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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00...married.
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:08Your place or mine.
00:00:09I'm not staying in a doghouse.
00:00:12Ahem.
00:00:13Can you guys just keep it down? I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:00:22Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?
00:00:29She's my sister.
00:00:30I don't care. That violates our agreement.
00:00:32How?
00:00:33What the fuck?
00:00:36What?
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Don't walk around.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite.
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:00:43I fucking hate you.
00:00:45I fucking hate you more.
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well?
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:01:00Wait.
00:01:01What are you doing?
00:01:02That is an original.
00:01:03I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:01:06Oh, fine.
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:13You're treating me like shit.
00:01:16That's from the Renaissance.
00:01:17You are history's worst nightmare.
00:01:19I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:20We signed a contract.
00:01:21For an arranged marriage.
00:01:22Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:27You are such a simpleton.
00:01:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:01:32Wait.
00:01:33Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:01:35I tried to get along with you.
00:01:36You brought this onto yourself.
00:01:37I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:01:40Right back at you.
00:01:42I fucking hate you.
00:01:43I hate you.
00:01:44I fucking hate you more.
00:02:06So, you were arrested.
00:02:09Again.
00:02:10To be fair,
00:02:13we thought I was leaving.
00:02:14We'll just swim there.
00:02:16There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:19It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters.
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me,
00:02:27I wouldn't have came.
00:02:31Come on, Gucci. Come on.
00:02:33Good boy.
00:02:41Come on, Gucci. Let's go.
00:02:43Hey, Amelia.
00:02:45Hey, Jake.
00:02:51Come on, Gucci. Let's go.
00:02:52You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:03:02It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:03:07The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:09I make my own money.
00:03:12Oh, you see, you see.
00:03:14Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:16I am the spokesperson for Mantho.
00:03:18That means free underwear for life.
00:03:20For life.
00:03:22Some parents would be proud.
00:03:23Yeah?
00:03:24Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:28You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:32Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:39Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:03:41And don't be late.
00:03:44Bye, Dad.
00:03:54Excuse me.
00:04:04Hello, my Gucci.
00:04:06Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:04:09He used to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:14Like you, Amelia.
00:04:17Good one, Romulus.
00:04:23These are great.
00:04:37I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:39Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:42No problem.
00:04:43Cool.
00:04:44Let's take five and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:04:46Hi.
00:04:51I'm Michelangelo.
00:04:53Chantal.
00:04:54Nice to meet you.
00:04:56I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:05:00I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:05:04Hold that thought.
00:05:07Hey, Dad.
00:05:09Where the hell were you?
00:05:11Dad, I'm on a photo shoot.
00:05:12You're supposed to be at the office.
00:05:15Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:05:18I can meet him later.
00:05:20Two ladies back on the plane again.
00:05:22Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:05:24Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:05:27You've got to stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:05:29You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:05:33You interned. You went to business school.
00:05:36You have potential, okay?
00:05:38But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:05:39Well, you're going to have to prove it.
00:05:41Because so far...
00:05:43I ain't seen Niente from you.
00:05:46But...
00:05:50Hey.
00:05:52You okay?
00:05:54Yeah.
00:05:56But...
00:05:57I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:05:59So, it's a really rare form of cancer.
00:06:17Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:06:20I thought...
00:06:22There is an experimental treatment.
00:06:25But it's really expensive.
00:06:27And my insurance doesn't cover it.
00:06:30Don't worry about that.
00:06:32I have money saved.
00:06:34I'll find the rest.
00:06:35We will figure this out, okay?
00:06:37We're going to get through this together.
00:06:41Julia.
00:06:42Oh.
00:06:55Ciao, Gucci.
00:06:57Did she have a good walk?
00:07:01What's wrong?
00:07:02No.
00:07:05Yeah.
00:07:08I'm sorry.
00:07:09This...
00:07:10No, no, forget about it.
00:07:11I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:13The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:16I have a savings...
00:07:18For my doggy daycare.
00:07:19My dream, but...
00:07:23It's only enough for one treatment.
00:07:25And who knows how many she's going to need.
00:07:27Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After her parents passed,
00:07:31I would do anything for her.
00:07:35Amelia.
00:07:37I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:40You do?
00:07:42Come back tonight.
00:07:44And...
00:07:46Make something nice.
00:07:49Come on, baby.
00:07:58Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:08:04Except for the dog hair.
00:08:06Well, come with me.
00:08:08I have someone I want you to meet.
00:08:11Are they from Italy?
00:08:13Yes.
00:08:14Wow.
00:08:15Yes, of course, everything's from Italy here.
00:08:17Well...
00:08:19Amelia, meet Michelangelo on my side.
00:08:22I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday.
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:26Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:28I'm a dog walker.
00:08:30Don't be so defensive.
00:08:32I wasn't.
00:08:37Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:41I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:43Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:45Amelia.
00:08:47Arrivederci, huh?
00:08:56Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:02What exactly?
00:09:11How does it look?
00:09:13Not half bad.
00:09:15I mean, it's fine.
00:09:16Whatever.
00:09:18Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:09:21Or not.
00:09:23I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:26You work for my dad.
00:09:27You have to do what I say.
00:09:29You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:31Just a few more pictures.
00:09:33I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:35I don't need Tinder.
00:09:37I'm an underwear model.
00:09:38My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:47Pour me another.
00:09:49I told you, I'm...
00:09:51Fine.
00:10:00See, dog walker.
00:10:02That wasn't so hard.
00:10:06What the fuck?!
00:10:08This is fucking Prada!
00:10:13Asshole!
00:10:15You crazy bitch!
00:10:19Amelia!
00:10:21What's wrong?
00:10:23I asked her to pour me another drink, and she flipped out!
00:10:26I'm sorry, Romulus, but your son is a prick.
00:10:28I'm gonna be leaving.
00:10:29No, no, no, please.
00:10:30I apologize.
00:10:32My son, he's immature.
00:10:34And that's why I invited you.
00:10:36Put forward it.
00:10:38Please.
00:10:40Just have a seat.
00:10:42And I promise, he'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the night.
00:10:44Won't you, son?
00:10:46So, Amelia needs money to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:10:50Cancer?
00:10:53And you need to settle down and prove that you're worthy of running the family business.
00:10:58Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:01Okay.
00:11:02I want the business.
00:11:04I think we can, uh, make a deal whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:12Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:11:15No.
00:11:17You two just have to get married, that's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:23Romulus, what are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:30Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:11:33Well, Angela, look, you have to grow up before you can run our business.
00:11:38And the best way to do that is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:42We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:47There's something uncommon already.
00:11:49Look, you know, my wife and I, we were opposites.
00:11:53Oh, yeah, we were like pizza and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:56She sure drove me crazy with my first match.
00:12:00I know you're probably thinking I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:12:04But I learned a thing or two in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:10Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:12As if.
00:12:14Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:12:16I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life.
00:12:18Amelia, you do want to help your sister, don't you?
00:12:21Or you'll be able to afford the treatment if you just agree to this arrangement.
00:12:27What's it going to be?
00:12:34What's it going to be?
00:12:37Fine.
00:12:39I'll do it.
00:12:41For Betsy.
00:12:45Michelangelo, it's not polite to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:50If you're not going to agree to marry her,
00:12:52then you're going to lose the business.
00:12:56And you're also going to lose your inheritance.
00:12:59What the hell, Dad?
00:13:03Fuck it. Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:06Now, let's just go into the office now.
00:13:09The lorries have already drafted the contract.
00:13:12And, son, we're going to need some champagne.
00:13:15You're in my mind.
00:13:16Try and make yourself look decent now.
00:13:18You will be engaged for a period of 30 days, followed by a wedding planned by me.
00:13:28And I'll tell you, it's going to be a big one for the ages, too.
00:13:31I hope the Halloween Bowl's not booked.
00:13:34Anyway, you must move in together immediately to avoid any suspicion, you know.
00:13:39Look, there's nothing wrong with an arranged marriage, but, well, it can't do any good if word got out to the public, right?
00:13:45That's why this has to be our own secret.
00:13:49Are we agreed?
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:53All right.
00:13:54Sign in.
00:14:13Salute to the new couple.
00:14:24So.
00:14:26Your place or mine?
00:14:28I'm not staying at a doghouse.
00:14:30Fine.
00:14:31Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:42So this is Michelangelo's place.
00:14:45It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo museum.
00:14:50Ugh.
00:14:54Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:14:55What was this?
00:14:56Put it in the trash.
00:14:57This isn't trash.
00:14:58These are my sisters.
00:14:59She's an artist.
00:15:00So put them in your room.
00:15:01I said you could live here, not decorate.
00:15:02Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:03Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:15:04That's man thong.
00:15:05It's trademarked.
00:15:06Look.
00:15:07I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:08If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back, I'm throwing it all in the fireplace.
00:15:13It's electric.
00:15:14Oh, by the way.
00:15:15This is gonna work.
00:15:16You might want to start wearing that.
00:15:17Gee, thanks.
00:15:18Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:19I'm sorry.
00:15:20Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:15:21That's man thong.
00:15:22It's trademarked.
00:15:23Look.
00:15:24I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:25If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back, I'm throwing it all in the fireplace.
00:15:28It's electric.
00:15:29Oh, by the way, this is gonna work.
00:15:40You might want to start wearing that.
00:15:43Gee, thanks.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:53You're getting married?
00:15:55Shh, Betsy.
00:15:56Don't tell the whole world.
00:15:57Sorry, Amelia.
00:15:59It's just...
00:16:00It's not like you.
00:16:02Actually, we're...
00:16:04Reserved.
00:16:05Safe.
00:16:06Like I always taught you.
00:16:09Well, things change when you find out your sister has cancer.
00:16:14And besides, Michelangelo offered to help pay for some of your treatments.
00:16:19So, I'm okay with a quick proposal.
00:16:22Michelangelo?
00:16:23The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:25Michelangelo?
00:16:26No.
00:16:27Michelangelo...
00:16:28Dino Valeno?
00:16:29Maybe you've heard of him?
00:16:31Michelangelo Dino Valeno?
00:16:33Shhh.
00:16:34Socialite Animal?
00:16:35Like start a hundred canceled Bravo shows?
00:16:38How did you even meet?
00:16:39His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:40It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:41He's so toxic.
00:16:42Speak of the devil.
00:16:43Oh, yeah.
00:16:44You know, that's probably an old issue.
00:16:45This is a doctor's office.
00:16:46Amelia.
00:16:48Fancy Carlisle?
00:16:49Doctor's ready.
00:16:50We'll talk about this later.
00:16:51We'll talk about this later.
00:16:52I'm sorry.
00:16:53I'm sorry.
00:16:54I'm sorry.
00:16:55I'm sorry.
00:16:56It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:57It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:58He's so toxic.
00:16:59To speak of the devil.
00:17:00Oh, yeah.
00:17:01You know, that's probably an old issue.
00:17:03This is a doctor's office.
00:17:05Amelia.
00:17:06Fancy Carlisle?
00:17:07Doctor's ready.
00:17:08We'll talk about this later.
00:17:36We're just gonna wet, baby.
00:17:38We're already wet.
00:17:57Where did that come from?
00:18:06Because you're freezing, you're waking up.
00:18:24Nice place.
00:18:25I love the artwork.
00:18:27Thanks.
00:18:28Finally.
00:18:29Ooh, good taste.
00:18:30Oh, I'm good. You had plenty at dinner.
00:18:35More for me.
00:18:40You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bedroom.
00:18:57Who are you? Who are you?
00:19:00Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:19:05Whatever. Can you guys just keep it down?
00:19:09I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:11This is my house?
00:19:13We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:16Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:19:19You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:21What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:23Who's jealous?
00:19:25Jealous? I'm not jealous.
00:19:27Sweet dreams.
00:19:37I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:39How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:42Even if he is kind of hot.
00:20:02See you later.
00:20:03And, um, don't worry about last night.
00:20:08Sorry. I had one too many to drink. It won't happen again.
00:20:11You better not.
00:20:12How's the hangover, roomie?
00:20:26Not now. My head's killing me.
00:20:28We need to talk about last night.
00:20:30No. What we need to do is order a three egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:34I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:37Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:39But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:42And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:45Fine. I'll have her sign an NDA. Just give me my phone.
00:20:47My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:20:51And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:20:55Then neither of us get what we want.
00:20:57Yeah, no shit.
00:20:58I'm serious.
00:21:00Don't screw this up.
00:21:03I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:06I know what I'm doing. Dog walker.
00:21:08And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:11Whenever I want.
00:21:13Wherever I want.
00:21:15Fine.
00:21:16Do whatever you want.
00:21:19I'm sorry.
00:21:20It's a bit harsh.
00:21:21I'm just really...
00:21:24hung over.
00:21:27That could have gone better.
00:21:33How are you?
00:21:34Hey, baby.
00:21:36You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:21:38You're rich now.
00:21:40I know.
00:21:41I like it.
00:21:42Ah, it's good to hear.
00:21:43You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:48Tell me, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:21:52Oh, fine.
00:21:53Yeah.
00:21:54We're still getting to know each other.
00:21:56All right.
00:21:57Well, give him time, all right?
00:21:58Oh, and listen.
00:21:59He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:22:02I'm sorry.
00:22:03But I...
00:22:04I promise.
00:22:05I wouldn't be so sure.
00:22:06Yeah.
00:22:07You're right.
00:22:08Well, we'll see you later.
00:22:09Yeah.
00:22:10Right.
00:22:11Come on, Gucci.
00:22:12Come on.
00:22:13Bye, Gooch.
00:22:17Hey, Amelia.
00:22:18Hey, Jake.
00:22:20Gucci, no!
00:22:21Royce!
00:22:22It's a bad dog, but I'm not actually mad about this.
00:22:27It's to see you up close for once.
00:22:29Yeah.
00:22:30Same here.
00:22:39Sorry.
00:22:40Gucci's, um, a bit crazy.
00:22:42His whole family, actually.
00:22:44All these rich people are nuts.
00:22:46They should make a reality show.
00:22:48Real dog owners of Beverly Hills.
00:22:53Do you want to walk together?
00:22:54Let these two get to know each other?
00:22:57Yeah.
00:22:58I'd like that.
00:23:04So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:23:07A couple months.
00:23:08I like it.
00:23:09I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:23:12Barista.
00:23:13Uber driver.
00:23:15Delivery guy.
00:23:16Movie extra?
00:23:18You were in a movie.
00:23:19Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:23:21I was trying to impress you.
00:23:23How about you?
00:23:24How long have you been doing this?
00:23:26I don't know.
00:23:27My whole life, I guess.
00:23:29It started as a summer job, and then I turned it into my own business.
00:23:33I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:23:35Wow.
00:23:36I guess you really like dogs.
00:23:38Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:23:41If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:23:46My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:23:49Do you want to go?
00:23:51I kind of have to admit I had a crush on you.
00:23:56You did?
00:23:57Yeah.
00:23:58I still do.
00:24:00He's cute.
00:24:01I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:24:04Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:24:06I'd love to go to the concert.
00:24:07Hell yeah.
00:24:08I mean, uh, regular, yeah.
00:24:16I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:24:20I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:24:22Hey, what's your ring?
00:24:24Um, it's...
00:24:25I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:24:29I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:24:31Hey, what's your ring?
00:24:34ring? Um, it's just a class ring from high school. Looks pretty big. It was a big school.
00:24:45Public schools. Am I right? I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring. Me? Engaged? No,
00:24:57are you kidding? I'm 24. I'm practically still a baby. I mean, I should be wearing diapers,
00:25:03crawling around, drooling. Nope. Single and ready to mingle. Okay.
00:25:12Royce pooped. I should pick it up. Where? I don't see it. Just over there.
00:25:24Do I have to wear a suit every day? Of course. It's an office. You want to be CEO,
00:25:30you gotta look the part. You mean like you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:25:36Very funny. You know I'm retiring next year. Yes, I know. Yeah. That means you gotta get up to speed
00:25:41rapidamente. So today you're gonna be my shout, you'll be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:25:46Can I get Starbucks first? Fuck no. Come on, Dad.
00:25:59Wow!
00:25:59Oh my goodness. Are you okay? Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:26:12You're engaged, remember?
00:26:13And this is our new palette. It's Matt's collection. He really liked these colors,
00:26:21so we did them twice. But yeah, that's the presentation by me, Michelangelo.
00:26:30What, Dad? What a day, Dad. It's not even lunchtime yet. Look at you. You got so lazy just
00:26:44sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time. Just stick with it, will you, kid? Hard work
00:26:50does pay off. Let me just look at Amelia. What about her? She comes from nothing, son. Nobody taught her
00:26:57how to run a business, but she just worked hard, and now, well, now she earns money doing what she loves.
00:27:03I guess that's impressive. Yeah, see. See, it is. I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:27:10I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:27:18Break's over.
00:27:27Well, not too bad, huh? One day down. 40 more years to go.
00:27:42Now, this is the time when you go home with Amelia, you talk about the day's work,
00:27:48raise you closer together, comfort each other, just like your mom and I used to do.
00:27:54You know, I'm thinking, it's time for the world to meet Amelia. Tonight.
00:28:04Tonight? Shit. When am I going to tell Chantel? I promised we'd Netflix and bang tonight.
00:28:09The LA Zoo fundraiser. Lights, camera, red carpet. Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition
00:28:15to the dear Virginia Amelia. Don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad? I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:28:23What's the matter? You're getting along, aren't you?
00:28:27Yeah, yeah, just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:28:32All right, so it's all settled. I'll see you at eight o'clock tonight, in the limo, and don't be late.
00:28:37I'll see you at eight o'clock tonight, and I'll see you at eight o'clock tonight, and I'll see you at eight o'clock tonight.
00:28:51So, remind me, why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:28:57Because I want to do something nice for my favorite big sister.
00:29:01And?
00:29:03And, you know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:29:07But, since I'm part of the Dina Lavino family now, I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:29:13You better not let that hair down.
00:29:15Sorry, just an expression.
00:29:17How's it going in there?
00:29:25I'm coming out.
00:29:36Is that bad?
00:29:38I've never seen a dog walker look this hot.
00:29:43Buy that dress, ASAP.
00:29:47Leave me alone, party boy.
00:29:51I've got my own function tonight.
00:30:17What are you looking at?
00:30:29You're spilling all over yourself.
00:30:31Oh, thanks.
00:30:32I, um...
00:30:33I...
00:30:34Did you forget my name?
00:30:36No, it's just, uh, something different.
00:30:40Did you change your hair?
00:30:42Why do you care?
00:30:43The man whore house is yours tonight.
00:30:45I'm going out.
00:30:46I just forgot my charger.
00:30:47Awesome.
00:30:48Thanks.
00:30:51I'm taking this.
00:30:53Wait.
00:30:54I've been calling you.
00:30:55We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:30:56I told you.
00:30:57I'm busy.
00:30:58Hold on.
00:31:01Amelia!
00:31:10All right.
00:31:11Hey.
00:31:12Luca's right on time.
00:31:13Nice.
00:31:14Where's Amelia?
00:31:15She's...
00:31:16She's sick.
00:31:17She can't make it.
00:31:18Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no.
00:31:20If your fiance is sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:31:23Yeah, you gotta stay home with her.
00:31:25Give her some...
00:31:26Give her some nice soup.
00:31:27All right.
00:31:28I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:31:30Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better soon.
00:31:32Poor thing.
00:31:33Okay, Dad.
00:31:34See you in the office.
00:31:43Stupid dog walker?
00:31:44Tricking me with her makeover.
00:31:46I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:31:55Hey.
00:31:56It's Michael Angelo, Dean Levino.
00:31:58You still track people?
00:32:04Wow.
00:32:05Amelia.
00:32:06Hi.
00:32:07You look like you just walked off a runway.
00:32:22Without a dog.
00:32:23Sorry.
00:32:24I don't come to concerts often.
00:32:26I kind of panicked.
00:32:27No worries.
00:32:28I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:32:31Yeah.
00:32:32But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:32:34Talk to the bartender.
00:32:36Wow.
00:32:37The IP treatment.
00:32:38You look like one.
00:32:39Thanks, Tim.
00:32:43Hey.
00:32:44Loverboy.
00:32:45We're on.
00:32:47Gotta go.
00:32:48Find me in the green room after.
00:32:50Hope you like it.
00:32:51Break a leg.
00:32:53Loverboy.
00:33:03Make me going.
00:33:04You know what I want, babe.
00:33:07All the little things that I'm not showing.
00:33:10You know what I want, babe.
00:33:13Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:33:16All I do.
00:33:17You know what I want, babe.
00:33:20You know what I want, babe.
00:33:21Good.
00:33:25Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:33:27Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:33:29One more, please.
00:33:36But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:33:45Jake, you guys were great.
00:33:48You really think so?
00:33:51I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:33:53The who?
00:33:55You don't know the strokes.
00:33:59Are they older? I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:34:04It's alright. Lots of stuff to introduce you to.
00:34:08Want some of that a drink?
00:34:09Yeah, thank you.
00:34:16So, when did you learn how to play guitar?
00:34:20Since I was 13.
00:34:22Played in bands all through high school and college, but I feel like this one's finally going someplace.
00:34:27That's awesome.
00:34:29And when I get my record deal, I can finally quit my job, focus on music full time.
00:34:34You're gonna quit dog walking? I thought you liked it.
00:34:38I do, but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music.
00:34:42I don't even like dogs that much. I'm more of a cat person.
00:34:45A cat person?
00:34:47A cat person?
00:34:50Who doesn't like dogs? Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci.
00:34:54I don't want to talk about work tonight.
00:34:57I just want to relax. Have a good time.
00:34:59Have a good time.
00:35:01You're beautiful, you know that?
00:35:05I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake.
00:35:07Now I'm not sure. We have nothing in common.
00:35:10Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:35:13What the heck? I'm tipsy, and he's cute.
00:35:19Michelangelo had his fun. Now I can have mine.
00:35:22Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:35:38What's going on?
00:35:40That's Michelangelo Dina Lavino, the Nepo baby underwear model.
00:35:45He's not. You coming with me, dog walker?
00:35:48Don't make me get the leash.
00:35:49What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:35:50Back off, dude. Back off.
00:35:53Grubby little hipster. She's my fiancée.
00:35:56So that was an engagement ring?
00:35:58Jake, I can explain.
00:36:01Let's go.
00:36:03I'm really sorry, Jake.
00:36:05I'm not Jake.
00:36:11This is for making me uber all the way to fucking Silver Lake.
00:36:17And this is for making me listen to Andy.
00:36:18I can't believe you did that after your high and mighty speech.
00:36:19You're such a hypocrite.
00:36:20Yeah, well I don't have the paparazzi following me around.
00:36:21Just an Italian American psycho.
00:36:22I'm not following you around.
00:36:23You know what? I get it.
00:36:24You saw me with Chantelle last night.
00:36:25And now you're jealous.
00:36:26Oh, me jealous? Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:36:30Like I would ever fuck a dog walker.
00:36:31I am more than a dog walker.
00:36:32I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick. I have a name.
00:36:34Wait, what are you doing? That is an original.
00:36:36I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:36:37Oh, fine. I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:36:38I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:36:39You're treating me like she's a hypocrite.
00:36:40I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:36:41Oh, fine. I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:36:49I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion. You're treating me like shit.
00:36:55That's from the Renaissance. You're history's worst nightmare.
00:37:10I tried to make this work with you. We signed a contract.
00:37:13For an arranged marriage. Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:37:18action you are such a simpleton wait wait wait wait wait well at least i'm not a spoiled brat
00:37:27i tried to get along with you you brought this on to yourself i wish i never agreed
00:37:31to this awful engagement right back at you i fucking hate you i fucking hate you more
00:37:48i wish i didn't care
00:37:59i wish i didn't care
00:38:05i wish i didn't care
00:38:13where am i
00:38:42who's spooning me
00:38:46is that jake how drunk was i
00:38:49michelangelo dog walker
00:38:56oh i forgot we did that last night
00:39:00must have been all those free beers
00:39:03we don't have to talk about this right we had too many drinks
00:39:09just forget it ever happened if that's what you want
00:39:13definitely
00:39:16um i have to go to work
00:39:20i should get up too
00:39:23oh my head
00:39:24there's pedialine in the fridge
00:39:27thanks for coming today sis
00:39:29of course
00:39:30my doctor did say i needed lots of exercise
00:39:34well you look great thanks
00:39:37i don't feel great
00:39:41the treatment's taking a lot out of me
00:39:45you on the other hand are glowing today
00:39:48what's going on
00:39:50what's going on
00:39:52so
00:39:54michelangelo and i had sex last night
00:39:57wait
00:39:58for the first time
00:40:00yeah
00:40:01we're taking it slow
00:40:03michelangelo
00:40:05the male gigolo
00:40:07is taking it slow
00:40:08maybe i did miss dredgen
00:40:11and
00:40:13how was it
00:40:15well
00:40:17really bad
00:40:18right
00:40:19i knew it
00:40:20actually
00:40:21it was the best sex i ever had
00:40:24well
00:40:25that
00:40:26explains the glow
00:40:27i am happy for you sis
00:40:31physical chemistry is important
00:40:34that's actually what i wanted to talk to you about
00:40:37i don't get it
00:40:39he and i are nothing alike
00:40:40and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons
00:40:42i feel like
00:40:43like an arcade game
00:40:44and he just keeps getting the high score
00:40:45again
00:40:46and again
00:40:47and
00:40:48you get the picture
00:40:50hey
00:40:52opposite to track
00:40:54i mean
00:40:55that's why you guys love each other so much
00:40:58cause you're so different
00:41:00something like that
00:41:07here comes
00:41:11right on the schedule
00:41:12dog walkers in love with me
00:41:14i'll have to let her down easy
00:41:17weird
00:41:18i haven't heard from the dog walker all morning
00:41:20dog walker all morning
00:41:31what was that about
00:41:32must be the hangover
00:41:33hey i'd like to hang out tonight
00:41:44maybe we can finish what we started last time
00:41:46hey
00:41:59unfortunately
00:42:00something came up
00:42:01i can't make it tonight
00:42:06why can't i stop thinking about the dog walker
00:42:08and why hasn't she
00:42:10texted me yet
00:42:16i can't make it
00:42:31hey
00:42:32hi
00:42:34we should talk
00:42:37we should talk
00:42:38about
00:42:39last night
00:42:41i'm not very good with words
00:42:43me neither
00:42:44Me neither.
00:42:45But last night I...
00:42:46You don't have to say anything.
00:42:47We both know it was a mistake.
00:42:49And we can just go back to hating each other like nothing ever happened.
00:42:54I don't think you understand if you would just listen to me for a second.
00:42:57Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:42:59I'm a big girl.
00:43:00I've had a one night stand before.
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before.
00:43:05Okay, I get it.
00:43:07I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:43:11You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:43:15I know that if you would take back last night, that you would.
00:43:18And frankly, so would I.
00:43:19I mean, you're driving me nuts.
00:43:21You don't understand.
00:43:22Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:43:25I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:43:29Wait.
00:43:30Did you just call me Amelia?
00:43:35What happened to Dog Walker?
00:43:37I have a confession to make.
00:43:41Last night, I don't know how.
00:43:45I don't know why.
00:43:47That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:43:52Really?
00:43:53Do I look like I'm lying?
00:43:55I'm not a good actor.
00:43:57I couldn't even do reality TV.
00:43:59But there is a fire between us, Amelia.
00:44:04Some kind of crazy cosmic chemistry.
00:44:07You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:44:11Amelia.
00:44:12Please.
00:44:13I know you felt it too.
00:44:16Amelia.
00:44:17Please.
00:44:18Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:44:20I felt it too.
00:44:21So why are we fighting it?
00:44:22I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:23Me too.
00:44:24I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:25Me too.
00:44:26I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:27I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:29Me too.
00:44:30I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:31I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:32I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:33I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:34I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:35I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:36I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:37I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:38I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:39I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:40I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:41I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:42I've been thinking about you all day.
00:45:13So, I set the kitchen on fire?
00:45:16How am I supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball shots on fire?
00:45:20It's not my fault. They should change the name.
00:45:24No wonder they cancelled Vanderpump's super yacht.
00:45:28If you think that's funny, just wait until the next episode.
00:45:30The captain gets super drunk off his espresso martinis, and he almost sinks the boat.
00:45:39You know, when you're not acting like a complete douchebag?
00:45:43You're not so bad.
00:45:45Thanks?
00:45:47You know, we could actually try this.
00:45:51Hey, if the sex stays this good, I'm open for anything.
00:45:54I'm serious.
00:45:56The wedding's coming up.
00:45:59We could give it a shot.
00:46:01You mean like, you and me.
00:46:03Together, together.
00:46:04Why not?
00:46:06Were you planning on marrying someone else?
00:46:21Oh, Gucci! What's the rush?
00:46:23Oh, hey, Royce.
00:46:31Jake?
00:46:32How's it going?
00:46:34Good. Yeah.
00:46:37Look, the other night was kind of...
00:46:38Crazy. I know.
00:46:40I should have told you about Michelangelo.
00:46:43We were kind of in a fight.
00:46:46I'm sorry for bringing you into this.
00:46:48Is he always like that?
00:46:50So aggressive and controlling?
00:46:52I couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that.
00:46:55He was like a caveman lugging home his woman.
00:46:58Well, I am his woman.
00:47:00He saw us together and he got jealous.
00:47:03And I don't blame him.
00:47:05Oh, my God.
00:47:06Am I actually sticking up for Michelangelo Di Novolino?
00:47:10I didn't mean to pry.
00:47:12Just wanted to make sure everything's okay.
00:47:15I'm here if you need to talk.
00:47:17Thanks, Jake.
00:47:18But I'm engaged.
00:47:20Remember?
00:47:22And the only person I want to talk to is my fiancé.
00:47:25I thought we had a connection.
00:47:27You're a cat person.
00:47:29It never would have worked.
00:47:31Come on, Gucci.
00:47:32Let's go.
00:47:36Cats are awesome.
00:47:40That was a great presentation.
00:47:44The marketing director loved your ideas for the new line.
00:47:47You think so?
00:47:48Ooh.
00:47:49Maybe I'm finally starting to get a hang of this CEO thing.
00:47:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:47:53Now, listen.
00:47:54I got to fly to Paris for a few days.
00:47:56You mind watching your little brother for me?
00:47:59Gucci?
00:47:59Sure.
00:48:00But, I mean, you know, dogs are more Amelia's specialty.
00:48:03Yeah, but that's how you impress her.
00:48:05You invite her for a romantic date at the dog park.
00:48:09At the dog park?
00:48:10Mm-hmm.
00:48:10I just texted her.
00:48:12It's all set.
00:48:13Now, go get her, lover boy.
00:48:27So, you just throw it and he brings it back?
00:48:30You've never played fetch before?
00:48:32It's my dad's dog, not mine.
00:48:37Let me try.
00:48:39That's okay.
00:48:40I know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands.
00:48:43Do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:48:50No.
00:48:51I like my work.
00:48:53What's the point in working if you never get a chance to have fun?
00:48:58You're right.
00:48:58I should work less.
00:49:01If nothing else, you're letting me get closer to my little brother.
00:49:08Fetch Gucci.
00:49:09I've got a big surprise.
00:49:16A surprise?
00:49:18Just wait and see.
00:49:27Grazie, Enzo.
00:49:28Have a good night, Mr. De Novelino.
00:49:35What's that?
00:49:36A special delivery from Mastrione's Italian Deli?
00:49:42But Gucci, it's your favorite prosciutto.
00:49:47You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:49:50I thought you were off the clock today.
00:49:54Besides, a special occasion.
00:49:57I also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little Chianti into it.
00:50:02I'm kidding.
00:50:04This is for us.
00:50:05Why don't you get us a corkscrew?
00:50:07What else is in the bag?
00:50:08Just some imported Italian ingredients, so I can make you a real Italian dinner.
00:50:13You can cook?
00:50:14That was so good.
00:50:30I feel like I just went to Italy, even though I've never been.
00:50:34How did you do this?
00:50:36I can't cook at all.
00:50:38Making Italian food is one of my favorite things to do.
00:50:40Did you learn in culinary school?
00:50:41No, my mom taught me.
00:50:45Tell me about her.
00:50:47I never told a girl about my mom.
00:50:50Sorry.
00:50:51I don't mean to pray.
00:50:53She passed away when I was 11.
00:50:56Breast cancer.
00:50:57But I have a lot of good memories of her.
00:51:00She grew up in a little village in Tuscany, and she taught me everything I know about cooking.
00:51:07We'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing.
00:51:11I still have all of her recipes here, handwritten in Italian.
00:51:19That's really special.
00:51:23I miss her.
00:51:25This might sound corny, but I feel a little closer to her when I make her recipes.
00:51:31It's not corny.
00:51:31But I didn't know you were such a softy.
00:51:35Just don't tell TMZ.
00:51:39What about your parents?
00:51:41My parents died in a car accident when I was 13.
00:51:45It's been me and Betsy ever since.
00:51:48I'm sorry.
00:51:48I just really hope these treatments work.
00:51:53I don't want to lose her, too.
00:51:57I'm sorry.
00:51:58Your story made me emotional.
00:52:00I'm gonna go do the dishes.
00:52:02I'll help you.
00:52:02No, no, it's fine.
00:52:04I like doing the dishes.
00:52:05It relaxes me.
00:52:07Good.
00:52:08Because I hate them.
00:52:09Well, then I guess we make a good team.
00:52:15Is it just the wine?
00:52:17Or am I really falling for him?
00:52:20Her.
00:52:23You don't want espresso.
00:52:33Hey.
00:52:35Hey.
00:52:36Do you want an espresso?
00:52:38I just figured out how to make the machine work.
00:52:40No, thank you.
00:52:41You need to have a morning meeting.
00:52:42I'm kind of in a rush.
00:52:43Okay, well, don't forget Gucci.
00:52:45How could I?
00:52:47Ready, bro?
00:52:50Well, let me fix your tie.
00:52:53What do you know about ties?
00:52:55You wear t-shirts to work.
00:52:57And you wore man thongs two weeks ago.
00:53:00Touché.
00:53:01There you go.
00:53:03Okay, bye.
00:53:04Bye.
00:53:07Love you.
00:53:08Love you, too.
00:53:09Love you.
00:53:09Love you, too.
00:53:09Love you.
00:53:09Love you.
00:53:09Love you, too.
00:53:11Love you.
00:53:11Love you.
00:53:11Love you, too.
00:53:13Love you.
00:53:13Love you, too.
00:53:14Love you, too.
00:53:15Love you, too.
00:53:16Drive.
00:53:18Sorry.
00:53:19Reflex, I didn't mean to say that.
00:53:22Me neither.
00:53:23Too soon.
00:53:25Talk about it later?
00:53:27Yeah.
00:53:28Okay.
00:53:29Okay.
00:53:30Could that have been any more awkward?
00:53:33And is Michelangelo really in love with me?
00:53:36Look who's here. Hey, my little guy. Hey, little Gucci. Look at this right here, huh? Let's try it. Oh, yeah. Now, here's mine, right? Just like that, huh? Yeah. Even got one for big brother, right there. Come to papa. Yes, my boy.
00:54:06All right, all right. So, we got to talk about this wedding, right? This is two weeks off. Hollywood Bowl, they're waiting for an answer. And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane. He says the band is free. You like Coldplay, right? Dad, we can't have the wedding at the Hollywood Bowl.
00:54:24Cool. Well, all right. Then we'll book the Magic Castle. How about that? Not too big. Plenty of room for Coldplay, huh?
00:54:33Dad, let's just pump the brakes. We cannot plan a wedding like this.
00:54:37What? Something wrong with Amelia?
00:54:39No. Everything's great. It's better than great, honestly. But we cannot have a big, flashy wedding. That's our thing. It's not Amelia's thing. I think it'd make her uncomfortable.
00:54:55Wow, I never thought of that. You know, you have a very good point there. I'm very impressed. You've never acted like this with any other woman.
00:55:07I can't say I've ever felt like this with another girl.
00:55:12Sounds like you might be falling in love.
00:55:15Love?
00:55:17Yeah. I don't know.
00:55:21He's so cute.
00:55:22All right, all right. Change of deal. Gonna cancel the Hollywood Bowl, all right? And then we'll have a nice, small, intimate affair, a wedding with Coldplay.
00:55:33No Coldplay, Dad. No Coldplay.
00:55:36No Coldplay, Dad.
00:55:37No Coldplay, Dad.
00:55:38No Coldplay, Dad.
00:55:39No Coldplay, Dad.
00:55:40No Coldplay, Dad.
00:55:41No Coldplay, Dad.
00:55:42So, it's about my cancer treatment. It's not working. I know it. I talked to my doctors yesterday, and I'm cured.
00:55:54What? You're cured?
00:55:57Oh, congratulations.
00:56:00Congratulations. Thank you. I wasn't expecting it. I didn't think I would be cured in only two sessions.
00:56:07It only took two sessions? I almost had enough in my savings to cover that. Maybe I didn't need the Dina Valino's money.
00:56:15What's wrong, sis? We should be celebrating. I brought Prosecco.
00:56:21No, yeah. No, I'm good. Yeah. Amelia, I'm your sister. You can tell me anything. Is it Michelangelo? Is everything okay? If that punk pretty boy hurts you, I will take that man thong and give him a wedgie so far up his butt that it will cut him in two.
00:56:42It's not Michelangelo, Betsy. It's me. I have to tell you something.
00:56:56I cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage?! What is this, Game of Thrones?!
00:57:03It was the only way that I could pay for your treatments. And you know that I would do anything for you.
00:57:08Actually, he's not that bad. I kinda like him.
00:57:15Yeah, babe, that's called Stockholm Syndrome. We need to get you out of there.
00:57:20Betsy, I have real feelings for him.
00:57:25But, what about the tabloid stories? You heard what he did to that floozy in Disney World. They banned him for life. You'll never go to Epcot.
00:57:37He's not actually like the stories. Or at least not to me.
00:57:42He's only acting like that to get into your pants, Amelia.
00:57:46If you marry Michelangelo, he will make your life a living hell.
00:57:53What if you meet him?
00:57:55Yeah, meet him. Maybe he'll change your mind. Maybe you'll actually like him.
00:58:00Don't count on it.
00:58:02Please, me, just give him a chance.
00:58:06Fine.
00:58:08Yes.
00:58:09Only one.
00:58:10Yes.
00:58:11You won't regret it. I'm gonna go get the Prosecco.
00:58:16You better bring the whole bottle.
00:58:20Thank you for making dinner.
00:58:25Of course. I'm glad she's cancer-free. We need to celebrate.
00:58:31Michelangelo, you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world to me, right?
00:58:37You mean besides me?
00:58:38I'm serious. It's really important to me that you two get along.
00:58:42Have a glass of wine. Tonight's gonna be great.
00:58:47It's...enormous.
00:59:00Why would anybody need so much room?
00:59:05It's nice to see you too, sis.
00:59:09Nice to finally meet you, Betsy.
00:59:14So, this is the infamous, uh, Michelangelo.
00:59:21Uh, how about we start off with a glass of champagne?
00:59:25$96 Dom Perignon? Amelia said that's the year that you were born.
00:59:29Yeah, sorry, I can't drink that fancy stuff. It's worth more than my car.
00:59:34Why would anybody spend that much on a drink?
00:59:38$8.99 at Ralph's. It's delicious.
00:59:42This was made in France.
00:59:44Sorry, can't touch that stuff.
00:59:47So, who wants a drink?
01:00:08You hardly touch your food.
01:00:12It's a little too rich for me.
01:00:17Mine tastes great.
01:00:19So, Michelangelo, I have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up.
01:00:27You don't mind, do you?
01:00:29Fire away.
01:00:31So, I know you two have been having your... fun.
01:00:37Um, but what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
01:00:44I don't think it's going to.
01:00:46That's cute and all, but what about her career? Are you gonna support her?
01:00:52Or kids, what's your stance on that?
01:00:54Or are you just gonna jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
01:00:58Betsy!
01:00:59Look, I know I have a past, but I'm committed to it.
01:01:05We haven't talked about kids, but I'm open to anything.
01:01:08See, Michelangelo, that's my point.
01:01:10You two are getting married and you barely know each other.
01:01:14We know enough.
01:01:15Easy, Betsy.
01:01:17I just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon.
01:01:21And if you really cared about Amelia, you would give her the time.
01:01:25And what makes you such an expert?
01:01:27I don't see a ring on your finger.
01:01:30Michelangelo.
01:01:31You probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now.
01:01:34It's no wonder Amelia was so uptight when I met her.
01:01:36She gets it from you.
01:01:37Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
01:01:40You started it.
01:01:47Why don't we all just calm down?
01:01:50Betsy's just looking out for my best interests.
01:01:52No, she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her.
01:01:56That's not fair, Michelangelo.
01:01:57She's not been fair to me since she walked through the door.
01:01:59You're the horniest bastard in Beverly Hills.
01:02:01And you're a frigid, lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy.
01:02:05You know what?
01:02:06You can't talk to Betsy like that.
01:02:08That's my sister.
01:02:09She just survived cancer.
01:02:13That doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house.
01:02:16This is my house too, and she can say whatever she wants.
01:02:19Not to me.
01:02:20You know, maybe she should be concerned.
01:02:21I don't like this side of you.
01:02:23See, I told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other,
01:02:25but I guess the contract doesn't allow for that.
01:02:28You told her?
01:02:29She's my sister.
01:02:30I don't care.
01:02:31That violates our agreement.
01:02:32Oh, is that all I am to you?
01:02:34A contractual agreement?
01:02:36Some kind of obligation?
01:02:37That's not what I meant.
01:02:39It came out wrong, Amelia.
01:02:40I love you.
01:02:42You love me?
01:02:44Don't listen to him.
01:02:45He doesn't even know what that means.
01:02:46Shut the fuck up!
01:02:48You know what?
01:02:50Maybe she was right.
01:02:51I shouldn't have signed that contract.
01:02:53It's over.
01:02:59We need to get out of here.
01:03:02I've seen too many true crime documentaries on Netflix
01:03:04to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets.
01:03:11Amelia, I know this is hard to hear,
01:03:14but you did the right thing.
01:03:17You do so much better than him.
01:03:20Yeah.
01:03:21But he isn't a monster.
01:03:23I shouldn't have said that.
01:03:25We can talk about it on the road.
01:03:27Get packing, and if we leave now, we can get to Mexico by dawn.
01:03:31Lay low for a bit.
01:03:32Mexico?
01:03:33Or Canada.
01:03:34Whatever.
01:03:35It's that, or stay here and get sued by the Dino Livinos.
01:03:39Or worse.
01:03:40I don't think Romulus and Michelangelo would sue us.
01:03:43I mean, I only told you about the contract.
01:03:46It's not like I told the media.
01:03:48You don't know that.
01:03:51We're liabilities.
01:03:53Loose ends.
01:03:54You should listen to more True Kind podcast.
01:04:00Get rid of that thing.
01:04:02They could be tracking us right now.
01:04:04Yeah, you know, Michelangelo did manage to follow me to the echoplex the other day.
01:04:09See?
01:04:10He could have a sniper on us.
01:04:17It's Romulus.
01:04:18Hey, Romulus.
01:04:19What?
01:04:22What do you mean Gucci's missing?
01:04:36You came.
01:04:38Against my better judgment.
01:04:40I'm not happy you've been blowing me off.
01:04:42I've just been busy, but it's over with now.
01:04:49You should punish me for straying.
01:04:54You make me sick.
01:04:56I make me sick.
01:04:57You make me sick.
01:05:06Nice underwear.
01:05:09It's a great craftsmanship.
01:05:15Okay.
01:05:16Let's get this over with.
01:05:21Is that all you have to say?
01:05:23Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:05:25I'm sorry.
01:05:28Chantel.
01:05:30I thought I wanted this.
01:05:33But I don't.
01:05:36I'm not the stud that I used to be.
01:05:41Amelia broke up with me.
01:05:46It feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes.
01:05:50Never in a million years did I think I'd fall for a dog walk with my hair.
01:05:55I am fucking devastated.
01:05:57And all her wishes I could take back how I acted.
01:06:01And just wanted to come back to me.
01:06:13Amelia?
01:06:15Hi, Dad.
01:06:17Gucci's gone?
01:06:19I'll be right there.
01:06:23What?
01:06:29Romulus.
01:06:30Oh.
01:06:33Well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:06:36We're practically in the house and then all of a sudden he just shot off like a rocket.
01:06:41I've been calling him all night but he won't come back!
01:06:45Well, we can help you find him.
01:06:47Yeah?
01:06:49Right?
01:06:51Good, thanks.
01:06:53Gucci!
01:06:54It better not be a trap.
01:06:55Just come on.
01:06:59Gucci!
01:07:01Gucci!
01:07:02Hey, hey, hey!
01:07:03Where's Michelangelo?
01:07:04Huh?
01:07:05I thought you were both together.
01:07:06Why isn't he here with you?
01:07:07Oh, um, he's...
01:07:09Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:07:11Where were you?
01:07:12I had to stop for late night delivery at Mastriani's.
01:07:15It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:07:17If this doesn't ring out of hiding, nothing will.
01:07:20Smart move, kid.
01:07:21Here, ladies.
01:07:22Take a piece of this prosciutto over here.
01:07:24That's it.
01:07:29Give me the air.
01:07:40Gucci!
01:07:47It's hopeless.
01:07:48We've been looking for him all night long.
01:07:52We're never gonna find him.
01:07:54Don't give up, Dad.
01:07:55He's just off having a little adventure.
01:07:57Keep looking.
01:07:58He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:08:01See?
01:08:02They're not gonna kill us.
01:08:04I do have to admit, though,
01:08:06I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:08:08He's really there for his dad.
01:08:11His dad's dog.
01:08:13So you approve now?
01:08:15They didn't say that.
01:08:17Gucci!
01:08:19Gucci!
01:08:23My boy's back!
01:08:25Oh!
01:08:33Okay, okay.
01:08:35I'm a little closer to approving.
01:08:37I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:08:51A little.
01:08:53It's okay.
01:08:54Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:08:57They just leave out part of the story.
01:08:58Amelia.
01:09:00Can we talk?
01:09:02Please?
01:09:04Amelia.
01:09:06Can we talk?
01:09:08Please?
01:09:10Amelia.
01:09:12Can we talk?
01:09:14Please?
01:09:15Okay.
01:09:16Amelia.
01:09:17I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:09:30I shouldn't have attacked your sister,
01:09:32and I shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the contract.
01:09:34I hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement.
01:09:42Thanks for saying that.
01:09:45I needed to hear that.
01:09:48And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:09:52You're not one.
01:09:54I'm still learning new things about you.
01:09:57Most of them are good.
01:09:58I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:10:03I'm not.
01:10:05You're not? What do you mean?
01:10:08Amelia, this might sound crazy, but I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:10:14And I don't want some silly piece of paper to pee the reason that we stay together.
01:10:20I want to know that our love is real.
01:10:22Dad.
01:10:24What is it, son?
01:10:26I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia.
01:10:29Why, son?
01:10:31Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:10:34And not because of some legal obligation,
01:10:38but because she wants to.
01:10:40Consider our contracts null and void.
01:10:44Amelia.
01:10:46What will it be?
01:10:48Will you marry me?
01:10:50No.
01:10:52No.
01:10:54No.
01:10:55No.
01:10:57No.
01:10:59No.
01:11:01No.
01:11:03No.
01:11:05No.
01:11:06No.
01:11:08No.
01:11:10Okay.
01:11:12Will you marry me?
01:11:15Yes.
01:11:17I'll marry you.
01:11:32You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world.
01:11:35And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:11:38Look at me.
01:11:40I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:11:44All right, all right, you two.
01:11:46That's enough, all right?
01:11:48We spent this whole night together.
01:11:50Come over to my place, all right?
01:11:52We'll have a nice breakfast Italian style.
01:11:55Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:11:58I think I can get used to it.
01:12:00And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:12:03I want to hear from everybody involved,
01:12:06especially Coldplay.
01:12:07We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:12:09It was worth a try.
01:12:35And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:38Michelangelo?
01:12:42Amelia, even though we're far from a perfect couple,
01:12:48we're perfect together.
01:12:50I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time,
01:12:55and not just about dogs.
01:12:58I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:13:02I'm looking forward to your support and counsel as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:13:13And in return, I promise to be patient and a loving husband as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamed of.
01:13:25Amelia, you're the only thing better than free underwear.
01:13:35I love you so much.
01:13:37I never thought I would end up with a former man thong model, but here we are.
01:13:51Michelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell, and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest,
01:13:55something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:14:03And although we haven't spent much time together, it feels like a lifetime, in a good way.
01:14:08With the power vested in me by Almighty God, and the city of Beverly Hills,
01:14:19I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:14:22You may kiss your bride.
01:14:32Thanks.
01:14:34I'm Betsy, Amelia's sister.
01:14:37I'm Jake.
01:14:37Another dog walker.
01:14:40It's crazy.
01:14:41You know, given my sister.
01:14:43But I've always been more of a cat person.
01:14:46Me too.
01:14:46Woo!
01:14:48Woo-hoo!
01:14:48Woo!
01:14:49Woo!
01:14:50Woo!
01:14:50Woo!
01:14:50Woo!
01:14:51Woo!
01:14:51Woo!
01:14:52Woo!
01:14:52Woo!
01:14:53Woo!
01:14:54Woo!
01:14:55Woo!
01:14:56Woo!
01:14:57Woo!
01:14:58Woo!
01:14:59Woo!
01:15:00Woo!
01:15:01Woo!
01:15:02Woo!
01:15:03Woo!
01:15:04Woo!
01:15:05Woo!
01:15:06Woo!
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