- 3 months ago
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TVTranscript
00:01What?
00:03I've got the tag still on.
00:05No!
00:07No!
00:09Oh my god, tell me it's not true.
00:12Were you going to return that?
00:13No! I just...
00:14Will you stay with me for a sec while I process the fact I've been mixing with a tag hanging out?
00:18Hey, hey, it happens to the best of us.
00:21Earlier, a lady without shoes actually squatted lime juice in my eye.
00:26And now I'm in quite a bit of pain, actually.
00:29Is it?
00:30Is it bloodshot?
00:32Not in the slightest, actually.
00:35Good.
00:36It did happen, by the way. It was just a ruse to get you to look at my eye.
00:40Hmm.
00:42Right, processing over. I'm going to the cinema.
00:44Yep.
00:45Oh, really?
00:46What's on the cinema?
00:48Brief Encounter.
00:49Oh, no.
00:50No?
00:51No, no, malaise. I can't do malaise.
00:53And I hate sad endings.
00:54What?
00:56No, I love sad endings.
00:58Yeah, unconsummated love. Restrained pain in black and white.
01:01Yes, please!
01:02Ah, sorry.
01:03One large order of unconsummated love, please.
01:05Coming right up. Thank you.
01:06You know, I think I'm all mixed out.
01:09Freshers Week's a lot.
01:10You can just leave, you know.
01:11Can I?
01:12One can.
01:13One can.
01:14But I can't.
01:16Okay, I'm going to give you permission.
01:18No talking at me through the film, though.
01:20I'm very strongly against that.
01:22God, no.
01:24Wait, can you even watch a film with Limeye?
01:27What's that?
01:28You've got Limeye, right?
01:29Right, is that a thing?
01:30Yeah.
01:31Am I going to die?
01:34Mm-hmm.
01:35I promise you that is going to happen.
01:36That is absolutely going to happen.
01:38You are going to die, yeah.
01:39But at least you had a life with all that eye.
01:41Yeah, but seriously, I need you to tell me that I'm not going to die.
01:45Oh.
01:46Oh, no, you're not going to die.
01:47Ever.
01:48Ever.
01:49Ever, ever.
01:50Ever, ever.
01:51Ever, ever.
01:59I don't know your name.
02:04Hi.
02:05Just thought I should drop in.
02:11Check you're all right on D-Day.
02:13You know what?
02:14Can't stay long.
02:16I know.
02:17Didn't ask you to.
02:18I know, I know.
02:19I just feel like I have to warn you, Evelyn.
02:22Consider me warned, Cameron.
02:25What man's voice is that?
02:27It's Cam.
02:28Oh, hello, Cam, darling.
02:31Bad Sam's Grand Slam.
02:33Speakeasy.
02:36I could cry.
02:37You were incredible.
02:38Thanks, Liz.
02:40Mum, I made you some toast.
02:42Why don't you bug in some of them little potato people from the freezer?
02:45OK.
02:46Big old night last night.
02:49Hello.
02:50Des, you got any of those fussy vitamin things?
02:51Mum's in a bad way.
02:53Next to the facewipes.
02:55Hey, wonderful to see your name in life, by the way.
02:58What?
03:03Fucking hell, Evee.
03:11See ya?
03:12Mm-hmm.
03:13Mm.
03:14Eight years of friendship bands with see ya.
03:16Yep.
03:17He didn't want a dramatic goodbye.
03:18Which is classic.
03:19Apparently he wrote down his new address and put it in an envelope, so maybe that was some kind of...
03:22Evie.
03:25It wasn't his address.
03:29It's all coming back to me.
03:30I was wearing Josh's coat by accident.
03:32I found it in the pocket, thought it was for me, so I opened it.
03:35Sorry, so there's a letter in Josh's pocket with Evie's name on it and you think it's for you.
03:40Well, I'd had a lot to drink.
03:41She did, to be fair.
03:42Yes.
03:43Thank you, Evie.
03:44I'm not some kind of bloody lush.
03:45You lot are allowed to get on it like a car bonnet.
03:47When does Mum get her release?
03:49Mum, where is it?
03:50Where is it?
03:51Yes, that's a good question.
03:52I think I put it somewhere safe.
03:54Especially now I know that we're living with a thief.
03:56You think he stole it?
03:57Well, how the fuck do you think it got in his pocket, Evie?
04:00Sorry, I'm catching up.
04:02Josh's mum didn't know he had a girlfriend.
04:04Nope.
04:05And she's got two dishwashers.
04:07And he stole a letter from Noah?
04:09Yes.
04:10Bloody master puppeteer had us wrapped round his bloody finger.
04:12Quite talented Mr Ripley of him, actually.
04:13The letter.
04:14The letter.
04:15The letter.
04:16The letter.
04:17The letter.
04:18The letter.
04:19What did it say?
04:20It said...
04:23Well, why don't I try and remember the feeling?
04:25Because sometimes you remember the feeling when you're a bit fuzzy, don't you?
04:27So I felt...
04:30I felt...
04:33I felt...
04:36Sad.
04:38Sad?
04:39Yeah, I think.
04:40But that might be because I found out that Josh is a liar and a stealer.
04:44Okay, let's look for it.
04:45Yes, yes, yes.
04:47But Cam can't stay.
04:48Oh.
04:49And that's fine.
04:50Come run.
04:52I just don't want this to be the moment I look back upon and regret when I'm...
04:56Sat on my rocking chair.
04:58And kicking the can so far down the road.
05:01What if...
05:02If this is the end of the road?
05:04Darling, I have to say I'm shocked you're confiding in me.
05:07We were really never that close.
05:09Samantha, you're the only person I know that would drink at this hour.
05:13Do you know what?
05:15That is beautiful.
05:17May I ask why in holy heaven you picked this bar?
05:21It's where you first met the girl.
05:23Oh.
05:24Was I there?
05:25That's it.
05:26I've decided.
05:27I'm gonna go.
05:28Get an early train.
05:29I need to just...
05:30Leave.
05:31I just feel like I might have done loads of things wrong.
05:32Oh my God.
05:33You just had a bit too much Prosecco.
05:34You've been way too hard on yourself.
05:35I don't just mean this.
05:36I...
05:37I mean way too hard on yourself.
05:50I don't just mean this.
06:03You're the best mum in the world.
06:07I'm not perfect though, Evie.
06:10No, you're not perfect.
06:13But you're the best.
06:16Hooch!
06:19Go on.
06:21Hooch!
06:23Go on.
06:27Hooch!
06:33She told you, didn't she?
06:41Yes, obviously.
06:42For fuck's sake.
06:44Where did they think you were staying?
06:46Stevo's.
06:48And your Nana?
06:50Fine.
06:51Jesus, that is a very long elaborate lie.
06:54Why would you do that?
06:56It's just how much I love you.
06:58What does that mean?
07:00But love drives you mad.
07:04And, yeah, I have done some mad shit.
07:09I get that.
07:11But I just want to be honest with you now.
07:13I did take something and hide it from you.
07:16I was going to chuck it, but I left my jacket in the...
07:18We know.
07:20Okay.
07:23I didn't read it.
07:25I promise.
07:27I just didn't want him stealing you away from me.
07:32Look, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
07:38Okay, Josh is going to help us look.
07:41He can access Mum's psychology, which is...
07:43It's so fucked, but I need to know where it is.
07:46Susan?
07:48Susan.
07:50Okay.
07:51So, Suzanne was pissed.
07:56Not pissed.
07:57So she will have been craving a snack.
07:59Not pissed.
08:01Mm-hmm.
08:02But she wouldn't have wanted to make a mess prepping anything,
08:04so she would have gone for ease.
08:06Some bickies, perhaps?
08:08No.
08:09Because the seki at the pub's far from dry,
08:11so she wouldn't have wanted sweet, strictly savoury.
08:15But my guess is that you partook in some chunky chips at the pub.
08:20Yeah, so she wouldn't have gone for the guilty draw.
08:22It would have been nuts and crackers.
08:25And, as you've approached, envelope was under the arm.
08:29Yep.
08:30She's reached in, not realising that it's dropped down.
08:32Yep.
08:33There it is.
08:39So you didn't actually kiss?
08:42No.
08:45So nothing happened?
08:48It did.
08:49Not really.
08:52I should have told you.
08:53Yeah, but you are telling me now.
08:58Josh, why would you want to be with someone who has doubts about you?
09:02You clearly have doubts about me, too.
09:04But isn't the love bigger than the doubts?
09:12Was it ever?
09:16There were so many times, I promise.
09:20We were really close.
09:23We were.
09:27I'm sorry, Josh.
09:30I don't blame you.
09:33I do blame him a bit.
09:37And me.
09:39And your dad.
09:40My dad.
09:41My dad?
09:42Well, they're just men.
09:46I've just got this, like, such a strong image in my head.
09:52And, can I just share it with you, do you mind?
09:56It's me, in our kitchen.
09:59And I'm making us lasagna.
10:03And I've got one kid on my shoulder.
10:06And I've got another kid on my back.
10:09And you walk down the stairs, and I say, boys, doesn't mummy look beautiful?
10:14And they say, yeah, mummy, you do.
10:18And then I say, right, boys, it's table time.
10:20And the oldest one, he jumps off and he says, don't worry, mama, you sit down, I'll get you a knife and fork.
10:27And then I say...
10:28What do I say?
10:32What do you mean?
10:35What do I say?
10:36Well, you...
10:39Erm...
10:41Er...
10:48Yeah.
10:49Oh.
11:07Oh.
11:16Oh, fuck.
11:18Oh, fuck.
11:19I don't know if I should open this
11:27It's not my interest
11:31I know that
11:35It's too late
11:40Open it
11:43Is this going to make me lose the plot?
11:47Maybe
11:49Just a little bit
11:50Annoying
11:51Annoying
12:12I'm calling you
12:17What?
12:19I'm calling you
12:21You're going to pick up?
12:26I thought you didn't want a big dramatic goodbye
12:28You know what I'm like
12:29Yeah I do
12:30Will you make your bloody mind up please?
12:37My legs won't work
12:38Jelly
12:40No bones
12:41What do I do?
12:44I remembered what it said
12:49I need to help him but I can't go like this
12:53Maybe I could have a few shots of something
12:55Yeah okay
12:56Or I could write him something and you could deliver it for me
12:59I think it's probably who he wants to see babe
13:01Is could you get me some weed?
13:02Evie?
13:03I don't know where to get weed
13:03I do
13:04What?
13:06No I mean I don't
13:07Okay I'm just going to wait
13:09I'm just going to wait a sec until I calm down
13:11You know?
13:12Pause action until Serenity enters
13:14Yeah but what time is this train leaving?
13:17Just over an hour
13:18I don't think Serenity's going to enter in time
13:19Maybe you're not supposed to be like this babe
13:22Maybe you are supposed to be like this
13:24Yeah because like what actually happened
13:26Evie's I do have to say that all that happened
13:28Was you got sad
13:29Acted weird
13:30And then locked yourself in my house for six months
13:31Like maybe it's the feelings that are scary
13:34Not the world
13:34Yeah that's it
13:35I mean it's just your personality babe
13:38I mean you've done a lot with that personality
13:40Like galaxies and magic and rainbows
13:43You know all while you were
13:44You know
13:46So what's a little stop in the love of your life
13:48Getting on a train to Bristol
13:49Whoever lose the plot
13:52Hey
13:54All feelings are for feeling
13:56Since when?
14:01Hang on a minute
14:02I've got an idea
14:04What if you don't go as yourself babe?
14:09What the fuck?
14:11I'm Babi Streisand
14:12Oh that's not good
14:40What's the...
14:42What's the...
14:43What's the...
14:45What's the...
14:47What's the...
14:48What's the...
14:49Okay then
14:50Eves?
14:53Eves!
14:55You owe me
14:56I'll do
15:00Go and get out boy!
15:05Flora walks beside me, walks on by
15:11Gets me to the church on time
15:15Terrifies me, makes me body
15:20Puts my trust in love
15:35Completely overwhelmed, what are you doing here?
15:59You wanted me to come
16:00Right
16:02Please sit
16:05Formal
16:08It's over with Josh
16:18Oh
16:22Got your address
16:26And do you approve of my address?
16:34I fucking love your address
16:36Really?
16:39Entirely
16:40My heart is exploding
16:46What happens now?
16:50Excuse me, you can't sit in here unless you're paying customers
16:53So I'm going to have to ask you to be paying customers
16:57Okay, two cups of tea then please
16:58Yeah, what kind of tea would you like?
17:00We've got lemon and ginger, chamomile
17:03Noah?
17:03No
17:04Breakfast please
17:06Peppermint
17:07Peppermint and licorice
17:08We've got lapsang
17:10Breakfast please, breakfast
17:11So what's going on with you two then?
17:13Just the tea please
17:14Well I'm not a waiter so I'm afraid you're going to have to come over here and pay
17:19Sure you're on a wait
17:37Why would we go?
17:43Hydra
17:43Why Hydra?
17:44I don't know, I think artists used to go there
17:47Yeah, but we're not artists
17:48You are?
17:51You are
17:52Wait, they don't have cars there
17:55We can't drive
17:57Yeah I know, but I want to learn
17:58That's what I should do
18:00I should learn how to drive
18:01Learn how to drive in Bristol, we have the best roads in the UK
18:03Is that true?
18:05I don't know, I'm just trying to get you to come with me
18:07Look, we'll buy a house with really high ceilings
18:09With what money?
18:10And we'll fill up the shelves all the way to the top
18:12With all the novels that I'm apparently going to write
18:14With all the novels you will write
18:16And we'll have dinners with wine
18:18We'll make a five year plan
18:20Wine makes you ill
18:24And I don't think I'm ready for a five year plan
18:28I don't even have a one day plan
18:30Because in order to have a plan you have to
18:32Know what you want
18:34Okay, okay, let's scratch that
18:37The point is
18:38You can be whoever you want to be
18:40And I'll be whoever you need me to be
18:42Noah
18:44Thousands of people we can be
18:47So many worlds we can live in
18:48We have to live in this one
18:52The real one
18:55In this one you go
19:01I'm staying
19:05You can't
19:07You can't
19:09Look Evie, I have been unknowable
19:10Let me try and be knowable
19:14I've always known you
19:17We never really had to meet, did we?
19:21If you stay we'll just
19:26We'll keep going deeper and deeper
19:28Until our brains fucking explode
19:31And you'll be sat there with my brains all over your face
19:35Thinking I didn't do any of the things
19:38I wanted to achieve in my life
19:39It's not the right time, is it?
19:44Please
19:44You have to get on that train, Noah
19:49You have to move this forwards
19:52Please
19:56I'll never get better if you stay
20:01I need to do this on my own
20:04Okay
20:10Okay
20:15Oh, a shit ending
20:19Yeah
20:20We can whack a great soundtrack on it
20:25We'll be fine
20:40Oh, baby
21:06We were coming to get you
21:07Ziggy's dad's going to get his junk leads
21:09Night in shining armour
21:10Wealthy
21:10So, where's our prince?
21:14Are you to the love story?
21:18We're the love story
21:19Heaps
21:21Baby
21:22Oh, tell me you snogged him
21:25Fucking hell
21:29I saw Romeo Montague with a face like a slapped arse earlier
21:41You broke up?
21:42Yeah
21:43So you really are a spinster now
21:45You might even qualify as a formback, you know
21:46Genius
21:48Your mate didn't stay
21:50No
21:50Tough luck, house arrest
21:52No job, no mates
21:53Callum
21:54Sorry
21:55Oi
21:58Or yourself
21:59Yeah
22:00See you later, Avisham
22:07Now, I don't have to go out
22:16I have you on some company
22:17Steph says she's more than happy to come and sit with the girls
22:19No, you two go
22:20Have fun
22:21What do you want you're going to do?
22:23Guilty
22:23I don't know if Steph's going to do Barry Gibbs
22:25But we'll see
22:26I just hate how early these places close
22:29It's like I just want to carry on
22:31I want to carry on
22:32Yeah
22:32What are you going to do?
22:36I don't know
22:37It's good
22:39It's good though
22:41Okay, Havers
23:00Cannot believe you got into my head
23:02But it kind of worked
23:03So
23:04Maybe you're not full Froot Loops
23:06I've been thinking about why you pissed me off
23:09And I realise maybe it's because we're similar
23:10Me and you
23:11You lock the door from it all
23:13And I pedal away
23:14You can't go out
23:16And I can't stay in
23:17I thought that was the sum total of us
23:19But seeing you cycle off on me bike
23:21I have to admit I was pretty impressed
23:23You changed the game
23:24You made me reckon
23:26Maybe one day Mrs Mertz will let me back in school
23:28And maybe I'll kick the urinal a bit
23:31But not off the wall
23:32For someone so tapped
23:35You're pretty determined, you know
23:36And maybe if you keep trying to leave the gaff
23:38I'll keep trying not to be a huddling
23:39I read this book till it got boring
23:43And this quote made me think of you
23:45I must be taken as I've been made
23:48The success is not mine
23:51The failure is not mine
23:53But the two together make me
23:56Tell anyone about this
24:00And I'll deck you
24:01From Callum
24:03Happy New Year Callum
24:04New Year Eve
24:06Oh nice
24:11I'm away
24:12I can't believe she can go places now
24:16But we're still in the fucking garage
24:17It's the carry-on Isabel
24:19It's not the garage
24:20It's just the garage, Suze
24:21Where is Madden with the shampers?
24:24Right, come on
24:25It's game time
24:26One, two, one, two
24:27Right, let's play Under the Rug
24:29Or
24:30Shot
24:31Under the rug?
24:32Yeah, tell the truth
24:33Tell the truth
24:34Mum, you start
24:35Yeah
24:35Oh, come on, Suze
24:38Don't be boring
24:39Fine
24:40Okay, I'd rather be in the good room
24:42What about Evie's lasagna?
24:45It's delicious
24:46Mum, the truth
24:47Okay, fine, it's vile
24:48But nobody tell her
24:51And
24:52I really fancy Ziggy's dad
24:54Mint
24:57Right, come on, Izzy, Izzy, where are you?
24:59Your turn
25:00Um, I'm actually a bit loaded from all the dogs
25:04Hey, you've been loaded
25:05Yeah, loaded
25:06Steph, you're next
25:08And I want to ask you yours
25:09Right
25:09What was your job?
25:11No boo
25:16Oh, come on
25:18Sam it
25:20I am two weeks sober
25:23Oh, yay
25:25Sam
25:27Oh, it's New Year's Eve, darling
25:30It doesn't count
25:30Baby girl
25:33Hi
25:34Hey, does anyone want some more lasagna?
25:37Oh, me please
25:38What's so funny?
25:42Nothing
25:43We're just playing under the rug
25:44Oh, okay
25:46I have decided
25:53Even though I might be terrified every day for the rest of my life
25:56I'm not going to let it stop me from making stuff happen
25:59Oh
26:01Fair fox, girlies
26:04Fair fox
26:06Oh, Jesus Christ
26:07It's nearly midnight, everyone outside
26:09Ziggy's dad's doing fireworks
26:10I just need to set up the lyrics for the Auld Lang Syne sing song
26:15Don't think we need the lyrics for the Auld Lang Syne sing song, babe
26:17Mum, it's my personality
26:19Yeah, it's your personality
26:22Right, see you outside when you're ready
26:26Come on, let's go
26:27Right, okay
26:29What's that step?
26:31Come on
26:32Woo
26:33Hiya
26:34Go down in
26:35You're gonna have to be out of the air
26:37Moor
26:38Moor
26:39Moor
26:40Moor
26:41Moor
26:42Moor
26:43Moor
26:44Moor
26:45Moor
26:46Moor
26:47Moor
26:48Moor
26:49Moor
26:50Moor
26:51Moor
26:52Moor
26:53Moor
26:54Moor
26:55Moor
26:56Moor
26:57Moor
26:58Moor
26:59Moor
27:00Moor
27:01Moor
27:02Moor
27:03Moor
27:04Moor
27:05Moor
27:06Moor
27:07Moor
27:08Moor
27:09Moor
27:10Moor
27:11Moor
27:12Moor
27:13Moor
27:14Moor
27:15Moor
27:16Moor
27:17Moor
27:18Moor
27:19Moor
27:20Moor
27:21Moor
27:22Moor
27:23Moor
27:24Moor
27:25What?
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