00:00My name is Celine. I am 34 years old.
00:05When I was a child, I didn't talk much, and I didn't have many friends.
00:12My parents were very strict.
00:15They said no playing, no friends, no hobbies.
00:20I stayed at home all day.
00:23I wanted to play with other kids, but my parents said stay inside.
00:28I didn't go to kindergarten.
00:31When I started school, I was scared.
00:34I asked myself, how will I talk to other kids?
00:39But soon, I made some friends.
00:42I stayed quiet at school.
00:45I wanted to join art classes.
00:48I loved drawing, but my parents said no.
00:51Focus on your studies.
00:53Art is not important.
00:54After school, I went to college.
00:58I met a boy named Simon.
01:01He was tall and funny.
01:03He made me laugh.
01:05He said, you are so beautiful, Celine.
01:08I felt special when I was with him.
01:11We talked for hours.
01:14He told me, you are my best friend.
01:18I wanted to study and get a good job, but Simon didn't like that.
01:23He said, why do you need a degree?
01:27You can marry me.
01:29I was 18 years old, and I was in love.
01:33I thought Simon would take care of me.
01:36He asked me to marry him.
01:39He said, let's start a family.
01:42I was so happy, I stopped going to college.
01:48I gave up my dreams.
01:50I thought love was more important than school.
01:54We got married when I was only 19 years old.
01:58At first, everything was good.
02:01We were happy.
02:02We had a daughter.
02:04Her name was Judy.
02:06She was small and sweet.
02:08But after two years, things began to change.
02:13Simon told me, you can't wear those clothes, Celine.
02:18Go and change them.
02:20He didn't like my tattoos or short hair.
02:24He said, change your style.
02:27I stopped meeting my friends.
02:30Simon said, you don't need them.
02:33Stay home with our daughter.
02:34Simon started coming home late.
02:38He said, I was with my friends.
02:41I felt lonely.
02:43I wanted to talk to him, but he did not listen.
02:47One night, he got angry.
02:49He shouted at me.
02:51He said, you are not a good wife.
02:54I cried.
02:55One day, Simon hit me.
02:57I couldn't believe it.
02:59I cried all night.
03:01I wanted to leave, but I was scared.
03:04I went to my parents.
03:06I said, please help me.
03:09But they said, you are married, Celine.
03:12Stay with your husband.
03:14So I went back to Simon.
03:16I told myself things would get better.
03:20I got pregnant again.
03:22This time, I had a son.
03:25His name was Tom.
03:26He looked just like me.
03:28I loved him so much.
03:30Simon did not come to the hospital.
03:34When I came home, he said, why are you here so soon?
03:39I felt hurt.
03:41Simon had a girlfriend.
03:43He didn't hide it.
03:45He told me, she loves me more than you.
03:48I felt small and unimportant.
03:51I wanted to leave, but I could not.
03:55I had no job, no money, and I had two children to care for.
04:02Three months later, Simon joined the army.
04:06He left me alone with the kids.
04:09He said, you can manage, Celine.
04:11I could not believe what I was hearing.
04:16I cried every day.
04:18My father died during this time.
04:21My mother moved to another country.
04:24I was alone.
04:26Simon called me from the army.
04:29He said, I found someone new.
04:32My heart broke.
04:33I couldn't believe it.
04:35I asked why.
04:37He said, I am happier with her.
04:40Five months later, Simon called again.
04:46He said, I made a mistake, Celine.
04:50Please take me back.
04:52I still loved him.
04:54I said, okay.
04:55We tried to fix our marriage, but Simon didn't change.
05:00He still hurt me with his words.
05:03Now we have been married for 16 years.
05:07Simon tries to be better.
05:09But he still hurts me.
05:12I often think about my life.
05:15Why did I forgive him so many times?
05:18Why did I stay?
05:20I am 34 years old now.
05:23I am not the same person I used to be.
05:27I am stronger, but I feel tired sometimes.
05:31I feel like I don't exist.
05:33I want to find happiness for myself and my children.
05:38Every morning, I wake up early.
05:42I look at my children.
05:44Judy is 8 years old now.
05:46Tom is 5 years old.
05:49I tell myself, be strong for them.
05:52I cook breakfast.
05:54I pack Judy's lunch for school.
05:57Tom stays home with me.
05:59But some days are very hard.
06:01I feel tired.
06:04I feel sad.
06:05I ask myself, how did my life become like this?
06:11One day, my neighbor knocked on my door.
06:14Her name is Sarah.
06:18She smiled and said,
06:20Hi, Celine.
06:21Do you want to come over for tea?
06:24I wanted to say no.
06:26I was scared Simon would get angry.
06:28But I went.
06:30I needed someone to talk to.
06:33Sarah said,
06:34You are not alone, Celine.
06:36I am here for you.
06:38Her words made me cry.
06:39I didn't feel so alone anymore.
06:43Sarah gave me an idea.
06:46She said,
06:47Why don't you start working from home?
06:50I thought about it.
06:52Simon didn't want me to work outside.
06:55But maybe I could do something small.
06:58I started baking cakes and selling them.
07:01At first, it was hard.
07:04I didn't know if I could do it.
07:06But I worked hard.
07:07My cakes were good.
07:09People started ordering more.
07:12For the first time in years,
07:14I felt proud of myself.
07:17I thought,
07:18I can do this.
07:20One day,
07:21Simon came home angry.
07:24He shouted,
07:25Why are you baking?
07:27You don't need to work.
07:29I looked at him and said,
07:31I need to do this for me and for the kids.
07:34I will not stop.
07:36Simon was shocked.
07:37He said nothing.
07:39Life didn't change overnight.
07:42Simon still gets angry sometimes.
07:45But I started to set rules.
07:49I told him,
07:51I will not allow you to hurt me anymore.
07:54If you hit me again,
07:56I will leave.
07:58He didn't believe me at first.
08:00But I stayed strong.
08:02I knew I had to protect myself and my children.
08:06I started meeting new people.
08:09I started doing small things I used to love.
08:12I cut my hair short again.
08:15I wore colorful clothes.
08:18My daughter said,
08:20Mom, you look so happy.
08:23Her words made me smile.
08:24I want a safe and happy life for my children.
08:29I want to feel free.
08:31I don't know if Simon will ever change.
08:34But I know I have changed.
08:37I am not the same scared girl I was before.
08:41If you are reading my story,
08:44I want you to know that you are strong.
08:47You can survive hard times.
08:51Don't give up on yourself.
08:53If you liked this story,
08:56please like, comment, share, and subscribe.
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