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00:00He's the love guru, here to solve all of your love problems.
00:06Graduating from the College of Mystic Arts, the guru is the master of mysterious magic.
00:13But you provide love for everybody, yes?
00:15I want to kiss my girlfriend.
00:17Darling.
00:22So I have a girlfriend.
00:23Yeah.
00:24She's a little bit more on the quiet side.
00:26Wake up.
00:27Yuck.
00:30Love bro guru.
00:32Love guru?
00:33Whether you're the father, the half-son, or the horny ghost, he's got all the solutions for your heart.
00:45You know what we're saying?
00:50Love guru, what's up?
00:52What up?
00:53Good, how are you?
00:54I'm great, I'm great.
00:55So I need your help.
00:56So I have a girlfriend.
00:57Yeah.
00:58She's a little bit more on the quiet side.
00:59Okay.
01:00I need you to help her become, you know, a little bit more talking.
01:02Okay.
01:03So, where is she?
01:04Bring her in.
01:05Alright, this is my girlfriend.
01:08Her name is Amber.
01:10Okay.
01:12This is Amber?
01:13Yeah, I just need your help to just, you know, bring the best out of her.
01:17There is a psychiatric link.
01:18Next door, 50% off if you say my name.
01:20What did you say?
01:21Huh?
01:22It's not getting physical.
01:23What can I do?
01:24Make her more animated.
01:25You're the guru.
01:26Do your thing.
01:27Let's go.
01:28Abracadabra, here comes Alexander.
01:31Hello, can I open my eyes?
01:34Yes.
01:35What is this?
01:39It's me, Alexander.
01:41I said her name was Amber.
01:44Her name was Amber.
01:46Her name was Amber.
01:51Her name was Amber.
01:55Darling.
01:56Baby.
01:57Baby.
01:58Darling.
01:59Hmm, sugar plum.
02:02Hello, love boats.
02:03Oh.
02:04We're not alone.
02:06What's your problem?
02:07Can't take my hands off her.
02:09Neither can I.
02:10Well, okay, I can help you.
02:14Shush, shush, shush.
02:15Make them whoosh.
02:17Why do you always wear that lipstick?
02:20You know I don't like it.
02:21You leave your dirty socks and underwear all over the floor.
02:24The best I can.
02:25I shower every day.
02:26Oh, stop.
02:27And then I find your hair in the toilet.
02:29And in the sink.
02:30You know what?
02:31That's what it's like to have a girlfriend.
02:32Blah, blah, blah.
02:33You stink.
02:34You stink.
02:35You stink.
02:36No.
02:37Oh, stop.
02:38Oh, stop.
02:39Ow.
02:40Get your hands off.
02:41Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
02:42Make them shush.
02:43Shush.
02:44Shush.
02:45My dear love, where have you been my whole life?
02:47Where have you been?
02:49Where have you been?
02:50Where have you been?
02:52You stink.
02:53You stink.
02:54No.
02:56Good evening, Mr. Guru.
02:58Good evening.
02:59My name is Vlad.
03:01And I'm looking for love.
03:03Yes, yes.
03:04You have to book an appointment.
03:05I have an interview with Hot Player magazine right now.
03:07But you provide love for everybody, yes?
03:09Temporary love for the evening.
03:11Virgin, non-virgin, it does not matter.
03:13This is not that kind of place.
03:15Come on, just a little bit of time.
03:17Please, Vlad, leave.
03:19Leave.
03:20But I am hungry!
03:24Hello, Guru.
03:25I'm so sorry.
03:26I had the appointment with you.
03:27And I'm so late.
03:28I'm so sorry.
03:31Oh, hello.
03:36Perfect.
03:44Virgin, non-virgin, it does not matter.
03:46Yeah, so I love Guru.
03:50There's this girl that I really like.
03:53And I don't know how to approach her.
03:59There's this girl that I don't know how to...
04:01Can you speak faster?
04:02I don't know.
04:03Can you speak faster?
04:04I don't know.
04:05I don't have the confidence.
04:06Drink this mic.
04:12Okay, now, what is it?
04:13Oh, wow.
04:14Yeah, so this girl that I really like, Diane.
04:16I really like her.
04:17And I really want to talk to her.
04:18Give me the power, the confidence,
04:19to speak to her.
04:20I don't know.
04:21It's so frustrating that I can't...
04:22I don't know how to...
04:23Okay, here.
04:24What is this?
04:33Hey, Mike.
04:34Hey, Mike.
04:35Mike.
04:40Mike.
04:42Mike.
04:43Hey, Mike.
04:51Love, bro, Guru.
04:53Can you move a bit?
04:54You're too tough.
04:55Yeah, okay.
04:57Yeah, okay.
04:58Love, bro, Guru.
04:59As you can tell, I'm having trouble with intimacy.
05:02You don't even let me touch you at all!
05:05I can't even touch you once!
05:07Stop fighting!
05:08Both of you close your eyes.
05:29Alright, open your eyes.
05:33How do you feel?
05:36I don't think so.
05:40Isn't that all you want?
05:42I want love from the love guru.
05:44Come over here!
05:46Give me your love! I want your love!
05:52I want your love!
05:56Love guru, can you help me?
05:59I have to find my high school boyfriend, Bobby Johnson.
06:02Can you help me, please?
06:04I sure can, Ladybug. Close your eyes.
06:08Om. Beam. Bush.
06:13Ladybug.
06:15I'm sorry to say, he's dead.
06:18But we have a good news.
06:19What is that?
06:20He's reincarnated.
06:22Can you bring him to me?
06:23Yes. Om. Beam. Bush.
06:26Whoosh.
06:27Ugh.
06:29What is this?
06:31This is my tenth husband's second son.
06:34What?
06:35How can you do this to me?
06:36It's not Bobby Johnson.
06:38What have you done to me?
06:39Where is Bobby Johnson?
06:40It's Bobby Johnson.
06:41Oh.
06:42Oh.
06:43Oh.
06:44Oh.
06:45Oh.
06:46Oh.
06:47Oh.
06:49Oh.
06:50Hey, love guru.
06:51I'm sick and...
06:52I'm tired of my wife.
06:57Oh.
06:58She keeps troubling me.
06:59I'm exhausted.
07:00I want divorce.
07:03The best way to do a breakup is to do in person.
07:06Okay, where is she?
07:08India.
07:09I have a solution.
07:10Mia.
07:11Mia.
07:12Mia.
07:13Mama.
07:14Yeah, mama mia.
07:15Bush.
07:16What are we doing here?
07:17What are you doing here?
07:18Who are you?
07:19Oh, I love your necklace.
07:20I don't love you.
07:21Isn't she a wife?
07:22That's not my wife.
07:23What are you doing here?
07:24Is she my wife?
07:25Frost with immigration.
07:26Let's go.
07:27I am citizen.
07:28Take her.
07:29Take her.
07:30Take her.
07:32I want divorce.
07:35Hello, Kumu.
07:37Hello.
07:38I want to kiss my girlfriend.
07:40Oh.
07:41I can send you some YouTube tutorials.
07:43What tutorial?
07:44She's right there.
07:47She's a ghost.
07:48She's a ghost?
07:49Can you help me?
07:50Send me to the spirit world.
07:52Then we can be in together.
07:54I don't know how.
07:56I just want to kiss her.
07:58Pretty scary.
07:59I just want to kiss her.
08:01Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
08:03Make this guy disappear.
08:08Tommy?
08:09Tommy, are you here?
08:10Where are you?
08:11Dang, you didn't pay the bill, Tommy.
08:16He started already.
08:17Hey, this is not a model, man.
08:19What the heck?
08:20Oh, my ears are bleeding.
08:28Hello.
08:29Love Guru?
08:31Wake up.
08:33Oh, there he is.
08:34What is this I'm sitting on?
08:35Do you know how uncomfortable this is?
08:37I deserve better.
08:38What is it, Mr. CEO?
08:39I need help.
08:40My wife doesn't talk to me for weeks.
08:43I took Janet.
08:44She's from HR.
08:45I took her to a Hot Play concert a few weeks ago.
08:47They put us on the Jumbotron.
08:49Now everybody knows.
08:50Can you help?
08:51Let me see what happened.
08:52Okay.
08:53Cola, cola, cola.
08:59It's the wife.
09:00She wants to talk.
09:01You are amazing.
09:02Please, help me make sure I don't ever do this again and make the wife get back to me.
09:07Okay.
09:08Cola, cola, cola, cola.
09:12Now, drink this cola.
09:14Okay.
09:15How much does this cost?
09:16I don't care.
09:17I'm rich.
09:18What's this?
09:24Janet from HR.
09:25She wants to go for church tonight.
09:26That's the wrong woman.
09:27You really are magic.
09:30Hey CEO.
09:32Mr. CEO.
09:40She's from HR.
09:45Love the room?
09:48People tell me you solve everyone's love problem.
09:51Yes.
09:52I solve everyone's problems.
09:55Hmm.
09:56Solve mine.
09:58Okay.
09:59I have a solution for your problem.
10:01Boom, boom, bush.
10:03Boom.
10:04What?
10:05Drink this.
10:06What is this?
10:07The portion that solves all of your problems.
10:09We'll see.
10:10That didn't change anything.
10:17And I'm a detective.
10:19And you're under arrest.
10:20Detective Hart with the fraud department.
10:22You're under arrest.
10:23Boom, boom, boss.
10:24Come on.
10:25Let's go.
10:26I know my rights.
10:27It's too powerful to be silenced.
10:28Tell it to the judge.
10:29I'm in the crack.
10:30I'm in the crack.
10:31Oh my God.
10:33You.
10:34You.
10:35You.
10:36You.
10:37You.
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