- 3 months ago
Max Headroom S2E1 - Academy
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00:00this is edison carter coming to you very much live and direct on network 23 carter's the best
00:07known reporter we have on the air he satellites globally where's all this stuff from brice the
00:12components of carter's mind oh my max my max people translated as data it's computer generated
00:21whatever it is it looks like edison max max headroom max he's a computer generated person
00:28based on you
00:58you burn
01:05you burn
01:17this is like red yeah
01:27this is like red yeah
01:41red
01:48red
01:51dome if it's not loud it doesn't work
02:00It didn't work.
02:08Are you tired of complaints about sagging buns or flat and naughty little muffins?
02:14Then this next product is just for you.
02:17And our first 23 callers will receive absolutely free this beautiful time in Netflix.
02:25I don't know how you can watch that dribble.
02:27One of my little pleasures makes me happy.
02:30If you want the real thing for the right stuff, Zitzack Muppet is it.
02:35And the packaging is perfect as a soiree purse.
02:43You know, this home shop shopping show is great.
02:48From start to finish, it's just sell, sell, sell, sell, sell, sell.
02:52At last, a show with no, no, no commercials.
02:56Go away!
02:59Reg!
03:00Max is ruining my program.
03:02Good!
03:04Honestly, someone at Network 23 ought to do something about him.
03:12Reg.
03:14Reg, come here.
03:16Reg!
03:17Reg!
03:18Reg!
03:19Reg!
03:20Reg!
03:21Reg!
03:22Reg!
03:23Reg!
03:25Oof!
03:27Johnny, what is it?
03:29Look.
03:32Well, that's not Max done.
03:36It's those zippers again.
03:38They must have a hell of a set-up.
03:40Zipping in the network transmissions takes a lot of power.
03:42Well, they're ruining my shopping.
03:45Takes a lot of nerve as well.
03:53How are they doing this?
03:54Well, you see, they hack into our satellite transponders and they hijack our frequency.
03:59Ashwell, Lauren Means, how are they cracking our security?
04:03Oh.
04:04They flatten our ratings every time they zip us like that.
04:07Look at those figures.
04:09Shopping spree TV is diving.
04:12Viewers won't stand for this.
04:14This has got to be stopped.
04:15This is dangerous.
04:16If they can break into our carrier that easily, nothing's safe.
04:19Our bank accounts, our medical records.
04:21Never mind that.
04:22What about ratings?
04:23I've already alerted Bryce Lynch.
04:26He's been trying to track them for some time.
04:28He was a hacker himself, you know.
04:30Bryce Lynch on view phone, Mr. Cheviot.
04:37Ah, Bryce.
04:38Did you get that last zipping?
04:40Of course.
04:41I've isolated the satellite they're hacking into.
04:44Now, it wasn't easy because they hacked our security.
04:47Bryce, just the conclusion would be fine.
04:50The conclusion, Mr. Cheviot, is that they are extremely good, but not as good as I am, naturally.
04:59Would you like to watch my end game?
05:01He thinks this is a game.
05:02He thinks everything's a game.
05:05Don't you, Bryce?
05:05Yes, I often play chess with a .23 computer.
05:11And I often beat it.
05:14Here we go.
05:15Would you like to watch?
05:15You got it.
05:32Well done, Bryce.
05:33Uh, I think there's a little air.
05:46Can you hang on just one minute?
05:47Okay.
05:48There's your target.
06:10That's it, Mr. Cheviot.
06:11You've got your zipper.
06:13Let me have security.
06:22You're tuned to big-time television, where music is the brandy of the dance.
06:29So, let's pop the cork on this.
06:31Hold on, dumb Nick.
06:55He just walked in.
06:56When you see what that explosion did to the people in that city, you'll know why they call it a breeder reactor.
07:02Edison, it's Dominic.
07:03Blank Reg has been arrested.
07:08What happened?
07:09Metro cops.
07:10They said he was signal-zipping.
07:12Reg?
07:12That's crazy.
07:13That's way out of his league.
07:15Reg asked me to call you.
07:17Edison, you've got to help him.
07:19Where are they holding him?
07:20Metro jail 42.
07:23I'm on my way.
07:23I'm on my way.
07:26I'm on my way.
07:56Credit, too.
08:06Now, just tell me the truth.
08:08Were you zipping into Network 23 transmissions from big time?
08:12Do me a favor, girl.
08:14There's not enough powering up bus to zip up me trousers, never mind a network satellite.
08:18I don't think you understand the severity of this charge.
08:21Network zipping is a prime offense.
08:24Sir?
08:25Sir?
08:26I understand one thing, darling.
08:29Someone's trying to frame me.
08:31And when I find who, I'm going to unilaterally murder the swine.
08:35Watch your threats.
08:37We are being monitored.
08:38Now, we might have a chance as long as you aren't a recidivist.
08:42Me?
08:43No way.
08:44I can't even spell it.
08:46You don't have a criminal profile?
08:48That's right.
08:50Of course I don't.
08:52Edison, you've got to get me out of this.
08:54Someone is setting me up.
08:56Right up.
08:56All rise for the most highly rated judge.
09:01Please approach the bench.
09:22Your Honor.
09:23The network has reason to believe that an indictment of first-degree zipping should be brought against this defendant.
09:29Counsel for the defense.
09:31I move for dismissal on the grounds that the network has no first-hand corroboration that my client committed this crime.
09:37He's a blank, Your Honor.
09:39Blank?
09:40In that case, he's beyond my jurisprudence.
09:43Video court.
09:44But you haven't evaluated my floppy disk.
09:47The charges stand.
09:49We've got to pick a court date.
09:59Would you care to do the honors?
10:00No thanks.
10:02All yours.
10:14I play Grateful Dead on Wednesdays.
10:17It only gives me one day to prepare your defense.
10:24You believe me, don't you, old son?
10:27Yeah.
10:28You didn't.
10:30You couldn't and you wouldn't.
10:32The question is,
10:35who did?
10:35How's Rage?
10:53Oh, he's pretty angry, all right.
10:55What do you got?
10:56Well, Bryce coordinated the targeting for that raid.
11:00It seems he had a problem and it switched from mid-set, which is very strange.
11:04Can it be switched?
11:06Yeah, it could, but why?
11:09Okay, the SACCAM program produces a lot of temporary files.
11:13Then discards them.
11:15All those bits and pieces go into the Purge directory, which is a sort of electronic trash bin,
11:19which the system's operator empties at the end of the day.
11:22Everything ends up in there.
11:24Discarded files, bits and pieces of video outtakes, messages.
11:27I'll see what I can find.
11:33Praying, Bryce?
11:35No.
11:36No need, huh?
11:38No.
11:39Oh, good.
11:40Oh, good.
11:41Game of chess?
11:44No thanks, Max.
11:46Oh, you can be white?
11:48No thanks, Max, really.
11:50I'm thinking.
11:51I'm evaluating a recent strategy.
11:54I know.
11:58Did it work?
11:59What?
12:00Switching the coordinates.
12:02How on earth did you know?
12:04I happen to be flip, flip, flip, flitting about the mainframe,
12:08and I just watched the show.
12:12You won't tell.
12:14Will you?
12:15These files write over themselves a lot before they're thrown away.
12:25I'll get the computer to extrapolate it for us.
12:34Now, those are the coordinates of the target.
12:37But look, they switch and give us another set.
12:40What are the new coordinates?
12:41All right.
12:45Big-time television.
12:50What are the original coordinates?
12:52I'm beginning to get a very nasty tingle in my spine.
12:55Well, that's good.
12:56Probably means a story.
12:58It's not nice to eavesdrop, Marty.
12:59It's not nice to falsify evidence, either.
13:02Let's have the coordinates.
13:05My God, it's ACS.
13:07The Academy of Computer Sciences.
13:10That is a story.
13:11Network 23's computer whiz kids zipping their own channel.
13:14That's a story, all right.
13:16Yeah, I get your point.
13:17A bit, um, sensitive.
13:20Sensitive?
13:20You can say that again.
13:21All right, uh, go to ACS.
13:23Lay some story on them.
13:24See just what's going on.
13:26Bryce Lynch on line two.
13:27Yeah.
13:30You're a...
13:31It'll be funny to some, like, going back to school.
13:33You're a...
13:34What?
13:35We both know something else about ACS, don't we?
13:40Yes, we do.
13:42It's where Bryce came from.
13:44I've got a problem.
13:45Listen up.
13:46I have a great idea.
13:47I just told Bryce to go with you.
13:49You see, he'll be able to talk to the kids,
13:50help you subvert the little geniuses.
13:54What's the matter?
13:55What is the matter?
14:01Well.
14:02Well, what?
14:03Well, well, as they said to King, King, King Charles I on the scaffold,
14:08are you, are you, are you going to go quietly?
14:10Or do you need a push?
14:12To ACS?
14:15Or he asked me to.
14:16I have to help Edison.
14:17What could I say?
14:17I have no choice.
14:18Of course, of course you have a choice.
14:21It's the same one Charles I had.
14:24Exactly.
14:27Will you come with me?
14:31I think I have a problem.
14:51Academy of Computer Sciences' fourth period pod begins in exactly one minute and 3.0 seconds.
15:00Your assignment for this period is to compute ten designs for PZO polymer fingers of a surgical robot hand.
15:08Also, please note that we have distinguished visitors from Network 23 today,
15:12so please show them how courteous we are.
15:17The store is loaded.
15:19You take the first watch.
15:21Look here.
15:22That's me.
15:23Oh, yeah.
15:24You trying to tell me you had sideburns?
15:27Yeah.
15:28Does this bring back memories?
15:30Some.
15:31Most memories are the random retrieval of normally superfluous data.
15:35A waste of real time.
15:37I try to bulk erase mine daily.
15:39Yeah, well, be careful you don't erase all the bits that add up to experience.
15:42Oh, I keep the critical material.
15:44I remember my first undergraduate day here.
15:46It was Tuesday.
15:47It was raining, and I was cold.
15:50Your random recall is almost as good as Max's.
15:53Oh, that's not random.
15:55That was my tenth birthday.
15:56They're separated.
16:10These kids are bright.
16:12They're into security cams everywhere.
16:14I mean, I'm tapping off their illicit feeds.
16:16Which makes you even brighter.
16:17Well, older.
16:18Wiser.
16:19Marry me, Murray.
16:26Announcement.
16:27Nanotechnology pod test results are posted in the submicron lab for your viewing.
16:32Head and siss up.
16:46Does it teach or devour maidens?
16:50Announcement.
16:57Students are reminded not to leave their mutated molecules in their loggers overnight.
17:01Well, we haven't gotten the absolute proof,
17:28but the signals were tracked to this campus.
17:31Naturally, I'm more inquisitive than anything else.
17:34Naturally.
17:35Are you positive about this?
17:37One of your former students did the tracking.
17:39Bryce Lynch.
17:40And he claims to be a genius, so...
17:43Ah, Lynch.
17:44Excellent student.
17:46Single-minded.
17:47Well, ACS students don't make mistakes,
17:50and Lynch was one of the very best.
17:52In his time, of course.
17:56Odd boy.
17:58He never made contact with his parents after he came to us.
18:01They were middle management, you know.
18:06I will remember.
18:08Time's my three o'clock pod.
18:10I'll bring this up after session.
18:12I'm as anxious as you to get to the bottom of it.
18:15Head sysops and pods.
18:17I thought in my day it was headmasters and classes.
18:21Yes, yes.
18:23How times change.
18:24We're all input systems, operators and pod managers now, my boy.
18:28Well, you can't fool an old head, you know.
18:36Settle down, settle down.
18:38Order from chaos.
18:39And now, for your next project, you will each receive a package
18:44containing one floppy diskette, an old-fashioned 888 processor,
18:49and a coat hanger.
18:52With these materials, you will be expected to design a device
18:56to snare Clifford here.
18:58We'll see which one of you can build the better mousetrap.
19:02Piece of cake. Piece of cheese.
19:05Your humor parameters need expanding, Nicholas.
19:08Yes, Stratton.
19:12Can we kill it?
19:14Yes, that is within the bounds of the experiment.
19:17But I'm afraid you'll find that more difficult than you imagine.
19:21Uh, Ms. Partridge?
19:26What are the time parameters here?
19:28You may have until the end of the day.
19:31If there are no further questions...
19:33Yes, Stratton?
19:35What's Edison Carter doing here?
19:38Oh, once again my little code crunchers are getting ahead of their old scysops.
19:42Say hello to Mr. Edison Carter.
19:45Hello, Mr. Carter.
19:48He does look like Max Headroom.
19:51Uh, no, actually.
19:53He looks like me.
19:55Mr. Carter brings a disturbing piece of information.
19:59He suspects some highly illegal signal zipping has been emanating from this campus.
20:05Now, if this is true, I expect the responsible party to report to my office.
20:11Because you are all minors, you will be spared the particular punishment usually afforded adults.
20:17As I am fond of saying, we have our own methods.
20:22Pod just hit.
20:24Well, they seem like a normal bunch of kids.
20:37Oh, yes.
20:38Homicidal rodent squishers.
20:39You really expect the guilty party just to march right into your office?
20:44Of course.
20:45We instill the morality of binary absolutes here, Mr. Carter.
20:48The useful consequence of pure logic is the divine simplicity of a yes-no decision about everything.
20:54What about right and wrong?
20:55I noticed you said responsible party, not guilty.
20:58Oh, gray area is quite useless to a computer specialist.
21:01We don't deal in guilt.
21:03We deal in information.
21:04That is why the appropriate party will be with us shortly.
21:07You will see.
21:08Let's adjourn to my office.
21:09Doesn't this place bring back fun memories, Bryce?
21:18Ah, the sounds, the squeak of trainers on the gym floor, the screech of chalk on gallium
21:25chip, the secret kiss behind the computer terminal.
21:29It wasn't like that.
21:30Why do people get so sentimental about college days?
21:33Because, because for people like Edison, it was a time of giggles, girls, guys, and getting
21:42into trouble.
21:43Not me.
21:44Not yet.
21:46Bryce Lynch is in there.
21:49Well, it's Bryce Lynch.
21:59We got the warning.
22:01Good.
22:02How's your security?
22:03Optimized.
22:04Only the inner circle knows.
22:06What's that?
22:08My computer regeneration project.
22:10Max Hedron.
22:11Ah, yes.
22:12We've heard about that.
22:14Rather primitive.
22:15We are into cross-species regeneration these days.
22:18A little more advanced.
22:22See, see, see.
22:23Seems like a nice boy.
22:26Nicholas rather enjoys his performances.
22:29Talk, talk, talking of performances.
22:31If you're going to get us out of this mess you've got us into, you'll need some fancy
22:36dancing.
22:43What puzzles me is how a former student could have been incorrect about ACS being the source
22:49of the zipping.
22:50Bryce wasn't wrong.
22:52The party who did it just isn't fessing up.
22:55Logically impure.
22:57It would assume that there is a guilty party.
23:01It just doesn't compute.
23:03It would imply a gray area.
23:06Not at ACS, Mr. Carter.
23:09We work with perfect information.
23:12Paradise, huh?
23:14Oh, maybe you've got a dragon in the Garden of Eden.
23:18You mind if I have a look around on my own?
23:23No, no, not at all.
23:25But Mr. Carter, beware the dragon.
23:34How's Fang?
23:36Off his food.
23:37Oh, blimey, that bad.
23:39Now, be sure he gets his ice cream every night.
23:42Yes, I will, but he won't eat it out of your spoon for me.
23:46And big time is off air.
23:50We could go out of business.
23:52He likes chocolate chip best.
23:55If they are zipping to the aura, they're very clever at hiding it.
24:09Apart from the inside of locker doors, the whole place is clean.
24:14Oh, no, it isn't, Edison.
24:16That hardware they've got in there is fully capable of signal-zipping.
24:22Look.
24:25Crafty little devils.
24:26Mm, that's nothing to the rest of the set-up.
24:32Some have perverted little minds.
24:38Oh, good, there's Bryce.
24:39Nice to see you assessing the old memory banks, sir.
24:48Turn down the potentiometer before you close the mic.
24:51I've come to say goodbye.
24:53We're about finished here.
24:54Are your mic security looped?
24:56Of course.
24:57Good.
24:58Congratulations.
25:02We got away with it.
25:04The only thing that can happen to Blank Reg now is some temporary discomfort.
25:08They'll soon find out he hasn't the power to zip, and justice will compute.
25:14Eventually.
25:15You little beast.
25:17Bryce, I don't believe it.
25:20Lots of little girls and boys tricks in the system.
25:22What kind of games did you play, Thero?
25:28Growing up games.
25:29Doctors and nurses.
25:31Yeah, well, there's nothing like a good physical.
25:34Okay, turn left and go straight ahead until you reach the stairwell.
25:38Learn anything that might brighten my day?
25:42Yes, I was quite fast.
25:45At the top of the stairs, turn left and then down the hall.
25:48I must remember to try and catch up with him.
25:50As a specialist.
25:52But of course.
25:54Now I want you to lift the nose of the statue.
25:59Pardon?
26:01You lift the nose, you flip the switch, and the door behind the statue opens.
26:05I'm afraid Bryce has been a very naughty boy.
26:11I wonder what you tweaked to close it.
26:20Well, Bryce.
26:21I wondered what had happened to you.
26:22What you up to?
26:23Sneaking a smoke or zipping a network?
26:24Madison, how did you get in here?
26:25I think we'd better go have a little talk.
26:27Oh, and try and remember.
26:29I was a kid once, too.
26:30I wish you hadn't kept anything from me.
26:31Well, I was a kid once, too.
26:32I wish you hadn't kept anything from me.
26:33Well, I was a kid once, too.
26:37I wish you hadn't kept anything from me.
26:38Like what?
26:39Your record.
26:40But he hasn't got a record.
26:41He's a blank.
26:42Previous criminal activities.
26:43They can't have any files on me.
26:44I've been off the records for years.
26:45The network police ran a computer investigation.
26:46I was a kid once, too.
26:47Oh, and try and remember.
26:48I was a kid once, too.
26:58I wish you hadn't kept anything from me.
27:00Like what?
27:01Your record.
27:02But he hasn't got a record.
27:03He's a blank.
27:04Previous criminal activities.
27:06They can't have any files on me.
27:08I've been off the records for years.
27:10The network police ran a computer investigation.
27:12They say the probability is you committed these crimes.
27:16Oh, probability.
27:17Yes, Dominique.
27:19If the probability computes,
27:21and in cases where there's no evidence,
27:23they work on the probability.
27:25Well, I expect it saves everybody a lot of work.
27:28It's not going to save you, Reg.
27:31You compute.
27:32And the punishment for network program zipping is terminal.
27:42You put together pieces of my SACCAM sequence from the purge directory?
27:52Most of it.
27:53The computer did the rest.
27:54And I gotta recode that SACCAM program to wipe out all the files before dumping them.
27:59We saw how you altered the target from ACS to big time.
28:06Computer enhanced files.
28:08Illegally obtained.
28:09You can't use that against me, Edison.
28:11That's inadmissible evidence.
28:12We don't want to use anything against you, Bryce.
28:14We want to help Reg.
28:16So should you.
28:18Why?
28:19Because you were putting him in very serious danger.
28:22Bryce, I'm getting angry.
28:24Then stop.
28:25It's quite unnecessary.
28:26Blank Reg didn't zip our transmissions, right?
28:28You know he didn't.
28:30Why did you do it?
28:31I mean, why Reg, of all people?
28:33I had to make a quick decision.
28:37I had to protect ACS, didn't I?
28:39I don't believe it.
28:40An emotion.
28:41A decision, Edison.
28:43I simply selected the closest option that would achieve that goal.
28:46Now, Blank Reg couldn't be proven guilty.
28:49It's an optimum solution.
28:55What about right and wrong?
29:00Non-empirical concepts.
29:02Don't you understand?
29:03The network court wants to make an example of someone.
29:06And Reg is it.
29:10Network courts.
29:11Our courts.
29:13All we have to do is rearrange the information.
29:15As long as no one finds out about ACS.
29:22Bryce.
29:23Stop treating people like machines.
29:25You can't rearrange information which is evidence.
29:29Grow up.
29:36Okay.
29:37Okay, so you were right.
29:38He is an obstinate little child.
29:40Where are you going, Edison?
29:42Cheviot's office.
29:44Maybe I can get him to fix things with the network court.
29:47You're just like Bryce.
29:48What?
29:49Fix things with the court.
29:50I mean, what about Reg?
29:51I care about Reg.
29:52What about justice?
29:53You don't need to fix it.
29:54He didn't do it.
29:55But how do we prove he didn't do it?
29:56Bryce is right.
30:01We can't use the information you accessed.
30:04And we can't testify for Reg.
30:05As 23's employees, our evidence is inadmissible in 23's court.
30:10Unless Bryce helps.
30:14Reg is in very real trouble.
30:16Well, I'm going to go and see Reg.
30:18I mean, there must be a way of proving he's incapable of zipping from big time.
30:22If Bryce won't help, I will.
30:33Why are you smirking at me like that?
30:35Me?
30:36Smirk?
30:37It's not in my pro-pro-program.
30:39I thought you were on my side.
30:41It's not a quest-quest-question of sides anymore, Bryce.
30:45Except for the right side.
30:47I'm uncharacteristically confused.
30:49I'm used to logic, not opinion.
30:51The thing is, you're a bit like me.
30:54Except we've got different bits.
30:56Sometimes I think I could use some legs,
30:59and right now I think you could use some conscience.
31:02Which file is it in?
31:04Think of yourself as a human program,
31:06and that bit of you has developed a glitch.
31:09Developed a glitch.
31:11Everyone keeps lecturing me these days.
31:13That's why I'm just talking to you about getting blank Reg released.
31:22I know.
31:25Yes, sir.
31:26That's right, sir.
31:27We dropped off through here.
31:29Leave the truck around the loading dock.
31:31Yeah.
31:32If you told your lawyer about your criminal profile,
31:34she might have been better prepared to defend you.
31:37I told you, Dom. I didn't know.
31:39How could you not know you had a criminal profile?
31:42It's something called the Career Capability Malfeasance Program.
31:49CPMP.
31:51It's the program that matches blanks with unassigned profiles.
31:55It compares the crime template to the personality template.
31:58And if it matches, you're assumed guilty.
32:01Criminals can blank out their identities,
32:03but they can't get rid of their criminal profile.
32:05Are you saying there are more criminal profiles than there are criminals?
32:09Precisely.
32:10If a blank is arrested now, they run a CPMP on him.
32:14If the computer says the probability is high enough,
32:16it's considered a match.
32:18So that isn't really your profile?
32:21That's what I've been trying to tell you, blimey Dom.
32:25Isn't science wonderful?
32:27Oh, Reg.
32:28Yeah, wonderfully inhuman.
32:30We're gonna go to 23.
32:32Our only chance is to get Murray to authorize this as a story.
32:36Template matching isn't justice.
32:38It's just administrative convenience.
32:41Administrators, button pushers.
32:44Hold on, Reg.
32:46As they say, the last resort of the innocent is always publicity.
33:06Nicholas!
33:07We need a real-time conference.
33:12What's tickling your synopsis?
33:15Now look, my day zipping used to be a good hack.
33:18But things have changed.
33:20It's a criminal offense now.
33:22And by trying to protect you and ACS,
33:25I'm in conflict with my own network.
33:28So?
33:29Flatline the project and submit a report to your sysop.
33:34That's not a winning option.
33:36You're a minor.
33:37They won't do anything to you.
33:39They'll dump me from the academy, Bryce.
33:41Look, as long as nobody says anything, nobody gets in trouble.
33:45Blank Reg does.
33:47Who?
33:48That guy?
33:49He's just an old blank.
33:51But he didn't do it.
33:52We both know that.
33:53That's irrelevant.
33:55Is this what happens when you have to work around computer illiterates?
33:58You're really not compiling this, are you, Nicholas?
34:01You did it.
34:02Blank Reg didn't.
34:04Facts!
34:05Give me credit, Bryce.
34:07I've got it all worked out.
34:09I'm sure your procedures are impeccable.
34:11But you're using the wrong formula!
34:18I remind you of myself.
34:20Should I take that as a compliment?
34:25No.
34:28No.
34:33Calm down, Reg.
34:34I'm sure Miss Keeler is on her way.
34:36If she's late from our trial, I'll kill her.
34:39All homicide threats are recorded for later playback.
34:43There.
34:49Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, sunshine!
35:02Bryce.
35:03I'm at the academy.
35:04I've just had a real-time conference with the zipping hacker, Nicholas.
35:09That's wonderful.
35:10No, it's not.
35:12It didn't work.
35:13I don't know what to do, Theora.
35:15Help me.
35:16What is it?
35:17I just found out who the guest prosecutor is.
35:29Oh, wait.
35:30But he's the front man for 23's You the Jury show.
35:33And the best television prosecutor money can buy.
35:36It's a game show for my life.
35:39Welcome to Network 23's award-winning game show, You the Jury!
35:54This is The Defender, Blank Reds, a pirate TV operator employed by big-time television.
36:03Network 23 is charged with first-degree signal zipping.
36:08These are the Metro cops defending our Blank Reds in the act.
36:12This is the TV pirate's attorney, Shelly Keillor.
36:15Shelly's got her work cut out for her because today's guest prosecutor is the Channel of
36:19Fortune's leading quiz master, Paul Wade!
36:28On the show where the audience decides the verdict, You the Jury!
36:36We'll be back with our first meeting in just a moment, but first, this word.
36:41If you want to do justice to your cooking, try zigzag soy muffin mix.
36:46Tasteless, colorless, and odorless.
36:49The perfect base for every taste.
36:52Don't be guilty if you have no taste.
36:55I know, Mr. Cheviot, but Edison insisted.
36:59All right, Murray. Put him on.
37:05Yes, Carter.
37:07Your network court is on the verge of convicting an innocent man.
37:10That's an awfully serious charge.
37:13Can you back it up?
37:14I can.
37:16But I need you to buy me a little more time.
37:19Are you asking me to subvert the network's judicial process?
37:22Quite the contrary.
37:23I believe the true source of the zipping is not Blank Reg, but the Academy of Computer Science.
37:31God's sake!
37:32Those youngsters represent the distillation of human intellect.
37:35They're the root stock of the future.
37:37Bryce Lynch is a product of ACS.
37:39And Bryce is covering this up by changing the coordinates away from the true source of the zipping.
37:43If that's true, if our own head of research and development is responsible for covering up a crime which costs this network hundreds of thousands of credits, we'll be the laughing stock of the industry.
37:54We could lose the entire zig-zag account.
37:56Mr. Cheviot, couldn't we reschedule the network court, give Edison some time to clean up this mess?
38:03Sir, please. Sir, the accused is Blank Reg.
38:07I'm sorry about Blank Reg. Believe me.
38:10He's innocent. I'm sure he'll be acquitted.
38:13He's only one man.
38:14I have to concern myself with the greatest good for the greatest number of people, which means this entire network.
38:20No, Murray. I won't reschedule.
38:30Better find Bryce.
38:33It's time for killer cure.
38:37Welcome back to You the Jury.
38:39And now, You the Guns!
38:44Thank you! Hello, hello, hello!
38:49Thank you, thank you.
38:50And welcome to the show that puts you in the jury box.
38:55Our first case today involves a charge of zipping against a Blank Reg.
39:01For 1,000 credits, how does your client plead, Ms. Keeler?
39:05Innocent!
39:07I mean not guilty, sir.
39:10Just relax, Ms. Keeler.
39:11Proceed with your opening argument, Mr. Waitens.
39:15Thanks, Bob.
39:17Ladies and gentlemen, the prosecution intends to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Blank, known as Reg, is guilty of network zipping.
39:24But what we're really talking about here is principle.
39:29What we're talking about is the threat to television, to our lives.
39:34We are talking about interruption.
39:36Decent, honest, peaceful, television-loving people cannot watch Shop and Spree without these savage attacks on their viewing freedom.
39:46We have to ask this question.
39:48Are we being too lenient?
39:49When our wives and daughters cannot shop from their own homes in peace, we must ask, is consumerism itself under attack?
39:56Under attack.
40:18Credit for your thoughts.
40:19Save your money, Edison.
40:20You already know.
40:21I don't want to sound paranoid, but, um, I know this place is bugged.
40:30Now we're at a cone of silence.
40:40No one can use drop.
40:42I tried to redirect Nicholas, but, but he's a poorly designed system.
40:49What system?
40:51A system that allows him to be better off by keeping quiet.
40:54I mean, what good is a system if it doesn't work properly?
40:57I hate to be the one to break this to you, Bryce, but life is more than just interactive systems analysis.
41:04Not really.
41:06It's a matter of information.
41:08Once we understand and, uh, correlate our ideas, life will be much simpler, really.
41:13It's a matter of number crunching.
41:16It's not just more complicated.
41:18Life is based on something more than just logic.
41:22It's based on feelings.
41:27So everyone keeps telling me.
41:32Is it difficult to keep your feelings at bay?
41:35No, you can switch them off when they become inconvenient.
41:39It's just that every time you do, you become a bite less human.
41:43But, but what if a microchip failed to work properly because it had to make a moral decision every time it switched?
41:48Okay.
41:50And what if you created an artificial intelligence and it wouldn't work because it disagreed with your principles?
41:57Then you have a choice which is not just a yes-no binary absolute, it's a question of conscience.
42:03Conscience.
42:05Yeah.
42:07Conscience.
42:10Better work that one out.
42:14Look, uh, I really enjoyed this little chat, but I gotta get going.
42:18I gotta go watch a friend of mine go down for something he didn't do.
42:20Well, at least you'll understand that.
42:33So, my little ch-ch-chip-chip off the old mainframe, what are you going to do?
42:38Well, I think I need to rewrite my own program.
42:45Okay, now, moving on to our second round of questioning.
42:50Uh-oh!
42:52That's the flea bargaining buzzer.
42:55Approach the bench, guys.
43:01Now, what we have to do...
43:02According to our rolling audience poll, the blank red should be reduced to random electrons by a margin of nine to one.
43:12This is my first and last offer, sweetheart.
43:14If the blank cops are zipping, I'll settle for life in a day.
43:17I have to confer with my client.
43:19Will she go for the life in a day or try to get the blank free?
43:23Let's ask some of the folks in the gallery what they need.
43:27I understand the offer.
43:28If I confess to something I didn't do, I'll go to prison for the rest of me life.
43:32Stop it. I'd make a very bad prisoner.
43:35They use the phrase random electrons.
43:37I can't spell that either.
43:39It means no.
43:41Conference time's up. Approach the bench.
43:44So, what'll be, Shelley?
43:47We're gonna go for it.
43:49Oh, they're gonna go for it!
43:58Nicholas.
44:02You've been cheating. Nice try.
44:06Cheating?
44:08Loading inaccurate information designed to crash a logic program.
44:11An output bias to produce selective information.
44:14And putting it simply, Nick.
44:16Lying.
44:18We couldn't.
44:20The coordinates are clear.
44:21It really was the big time bust the zipping came from.
44:25Blank Reg must be brilliant.
44:27And, uh, guilty.
44:30Let's watch his sentencing.
44:34Blank Reg, eh?
44:36Fancy being able to zip a live program.
44:39Thrice, you're making a mistake in your old age.
44:43You can't tell one set of coordinates from another.
44:44Huh.
44:46I assumed you guys had learned something since I was here, but it's evident that your generation hasn't the skills nor the system for zipping.
44:53What would you call this, Sam?
44:56Toys for tots.
44:58You're taking credit for Reg's achievement.
45:01You're obviously trying to impress the girls.
45:04Say when, Mr. Lynch.
45:06Nicholas, you're behaving emotionally.
45:08Shut up.
45:11You wouldn't dare.
45:12I, the judge, and you, the jury, find Blank.
45:30I move for dismissal.
45:32Hold it.
45:34Looks like we've got a move for dismissal.
45:36What grounds, Miss Keeler?
45:38Pure logic.
45:39My client, Blank Reg, couldn't possibly have caused a zipping you just saw.
45:43He's here in the court.
45:49Oh...
45:51Dis...
45:52Oh, Dom, that's the first time you've ever had your arms around me.
46:11Already done.
46:13Oh, about your personal hygiene.
46:15Oh, hygiene.
46:22What made Bryce change his mind?
46:24He didn't. He adjusted his parameters.
46:26Think I'll make them any easier to work with?
46:29Never.
46:31Con-con-converts are the worst kind of bigots.
46:34One of yours?
46:36One of my best.
46:37What?!
46:43Oh, my goodness!
46:49One of my best.
46:50My best.
46:51Oh.
46:53Oh, my gosh.
46:55Oh, that's weird.
46:57Oh, my gosh.
46:59Oh, my gosh.
47:00Oh, my gosh.
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