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Plotiva
  • 1 week ago
Matrimoney
Transcript
00:00:00Married.
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:07Your place, your mind.
00:00:09I must stay in a doghouse.
00:00:11Ahem.
00:00:12Can you guys just keep it down?
00:00:14I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience.
00:00:22Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:27Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?
00:00:29She's my sister.
00:00:30I don't care.
00:00:31That violates our agreement.
00:00:32How?
00:00:33What the fuck?
00:00:36What?
00:00:37Michelangelo?
00:00:38Donald Walker.
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite.
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:00:43I fucking hate you.
00:00:45I fucking hate you more.
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well?
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:01:00Wait.
00:01:01What are you doing?
00:01:02That is an original.
00:01:03I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:01:06Oh, fine.
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one.
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:13You're treating me like shit.
00:01:16That's from the Renaissance.
00:01:17You are history's worst nightmare.
00:01:19I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:20We signed a contract.
00:01:21For an arranged marriage.
00:01:22Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:27You are such a simpleton.
00:01:31Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:01:32Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:01:35I tried to get along with you.
00:01:36You brought this onto yourself.
00:01:37I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:01:39Right back at you.
00:01:41I fucking hate you.
00:01:43I hate you.
00:01:44I fucking hate you more.
00:01:45I hate you more.
00:02:06So, you were arrested.
00:02:09Again.
00:02:12To be fair, when we thought I was late, we'll just swim there.
00:02:16There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:18It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters.
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I wouldn't have came.
00:02:30Come on, Gucci.
00:02:31Come on.
00:02:33Good boy.
00:02:34Come on, Gucci.
00:02:35Let's go.
00:02:36Hey.
00:02:37I'm real real.
00:02:38Hey, Jay.
00:02:39Come on, Gucci.
00:02:40Let's go.
00:02:41Hey, I'm real real.
00:02:42Hey, Jay.
00:02:43Come on, Gucci.
00:02:44Let's go.
00:02:45You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:03:00It reflects on me.
00:03:01It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:03:07The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:09I make my own money.
00:03:10Oh, you see.
00:03:11See.
00:03:12Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:13I am the spokesperson for man thumb.
00:03:14That means free underwear for life.
00:03:15For life.
00:03:16Some parents would be proud.
00:03:17Yeah.
00:03:18Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:19You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:20Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:21Hmm.
00:03:22All right.
00:03:23Don't forget the meeting this afternoon, all right?
00:03:24And don't be late.
00:03:25Bye, Dad.
00:03:26Bye.
00:03:27Bye.
00:03:28Bye.
00:03:29Bye.
00:03:30Bye.
00:03:31Bye.
00:03:32Bye.
00:03:48Bye.
00:03:49Bye.
00:03:50Bye.
00:03:51Bye.
00:03:52Bye.
00:03:53Bye.
00:03:54Bye.
00:03:55Bye.
00:03:56Bye.
00:03:57Bye.
00:03:58Bye.
00:03:59Bye.
00:04:00Bye.
00:04:01Bye.
00:04:02Bye.
00:04:03Bye.
00:04:04Bye.
00:04:05Bye.
00:04:06Bye.
00:04:07Bye.
00:04:08Bye.
00:04:09Bye.
00:04:10Bye.
00:04:11Bye.
00:04:12Bye.
00:04:13Bye.
00:04:14Bye.
00:04:15Bye.
00:04:16Bye.
00:04:17Bye.
00:04:18these are great i still don't have what i'm looking for do you guys mind staying a little
00:04:40longer no problem cool let's take five and then i want to see you in that leopard print
00:04:48hi michelangelo chantal nice to meet you i couldn't notice how hot you are i've got tickets to the
00:05:00premiere hey dad where the hell were you dad i'm on a photo shoot you're supposed to be at the office
00:05:15geppetto came here all the way from milano i can meet him later now he's back on the plane again
00:05:21well you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot michelangelo you are 31 years old you got
00:05:27to stop acting like an idiot teenager you could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right
00:05:32now you interned you went to business school you you have potential okay but you say you want to be
00:05:39the ceo well you're gonna have to prove it because so far i ain't seen the end tape from you
00:05:45hey you okay yeah but i'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight
00:05:58so it's a really rare form of cancer luckily my doctors did catch it early
00:06:20oh my god there is an experimental treatment but it's really expensive and my insurance doesn't
00:06:29cover it don't worry about that i have money saved i'll find the rest we will figure this out okay
00:06:37we're gonna get through this together thank you
00:06:40ciao gucci did you have a good walk
00:06:57what's wrong
00:07:02i'm sorry this
00:07:08no no forget about it i'm sorry about your sister
00:07:11the treatments are just really expensive i have the savings for my doggy daycare my dream but
00:07:19it's only enough for one treatment and who knows how many she's gonna need
00:07:26betsy practically raised us after her parents passed i would do anything for her
00:07:33amelia i think i might know how to get you that money you do
00:07:40hmm come back tonight and uh make something nice
00:07:47come on
00:07:50oh amelia you look bellisima except for the dog hair
00:08:04come with me i have someone i want you to meet are they from italy yes yes of course everything's from italy here
00:08:15well amelia meet michelangelo my son
00:08:22i believe you both bumped into each other yesterday
00:08:24mm-hmm yeah
00:08:26aren't you the cleaning lady
00:08:27i'm a dog walker
00:08:29don't be so defensive
00:08:32i wasn't
00:08:33well i suppose i'll let you two get acquainted i have some unfinished business to do
00:08:39why don't you give yourself a glass of vino
00:08:43glass of vino
00:08:44i'm really happy
00:08:45hey
00:08:46i remember that shit huh
00:08:55do you want to do me a favor
00:09:01what exactly
00:09:02how does it look
00:09:11not half bad
00:09:12i mean
00:09:13it's fine
00:09:14whatever
00:09:15let's do some sexy ones okay
00:09:20or not
00:09:21i don't feel like being your photographer all night
00:09:23you work for my dad
00:09:24you have to do what i say
00:09:25you don't look like bromulus to me
00:09:27just a few more pictures
00:09:28i'm not here to update your tinder profile
00:09:30i don't need tinder
00:09:31i'm an underwear model
00:09:32my dms are flooded like florida in a hurricane
00:09:35whatever
00:09:36pour me another
00:09:38i told you i'm
00:09:40now
00:09:42fine
00:09:59see dog walker
00:10:00that wasn't so hard
00:10:05what the fuck
00:10:06this is fucking product
00:10:12who
00:10:13asshole
00:10:14you crazy bitch
00:10:18amelia
00:10:19whoa
00:10:20what's wrong
00:10:21i asked her to pour me another drink
00:10:23and she flipped out
00:10:24i'm sorry romulus
00:10:26but your son is a prick
00:10:27i'm gonna be leaving
00:10:28no no no please
00:10:29i apologize
00:10:30my son he's he's immature
00:10:32alright
00:10:33and that's why i invited you to
00:10:35port forward
00:10:36please
00:10:37alright
00:10:38just have a seat
00:10:39alright
00:10:40and i promise
00:10:41he'll be on his best behavior
00:10:42for the rest of the night
00:10:43won't you son
00:10:44so
00:10:45amelia needs money
00:10:46to pay for her sister's cancer treatment
00:10:50cancer
00:10:51hmm
00:10:52yeah
00:10:53and you need to settle down
00:10:54and prove that you're worthy of
00:10:55running the family business
00:10:56make my own money dad
00:11:00okay
00:11:01i want the business
00:11:02huh
00:11:03i think we can uh
00:11:05make a deal
00:11:06whereby
00:11:07everyone gets what they want
00:11:09what kind of deal
00:11:12well
00:11:13nothing crazy
00:11:14heh heh
00:11:15no
00:11:16you two just have to get married
00:11:17that's all
00:11:18what
00:11:21what
00:11:22romulus
00:11:23what are you saying
00:11:24i can't marry the male paris hilton
00:11:26yeah and i can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living
00:11:29ugh
00:11:30well at least i don't pose in my tidy whities for money
00:11:32oh
00:11:33angelo
00:11:34look
00:11:35you have to grow up before you can run out business
00:11:37and the best way to do that is to get married
00:11:39we're not even a match
00:11:41we hate each other
00:11:42at least i do
00:11:43obviously
00:11:44obviously
00:11:45i see
00:11:46there's something uncommon already
00:11:48look you know
00:11:49heh
00:11:50my wife and i we were opposites
00:11:52oh yeah
00:11:53we were like pizza and
00:11:55Hawaiian pizza
00:11:56she sure drove me crazy when we first met
00:11:59i know you're probably thinking i'm just some old fool huh
00:12:03but
00:12:04i learned a thing or two in 70 years
00:12:06you two have chemistry
00:12:09yeah like a nuclear bomb
00:12:11as if
00:12:12romulus
00:12:13isn't there another way
00:12:14i don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life
00:12:17amelia you do want to help your sister don't you
00:12:20well you'll be able to afford the treatment
00:12:22if you just agree to this arrangement
00:12:29what's it gonna be
00:12:33what's it gonna be
00:12:36fine
00:12:38i'll do it
00:12:40now
00:12:41let's just
00:12:42go into the office now
00:12:43the lorries have already drafted the contract
00:12:46and
00:12:47son we are gonna need some champagne
00:12:48right
00:12:49right
00:12:50ready my mind
00:12:51yeah
00:12:52try and make yourself look decent
00:12:53now
00:12:54you will be engaged for a period of 30 days
00:12:57followed by a wedding planned by me
00:12:58you will be engaged for a period of 30 days
00:13:00followed by a wedding planned by me
00:13:01and i'll tell you it's gonna be a big one for the ages too
00:13:03i hope the holiday bowl's not booked
00:13:04anyway
00:13:05uh...
00:13:06uh...
00:13:07uh...
00:13:08uh...
00:13:09uh...
00:13:10uh...
00:13:11uh...
00:13:12uh...
00:13:13uh...
00:13:14uh...
00:13:15uh...
00:13:16uh...
00:13:17uh...
00:13:18uh...
00:13:19uh...
00:13:20uh...
00:13:21uh...
00:13:22you must move in together immediately
00:13:25avoid any suspicion
00:13:26you know
00:13:27look there's nothing wrong with an unarranged marriage
00:13:28but
00:13:29well it can't do any good if word got out to the public right
00:13:30that's why this has to be our own secret
00:13:36immediately to avoid any suspicion, you know.
00:13:39Look, there's nothing wrong
00:13:40with an arranged marriage, but
00:13:42well, it can't do any good if
00:13:44word got out to the public, right?
00:13:46That's why this has to be our own secret.
00:13:49Are we agreed?
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:52Alright. Sign here.
00:14:06Salute to the new couple.
00:14:24So,
00:14:25your place or mine?
00:14:27I'm not staying at a doghouse.
00:14:29Fine.
00:14:31Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:36So, this is Michelangelo's place.
00:14:45It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo
00:14:48museum. Ugh.
00:15:03Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:15:04What was this?
00:15:06Put it in the trash.
00:15:07This isn't trash.
00:15:08These are my sisters.
00:15:09She's an artist.
00:15:11So, put them in your room.
00:15:12I said you could live here,
00:15:13not decorate.
00:15:14Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:15Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:15:17That's man-thong.
00:15:19It's trademarked.
00:15:24Look,
00:15:24I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:26If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back,
00:15:27I'm throwing it all in the fireplace.
00:15:30It's electric.
00:15:31Electric.
00:15:31Oh, by the way,
00:15:38this is gonna work.
00:15:40You might want to start wearing that.
00:15:43Gee, thanks.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:45Welcome.
00:15:45You're getting married?
00:15:54Shh, Betsy.
00:15:56Don't tell the whole world.
00:15:57I'm sorry, Amelia.
00:15:59It's just...
00:16:00It's not like you.
00:16:02You're saying we're...
00:16:04Reserved.
00:16:05Safe.
00:16:07Like I always taught you.
00:16:10Well,
00:16:11things change when you find out your sister has cancer.
00:16:15And besides,
00:16:16Michelangelo offered to help pay for some of your treatments.
00:16:19So,
00:16:20I'm okay with a quick proposal.
00:16:22Michelangelo?
00:16:23The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:25No.
00:16:27Michelangelo...
00:16:28Dino Valeno?
00:16:29Maybe you've heard of him?
00:16:31Michelangelo Dino Valeno?
00:16:33Michelangelo Dino Valeno?
00:16:33Shhh.
00:16:38Socialite Man?
00:16:39Or how to start a hundred and cancel Bravo shows?
00:16:42How did you even meet?
00:16:44His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:47It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:16:51He's so toxic.
00:16:55Speak of the devil.
00:16:57Oh, yeah.
00:16:59You know,
00:17:00that's probably an old issue.
00:17:02This is a doctor's office.
00:17:06Amelia.
00:17:08Betsy Carlisle?
00:17:10Doctor's ready.
00:17:13We'll talk about this later.
00:17:14We're just gonna wet, baby.
00:17:23We're already wet.
00:17:24We're already wet.
00:17:26We're already wet.
00:17:38We're already wet.
00:17:40Where did that come from?
00:18:10Nice place.
00:18:24I love the artwork.
00:18:26Thanks.
00:18:27Finally.
00:18:28A little good taste.
00:18:31No, I'm good.
00:18:33You had plenty at dinner.
00:18:35Far from me.
00:18:40You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bedroom.
00:18:55Who are you?
00:18:58Who are you?
00:19:00Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:19:05Whatever.
00:19:07Can you guys just keep it down?
00:19:08I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:10This is my house?
00:19:12We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:15Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:19:17You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:20What's wrong, dog walker?
00:19:22Who's jealous?
00:19:24Jealous?
00:19:25I'm not jealous.
00:19:27Sweet dreams.
00:19:31I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:38How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:41Even if he is kinda hot.
00:19:43See you later.
00:19:44And, um...
00:19:45Don't worry about last night.
00:19:46Sorry.
00:19:47I had one too many to drink.
00:19:48It won't happen again.
00:19:49You better not.
00:19:50Oh my god.
00:19:51I'm sorry.
00:19:52I had one too many to drink.
00:19:53It won't happen again.
00:19:54You better not.
00:19:55Oh my god.
00:19:56I'm sorry.
00:19:57I had one too many to drink.
00:19:58It won't happen again.
00:19:59You better not.
00:20:00How's the hangover?
00:20:01Roomie?
00:20:02Not now.
00:20:03My head's killing me.
00:20:04We need to talk to you later.
00:20:05I'm sorry.
00:20:06I'm sorry.
00:20:07I'm sorry.
00:20:08I'm sorry.
00:20:09I had one too many to drink.
00:20:10It won't happen again.
00:20:11You better not.
00:20:24How's the hangover?
00:20:25Roomie?
00:20:26Not now.
00:20:27My head's killing me.
00:20:28We need to talk about last night.
00:20:30No.
00:20:31What we need to do is order a three egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:34I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:37Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:39But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:42And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:45Fine.
00:20:46I'll have her sign an NDA.
00:20:47Just give me my phone.
00:20:48My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:20:52And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:20:55Then neither of us get what we want.
00:20:57Yeah, no shit.
00:20:58I'm serious.
00:21:00Don't screw this up.
00:21:02I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:06I know what I'm doing.
00:21:07Dog walker.
00:21:08And just so we're clear.
00:21:09I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:11Whatever I want.
00:21:12Wherever I want.
00:21:13Fine.
00:21:15Do whatever you want.
00:21:17Sorry.
00:21:18It's a bit harsh.
00:21:20I just really hung over.
00:21:25That could have gone better.
00:21:26Hey, baby.
00:21:27You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:21:28You're rich now.
00:21:29I know.
00:21:30I like it.
00:21:31Ah, it's good to hear.
00:21:32You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:34Tell me, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:21:35Oh, fine.
00:21:36Yeah.
00:21:37We're still getting to know each other.
00:21:38All right.
00:21:39Well, give him time, all right?
00:21:40Oh, and listen.
00:21:41He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right.
00:21:45Look, I promise.
00:21:46I wouldn't be so sure.
00:21:47Yeah.
00:21:48You're right.
00:21:49I want to be sure.
00:21:50You're right.
00:21:51You're right.
00:21:52I know.
00:21:53I know.
00:21:54I like it.
00:21:55Ah, that's good to hear.
00:21:56You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:21:59Tell me, how are things going between the two of you?
00:22:03Oh, fine.
00:22:04Yeah.
00:22:05We're still getting to know each other.
00:22:06you're right well we'll see you later yeah come on gucci come on bye gooch
00:22:16hey emilia hey jake
00:22:20gucci no royce it's a bad dog but i'm not actually mad about this it's to see you up close for once
00:22:29yeah same here
00:22:36sorry gucci's um a bit crazy his whole family actually all these rich people are nuts
00:22:46i should make a reality show real dog owners of beverly hills
00:22:52do you want to walk together let these two get to know each other yeah i'd like that
00:22:58so how long have you been a dog walker a couple months i like it i had a bunch of terrible gigs
00:23:10before barista uber driver delivery guy movie extra you were in a movie actually it was a
00:23:19toothpaste commercial just trying to impress you how about you how long you've been doing this
00:23:26i don't know i my whole life i guess it started as a summer job and then i've turned it into my
00:23:32own business i want to open a doggy daycare someday wow i guess you really like dogs
00:23:38well they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes
00:23:43if you want to hang out with this human sometime my band's playing at the echoplex tonight do you
00:23:49want to go i kind of have to admit i had a crush on you you did yeah i still do
00:24:01he's cute i wish he'd asked me out before i got legally engaged then again that fuck boy has been out
00:24:11having fun
00:24:15i'd love to go to the concert oh yeah i mean uh regular yeah
00:24:21i know it's risky but i'm not a socialite like michelangelo i won't have to worry about paparazzi
00:24:30spotting me at the show hey what's your ring um it's just a class ring from high school
00:24:39it looks pretty big it was a big school public schools am i right
00:24:52i mean it kind of looks like an engagement ring
00:24:55me engaged no are you kidding i'm 24 i'm practically still a baby i mean i should be
00:25:01wearing diapers crawling around drooling nope single and ready to mingle okay
00:25:12royce pooped i should pick it up where i don't see it just over there
00:25:17do i have to wear a suit every day of course it's an office you want to be ceo you gotta look
00:25:30the part you mean like you look like willy wonka without the chocolate factory
00:25:36very funny you know i'm retiring next year yes i know yeah that means you gotta get up to speed
00:25:41rapidamente so today you're gonna be my shadow you'll be my extra hands and we got a lot to do
00:25:46can i get starbucks first fuck no come on dad
00:25:59wow oh my goodness are you okay hi i'm michelangelo
00:26:07you're engaged you remember and this is our new palette
00:26:18it's matt's collection he really liked these colors so we did them twice
00:26:22but yeah that's presentation for me michelangelo
00:26:36what dad
00:26:39what did they do it's not even lunch time yet look at you you got so lazy just sitting around taking
00:26:45pictures of yourself all the time just stick with it will you kid hard work does pay off let me just
00:26:51look at amelia what about her she comes from nothing son nobody taught her how to run a business but she
00:26:58just worked hard and now now she earns money doing what she loves i guess that's impressive yeah see see it is
00:27:07i hope she rubs off on you a little you know i just hope i don't get that uptight
00:27:12i don't get that uptight
00:27:18break's over
00:27:35well not too bad huh one day down 40 more years to go
00:27:42now this is the time when you go home with amelia you talk about the day's work
00:27:48raise you closer together comfort each other just like your mom and i used to do
00:27:55you know i'm thinking it's time for the world to meet amelia
00:28:02tonight tonight
00:28:05shit when am i gonna tell chantelle i promise we'd netflix and bang tonight
00:28:09the l.a zoo fundraiser lights camera red carpet perfect time to announce our lovely new addition
00:28:16to the dino
00:28:17or dino
00:28:18now
00:28:18don't you think it's a bit soon dad i mean we just signed the contract
00:28:24what's the matter
00:28:25you're getting along aren't you yeah yeah just really starting to warm up to each other all right so it's all
00:28:32settled i'll see you at eight o'clock tonight in the limo and don't be late
00:28:37too
00:28:48so remind me why are we getting makeovers done again because i want to do something nice for my favorite
00:29:00big sister and and you know i never splurge on stuff like this but since i'm part of the dina
00:29:09lavino family now i think i can afford to let my hair down you better not let that hair down
00:29:15sorry just an expression
00:29:24how's it going in there i'm coming out
00:29:29i've never seen a dog walker look this hot buy that dress asap
00:29:45leave me alone party boy i've got my own function tonight
00:30:04what are you looking at
00:30:28what are you looking at you're spilling all over yourself thanks
00:30:35did you forget my name
00:30:37no it's just uh something different did you change your hair
00:30:42why do you care the man whore house is yours tonight i'm going out i just forgot my charger
00:30:48awesome thanks
00:30:49i'm taking this wait i've been calling you we're supposed to go to a fundraiser
00:30:56i told you i'm busy hold on
00:31:01amelia
00:31:10all right hey look who's right on time nice where's amelia she's sick she can't make it
00:31:19no if your fiance is sick you know you can't go out and party yeah you got to stay home with her
00:31:26give her some give her some nice soup i'll catch both of you for the next one tell Amelia that i hope
00:31:32she feels better soon poor thing okay dad see you in the office
00:31:37stupid dog walker tricking me with her makeover i'll teach her to mess with my plans
00:31:56hey it's michael and lo dino avino you still track people
00:32:07you look like you just walked off a runway without a dog sorry i don't come to concerts often i kind
00:32:27of panicked no worries i should have mentioned this is more of a five dollar beer kind of place
00:32:31yeah but you're drinking for free tonight talk to the bartender wow the ip treatment you look like
00:32:43hey lover boy we're on gotta go find me in the green room after hope you like it
00:32:59okay
00:33:13rock stars are so much better than underwear models
00:33:16good nothing from michelangelo maybe he's learned his lesson one more please
00:33:36but that doesn't mean i'm not hooking up with jake tonight
00:33:44jake you guys are great you really think so nice for like we're ripping off the strokes the who
00:33:55you don't know the strokes
00:33:57are they older i'm more of a top 40 kind of girl it's all right lots of stuff to introduce you to
00:34:08you want some a little drink yeah thank you
00:34:11so when did you learn how to play guitar since i was 13. played in bands all through high school and
00:34:24college but i feel like this one's finally going someplace that's awesome when i get my record deal
00:34:30i can finally quit my job focus on music full time you're gonna quit dog walking i thought you liked it
00:34:39i do but it's just another gig until i hit it big in music i don't even like dogs that much
00:34:44i'm more of a cat person a cat person
00:34:50who doesn't like dogs even michelangelo's good with gucci
00:34:54i don't want to talk about work tonight i just want to relax have a good time you're beautiful you know that
00:35:06i thought i wanted to hook up with jake
00:35:08now i'm not sure we have nothing in common is it weird that i feel a tiny bit guilty
00:35:13what the heck i'm tipsy and he's cute michelangelo had his fun now i can have mine
00:35:36looks like someone needs obedience
00:35:37school what's going on that's michelangelo dina lavino the nepo baby underwear model he's not
00:35:46you're coming with me dog walker don't make me get the leash what the hell michelangelo back off
00:35:52dude back off grubby little hipster she's my fiance so that was an engagement ring jake i can explain
00:36:02let's go i'm really sorry jake i'm not jake
00:36:07this is for making me uber all the way to fucking sober mic
00:36:17and this is for making me listen to andy
00:36:25i can't believe you did that after your high and mighty speech you're such a hypocrite
00:36:29yeah why don't have the paparazzi following me around just an italian american psycho
00:36:33i'm not following you around you know what i get it you saw me with chantelle last night and now
00:36:40you're jealous oh me jealous did you see the way that you were acting around jake
00:36:46like i would ever fuck a dog walker i am more than a dog walker you playboy prick i have a name
00:36:53wait what are you doing that is an original i'm so sick of your bullshit
00:36:56oh fine i'll just hop in my time machine go back to ancient room and get another one i don't care
00:37:02about your art your money your stupid mansion they're treating me like shit that's from the
00:37:08renaissance you're history's worst nightmare i tried to make this work with you we signed a contract for
00:37:13an arranged marriage did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business
00:37:18transaction you are such a simpleton wait wait wait wait wait well at least i'm not a spoiled brat
00:37:27i tried to get along with you you brought this onto yourself i wish i never agreed to this awful
00:37:31engagement right back at you i fucking hate you i fucking hate you more
00:37:48i bet you're okay
00:37:51and i'll see you on this part of your list
00:37:53i'm gonna get in the next part of your list
00:37:58it's just so you can hear it
00:37:59i'm gonna get in the next part of your list
00:38:03and i'll see you on this part of your list
00:38:08but i'm not sure if you've ever seen
00:38:10like a comment on your list
00:38:12and you're not sure if i just haven't seen
00:38:13like a comment on my list
00:38:16Where am I?
00:38:41Who's spooning me?
00:38:46Is that Jake?
00:38:48How drunk was I?
00:38:54Michelangelo?
00:38:56Dog Walker.
00:38:58Oh, I forgot we did that last night.
00:39:02Must have been all those free beers.
00:39:06We don't have to talk about this, right?
00:39:08No, we had too many drinks.
00:39:10We just forget it ever happened.
00:39:12If that's what you want.
00:39:14Definitely.
00:39:16Um, I have to go to work.
00:39:20I should get up too.
00:39:22Oh, my head.
00:39:24There's Pedialine in the fridge.
00:39:28Thanks for coming today, sis.
00:39:30Of course.
00:39:32My doctor did say I needed lots of exercise.
00:39:36Well, you look great.
00:39:38Thanks.
00:39:40I don't feel great.
00:39:42The treatment's taking a lot out of me.
00:39:44You, on the other hand, are glowing today.
00:39:50What's going on?
00:39:52So...
00:39:54Michelangelo and I had sex last night.
00:39:56Wait.
00:39:58For the first time?
00:40:00Yeah.
00:40:02We're taking it slow.
00:40:04Michelangelo, the male gigolo, is taking it slow.
00:40:08Maybe I did misjudge him.
00:40:12And...
00:40:14How was it?
00:40:16Well...
00:40:18Really bad.
00:40:19Right?
00:40:20I knew it.
00:40:21Actually...
00:40:22It was the best sex I ever had?
00:40:24Well, that explains the glow.
00:40:28I am happy for you, sis.
00:40:32Physical chemistry is important.
00:40:34That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:40:37I don't get it.
00:40:38He and I are nothing alike.
00:40:40And yet, he knows how to push all of my buttons.
00:40:42I feel like...
00:40:43Like an arcade game.
00:40:44And he just keeps getting the high score.
00:40:45Again and again and...
00:40:47You get the picture.
00:40:50Hey.
00:40:53Opposites attract.
00:40:54I mean, that's why you guys love each other so much.
00:40:57Because you're so different.
00:41:00Something like that.
00:41:10Here it comes.
00:41:12Right on the schedule.
00:41:13The dog walker's in love with me.
00:41:15I'll have to let her down easy.
00:41:17Weird.
00:41:18I haven't heard from the dog walker all morning.
00:41:27What was that about?
00:41:32Must be the hangover.
00:41:42Hey, I'd like to hang out tonight.
00:41:44Maybe we can finish what we started last time.
00:41:46Hey, unfortunately something came up.
00:42:01I can't make it tonight.
00:42:06Why can't I stop thinking about the dog walker?
00:42:08And why hasn't she texted me yet?
00:42:11Hey.
00:42:23Hey.
00:42:24We should talk about Leslie.
00:42:26We should talk about Leslie.
00:42:42I'm not very good with words.
00:42:43Me neither.
00:42:44But last night I...
00:42:46You don't have to say anything.
00:42:47We both know it was a mistake.
00:42:49And we can just go back to hating each other.
00:42:52Like nothing ever happened.
00:42:54I don't think you understand it.
00:42:55You just listen to me for a second.
00:42:56Look, you don't have to worry about me catching feelings.
00:42:59I'm a big girl.
00:43:00I've had a one night stand before.
00:43:02I've never been with someone like you before.
00:43:05Okay, I get it.
00:43:06I'm not one of your models or your D-list actresses.
00:43:11You don't have to give me some big speech about letting me down easily.
00:43:15I know that if you would take back last night, that you would.
00:43:18And frankly, so would I.
00:43:19I mean, you're driving me nuts.
00:43:21You don't understand.
00:43:22Let's get some takeout and figure this thing out.
00:43:25I don't need you to mansplain my own feelings to me.
00:43:29Wait.
00:43:30Did you just call me Amelia?
00:43:34What happened to Dog Walker?
00:43:37I have a confession to make.
00:43:42Last night...
00:43:43I don't know how.
00:43:45I don't know why.
00:43:47That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:43:49Really?
00:43:52Do I look like I'm lying?
00:43:55I'm not a good actor.
00:43:57I could even do reality TV.
00:43:59But there is a fire between us, Amelia.
00:44:03Some kind of crazy cosmic chemistry.
00:44:08You sound like you're reading a horoscope.
00:44:11Amelia.
00:44:11Amelia.
00:44:13Please.
00:44:15I know you felt it too.
00:44:22Amelia.
00:44:22Please.
00:44:24Don't act like you didn't feel it too.
00:44:27I felt it too.
00:44:32So why are we fighting it?
00:44:34I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:38Me too.
00:44:38I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:39I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:40I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:41I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:42I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:43I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:44I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:45I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:46I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:47I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:48I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:49I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:50I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:51I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:52I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:53I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:54I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:55I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:56I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:57I've been thinking about you all day.
00:44:58so i set the kitchen on fire how am i supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball
00:45:18shots on fire it's not my fault they should change the name no wonder they canceled vanderpump
00:45:26super yacht if you think that's funny just wait till the next episode the captain gets super drunk
00:45:31off espresso martinis and he almost sinks the boat you know when you're not acting like a complete
00:45:42douchebag you're not so bad thanks you know we could actually try this hey if the sex stays this
00:45:52good i'm open for anything i'm serious the wedding's coming up we could give it a shot
00:46:00you mean like you and me together together why not were you planning on marrying someone else
00:46:07oh gucci what's the rush
00:46:23oh hey royce jake how's it going good yeah look the other night was kind of crazy i know
00:46:40i should have told you about michelangelo we were kind of in a fight i'm sorry for bringing you into
00:46:47this is he always like that so aggressive and controlling i couldn't believe the way he just
00:46:53dragged you off like that he was like a caveman lugging home his woman well i am his woman he saw
00:47:01us together and he got jealous and i don't blame him oh my god am i actually sticking up for michelangelo
00:47:08dina volino i didn't mean a pride i just wanted to make sure everything's okay i'm here if you need
00:47:15to talk thanks jake but i'm engaged remember and the only person i want to talk to is my fiance
00:47:24i thought we had a connection you're a cat person it never would have worked
00:47:30come on gucci let's go
00:47:33cats are awesome
00:47:37that was a great presentation the marketing director loved your ideas for the new line
00:47:46you think so
00:47:47maybe i'm finally starting to get a hang of the ceo thing
00:47:51oh yeah yeah now listen i gotta fly to paris for a few days you mind watching uh your little brother
00:47:58for me gucci sure but i mean you know dogs are more amelia's specialty
00:48:03yeah but that's how you impress her you invite her for a romantic date at the dog park at the dog
00:48:09park mm-hmm i just texted her it's all set now go get her lover boy
00:48:16so you just throw it and he brings it back you've never played fetch before
00:48:32it's my dad's dog not mine let me try that's okay i know you don't want to touch a slobbery ball with
00:48:41your dainty hands
00:48:46do you ever get tired of the dog stuff
00:48:50no i like my work
00:48:53what's the point of working if you never get a chance to
00:48:55have fun
00:48:58you're right i should work less
00:49:01if nothing else you're letting me get closer to my little brother
00:49:08fetch gucci
00:49:13i've got a big surprise a surprise just wait and see
00:49:18what's that special delivery from masterione's italian deli
00:49:39but gucci it's your favorite prosciutto
00:49:47you know that's awful for dogs right i thought you were off the clock today besides a special occasion
00:49:57i also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little chianti into it
00:50:02i'm kidding this is for us why don't you get us a court script
00:50:07what else is in the back just some imported italian ingredients so i can make you a real italian
00:50:12dinner you can cook
00:50:28that was so good i feel like i just went to italy even though i've never been
00:50:33done
00:50:34how did you do this i can't cook at all
00:50:37making italian food is one of my favorite things to do
00:50:40did you learn in culinary school no my mom taught me
00:50:45tell me about her
00:50:46i never told a girl about my mom
00:50:50sorry i don't mean to pray
00:50:53she passed away when i was 11. breast cancer
00:50:57but i have a lot of good memories of her she grew up in a little village in tuscany and
00:51:05she taught me everything i know about cooking
00:51:07we'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing
00:51:13i still have all of her recipes here handwritten in italian that's really special
00:51:19i miss her and this might sound corny but
00:51:27i feel a little closer to her when i make her recipes
00:51:30it's not corny but i didn't know you're such a softy
00:51:35just don't tell tmz
00:51:38what about your parents my parents died in a car accident when i was 13.
00:51:44it's been me and betsy ever since i'm sorry i just really hope these treatments work
00:51:53i don't want to lose her too
00:51:57i'm sorry your story made me emotional i'm gonna go do the dishes
00:52:02i'll help you no no it's fine i like doing the dishes it relaxes me
00:52:07good because i hate them well then i guess we make a good team
00:52:14is it just the wine or am i really falling for him
00:52:33hey hey do you want an espresso i just figured out how to make the machine work
00:52:39no thank you you need to have a morning medium i'm kind of in a rush
00:52:43okay well don't forget gucci how could i
00:52:48ready bro well let me fix your tie
00:52:53what do you know about ties you wear t-shirts to work
00:52:57and you wore man thongs two weeks ago touché
00:53:01there you go okay bye bye
00:53:04love you love you love you too
00:53:18sorry it's reflex i didn't mean to say that me neither too soon
00:53:25talk about it later yeah
00:53:27okay okay okay uh could that have been any more awkward and is michelangelo really in love with me
00:53:35look who's here hey my little guy hey little gucci look at this right here huh
00:53:50let's try one oh yeah now here's uh here's mine right just like that huh yeah even got one for big brother right there
00:54:00there you go come to papa yes my boy all right all right so we got to talk about this uh this
00:54:09wedding right this is two weeks off hollywood bowl they're waiting for an answer and i bumped into
00:54:15chris martin on the plane he says the band is free you like cold play right dad you can't have the
00:54:23wedding at the hollywood bowl well all right then we'll book uh the magic castle how about that not
00:54:30too big plenty room for cold play huh let's just pump the brakes we cannot plan a wedding like this
00:54:37why something wrong with amelia no everything's great it's better than great honestly but we cannot
00:54:47have a big flashy wedding that's our thing it's not amelia's thing i think it'd make it uncomfortable
00:54:55wow i never thought of that you know you have a very good point there
00:55:02i'm very impressed you've never acted like this with any other woman i can't say i've ever felt like
00:55:10this with another girl sounds like you might be falling in love love yeah i don't know
00:55:22all right all right change the deal gonna cancel the hollywood bowl all right and then we'll have a
00:55:28nice small intimate affair a wedding with cold play no cold play dad no cold play
00:55:40so it's about my cancer treatment it's not working i know it i talked to my doctors yesterday
00:55:53and i'm cured what you're cured oh congratulations thank you i wasn't expecting it i didn't think i would
00:56:05be cured in only two sessions it only took two sessions i almost had enough in my savings to cover
00:56:12that maybe i didn't need the dina volino's money what's wrong sis we should be celebrating i brought
00:56:20prosecco no yeah no i'm good yeah amelia i'm your sister you can tell me anything
00:56:29is it michelangelo is everything okay if that punk pretty boy hurts you i will take that man thong
00:56:39and give him a wedgie so far up his butt that it will cut him in two it's not michelangelo let's see
00:56:47it's me i have to tell you something
00:56:51i cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage what is this game of thrones
00:57:03it was the only way that i could pay for your treatments and you know that i would do anything
00:57:07for you actually he's not that bad i kind of like him yeah babe that's called stockholm syndrome
00:57:18we need to get you out of there betsy i have real feelings for him but what about the tabloid stories
00:57:30you heard what he did to that floozy in disney world they banned him for life you'll never go to epcot
00:57:37he's not actually like the stories or at least not to me he's only acting like that to get into your
00:57:45pants amelia if you marry michelangelo he will make your life a living hell what if you meet him yeah
00:57:56meet him maybe he'll change your mind maybe maybe you'll actually like him don't count on it please
00:58:04me just give him a chance fine yes only one yes
00:58:13you won't regret it i'm gonna go get the prosecco
00:58:18you better bring the whole bottle
00:58:19thank you for making dinner of course i'm glad she's cancer free we need to celebrate
00:58:32michelangelo you know that betsy is the most important person in the world to me right you
00:58:38mean besides me i'm serious it's really important to me that you two get along
00:58:41have a glass of wine tonight's gonna be great
00:58:56it's enormous why would anybody need so much room it's nice to see you too sis
00:59:07nice to finally meet you betsy
00:59:13so this is the infamous uh michelangelo
00:59:22how about we start off with a glass of champagne 96 domperion amelia said that's the year that you
00:59:27were born yeah sorry i can't drink that fancy stuff it's worth more than my car why would anybody spend
00:59:34that much on a drink
00:59:388.99 at ralph's it's delicious this was made in france sorry can't touch that stuff so who wants a drink
01:00:04you hardly touch your food it's a little too rich for me mine tastes great
01:00:21so michelangelo i have some big sister questions to ask about the pernuptials coming up
01:00:27you don't mind do you fire away so i know you two have been having your
01:00:36fun um but what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase
01:00:42wears off i don't think it's going to
01:00:47that's cute and all but what about a career are you going to support her
01:00:51or kids what's your stance on that or are you just gonna jump to the next person once you get
01:00:57bored and this gets too serious let's see look i know i have a past but i'm committed to it
01:01:06we haven't talked about kids but i'm open to anything see michelangelo that's my point you
01:01:11two are getting married and you barely know each other we know now easy betsy i just think it's a
01:01:19bad idea getting married this soon and if you really cared about amelia you would give her the
01:01:25time and what makes you such an expert i don't see a ring on your finger michelangelo you probably
01:01:32picked them apart the way you're doing me right now it's no wonder amelia was so uptight when i met
01:01:35she gets it from you are you gonna let him talk to me like that amelia you started it
01:01:47why don't we all just calm down betsy's just looking out for my best interest no she's alone
01:01:54and miserable and trying to drag you down with her that's not fair michelangelo she's not been fair
01:01:58to me since she walked through the door you're the horniest bastard in beverly hills and you're
01:02:02a frigid lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy you know what you can't talk to
01:02:07betsy like that that's my sister she just survived cancer that doesn't give her a right to insult me
01:02:15inside my own house this is my house too and she can say whatever she wants not to me you know maybe
01:02:21she should be concerned i don't like this side of you see i told you you should have spent more
01:02:25time getting to know each other but i guess the contract doesn't allow for that you told her
01:02:30she's my sister i don't care that violates our agreement oh is that all i am to you
01:02:35a contractual agreement some kind of obligation it's not what i meant it came out wrong amelia
01:02:41i love you you love me don't listen to him he doesn't even know what that means shut the
01:02:47fuck up you know what maybe she was right i shouldn't have signed that contract it's over
01:02:59we need to get out of here i've seen too many true crime documentaries on netflix to know what
01:03:05happens when you tell rich people secrets amelia i know this is hard to hear but you did the right
01:03:16thing you do so much better than him yeah but he isn't a monster i shouldn't have said that we can talk
01:03:26about it on the road get packing and if we leave now we can get to mexico by dawn lay low for a bit
01:03:32mexico or canada whatever it's that or stay here and get sued by the dino lovinos or worse i don't
01:03:42think romulus and michelangelo would sue us i mean i only told you about the contract it's not like i
01:03:47told the media you don't know that we're liabilities loose ends you should listen to more true kind podcast
01:03:56get rid of that thing they could be tracking us right now yeah you know michelangelo did manage to
01:04:07follow me to the echoplex the other day see he could have a sniper on us
01:04:17it's romulus hey romulus what what do you mean gucci's missing
01:04:26you came against my better judgment i'm not happy you've been blowing me off
01:04:43i've just been busy but it's over with now
01:04:47you should punish me for straying you make me sick i make me sick
01:05:05nice underwear it's great craftsmanship
01:05:11okay let's get this over with
01:05:21is that all you have to say do you even realize how hot i am i'm sorry
01:05:28chantel i thought i wanted this
01:05:32but i don't i'm not the stud that i used to be
01:05:41amelia broke up with me
01:05:47it feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes
01:05:50and all her wishes i could take back how i acted
01:06:01i just wanted to come back to me
01:06:13amelia
01:06:14oh hi dad gucci's gone
01:06:20i'll be right there
01:06:29romulus
01:06:34well i i only had him off the leash for a second you know we're practically in the house and then all of a
01:06:38a sudden he just shot off like a rocket i've been calling him all night but he won't come back
01:06:45paul we can help you find him
01:06:48yeah
01:06:48right
01:06:49oh good thanks good gucci this better not be a trap just come on
01:06:59gucci
01:07:00gucci
01:07:01gucci
01:07:01gucci
01:07:02hey hey where's becalangelo huh i thought you were both together why isn't he here with you
01:07:07oh um he's sorry i'm late dad
01:07:11where were you i had to stop for late night delivery at mastriani's
01:07:15it's gucci's favorite prosciutto this doesn't ring out of hiding nothing will
01:07:19come on
01:07:20smart move dude here ladies take a piece of this prosciutto yeah that's it
01:07:29give me the urk
01:07:41gucci
01:07:41he's hopeless
01:07:49we've been looking for him all night long
01:07:53we're never gonna find him
01:07:54don't give up dad he's just off having a little adventure keep looking he'll turn up in a few
01:07:59minutes
01:08:01see they're not gonna kill us i do have to admit though i didn't expect to see this side of him
01:08:07him
01:08:08he's really there for his dad his dad's dog so you approve now they didn't say that
01:08:19gucci
01:08:19gucci
01:08:23gucci my boy's back
01:08:33okay okay i'm a little closer to approving
01:08:38i might have possibly misjudged you
01:08:51a little
01:08:52i don't know
01:08:53it's okay most of what the tabloids publish is true
01:08:57they just leave out part of the story
01:09:00amelia can we talk
01:09:06please
01:09:06amelia can we talk
01:09:14please
01:09:15okay
01:09:24amelia
01:09:26i'm sorry about earlier tonight
01:09:30i shouldn't have attacked your sister and i shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the
01:09:34contract
01:09:38i hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement
01:09:44thanks for saying that i needed to hear that
01:09:49and i'm sorry for calling you a monster
01:09:53you're not one
01:09:55i'm still learning new things about you
01:09:58most of them are good
01:10:01i'm happy we signed the contract
01:10:04i'm not
01:10:08you're not what do you mean
01:10:12amelia this might sound crazy but
01:10:16i meant it when i said that i love you
01:10:19and i don't want some silly piece of paper to pee the reason that we stay together
01:10:25i want to know that our love is real
01:10:26dad what is it son
01:10:32i want to cancel the contract between me and amelia
01:10:36why son
01:10:38because i want to ask her to marry me
01:10:39and not because of some legal obligation
01:10:47but because she wants to
01:10:48consider our contract noel and boyd
01:11:03amelia where will it be
01:11:05will you marry me
01:11:08will you marry me
01:11:12will you marry me
01:11:13yes i'll marry you
01:11:28you've made me the happiest underwear model in the world
01:11:36and i'm the happiest dog walker
01:11:37and i'll marry you
01:11:38and i'll marry you
01:11:39look at me
01:11:40i'm dripping like a roman aqueduct
01:11:44all right all right you two that's enough all right
01:11:48we spent this whole night together
01:11:50come over to my place all right
01:11:52we'll have a nice breakfast italian style
01:11:55hopefully it's not too rich for you
01:11:58i think i can get used to it
01:11:59and then we can all discuss the wedding all right
01:12:03i want to hear from everybody involved
01:12:05especially uh coldplay
01:12:07we're not getting coldplay dad
01:12:10it was worth a try
01:12:19and now the bride and groom would like to give their vows michelangelo
01:12:42amelia
01:12:45even though we're far from a perfect couple we're
01:12:48perfect together
01:12:51i've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time and
01:12:56not just about dogs
01:12:58i don't know how i ever managed anything without you
01:13:04i'm looking forward to your support and counsel as i take over the family business from my father
01:13:12this year and in return i promise
01:13:16to be patient and a loving husband
01:13:21as you turn our backyard into the doggy daycare you've always dreamed of
01:13:30amelia you are the only thing better than free underwear
01:13:34i love you so much
01:13:44i never thought i would end up with a former man thong model but here we are
01:13:50michelangelo you've helped me come out of my shell and you've taught me how to live life to the
01:13:54fullest something i hope to do more of on our honeymoon in italy
01:14:03and although we haven't spent much time together it feels like a lifetime in a good way
01:14:08i know your mom would be proud of you
01:14:11ti amo michelangelo i love you
01:14:13but with the power vested in me by almighty god and the city of beverly hills i now pronounce you
01:14:20husband and wife you may kiss your bride
01:14:23thanks i'm betsy amelia's sister i'm jake another dog walker it's crazy you know given my sister but
01:14:43i've always been more of a cat person me too
01:14:54oh
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