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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Married.
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:07Your place, your mind.
00:00:09I must stay in a doghouse.
00:00:11Ahem.
00:00:12Can you guys just keep it down?
00:00:14I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:00:22Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?
00:00:29She's my sister.
00:00:30I don't care.
00:00:31That violates our agreement.
00:00:32How?
00:00:33What the fuck?
00:00:36What?
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Donald Walker.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite.
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:00:43I fucking hate you.
00:00:45I fucking hate you more.
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well?
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:01:00Wait.
00:01:01What are you doing?
00:01:02That is an original.
00:01:03I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:01:06Oh, fine.
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:13You're treating me like shit.
00:01:16That's from the Renaissance.
00:01:17You are history's worst nightmare.
00:01:19I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:20We signed a contract.
00:01:21For an arranged marriage.
00:01:22Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:27You are such a simpleton.
00:01:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:01:32Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:01:35I tried to get along with you.
00:01:36You brought this onto yourself.
00:01:37I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:01:39Right back at you.
00:01:41I fucking hate you.
00:01:43I hate you.
00:01:44I fucking hate you more.
00:01:45I hate you more.
00:02:06So, you were arrested.
00:02:09Again.
00:02:12To be fair, when we thought I was late, we'll just swim there.
00:02:16There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:18It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters.
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I wouldn't have came.
00:02:30Come on, Gucci.
00:02:31Come on.
00:02:33Good boy.
00:02:34Come on, Gucci.
00:02:35Let's go.
00:02:36Hey.
00:02:37I'm real real.
00:02:38Hey, Jay.
00:02:39Come on, Gucci.
00:02:40Let's go.
00:02:41Hey, I'm real real.
00:02:42Hey, Jay.
00:02:43Come on, Gucci.
00:02:44Let's go.
00:02:45You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:03:00It reflects on me.
00:03:01It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:03:07The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:09I make my own money.
00:03:10Oh, you see.
00:03:11See.
00:03:12Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:13I am the spokesperson for man thumb.
00:03:14That means free underwear for life.
00:03:15For life.
00:03:16Some parents would be proud.
00:03:17Yeah.
00:03:18Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:19You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:20Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:21Hmm.
00:03:22All right.
00:03:23Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:03:24And don't be late.
00:03:25Bye, Dad.
00:03:26Bye.
00:03:27Bye.
00:03:28Bye.
00:03:29Bye.
00:03:30Bye.
00:03:31Bye.
00:03:32Bye.
00:03:48Bye.
00:03:49Bye.
00:03:50god tales from home
00:03:50Excuse me.
00:03:51Hello, my Gucci.
00:03:52Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:03:55He used to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:09Like you, Emilia.
00:04:10Good one, Romulus.
00:04:15Good one, Romulus.
00:04:34These are great.
00:04:36I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:38Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:41No problem.
00:04:42Cool.
00:04:42Let's take five, and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:04:50Hi.
00:04:51I'm Michelangelo.
00:04:53Chantal.
00:04:54Nice to meet you.
00:04:56I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:04:59I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:05:03Hold that thought.
00:05:07Hey, Dad.
00:05:08Where the hell were you?
00:05:11Dad, I'm on a photo shoot.
00:05:13You're supposed to be at the office.
00:05:15Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:05:18I can meet him later.
00:05:19Now the suit lady's back on the plane again.
00:05:21Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:05:24Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:05:26You've got to stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:05:28You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:05:32You interned.
00:05:33You went to business school.
00:05:35You have potential, okay?
00:05:37But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:05:40Well, you're going to have to prove it.
00:05:41Because so far, I ain't seen the end tape from you.
00:05:46Bye, Dad.
00:05:47Hey, you okay?
00:05:53Yeah, but I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:05:57So, it's a really rare form of cancer.
00:06:15Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:06:20Oh my God.
00:06:21There is an experimental treatment.
00:06:25But it's really expensive.
00:06:28And my insurance doesn't cover it.
00:06:30Don't worry about that.
00:06:32I have money saved.
00:06:34I'll find the rest.
00:06:35We will figure this out, okay?
00:06:37We're going to get through this together.
00:06:54Ciao, Gucci.
00:06:56Did she have a good walk?
00:07:01What's wrong?
00:07:07I'm sorry.
00:07:08This is...
00:07:09No, no, no, forget about it.
00:07:10I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:12The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:15I have the savings for my doggy daycare, my dream.
00:07:19But it's only enough for one treatment.
00:07:24And who knows how many she's going to need.
00:07:26Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After her parents passed, I would do anything for her.
00:07:32Amelia, I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:40You do?
00:07:41Hmm.
00:07:42Come back tonight.
00:07:44And, uh, make something nice.
00:07:49Come on.
00:07:49Okay.
00:07:50Okay.
00:07:50Okay.
00:07:50Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:51Okay.
00:07:52Okay.
00:07:52Okay.
00:07:52Okay.
00:07:53Okay.
00:07:54Okay.
00:07:55Okay.
00:07:56Okay.
00:07:57Okay.
00:07:58Okay.
00:07:59Okay.
00:08:00Come on.
00:08:03Except for the dog hair.
00:08:06Come with me.
00:08:08I have someone I want you to meet.
00:08:10Are they from Italy?
00:08:12Yes.
00:08:13Wow.
00:08:13Yes, of course everything's from Italy here.
00:08:17Well.
00:08:18Amelia meat.
00:08:19Michelangelo on my side.
00:08:21I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday.
00:08:24Mm-hmm.
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:26Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:27I'm a dog walker.
00:08:29Don't be so defensive.
00:08:30I wasn't.
00:08:36Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:40I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:42Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:44I'm really happy.
00:08:46Hey, arrivederci, huh?
00:08:55Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:00What, exactly?
00:09:10How does it look?
00:09:11Not half bad.
00:09:13I mean, it's fine.
00:09:15Whatever.
00:09:19Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:09:22Or not.
00:09:23I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:25You work for my dad.
00:09:26You have to do what I say.
00:09:28You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:30Just a few more pictures.
00:09:32I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:34I don't need Tinder.
00:09:36I'm an underwear model.
00:09:37My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:46Pour me another.
00:09:48I told you, I'm...
00:09:49I don't.
00:09:52Fine.
00:09:59See?
00:10:00Dog walker.
00:10:01That wasn't so hard.
00:10:05What the fuck?
00:10:07This is fucking Prada!
00:10:12Oh!
00:10:13Asshole.
00:10:14You crazy bitch.
00:10:18Amelia, whoa.
00:10:20What's wrong?
00:10:21I asked her to pour me another drink, and she flipped out.
00:10:25I'm sorry, Romulus, but your son is a prick.
00:10:27I'm going to be leaving.
00:10:28No, no, no, please.
00:10:29I apologize.
00:10:30My son, he's just immature.
00:10:32All right, and that's why I invited you to put forward it.
00:10:37Please, all right?
00:10:38Just have a seat, all right?
00:10:40And I promise, he'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the night.
00:10:43Won't you, son?
00:10:44So, Amelia needs money to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:10:50Cancer?
00:10:52Yeah, and you need to settle down and prove that you're worthy of running the family business.
00:10:57Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:00Okay, I want the business.
00:11:03I think we can make a deal whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:12Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:11:15No.
00:11:16You two just have to get married, that's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:22Romulus, what are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:30Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:11:32Well, Angelo, look, you have to grow up before you can run our business.
00:11:37And the best way to do that is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:42We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:46There's something uncommon already.
00:11:48Look, you know, my wife and I, we were opposites.
00:11:53Oh, yeah, we were like pizza and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:56She sure drove me crazy when we were first met.
00:12:00I know you're probably thinking I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:12:03But I learned a thing or two in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:09Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:11As if.
00:12:13Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:12:15I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life.
00:12:17Amelia, you do want to help your sister, don't you?
00:12:20Well, you'll be able to afford the treatment
00:12:22if you just agree to this arrangement.
00:12:24What's it going to be?
00:12:34What's it going to be?
00:12:37Fine.
00:12:39I'll do it.
00:12:40For Betsy.
00:12:45Well, Angelo, it's not polite to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:49If you're not going to agree to marry her,
00:12:51then you're going to lose the business.
00:12:55And you're also going to lose your inheritance.
00:12:58What the hell, Dad?
00:13:02Fuck it.
00:13:03Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:05Now, let's just go into the office now.
00:13:09The lorries have already drafted the contract.
00:13:11And, son, we are going to need some champagne.
00:13:14You're in my market.
00:13:16Try and make yourself look decent now.
00:13:21You will be engaged for a period of 30 days.
00:13:24Followed by a wedding planned by me.
00:13:27And I'll tell you, it's going to be a big one for the ages, too.
00:13:31I hope the Halloween Bowl's not booked.
00:13:33Anyway, you must move in together immediately.
00:13:37Avoid any suspicion, you know.
00:13:38Look, there's nothing wrong with an arranged marriage,
00:13:42but, well, it can't do any good
00:13:44if word got out to the public, right?
00:13:46That's why this has to be our own secret.
00:13:49Are we agreed?
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:52All right.
00:13:53Sign here.
00:13:54Salute to the new couple.
00:14:15Mmm.
00:14:24So, your place or mine?
00:14:27I'm not staying at a doghouse.
00:14:29Fine.
00:14:31Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:41So this is Michelangelo's place.
00:14:44It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo museum.
00:14:49Ugh.
00:14:54Whoa, what was this?
00:15:06Put it in the trash.
00:15:07This isn't trash.
00:15:08These are my sisters.
00:15:09She's an artist.
00:15:11So put them in your room.
00:15:12I said you could live here, not decorate.
00:15:14Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:15Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:15:17That's man-thong.
00:15:19It's trademarked.
00:15:20Look, I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:26If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back,
00:15:28we'll throw it all in the fireplace.
00:15:30It's electric.
00:15:36Oh, by the way,
00:15:38this is gonna work.
00:15:40You might wanna start wearing that.
00:15:43Gee, thanks.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:50You're getting married?
00:15:54Shh, Betsy.
00:15:56Don't tell the whole world.
00:15:57Sorry, Amelia.
00:15:59It's just...
00:15:59It's not like you.
00:16:03You're saying we're...
00:16:04reserved.
00:16:05Safe.
00:16:07Like I always taught you.
00:16:10Well, things change when you find out your sister has cancer.
00:16:14And besides,
00:16:16Michelangelo offered to help pay for some of your treatments.
00:16:19So I'm okay with a quick proposal.
00:16:22Michelangelo?
00:16:23The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:25No.
00:16:27Michelangelo...
00:16:28Dino Valeno?
00:16:29Maybe you've heard of him?
00:16:31Michelangelo Dino Valeno?
00:16:33Shh!
00:16:34Shh!
00:16:34Shh!
00:16:34Socialite Networks, like, start a hundred and cancel Bravo shows?
00:16:42How did you even meet?
00:16:44His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:47It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:51He's so toxic.
00:16:55Speak of the devil.
00:16:57Oh, yeah.
00:16:59You know, that's probably an old issue.
00:17:02This is a doctor's office.
00:17:03Amelia.
00:17:08Betsy Carlisle?
00:17:11Doctor's ready.
00:17:13We'll talk about this later.
00:17:14We'll talk about this later.
00:17:33We'll talk about this later.
00:17:42We'll talk about this later.
00:17:44Where did that come from?
00:18:14Nice place.
00:18:24I love the artwork.
00:18:26Thanks, Arlene.
00:18:28Ooh, good taste.
00:18:30No, I'm good.
00:18:33You had plenty at dinner.
00:18:35Far from me.
00:18:37You know, if you like it down here,
00:18:42you should see the bedroom.
00:18:52Who are you?
00:18:57Who are you?
00:18:59Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:19:04Whatever.
00:19:06Can you guys just keep it down?
00:19:08I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:10This is my house?
00:19:13We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:15Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:19:18You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:20What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:22Who's jealous?
00:19:24Jealous?
00:19:25I'm not jealous.
00:19:27Sweet dreams.
00:19:31I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:38How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:41Even if he is kinda hot.
00:19:43See you later.
00:19:58And um, don't worry about last night.
00:20:00Sorry.
00:20:01I had one too many to drink.
00:20:02It won't happen again.
00:20:04You better not.
00:20:05How's the hangover, roomie?
00:20:07Not now.
00:20:08My head's killing me.
00:20:09We need to talk about last night.
00:20:10No.
00:20:11What we need to do is order a three egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:12I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:14Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:15But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:16And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you're going to be a good
00:20:21man.
00:20:22I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:37Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:39But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:42And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:45Fine.
00:20:46I'll have her sign an NDA.
00:20:47Just give me my phone.
00:20:48My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:20:51And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:20:55Then neither of us get what we want.
00:20:57Yeah, no shit.
00:20:58I'm serious.
00:21:00Don't screw this up.
00:21:03I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:06I know what I'm doing.
00:21:07Dog walker.
00:21:08And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:11Whenever I want.
00:21:12Whenever I want.
00:21:13Wherever I want.
00:21:14Fine.
00:21:15Do whatever you want.
00:21:17I'm sorry.
00:21:18It's a bit harsh.
00:21:20I just really hung over.
00:21:25That could have gone better.
00:21:28How are you?
00:21:29Hey, baby.
00:21:30You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:21:31You're rich now.
00:21:32I know.
00:21:33I like it.
00:21:34Ah, it's good to hear.
00:21:35You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:36Tell me, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:21:37Oh, fine.
00:21:38Yeah, we're still getting to know each other.
00:21:39All right.
00:21:40Well, give him time, all right?
00:21:41Oh, and listen.
00:21:42He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:21:43Look, I promise.
00:21:44I wouldn't be so sure.
00:21:45Yeah, you're right.
00:21:46Well, we'll see you later.
00:21:47Yeah.
00:21:48Come on, Gucci.
00:21:49Come on.
00:21:50Bye, Gucci.
00:21:51Come on.
00:21:52Bye, Gucci.
00:21:53Hey, Amelia.
00:21:54Hey, Jake.
00:21:55Gucci, no.
00:21:56Oh.
00:21:57Oh.
00:21:58Oh, fine.
00:21:59Yeah.
00:22:00We're still getting to know each other.
00:22:01All right.
00:22:02Well, give him time, all right?
00:22:03Oh, and listen.
00:22:04He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:22:06Look, I promise.
00:22:07I wouldn't be so sure.
00:22:08Yeah.
00:22:09You're right.
00:22:10Well, we'll see you later.
00:22:11Yeah.
00:22:12Come on, Gucci.
00:22:13Yeah.
00:22:14Come on.
00:22:15Bye, Gucci.
00:22:16Hey, Amelia.
00:22:17Hey, Jake.
00:22:19Gucci, no.
00:22:20Oh.
00:22:21Royce.
00:22:22It's a bad dog, but I'm not actually mad about this.
00:22:27It's to see you up close for once.
00:22:29Yeah.
00:22:30Same here.
00:22:38Sorry.
00:22:39Gucci's, um, a bit crazy.
00:22:41His whole family, actually.
00:22:43All these rich people are nuts.
00:22:45They should make a reality show.
00:22:47Real dog owners of Beverly Hills.
00:22:50Do you want to walk together?
00:22:53Let these two get to know each other?
00:22:55Yeah.
00:22:56I'd like that.
00:22:58So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:23:06A couple months.
00:23:07I like it.
00:23:08I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:23:11Barista.
00:23:12Booper driver.
00:23:13Delivery guy.
00:23:15Movie extra?
00:23:17You were in a movie.
00:23:18Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:23:20I was trying to impress you.
00:23:21How about you?
00:23:22How long have you been doing this?
00:23:24I don't know.
00:23:25My whole life, I guess.
00:23:27It started as a summer job, and then I turned it into my own business.
00:23:32I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:23:34Wow.
00:23:35I guess you really like dogs.
00:23:37Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:23:40If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:23:45My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:23:48Do you want to go?
00:23:50I kind of have to admit I had a crush on you.
00:23:55You did?
00:23:57Yeah.
00:23:58I still do.
00:24:01He's cute.
00:24:04I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:24:07Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:24:15I'd love to go to the concert.
00:24:17Hell yeah.
00:24:19I mean, uh, regular.
00:24:21Yeah.
00:24:24I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:24:28I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:24:33Hey, what's your ring?
00:24:34Um, it's just a class ring from high school.
00:24:40Looks pretty big.
00:24:42It was a big school.
00:24:44Public schools.
00:24:45Am I right?
00:24:51I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:24:54Me?
00:24:55Engaged?
00:24:56No.
00:24:57Are you kidding?
00:24:58I'm 24.
00:24:59I'm practically still a baby.
00:25:00I mean, I should be wearing diapers, crawling around, drooling.
00:25:04Nope.
00:25:05Single and ready to mingle.
00:25:08Okay.
00:25:12Royce pooped.
00:25:13I should pick it up.
00:25:14Where?
00:25:15I don't see it.
00:25:16Just over there.
00:25:17Come on.
00:25:24Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:25:26Of course.
00:25:27It's an office.
00:25:28You want to be CEO, you gotta look the part.
00:25:31You mean like, you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:25:36Very funny.
00:25:37You know I'm retiring next year.
00:25:38Yes, I know.
00:25:39Yeah.
00:25:40That means you gotta get up to speed, rapidamente.
00:25:42So today you're gonna be my shadow, you'll be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:25:46Can I get Starbucks first?
00:25:47Fuck no.
00:25:49Come on, Dad.
00:25:58Wow!
00:26:02Oh my goodness.
00:26:03Are you okay?
00:26:05Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:26:06I'm Michelangelo.
00:26:12You're engaged, remember?
00:26:15And this is our new palette.
00:26:18It's Matt's collection.
00:26:20He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:26:24But yeah, that's the presentation for me, Michelangelo.
00:26:36What, Dad?
00:26:39What a day, Dad.
00:26:40It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:26:42Look at you.
00:26:43You got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:26:47Just stick with it, will you, kid?
00:26:49Hard work does pay off.
00:26:51Just look at Amelia.
00:26:53What about her?
00:26:54She comes from nothing, son.
00:26:55Nobody taught her how to run a business.
00:26:58But she just worked hard.
00:26:59And now, well now she earns money doing what she loves.
00:27:03I guess that's impressive.
00:27:05Yeah, see.
00:27:06See, it is.
00:27:07I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:27:10I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:27:18Break's over.
00:27:19Well, not too bad, huh?
00:27:36One day down.
00:27:38Forty more years to go.
00:27:42Now this is the time when you go home with Amelia,
00:27:46you talk about the day's work,
00:27:48raise you closer together,
00:27:50comfort each other,
00:27:51just like your mom and I used to do.
00:27:55You know, I'm thinking,
00:27:57it's time for the world to meet Amelia.
00:28:02Tonight.
00:28:04Tonight?
00:28:05Shit.
00:28:06When am I gonna tell Chantel?
00:28:07I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight.
00:28:09The L.A. Zoo fundraiser.
00:28:11Lights, camera, red carpet.
00:28:13Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition
00:28:15to the Dino, Virginia, Amelia.
00:28:19Don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:28:21I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:28:23What's the matter?
00:28:25You two are getting along, aren't you?
00:28:27Yeah, yeah.
00:28:28Just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:28:31Alright, so it's all settled.
00:28:33I'll see you at eight o'clock tonight,
00:28:34in the limo,
00:28:35and don't be late.
00:28:41Bye, Dad.
00:28:45So, remind me, why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:28:58Because I want to do something nice for my favorite big sister.
00:29:02And?
00:29:03And?
00:29:04And?
00:29:05You know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:29:07But, since I'm part of the Dino Levino family now,
00:29:10I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:29:13You better not let that hair down.
00:29:15Sorry.
00:29:16Just an expression.
00:29:24How's it going in there?
00:29:25I'm coming out.
00:29:36Is that bad?
00:29:38I've never seen a dog walker look this hot.
00:29:43Buy that dress.
00:29:45ASAP.
00:29:49Leave me alone, party boy.
00:29:51I've got my own function tonight.
00:30:21What are you looking at?
00:30:29You're spilling all over yourself.
00:30:31Oh, thanks.
00:30:33Um, I...
00:30:35Did you forget my name?
00:30:37No, it's just, uh, something different.
00:30:41Did you change your hair?
00:30:43Why do you care?
00:30:45The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:30:46I'm going out.
00:30:47I just forgot my charger.
00:30:48Awesome, thanks.
00:30:52I'm taking this.
00:30:53Oh, wait.
00:30:54I've been calling you.
00:30:55We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:30:56I told you.
00:30:57I'm busy.
00:30:58Hold on!
00:31:01Amelia!
00:31:10Alright, hey.
00:31:11Look who's right on time.
00:31:12Nice.
00:31:14Where's Amelia?
00:31:16She's... sick.
00:31:18She can't make it.
00:31:19Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no.
00:31:20If your fiancé's sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:31:24Yeah, you gotta stay home with her.
00:31:26Give her some...
00:31:27Give her some nice soup.
00:31:29I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:31:31Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better soon.
00:31:33Poor thing.
00:31:35Okay, Dad.
00:31:36See you in the office.
00:31:37Stupid dog walker?
00:31:38Tricking me with her makeover.
00:31:39I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:31:43Hey.
00:31:44It's Mike Landis with Dean Levino.
00:31:45Do you still track people?
00:31:46Hey.
00:31:47It's Mike Landis with Dean Levino.
00:31:48Do you still track people?
00:31:49Wow.
00:31:50Amelia.
00:31:51Hi.
00:31:52You look like you just walked off a runway.
00:31:54I'm just kidding.
00:31:55I'm just kidding.
00:31:56It's Mike Landis with Dean Levino.
00:31:57Hey.
00:31:58It's Mike Landis with Dean Levino.
00:31:59Do you still track people?
00:32:14Wow.
00:32:15Amelia.
00:32:16Hi.
00:32:17you look like you just walked off a runway without a dog sorry I don't come
00:32:25to concerts often I kind of panicked no worries I should have mentioned this is
00:32:29more of a $5 beer kind of place but you're drinking for free tonight
00:32:34talk to the bartender
00:32:38look like hey lover boy we're on gotta go find me in the green room after hope you like it
00:33:08all the little things that I'm not showing you rock stars are so much better than underwear models
00:33:16good nothing from Michelangelo maybe he's learned his lesson one more please
00:33:31but that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight
00:33:38Jake you guys are great you really think so I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes
00:33:53the who you don't know the strokes
00:33:57are they older I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl
00:34:03it's alright lots of stuff to introduce you to
00:34:07you want some of that a drink yeah thank you
00:34:11so when did you learn how to play guitar
00:34:19since I was 13
00:34:22played in bands all through high school and college but
00:34:25like this one's finally going someplace that's awesome when I get my record deal I can
00:34:31finally quit my job focus on music full time you're gonna quit dog walking I thought you
00:34:37liked it I do but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music I don't like dogs that
00:34:43much more of a cat person a cat person who doesn't like dogs even Michelangelo's good with Gucci I don't want to talk about work tonight I just want to relax have a good time
00:34:59good time beautiful you know that I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake no I'm not
00:35:08sure have nothing in common is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty
00:35:13what the heck I'm tipsy he's cute
00:35:19Michelangelo had his fun now I can have mine
00:35:29looks like someone needs obedience
00:35:36looks like someone needs obedience what's going on that's Michelangelo Dina
00:35:42Lavina the nepo baby underwear model he's not coming with me dog walker don't make me get the leash
00:35:49what the hell Michelangelo back off dude back off grubby little hipster she's my fiance
00:35:57so that was an engagement ring Jake I can explain let's go I'm really sorry Jake I'm not Jake
00:36:11this is for making me uber all the way to fucking sober Mike and this is for making me listen Andy
00:36:19I can't believe you did that after your high and mighty speech you're such a hypocrite
00:36:28yeah well I don't have the paparazzi following me around just an Italian American psycho
00:36:33I'm not following you around you know what I get it you saw me with Chantel last night and now you're
00:36:40jealous me jealous did you see the way that you were acting around Jake
00:36:45like I would ever fuck a dog walker I am more than a dog walker you playboy prick I have a name
00:36:51wait what are you doing that is an original I'm so sick of your bullshit
00:36:56oh fine I'll just hop in my time machine go back to ancient Rome and get another one
00:37:02I don't care about your art your money your stupid mansion you're treating me like shit
00:37:06that's from the renaissance you're history's worst nightmare
00:37:10I tried to make this work with you we signed a contract
00:37:13foreign arranged marriage did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a
00:37:18business transaction you are such a simpleton
00:37:20wait wait wait wait wait
00:37:24well at least I'm not a spoiled brat I tried to get along with you you brought this on to yourself
00:37:30I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement
00:37:32right back at you
00:37:33I fucking hate you
00:37:35I fucking hate you more
00:37:37I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm
00:38:37Uh, where am I? Who's spooning me? Is that Jake? How drunk was I?
00:38:51Michelangelo?
00:38:55Dog Walker.
00:38:57Oh, I forgot we did that last night. Must have been all those free beers.
00:39:03Uh-huh.
00:39:05We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:39:08We had too many drinks, but just forget it ever happened. If that's what you want.
00:39:13Definitely.
00:39:15Um, I have to go to work.
00:39:19I should get up too.
00:39:22Oh, my head.
00:39:24There's Pedialo in the fridge.
00:39:27Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:39:29Of course.
00:39:30My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:39:34Well, you look great.
00:39:36Thanks.
00:39:37I don't feel great. The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:39:45You, on the other hand, are glowing today. What's going on?
00:39:51So...
00:39:53Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:39:56Wait.
00:39:57For the first time?
00:39:59Yeah.
00:40:00We're taking it slow.
00:40:02Michelangelo.
00:40:04The male gigolo.
00:40:06Was taking it slow.
00:40:07Maybe I did misjudge him.
00:40:12And...
00:40:13How was it?
00:40:15Well...
00:40:16Really bad.
00:40:17Right?
00:40:18I knew it.
00:40:19Actually...
00:40:20It was the best sex I ever had?
00:40:23Well, that explains the glow.
00:40:29I am happy for you, sis.
00:40:31Physical chemistry is important.
00:40:34That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:40:36I don't get it.
00:40:38He and I are nothing alike, and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:40:41I feel like...
00:40:42Like an arcade game, and he just keeps getting the high score again and again and...
00:40:46You get the picture.
00:40:50Hey.
00:40:51Opposites attract.
00:40:54I mean...
00:40:55That's why you guys love each other so much.
00:40:58Because you're so different.
00:41:00Something like that.
00:41:10Here it comes.
00:41:11Right on the schedule.
00:41:12Dog walkers in love with me.
00:41:14I'll have to let her down easy.
00:41:17Weird.
00:41:18I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:41:21What was that about?
00:41:22Must be the hangover.
00:41:23What was that about?
00:41:24Must be the hangover.
00:41:25Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:41:26Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:41:27Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:41:28Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:41:32Hey, unfortunately, something came up.
00:41:33I...
00:41:34I...
00:41:35I...
00:41:36I can't make it tonight.
00:41:37I can't make it tonight.
00:41:38Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:41:39Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:41:40Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:41:41What?
00:41:42You know?
00:41:43I'd like to hang out tonight. Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:41:58Hey, unfortunately something came up. I can't make it tonight.
00:42:06Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker? And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:42:13I don't know.
00:42:31Hey.
00:42:34Hi.
00:42:36We should talk about Leslie.
00:42:39I'm not very good with words.
00:42:43Me neither.
00:42:44But last night I-
00:42:45You don't have to say anything. We both know it was a mistake. And we can just go back to hating each other. Like nothing ever happened.
00:42:53I don't think you understand if you would just listen to me for a second.
00:42:57Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings. I'm a big girl. I've had a one night stand before.
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before.
00:43:04Okay. I get it. I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses. You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily. I know that if you would take back last night that you would. And frankly so would I.
00:43:18Emily, you're driving me nuts. You don't understand. Let's get some take out and figure this thing out.
00:43:25I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me. Wait, did you just call me Amelia? What happened to dog walker?
00:43:36I have a confession to make.
00:43:42Last night, I don't know how. I don't know why. That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:43:51Really?
00:43:53Do I look like I'm lying? I'm not a good actor. I could even do reality TV.
00:43:58But there is a fire between us, Amelia. Some kind of crazy cosmic chemistry.
00:44:07You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:44:11Amelia, please. I know you felt it too.
00:44:21Amelia, please. Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:44:25I felt it too.
00:44:28I felt it too.
00:44:32So why are we fighting it?
00:44:34I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:37Me too.
00:44:38Me too.
00:45:08so i set the kitchen on fire how am i supposed to know you're not supposed to
00:45:17live fireball shots on fire it's not my fault they should change the name
00:45:22no wonder they canceled vanderpump's super yacht
00:45:27if you think that's funny just wait till the next episode the captain gets super drunk off
00:45:31espresso martinis and he almost sinks the boat you know when you're not acting like a complete
00:45:42douchebag you're not so bad thanks you know we could actually try this
00:45:49hey if the sex stays this good i'm open for anything i'm serious the wedding's coming up
00:45:58we could give it a shot you mean like you and me together together
00:46:04why not were you planning on marrying someone else
00:46:07oh gucci what's the rush
00:46:23oh hey royce
00:46:30jake how's it going good yeah look the other night was kind of crazy i know i should have told you
00:46:42about michelangelo we were kind of in a fight i'm sorry for bringing you into this is he always like
00:46:49that so aggressive and controlling i couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that
00:46:55he was like a caveman lugging home his woman
00:46:57well i am his woman he saw us together and he got jealous
00:47:02and i don't blame him oh my god am i actually sticking up for michelangelo
00:47:08dina volino i didn't mean a pride just wanted to make sure everything's okay
00:47:14i'm here if you need to talk
00:47:16thanks jake but i'm engaged remember and the only person i want to talk to is my fiance
00:47:24i thought we had a connection
00:47:26you're a cat person it never would have worked
00:47:30come on gucci let's go
00:47:32cats are awesome
00:47:37that was a great presentation
00:47:43the marketing director loved your ideas for the new line
00:47:46you think so
00:47:47maybe i'm finally starting to get a hang of this ceo thing
00:47:51oh yeah yeah now listen i gotta fly to paris for a few days
00:47:56you mind watching uh your little brother for me
00:47:58gucci sure
00:47:59but i mean you know dogs are more amelia's specialty
00:48:03yeah but that's how you impress her
00:48:05you invite her for a romantic date at the dog park
00:48:09at the dog park
00:48:09mm-hmm
00:48:10i just texted her it's all set
00:48:12now
00:48:13go get her lover boy
00:48:16so you just throw it and he brings it back
00:48:30you've never played fetch before
00:48:32it's my dad's dog not mine
00:48:35let me try
00:48:38that's okay
00:48:39i know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands
00:48:43do you ever get tired of the dog stuff
00:48:48no
00:48:50i like my work
00:48:52what's the point of working if you never get a chance to have fun
00:48:56you're right
00:48:58i should work less
00:48:59if nothing else
00:49:02you're letting me get closer to my little brother
00:49:04fetch gucci
00:49:09i've got a big surprise
00:49:15a surprise
00:49:17just wait and see
00:49:19have a good night
00:49:29have a good night mr dino heleno
00:49:29what's that
00:49:36special delivery from masterione's italian deli
00:49:40but gucci
00:49:43what's your favorite prosciutto
00:49:45you know
00:49:46you know that's awful for dogs right
00:49:49i thought you were
00:49:51off the clock today
00:49:53besides a special occasion
00:49:55i also thought we could use his water bowl
00:49:59to pour a little chianti into it
00:50:01i'm kidding
00:50:03this is for us
00:50:04why don't you get us a coarse cream
00:50:06what else is in the back
00:50:08just some
00:50:09imported italian ingredients
00:50:10so i can make you a real italian dinner
00:50:12you can cook
00:50:14that was so good
00:50:29i feel like i just
00:50:31went to italy
00:50:32even though i've never been
00:50:33how did you
00:50:35do this
00:50:35i can't cook
00:50:36at all
00:50:37making italian food
00:50:38is one of my favorite things to do
00:50:39did you learn in culinary school
00:50:41no
00:50:42my mom taught me
00:50:44tell me about her
00:50:46i've never told a girl about my mom
00:50:49sorry
00:50:50i don't mean to pry
00:50:52she
00:50:53passed away when i was eleven
00:50:55breast cancer
00:50:57but
00:50:58i have a lot of good memories of her
00:51:00she grew up in a little village in tuscany
00:51:03and
00:51:03she taught me everything i know about cooking
00:51:06we'd spend hours in the kitchen
00:51:08just cooking and eating and laughing
00:51:11i still
00:51:14have all of her recipes
00:51:15here
00:51:16handwritten in italian
00:51:18that's really special
00:51:20i miss her
00:51:23this might sound corny but
00:51:26i feel a little closer to her when i make her recipes
00:51:30it's not corny
00:51:31but i didn't know you're such a softie
00:51:34just
00:51:36don't tell tmz
00:51:37what about your parents
00:51:39my parents died in a car accident
00:51:42when i was thirteen
00:51:44it's been me and betsy ever since
00:51:47i'm sorry
00:51:48i just really hope these treatments work
00:51:51i don't want to lose her too
00:51:55i'm sorry
00:51:57your story made me emotional
00:51:59i'm gonna go do the dishes
00:52:01i'll help you
00:52:02no
00:52:03no it's fine
00:52:03i like doing the dishes
00:52:05it relaxes me
00:52:06good
00:52:07because i hate them
00:52:09well then i guess we make a good team
00:52:11is it just the wine
00:52:17or am i really falling for
00:52:19him
00:52:20her
00:52:20you don't want espresso
00:52:24hey
00:52:33hey
00:52:35do you want an espresso
00:52:37i just figured out how to make the machine work
00:52:39no thank you
00:52:41you need to have a morning meeting i'm kind of in a rush
00:52:43okay well
00:52:43don't forget gucci
00:52:45how could i
00:52:46ready bro
00:52:49well let me fix your tie
00:52:51what do you know about ties
00:52:54you wear t-shirts to work
00:52:56and you wore man thongs two weeks ago
00:52:59touche
00:53:00there you go
00:53:02okay bye
00:53:03bye
00:53:04love you
00:53:08love you too
00:53:16sorry
00:53:19reflex
00:53:20i didn't mean to say that
00:53:21me neither
00:53:22too soon
00:53:23talk about it later
00:53:26yeah
00:53:27okay
00:53:29okay
00:53:29could that have been any more awkward
00:53:32and is michelangelo really in love with me
00:53:36look who's here
00:53:42hey my little guy
00:53:44hey little gucci
00:53:46look at this right here
00:53:48look at this right here
00:53:49huh
00:53:49let's try
00:53:51oh yeah now here's a
00:53:54here's mine
00:53:55right
00:53:55just like that
00:53:57huh
00:53:57yeah
00:53:58even got one for big brother
00:54:00right there
00:54:01come to papa
00:54:03yes my boy
00:54:04all right
00:54:07all right
00:54:07so
00:54:07we gotta talk about this
00:54:09this wedding
00:54:10right
00:54:10this is two weeks off
00:54:11hollywood bowl
00:54:12they're waiting for an answer
00:54:14and i bumped into
00:54:15chris martin
00:54:16on the plane
00:54:17he says the band
00:54:18is free
00:54:19you like cold
00:54:20play right
00:54:21dad
00:54:22we can't have the wedding
00:54:23at the hollywood bowl
00:54:24cool
00:54:25well all right
00:54:27then we'll book
00:54:28the magic castle
00:54:29how about that
00:54:30not too big
00:54:30plenty room for cold play
00:54:31huh
00:54:32dad
00:54:33let's just pump the brakes
00:54:34we cannot plan a wedding like this
00:54:37what
00:54:37something wrong with
00:54:38me
00:54:39no
00:54:40everything is great
00:54:42it's better than great
00:54:44honestly
00:54:44but we cannot
00:54:46have a big flashy wedding
00:54:48that's
00:54:49our thing
00:54:50it's not amelia's thing
00:54:51i think it'd make it
00:54:53uncomfortable
00:54:53wow
00:54:56i never thought of that
00:54:57you know you have a very good point
00:55:00yeah
00:55:00i'm very impressed
00:55:03you've never acted like this
00:55:06with any other woman
00:55:07i can't say i've ever felt like this
00:55:10with another girl
00:55:11sounds like you might be falling in love
00:55:14love
00:55:15yeah
00:55:17i don't know
00:55:19he's so cute
00:55:21all right all right
00:55:23change of deal
00:55:24gonna cancel the hollywood bowl
00:55:26all right
00:55:27and then we'll have a nice small
00:55:28intimate affair
00:55:30a wedding
00:55:31with cold play
00:55:32no cold play dad
00:55:34no cold play
00:55:36so
00:55:43it's about my cancer treatment
00:55:46it's not working
00:55:48i know it
00:55:49i talked to my doctors yesterday
00:55:52and i'm cured
00:55:54what
00:55:55you're cured
00:55:57oh
00:55:58congratulations
00:56:00thank you
00:56:01i wasn't expecting it
00:56:04i didn't think i would be cured in only two sessions
00:56:06it only took two sessions
00:56:09i almost had enough in my savings to cover that
00:56:12maybe i didn't need the dina volino's money
00:56:15what's wrong sis
00:56:17we should be celebrating
00:56:19i brought prosecco
00:56:20no
00:56:22yeah
00:56:22no i'm good
00:56:24yeah
00:56:25amelia
00:56:26i'm your sister
00:56:28you can tell me anything
00:56:29is it michelangelo
00:56:32is everything okay
00:56:34if that punk pretty boy hurts you
00:56:37i will take that man thong
00:56:38and give him a wedgie so far up his butt
00:56:41that it will cut him in two
00:56:42it's not michelangelo
00:56:45let's see
00:56:45it's me
00:56:48i have to tell you something
00:56:51i cannot believe
00:56:57that they convinced you to do
00:56:58an arranged marriage
00:57:00what is this game of thrones
00:57:03it was the only way that i could pay for your treatments
00:57:05and you know that i would do anything for you
00:57:07actually
00:57:09he's not that bad
00:57:12i kind of like him
00:57:14yeah
00:57:16babe
00:57:17that's called stockholm syndrome
00:57:18we need to get you out of there
00:57:20betsy
00:57:21i have
00:57:23real feelings for him
00:57:25but
00:57:26what about the tabloid stories
00:57:29you heard what he did to that floozy in disney world
00:57:32they banned him
00:57:34for life
00:57:35you'll never go to epcot
00:57:36he's not actually like the stories
00:57:39or
00:57:40at least not to me
00:57:42he's only acting like that to get into your pants
00:57:45yes amelia
00:57:46if you marry michelangelo
00:57:49he will make your life a living hell
00:57:52what if you meet him
00:57:55yeah
00:57:56meet him
00:57:57maybe he'll change your mind
00:57:59maybe
00:57:59maybe you'll actually like him
00:58:01don't count on it
00:58:02please
00:58:03me
00:58:04just give him a chance
00:58:05fine
00:58:07yes
00:58:09only one
00:58:10yes
00:58:10you won't regret it
00:58:14i'm gonna go get the prosecco
00:58:15you better bring the whole bottle
00:58:20thank you for making dinner
00:58:24of course
00:58:26i'm glad she's cancer free
00:58:28we need to celebrate
00:58:29michelangelo
00:58:32you know that betsy is the most important person in the world to me
00:58:37right
00:58:37you mean besides me
00:58:38i'm serious
00:58:39it's really important to me that you two get along
00:58:42have a glass of wine
00:58:44tonight's gonna be great
00:58:47it's
00:58:57enormous
00:58:58why would anybody need so much room
00:59:03it's nice to see you too sis
00:59:07nice to finally meet you
00:59:10let's see
00:59:11so
00:59:14this is the
00:59:15infamous
00:59:17michelangelo
00:59:19how about we start off with a glass of champagne
00:59:2496 Dom Perignon
00:59:26Amelia said that's the year that you were born
00:59:27yeah
00:59:29sorry i can't drink that fancy stuff
00:59:31it's worth more than my car
00:59:33why would anybody spend that much on a drink
00:59:35$8.99 at ralph's
00:59:39it's delicious
00:59:40this was made in france
00:59:43sorry
00:59:44can't touch that stuff
00:59:46so
00:59:47who wants a drink
00:59:49you hardly touch your food
01:00:11it's a little too rich for me
01:00:16mine tastes great
01:00:18so michelangelo
01:00:22i have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up
01:00:27you don't mind do you
01:00:29fire away
01:00:30so i know you two have been having your
01:00:34fun
01:00:36um but what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off
01:00:43i don't think it's going to
01:00:45that's cute and all but
01:00:48what about her career are you gonna support her
01:00:51or kids what's your stance on that
01:00:53or are you just gonna
01:00:55jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious
01:00:58betsy
01:00:59look
01:01:00i know i have a past
01:01:02but
01:01:03i'm committed to it
01:01:05we haven't talked about kids but
01:01:07i'm open to anything
01:01:08see michelangelo that's my point
01:01:10you two are getting married
01:01:12and you barely know each other
01:01:14we know now
01:01:15easy betsy
01:01:17i just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon
01:01:21and if you really cared about amelia
01:01:23you would give her the time
01:01:26and what makes you such an expert
01:01:27i don't see a ring on your finger
01:01:29michelangelo
01:01:31you probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now
01:01:34it's no wonder amelia was so uptight when i met her
01:01:36she gets it from you
01:01:36are you gonna let him talk to me like that amelia
01:01:40you started it
01:01:47why don't we all just
01:01:49calm down
01:01:50betsy's just looking out for my best interest
01:01:52no
01:01:53she's alone and miserable
01:01:54and trying to drag you down with her
01:01:56that's not fair michelangelo
01:01:58she's not been fair to me since she walked through the door
01:02:00you're the horniest bastard in beverly hills
01:02:02and you're a frigid lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy
01:02:05you know what
01:02:06you can't talk to betsy like that
01:02:08that's my sister
01:02:09she just survived cancer
01:02:10that doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house
01:02:16this is my house too and she can say whatever she wants
01:02:19not to me
01:02:20you know maybe she should be concerned
01:02:22i don't like this side of you
01:02:23see i told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other
01:02:26but i guess the contract doesn't allow for that
01:02:28you told her
01:02:29she's my sister
01:02:31i don't care that violates our agreement
01:02:33oh is that all i am to you
01:02:34a contractual agreement some kind of obligation
01:02:37it's not what i meant
01:02:39it came out wrong amelia
01:02:40i love you
01:02:42you love me
01:02:44don't listen to him
01:02:46he doesn't even know what that means
01:02:47shut the fuck up
01:02:48you know what
01:02:50maybe she was right
01:02:51i shouldn't have signed that contract
01:02:53it's over
01:02:53we need to get out of here
01:03:01i've seen too many true crime documentaries on netflix
01:03:04to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets
01:03:06emilia
01:03:11i know this is hard to hear
01:03:13but
01:03:14you did the right thing
01:03:17you do so much better than him
01:03:19yeah
01:03:20but he isn't a monster
01:03:23i shouldn't have said that
01:03:24we can talk about it on the road
01:03:26get packing
01:03:28and if we leave now
01:03:30we can get to mexico by dawn
01:03:31play low for a bit
01:03:32mexico
01:03:33or canada
01:03:34whatever
01:03:35it's that or stay here and get sued
01:03:37by the dino lovinos
01:03:39or worse
01:03:41i don't think romulus and michelangelo would sue us
01:03:44i mean
01:03:44i only told you about the contract
01:03:47it's not like i told the media
01:03:48you don't know that
01:03:50we're
01:03:51liabilities
01:03:53loose ends
01:03:54you should listen to more true crime podcast
01:03:56get rid of that thing
01:04:02they could be tracking us right now
01:04:04yeah you know michelangelo did manage to follow me to the echoplex the other night
01:04:09see
01:04:11he could have a sniper on us
01:04:14it's romulus
01:04:18hey romulus
01:04:19what
01:04:21what do you mean gucci's missing
01:04:26you came
01:04:37against my better judgment
01:04:40i'm not happy you've been blowing me off
01:04:43i've just been busy
01:04:45but
01:04:45it's over with now
01:04:48you should
01:04:50punish me for straying
01:04:52you make me sick
01:04:55i make me sick
01:04:57nice
01:05:06underwear
01:05:08great craftsmanship
01:05:11okay
01:05:16let's get this over with
01:05:18is that all you have to say
01:05:22do you even realize how hot i am
01:05:25i'm
01:05:26sorry
01:05:27chantelle
01:05:29i thought i wanted this
01:05:32but i don't
01:05:34i'm not the stud that i used to be
01:05:38amelia broke up with me
01:05:43it feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes
01:05:50never in a million years did i think i'd fall for dog walk with my hair i am fucking devastated
01:05:57and all her wishes i could take back how i acted
01:06:00i just want her to come back to me
01:06:04i just wanted to come back to me
01:06:07i'll be right there
01:06:12amelia
01:06:15hi dad
01:06:18gucci's gone
01:06:20i'll be right there
01:06:27Gucci, Gucci, where are ya?
01:06:29Romulus.
01:06:30What?
01:06:30Oh.
01:06:31Oh.
01:06:33Well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:06:37We're practically in the house and then all of a sudden, he just shot off like a rocket.
01:06:41I've been calling him all night, but he won't come back!
01:06:45Well, we can help you find him.
01:06:48Yeah.
01:06:49Right?
01:06:51Good, thanks.
01:06:53Gucci.
01:06:54This better not be a trap.
01:06:55Just come on.
01:06:57Gucci.
01:06:59Gucci.
01:07:00Gucci.
01:07:01Gucci.
01:07:02Gucci.
01:07:02Hey, hey, hey, where's Michelangelo, huh?
01:07:04I thought you were both together.
01:07:05Why isn't he here with you?
01:07:06Oh, um, he's...
01:07:08Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:07:10Where were ya?
01:07:11I had to stop for late-night delivery at Mastriani's.
01:07:14It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:07:16If this doesn't ring out of hiding, nothing will.
01:07:20Smart move, kid.
01:07:21Here, ladies, take a piece of this prosciutto here.
01:07:24That's it, Dad.
01:07:26Give me the urc.
01:07:28Give me the urc.
01:07:29Give me the urc.
01:07:40Gucci!
01:07:41He's hopeless.
01:07:42We've been looking for him all night long.
01:07:44We're never gonna find him.
01:07:45Don't give up, Dad.
01:07:46He's just off having a little adventure.
01:07:47Keep looking.
01:07:48He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:07:49See?
01:07:50They're not gonna kill us.
01:07:51I do have to admit, though.
01:07:52I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:07:54He's really there for his dad.
01:07:56His dad's dog.
01:07:57So you approve now?
01:07:58They didn't say that.
01:07:59Gucci!
01:08:00Gucci!
01:08:01Gucci!
01:08:02My boy's back!
01:08:03Oh!
01:08:04Coochie!
01:08:05Coochie!
01:08:06My boy's back!
01:08:07Oh!
01:08:08Coochie!
01:08:09Coochie!
01:08:10Coochie!
01:08:11My boy's back!
01:08:12Oh!
01:08:13So you approve now?
01:08:15They didn't say that.
01:08:18Coochie!
01:08:22Coochie! My boy's back!
01:08:32Okay, okay. I'm a little closer to approving.
01:08:43I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:08:51A little.
01:08:53It's okay. Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:08:57They just leave out part of the story.
01:09:00Amelia, can we talk?
01:09:05Please?
01:09:09Amelia, can we talk?
01:09:14Please?
01:09:15Okay.
01:09:24Amelia, I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:09:29I shouldn't have attacked your sister, and I shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the contract.
01:09:34I hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement.
01:09:43Thanks for saying that. I needed to hear that.
01:09:47And I'm sorry for calling you a monster. You're not one. I'm still learning new things about you. Most of them are good. I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:10:02I'm not.
01:10:04I'm not.
01:10:08You're not? What do you mean?
01:10:12Amelia, this might sound crazy, but I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:10:17And I don't want some silly piece of paper to pee the reason that we stay together. I want to know that our love is real.
01:10:26Dad.
01:10:30What is this, son?
01:10:32I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia.
01:10:35Why, son?
01:10:37Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:10:39And not because of some legal obligation, but because she wants to.
01:10:53Consider our contracts null and void.
01:11:02Amelia, what will it be?
01:11:05Will you marry me?
01:11:08Will you marry me?
01:11:12Will you marry me?
01:11:15Yes.
01:11:16I'll marry you.
01:11:17You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world.
01:11:35And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:11:38Look at me.
01:11:40I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:11:42All right, all right, you two. That's enough, all right?
01:11:48We spent this whole night together.
01:11:50Come over to my place, all right?
01:11:52We'll have a nice breakfast Italian style.
01:11:55Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:11:58I think I can get used to it.
01:12:00And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:12:03I want to hear from everybody involved.
01:12:05Especially Coldplay.
01:12:07We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:12:09It was worth a try.
01:12:10And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:12:37Michelangelo?
01:12:42Amelia, even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're perfect together.
01:12:50I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time and not just about dogs.
01:12:56I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:13:01I'm looking forward to your support and counsel as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:13:12And in return, I promise to be patient and loving husband as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamed of.
01:13:25Amelia, you're the only thing better than free underwear.
01:13:35I love you so much.
01:13:37I never thought I would end up with a former man thong model, but here we are.
01:13:50Michelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest.
01:13:54Something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:14:03And although we haven't spent much time together, it feels like a lifetime in a good way.
01:14:08I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:14:11Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:14:13I love you.
01:14:15With the power vested in me by Almighty God and the city of Beverly Hills, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
01:14:22You may kiss your bride.
01:14:32Thanks.
01:14:34I'm Betsy, Amelia's sister.
01:14:36I'm Jake.
01:14:38Another dog walker.
01:14:40It's crazy.
01:14:41You know, given my sister.
01:14:43I've always been more of a cat person.
01:14:45Me too!
01:14:47Woo!
01:14:49Oh!
01:14:50Ah!
01:14:54Cheers!
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