I had the privilege of sitting down with Colin Bartoldus, my former high school global history teacher and a lifelong musician from bands like The Fiction, Saetia, and REDS. We dove deep into the evolution of music subcultures, exploring issues like the perceived loss of authenticity and the lasting societal impacts of 9/11. The conversation blended insightful cultural commentary with personal reflections on finding your genuine voice in art. It was an honor to interview someone who had such a profound impact on my formative years.
Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/jamthemdown
https://linktr.ee/theeandymorales
https://www.youtube.com/@theeandymorales
https://sites.google.com/view/theeandymorales/
The Podcast's Sponsor: https://www.instagram.com/wepreferpupsnj/
Follow Colin:
https://www.instagram.com/colinbartoldus/
Follow Saetia:
https://www.instagram.com/saetianyc/
https://linktr.ee/saetianyc
Follow REDS:
https://www.instagram.com/redsismean/
Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/thebandreds
#jamthemdown #podcast #saetia #colinbartoldus #punkrock #findingyourvoice #september11th #music #mentalhealth #screamo #screamo
Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/jamthemdown
https://linktr.ee/theeandymorales
https://www.youtube.com/@theeandymorales
https://sites.google.com/view/theeandymorales/
The Podcast's Sponsor: https://www.instagram.com/wepreferpupsnj/
Follow Colin:
https://www.instagram.com/colinbartoldus/
Follow Saetia:
https://www.instagram.com/saetianyc/
https://linktr.ee/saetianyc
Follow REDS:
https://www.instagram.com/redsismean/
Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/thebandreds
#jamthemdown #podcast #saetia #colinbartoldus #punkrock #findingyourvoice #september11th #music #mentalhealth #screamo #screamo
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00it's such a long long story but make it to start the episode um so my global history teacher is
00:06part of a band called satia and he also he used to be part of a band called the fiction and now
00:11he's also part of a band called reds and um long story show we reconnected on instagram and here
00:18we are um i'm going to his shows when when i was younger i couldn't go because i was i was underage
00:23but uh it's weird because i'm used to calling you mr bartolins and it's like i'm calling you colin
00:29it's like weird you know yeah it's um it's a little weird on my end too and uh you know i think
00:38the statute of limitations is way over i think uh you know you're due to call me colin at this point
00:43so yeah yeah man so wow dude um thank you so much for doing this man no thank you for having me man
00:52no no doubt no doubt man um i don't even know where to begin but yeah high school was kind of
00:58a rough time for me but you were one of those people that you know made it easy for me in
01:03places i didn't have it easy you know so thank you for that because you know when it comes to music
01:08when it comes to getting inspiration you know you were a really big part of that you know and i can't
01:12forget that you know so thank you for that yeah thank you thank you i've really you know been teaching
01:20for i think this is my 26th or 27th year um so it's always nice to to to hear that you know especially
01:30from someone who's you know full-blown adult themselves now you know um so i i mean i remember
01:36your class very very vividly um you know uh you know school was much smaller at that point so it's
01:43a pretty small class and you know it was uh you know definitely one one of the ones that stood out
01:49early on so yeah i know man it's crazy because like culture was so different back then and i'm
01:56just thinking like damn bro like how so much has changed you know music has changed just just the
02:02overall surroundings has changed and it's funny because i was looking through some stuff one day
02:06and this is when i was still you know social media and all this other stuff and um it's all crazy
02:13because i used to always think i would go through my little basket i'm like damn you know i wonder how
02:16he's doing you know and today i found you on instagram and here we are but yeah man you know what else
02:22i found and you're gonna laugh at this but i found the um chat book oh wow oh that's awesome bro like
02:34dude this is game changer right here man oh my god we look so young in that picture
02:43it's so crazy man because i still have these like i still have this book man i'm just oh that's truly
02:50awesome this was yeah 2004 man that long ago yeah it's um yeah so if your listeners uh uh just so
03:01they understand um yeah uh juan was i'm sorry andy was always on my attendance list he was juan but now
03:10now i know he's andy but um yeah andy uh you know has always been writing poetry as long as long as
03:16i've known him you know since you know freshman his freshman year of high school and um you know i
03:25i have some experience like doing my own like um like zines and comics and stuff like that um and
03:31you know coming from like the hardcore scene has always been very into like you know just
03:37you don't need an audience you just do something because you love it and like the crafting of it so
03:42it's like you know this kid really loves to write poetry and like you know i remember you would
03:48perform it at assemblies and stuff like that god which uh yeah it took a lot of guts um but um yeah
03:57so so we just put together a poetry book uh and uh you know i drew a cover for it and uh we just you
04:05know would like photo big photocopies when uh you know my principal wasn't looking and then uh
04:12yeah so we had a a little little press run of that and you know it was just great because
04:18like to me it's like one of the most important lessons of punk or hardcore has always been just
04:25like you know like don't wait like just do it yourself right you know and um yeah beyond like
04:32trying to teach you about history you know uh i think you know try to instill that lesson that
04:38like you know you don't need to wait till you know someone else decides you're worthy of enough
04:44to do something if you have this passion and you just do it and uh so that's all i'm i'm that's awesome
04:50that you still have that that's cool and it's so interesting because i'm just looking i mean i had so
04:56much stuff you know like i still had the records you gave me of the fiction album you know i still
05:02had the retrospective of when i was happy i got to got i got everybody to like in the band to sign
05:07it so i was oh yeah that's right to me was like amazing you know um you know like i've been to
05:14shows before you know before satia but i feel like when it came to punk rock specifically um that
05:20was kind of like satia was that key you know that introduced me to these other bands like the germs
05:25and minor threat and you know oh you know rancid all these other bands and i'm just like you know
05:31it's it's the culture that i'm in love with you know it's like it gives me that you know yeah i
05:36believe in god but i also love punk rock and it's like no but i can be myself and i don't have to care
05:41what anybody thinks yeah it's it you know it's funny they say because like all the bands that you
05:50mentioned you know you got into because station is usually the other way around you get into
05:55to minor threaten the germs and then later get into uh more recent stuff but uh so i'm pretty honored
06:02uh to be a part of that going in reverse but uh yeah um i think one thing that's been really nice
06:10about um i've said this before but like one thing that's been really nice about kind of coming back
06:16into um playing with station again uh has just been seeing the ways that in some ways the scene is
06:24very similar to what i remember um when we were active the first time but um it seems at least
06:31from from our vantage point it seems to be much more like inclusive and um welcoming um less less
06:38gatekeeper-y than it was like when we were around um because you know there's definitely
06:46you know as welcoming as it could be there there are also definitely people that are like this is punk or
06:51this is not punk or this is hardcore this is not hardcore like you know uh you got to be straight
06:58edge or you can't be straight edge or you know my goodness right stuff like that that you know it's uh
07:06it's kind of cool and like you know um when when you were my student right um at the time i was playing
07:15shows in in the band of fiction and um you know in new york like the scene was still very very white guy
07:23like oriented you know um and i mean obviously there are people that that didn't fit that but
07:31like generally speaking that that was much more the exception and so and most i'm sure you remember
07:38like most of your classmates were not into any kind of rock oh yeah everything was dude i remember
07:45back in school people used to make fun of me because i was listening to that and and and back
07:50your boys and in sync and rock music i was into a puddle of mud and and pv you know system over die
07:57people used to make fun of me for that but i'm like yo but like i'm sorry i don't like hip-hop i don't
08:02like r&b like that i just i can't get into it i just really could you know and i feel
08:07like and i feel like with with music that's not that it's more of a intimate connection because
08:14those that's like especially um rock you know because there's different kinds of rock music of
08:19course but like with rock music i know you can have moments that it's very intimate that's personal
08:25with you i feel like with hip-hop and r&b you can't really get that all the time you know it seems
08:29like the central theme is always similar if not the same but with rock music or just anything of that
08:35nature it's more intimate right you think about allison chains when they did the mtv unplug that
08:40was very intimate you can't really get that in r&b and hip but you just can't you know right yeah i
08:46mean i think i could be wrong i'm not i'm not the biggest hip-hop head so you know i'm sure someone
08:54out there is gonna take me to task for anything i say about the subject but um but i feel like
09:02i feel like i feel like with rock music um like you know i'm a i was born in the 70s so like i really
09:12came of age in in the 80s and rock music in the 80s like the or mainstream rock music was pretty shitty
09:19um like um i know there are people that that love these bands but i i was never into like hair metal
09:28bands um like i love thrash metal and death metal and stuff like that but the more like you know
09:35singing about chicks and you know partying and stuff like was it was my it wasn't really my thing
09:42um and that was like the mainstream and to me like that was the opposite of intimacy that was just like you
09:47you know you're playing a giant arena and trying to sell beer or something like that yeah but but if
09:54you look at the other side of 80s music it's some of the greatest music ever created and like the the
10:01indie rock scene and the hardcore scene and punk scenes like created some of the i mean you mentioned
10:06some of the bands earlier but like these seminal bands that that were just doing amazing things and
10:12and in some cases you know like the what people consider emo usually trace that lineage back to
10:20you know bands in dc um during the mid 80s uh like embrace and rights of spring being the two
10:27like biggest examples and they were they were they were really trying to be intimate i think with hip-hop
10:33i feel like and once again i'm sure i'm gonna get killed for this but you know it's just my it's my
10:40opinion um that when you were in high school like early 2000s hip-hop mainstream hip-hop to me was just
10:50not interesting at all i i couldn't get into it but yeah yeah go ahead similar to rock in the 80s if you
10:59dug deeper there were there were underground hip-hop people that were doing really amazing things
11:07but i think you know as always i mean it's mainstream for a reason right then the whatever's in the
11:13mainstream is going to catch more um attention and i don't really listen to modern hip-hop at this point
11:22uh mostly not because it's bad or anything it's just mostly i i only have so much bandwidth and you
11:30know um yeah rather listen to an old like you know miles davis record or something you know but like
11:39um but i'm curious if like like what what i do here like on the radio or whatever i'm just like i i mean a
11:47i'm not the audience i'm an old old man so like i'm not the audience but like it doesn't attract me
11:53but i'm i bet you and i'm sure many people could school me on this there there is a scene somewhere
12:00that is doing far more interesting things than what i hear on the radio oh no of course 100 yeah because
12:06a lot of people don't realize too like a lot of hip-hop artists from like you know like 80s to 90s
12:13they started underground first and then eventually became mainstream because there are some exceptions
12:18that i do like like biggie for example you know he was rapping but he was talking about real life
12:24stuff he was talking about struggle and how yeah he lived in the projects and now my friends don't have
12:28to live like that now we're you know pretty much like you say about gatekeeping uh he wasn't like that
12:34he was like if i'm making it we all gonna make it i feel like nowadays people don't really rap about
12:40that kind of stuff anymore it's just to me it's just a bunch of gibberish i don't understand
12:45that's what it comes down to i don't know if it's just me being old because i'm only 40 but
12:52yeah it's i mean and once again i i don't unfortunately i don't think it's only hip-hop i
12:58just think most musical genres go through these like stagnant phases where at a certain point it's
13:05yeah the people like all the innovators like do it out of a love for whatever they're creating and
13:13out of like almost like they need to create right and the focus is on that and the focus on like a
13:22wider variety of things and then you know like we live in this capitalist society that kind of like
13:28homogenizes everything it just makes because people realize all right if i do this right like biggie
13:35it's amazing and what he like what you're saying what he was rapping about was just like kind of
13:42real life things but then like you'll get a bunch of people like oh well that's selling so now i'm
13:48gonna try to do like my own copy of that instead of coming up my my own thing and then eventually
13:56everything kind of sounds the same and you really need people that you know art really works at its
14:05best when money is not the goal you know like we all need money to survive and you know you know god
14:14knows like if if i could make money off of playing music exclusively i mean make a living um playing
14:22music exclusively you know i probably would have done that but like you know when you don't have to worry
14:28when you're not depend dependent upon that for your livelihood um it allows you to just like
14:36fuck around and and come up with something and accidentally come up with something brand new
14:41you know and but if you're chasing the dollar just like in anything it's it's it's not going to be quite
14:49as innovative usually right no that makes sense and it seems like a lot of spaces is like that too
14:55right because i like based on what everything you were saying like i thought about this idea like even
15:00in the poetry community too and and even the poetry community goes through this a lot i haven't really
15:06been in that community for a hot minute but one common theme and it looks like it happens in a lot
15:10of communities not just poetry that people would do stuff because it's cool well it's cool so let me just
15:18do that right like you said you know biggie was doing a real authentic thing and then everybody
15:22else started doing because it was cool oh this is sell so let's just do it because it's cool
15:26but what people don't realize that there's a realness there's a rawness that you're not really gonna get
15:32when you're just copying somebody else now you can get inspired by somebody else but when you're
15:38copying the same exact thing as somebody else i feel like it's not and you can see it i mean like
15:43someone that really truly understands and listens to music a lot i think you can see
15:47right through that i think yeah yeah more more times than not um and you know it's like going back
15:56to this idea of intimacy i mean there are there are moments i'm like you know with biggie where
16:03they're it's almost like like emo right you know so to borrow a term um and or even like i mean
16:12not not not a big fan of uh his later incarnations but like on on those first couple of kanye records
16:21like there there are moments of like genuine like um like opening yourself up to you know an audience
16:28that you know isn't always known for being you know welcoming of big feelings like that and um
16:34um and but then when everything starts sounding the same and like you're you're you're you're copying
16:43the look or or the sound but not like the spirit of it right then or or not trying to put your own
16:50spirit into it then yeah it's just not quite as interesting and and all genres do that hardcore
16:55is definitely you have been rife with this um when satia was around um first time it's kind of a
17:04weird time uh it's kind of a transitional period in hardcore scene where uh in the 90s uh so we so
17:14satia started in 97 right and we broke up in 99 so in the early mid 90s hardcore or at least the
17:22the scene that satia would eventually become part of was um extremely political um extremely like diy
17:31like very like people would have fights over whether you should have barcodes on your records and stuff
17:35like that like you know lord yeah it was really it was really intense and like lots of um you know
17:42environmentalism and veganism and um uh anti-racist action and stuff like that and i think
17:53by the time satia broke up the the tide was kind of turning the pendulum was starting to swing the
17:59other way and not that not that people were becoming like you know uh like fascist or anything like that
18:05but it went into this very like ironic style oriented music and it was a similar thing you would have these
18:14bands that you know were kind of like it's gonna sound awful but like the biggies of their scene right
18:23like that we're doing something new and interesting they had a very specific look so like
18:29most of these bands came from from uh san diego um so the one that really comes to mind is the band uh
18:36swing kids who are amazing and they they had a very like um like um like kind of jerky style of music
18:47um and they they dress they all had people joke called spock rockers because they kind of these like
18:54straight black hair short bob haircuts and like they would dress real nice and and then they were
19:01amazing i mean their discography is one of my favorite like hardcore records ever um but then
19:08you had a billion bands that were kind of aping that style and so you know there were bands that
19:15came out of that that that were were pretty cool and then there are lots of other bands that were just
19:20like yeah you saw you know this person wearing you know uh dull bottoms and a white belt or you know
19:28and the black hair so now you're doing that and it just i remember by the time seisha broke up you know
19:34we broke up right before i started teaching in 99 and i think the combination of kind of getting fed up with
19:42um kind of like what i thought like to me hardcore or the the type of hardcore that we played and
19:51where the scene we were part of like there was a hopefulness to it and a sense of like we can try to
19:57make this world a better place um and like you know or even if we can't we can at least make sure that
20:04our community is is a better place like an alternative to you know what else was going on in the world
20:10but then by the time by the the late 90s early 2000s i just got really fed up because i felt like all
20:18those all those kind of promises and and high ideals started at least in my mind started kind of sliding
20:25by the wayside may couple that with me you know like i entered i became a teacher for for a number of
20:32reasons but one of the reasons was how can i try to i mean this is going to sound corny as hell but like
20:39how can i try to like make things better like do a job where i don't hate myself for what i'm doing
20:46and try to make things better and a lot of the ideals and kind of assumptions i had you know
20:53partially just being like you know idealistic kid but also and i being an ideal just a kid that grew up
21:00in the hardcore scene um all of a sudden i kind of get hit the wall of reality with teaching so it's
21:08like this double whammy of where i was like kind of my first year of teaching was really rough and um
21:15not necessarily because the kids were rougher or anything like that but it's just i was not prepared um
21:21um and um you know most teachers will say their first year is their worst um so i i just remember
21:31getting very kind of bitter at the time and by the time i started the fiction um like my if i read
21:40those lyrics it's like man i was an angry angry guy and you know i like it definitely you know
21:49because i saw a big chunk of like people that i thought were far more idealistic not necessarily
21:58putting their money when where their mouth is or was you know and so it's you know and part of it's
22:06just like me being an asshole and thinking like you know like because you know i'm a teacher that
22:13somehow that that that means i'm doing all the work that i could be doing when no one else is doing
22:18anything and that's clearly not clearly not true um but it's i i just remember like there are
22:28definitely bands i i really liked from the late 90s early 2000s but then for every band that i found
22:34that i liked from that scene at that time there were probably dozens that i just not a fan of yeah i mean
22:42and i think it really came down for a lot of them like you know intention like why why are we here why
22:49are why are we why are we coming together to play and speak to each other um like what's what's the
22:57point of this right is it is it to try to step up to something else or is it you know because you know
23:04this is our community and like what what else do we have to say that's new and interesting wow damn
23:11no everything you're saying you kind of speak in my language because everything you just said that's
23:16pretty much how i kind of feel about the poetry community because it's gotten to the point because
23:22i i joined the scene maybe in 2018 and this was on instagram and then the more you know and i had i feel
23:28like those were like the best times but then once the pandemic hit and then everybody was going live
23:34because there was nothing else to do and again no one wanted to be alone yeah that but once i say 2022
23:402023 went through a weird transition that you know and i kind of blame social media for this because
23:46there was the the the monetization there was that idea of oh you could actually write a lot of books and
23:54live off that and it'd be cool because you know what there was atticus there was rupee
23:58car and all these people that were writing books and then they became this ghoul like oh my god
24:06everybody knows who they are and it's like now everybody wants to do the same thing because oh
24:11well rupee car did it if um if atticus did it then it's like oh i could do it too and that's when i feel
24:19like it started to get very very toxic and it turned me off and i think in that same way you were saying
24:24about the punk scene at that time in the 90s it's just like that stuff turns you off and it's like
24:30damn this kind of makes me not want to do this anymore like right now i kind of feel like you know
24:36and people have asked me it's not that i hate the community but it's so many things happened to me and
24:42around me that kind of got me turned up to the point that i've started i don't want to say i hate the
24:47poetry i'm more like i dislike it at the moment because it's like i'm not interested right and it
24:53sucks because i i went through this whole because right now i'm going through this whole thing like
24:57i want to do poetry again but it's like i don't know if it's something i want to do right now you
25:02know like i'm having fun with the podcasting thing you know so we yeah i was gonna say when you say um
25:09uh whether you want to do poetry are you still writing or is it more just you don't want to but i'm
25:14just not do yeah like like i don't perform anymore i don't um i kind of stepped away from
25:19the open mic stuff i used to do my own shows i used to go to open mic like last year was perfect
25:24right because there were certain niches of the community that i was still with you know that was
25:29still good but even like but one thing me and my friend stephanie was talking about that's also part
25:35of the community who i still keep in touch with to this day the more things change the more things stay
25:39the same and it's like okay you see like because there's different niches in that community and
25:46there was one particular niche that me and my friend had gotten a lot of bull crap from and even
25:52though that part we've been way far from that part but then there's these other niches that okay this
25:57was good but then there's but but and even within certain niches of the community certain aspects of
26:04that niche started to deteriorate and it kind of turned me off and i'm just like damn like because
26:09i feel like when we do stuff like that people forget why we were doing this in the first place
26:16why we were even creating these platforms to read people's poetry or to do open mics virtually and in
26:23person like i feel like people forgot all about that and i blame kind of social media with the whole
26:27monetization crap too and you know all these people because i'm pretty sure all those people who you
26:32you know okay put it this way everybody wants to be the next allen ginsburg everybody wants to be
26:36the next atticus and rupee card i'm just like okay so because they went on david letterman and and all
26:42this stuff now you want to do it too it's not that easy and i'm pretty sure they do other stuff besides
26:47the poetry but you don't want stuff like that yeah and it's the thing is like you want to be the next you
26:56you know it's uh like definitely i mean there have definitely been people that have inspired me and
27:05you know i said man i wish i wish i could do that or you know um i mean like literally picked up a
27:11guitar because of you know like metallica and slayer and anthrax and bands like that um but at a certain
27:20point it's like yeah like if you if you're if you're really in it right like you have to come
27:26up with your own voice of some kind right and and like i always kind of joke that like um you know
27:37you know if you play guitar instrument you know you try to do like try to copy someone else's song
27:44and then like you screw it up and then wow now i have my own song and then like you start pursuing
27:49this different sound that you didn't intend to and uh and i i i if you've read my lyrics you'll know
27:57i'm not much of a poet but like um i would imagine it's very similar you know when it comes to to being
28:03a writer it's like even if you're you know like i feel like if you're really an artist even if you try
28:09to ape someone's style even just to get the ball rolling like you know if you have a voice it will
28:15come out and like it might come out of the mistakes of not being able to to ape that person quite so
28:22well and then all of a sudden it's your voice right right because i can't like i remember my first
28:29episode i did say that you know i can't 100 get mad at the poetry community because it is through the
28:34poetry community i found my love for content creating i found my love for for podcasting
28:39so when i wanted to restructure pretty much i'm in the restructuring rebuilding phase right now
28:45as far as podcasting because now this is more like i'm just doing this for me i love talking i love
28:50having conversations i love just talking to my friends and why not just have a good conversation
28:56just talk you know and yeah intrigue some ears you know what i'm saying so i i that's why like like
29:02i made a list of people i wanted to invite i said i gotta invite colin i gotta get him on man
29:07but i will say that um you know i've always found a sense of belonging in different communities but i
29:14feel like when it comes to punk rock like i'm slowly finding my footing you know um i remember the
29:21well it was garwood new jersey when i i think that was the first show that i ever went to
29:26with with satia and um was that the one with alex oh my god the spells i forgot the name of the band
29:34um stress spells yes yes yeah they are so good aren't they yeah that was like yo like i was so intrigued
29:45because you see like because because everybody because i'm the kind of person like when i see
29:50bands i always look at every member of the band i'm like okay see they all have for the most part
29:56probably has different philosophies but if they could put that all together to create this song
30:00it's like look how look at the beauty to come out with yeah same way you know and then even the
30:06um even when i went to the uh the ball um was it the bowery ballroom that was actually my first time
30:12going there and um to see you guys there too and uh i remember texting you when medicinal was playing
30:19i was like yo that was sick man just being out kiddie i was chilling man you want to talk about um
30:27yeah medicinal is awesome but you want to talk about i mean those guys are all you know they're old
30:32like me uh and you want to talk about a group of guys that are like the most welcoming welcoming and
30:40friendly and just like super stoked for whatever anyone's doing it's those guys uh they're just like
30:49a lot of fun to be around and you know they've been doing doing if it's not medicinal all the bands
30:55they've been doing for for years um uh are just uh amazing and those guys i can't speak highly enough
31:03of those guys yeah i agree uh is his name is matt right the lead singer yeah matt matt messina yeah
31:10and he runs a tape label called uh uh sunken temple records which has put out some cool stuff and uh
31:19yeah they're they're all like sweethearts and uh uh uh you know and vinnie their drummer is just on
31:25like definitely the best drummer i've ever seen in person uh and such a sweetheart about it so
31:32oh 100 man and it's like even that night and it's so funny too because on my last episode i did
31:37with my friend keith he's the dog walker guy but i kind of mentioned something that happened
31:42during the distinals um and this is what i love about like because to me i look at it as oh
31:47this could definitely happen at a punk rock show can this happen on a regular concert no but
31:52the funniest thing happened right so i go in the balcony i look for a spot there was a table next
31:56to me right so i see a bag a plastic bag and there's these two cups of hot sauces that was just
32:04there and i'm like okay they were sitting there left and these two guys came in they were talking about
32:10glass jaw like the van i said oh yeah potential later tonight yeah sure and then um so they just
32:18look at the hot sauce he said you know what something something told the guy oh um let's just
32:22leave this right here how about that let's just leave it here you never know we might need it tonight
32:26i'm just like what the what yeah i'm not really sure what that means but yeah i didn't know either
32:33and then all of a sudden you know the bands are performing when they got to this happened during
32:38medicinals um when they were performing um so everybody i guess they had to use the bathroom
32:45whatever the case is so he said oh i got you said they take the hot sauce and they would put the hot
32:50sauce in whatever spot they were standing in oh they're gonna hold a spot for you and this was going on
32:55all night right so then um so the funny that's really weird yeah that sounds like okay sure you
33:03know i had a broken lager i'm just chilling whatever i'm like um sure and then hey bro we got you i'm
33:09like where me i'm just i'm just enjoying it like okay sure so then they're doing this and they're like
33:17passing it around checking the phone so i'm like damn i gotta use the bathroom but like i'm in this one
33:21corner of the balcony right so to me i'm like oh man it's such a good spot i want to lose it so i said
33:28oh my god i can't believe i'm doing this so i look at the guy next to me i said hey can hot sauce save
33:34my spot he's like i got you brother so they take the hot sauce they put it on the floor they move the
33:40table so that way they don't they make it impossible for anyone to take the spot oh i go in the bathroom
33:46come back and i was like oh guys thank you so they take the side yes thank you hot sauce and then
33:52everybody's passing it around so so that's people so people started throwing the hot sauce all over
34:00here then they're just throwing it and then one dude i guess when he wants to go give it back he
34:04overshot thing and if it went over there oh my god oh wait what just happened and then this one dude
34:16like the guy that was next to me was like yo can somebody fast i mean somebody can't hear you like
34:22what i'm like wait that's not coming back that's we're done that's just not gonna happen so this is
34:29during the distal's performance and oh my god oh we're not and i'm just like cry laughing because
34:35i'm like feel bad feel bad for the person uh on on the ground floor that got hit in the head with uh
34:42yeah hot sauce no so lucky lucky for lucky for us no one got hit but there were people looking like
34:50people are trying to enjoy the music they're doing their thing they're doing all this and then the hot
34:54sauce just like ah man but that was definitely a funny moment and i'm just like you know i look
35:01back now and i was talking to my friend keith about it he said did you imagine something like that what
35:05happened during i said no i did not imagine something like that because i thought i was gonna
35:09just see everybody having a good time which we did and to see that happening i'm just like this is like
35:14the most funniest thing i've ever seen in my life well i think you know like i feel like at its best
35:23you know uh punk shows or hardcore shows like yeah it's the type place where like you know i don't
35:31know you you don't know me but we both know this band or we're both here to see this band and you know
35:37that that's good enough for at the very least a couple hours we're here that's good enough to
35:42yeah i'll save your spot i don't know you but i'll save your spot with my hot sauce you know it's like
35:46oh it's you know especially in a world where you know it's not to get down but it's increasingly
35:55becoming a darker and darker place yeah no and i don't mind talking about it because it did it
36:00did bother me you know that's like what happened last week um it did bother me it it kind of i felt
36:06scared a little bit because you know i started reevaluating myself like damn maybe i should kind of
36:11watch what i say even though i'm not trying to disrespect anybody but yeah it makes you question
36:15a lot you know because i feel like damn but if that's happening then i feel like damn like you're
36:22pretty much saying i don't have a right to say whatever i feel like and then i have to be fearful
36:28of something happening you know what i'm saying and these are the thoughts that are going through
36:30my mind but at the same time on the good side of the things i said well i'm just here to tell
36:35stories and this is what we're doing we're telling stories you know and you know what that's more
36:40important to me we're telling stories right i mean it you know from everything i've known about you
36:47over the years and you know from listening to your podcast doesn't have quite the same agenda that uh
36:52mr kirk did so you know there's that but but just like even that aside like you know things got in the
37:00dark and you know and i also think that like you know they're you know you mentioned social media
37:06earlier we're literally on social media right now and it's like it's on the one hand you know like we
37:13can do this like we're on opposite sides of the uh the hudson river um but we can do this yeah we
37:20could do this thanks to thanks to uh social media and like you know like especially for like bands they
37:28can or can reach out and um to find an audience and stuff like that and all these things that kind of
37:34bring us together but at the same time like actual physical like face-to-face interaction
37:42you know not that it never happens it clearly happens but you know i think a lot of times
37:47you know we kind of fool ourselves in thinking that like you know staring at each other on a screen
37:54replaces is is a one-for-one replacement to actually be in the same room so anything like whether it's you
38:01know these poetry readings um a punk show uh you know going on a football match or whatever you
38:10know it's like these things that bring people together and and you know it's like i used to have
38:18a big soccer fan and when my son was younger me and him had um season tickets to new york red bulls
38:25um so we go to we go to uh harrison new jersey and go to their stadium and and you know we're
38:32we went to almost every home game for like four or five years and what what i loved about it beyond
38:38the fact that i love the sport um is that like you know we had season tickets so we had the same seats
38:44pretty much every time and like you know everyone around us has season tickets and it was just like you
38:49know i guarantee you like if you got all of us in a room doing anything else like you know probably
38:57had nothing to talk about nothing you know we all come from different things different ideas
39:02different jobs whatnot but for you know the two hours or so we're all screaming for the red bulls
39:09you know and they're all getting super exciting a high five and hugging or just like you know kicking
39:15our chairs and screaming and upset you know but we're doing it together and there's you know i'm
39:21i've never been a religious person myself but like to me i'm not above i'm i'm not above this idea that
39:33as human beings like we are social creatures and like you know anything that can bring us together
39:37even if just for like moments you know it's important and you know for me like you know music
39:44has been you know music and sport like soccer has been the kind of things that i look to or have looked
39:51to to to to do that because i'm anti-social enough that like without these things that kind of push me
39:58out i i could sit in my room reading comics and watching movies for weeks on end without interacting so
40:07which isn't all that healthy no i get you but sometimes that's just our escape you know what
40:14i'm saying my escape was music and poetry but a lot of times it was also wrestling but even from
40:19oh that's right i forgot about that yeah and it's like even from wrestling i i could i could get
40:26inspired and write a poem or a piece or just a thought that's something that spoke to me right
40:32because i'm the kind of guy like i'll take something and i'll try to dig deeper into what
40:36it is that i'm reading and people they are a little bit too aware or you're just too deep into something
40:41that you should i said no i like that because i feel like i could learn something from this
40:47and that's a lot and that's really important i mean there there are people that look at the world
40:54at kind of face value or they you know kind of close themselves off to things because of they
41:02they think they already know how everything is gonna go down but when you when you open yourself
41:10up to what can i learn from this or what can you know what is this experience right even if i don't
41:17feel 100 comfortable with it even if um even if something bad even if it's a failure on your part
41:23like right like how like everything kind of shows you something and um and i think there are certain
41:31people and they tend to be you know poets and artists and musicians like they do look at the world
41:40in a way that everything kind of can be used as a metaphor for something or it can can give you new
41:49insight on um something and and that's important we need those people right 100 100 for sure so um
41:58now i did want to ask because i know you talked about like the transitioning from when you started
42:03the band and into when you guys broke up so when you guys got back together i i guess what i wanted to
42:10ask you was um what was the what was that conversation like and how did that transition to where it is
42:18today so um it's funny because i used to joke that you know every time station talked about a reunion
42:27something bad would happen so the uh you showed the the old discography the retrospective cd that we had
42:35um so that came out in 2001 yep there it is and uh and um i remember it was uh sunday in september
42:53uh the five of us met at um uh at this place called burritoville where like we all most of us went to nyu
43:03and burritoville was on second avenue and okay same mark in the city in menhattan yeah so that was like
43:12our lunch spot most of us for the and then they had lots of good vegan options and so we met there
43:19and by that point all through all all of us were new bands and stuff like that um and we you know we'd
43:26still see each other and and some of us were closer than others but this first time in a while that all
43:31five of us were together and we were talking about uh you know you know with the discography maybe we
43:38should play a reunion show like keep in mind it had been two years since we broke up right and uh
43:45so we're like yeah so we the way i remember at least is we left not with anything definitive but
43:51it looked like yeah we'll we'll probably we'll talk again and try to arrange something right right
43:57right then uh tuesday morning hits and that's 9 11. um and then yeah so when that when that happened
44:06you know we i clearly are or you know especially since we all lived in the city uh you know our
44:12thoughts weren't really with like hey man we should really what the world needs right now is a station
44:17room uh so then um yeah it was 2019 um or sorry 2016 um jeremy from uh secret uh from the band touche
44:34amore and uh the label secret voice reached out to billy our singer about doing a proper reissue of the
44:41discography and so he reached out to all of us and then we started like chatting through email and
44:47stuff like that and we were like yeah let's let's do this and a couple of me billy and adam end up
44:52writing new liner notes for um for the discography uh which was good because the ones i wrote in
45:00retrospective were you know as i said before i was kind of being a mean asshole and uh during that time
45:06period and uh definitely came through so this time i got to write something actually you know nice um
45:12but anyway so uh you know we say hey maybe we'd play together and then nothing really came of it
45:20and then 2019 we started talking a little more and then coveted hit so okay even if we wanted to
45:29there's no way we could um but i think you know i think by that point it's one thing if you're not
45:38playing because you don't want to but it's another thing when like you literally are being told you
45:44can't do it yeah also like wait a second this thing that i kind of took for granted and could
45:50kind of come in and out of like now it's not an option you know it kind of fuels that fire a little
45:56more and um we we were talking about it and then uh we got together um at a rehearsal studio in uh
46:06gowanus and uh we are steve our drummer uh couldn't make it so we had our friend chris fill in and uh he
46:15took a photo of it and we played we played the first song on the album um i think two more and it was
46:26just like old times like um and like like literal chills and uh adam who runs our who plays guitar for
46:38us and runs our um instagram page like put like just a little clip of the feedback of us doing the
46:45feedback going into uh um we call it the french song uh notre long like my french is horrible but
46:53you know the first on the record the french song but uh yeah i remember back in high school yeah
46:58i mean oh the french song i was saying no train and he's like just okay the french song yeah yeah
47:04french one it's uh oh my god yeah it's all due respect to french speaking people the language makes
47:11no sense to me but but anyway who came up with the title for that though like oh so all the lyrics that's
47:19uh or 99.9 percent of lyrics are uh billy um okay our singer um and i know adam contributed um some
47:30lyrics and some ideas to uh um uh at least once i i know a song from the firm and um okay he contributed
47:40lyrics and ideas to um he might have done more but generally speaking billy billy's come up with all that
47:47um so he's like an extremely talented i mean i don't need to say this but extremely talented
47:54writer and uh he's in it too man i see him before he's just getting it man that's it like once he's
48:00there that's it he's just in your yeah he's in it man i told him when uh we had our second set of
48:10shows after getting back together like we played five shows four shows in new york and one in philly and
48:16then our next leg uh we played four shows in california and when billy and i i think we're
48:26the last one our flights were the latest so we're the last ones to leave like where we're staying
48:31and i just said to him i was like you know it's like he's he's always been a good front man like
48:36uh you know he's very witty he's uh he's intense but i i feel like he's become an amazing front man
48:45over you know since we we've gotten back together and like yeah he you know like there's a reason why
48:53we don't do like besides the fact that we have families and stuff there's reasons why we don't
48:57do like 30 shows in a row because you know physically um like yeah especially at this age
49:05but it's you know we'd rather do a couple of shows and like really give you know leave it all on the
49:13on the field as they say um then like half acid and and billy you know he's intense like everyone in the
49:21band is like it's they're all really awesome at their instruments they're all really intense and
49:28they're all really like fun awesome people to be around so it's like really like very very fortunate
49:35you know to be in being that's beyond beyond any kind of recognition the band gets is like just feel
49:40very fortunate that you know if any band uh you know then people were to kind of you know be able
49:49to do this i'm glad i'm doing it with them you know word no and i i definitely agree with you
49:54man and you see it too like in the shows i've been with you know that i've seen satia in i see it you
50:00know like you guys are just having fun and just doing you and i love that and you can see it you
50:06can see it in the performances oh thank you i mean i'll never get i mean you know i i gotta talk about
50:11the leg let's be honest you know you wanted to jump but you couldn't i'm like okay that's the
50:17uh you know the little school and it's like it's so funny because on the instagram post
50:22he said you were grounded i'm just like oh my yeah so that was uh that was a bummer um i think
50:31maybe a month before um no it was like two and a half weeks before um we were supposed to play
50:39a bowery ballroom uh i was i was upstate with my family and i jumped off of a rock and that
50:50you know and it's just the way as soon as i landed i was like that's not right and then
50:56so you wasn't trying to jump on purpose it was just like oh snap like like you lost your balance
51:00kind of thing or no no i jumped on purpose i'm just stupid um but so so here here's the deal right
51:09in 2005 i'm in luxembourg with the fiction uh it was like the third or fourth show of a
51:19month-long european tour and we set up on stage it was you know it's like like a riser maybe like a
51:27foot hot and um i needed to grab something uh off the stage so i jump off the stage and when i
51:34land and when i say jump it's like just like a drop you're like i'm not like you know air jordan
51:40or anything like that or like like let's say like the stairs like when you go up to like yeah
51:44like you just jump instead of like stepping and i land and the floor was uneven and so like my foot
51:53landed on that and i turned my ankle like it became the size of softball so i'd do the rest of
51:59the european tour that was my right egg i'd do the rest of european tour like that sucked and then
52:062015 i'm at yankee stadium celebrating the new york red bulls beating uh nyfc and nycfc
52:16our arch enemies um johnny come lately but that's a whole nother story um but uh there's so there's
52:26like a landing and i see a bunch of red bull supporters you know one landing down like jumping
52:33up down the scene so i'm want to be a part of it so i jump off the landing turn my left ankle and same
52:41thing and i was that that one really messed up because i went out for the rest of night and and
52:47it's just bad so that was 10 years after the first incident now in 2025 i have this incident again
52:55so 2035 i'm not leaving the house at all um but yeah but going back to the the thing like yeah so
53:03i turned my ankle uh i couldn't uh so it turns out this time i actually fractured a bone it's
53:11first time i ever did that um yeah so i couldn't um i couldn't stand when we played um which was a
53:19bummer because um you know i tend to move around a lot when i play um and but what really sucked was
53:28the following week where we uh had shows booked in california and yeah i remember you said you
53:34couldn't go right and then another yeah i think was his name also colin i'm trying to remember now
53:40yeah so um adam who lives in san diego he uh
53:45um picked this up with this guy named colin who uh he's a screen printer but he also uh plays bass
53:54and he substitutes for our um our friends band deaf club um and he just so i luckily just as an
54:06exercise over the years i started writing out the sheet music for uh my bass parts okay and part of
54:14me is also like you know what if um uh god forbid something happens maybe we get someone to slot in
54:22um because you know not i mean we're we're not like you know playing you know we're not huge but
54:29like it's if we have to cancel shows um it's a bit of the bigger issue right like you kind of can't say
54:38once we commit it's we really can't say no um yeah so so that actually you know paid off because i had
54:48most of the sheet music written i sent to him i did videos of me playing along uh so he could see
54:55it and then he just knocked it out of the park um and um and the only bad thing i have to say about
55:02him is he spells his name with two l's instead of one but besides that colin colin did an amazing job
55:09and uh we're uh i'm very excited because we're going out to california i think in may and we're gonna
55:17play san diego i'm gonna finally get to meet meet him in person the guys oh that's cool man saying
55:22he's saying he's a sweetheart so it'll be nice to finally meet him that's awesome bro damn that's
55:28so damn that's cool that's what's up man and it's true like like you said like even though yeah like
55:34you don't do a lot of shows like that but when you do do shows you it's like a responsibility you
55:38feel like damn i i i i we have to do it because i think it's good that now you have a backup plan so
55:43that way you don't have to go to that cancel show because when's the next time you're going to be
55:47able to book a show at maybe a venue because not like a concert where they could oh we could just
55:52propone it to tomorrow i know it doesn't work like that well you know especially like you know we've
55:59done a lot of charity shows so it's it's not just like hey people are are expecting to see us it's like
56:07these organizations that you know we we're working with it's like they
56:14you know need them like the whole reason why we're working with them is they could use
56:17the money and if we don't play the show they don't get our supporter money so it's like
56:23and and that's not even counting like all like you know because usually we have to fly to the
56:28places you know it's not just like playing down the block yeah that costs money that i mean realistically
56:34we don't really have like that yeah no it's like despite what anyone might think i mean
56:39like we don't have that type of money so you want to have a sponsor yeah this is where you call it oh
56:46we prefer pups nj uh instagram shoot me a dm um or you could just text me i'll give you my info or a
56:54card i think i have a card on there if not i'll put a card on there and uh we prefer pups nj if you need
57:01your dog walked in um hoboken we're mostly uh uptown so like uh 10th and up okay do like
57:11like a few buildings uh six then around there uh seven six around there uh but um whatever uh yeah
57:20of course uh since 2019 uh dogs are great uh they gotta be you know gotta take care of those dogs
57:29and i know it's hard i know it's hectic with all these freaking kids and work and responsibilities and
57:35you need someone reliable and trustworthy like you said and uh shoot us a message on uh on instagram yeah
57:43oh exactly so yeah like when i went to maryland for the first time to frederick yeah i had to take
57:49a greyhound bus and that was a six to eight hour ride you know and then when i got to baltimore i had
57:54to take a a tiny bus van looking thing to go to frederick because there's no bus that actually goes
58:00straight to frederick you had to go to baltimore and from baltimore you go to frederick maryland
58:05you know but even that that caught that was a very costly trip oh yeah totally it's especially i mean
58:12these days it's uh like used to cost like when i started driving i think it was like a buck 35 a
58:19gallon you know and now it's ridiculous and um you know it's it's very you know moving around any any
58:29anyway whether you're driving yourself uh i bike to work and that's the only way i could really save
58:34money but even then i'm constantly casting flats so like yeah oh i'm paying to get that fixed yeah no
58:40i'm kind of a similar boat because i used to i used to bike ride to work to have an e-bike and
58:45i used to do that too but it tires are messed up then i had a scooter but then that tire got messed
58:49up but that's kind of my fault too because it's like to actually get the maintenance it's like
58:53oh my god cost so much money it doesn't cost money like it it adds up after a while and in my bike right
58:58now my brake is messed up and no matter how many times i fixed it it's like okay i don't know what's going
59:03on so now i'm like trying to figure out okay do i just get a full-on maintenance just pay two hundred
59:09dollars or let's get a new bike so you know so i'm in that crossroads right now you know pun intended
Comments