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00:42:48What does it all really mean?
00:42:54It's easier not to care for you
00:42:56But for us, we were trained to care
00:43:00We were raised that way
00:43:02I used to watch a fucking cartoon
00:43:04When I was growing up
00:43:06Called Care Bears
00:43:12It was about a fucking group
00:43:14Of teddy bear people
00:43:16They were like teddy bears but they were like people
00:43:18And they were all different colors
00:43:20And they all fucking just walked around caring
00:43:24They cared about each other
00:43:26And everything else
00:43:28They all had
00:43:30Different designs on their stomachs
00:43:32And the designs told you something
00:43:34About what they might be like inside
00:43:40Very, very loving group of beings
00:43:42And when shit got real bad
00:43:44As nice as those teddy bears were
00:43:46They didn't get mean faces
00:43:48They got determined
00:43:50And the leader would say
00:43:52Come on guys
00:43:54It's time for the Care Bear
00:43:56Stare!
00:43:58Remember that shit?
00:44:00And them little teddy bears would lock arms
00:44:06And stare at the problem
00:44:08And I'm not even bullshitting
00:44:10Actual love would shoot out of their chest
00:44:18And would dispel anything that was fucked up
00:44:20And when we grew up
00:44:22And when we grew up
00:44:24We wanted to be like those babies
00:44:26And then we got our hearts broken
00:44:28Cause we found out
00:44:30That life wasn't gonna let us do that
00:44:32And that it's impossible
00:44:34To shoot love out of your chest
00:44:36However
00:44:38I have shot love onto somebody's chest before
00:44:46I do it all the time
00:44:48It's the next best thing
00:44:50Oh yeah, you kids don't know
00:45:00Your generation is just determined to be
00:45:04Angry
00:45:06Mad
00:45:08Everybody's mad
00:45:10Back when we were growing up
00:45:11Only black people were mad
00:45:12Now, everybody's just trying to get in on the act
00:45:16I try to think to myself
00:45:18When did everyone get mad?
00:45:19And then I realized
00:45:20This happened before we were born
00:45:22This is a long way to go
00:45:23But
00:45:24Probably started
00:45:26In the Second World War
00:45:28Think about it
00:45:29All these black men
00:45:31Millions of black men
00:45:32Leave the United States for the first time
00:45:34Go over to Europe with America's armed forces
00:45:37And fight the Nazis
00:45:39And make more money fighting Nazis
00:45:41Than they ever dreamed they would make in the United States
00:45:44And a lot of those men
00:45:46While they were in Europe
00:45:47Just to be real
00:45:49Not to be crass
00:45:50A lot of them
00:45:51Probably got their dick sucked by white women
00:45:55I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen
00:45:57This was World War II Europe
00:45:58And these were desperate times
00:46:00And penises were being sucked for shoelaces
00:46:02And chocolate
00:46:03And very frivolous things
00:46:08And it's very hard to come back to America
00:46:10And sit on the back of the bus
00:46:11After you've been in the south of France
00:46:12Getting your dick sucked for a crunch bar
00:46:14Or some crazy shit like that
00:46:19That's a life changing experience
00:46:24And while that was happening in Europe
00:46:26Here in America
00:46:27For the first time
00:46:28Women entered the workforce in mass
00:46:31By the millions
00:46:33All the men were gone
00:46:34Someone had to run the factory
00:46:36The ladies didn't
00:46:37That's right
00:46:39This was the first generation of American women
00:46:42To have independent income in mass
00:46:44And when the men came back
00:46:46The women weren't the same
00:46:47American women had grown
00:46:49They were uttering phrases
00:46:50That no woman on earth
00:46:51Had ever spoken before
00:46:53Things like no
00:46:54And shut the fuck up
00:46:55And I don't feel like it
00:46:57And then behind the scenes of that
00:47:06There was a little known government agency
00:47:09That started testing mind control drugs
00:47:11On the American public
00:47:12They fucked up
00:47:14They tested it for 12 years
00:47:15They didn't realize
00:47:16These drugs were not mind controlling
00:47:18They were mind expanding
00:47:20It was LSD and mescaline
00:47:22And shit like that
00:47:23And for the first time
00:47:25There was a new school of thought
00:47:27That was chemically induced
00:47:28That made people question
00:47:29The very society they lived in
00:47:31By 1960
00:47:33The president of the United States
00:47:34Was only 42 years old
00:47:37Can you imagine?
00:47:38DMX is older than that
00:47:44And he was gonna usher in a new era of peace
00:47:47He was gonna avoid the Cold War
00:47:49He was gonna end segregation
00:47:50And they blew his fucking brains out
00:47:53In front of everyone in Dallas
00:47:55This country was never the same
00:47:57There were seven more major assassinations in the 60's
00:48:00Anyone that stood up and said anything
00:48:02Was shot down the streets
00:48:04Like a fucking dog
00:48:05Kennedy
00:48:06Kennedy
00:48:07King
00:48:08X
00:48:09Albers
00:48:10On and on
00:48:11He didn't even have to be famous
00:48:12He could be a college student at Kent State
00:48:13Or in Mississippi protesting the Vietnam War
00:48:15And they shot them too
00:48:20The 70's were a wild era
00:48:22And while all this was going on
00:48:26Bill Cosby raped 54 people
00:48:29Holy shit, that's a lot of rapes, man
00:48:35This guy's putting up real numbers
00:48:38He's like the Steph Curry of rape
00:48:41Man, that's a lot of rapes
00:48:4654
00:48:48He had raped 30 less people
00:48:51That's still two dozen rapes
00:48:55Don't forget each one of these rapes
00:49:01Has eight hours of sleep in it
00:49:03Ladies and gentlemen, that's over 400 hours of rape
00:49:09It only takes 65 hours to get a pilot's license
00:49:18If rakes were aircraft, this nigga's top gun for sure
00:49:28Yeah, that's a tough one
00:49:30You know, and I was on stage not too long ago
00:49:33I was in Syracuse, New York
00:49:34Yeah, well, yeah, for Syracuse
00:49:37But the show didn't go so good
00:49:39All because I was talking about Bill Cosby a little bit
00:49:42Not a little bit, I'll be honest
00:49:43Talked about him for like, maybe 25 minutes
00:49:45And a woman stood up in the back of the room
00:49:50And she screamed out
00:49:51You are a fucking asshole for saying these things
00:49:56I know
00:49:58Instantly I felt, you know, like bad
00:50:02Not bad about what I was saying
00:50:04I just felt bad
00:50:05Like, oh, that's too bad she doesn't like the show
00:50:07I didn't realize it at first
00:50:11But not only did she say that
00:50:13She was rushing the stage
00:50:15By the time I saw her
00:50:17I just saw this shadowy figure
00:50:19Fucking charging up the aisle towards me
00:50:21In full fight mode
00:50:23I was horrified
00:50:24I said, oh my god
00:50:27I'ma kick this bitch in the face
00:50:37Lucky for me, I didn't have to
00:50:39Security tackled her
00:50:40But it was a really fucking horrifying scene
00:50:42Scuffle ensued
00:50:45And then, finally, she screamed after me
00:50:49Women suffer
00:50:51I said, I know
00:50:53And ladies, I need you to know
00:50:55That I know
00:50:58I need you to know
00:50:59Seriously, there's a lot of men in this room
00:51:01That identify themselves as feminists
00:51:03I would include myself in that
00:51:05Don't ever forget
00:51:06We all have mothers and daughters and sisters and wives
00:51:09And we want to see all these women do well
00:51:13And not be held back by their gender
00:51:15There's a lot of men like that in this room
00:51:17There's a lot of men like that in the world
00:51:19Or as we are known on the streets
00:51:21Bitch ass niggas
00:51:30But as this woman was wrestling and screaming at me
00:51:32I started to take offense
00:51:33And I'ma be honest
00:51:34Race was involved
00:51:35She was a young white woman
00:51:36Well intentioned
00:51:37But it's like
00:51:38Not thinking it all the way through
00:51:40Bitch, how the fuck
00:51:41Are you going to yell at a black man
00:51:43About discrimination?
00:51:46She didn't get it
00:51:47She just kept going
00:51:48Women suffer
00:51:49I know
00:51:50Women suffer
00:51:51Same team
00:51:53Women suffer
00:51:54I know
00:51:56And this bitch went too far
00:51:57We suffer just like you
00:51:58Slow your roll, bitch
00:52:00You suffer
00:52:05Yes, but not like me
00:52:07Not like us
00:52:08She goes suffering and suffering
00:52:10What's the difference?
00:52:11I said, come on white woman
00:52:12You know what it is
00:52:14You was in on the heist
00:52:15You just don't like your cut
00:52:20You suffer
00:52:21I suffer
00:52:23You suffer
00:52:24I suffer
00:52:25That's how it works
00:52:27Can't do comparative suffering
00:52:29If you're hungry
00:52:30And your friend says, you know
00:52:31People are starving in Africa
00:52:32So what, nigga?
00:52:33I still want lunch
00:52:41Black people know about comparative suffering
00:52:43And you know this is a fucking dead-end game
00:52:45Blacks and Jews do that shit to each other all the time
00:52:47You ever played Hoot Sefer Moor with a Jewish person?
00:52:53It's a tough game
00:52:56Whenever you think you got the Jewish guy on the ropes
00:52:58That motherfucker will be like
00:52:59Well, don't forget about Egypt
00:53:00Egypt?
00:53:01God damn, nigga
00:53:02I didn't know he was going all the way back
00:53:04To Egypt
00:53:11What the fuck is wrong with?
00:53:12What does she think?
00:53:13Does she think that I don't know
00:53:15That rape is wrong?
00:53:16Does she think that maybe I don't have empathy
00:53:19For Bill Cosby's alleged victims?
00:53:21And
00:53:22I would be remiss
00:53:23If I didn't remind you
00:53:25That technically
00:53:26These are all still allegations
00:53:28Although I admit
00:53:29It looks very bad
00:53:36But perhaps
00:53:38If she looked at it correctly
00:53:39She would have empathy for me
00:53:41The man she was attacking
00:53:4342-year-old black comedian
00:53:45Obviously
00:53:47Bill Cosby was a hero to me
00:53:49And she doesn't know what it feels like
00:53:51To think that your hero might have done something so heinous
00:53:55My God, you can't imagine
00:53:57It would be as if you heard that
00:53:59Chocolate ice cream itself
00:54:02Had raped 54 people
00:54:04You'd say to yourself
00:54:05Oh man, but I like chocolate ice cream
00:54:10I don't want it to rake
00:54:11Didn't want to believe it
00:54:13At first I didn't believe it
00:54:14I was like man, these people are obviously
00:54:15Trying to destroy
00:54:16Dr. Cosby's rich legacy
00:54:17Even 34 allegations into it
00:54:18I was still like
00:54:20Man, probably only rate 10 or 11 of those people
00:54:23I know, I know
00:54:24I know, I know, but it's really tough
00:54:25You know, you guys are young
00:54:26See, imagine if you found out 40 years from now
00:54:27That Kevin Hart raped 54 people
00:54:28He'd be like, you know
00:54:29The only one that would believe that would be Cat Williams
00:54:30He'd be like, I knew that motherfucker
00:54:31Was up to something
00:54:32I knew Kevin Hart raped 54 people
00:54:34I knew Kevin Hart raped 54 people
00:54:35I know, I know, but it's really tough
00:54:37You know, you guys are young
00:54:39See, imagine if you found out 40 years from now
00:54:46That Kevin Hart raped 54 people
00:54:49Only one that would believe that would be Cat Williams
00:54:53He'd be like, I knew that motherfucker was up to something
00:54:55C'est parti, c'est parti.
00:55:25C'est parti, c'est parti.
00:55:56And there it is.
00:55:58So I took him to the show.
00:56:00And we go, we sit right up front.
00:56:02The lights go down.
00:56:03And one opening act after another goes on.
00:56:06Then Kevin takes the stage.
00:56:08Crowd goes fucking nuts.
00:56:10Thousands of people.
00:56:12I was furious.
00:56:13The longer the show went on, the madder I got.
00:56:25Because this show was fucking outstanding.
00:56:28It was maddening.
00:56:29These people were fucking holding their stomachs.
00:56:30My son was slapping his knee.
00:56:32Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
00:56:34I'm like, well, nigga, I do this too.
00:56:42Kevin says, good night.
00:56:43The crowd goes crazy.
00:56:44And then everyone starts walking to his door.
00:56:47And the lights come on.
00:56:48And then my son is just standing there looking at an empty stage.
00:56:52People are pushing past me.
00:56:54And nobody's recognized me.
00:56:55And I'm like, man, this place fucking sucks.
00:56:58I said, come on, son.
00:56:59Let's get out of here.
00:57:01And then my son looks back at me.
00:57:03And he says, dad, please.
00:57:05Please, I have to meet him.
00:57:06I was like, oh, my God.
00:57:10So I took him backstage.
00:57:11I've known Kevin for years.
00:57:13But can you believe I was scared to knock on his dressing room door?
00:57:17I almost said, I said, son, I haven't seen him for a long time.
00:57:21But I, and one of Kevin's goons opened the door.
00:57:30Hey, what's up, Dave Chappelle?
00:57:31What are you doing, man?
00:57:32It's good to see you, brother.
00:57:33What you doing in this area?
00:57:34This is a terrible area.
00:57:36Yeah, actually, I live around here.
00:57:37Listen.
00:57:43Is Kevin here?
00:57:45My son just wanted to meet him real quick.
00:57:47Well, I don't know, because Kevin's about to eat dinner.
00:57:49And just then Kevin came around the corner to see who it was.
00:57:52What?
00:57:53Oh, shit.
00:57:54What's up, Dave?
00:57:54Come on back.
00:57:55I was just about to have dinner.
00:57:56I don't know if you guys ate, but you're welcome to join me if you'd like.
00:58:00And then my son pushed past me some cold shit.
00:58:02He goes, actually, Mr. Hart, we haven't eaten in several hours.
00:58:13Man, Kevin took us into his back room.
00:58:15This guy had a fucking spread.
00:58:17It was Tuesday night.
00:58:18This motherfucker was having Sunday dinner.
00:58:20It was steaks, chops, corn with butter all over it.
00:58:24My son was eating all fast, embarrassing.
00:58:26I was like, slow down, son.
00:58:27Then I looked over in the corner, and there was a box, custom-made jerseys for the local team.
00:58:46Each one was hand-stitched, and on the back, they stitched on the K-Hart, on all of them.
00:58:53Kevin saw me staring at that box, and he went over and grabbed one of them jerseys.
00:58:58And he walked right to my son.
00:59:01He said, hey, little man.
00:59:03I want you to have this.
00:59:05And my son was like, thanks, Mr. Hart.
00:59:07This is when I got mad.
00:59:08He goes, if your father ever makes you mad, put that on.
00:59:11And he walked back.
00:59:12Oh, that was some cold shit.
00:59:23Then I realized, I looked up what Kevin made on Google.
00:59:25I couldn't believe that shit.
00:59:27Kevin is the first comedian that a Drake song could be about.
00:59:32Kevin could walk around his house and sing all me, and the whole song would still be true.
00:59:36You know how much money you have to have to tell a girl to shut the fuck up?
01:00:06I have quiet, please money at best.
01:00:14I'd have to take a loan out for shut the fuck up.
01:00:18Shut the fuck up.
01:00:19That's Jay-Z money.
01:00:21And Beyoncé got, no, you shut the fuck up.
01:00:34Let's not forget.
01:00:35Let's not forget.
01:00:36I've never met Bill Cosby, so I'm not defending him.
01:00:39But let's just remember that he has a valuable legacy that I can't just throw away.
01:00:45I remember that he's the first black man to ever win an Emmy in television.
01:00:48I also remember that he's the first guy to make a cartoon with black characters where their lips and noses were drawn proportionally.
01:00:54I remember that he had a television show that got numbers equivalent to the Super Bowl every Thursday night.
01:01:02And I remember that he partnered up with a clinical psychologist to make sure that there was not one negative image of African Americans on his show.
01:01:12gave tens of millions of dollars to African American institutions of higher learning and is directly responsible for thousands of black kids going to college.
01:01:29Here comes the kicker.
01:01:39You ready?
01:01:39Here's the fact that I heard, but having confirmed, I heard that when Martin Luther King stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and said he had a dream, he was speaking into a PA system that Bill Cosby paid for.
01:01:53Do you understand what I'm saying?
01:01:54Do you understand what I'm saying?
01:01:55Do you understand what I'm saying?
01:01:56Do you understand what I'm saying?
01:01:57The point is this.
01:01:58He rapes, but he saves.
01:01:59And he saves more than he rapes, but he probably does rape.
01:02:04Thank you very much.
01:02:05Good night!
01:02:06Good night!
01:02:07Good night!
01:02:08Good night!
01:02:09Good night!
01:02:10Good night!
01:02:11Good night!
01:02:12Good night!
01:02:13Good night!
01:02:14Good night!
01:02:15Good night!
01:02:16Good night!
01:02:17Good night!
01:02:18Good night!
01:02:19Good night!
01:02:20Good night!
01:02:21Good night!
01:02:22Good night!
01:02:23Good night!
01:02:24Good night!
01:02:25Good night!
01:02:26Good night!
01:02:27Good night!
01:02:28Good night!
01:02:29Good night!
01:02:30Good night!
01:02:31Good night!
01:02:32Good night!
01:02:33Good night!
01:02:34Good night!
01:02:35Good night!
01:02:36Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I forgot.
01:02:40The fourth time I met O.J. Simpson.
01:02:48The fourth time is not the funniest time, but it was the last time I'd see the juice.
01:02:53For some reason, I was at the Kentucky Derby. It's a very long story.
01:02:59This is right after I quit Chappelle's show in spectacular fashion.
01:03:06There was a party hosted by Michael Jordan, and every athlete I've ever admired was in that room.
01:03:15Yes.
01:03:17And then I saw a familiar face by the bar, standing there, drinking alone.
01:03:22It was Chris Tucker.
01:03:23Now, you have to remember, at this time, we were both technically missing.
01:03:30And we went over, and we're talking with one another, and motherfuckers were amazed to see us together.
01:03:38Seeing me and Chris Tucker at that point would be like seeing Bigfoot riding a unicorn.
01:03:44You wouldn't believe that's what you would say.
01:03:45And then, through all the gawkers, a familiar face pushed to the crowd.
01:03:53Here he was again.
01:03:55The juice.
01:03:58He had his camera ready.
01:03:59He was like, Dave, Chris, good to see you guys.
01:04:02Hey, come on, guys.
01:04:03Let's all get together for a picture.
01:04:05And at the same time, me and Chris were like,
01:04:06No.
01:04:09Can't do that.
01:04:13Sorry, Juice, my career's too flimsy to survive a picture with you.
01:04:19That's the end.
01:04:20Good night.
01:04:20Good night.
01:04:23Good night.
01:04:36One last thing.
01:04:45Before you go, I just wanted to acknowledge, for the real comedy fans, we can't not acknowledge it.
01:04:51We lost a fucking juggernaut in comedy this week.
01:04:55So I'm just shouting out the family and friends of Gary Shanling.
01:04:58Much love to you guys.
01:05:00My sincerest condolences.
01:05:03And for the hip-hop fans in the building,
01:05:05put two fingers up in the air.
01:05:09The tribe called Quest and my man Fight Dog.
01:05:12May he rest in peace forever and ever.
01:05:14Thank you for that beautiful music.
01:05:16Good night, everybody.
01:05:17Thank you.
01:05:21Two left.
01:05:23Two left.
01:05:23Hands up.
01:05:24Hands up.
01:05:25Two left.
01:05:26We're going to do this for five.
01:05:27I need another guy to rock with me right now.
01:05:29Can I kick it?
01:05:31Yes, I can.
01:05:32Can I kick it?
01:05:34Yes, I can.
01:05:35Can I kick it?
01:05:36Yes, I can.
01:05:37Oh, go on.
01:05:38Go on, then.
01:05:39Can I kick it?
01:05:41To my tribe that flows in layers.
01:05:43Right now, Fife is a poinsetia.
01:05:46At times, I'm a studio conveyor.
01:05:48Mr. Dinkins, would you please be my mayor?
01:05:51You'll be doing us a really big favor.
01:05:53Boy, this track really has a lot of flavor.
01:05:56When it comes to rhythms, Quest is your savior.
01:05:58Follow us for the funky behavior.
01:06:01Make a note on the rhythm we gave you.
01:06:03Feel free, drop your pants, yack your hair.
01:06:05Do you like the garments that we wear?
01:06:08I instruct you to be the obeyer.
01:06:10A rhythm recipe that you savor.
01:06:13Doesn't matter if you're minor or major.
01:06:16Yes, the tribe of the game, we're the player.
01:06:18As you inhale like a breath of fresh air.
01:06:20He manufactures it.
01:06:21I take a note on the rhythm
01:07:17...
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