- 3 months ago
"Sometimes I wonder if I'm too independent. It can get you in trouble." Singer-songwriter Olivia Dean gets real and personal as she creates a sculpture of herself. From the first performance she saw that made her want to sing to the moments she wishes she could experience again, hear Olivia break down all the things that make her who she is today. Which music genre inspires her the most? How does she feel about being in the public eye? What's her ideal day off? What does she like to do in her free time?Olivia Dean's album, The Art of Loving, is now available: https://islandrecs.lnk.to/OliviaDeanTheArtOfLoving
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00:00What's the film where, like, he sat behind her and they're doing that?
00:03Ghost.
00:03Ghost.
00:04I've always sort of wanted that moment for myself, but it's never happened.
00:07So maybe this is my ghost moment?
00:10Hello, I'm Olivia, and today we're sculpting my self-portrait.
00:21First of all, we need the apron.
00:23Because we're serious about this.
00:26Professional.
00:27I've never sculpted anything in my life.
00:28I have already an idea of what I want to do.
00:31Can I just get into it?
00:32Let's get into it.
00:32Okay.
00:34I'm just going to say as a disclaimer, I'm going to go quite abstract with this.
00:38Like, you may not see the resemblance, but look a little closer.
00:43And maybe you might.
00:45What will I do with all of these?
00:51Wow.
00:52That's a great question.
00:53I think I have a nice nose.
00:55I like my nose.
00:56I think it's sweet, and I really like my freckles, too.
01:00And they come out when the sun shines.
01:02This is kind of terrifying.
01:05This has kind of got a Halloween feel right now, but let's just go with it.
01:08So immediately when I sat down and I was like, wow, this is my first chance to sculpt, and
01:13also to sculpt myself, I was like, I'm going to do something fun here.
01:16I'm planning to do, like, my piece, my idea is, every sort of sense on my face is going to be, like, reflective of, like, how I feel about that sense.
01:25Or, like, how I want to feel about that sense.
01:27Positive vision.
01:28The vision is there, but I just haven't quite realized it yet.
01:35Don't worry.
01:35It's going to be fine.
01:36I was in school, and I was in my music class, and my teacher, Mr. Doherty, he played us a video of a live version of Paul Simon performing a song from Graceland, Diamonds on the Soles of Their Shoes, with Lady Smith, Black Mambaza.
01:55And I just remember being completely stunned by the amount of joy everybody was having on stage, and it was, like, just this beautiful cross-culture of people coming together for the love of music.
02:09And I just remember thinking that, A, I wanted to experience that joy on stage, but also I wanted to create that joy, you know, and, like, create performances where people can come and have fun, you know?
02:21Ooh, this is going to be good.
02:25I definitely felt that second album pressure, where it's, like, you've done something once, and you're, like, can I do that again?
02:35Am I a fraud?
02:36Whoa, imposter syndrome.
02:38I don't know if I can.
02:40Who am I now?
02:41I definitely felt that pressure, but then I was just, like, you know what, Olivia?
02:45Why don't you focus less on the product and focus more on how the process could be fun for you?
02:52And then, it doesn't really matter what you make, and also, nobody can take that away from you.
02:59Like, you can say that you don't like my album, and you can say that it doesn't speak to you, but you can't say that I didn't have fun making it, and you can't say it's not honest and true to me.
03:09So, whatever.
03:11Sorry.
03:12You can't take that away from me.
03:13I'm really driven by my passion for music.
03:17I just do it every day.
03:18Like, I love my job.
03:20It doesn't feel like a job, and it is a job in many ways.
03:23Like, not all of it is, like, fabulous.
03:26But I just love what I do.
03:28I love the people that I work with.
03:29I love my team.
03:30I love my band.
03:32I love the music I get to make.
03:34And so, it's not difficult to be productive.
03:37Maybe I'll slow down at some point, but that doesn't feel like the time right now.
03:40I feel like I'm an athlete in her prime.
03:42I feel like I'm an athlete in her prime.
03:47Neo-soul is a genre that I associate to such comfort and, like, companionship to my life.
03:56I think it's been so important to my mom and my auntie and, like, the black women in my life.
04:03And those artists and those albums, like Angie and D'Angelo and Lauryn Hill and Jill Scott, like,
04:10they're the kind of albums you return to when you've gone through some shit.
04:13And you're like, like, my mom and my auntie always tell me this story about when my auntie
04:18was breaking up with one of her boyfriends, and they went and they drove all around London
04:21to Pissed Off.
04:22And they were like, just run it back in the car.
04:24Run it again, you know?
04:25And I would watch them and I would watch their connection to that music.
04:29And I think that perhaps with this album, in a way, I was trying to create something like
04:35that or not even reference it musically so much, but, like, the feeling of those albums
04:40that are, like, an emotional toolkit or, like, something that you could return to if you were
04:46going through a breakup or if you were falling in love or if somebody just did you dirty,
04:50you know?
04:51We lost a great one with D'Angelo, like, such a pioneer.
04:55And, you know, we're always referencing his live stuff when we are putting the show together.
05:00And, yeah, I think he's inspired, like, all of your favorite musicians, basically.
05:05All the things that you love, probably, or all the things that you think the best thing
05:08you've ever heard is probably because they were listening to D'Angelo, you know?
05:11D'Angelo, I think it's a mixture of things, truthfully.
05:40I think most of the time it's really lovely and it's flattering and it's fulfilling and
05:46it makes it feel all worthwhile.
05:48I think sometimes it can be strange, you know?
05:51I think that's okay to say.
05:54Like, I'm someone who, like, loves my anonymity.
05:56Like, I love going to the cinema by myself or, like, I love going down to the market when
06:00I'm in London or just walking around.
06:03And I think some of that, I guess, has been sacrificed a little bit.
06:07And sometimes, yeah, you're kind of being observed all the time.
06:12But I think that is a small price to pay because I get to do, like, the most amazing job in the world, you know?
06:20And everyone's really lovely, you know?
06:22I'm not being egged, so I can't complain.
06:26Oh, this is cute.
06:27I think it needs other colours.
06:29I'm going to add green next somewhere.
06:31Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know.
06:33I'm sort of very stereotypically British in that way where I hate receiving compliments.
06:39Like, my mind goes to when, like, someone pays me a compliment.
06:42It's like, you're just saying that because you just want me to feel nice.
06:44Like, you don't mean that, you know?
06:45Like, quite often after a show, like, someone will be like, that was great.
06:48I'm like, you're lying.
06:49That was average.
06:50I can be way better.
06:51You know, which I think is quite toxic.
06:55And, yeah, I'm quite bad at receiving compliments.
06:58I find it quite awkward, but I'm trying to learn to just take it.
07:04I'm so like, oh, my God, don't look at me, but also look at me.
07:06I'm singing.
07:07But, guys, stop looking at me.
07:08What?
07:09No.
07:10You know?
07:11It's confusing.
07:12That's, like, my mind all the time.
07:17The one that I kind of really had to sit with for a minute before I could even respond
07:21was Questlove.
07:22Yeah, he just hit me up and he said that he thought it was superb and that I should come
07:27on the Jimmy Fallon show.
07:28And I said, I've already been there.
07:31I was already there.
07:32Yeah.
07:33But that, for me, is, like, the highest praise.
07:37Somebody that I regard as, like, a tastemaker and just genius in sonics and, like, feel in
07:44that way to validate me was unbelievable.
07:48Yeah.
07:48So I'm at this point where I'm like, you could say my album was shit, but Questlove said
07:52it was superb.
07:53So what about that?
08:00At the moment, I'm really trying to keep, like, my weekends, if I have them off, very
08:03skeletal.
08:04Make no plans with nobody.
08:06Don't tell anybody you have an off day, because then it's really an off day.
08:09You think I'm on, but I'm off.
08:11I wake up.
08:12Maybe I put some vinyl on.
08:14I make a lovely little coffee.
08:15I just got a milk frother.
08:17Guys.
08:20Game changer.
08:21I froth the milk.
08:22I have a lovely coffee on the balcony.
08:24I listen to some vinyl.
08:26Maybe then I drive.
08:28I love to go for a drive.
08:30Really clears the mind.
08:31I go to the gym.
08:33Maybe I do a hot yoga class.
08:35Stunning.
08:36I don't shower at the gym.
08:37I'm not into that.
08:38I shower at home.
08:39I cook a new recipe I've never made before.
08:42And then maybe I speak to a friend on the phone.
08:44And then I just get on the sofa, put my slippers on.
08:48I'm really into games at the moment.
08:49I'm playing Red Dead Redemption.
08:51Loving it.
08:51And I just, I just game until I'm tired.
08:55And then I go to sleep.
08:57It's perfect.
08:58Perfect.
08:58Perfect.
09:02How I feel about myself now compared to when I was like 18, 19 is like night and day.
09:08It's almost like two different people inside my mind.
09:11I think that I felt a lot of confusion, like around being mixed race and like feeling like
09:19one of two things, but not quite both.
09:23But now I'm just like, wow, I'm the best of both.
09:25I'm like, I'm a beautiful mix of things.
09:29And that's so lucky.
09:29And like, why would I want to change that?
09:32Like, I love my hair.
09:33I love the way that I look.
09:36And I love that I can kind of tap into, you know, both those different parts of me and
09:42different people in my life.
09:44And thank God.
09:46So tiring living the other way, you know, constantly sort of wanting to be something else or like,
09:52you know, living in comparison, the thief of joy.
09:54I feel proud of that journey for myself, you know, think about the people that you love
10:00most in your life.
10:01Maybe that's your best friend.
10:03Maybe that's your mom.
10:04Maybe that's your sibling.
10:05Maybe that's a partner.
10:07Whoever that person is that you're like, wow, I really love you.
10:10Like, I have so much love for you.
10:12Talk to yourself that same way.
10:16The exact same way.
10:17I think we're very hard on ourselves sometimes.
10:20I mean, I do it all the time.
10:21I'm like my worst critic.
10:23But it's important to just, yeah, give yourself the love that you know you're capable of giving
10:29to other people.
10:30It's easy.
10:31It's not easy to give it to yourself.
10:32That's a big fat lie.
10:33Like, it should be easy.
10:36Like, it can be easy.
10:38I think that's what I'm trying to say.
10:39I don't know.
10:41I regret this part, but I'm going to continue with it.
10:45It looks like a toupee.
10:50I love my independence.
10:52It's so sacred to me.
10:54Perhaps sometimes I wonder if I'm too independent.
10:57It can sometimes get you in trouble because when you love your own company so much and
11:01you don't be needing anybody, sometimes you're like, damn, I'm not with anybody.
11:07But I think independence just means to me just like having my own back and being comfortable
11:13in my own company and still just, you know, do my own shit.
11:17Like, I'm just, yeah, I've always kind of been okay with myself in that way.
11:24I think it's a good skill to have.
11:26Ooh, girl.
11:29Ooh.
11:31I don't have the clay and the skill to do a blowout.
11:36So I've decided to sort of channel the ocean as a kind of, like, framing of the face.
11:43And my story with the ocean is that I'm deeply terrified of the ocean.
11:47Very scared.
11:49It's really scary and we don't know what's down there.
11:51And I never really swam that much as a child.
11:54And I only really learned to swim quite recently.
11:57And now I'm getting more and more confident in the ocean.
12:00And sometimes I'll go just to the point where my toes can't touch the bottom.
12:04Not too far.
12:06Not too far.
12:07I guess I would like to, sometimes I think about shows that I'd love to play again.
12:16I wish I could do Glastonbury again when we played on the Pyramid stage.
12:19I was really conscious of, that I wanted to be present.
12:23And I remember thinking so much before I was going on stage, like, be present.
12:27Like, remember this.
12:28Like, you must remember this because you've been working so hard to get to this point.
12:32Like, remember this.
12:33You know?
12:34Like, taking so many mental photos.
12:38And yet still, I don't really remember it.
12:41It's just such a big amount of people.
12:44And when you're playing a show, you're trying to gauge if everybody's having a good time.
12:48And you're like, okay, this bit of the crowd is kind of vibing.
12:50But you guys are yawning.
12:52What's going on over here?
12:53You know, what is going on?
12:55It's like people management in your mind all the time.
12:57And I wish that I had just enjoyed it a little more.
13:02Like, of course I enjoyed it.
13:03But I think if I could do it again, I would maybe worry a little less about everybody else
13:09and just be present like I said I was going to be.
13:18Okay.
13:19Are you ready?
13:20How are you feeling?
13:21Good.
13:27Take it in.
13:33Take it in.
13:36I think it sparks joy.
13:39At the very least.
13:41But yeah, sunshine for eyes because a positive mindset.
13:44A heart for the mouth because spread loving words.
13:48A flower for the nose because I love flowers.
13:51They're cute.
13:52And a wave sort of ocean framing for the face because I used to be scared of the ocean but
13:59I'm conquering my fears now.
14:01Thank you Vanity Fair for allowing me to sculpt myself here and sending love wherever you are.
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