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@AZIKHAN10
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@AZIKHAN10
FOR FULL MOVIE
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π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh, my neck!
00:00:30Oh, hey! Save the trees! The cicadas are in grave danger. Please read the flyer. Thanks.
00:00:44Paper is trees, dumbass.
00:00:47These things are gnarly. Why haven't we seen these before?
00:00:52Well, you see, honey, these are really special because different species come out at different times.
00:00:58These cicadas, however, they only emerge every 17 years.
00:01:03They reveal their wings. They feed, they mate, and they die.
00:01:07You know, they only exist to do those few things.
00:01:10They're young, on the other hand. They wait under the ground, growing, changing.
00:01:17And then when it's their turn, they'll be back.
00:01:21Oh, Mom! Oh, save the cicadas!
00:01:24What the hell, bitch? Get off the trail!
00:01:26You know what? There won't even be a trail here when this is just some other lawn.
00:01:30Ah, you jerk-faced loser.
00:01:33Ah!
00:01:34Ugh, pitiful.
00:01:36Sorry, Coach.
00:01:37Sorry, Coach. Sorry's about the only word for it.
00:01:41In fact, get back in your stance.
00:01:43Elbow up high like I showed you. Come on!
00:01:48Ugh!
00:01:49Why are you flinching?
00:01:52Because I'm scared.
00:01:54Of what?
00:01:55Getting hit.
00:01:59Ow!
00:02:00Glad we got that out of the way.
00:02:02It stings.
00:02:04Look, Johnny.
00:02:05You've got no balls and you've got no brains.
00:02:10You're letting your whole team down, you know that, right?
00:02:13Yes, Coach.
00:02:14Then why aren't you trying?
00:02:17Oh, because I'm scared, okay?
00:02:21You look at me, Johnny.
00:02:26You listen to me.
00:02:28Because there's going to be a lot of shit in this life that's going to scare you a lot worse than this.
00:02:34And you've got a choice to make, right here, right now.
00:02:37Are you going to be the little boy that runs away?
00:02:40Or are you going to be the man that looks fear right in the eyes?
00:02:44What's it going to be?
00:02:45A man.
00:02:46Speak up, son.
00:02:47What's it going to be?
00:02:48A man.
00:02:50Good.
00:02:51Then you don't ever take your eyes off this ball.
00:02:54You take that fear and you use it.
00:02:57You swing, Johnny.
00:02:58You swing as if your whole life depends on it.
00:03:01You got me?
00:03:02Yes, Coach.
00:03:04Alright.
00:03:10Make sure you keep your eye on the ball.
00:03:12Yes, Coach!
00:03:19Fuck yeah!
00:03:27So is this that new Mexican shit?
00:03:29Does that look like Spanish to you, dummy?
00:03:32Go get the spreader.
00:03:33Yeah, I'll get right on that.
00:03:35Night.
00:03:36You're going to not have a job in a second.
00:03:40And hurry up.
00:03:48Any day now.
00:03:53So is this supposed to keep the grass green or something?
00:03:55That's the idea.
00:03:56Yeah.
00:03:59You going to work?
00:04:00Or are you going to stand there all day with your pants hanging off your ass?
00:04:05It's for the fields.
00:04:06When they cut down those trees.
00:04:08It penetrates the ground.
00:04:12I'm just going to test it out.
00:04:16Oh!
00:04:18Snap.
00:04:19Watch what you're doing, dude.
00:04:23Fuck!
00:04:24Alright.
00:04:25Spread it out.
00:04:27I need to get some water.
00:04:28Good luck with that.
00:04:50Come on, get back in the box.
00:04:51Get in the box.
00:05:05Alright, Johnny!
00:05:06Suck it, boy!
00:05:07Yeah!
00:05:09Attaboy!
00:05:10Kiss my ass!
00:05:11Yes!
00:05:12Way to hit that thing!
00:05:22Yeah!
00:05:24Coach!
00:05:28Coach!
00:05:30Come on, walk it off.
00:05:31Ooh!
00:05:32Ooh!
00:05:33Ooh!
00:05:34Gross!
00:05:39No!
00:05:40No!
00:06:01Heigh!
00:06:02Son!
00:06:03How was it?
00:06:04I was single!
00:06:05Do it!
00:06:06Justice!
00:06:15I don't wanna know.
00:06:22Let's stopΠΈΠ΄ Shh!
00:06:25No!
00:06:26Salah!
00:06:27Oh, my God.
00:06:57Hey, what's your name?
00:07:00Are you 18?
00:07:07I got this one for fucking your mom, and this one for fucking your sister.
00:07:13Oh, my. Hey, motherfucker.
00:07:15You know who the fuck I am, motherfucker?
00:07:18Get the fucking shit, you fuck!
00:07:27Oh, my God.
00:07:28Oh, my God.
00:07:42Oh, my God.
00:07:42So, I told you not to buy this communist piece of shit.
00:07:55Best thing I could do at the time.
00:07:58That's good.
00:07:59You're gonna need a new timing chain.
00:08:00You're gonna need new spark plug wires.
00:08:02And I don't even know whether all the cylinders are firing.
00:08:05I've got three words for you, Johnny.
00:08:07Chev-bur-lay.
00:08:10Don't sugarcoat it or nothing.
00:08:12Sugarcoat it.
00:08:13$900 just in parts.
00:08:15And that's before labor.
00:08:16And working on these Korean cars, you know you're allowed to lose a finger.
00:08:19Know what I mean?
00:08:21I guess so.
00:08:22I mean, something we can work out or what?
00:08:24Work out.
00:08:25The last time we went through this, the car sat on the back lot for a month.
00:08:28This time it's cash up front.
00:08:32I don't suppose an autographed baseball card might knock a chunk off.
00:08:37Something for the kids?
00:08:39Seriously?
00:08:41Well, I'll be back, I guess.
00:08:49You baby this piece of shit or it's gonna take a dump right in the freeway on ya.
00:08:53I got it, you little geezer.
00:08:58Your legs are nothing.
00:09:03Come on.
00:09:04Come on.
00:09:05Yeah, yeah.
00:09:06Oh, you like those, don't you?
00:09:10All star, alright.
00:09:11All star asshole.
00:09:12This one's for the nosebleeds.
00:09:14This one's for the nosebleeds.
00:09:15What?
00:09:18What?
00:09:21What?
00:09:22What?
00:09:23What?
00:09:24What?
00:09:46you gotta earn it you gotta earn it come on now there we go there we go that's it you're done
00:10:08good girl you're such a good girl you gotta leave already thank you baby who's left and coming up
00:10:17next to the stage you might remember this little hottie from her guest appearances on house md no
00:10:24it's not lupus it's candy come on guys get your hands together for candy
00:10:38baby doll right there off the bat there you go oh hell yeah look at that work here here here here
00:10:48oh my goodness come here baby come here come here bring that sweet ass over here to daddy
00:10:58take it off take it off
00:11:01give her some money man give her some money come on now give it to her give it to her give it to her
00:11:08give it to her i've been saving this one for you
00:11:13easy you know i got 20 more of these outside if you know what i mean
00:11:23huh huh i mean you know what i mean right you know what i mean you know what i mean huh
00:11:33oh oh fuck me oh give me a refund motherfucker you can't do that
00:11:44you just sit there man nothing'll fucking help me what the fuck you want me to do about it man
00:11:53hey buddy you know what i got something that'll make you feel better okay okay okay this little
00:12:01girl can warm you up let's put your hands back together for amber yes somebody call the chb it is
00:12:13amber alert
00:12:15i'm gonna go ice my balls but i'll be back
00:12:27fuckers hope to see y'all tomorrow at our legs and games brunch buffet 499
00:12:34it's nasty
00:12:42it's natural it's like normal
00:12:44it's like it's like it's like greeny and it had a little bit of estrogen
00:12:50but i guess you can say hey cindy see you later not this time
00:12:54what's wrong with that bitch
00:13:02you're early
00:13:07what the hell is this just drive johnny jesus christ babe what the hell happened this time
00:13:13i said just drive we can't even afford to gas up with this sydney
00:13:17fine then i'll walk knock it off
00:13:24what you got it fixed johnny got it looked at it's not the same thing okay
00:13:27i just want to go home
00:13:31you want to talk about it no
00:13:36told randy we'd stop by did you even look for a job today don't get me started babe okay i'm not
00:13:42gonna work at a goddamn sports chalet for ten dollars an hour not gonna happen sure he'll just turn out your
00:13:46girlfriend's a stripper got it not having this conversation what about your half of the rent
00:13:52you didn't have much of a problem spending up the rest of my money did you babe
00:13:55i mean all the auditions hair appointments nail appointments spa days i shipped in i had my gig
00:14:02yeah one gig okay one goddamn gig and shocker the uh call girl with the weird brain disease
00:14:07didn't open up too many doors did it okay keep talking all-star don't even get me started on
00:14:12your fucking macho bullshit all right look i'm going to randy's for a cocktail you don't like it
00:14:18you can uber whatever fine fine fine fine then fine fine
00:14:25fucking seat belt drink piece of fucking shit
00:14:32fuck
00:14:39i think you're right mom kill them off
00:14:59what a shame
00:15:00oh god
00:15:22oh
00:15:28Hello, this is Professor Walsh.
00:15:41Professor Walsh!
00:15:42This better be good at this hour.
00:15:44Can you meet me in a half hour?
00:15:45I have something to show you.
00:15:49It's unbelievable.
00:15:50Who the hell is this?
00:15:52It's Nelson Phillips. I've met you eight times.
00:15:58Whoa!
00:16:07It robed him to death?!
00:16:13Alright, I'm hanging up now.
00:16:16No, no, no! Professor Walsh! Please, please, please!
00:16:19Biology building. In one hour. Can you do it?
00:16:22This better be life-altering.
00:16:28The true strength of these insects is in their numbers.
00:16:39For together the swarm seems impenetrable.
00:16:43But when separated, they become easy prey.
00:16:49Norma Jean!
00:16:50Norma Jean!
00:16:51Oh, that's right. She's at home.
00:16:55My fucking home.
00:16:58But there is a greater threat to the population.
00:17:01For an imposter lies among them.
00:17:04What a bitch.
00:17:06In the form of Africanized killer bees.
00:17:13These aggressive bees, disguised as honeybees,
00:17:16will spread their genes at any cost.
00:17:18Once entrenched, the genetic purity of the region's bees...
00:17:22What the shit?!
00:17:31Holy shit!
00:17:35I fried your ass good, didn't I?
00:17:37Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:39Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:42Hey, is it still happy hour?
00:18:03You squaring up on your tab?
00:18:04Hey, man, I, uh...
00:18:05I'm just busting your balls, man.
00:18:06Come on in, have a seat.
00:18:09Oh, for the love of Christ!
00:18:12Dammit Smelly Bob, I told you not to come in here and stick it up the place!
00:18:16It's free country, asshole.
00:18:18Not in here, it ain't.
00:18:19Your stench has run all my customers off.
00:18:21All I can smell is your giant pussy.
00:18:23I'll show you a pussy!
00:18:27Hey, out or die, dick fuck.
00:18:30We don't smoke marijuana!
00:18:32Get a bandwagon, yo!
00:18:33Get the fuck out!
00:18:39Well, that was the highlight of my day so far.
00:18:41How about you guys?
00:18:42Oh, you know.
00:18:43Just had to hit the old hole-in-the-stall bar corner for a cocktail on our way home.
00:18:47Wall!
00:18:48Hole-in-the-wall!
00:18:50Not funny.
00:18:51What, you're an expert on glory holes all of a sudden?
00:18:53I don't know, man.
00:18:54Make me Manhattan.
00:18:55I'm in head to head.
00:18:56Brave man after Smelly was in there.
00:18:58I'm the one that needs a drink.
00:19:00What'll it be, Cindy?
00:19:02Cosmo?
00:19:03Sex on the beach.
00:19:04Redhead slut?
00:19:05Dragon, maggot!
00:19:08Oh!
00:19:09I tried to tell him.
00:19:11Cosmo's fine.
00:19:12Coming up.
00:19:15Mmm!
00:19:15Do you like that?
00:19:27I don't know.
00:19:28I can't decide yet.
00:19:29Keep going.
00:19:29Oh, yeah.
00:19:33Why are they so huge?
00:19:54What are they doing now?
00:20:03What's the thing up here?
00:20:07Dear God.
00:20:08Swinging doors with your friend and a bar to it.
00:20:13Oh, God.
00:20:13Oh, God.
00:20:14Oh, God.
00:20:15Oh, God.
00:20:15Oh, God.
00:20:15Oh, God.
00:20:16Oh, God.
00:20:16Oh, God.
00:20:17Oh, God.
00:20:18What's going on?
00:20:19Oh, God.
00:20:20Oh, God.
00:20:20Oh, God.
00:20:21Oh, God.
00:20:22Oh, God.
00:20:22I mean, he has to recognize that I'm a dancer.
00:20:50Was a dancer.
00:20:53Whatever.
00:20:53You know what I mean.
00:20:54Not a prostitute.
00:20:55No.
00:20:56I think you did the right thing.
00:20:58Gotta put you first.
00:21:01Yeah.
00:21:02That's what I was thinking.
00:21:04So you can tell Randy and you can't tell me, huh?
00:21:07You're not the listening type, Johnny.
00:21:09You know what?
00:21:09Fuck it.
00:21:10Where's my Manhattan?
00:21:12See what I mean?
00:21:12I mean?
00:21:13I think you should be taking some photographs.
00:21:21Jesus Christ, Randy.
00:21:23You're a fucking artist.
00:21:25Just three ingredients.
00:21:28No cherry?
00:21:29None left.
00:21:30Stole them all.
00:21:33Ah, perfection.
00:21:34Lock the doors.
00:21:40Close the windows.
00:21:40Do it now.
00:21:41Oh, great.
00:21:42We got a live one.
00:21:43Hey, dickweed.
00:21:45Turn around.
00:21:46Out the door.
00:21:47Now.
00:21:49What the fuck?
00:21:50What is that?
00:21:52That is what's out there.
00:21:54Buy the hundreds and they are hungry.
00:21:57Now lock this place down before it's too late.
00:21:59I guess you'd like to hear about a special today.
00:22:02It's a huge...
00:22:04Ugh.
00:22:08See that?
00:22:10That is the pavacus.
00:22:14Cicada normally uses that to drink tree sap.
00:22:17That thing's as big as my arm.
00:22:18Or my dick.
00:22:22Look, Mr. Wizard, this is all real interesting.
00:22:25But you see, I gotta close up.
00:22:27You see, I live in that camper out back.
00:22:29And inside that camper is the newest issue of Busty Malibu Nanny.
00:22:32So, if you don't mind...
00:22:34You don't get it, do you?
00:22:37Hey, man!
00:22:40Oh, yeah.
00:22:42Oh, my God.
00:22:43I just killed that person.
00:22:45Johnny, I just killed that person.
00:22:50These things can fly?
00:22:51It doesn't even have any wings.
00:22:53Wrong.
00:22:57Holy shit.
00:23:10Jesus Christ, babe.
00:23:12My cleats.
00:23:13Cindy.
00:23:16What?
00:23:18Asshole.
00:23:20You have to listen to me.
00:23:21These things are gonna feed, and they are gonna feed hard.
00:23:24Until it is time to meet.
00:23:27A city this size?
00:23:30Buffet is open, Mr. Bash.
00:23:40Ricky?
00:23:41Oh, my God.
00:23:42Oh, my God.
00:23:43Oh, my God.
00:23:44Oh, my God.
00:23:45Oh, my God.
00:23:46Oh, my God.
00:23:47Oh, my God.
00:23:48Ah!
00:23:49Bitch!
00:23:49Who's your daddy now?
00:23:51Fucking fuck!
00:23:52Amber!
00:23:52Get your ass over here!
00:23:54What the fuck?
00:23:55Who's your ass over here?
00:23:56Get over here!
00:24:08I got a punishing now for my boner!
00:24:10Get the fuck out of here, you moron!
00:24:12Shit!
00:24:12It's gonna be alright alright alright calm down officially on lockdown all right everybody just stay calm
00:24:26We're gonna be alright
00:24:37Hey, don't worry about Johnny. He's got what going on right now
00:24:41Plus this whole bug thing, right? It's crazy. I'm sorry. Are you seriously defending him right now after the conversation that we just had?
00:24:50I'm not taking sides. I'm just making sure you're alright
00:24:55I'm tired of being alright
00:24:58I want to be taken seriously. Whoa Cindy. What are you doing?
00:25:02Do you take me seriously Randy as a heart attack? I mean, what are we doing here?
00:25:07Don't you like it? Cindy, I can't
00:25:13Johnny's my bro. He hasn't been since Little League. I mean, I'm pretty sure he's nailed every one of my girlfriends
00:25:19But I just can't do him like that. Do him like what?
00:25:23You're his girlfriend
00:25:25I'm his accessory
00:25:27No, he's okay. He's just going through a rough patch
00:25:32I thought you got me
00:25:34You know?
00:25:35Cindy, if things were different if Johnny were-
00:25:37You know what? Save it
00:25:39You're starting to sound like a liar or a pussy, and I don't like either one of those things
00:25:47Fuck my life
00:25:49Look, I'm no scientist or anything, but I'm pretty sure I'm not filled with tree sap
00:25:56It's not the sap that they want. It's what's in it. It's in all of us
00:26:01All of our spinal fluid contains glucose and sucrose
00:26:05Uh, I don't
00:26:07Otherwise known as sugar
00:26:09Bleh! Sugar!
00:26:10Ah, fuck
00:26:11Fuck indeed
00:26:12Fuck
00:26:13I almost got it from one sucking some bum dry right outside your bar
00:26:16Smelly Bob
00:26:19That doesn't sound good
00:26:21No, no, whoa, hey
00:26:24Huh, Randy's up
00:26:27We gotta get out of this death trap
00:26:33Let's go, let's get her, come on
00:26:36Come on
00:26:36Randy, where are you going?
00:26:37Dude
00:26:38Randy's not leaving here without the old grandpap
00:26:42Oh yeah
00:26:44This might help too
00:26:47What about me?
00:26:49Zap him
00:26:51Seriously?
00:26:52Deal with it
00:27:04I'm gonna need to borrow that
00:27:06Let's go, come on, go
00:27:14Go, go, go, go, go
00:27:16Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
00:27:46Come on!
00:27:48Hurry up, Darkus!
00:27:50Hey! It's raving me!
00:27:52Of course it is! Hold on!
00:27:56Let's go, Poindexter!
00:28:00Am I okay? Get in the fucking car!
00:28:10This is so typical.
00:28:12You see a lot of
00:28:14mutant bloodsucking bugs
00:28:16day to day, do you?
00:28:18Of course. This would happen to me!
00:28:20I fucking hate L.A.
00:28:22Johnny, I want to go home,
00:28:24and I want to go home right now, okay?
00:28:26Sure, babe. Let's go home with all the skylights in it.
00:28:28Let's go there.
00:28:30We should just head for the coast.
00:28:32Get to Monterey.
00:28:34You know,
00:28:36Steinbeck country and all.
00:28:38No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:28:40We don't know how far this thing is spread.
00:28:42I mean, cicadas have a regional cycle.
00:28:44I mean, they could be on this half of the country.
00:28:46A wingspan like that?
00:28:48Alright, somebody just tell me
00:28:50where we're going, okay? We gotta go off these streets.
00:28:52Head for the university.
00:28:54I gotta make a phone call.
00:28:58Is this your idea or the joke?
00:29:00Professor, I'm so sorry. I got held up.
00:29:02Please, please, please, stay
00:29:04inside. It is not safe to be outside.
00:29:06Listen to me, you creep!
00:29:08Wait, what?
00:29:10Oh my god!
00:29:23I got the university.
00:29:24Wait, what?
00:29:26Who is that?
00:29:30The only other person in this town
00:29:32that knew anything about bugs.
00:29:34She's dead.
00:29:36Because of me.
00:29:38Well, that really sucks.
00:29:40Right?
00:29:42Right?
00:29:44You know, because of the...
00:29:52Deal?
00:29:54Nothing.
00:29:56Never mind.
00:30:18What else, Sas?
00:30:20Hey Johnny, I think we're good on flowers right now.
00:30:22Huh.
00:30:23Hey buddy, you gotta get off the street.
00:30:24What else, Sas?
00:30:26Man, go home.
00:30:28What else, Sas?
00:30:34Holy shit!
00:30:35Oh no!
00:30:36Oh my god, what?
00:30:38No, what?
00:30:39What?
00:30:42No more stopping, no more stopping!
00:30:44Baby, it's okay.
00:30:46Oh no!
00:30:48Oh no!
00:30:56Are you sure he's dead?
00:30:58I don't know but I'm pretty sure he's fucked!
00:31:00Uh, hi.
00:31:10It's trending.
00:31:12Okay, at GetOnNinja says, bitches be getting carried away, hell no.
00:31:16We got bars on our windows, let's see these bitch-ass bugs take us in Compton.
00:31:20Uh, run for your life, the army is sealing off the city.
00:31:24Oh shit, we're all dead, hashtag fuck my neck.
00:31:30That's not good.
00:31:32No, we gotta get out of the city.
00:31:35I don't wanna go anywhere anymore.
00:31:38Just let the army deal with it, alright?
00:31:40Look, I'm driving this car.
00:31:42I'm not stopping, I'm not gonna be quarantined.
00:31:44You guys want off this bus, let me know anytime.
00:31:55Please return to your homes, there will be no evacuation.
00:31:58Oh shit, the government's got us under control.
00:32:01I repeat, the government's got us under control.
00:32:04What the fuck was that?
00:32:06We're under attack!
00:32:07San Fernando, get us out of here!
00:32:09Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:32:11We're going down!
00:32:12Oh, we're gonna die tonight, for sure.
00:32:19We're gonna be okay.
00:32:20We'll stay on San Fernando until Sun Valley, we can catch the freeway there.
00:32:26Perhaps not, Mr. Bash.
00:32:31Shit, what's this?
00:32:33Just turn it around.
00:32:35Oh, come on, man.
00:32:36You see what's going on out there, don't do this.
00:32:37Government officials are providing food and water.
00:32:40Now, please get back in your car and go home.
00:32:43Do not approach a barricade!
00:32:47Easy?
00:32:48Easy, easy?
00:32:48Dirty man.
00:32:49How exactly does the army think they can contain this thing, you know?
00:32:53With them being able to fly and all?
00:32:54I just go where they tell me to go, and I shoot who they tell me to shoot.
00:32:58And if you take one more step towards me, that's gonna be you, Beakman!
00:33:01You gotta turn around with that gun soldier.
00:33:07Hey, if I wanted any lip from you, I'd rattle my zipper.
00:33:10Now get back in that Korean shitbox and go home.
00:33:13Buddy, I think you ought to listen to him.
00:33:15You really ought to turn around.
00:33:17I said goodnight, assholes.
00:33:18And don't let the bedbugs bite.
00:33:22Oh, fuck, really?
00:33:24Oh, shit.
00:33:25Get in the car, let's go.
00:33:28This country has failed me!
00:33:30Johnny, drive!
00:33:37I am driving, Cindy.
00:33:38I'm trying to get us the fuck out of here.
00:33:39There must be a hundred of these things.
00:33:41Hey, no shit, Sherlock.
00:33:43How can they just lock us up in the city like this?
00:33:45It doesn't make any sense.
00:33:47The government has a way of containing these situations.
00:33:50Ever heard of the Phoenix Light?
00:33:52The what?
00:33:53Exactly.
00:33:53So the government doesn't want this to look any worse than it already does.
00:33:57Fuck, I don't know.
00:33:58Maybe we can head to Vegas.
00:34:00Either way, I don't want to fucking stand around here and wait to get drained by one of those things.
00:34:03The more we drive these roads, the more bugs we encounter.
00:34:07Shit, I'm all about ideas.
00:34:08We lost the far.
00:34:09There's nowhere to go.
00:34:12My house.
00:34:14Where?
00:34:15Where?
00:34:16It's not far.
00:34:17It's Lincoln Heights.
00:34:18Nice neighborhood, Bill Nye.
00:34:29You own or rent?
00:34:37Right here.
00:34:38Just pull up alongside the curb.
00:34:39Jesus Christ.
00:34:56This is what they're supposed to look like?
00:34:58Indeed.
00:34:59Indeed.
00:35:00That specimen right there is from the exact same spot that this new genus emerged.
00:35:06Something must have mutated them.
00:35:09It's unlike anything I've ever seen.
00:35:12So what if next time they're even bigger?
00:35:14Cindy, hold on a second.
00:35:16What if next time they're even bigger?
00:35:17What if they don't go back underground at all?
00:35:23Maybe it'll be us that have to go underground.
00:35:26Wait.
00:35:27You thinking more 12 monkeys or chud?
00:35:30Thinking chud.
00:35:32Big time.
00:35:33That's gnarly.
00:35:34Yeah.
00:35:35Cannibalism.
00:35:37Folks hungry?
00:35:40Yeah.
00:35:47What the fuck?
00:36:10I'm back.
00:36:11Hey, what the fuck do you want, man?
00:36:12We're closed, asshole.
00:36:14No, no, come on.
00:36:14Come on, man.
00:36:15Look, I gotta see my girls.
00:36:17Are you serious, man?
00:36:19You fucking retarded.
00:36:20There's bug shit all around, man.
00:36:22Get the fuck out of here, man.
00:36:23Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:36:24Are they still here?
00:36:26Are they here?
00:36:27They're hiding out because they're smart.
00:36:28Okay, now get the fuck out of here
00:36:30before I cut off your little shriveled ball sack, fuckface.
00:36:35Forget it, okay?
00:36:36Forget it, then.
00:36:37I don't care.
00:36:47I don't care.
00:36:48Even better.
00:36:53What's up, sweetheart?
00:36:55Looks like you can use a ride tonight, baby.
00:36:58And one is on its way,
00:37:00so you'll have to look somewhere else tonight, buddy.
00:37:02Hey, hey.
00:37:03It's not gonna take me long.
00:37:05Come on, let's go rub one out in the car, huh?
00:37:07Hell no, leave me alone, okay?
00:37:10Hey, listen to me.
00:37:12You are a whore,
00:37:14which means that if I can pay,
00:37:19I can play, right?
00:37:20No, no, ah!
00:37:23What is your problem, huh, you bitch?
00:37:26Oh!
00:37:27Now he's getting fucked tonight, asshole!
00:37:46You all seem...
00:37:47close.
00:37:52Randy and I have been friends since we were kids.
00:37:55I never really had friends like that.
00:37:57The whole bug thing.
00:37:59It's not for everybody.
00:38:02Whatever winds your clock, man.
00:38:05I mean,
00:38:06you seem to really enjoy it.
00:38:10Yeah, I do.
00:38:12Especially when the big events come around,
00:38:14they're so much fun.
00:38:16Not so much when you come home
00:38:18and it's just you.
00:38:21Yeah, I like baseball.
00:38:24Fam?
00:38:25No, I used to play.
00:38:28Oh.
00:38:29I don't really follow sports.
00:38:31No offense.
00:38:34I don't really like bugs.
00:38:36No offense.
00:38:39When I was a kid,
00:38:41my little league coach was like a father to me.
00:38:44I watched him die.
00:38:46That's terrible.
00:38:51Now that's life.
00:38:53Things are going good for a while,
00:38:55then the rug gets ripped right out from underneath you.
00:38:58You know, these days,
00:38:59I'm just trying to get boned as little as possible
00:39:00before I bite it.
00:39:02I can't believe you feel that way,
00:39:03but I mean,
00:39:04you obviously have people that really care about you.
00:39:07Can't trust it, though.
00:39:09Nothing good lasts forever.
00:39:10I lost my mother.
00:39:16Not suddenly.
00:39:18It was her time.
00:39:21It was Lou Gehrig's disease.
00:39:23Whoever that is.
00:39:28Is that her?
00:39:29Yeah, that's her.
00:39:30Yeah.
00:39:33She was my best friend.
00:39:35It was a Manhattan in the bar, right?
00:39:40Yep.
00:39:42Sort of a strange drink for a jock.
00:39:45Life's too short to suck down Bud Lights.
00:39:59Swing any good?
00:40:03That was okay.
00:40:05Not for nothing, but
00:40:07you still look like you got some games left in you.
00:40:10I mean, what happened?
00:40:12I made some bad decisions.
00:40:15But everybody was doing it then.
00:40:18McGuire, Sosa.
00:40:21Shit, I was just a kid.
00:40:23Oh.
00:40:25So it was like that.
00:40:27Yeah, just like that.
00:40:32Game's totally fucked.
00:40:35Well, I mean, at least it's good to be great at something people admire.
00:40:41Yeah, sure.
00:40:46I think we're going to be safe here tonight.
00:40:48I do have a spare bedroom, if you think you'd sleep.
00:40:51Sleep like they're dead.
00:40:53Do you want to wake them?
00:40:54Ah, they look peaceful.
00:41:01Let them sleep.
00:41:04Right.
00:41:04Uh, okay.
00:41:05Well, I'll just show you the room.
00:41:10Show me the dungeon, Buffalo Bill.
00:41:12Cindy, where are you?
00:41:35Cindy?
00:41:36They want the sugar, Johnny.
00:41:53No.
00:41:54No, no, no, no, no.
00:41:58They want the sugar, Johnny.
00:42:00What are you doing, Cindy?
00:42:08They want the sugar, Johnny.
00:42:11You gotta get rid of the bugs.
00:42:12I don't like bugs.
00:42:14They want the sugar, Johnny.
00:42:18They want the sugar, Johnny.
00:42:20They want the sugar, Johnny.
00:42:21They want the sugar, Johnny.
00:42:22Why can't I...
00:42:23No.
00:42:24No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:42:27Ah!
00:42:28Ah!
00:42:39It's coffee, the pot.
00:42:40Oh, God, yes.
00:42:41Tastes like shit.
00:42:44Coming up, Caitlyn Jenner, America's transgender sweetheart, stole our hearts in 2015.
00:42:50Oh, fuck is this news.
00:42:52Looks like we're all gonna have an opportunity to find out with our new Broadway show, Trans...
00:42:56Ah!
00:42:56Oh.
00:42:57Trans that!
00:42:58Now shut up about that shit for five minutes!
00:43:02All I need, five minutes!
00:43:03Well, now we're getting somewhere.
00:43:04All right, listen up, people.
00:43:06Unless you have been living under a rock for the last 24 hours, you know that we have been under attack.
00:43:12And what's worse is our own government has just trapped us here, and this shit is mayhem.
00:43:17They're just blocking us in.
00:43:22I have lost some good people.
00:43:24A lot of us have.
00:43:25We have even consulted through Google, and we have no ever-loving idea what's going on, what these things are.
00:43:35They could be from outer space.
00:43:37For all I know, the federal government stick them on us for legalizing marijuana.
00:43:41So, if any of you have any fucking clue what these things are and why they like to probe the hell out of us, please, safely, make it to the police station downtown.
00:43:57We will be mounting the best attack we can.
00:44:01And while I've got your attention, could you please do me just a little favor?
00:44:05Please stop calling 911.
00:44:08We know what's going on.
00:44:10We're just a little short-handed right now.
00:44:13So, there won't be any fucking house calls on this one.
00:44:18You got it?
00:44:20Stay your asses in the house, stay away from the window, and keep your mouth shut until this shit is finished.
00:44:29Jesus Christ.
00:44:30All right, girly boy.
00:44:31Well, at least there's still somebody at the wheel, right?
00:44:36Dude, what are you talking about?
00:44:37You heard that guy.
00:44:38They're confused, because they have no idea what's going on.
00:44:40They need you.
00:44:44What?
00:44:45No.
00:44:46No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:44:49Surely, someone else will go down there.
00:44:51I mean, this whole thing is going to blow over real soon.
00:44:56Nelson, last night you said the only other person who knows about cicadas is dead, remember?
00:45:10I mean, this whole thing is going to be a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a
00:45:40I would just like to point out what a terrible idea this is. I mean, we would have been fine back at the house.
00:45:47You could save hundreds of that brain of yours, Nelson. It's gotta be worth something.
00:45:51Yeah. I guess I suppose.
00:45:58Fucking dead end. What the hell are we supposed to do now?
00:46:01Just reverse, Johnny. Go down another street.
00:46:05Now. Why'd the car stop?
00:46:08It's stalled.
00:46:10Oh, shit. We have a serious homeless problem.
00:46:13Sidney, now's not the time to talk about local politics. Why don't we focus on the issues at hand?
00:46:17Oh, no, Johnny. Whoa!
00:46:19Oh, shit. Um, out of the car. Run. Now.
00:46:23Hello!
00:46:25Hello!
00:46:26They're over here! They're over here, too! Fucking everywhere!
00:46:41They're over here! They're over here, too! Fucking everywhere!
00:46:44They're over here, too! Fucking everywhere!
00:46:48They're sick!
00:46:50They're sick!
00:46:51They're sick!
00:46:53Ah!
00:46:54Shit!
00:46:55I'm sick!
00:46:56Ah!
00:46:57Shit!
00:46:58Ah!
00:46:59They're before him!
00:47:02They're gonna go.
00:47:03I got you back!
00:47:04I've got your back!
00:47:05Miles!
00:47:06Miles!
00:47:07No, no!
00:47:08No!
00:47:09No!
00:47:10No!
00:47:11No!
00:47:12No!
00:47:13No!
00:47:14No!
00:47:15No!
00:47:16No!
00:47:17No!
00:47:18No!
00:47:19No!
00:47:20No!
00:47:21No!
00:47:22No!
00:47:23No!
00:47:24Boys! These bugs don't get past us!
00:47:36Fuck!
00:47:39Goddammit!
00:47:41Fuck! No!
00:47:50I don't think we're getting in there.
00:47:52Why would we want to go in there? Nobody wants to go in there.
00:47:55For Christ's sake, Sidney, do something with your mouth.
00:47:58It's a stressful time, Johnny.
00:48:07What the fuck just happened?
00:48:12You know, those monsters are filled with liquid sugar.
00:48:16Sugar is flammable, I suppose, with enough force.
00:48:21Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second.
00:48:23Are you telling me that these bugs...
00:48:26...are bombs?
00:48:31Oh!
00:48:32Yep!
00:48:34You mother-looking motherfuckers ain't gonna get me.
00:48:38The police chief!
00:48:39Didn't anybody stay home out of this shit like I told you to?
00:48:42I'm Nelson Phil.
00:48:43Shut up, boy! Help me kill these bugs!
00:48:45I killed these bugs!
00:48:47Whoa!
00:48:48Whoa!
00:48:50Whoa!
00:48:53Whoa!
00:48:54Whoa!
00:48:55Whoa!
00:48:56Whoa!
00:48:57Whoa!
00:48:58Whoa!
00:48:59No!
00:49:00No!
00:49:01No!
00:49:02No!
00:49:03Damn it!
00:49:04Whoa!
00:49:05Whoa!
00:49:07Get back!
00:49:10Alright, motherfucker.
00:49:19Holy shit.
00:49:24I have not seen a hit like that since the bombers jump-jump.
00:49:28Let me shake your head, son. I am happy to meet you. I am a fan.
00:49:31This, uh, here's Nelson Phillips. He's, uh, he's your bug guy.
00:49:38At last! Some good news! Listen!
00:49:41How would you guys like to go to the police station and fight with some real guns?
00:49:46Yeah!
00:49:47Alright, let's go!
00:49:52My dad!
00:49:57This is bullshit! I'm so done!
00:49:58She's right, Johnny. We should just go inside. Nelson said they'd die off anyway.
00:50:03Uh, hopefully.
00:50:04What?
00:50:06Well, just don't hold me to that. You know, I mean, they're also not supposed to be 25 pounds. They're also not supposed to be exploding on impact.
00:50:13Not helping.
00:50:15Let's just go hide out.
00:50:16Hide out?
00:50:18I've been hiding for 10 years. I'm done hiding. You know, in case you haven't noticed, I'm the MVP of killing bugs, so don't puss out at me now.
00:50:25More like the MVP of sucking.
00:50:27You know, at least I have my shot. I don't see you lighting up the silver screen, honey.
00:50:30Whoa. Harsh, bro.
00:50:32Mind your fucking business, Brandy.
00:50:34Excuse me! I could've stayed back at my bar! I don't need to risk my ass for you if you're gonna act like a spoiled dick!
00:50:40You know what? I don't need this fucking shit from either of you.
00:50:44Guys, seriously, can we not do this right now?
00:50:46Why don't you mind your own business if it's not bug-related, nerdbot?
00:50:49Hey. Don't talk to him that way.
00:50:51Oh, real cute. Sticking up for the new boyfriend.
00:50:54Fuck you.
00:50:58Shit, we gotta hide.
00:51:02Alright, try this one. No, no, no. Shit, no. Next one.
00:51:06This one here.
00:51:07Oh, shit. Come on, we're here. Goddammit.
00:51:10I'd get in here if I was you.
00:51:13There! Here!
00:51:15Stuck!
00:51:29You the only guard gnome that lives here?
00:51:31Fuck! My arm!
00:51:33Randy!
00:51:34Oh my god, Randy. That looks really bad.
00:51:36Hey, it's not that bad. We just need to stop the bleeding.
00:51:39Where should I stop,!
00:51:42Hospital! Hospital!
00:51:48You need some bun medicine for that shit quick.
00:51:50I see motherfuckers lose limbs for less.
00:51:55What the fuck is bun medicine?
00:52:01You know, guys, we don't need to do this.
00:52:03I think it's fine. I think it's stopped.
00:52:05Oh, I'm not feeling so hot, guys.
00:52:09Please, just take it easy, okay? Just relax.
00:52:12Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, no, no, don't, don't, no.
00:52:16Andy, don't be pussy.
00:52:23Hey, I'm done, I'm done.
00:52:25Grandpa! Where's the fucking grandpa?
00:52:35Ah, dude, fuck!
00:52:39Addin' the fuck up, Randy. Nelson?
00:52:42No, thanks.
00:52:52Cicadas are gonna be in a full feeding frenzy now.
00:52:55Anyone on the streets doesn't stand a chance.
00:53:05flyingΠΌΠ΅Π½ alleywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywaywayway
00:53:35God damn it.
00:53:46God damn it.
00:53:55What the hell?
00:54:06Must be my motherfucking birthday.
00:54:14Randy, don't pick at that. It'll get infected.
00:54:18Can I ask you a question? Why do you wear the tinfoil hat? You don't seem all that crazy.
00:54:24You wear a tinfoil hat, you can do just about anything and get away with it.
00:54:29Like what?
00:54:31I once took a shit mill to Starbucks.
00:54:33You didn't get arrested?
00:54:35Hell no. You start mumbling shit about microwaves and aliens, the cops tell you to fuck off.
00:54:40Meanwhile, some bitch has to clean up that greasy shit.
00:54:44I was a barista for two years.
00:54:54It's a big feast.
00:54:57The cicadas go to the trees to breed.
00:55:00It's right on time.
00:55:03And he is pissing. Right behind me.
00:55:14Yeah!
00:55:16Get up! Go! Oh my god! Go!
00:55:18Oh my god!
00:55:21Johnny, are you gonna help him?
00:55:23He's a leftover, babe. Up the stairs.
00:55:25Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
00:55:36Where are we going?
00:55:38I don't know, man. How about a room that doesn't have giant fucking windows?
00:55:41It's fucking locked.
00:55:42Cindy, what the fuck are you doing? You PMSing or something?
00:55:55It's a goddamn candy factory!
00:55:57Oh, fuck!
00:55:58I should've stayed at the bar. I could've died to the monkey.
00:55:59I can't desperately leave this room right now!
00:56:12Come back!
00:56:13Ah!
00:56:14Ah!
00:56:15Ah!
00:56:16Ah!
00:56:17Ah!
00:56:18Ah!
00:56:19Ah!
00:56:20Ah!
00:56:21Ah!
00:56:22Ah!
00:56:23Ah!
00:56:24Ah!
00:56:25Ah!
00:56:26Ah!
00:56:27Cindy, where the fuck are you going?
00:56:28We're gonna go back the way we came!
00:56:30Ah!
00:56:31Ah!
00:56:32Ah!
00:56:33Ah!
00:56:34Ah!
00:56:35Ah!
00:56:36Ah!
00:56:37Ah!
00:56:38Ah!
00:56:39Ah!
00:56:40Hey!
00:56:42You like sugar?
00:56:43Asshole!
00:56:51How's that for sweet?
00:56:53Randy!
00:56:56Cindy, are you okay?
00:56:58Yeah.
00:56:59I really wanted to...
00:57:01I really wanted to...
00:57:02I know.
00:57:03...talk to you.
00:57:04I know.
00:57:05You know, I...
00:57:06I know.
00:57:07I just...
00:57:08Why are you the only one who gets me?
00:57:11I mean, I don't...
00:57:13I...
00:57:14Oh!
00:57:15You're alive?
00:57:16I was just saving your girlfriend.
00:57:18Get the fuck outta here.
00:57:20No, Johnny.
00:57:21It's over.
00:57:22I really mean it this time.
00:57:24Okay, we're not out of this conversation right now.
00:57:26There's no conversation to have, it's just...
00:57:28Let's go!
00:57:29Now!
00:57:31Cindy, we just gotta make it through this.
00:57:34But we gotta move.
00:57:35Whatever, you pussy!
00:57:36I'm done!
00:57:37Okay?
00:57:38I don't wanna go anywhere.
00:57:39You'll die in this place.
00:57:41I don't care!
00:57:42I'm so done with dealing with that stupid donkey
00:57:45and I'm starting to think that you're one too.
00:57:47Cindy, we just gotta make it through this.
00:57:49And then you and me, we can run the bar.
00:57:52Together.
00:57:53I need the help.
00:57:54You're just saying that.
00:57:56No, really.
00:57:58It'd be great if the first thing that customers saw
00:58:00when they walked in was...
00:58:02was you.
00:58:03And not this...
00:58:04madness.
00:58:05You mean that?
00:58:07Yeah, I do.
00:58:09Alright, let's go.
00:58:12Maybe we should go back to my place or for the bar even.
00:58:19I mean, we could fight them off for one more night, right?
00:58:21Right there with you, buddy.
00:58:27It's about sad.
00:58:29Thought you were dead.
00:58:30Thanks for sticking around to check.
00:58:32Oh, you're welcome.
00:58:33Death!
00:58:34Oh!
00:58:35Shit!
00:58:36Nelson, go!
00:58:37Ha!
00:58:38Ha!
00:58:39Get in!
00:58:40Get in!
00:58:41Get in!
00:58:42Get in!
00:58:44Get in!
00:58:45Get out of there!
00:58:46Get in!
00:58:47Get in!
00:58:52Get in!
00:58:57Oh my god! I can't even feel my Jansen!
00:59:01Oh, normally I can twitch into my...
00:59:04Oh god! I'm a cripple!
00:59:08Shh! Shh! Shh!
00:59:10You're looking good, okay? You're looking good.
00:59:13We're gonna get you out of here. We're gonna get him out of here, I guess.
00:59:15Johnny, we don't have time for this. You gotta make a decision.
00:59:19Oh, this doesn't happen to me again.
00:59:21You have to make the right decision.
00:59:24Okay. Alright, come on. Come on, you nerd bastard.
00:59:27Come on! Walk, dammit!
00:59:31Fucking help me!
00:59:33Come on, get up!
00:59:34Come on, buddy. Come on, get up.
00:59:37Stand straight, just like that.
00:59:38Okay, easy? Easy? Alright.
00:59:40You're looking good. You're looking good.
00:59:42Okay, we're gonna get out of here.
00:59:44I need you to walk.
00:59:45Okay, I'm the castery. Put one foot in front of the other, okay?
00:59:47One, two, three.
00:59:54Oh! My fucking nose!
00:59:56I'm the castery, you fucking idiot!
00:59:59Oh, God.
01:00:00Oh, God. I'm so...
01:00:01Okay. Okay. Okay.
01:00:03I'm gonna roll you over.
01:00:05Yep, that nose is broken.
01:00:07Tell us what to do.
01:00:09Okay.
01:00:11This kid is gonna head back to the park to mate.
01:00:14Back to the park. Right.
01:00:15The males will call out for the females.
01:00:16Of course.
01:00:17You have to stop them.
01:00:19Your heart is racing.
01:00:20You're the only one that can.
01:00:21Okay, right. Okay, right.
01:00:22Okay, guys, you heard him. We gotta go.
01:00:23Johnny, I...
01:00:25Wait.
01:00:27Yeah?
01:00:28Don't leave me like this.
01:00:30Just relax. We'll come back in the morning.
01:00:32After the bugs are dead.
01:00:34We'll send an ambulance. Everything's gonna be fine.
01:00:36Ambulance?
01:00:38Why?
01:00:39So I can get you in a bag for the rest of my life?
01:00:41Hmm.
01:00:43I don't think so.
01:00:47I've served my purpose.
01:00:48No.
01:00:49You know what you have to do?
01:00:54Mm-mm.
01:00:56I don't even do it.
01:00:58It's actually been kind of fun.
01:01:02Now I know what it's like to have real friends.
01:01:05Buddy, don't make me do this.
01:01:06I can't do this.
01:01:07We need you.
01:01:08You've wasted too much time on me already.
01:01:12Just show me why they call you Johnny Bash.
01:01:15Oh, my God.
01:01:20This is awesome.
01:01:23Okay.
01:01:24Whoa!
01:01:25Seriously?
01:01:25Seriously?
01:01:29I think it's time you guys left.
01:01:33Whoa, Johnny.
01:01:37Nelson, you're a good friend.
01:01:41I'm so sorry.
01:01:43I know.
01:01:45I'm sorry!
01:01:49There isn't a gram pep left?
01:02:05Uh, yeah.
01:02:06Yeah.
01:02:07Uh, one swig, I think.
01:02:09Let's go
01:02:17Fuck
01:02:29Your
01:02:30Warranty
01:02:31Johnny
01:02:38Instead, you bitch
01:02:43Johnny, it's over. They're leaving. We don't have to chase them
01:02:48Johnny, she's right. You can't fight all these bugs alone
01:02:52Look, I'm not proud of a lot of shit in my life, okay?
01:02:55But this is my one chance to turn it all around
01:02:57I might not win any more championships
01:02:59At least I can get a few runs in
01:03:02I really care about you guys
01:03:05Both of you
01:03:07That's why I gotta go alone
01:03:10Johnny, that's ridiculous
01:03:12You guys have a nice life
01:03:14Wait, Johnny
01:03:17You remember that game in Little League
01:03:19When I took that beanball for you?
01:03:21Really, man. That was like 20 years ago
01:03:23There was a man on first
01:03:24Then a man on second
01:03:25And I stepped into the plate
01:03:27You were about to clean up behind me
01:03:29But I had two strikes
01:03:30Not ringing the bell, sorry
01:03:32I knew that I had to get on base
01:03:34For you
01:03:35I was a terrible player
01:03:37But I knew that if I could get you to the plate
01:03:39You could save the day
01:03:41I took a ball to the nuts for you, Johnny
01:03:43I pissed blood
01:03:44But you
01:03:46You knocked the ball out of the park
01:03:47And we won the game
01:03:49I won a lot of games
01:03:50What's your point?
01:03:51You sure can hit, Johnny
01:03:52But not if you don't make it to the plate
01:03:55Get in
01:04:00What are you doing?
01:04:16Get the fuck out of here, you stupid idiot
01:04:18Fuck, we're all dead
01:04:19Get the fuck out
01:04:21Fuck, my neck
01:04:22My God
01:04:28What the hell?
01:04:29It just took his head
01:04:31Why would it do that?
01:04:34Fuck this
01:04:35Go, move, move
01:04:39Oh, they came
01:04:44The rapture came on the iridescent wings
01:04:47I told you
01:04:48I knew it
01:04:49I told you, Lord
01:04:50I knew it
01:04:52Oh, fuck
01:04:53My neck
01:04:54Oh
01:04:56Oh
01:05:22This is the day you got a choice to make. You gonna be the little boy that runs away or you gonna be the man that looks fear right in the eye. What's it gonna be?
01:05:44A man.
01:05:45It's not too late to go to Monterey. The salmon will be running soon.
01:05:52Speak up, son. What's it gonna be?
01:05:55A man.
01:05:56Alright.
01:05:59Now, this is where I want to go.
01:06:22Cindy.
01:06:23Yeah?
01:06:24You were right about me. You deserve better. I'm sorry.
01:06:39Now, Johnny? Really?
01:06:41Yeah, just in case.
01:06:44What's the plan?
01:06:47Get as many of them as we can until...
01:06:51Bro.
01:06:53Look, you guys can help out if you want to. But the second you sense we're losing ground, you run. I promise.
01:07:01Yeah, sure.
01:07:02Yeah.
01:07:05Drive it like you stole it.
01:07:07I would never steal a Kia.
01:07:11It's a metaphor, man.
01:07:13Oh.
01:07:14Okay.
01:07:15I mean, yes.
01:07:16Like I stole it.
01:07:18Always.
01:07:21You guys ready to do this?
01:07:22Let's go.
01:07:23Let's go.
01:07:24Come on.
01:07:25Stay low.
01:07:26Move towards the trees.
01:07:27Come on.
01:07:28Get your ass secure.
01:07:29Let's go.
01:07:30Let's go.
01:07:31Let's go.
01:07:32Come on.
01:07:33Come on.
01:07:34Get your ass secure.
01:07:35Let's go.
01:07:36Let's go.
01:07:37Let's go.
01:07:38Let's go.
01:07:39Come on.
01:07:40Bring it on.
01:07:41Come on.
01:07:42Let's go.
01:07:44Come on.
01:07:45Get your ass.
01:07:46Come on.
01:07:48Let's go.
01:08:04Let's go.
01:08:06Bye.
01:08:07Come on.
01:08:08Come on.
01:08:09Come on.
01:08:10Oh, my God.
01:08:40Oh, shit.
01:08:50Johnny, don't be stupid.
01:08:52We can still get out of here.
01:08:53Frank, I can't do that, Cindy.
01:08:57That building, there.
01:08:58Go now.
01:08:58You'll never make it to the car in time.
01:09:00Come with us.
01:09:01Stay safe.
01:09:02Till morning.
01:09:03Remember what Nelson said?
01:09:05These things die after they fuck.
01:09:07This park's better turned into a goddamn dorgy.
01:09:10Cindy, go.
01:09:11I'll be right there.
01:09:12Good luck, Johnny.
01:09:14Sorry things didn't work out.
01:09:15Between us.
01:09:18Come on, man.
01:09:19Don't do this.
01:09:19These assholes are all gonna die off anyways.
01:09:22So let them all get their rocks off and life goes on.
01:09:24Seventeen years, Randy?
01:09:25Then what?
01:09:27We gotta kill each and every one of these motherfuckers now tonight.
01:09:31For the future.
01:09:32I don't know, man.
01:09:33That's a long time from now.
01:09:34Get me to the plate.
01:09:36Now let me take it from here.
01:09:38Take care of Cindy.
01:09:40She's a keeper.
01:09:42I...
01:09:43I just didn't see it.
01:09:45So there's no convincing you?
01:09:47No.
01:09:52I love you, man.
01:09:53I love you, too.
01:09:54Go.
01:09:55Get out of here.
01:09:55Now.
01:09:56Go.
01:09:57Hey, Johnny.
01:09:59Good luck.
01:10:04Hurry, Randy.
01:10:05Hurry.
01:10:06Come on, faster.
01:10:07I'm trying.
01:10:07I'm trying.
01:10:15Hurry.
01:10:16I'm trying.
01:10:16I'm trying.
01:10:16I'm trying to be here.
01:10:17Ah.
01:10:19Oh, my God.
01:10:20We're so fucked.
01:10:21I'll keep pressuring.
01:10:22I'm trying.
01:10:23Can you hold it in a second?
01:10:26Yeah.
01:10:26But where the fuck are you going?
01:10:31Oh.
01:10:32Oh, I'm just kidding.
01:10:32Get all this.
01:10:33I've got a bad back.
01:10:35I was really more concerned about the roof falling at this point anyway.
01:10:38All right.
01:10:39Heads up.
01:10:39Oh, Cindy.
01:10:43I mean, I've always wanted to see this.
01:10:46Timing could have been a little bit better.
01:10:47Are you ready?
01:10:48Okay, I guess.
01:10:49Ready?
01:10:49Yeah.
01:10:58Arms still tender.
01:11:00We made it.
01:11:03Way to work that pole.
01:11:05Oh, fuck yourself.
01:11:06What?
01:11:06I'm just saying it was erotic.
01:11:08I'm retired.
01:11:08Yeah?
01:11:10With the moves I just saw?
01:11:12Yeah?
01:11:13Why, you like that?
01:11:15Yeah, I do.
01:11:17Yeah?
01:11:17Yeah.
01:11:19Yeah?
01:11:21Yeah.
01:11:29Stepping up to the plate is possibly the most exciting rookie in recent years.
01:11:33I'll tell you, the Bombers have a lot riding on young Johnny Bash.
01:11:35They grow them big in Southern California.
01:11:38Don't they?
01:11:44You never take your eye off this ball.
01:11:47You swing, Johnny.
01:11:49You swing as if your whole life depends on it.
01:11:51You got me?
01:11:51Whoa!
01:11:52You know, with a hit like that, I think this kid's got a bright future in Major League Baseball.
01:12:05Yeah, you can say that again.
01:12:07Somebody should have told them.
01:12:23I get hit the curve.
01:12:27Another one in the stands by Johnny Bash makes it one of his own bleachers.
01:12:37Look out, Chinatown.
01:12:40The last one hasn't even landed.
01:12:43I cannot believe what we have seen here tonight.
01:12:45A rookie breaking the record for Bomber Stadium.
01:12:47The fans have seen something really special here tonight.
01:12:59Bye.
01:13:00Bye.
01:13:01AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
01:13:31Is it over?
01:13:43For now.
01:13:45Do you think he...
01:13:56There were just too many of them.
01:13:58Well, he saved us all.
01:14:03Just us, probably.
01:14:06I mean, a shit ton of people died.
01:14:08So probably just us.
01:14:11I mean, a lot of people.
01:14:14We'll never forget you all.
01:14:17Okay.
01:14:19Let's get breakfast.
01:14:20Yeah, we'll die.
01:14:24Are there any Waffle Houses around here?
01:14:26I don't know.
01:14:26I want you sunny side up on my trailer.
01:14:28I got that big-ass plate of, like,
01:14:30pistons and, like, big pancakes.
01:14:33Oh, like, what are those, like, red sapines?
01:16:36Seriously, what the shit?
01:16:45My neck! Oh no, my neck!
01:16:50Okay.
01:16:51Faster!
01:16:52Right!
01:16:53Okay!
01:16:54Let it hook onto your back and then just kind of like go to the ground.
01:16:56Okay.
01:17:06I said goodnight assholes, but don't let the bedbugs bite.
01:17:25I started that now.
01:17:28I said goodnight assholes, but don't let the bedbugs bite.
01:17:33Yeah, it's still got it.
01:17:36Don't let the bedbugs bite.
01:17:41Don't let the bedbugs bite.
01:17:43Yeah, it's appropriate for the situation.
01:17:51Get your back!
01:17:57Don't run out of any different direction.
01:17:59Keep your mouth shut until this shit is over, for fuck's sake!
01:18:11Is he, is he, is he? Are they engaged?
01:18:13Is he about himself?
01:18:14Oh, God, can we cut the commercial, please?
01:18:17Let's cut the commercial!
01:18:18Shut up, boy, and tell him both!
01:18:21Get your assholes!
01:18:22Yeah!
01:18:23All right, let's go!
01:18:24Oh, man!
01:18:25Damn it, they're over here!
01:18:26They're fucking everywhere!
01:18:27Yes!
01:18:28Yes!
01:18:29Yes!
01:18:30Yeah!
01:18:31Yeah!
01:18:32All right, let's go!
01:18:33Oh, man!
01:18:34Damn it, they're over here!
01:18:35They're fucking everywhere!
01:18:36Yes!
01:18:37Yes!
01:18:38Yeah!
01:18:39Yeah!
01:18:40Yeah!
01:18:41Yeah!
01:18:42Yeah!
01:18:43Yeah!
01:18:44It's not that bad.
01:18:45I think we just need to stop the bleeding.
01:18:47Get the fuck outta here before I cut off your scrotin' little scrotum sack!
01:19:12Get the fuck outta here before I chop off your scrotin' little sucked-up scrotum sack, bitch!
01:19:29Oh!
01:19:30Somebody call the CHP!
01:19:31It is an Amber Alert!
01:19:33You gotta splenishing us with my boner!
01:19:34What the fuck is wrong?
01:19:35Get the fuck outta here!
01:19:36All right, ready?
01:19:37Oh my god!
01:19:38It can do that?!
01:19:39The rap shot!
01:19:40I knew it would happen!
01:19:41I told you!
01:19:42I told you to take me up on your ear and dance in the wings!
01:19:43Fuck!
01:19:44My neck!
01:19:45I got it!
01:19:46Careful!
01:19:47oh my god it can do that the rapture i knew it i knew it would happen i told you i told you
01:19:57take me up on your ear and dance in wings
01:20:00fuck
01:20:01come on that
01:20:02oh
01:20:04oh
01:20:06oh
01:20:08oh
01:20:10oh
01:20:12oh
01:20:14careful john
01:20:16careful
01:20:22good now
01:20:24oh
01:20:40she can't stop me no more stopping
01:20:42it's okay
01:20:48she can't be
01:20:50they're getting back in the car in a minute
01:20:54you guys want a coffee or something?
01:21:08you want to stop me?
01:21:10that would be so great
01:21:12hey capuchino
01:21:14hey capuchino
01:21:15lots of
01:21:16i'm buying
01:21:17market
01:21:18loopy
01:21:20Just like that.
01:21:32Now really lock him down.
01:21:41Folks under?
01:21:45We're human.
01:21:46Yeah.
01:21:47Shut this place down.
01:21:50Do it now.
01:21:51Force too late!
01:21:59Alright, that's enough vanity.
01:22:05Alright, we more than got that.
01:22:08Did we?
01:22:12COACH!
01:22:17Man!
01:22:18Get off the trail!
01:22:19What the fuck?
01:22:20The sign says you serve breakfast until 11 o'clock.
01:22:22It's 1045.
01:22:23Sir, I don't work here.
01:22:24No, no.
01:22:25You just want a fucking sausage McMuffin, man.
01:22:27What the fuck?
01:22:28Look at me.
01:22:29Look at it.
01:22:30Look at me.
01:22:31Look at it.
01:22:39Guys!
01:22:40You're just kidding.
01:22:41I'm fine!
01:22:42So!
01:22:43hahahaha!
01:22:44Hahahahaha!
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