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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00...married.
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:08Your place or mine.
00:00:09I'm not staying in a doghouse.
00:00:12Ahem.
00:00:13Can you guys just keep it down? I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:00:22Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?
00:00:29She's my sister.
00:00:30I don't care. That violates our agreement.
00:00:32How?
00:00:33What the fuck?
00:00:36What?
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Don't walk around.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite.
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:00:43I fucking hate you.
00:00:45I fucking hate you more.
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well?
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:01:00Wait.
00:01:01What are you doing?
00:01:02That is an original.
00:01:03I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:01:06Oh, fine.
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:13You're treating me like shit.
00:01:16That's from the Renaissance.
00:01:17You are history's worst nightmare.
00:01:19I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:20We signed a contract.
00:01:21For an arranged marriage.
00:01:22Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:27You are such a simpleton.
00:01:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:01:32Wait.
00:01:33Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:01:35I tried to get along with you.
00:01:36You brought this onto yourself.
00:01:37I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:01:40Right back at you.
00:01:42I fucking hate you.
00:01:43I hate you.
00:01:44I fucking hate you more.
00:02:06So, you were arrested.
00:02:09Again.
00:02:10To be fair,
00:02:13we thought I was leaving.
00:02:14We'll just swim there.
00:02:16There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:19It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters.
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me,
00:02:27I wouldn't have came.
00:02:31Come on, Gucci. Come on.
00:02:33Good boy.
00:02:41Come on, Gucci. Let's go.
00:02:43Hey, Amelia.
00:02:45Hey, Jake.
00:02:51Come on, Gucci. Let's go.
00:02:52You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:03:02It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:03:07The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:09I make my own money.
00:03:12Oh, you see, you see.
00:03:14Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:16I am the spokesperson for Mantho.
00:03:18That means free underwear for life.
00:03:20For life.
00:03:22Some parents would be proud.
00:03:23Yeah?
00:03:24Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:28You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:32Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:39Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:03:41And don't be late.
00:03:44Bye, Dad.
00:03:54Excuse me.
00:04:04Hello, my Gucci.
00:04:06Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:04:09He used to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:14Like you, Amelia.
00:04:17Good one, Romulus.
00:04:23These are great.
00:04:37I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:39Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:42No problem.
00:04:43Cool.
00:04:44Let's take five and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:04:46Hi.
00:04:51I'm Michelangelo.
00:04:53Chantal.
00:04:54Nice to meet you.
00:04:56I couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:05:00I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:05:04Hold that thought.
00:05:07Hey, Dad.
00:05:09Where the hell were you?
00:05:11Dad, I'm on a photo shoot.
00:05:12You're supposed to be at the office.
00:05:15Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:05:18I can meet him later.
00:05:20Two ladies back on the plane again.
00:05:22Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:05:24Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:05:27You've got to stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:05:29You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:05:33You interned. You went to business school.
00:05:36You have potential, okay?
00:05:38But you say you want to be the CEO?
00:05:39Well, you're going to have to prove it.
00:05:41Because so far...
00:05:43I ain't seen Niente from you.
00:05:46But...
00:05:50Hey.
00:05:52You okay?
00:05:54Yeah.
00:05:56But...
00:05:57I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:05:59So, it's a really rare form of cancer.
00:06:17Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:06:20I thought...
00:06:22There is an experimental treatment.
00:06:25But it's really expensive.
00:06:27And my insurance doesn't cover it.
00:06:30Don't worry about that.
00:06:32I have money saved.
00:06:34I'll find the rest.
00:06:35We will figure this out, okay?
00:06:37We're going to get through this together.
00:06:41Julia.
00:06:42Oh.
00:06:55Ciao, Gucci.
00:06:57Did she have a good walk?
00:07:01What's wrong?
00:07:02No.
00:07:05Yeah.
00:07:08I'm sorry.
00:07:09This...
00:07:10No, no, forget about it.
00:07:11I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:13The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:16I have a savings...
00:07:18For my doggy daycare.
00:07:19My dream, but...
00:07:23It's only enough for one treatment.
00:07:25And who knows how many she's going to need.
00:07:27Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After her parents passed,
00:07:31I would do anything for her.
00:07:35Amelia.
00:07:37I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:40You do?
00:07:42Come back tonight.
00:07:44And...
00:07:46Make something nice.
00:07:49Come on, baby.
00:07:58Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:08:04Except for the dog hair.
00:08:06Well, come with me.
00:08:08I have someone I want you to meet.
00:08:11Are they from Italy?
00:08:13Yes.
00:08:14Wow.
00:08:15Yes, of course, everything's from Italy here.
00:08:17Well...
00:08:19Amelia, meet Michelangelo on my side.
00:08:22I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday.
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:26Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:28I'm a dog walker.
00:08:30Don't be so defensive.
00:08:32I wasn't.
00:08:37Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:41I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:43Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:45Amelia.
00:08:47Arrivederci, huh?
00:08:56Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:02What exactly?
00:09:11How does it look?
00:09:13Not half bad.
00:09:15I mean, it's fine.
00:09:16Whatever.
00:09:18Let's do some sexy ones, okay?
00:09:21Or not.
00:09:23I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:26You work for my dad.
00:09:27You have to do what I say.
00:09:29You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:31Just a few more pictures.
00:09:33I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:35I don't need Tinder.
00:09:37I'm an underwear model.
00:09:38My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:47Pour me another.
00:09:49I told you, I'm...
00:09:51Fine.
00:10:00See, dog walker.
00:10:02That wasn't so hard.
00:10:06What the fuck?!
00:10:08This is fucking Prada!
00:10:13Asshole!
00:10:15You crazy bitch!
00:10:19Amelia!
00:10:21What's wrong?
00:10:23I asked her to pour me another drink, and she flipped out!
00:10:26I'm sorry, Romulus, but your son is a prick.
00:10:28I'm gonna be leaving.
00:10:29No, no, no, please.
00:10:30I apologize.
00:10:32My son, he's immature.
00:10:34And that's why I invited you.
00:10:36Put forward it.
00:10:38Please.
00:10:40Just have a seat.
00:10:42And I promise, he'll be on his best behavior for the rest of the night.
00:10:44Won't you, son?
00:10:46So, Amelia needs money to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:10:50Cancer?
00:10:53And you need to settle down and prove that you're worthy of running the family business.
00:10:58Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:01Okay.
00:11:02I want the business.
00:11:04I think we can, uh, make a deal whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:12Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:11:15No.
00:11:17You two just have to get married, that's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:23Romulus, what are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:30Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:11:33Well, Angela, look, you have to grow up before you can run our business.
00:11:38And the best way to do that is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:42We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:47There's something uncommon already.
00:11:49Look, you know, my wife and I, we were opposites.
00:11:53Oh, yeah, we were like pizza and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:56She sure drove me crazy with my first match.
00:12:00I know you're probably thinking I'm just some old fool, huh?
00:12:04But I learned a thing or two in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:10Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:12As if.
00:12:14Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:12:16I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life.
00:12:18Amelia, you do want to help your sister, don't you?
00:12:21Or you'll be able to afford the treatment if you just agree to this arrangement.
00:12:27What's it going to be?
00:12:34What's it going to be?
00:12:37Fine.
00:12:39I'll do it.
00:12:41For Betsy.
00:12:45Michelangelo, it's not polite to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:50If you're not going to agree to marry her,
00:12:52then you're going to lose the business.
00:12:56And you're also going to lose your inheritance.
00:12:59What the hell, Dad?
00:13:03Fuck it. Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:06Now, let's just go into the office now.
00:13:09The lorries have already drafted the contract.
00:13:12And, son, we're going to need some champagne.
00:13:15You're in my mind.
00:13:16Try and make yourself look decent now.
00:13:18You will be engaged for a period of 30 days, followed by a wedding planned by me.
00:13:28And I'll tell you, it's going to be a big one for the ages, too.
00:13:31I hope the Halloween Bowl's not booked.
00:13:34Anyway, you must move in together immediately to avoid any suspicion, you know.
00:13:39Look, there's nothing wrong with an arranged marriage, but, well, it can't do any good if word got out to the public, right?
00:13:45That's why this has to be our own secret.
00:13:49Are we agreed?
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:53All right.
00:13:54Sign in.
00:14:13Salute to the new couple.
00:14:24So.
00:14:26Your place or mine?
00:14:28I'm not staying at a doghouse.
00:14:30Fine.
00:14:31Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:42So this is Michelangelo's place.
00:14:45It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo museum.
00:14:50Ugh.
00:14:54Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:14:55What was this?
00:14:56Put it in the trash.
00:14:57This isn't trash.
00:14:58These are my sisters.
00:14:59She's an artist.
00:15:00So put them in your room.
00:15:01I said you could live here, not decorate.
00:15:02Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:03Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:15:04That's man thong.
00:15:05It's trademarked.
00:15:06Look.
00:15:07I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:08If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back, I'm throwing it all in the fireplace.
00:15:13It's electric.
00:15:14Oh, by the way.
00:15:15This is gonna work.
00:15:16You might want to start wearing that.
00:15:17Gee, thanks.
00:15:18Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:19I'm sorry.
00:15:20Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:15:21That's man thong.
00:15:22It's trademarked.
00:15:23Look.
00:15:24I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:25If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back, I'm throwing it all in the fireplace.
00:15:28It's electric.
00:15:29Oh, by the way, this is gonna work.
00:15:35You might want to start wearing that.
00:15:38Gee, thanks.
00:15:39Welcome.
00:15:40You're getting married?
00:15:41Shh, Betsy.
00:15:42Don't tell the whole world.
00:15:43I'm sorry.
00:15:44I'm sorry.
00:15:45I'm sorry.
00:15:46I'm sorry.
00:15:47I'm sorry.
00:15:48I'm sorry.
00:15:49I'm sorry.
00:15:50I'm sorry.
00:15:51I'm sorry.
00:15:52I'm sorry.
00:15:53I'm sorry.
00:15:54I'm sorry.
00:15:55I'm sorry.
00:15:56I'm sorry.
00:15:57I'm sorry.
00:15:58I'm sorry.
00:15:59Amelia.
00:16:00It's just...
00:16:01It's not like you.
00:16:03Actually, we're...
00:16:04Reserved.
00:16:05Safe.
00:16:06Like I always taught you.
00:16:09Well, things change when you find out your sister has cancer.
00:16:15And besides, Michelangelo offered to help pay for some of your treatments.
00:16:19So, I'm okay with a quick proposal.
00:16:22Michelangelo?
00:16:23The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:25No.
00:16:26No.
00:16:27Michelangelo...
00:16:28Dino Valino?
00:16:29Maybe you've...
00:16:30Heard of him?
00:16:31Michelangelo Dino Valino?!
00:16:33Shhh!
00:16:34Socialite animals?
00:16:35Like start a hundred cancelled Bravo shows?
00:16:37How did you even meet?
00:16:38His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:39It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:40He's so toxic.
00:16:41Speak of the devil.
00:16:42Oh yeah.
00:16:43You know, that's probably an old issue.
00:16:44This is a doctor's office.
00:16:45Amelia.
00:16:46Amelia.
00:16:47Fancy Carlisle?
00:16:48Doctor's ready.
00:16:49We'll talk about this later.
00:16:50You know, he's so toxic.
00:16:52He's so toxic.
00:16:53He's so toxic.
00:16:54He's so toxic.
00:16:55He's so toxic.
00:16:56You know, he's so toxic.
00:16:57He's so toxic.
00:16:58He's so toxic.
00:16:59He's so toxic.
00:17:00He's so toxic.
00:17:01That's probably an old issue.
00:17:03This is a doctor's office.
00:17:06Amelia.
00:17:09Betsy Carlile?
00:17:11Doctor's ready.
00:17:14We'll talk about this later.
00:17:31We're just gonna wet, baby.
00:17:39We're already wet.
00:17:56Where did that come from?
00:18:01Where did that come from?
00:18:02Where did that come from?
00:18:03Where did that come from?
00:18:24Nice place.
00:18:25I love the artwork.
00:18:27Thanks.
00:18:28Finally.
00:18:29Woman with good taste.
00:18:33Oh, I'm good.
00:18:34You had plenty at dinner.
00:18:36More for me.
00:18:41You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bedroom.
00:18:45Who are you?
00:18:57Who are you?
00:18:58Who are you?
00:18:59Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:19:03Amelia.
00:19:04Whatever.
00:19:05Whatever.
00:19:06Can you guys just keep it down?
00:19:08I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:10This is my house?
00:19:12We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:15Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:19:18You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:20What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:22Who's jealous?
00:19:23Who's jealous?
00:19:24Jealous?
00:19:25I'm not jealous.
00:19:29Sweet dreams.
00:19:37I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:39How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:42Even if he is kinda hot.
00:20:02See you later.
00:20:04And, um, don't worry about last night.
00:20:07Sorry.
00:20:08I had one too many to drink.
00:20:10It won't happen again.
00:20:11Better not.
00:20:24How's the hangover, roomie?
00:20:26Not now.
00:20:27My head's killing me.
00:20:29We need to talk about last night.
00:20:30No.
00:20:31What we need to do is order a three egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:33I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:37Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:39But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:42And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:45Fine.
00:20:46I'll have her sign an NDA.
00:20:47Just give me my phone.
00:20:48My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:20:52And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:20:56Then neither of us get what we want.
00:20:58Yeah, no shit.
00:20:59I'm serious.
00:21:00Don't screw this up.
00:21:02I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:06I know what I'm doing.
00:21:08Dog walker.
00:21:09And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:12Whenever I want.
00:21:13Wherever I want.
00:21:15Fine.
00:21:16Do whatever you want.
00:21:18Sorry.
00:21:19It's a bit harsh.
00:21:21I'm just really...
00:21:23hungover.
00:21:25That could have gone better.
00:21:26How are you?
00:21:27Hey, baby.
00:21:28You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:21:29You're rich now.
00:21:30I know.
00:21:31I like it.
00:21:32Ah, it's good to hear.
00:21:33You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:47Tell me, uh, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:21:51Oh, fine.
00:21:52Yeah.
00:21:53We're still getting to know each other.
00:21:55All right.
00:21:56Well, give him time, all right?
00:21:58Oh, and listen.
00:21:59He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:22:02Look, I...
00:22:03I promise.
00:22:04I wouldn't be so sure.
00:22:05Yeah.
00:22:06You're right.
00:22:07Well, we'll see you later.
00:22:08Yeah.
00:22:09Right.
00:22:10Come on, Gucci.
00:22:11Yeah.
00:22:12Come on.
00:22:13Bye, Gooch.
00:22:17Hey, Amelia.
00:22:18Hey, Jake.
00:22:20Gucci, no!
00:22:21Royce!
00:22:23It's a bad dog, but...
00:22:25I'm not actually mad about this.
00:22:27It's to see you up close for once.
00:22:29Yeah.
00:22:30Same here.
00:22:34Sorry.
00:22:39Gucci's, um, a bit crazy.
00:22:42His whole family, actually.
00:22:44All these rich people are nuts.
00:22:46They should make a reality show.
00:22:48We're all dog owners of Beverly Hills.
00:22:51Do you want to walk together?
00:22:54Let these two get to know each other?
00:22:56Yeah.
00:22:57I'd like to.
00:23:04So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:23:07A couple months.
00:23:08I like it.
00:23:09I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:23:12Barista.
00:23:13Uber driver.
00:23:14Delivery guy.
00:23:16Movie extra?
00:23:18You were in a movie.
00:23:19Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:23:21I was trying to impress you.
00:23:23How about you?
00:23:24How long have you been doing this?
00:23:26I don't know.
00:23:27My whole life, I guess.
00:23:29It started as a summer job, and then I turned it into my own business.
00:23:33I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:23:35Wow.
00:23:36I guess you really like dogs.
00:23:38Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:23:43If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:23:46My band's playing at the Echoplex tonight.
00:23:49Do you want to go?
00:23:51I kind of have to admit, I got a crush on you.
00:23:55You did?
00:23:58Yeah.
00:23:59I still do.
00:24:04He's cute.
00:24:05I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:24:08Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:24:12I'd love to go to the concert.
00:24:17Hell yeah.
00:24:19I mean, uh, regular.
00:24:21Yeah.
00:24:24I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:24:28I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:24:33Hey, what's your ring?
00:24:36Um, it's just a class ring.
00:24:39From high school.
00:24:40Looks pretty big.
00:24:43It was a big school.
00:24:45Public schools.
00:24:46Am I right?
00:24:52I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:24:55Me?
00:24:56Engaged?
00:24:57No.
00:24:58Are you kidding?
00:24:59I'm 24.
00:25:00I'm practically still a baby.
00:25:01I mean, I should be wearing diapers, crawling around, drooling.
00:25:05Nope.
00:25:06Single and ready to mingle.
00:25:08Okay.
00:25:09Royce pooped.
00:25:10You should pick it up.
00:25:11Where?
00:25:12I don't see it.
00:25:13Just over there.
00:25:14Come on.
00:25:15Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:25:17Of course.
00:25:18It's an office.
00:25:19You wanna be CEO?
00:25:20You gotta look the part.
00:25:21You mean like, you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factor?
00:25:22Very funny.
00:25:23You know I'm retiring next year.
00:25:24Yes, I know.
00:25:25Yeah.
00:25:26That means you gotta get up to speed rapidamente.
00:25:27So today you're gonna be my shout, you be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:25:30Can I get Starbucks first?
00:25:31Fuck no.
00:25:32Come on, Dad.
00:25:33Come on, Dad.
00:25:34Okay.
00:25:35Wow!
00:25:36Oh my goodness.
00:25:37Are you okay?
00:25:38Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:25:39I'm Michelangelo.
00:25:40I'm Michelangelo.
00:25:41I'm Michelangelo.
00:25:42I'm Michelangelo.
00:25:43I'm Michelangelo.
00:25:44I'm Michelangelo.
00:25:45I'm Michelangelo.
00:25:46I'm Michelangelo.
00:25:47I'm Michelangelo.
00:25:48I'm retiring next year.
00:25:49Yes, I know.
00:25:50That means you gotta get up to speed rapidamente.
00:25:51So today you're gonna be my shout, you be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:25:53Can I get Starbucks first?
00:25:55Fuck no.
00:25:56Come on, Dad.
00:25:59Wow!
00:26:03Oh my goodness.
00:26:04Are you okay?
00:26:06Hi, I'm Michelangelo.
00:26:13You're engaged, remember?
00:26:16And this is our new palette.
00:26:19It's Matt's collection.
00:26:21He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:26:25But yeah, that's the presentation.
00:26:27For me, Michelangelo.
00:26:37What, Dad?
00:26:40What a day, Dad.
00:26:41It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:26:43Look at you, you got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:26:48Just stick with it, will ya, kid?
00:26:50Hard work does pay off.
00:26:52Just look at Amelia.
00:26:54What about her?
00:26:55She comes from nothing, son.
00:26:56Nobody taught her how to run a business.
00:26:58But she just worked hard.
00:26:59And now...
00:27:01Well, now she earns money doing what she loves.
00:27:03I guess that's impressive.
00:27:05Yeah, see.
00:27:06See, it is.
00:27:07I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:27:10I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:27:12Break's over.
00:27:13Well, not too bad, huh?
00:27:14One day down.
00:27:15Forty more years to go.
00:27:17Heh, heh, heh, heh.
00:27:18Now this is the time when you go home with Amelia and you go home with Amelia and you go home with a mirror.
00:27:23You talk about the day's work, raise you closer together, comfort each other just like your mom and I.
00:27:30used to do.
00:27:36You know I'm thinking it's time for the world to meet.
00:27:39And I'll invite you to talk to us first.
00:27:40Now this is the time
00:27:43when you go home with Amelia
00:27:46you talk about the day's work
00:27:48raise you closer together
00:27:50comfort each other
00:27:51just like your mom and I used to do
00:27:54You know, I'm thinking
00:27:56it's time for the world
00:27:58to meet Amelia
00:28:00tonight
00:28:02Tonight?
00:28:05Shit, when am I going to tell Chantel?
00:28:08I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight
00:28:09The L.A. Zoo fundraiser
00:28:11Lights, camera, red carpet
00:28:13Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition
00:28:15to the Dino Verdea
00:28:17Amelia
00:28:18Don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:28:21I mean, we just signed the contract
00:28:23What's the matter?
00:28:26You're getting along, aren't you?
00:28:27Yeah, yeah, just really starting
00:28:30to warm up to each other
00:28:31Alright, so it's all settled
00:28:33I'll see you at 8 o'clock tonight, in the limo
00:28:36and don't be late
00:28:37Why, Dad?
00:28:42Mm-hmm
00:28:42So, remind me
00:28:55Why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:28:58Because I want to do something nice
00:29:00for my favorite big sister
00:29:01and
00:29:03And
00:29:04You know I never splurge on stuff like this
00:29:07But, since I'm part of the Dino Levino family now
00:29:10I think I can afford to let my hair down
00:29:13You better not let that hair down
00:29:15Sorry, just an expression
00:29:17How's it going in there?
00:29:26I'm coming out
00:29:27It's that bad
00:29:37I've never seen a dog walker
00:29:41look this hot
00:29:43Buy that dress
00:29:44ASAP
00:29:45Leave me alone, party boy
00:29:51I've got my own function tonight
00:29:53I've got my own have a lot of things
00:29:56That holds my own accent
00:29:57Which is important
00:29:58As I can unfold
00:30:00My own vibration
00:30:01While I know
00:30:02Where are we villains
00:30:02Which legislature
00:30:03Go into
00:30:04Once
00:30:06And
00:30:06Like
00:30:08For
00:30:08Dinner
00:30:09And
00:30:09We
00:30:10Those
00:30:10Move
00:30:11What are you looking at?
00:30:30You're spilling all over yourself.
00:30:31Oh, thanks.
00:30:32Did you forget my name?
00:30:37No, it's just something different.
00:30:41And did you change your hair?
00:30:43Why do you care?
00:30:44The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:30:46I'm going out.
00:30:47I just forgot my charger.
00:30:48Awesome, thanks.
00:30:52I'm taking this.
00:30:54Wait, I've been calling you.
00:30:55We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:30:56I told you, I'm busy.
00:30:58Hold on!
00:31:02Amelia!
00:31:02All right, hey, look who's right on time.
00:31:13Nice.
00:31:14Where's Amelia?
00:31:16She's sick.
00:31:18She can't make it.
00:31:20Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:31:21If your fiancé's sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:31:24Yeah, you got to stay home with her.
00:31:26Give her some nice soup.
00:31:29I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:31:31Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better sooner.
00:31:33Poor thing.
00:31:35Okay, Dad.
00:31:37See you in the office.
00:31:44Stupid dog walker?
00:31:45Tricking me with her makeover.
00:31:46I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:31:48Hey, it's Michael Landy with Dean Levino.
00:31:59Do you still track people?
00:32:15Wow.
00:32:16Amelia.
00:32:17Hi.
00:32:17You look like you just walked off a runway without a dog.
00:32:24Sorry, I don't come to concerts often.
00:32:27I kind of panicked.
00:32:28No worries.
00:32:29I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:32:32Yeah.
00:32:33But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:32:35Talk to the bartender.
00:32:37Wow.
00:32:37The IP treatment.
00:32:39You look like one.
00:32:41Thanks, Jamie.
00:32:43Hey, lover boy.
00:32:45We're on.
00:32:45Bye.
00:32:46Bye.
00:32:46Bye.
00:32:47Gotta go.
00:32:49Find me in the green room after.
00:32:51Hope you like it.
00:32:52Break a leg.
00:32:53Love you, too.
00:32:54Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:32:59Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:33:16All I do is you know what I want, babe.
00:33:20All I do is you know what I want, babe.
00:33:25Good.
00:33:26Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:33:27Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:33:30One more, please.
00:33:36But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:33:38Jake, you guys are great.
00:33:46Jake, you guys are great.
00:33:49You really think so?
00:33:51I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:33:53The who?
00:33:54You don't know the strokes.
00:33:59Are they older?
00:34:01I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:34:04It's all right.
00:34:06Lots of stuff to introduce you to.
00:34:08You want some of them to drink?
00:34:09Yeah.
00:34:17So, when did you learn how to play guitar?
00:34:21Since I was 13.
00:34:23Played in bands all through high school and college, but I feel like this one's finally
00:34:26going someplace.
00:34:28That's awesome.
00:34:29And when I get my record deal, I can finally quit my job, focus on music full time.
00:34:35You're going to quit dog walking?
00:34:37I thought you liked it.
00:34:38I do, but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music.
00:34:42I don't even like dogs that much.
00:34:45I'm more of a cat person.
00:34:47A cat person?
00:34:50Who doesn't like dogs?
00:34:52Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci.
00:34:55I don't want to talk about work tonight.
00:34:57I just want to relax.
00:34:59Have a good time.
00:35:01You're beautiful, you know that?
00:35:06I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake.
00:35:08No, I'm not sure.
00:35:09We have nothing in common.
00:35:11Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:35:17What the heck?
00:35:17I'm tipsy, and he's cute.
00:35:20Michelangelo had his fun.
00:35:21Now I can have mine.
00:35:22Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:35:39What's going on?
00:35:40That's Michelangelo Dina Levino, the Nepo baby underwear model.
00:35:45He's not.
00:35:46You coming with me, dog walker?
00:35:48Don't make me get the leash.
00:35:49What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:35:51Back off, dude.
00:35:53Back off.
00:35:54Grubby little hipster.
00:35:55She's my fiancée.
00:35:57So that was an engagement ring?
00:35:59Jake, I can explain.
00:36:01Let's go.
00:36:04I'm really sorry, Jake.
00:36:05I'm not, Jake.
00:36:06This is for making me uber all the way to fucking Silver Lake.
00:36:17And this is for making me listen to Andy.
00:36:19I can't believe you did that.
00:36:26After your high and mighty speech, you're such a hypocrite.
00:36:29Yeah, well, I don't have the paparazzi following me around.
00:36:31Just an Italian-American psycho.
00:36:34I'm not following you around.
00:36:36You know what?
00:36:37I get it.
00:36:38You saw me with Chantel last night, and now you're jealous.
00:36:41Oh, me jealous?
00:36:43Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:36:46Like, I would ever fuck a dog walker.
00:36:48I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick.
00:36:51I have a name.
00:36:53Wait, what are you doing?
00:36:54That is an original.
00:36:55I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:36:58Oh, fine.
00:36:59I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:37:02I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:37:05They're treating me like shit.
00:37:08That's from the Renaissance.
00:37:09You are history's worst nightmare.
00:37:11I tried to make this work with you.
00:37:12We signed a contract.
00:37:14For an arranged marriage.
00:37:15Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:37:19You are such a simpleton.
00:37:23Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:37:25Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:37:27I tried to get along with you.
00:37:28You brought this onto yourself.
00:37:30I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:37:32Right back at you.
00:37:34I fucking hate you.
00:37:35I fucking hate you more.
00:37:39Wait, wait, wait.
00:37:52I died.
00:37:56I wish I didn't care what I should.
00:37:58I didn't care about what it is.
00:38:28Where am I? Who's spooning me? Is that Jake? How drunk was I?
00:38:53Michelangelo?
00:38:54Dog Walker.
00:38:56Oh, I forgot we did that last night. Must have been all those free beers.
00:39:03We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:39:07No, we had too many drinks. We just forget it ever happened. If that's what you want.
00:39:13Definitely. Um, I have to go to work.
00:39:19I should get up too.
00:39:22Oh, my head.
00:39:24There's Pedialy in the fridge.
00:39:27Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:39:29Of course. My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:39:35Well, you look great. Thanks.
00:39:38I don't feel great. The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:39:44You, on the other hand, are glowing today. What's going on?
00:39:50So... Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:39:55Wait. For the first time?
00:39:59Yeah. We're taking it slow.
00:40:02Michelangelo. The male gigolo is taking it slow.
00:40:07Maybe I did miss Dredgen.
00:40:12And... How was it?
00:40:15Well...
00:40:17Really bad. Right? I knew it.
00:40:19Actually...
00:40:21It was the best sex I ever had?
00:40:24Well, that explains the glow.
00:40:27I am happy for you, sis.
00:40:31Physical chemistry is important.
00:40:33That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:40:36I don't get it.
00:40:37He and I are nothing alike, and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:40:41I feel like an arcade game, and it just keeps getting the high score again and again, and...
00:40:47You get the picture.
00:40:50Hey. Opposites attract.
00:40:54I mean, that's why you guys love each other so much.
00:40:58Because you're so different.
00:41:00Something like that.
00:41:02Here it comes. Right on the schedule.
00:41:12The dog walker's in love with me.
00:41:15I'll have to let her down easy.
00:41:17Weird.
00:41:18I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:41:20What was that about? Must be the hangover.
00:41:41Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight. Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:41:50Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker? And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:42:20Hey.
00:42:34Hi.
00:42:36We should talk about last night.
00:42:41I'm not very good with words.
00:42:43Me neither.
00:42:44But, last night I...
00:42:45You don't have to say anything.
00:42:47We both know it was a mistake, and we can just go back to hating each other like nothing ever happened.
00:42:54I don't think you understand it. You just listen to me for a second.
00:42:56Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings. I'm a big girl. I've had a one-night stand before.
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before.
00:43:05Okay, I get it. I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:43:11You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:43:15I know that if you would take back last night, that you would. And frankly, so would I.
00:43:19I mean, you're driving me nuts. You don't understand. Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:43:25I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:43:29Wait, did you just call me Amelia?
00:43:34What happened to Dog Walker?
00:43:38I have a confession to make.
00:43:39Last night, I don't know how, I don't know why, that was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:43:52Really?
00:43:52Do I look like I'm lying? I'm not a good actor. I couldn't even do reality TV.
00:43:58But there is a fire between us, Amelia. Some kind of crazy, cosmic chemistry.
00:44:08You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:44:11Amelia.
00:44:13Please.
00:44:15I know you felt it too.
00:44:22Amelia, please.
00:44:24Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:44:25I felt it too.
00:44:33So why are we fighting it?
00:44:35I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:38Me too.
00:44:38Me too.
00:44:55So, I set the kitchen on fire?
00:45:15How am I supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball shots on fire?
00:45:20It's not my fault.
00:45:21They should change the name.
00:45:24No wonder they cancelled Vanderpump's super yacht.
00:45:28If you think that's funny, just wait until the next episode.
00:45:30The captain gets super drunk off espresso martinis and he almost sinks the boat.
00:45:34You know, when you're not acting like a complete douchebag, you're not so bad.
00:45:45Thanks?
00:45:47You know, we could actually try this.
00:45:51Hey, if the sex stays this good, I'm open for anything.
00:45:54I'm serious.
00:45:56The wedding's coming up.
00:45:59We could give it a shot.
00:46:01You mean like you and me.
00:46:03Together, together.
00:46:04Why not?
00:46:06Were you planning on marrying someone else?
00:46:07Oh, Gucci, what's the rush?
00:46:28Oh, hey, Royce.
00:46:31Jake?
00:46:32How's it going?
00:46:34Good.
00:46:35Yeah.
00:46:36Look, the other night was kind of...
00:46:38Crazy.
00:46:39I know.
00:46:41I should have told you about Michelangelo.
00:46:43We were kind of in a fight.
00:46:46I'm sorry for bringing you into this.
00:46:48Is he always like that?
00:46:50So aggressive and controlling?
00:46:52I couldn't believe the way he just dragged you off like that.
00:46:55He was like a caveman lugging home his woman.
00:46:58Well, I am his woman.
00:47:00He saw us together and he got jealous.
00:47:03And I don't blame him.
00:47:04Oh, my God.
00:47:06Am I actually sticking up for Michelangelo Dinovolino?
00:47:10I didn't mean a pride.
00:47:12Just wanted to make sure everything's okay.
00:47:15I'm here if you need to talk.
00:47:17Thanks, Jake.
00:47:18But I'm engaged.
00:47:20Remember?
00:47:22And the only person I want to talk to is my fiancé.
00:47:24I thought we had a connection.
00:47:27You're a cat person.
00:47:29It never would have worked.
00:47:31Come on, Gucci.
00:47:32Let's go.
00:47:36Cats are awesome.
00:47:37That was a great presentation.
00:47:44The marketing director loved her ideas for the new line.
00:47:47You think so?
00:47:48Ooh.
00:47:49Maybe I'm finally starting to get a hang of this CEO thing.
00:47:52Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:47:53Now, listen.
00:47:54I got to fly to Paris for a few days.
00:47:56You mind watching your little brother for me?
00:47:59Gucci?
00:47:59Sure.
00:48:00But, I mean, you know, dogs are more Amelia's specialty.
00:48:03Yeah, but that's how you impress her.
00:48:05You invite her for a romantic date at the dog park.
00:48:09At the dog park?
00:48:10Mm-hmm.
00:48:11I just texted her.
00:48:12It's all set.
00:48:13Now, go get her lover boy.
00:48:16So, you just throw it and he brings it back?
00:48:30You've never played fetch before?
00:48:33It's my dad's dog, not mine.
00:48:37Let me try.
00:48:39That's okay.
00:48:40I know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with your dainty hands.
00:48:43Yes.
00:48:46Do you ever get tired of the dog stuff?
00:48:50No.
00:48:51I like my work.
00:48:53What's the point in working if you never get a chance to have fun?
00:48:58You're right.
00:48:58I should work less.
00:49:01If nothing else, you're letting me get closer to my little brother.
00:49:08Fetch Gucci.
00:49:14I've got a big surprise.
00:49:15A surprise.
00:49:18Just wait and see.
00:49:27Grazie, Enzo.
00:49:28Have a good night, Mr. Dino Gallino.
00:49:35What's that?
00:49:37Special delivery from Mastery Owens Italian Deli.
00:49:40But Gucci, it's your favorite prosciutto.
00:49:47You know, that's awful for dogs, right?
00:49:50I thought you were off the clock today.
00:49:54Besides, a special occasion.
00:49:57I also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little Chianti into it.
00:50:01It's for us.
00:50:05Why don't you get us a corkscrew?
00:50:07What else is in the bag?
00:50:08Just some imported Italian ingredients so I can make you a real Italian dinner.
00:50:13You can cook?
00:50:14You can cook?
00:50:28That was so good.
00:50:30I feel like I just went to Italy even though I've never been.
00:50:34How did you do this?
00:50:36I can't cook at all.
00:50:38Making Italian food is one of my favorite things to do.
00:50:40Did you learn in culinary school?
00:50:42No.
00:50:43My mom taught me.
00:50:45Tell me about her.
00:50:46I never told a girl about my mom.
00:50:50Sorry.
00:50:51I don't mean to pray.
00:50:53She passed away when I was 11.
00:50:56Breast cancer.
00:50:57But I have a lot of good memories of her.
00:51:01She grew up in a little village in Tuscany and she taught me everything I know about cooking.
00:51:07We'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing.
00:51:13I still have all of her recipes here.
00:51:17Handwritten in Italian.
00:51:19That's really special.
00:51:20I miss her.
00:51:25This might sound corny, but I feel a little closer to her when I make her recipes.
00:51:31It's not corny.
00:51:33But I didn't know you were such a softie.
00:51:35Just don't tell TMZ.
00:51:39What about your parents?
00:51:41My parents died in a car accident when I was 13.
00:51:44It's been me and Betsy ever since.
00:51:47I'm sorry.
00:51:49I just really hope these treatments work.
00:51:53I don't want to lose her too.
00:51:57I'm sorry.
00:51:58Your story made me emotional.
00:52:00I'm gonna go do the dishes.
00:52:02I'll help you.
00:52:02No.
00:52:03No, it's fine.
00:52:04I like doing the dishes.
00:52:05It relaxes me.
00:52:07Good.
00:52:08Because I hate them.
00:52:09Well, then I guess we make a good team.
00:52:14Is it just the wine?
00:52:17Or am I really falling for...
00:52:20Him?
00:52:20Her.
00:52:23You don't want espresso.
00:52:33Hey.
00:52:35Hey.
00:52:36Do you want an espresso?
00:52:38I just figured out how to make the machine work.
00:52:40No, thank you.
00:52:41You need to have a morning meeting.
00:52:42I'm kind of in a rush.
00:52:43Okay, well, don't forget Gucci.
00:52:45How could I?
00:52:48Ready, bro?
00:52:50Well, let me fix your tie.
00:52:53What do you know about ties?
00:52:55You wear t-shirts to work.
00:52:57And you wore man thongs two weeks ago.
00:53:00Touché.
00:53:01There you go.
00:53:03Okay, bye.
00:53:04Bye.
00:53:07Love you.
00:53:08Love you, too.
00:53:09Love you, too.
00:53:13Sorry.
00:53:14I didn't mean to say that.
00:53:22Me neither.
00:53:23Too soon.
00:53:25Talk about it later?
00:53:27Yeah.
00:53:28Okay.
00:53:29Okay.
00:53:30Could that have been any more awkward?
00:53:33And is Michelangelo really in love with me?
00:53:36Look who's here.
00:53:42Hey, my little guy.
00:53:45Hey, little Gucci.
00:53:47Look at this right here.
00:53:49Huh?
00:53:50Let's try it.
00:53:52Oh, yeah.
00:53:53Now, here's mine.
00:53:55Right?
00:53:56Just like that.
00:53:57Huh?
00:53:58Yeah.
00:53:58Even got one for big brother.
00:54:00Right there.
00:54:02Come to papa.
00:54:03Yes, my boy.
00:54:06All right.
00:54:07All right.
00:54:07So, we got to talk about this wedding, right?
00:54:10This is two weeks off.
00:54:12Hollywood Bowl.
00:54:13They're waiting for an answer.
00:54:14And I bumped into Chris Martin on the plane.
00:54:17He says the band is free.
00:54:20You like Coldplay, right?
00:54:21Dad, we can't have the wedding at the Hollywood Bowl.
00:54:25Cool.
00:54:26Well, all right.
00:54:27Then we'll book the Magic Castle.
00:54:29How about that?
00:54:30Not too big.
00:54:31Plenty of room for Coldplay, huh?
00:54:33Let's just pump the brakes.
00:54:35We cannot plan a wedding like this.
00:54:37What?
00:54:38Something wrong with Amelia?
00:54:39No.
00:54:41Everything is great.
00:54:43It's better than great, honestly.
00:54:45But we cannot have a big, flashy wedding.
00:54:49That's our thing.
00:54:51It's not Amelia's thing.
00:54:53I think it'd make her uncomfortable.
00:54:55Wow.
00:54:56I never thought of that.
00:54:59You know, you have a very good point there.
00:55:02I'm very impressed.
00:55:04You've never acted like this with any other woman.
00:55:08I can't say I've ever felt like this with another girl.
00:55:12Sounds like you might be falling in love.
00:55:15Love?
00:55:15Yeah, I don't know.
00:55:21He's so cute.
00:55:22All right, all right.
00:55:24Change of deal.
00:55:25Gonna cancel the Hollywood Bowl, all right?
00:55:27And then we'll have a nice, small, intimate affair, a wedding with Coldplay.
00:55:33No Coldplay, Dad.
00:55:35No Coldplay.
00:55:36So, it's about my cancer treatment.
00:55:47It's not working.
00:55:49I know it.
00:55:50I talked to my doctors yesterday.
00:55:53And I'm cured.
00:55:55What?
00:55:56You're cured?
00:55:58Oh, congratulations.
00:56:02I wasn't expecting it.
00:56:04I didn't think I would be cured in only two sessions.
00:56:07It only took two sessions?
00:56:10I almost had enough in my savings to cover that.
00:56:13Maybe I didn't need the Dina Valino's money.
00:56:16What's wrong, sis?
00:56:18We should be celebrating!
00:56:20I brought Prosecco.
00:56:21No, yeah.
00:56:23No, I'm good.
00:56:24Yeah.
00:56:25Amelia, I'm your sister.
00:56:28You can tell me anything.
00:56:31Is it Michelangelo?
00:56:33Is everything okay?
00:56:35If that punk pretty boy hurts you,
00:56:37I will take that man thong
00:56:39and give him a wedgie so far up his butt
00:56:41that it will cut him in two.
00:56:43It's not Michelangelo, Betsy.
00:56:47It's me.
00:56:50I have to tell you something.
00:56:55I cannot believe that they convinced you to do
00:56:58an arranged marriage.
00:57:01What is this, Game of Thrones?
00:57:03It was the only way that I could pay for your treatments.
00:57:06And you know that I would do anything for you.
00:57:09Actually, he's not that bad.
00:57:13I kind of like him.
00:57:16Yeah, babe, that's called Stockholm Syndrome.
00:57:19We need to get you out of there.
00:57:20Betsy, I have real feelings for him.
00:57:26But what about the tabloid stories?
00:57:30You heard what he did to that floozy in Disney World.
00:57:33They banned him for life.
00:57:35You'll never go to Epcot.
00:57:37He's not actually like the stories.
00:57:40Or at least not to me.
00:57:43He's only acting like that to get into your pants, Amelia.
00:57:46If you marry Michelangelo, he will make your life a living hell.
00:57:54What if you meet him?
00:57:56Yeah.
00:57:57Meet him.
00:57:58Maybe he'll change your mind.
00:57:59Maybe you'll actually like him.
00:58:01Don't count on it.
00:58:03Please, me.
00:58:04Just give him a chance.
00:58:07Fine.
00:58:08Yes.
00:58:09Only one.
00:58:10Yes.
00:58:13You won't regret it.
00:58:14I'm going to go get the Prosecco.
00:58:18You better bring the whole bottle.
00:58:23Thank you for making dinner.
00:58:26Of course.
00:58:27I'm glad she's cancer-free.
00:58:28We need to celebrate.
00:58:32Michelangelo, you know that Betsy is the most important person in the world to me, right?
00:58:38You mean besides me?
00:58:39I'm serious.
00:58:40It's really important to me that you two get along.
00:58:42Have a glass of wine.
00:58:46Tonight's going to be great.
00:58:56It's enormous.
00:58:58Why would anybody need so much room?
00:59:05It's nice to see you too, sis.
00:59:09Nice to finally meet you, Betsy.
00:59:13So, this is the infamous, uh, Michelangelo.
00:59:19Uh, how about we start off with a glass of champagne?
00:59:25$96 Dom Perignon?
00:59:26Amelia said that's the year that you were born.
00:59:29Yeah, I-
00:59:30Sorry, I can't drink that fancy stuff.
00:59:32It's worth more than my car.
00:59:34Why would anybody spend that much on a drink?
00:59:38$8.99 at Ralph's.
00:59:40It's delicious.
00:59:42This was made in France.
00:59:44Sorry.
00:59:45Can't touch that stuff.
00:59:46So, who wants a drink?
00:59:49You hardly touch your food.
01:00:13It's a little too rich for me.
01:00:16Mine tastes great.
01:00:21So, Michelangelo, I have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up.
01:00:28You don't mind, do you?
01:00:30Fire away.
01:00:32So, I know you two have been having your...
01:00:36fun.
01:00:37Um, but...
01:00:38What's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off?
01:00:44I don't think it's going to.
01:00:47That's cute and all, but...
01:00:50What about her career?
01:00:50Are you gonna support her?
01:00:52Or kids?
01:00:53What's your stance on that?
01:00:54Or are you just gonna...
01:00:56jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious?
01:00:58Let's see.
01:00:59Look, I know I have a past, but I'm committed to it.
01:01:06We haven't talked about kids, but I'm open to anything.
01:01:09See, Michelangelo, that's my point.
01:01:11You two are getting married, and you barely know each other.
01:01:15We know enough.
01:01:16Easy, Betsy.
01:01:17I just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon.
01:01:22And if you really cared about Amelia, you would give her the time.
01:01:26And what makes you such an expert?
01:01:28I don't see a ring on your finger.
01:01:31Michelangelo.
01:01:31You probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now.
01:01:34It's no wonder Amelia was so uptight when I met her.
01:01:36She gets it from you.
01:01:38Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
01:01:40You started it.
01:01:46I don't know.
01:01:48Why don't we all just calm down?
01:01:51Betsy's just looking out for my best interests.
01:01:53No, she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her.
01:01:57That's not fair, Michelangelo.
01:01:58She's not been fair to me since she walked through the door.
01:02:00You're the horniest bastard in Beverly Hills.
01:02:02And you're a frigid, lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy.
01:02:06You know what?
01:02:07You can't talk to Betsy like that.
01:02:08That's my sister.
01:02:09She just survived cancer.
01:02:13That doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house.
01:02:16This is my house, too.
01:02:18And she can say whatever she wants.
01:02:19Not to me.
01:02:20You know, maybe she should be concerned.
01:02:22I don't like this side of you.
01:02:23See, I told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other.
01:02:26But I guess the contract doesn't allow for that.
01:02:29You told her?
01:02:30She's my sister.
01:02:31I don't care.
01:02:32That violates our agreement.
01:02:33Oh, is that all I am to you?
01:02:35A contractual agreement?
01:02:36Some kind of obligation?
01:02:38It's not what I meant.
01:02:39It came out wrong, Amelia.
01:02:41I love you.
01:02:43You love me?
01:02:45Don't listen to him.
01:02:46He doesn't even know what that means.
01:02:47Shut the fuck up!
01:02:49You know what?
01:02:50Maybe she was right.
01:02:51I shouldn't have signed that contract.
01:02:53It's over.
01:02:59We need to get out of here.
01:03:02I've seen too many true crime documentaries on Netflix to know what happens when you tell
01:03:06rich people secrets.
01:03:11Amelia, I know this is hard to hear, but you did the right thing.
01:03:18You do so much better than him.
01:03:19Yeah, but he isn't a monster.
01:03:24I shouldn't have said that.
01:03:25We can talk about it on the road.
01:03:27Get packing, and if we leave now, we can get to Mexico by dawn.
01:03:31Lay low for a bit.
01:03:33Mexico?
01:03:34Or Canada.
01:03:35Whatever.
01:03:36It's that, or stay here and get sued by the Dino Lavinos.
01:03:40Or worse.
01:03:41I don't think Romulus and Michelangelo would sue us.
01:03:44I mean, I only told you about the contract.
01:03:47It's not like I told the media.
01:03:49You don't know that.
01:03:51We're liabilities.
01:03:53Loose ends.
01:03:55You should listen to more True Kind podcast.
01:04:00Get rid of that thing.
01:04:03They could be tracking us right now.
01:04:04Yeah, you know, Michelangelo did manage to follow me to the Echoplex the other day.
01:04:10See?
01:04:12He could have a sniper on us.
01:04:17It's Romulus.
01:04:19Hey, Romulus.
01:04:21What?
01:04:22What do you mean Gucci's missing?
01:04:24You came.
01:04:39Against my better judgment.
01:04:41I'm not happy you've been blowing me off.
01:04:44I've just been busy, but it's over with now.
01:04:48Well, you should punish me for straying.
01:04:54You make me sick.
01:04:56I make me sick.
01:05:05Nice underwear.
01:05:10It's a great craftsmanship.
01:05:11Okay, let's get this over with.
01:05:21Is that all you have to say?
01:05:24Do you even realize how hot I am?
01:05:26I'm sorry, Chantel.
01:05:29I thought I wanted this.
01:05:34But I don't.
01:05:34I'm not the stud that I used to be.
01:05:41Amelia broke up with me.
01:05:47It feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes.
01:05:52Never in a million years did I think I'd fall for a dog walk with my hair.
01:05:55I am fucking devastated.
01:05:58And all her wishes I could take back how I acted.
01:06:01I just wanted to come back to me.
01:06:04I don't want to take back how I felt.
01:06:06I don't want to take back how I felt.
01:06:09I don't want to take back how I felt.
01:06:13Amelia?
01:06:16Hi, Dad.
01:06:18Gucci's gone?
01:06:20I'll be right there.
01:06:21What?
01:06:29Romulus.
01:06:30What?
01:06:30Oh.
01:06:31Oh, well, I only had him off the leash for a second, you know.
01:06:37We're practically in the house, and then all of a sudden, he just shot off like a rocket.
01:06:41I've been calling him all night, but he won't come back!
01:06:45Well, we can help you find him.
01:06:48Yeah?
01:06:49Right?
01:06:51Good, thanks.
01:06:53Gucci!
01:06:54This better not be a trap.
01:06:56Just come on.
01:06:59Gucci!
01:07:00Gucci!
01:07:01Gucci!
01:07:02Hey, hey, hey, where's Michelangelo?
01:07:04Huh?
01:07:04I thought you were both together.
01:07:05Why isn't he here with you?
01:07:07Oh, um, he's...
01:07:09Sorry, I'm late, Dad.
01:07:11Where were you?
01:07:12I had to stop for late-night delivery at Mastrionis.
01:07:15It's Gucci's favorite prosciutto.
01:07:17If this doesn't ring out of hiding, nothing will.
01:07:20Smart move, kid.
01:07:22Here, ladies, take a piece of this prosciutto here.
01:07:24That's it, Dad.
01:07:25Give me the urs.
01:07:30Give me the urs.
01:07:40Gucci!
01:07:41It's hopeless.
01:07:44We've been looking for him all night long.
01:07:53We're never gonna find him.
01:07:55Don't give up, Dad.
01:07:56He's just off having a little adventure.
01:07:58Keep looking.
01:07:58He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:08:01See?
01:08:02They're not gonna kill us.
01:08:04I do have to admit, though,
01:08:06I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:08:07He's really there for his dad.
01:08:11His dad's dog.
01:08:13So you approve now?
01:08:15They didn't say that.
01:08:19Gucci!
01:08:23Gucci!
01:08:23My boy's back!
01:08:25Okay, okay.
01:08:35I'm a little closer to approving.
01:08:43I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:08:51A little.
01:08:52It's okay.
01:08:54Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:08:57They just leave out part of the story.
01:09:00Amelia,
01:09:01can we talk?
01:09:06Please?
01:09:09Amelia,
01:09:10can we talk?
01:09:14Please?
01:09:15Okay.
01:09:16Okay.
01:09:22I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:09:29I shouldn't have attacked your sister,
01:09:32and I shouldn't have blown up at you
01:09:33for mentioning the contract.
01:09:38I hope that you know you
01:09:39mean so much more to me
01:09:41than just a business agreement.
01:09:44Thanks for saying that.
01:09:46I needed to hear that.
01:09:48And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:09:53You're not one.
01:09:55I'm still learning new things about you.
01:09:58Most of them are good.
01:10:01I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:10:04I'm not.
01:10:08You're not?
01:10:09What do you mean?
01:10:12Amelia, this might sound crazy,
01:10:14but I meant it
01:10:17when I said that I love you.
01:10:19And I don't want
01:10:20some silly piece of paper
01:10:22to pee the reason
01:10:22that we stay together.
01:10:25I want to know
01:10:26that our love is real.
01:10:30Dad.
01:10:31What is it, son?
01:10:32I want to cancel the contract
01:10:34between me and Amelia.
01:10:36Why, son?
01:10:38Because I want to ask her
01:10:39to marry me.
01:10:40And not because of some
01:10:43legal obligation,
01:10:45but because she wants to.
01:10:53Consider our contracts
01:10:55null and void.
01:11:03Amelia,
01:11:03what will it be?
01:11:08Will you marry me?
01:11:10Will you marry me?
01:11:15Yes.
01:11:16I'll marry you.
01:11:32You've made me the happiest
01:11:34underwear model in the world.
01:11:36And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:11:38Look at me.
01:11:40I'm dripping like
01:11:41a Roman aqueduct.
01:11:44All right, all right,
01:11:45you two.
01:11:46That's enough, all right?
01:11:48We spent this whole night together.
01:11:50Come over to my place, all right?
01:11:52We'll have a nice breakfast
01:11:53Italian style, huh?
01:11:55Hopefully it's not
01:11:56too rich for you.
01:11:58I think I can get used to it.
01:12:00And then we can all
01:12:01discuss the wedding, all right?
01:12:02I want to hear from
01:12:04everybody involved,
01:12:05especially Coldplay.
01:12:07We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:12:10It was worth a try.
01:12:11And now the bride and groom
01:12:37would like to give their vows.
01:12:38Michelangelo?
01:12:42Amelia,
01:12:44even though we're far from
01:12:47a perfect couple,
01:12:48we're perfect together.
01:12:51I've learned so much from you
01:12:53in such a short amount of time,
01:12:55and not just about dogs.
01:12:57I don't know how I ever managed
01:13:01anything without you.
01:13:04I'm looking forward to your
01:13:08support and counsel
01:13:10as I take over the family business
01:13:12from my father this year.
01:13:13And in return,
01:13:15I promise
01:13:16to be patient
01:13:20and a loving husband
01:13:21as you turn our backyard
01:13:23into the doggy daycare
01:13:24you've always dreamed of.
01:13:25Amelia,
01:13:31you are the only thing better
01:13:33than free underwear.
01:13:36I love you so much.
01:13:37I never thought
01:13:45I would end up
01:13:46with a former
01:13:46man thong model,
01:13:48but here we are.
01:13:51Michelangelo,
01:13:51you've helped me
01:13:52come out of my shell
01:13:53and you've taught me
01:13:54how to live life
01:13:54to the fullest,
01:13:55something I hope to do more of
01:13:57on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:13:58And although we haven't spent
01:14:05much time together,
01:14:06it feels like a lifetime
01:14:07in a good way.
01:14:09I know your mom
01:14:10would be proud of you.
01:14:12Te amo, Michelangelo.
01:14:13I love you.
01:14:15With the power vested in me
01:14:16by Almighty God
01:14:17and the city of Beverly Hills,
01:14:19I now pronounce you
01:14:20husband and wife.
01:14:22You may kiss your bride.
01:14:23Thanks.
01:14:34I'm Betsy,
01:14:35Amelia's sister.
01:14:37I'm Jake,
01:14:37another dog walker.
01:14:40It's crazy,
01:14:41you know,
01:14:42given my sister,
01:14:43but I've always been
01:14:44more of a cat person.
01:14:46Me too!
01:14:46Strong faith,
01:14:50class family,
01:14:54choosing the
01:14:56who needs to trade.
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