you something.
01:21:43I,
01:21:43I made out with,
01:21:45Kelly last night.
01:21:48That,
01:21:48I might have touched
01:21:50your boobs a little.
01:21:52Different Kelly.
01:21:53Oh,
01:21:54but I only did it
01:21:55because I thought that,
01:21:56that you slept with Marlon.
01:21:58I didn't sleep with Marlon.
01:22:00I,
01:22:00I know,
01:22:01I know,
01:22:02I,
01:22:02I,
01:22:02I know that now.
01:22:03Of course you,
01:22:04of course you didn't sleep with Marlon.
01:22:06Idiot.
01:22:07I'm so sorry.
01:22:13Just shut up.
01:22:14I love you.
01:22:20We've,
01:22:21really messed things up there,
01:22:23didn't we?
01:22:23That was,
01:22:23that was all crazy.
01:22:24You saw my parents
01:22:25having group sex.
01:22:28It's a metaphor.
01:22:29Yeah,
01:22:30the sex club
01:22:31that we went to.
01:22:33That weird room.
01:22:34Oh my God,
01:22:35that was so weird.
01:22:36The bunny lady.
01:22:37Yes.
01:22:37Those horse guys.
01:22:39Oh yeah,
01:22:40oh,
01:22:40by the way,
01:22:41they're,
01:22:41they're here.
01:22:42Your dad must do.
01:22:44For the love of God,
01:22:45why is no one turning this off?
01:22:48Do you know where we are?
01:22:50Yeah.
01:22:51This is the,
01:22:52this is the exact spot.
01:22:53What?
01:22:53Oh my God,
01:22:54yeah,
01:22:55it was,
01:22:55it was disco night.
01:22:57Mm-hmm.
01:22:58I was like so.
01:22:59You went back to your cabin.
01:23:00You were walking back.
01:23:02You tapped me on the shoulder
01:23:03and I turned around
01:23:05and you leaned in
01:23:06with this confidence.
01:23:18Our teens,
01:23:20our 20s.
01:23:21God.
01:23:22we're not those people anymore.
01:23:26No,
01:23:27we're not.
01:23:29Mommy!
01:23:30Mommy!
01:23:31Hey,
01:23:32you guys.
01:23:35Oh!
01:23:41Hey.
01:23:43Oh!
01:23:45All right.
01:23:45No,
01:23:46that's what we're playing.
01:23:47Oh,
01:23:48you guys.
01:23:49Daddy,
01:23:50you should stop saying that word
01:23:52because we can hear everything you say.
01:23:54Oh,
01:23:55dear.
01:23:55That,
01:23:56no,
01:23:56that's not,
01:23:57that's not good.
01:23:59What's a sex club?
01:24:00I've got you down to a science,
01:24:13but you don't stand a chance.
01:24:17You're playing tricks,
01:24:19girl,
01:24:20you can't deny it,
01:24:22but you don't stand a chance.
01:24:25You've got to butter me up.
01:24:37Don't you hurt my precious ego,
01:24:41you'll know what to do.
01:24:44Don't go saying things you'll be nasty unless you'll follow through.
01:24:57You've got to butter me up.
01:24:59You've got to butter me up.
01:25:06You've got to butter me up.
01:25:12Butter me up.
01:25:15You've got to butter me up.
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