00:00Jesus only walked on water because he couldn't swim.
00:02On this exclusive time travel edition of 60 Minutes, we interview Jesus' biggest hater.
00:07My name is Hectorius Hector Jackson III, I'm from west side Bethlehem, I grew up right
00:11down the street from Jesus, not a big fan.
00:13Hectorius witnessed Jesus turn water to wine, but he wasn't impressed.
00:17Yes he did, he did turn water to wine, but I mean what's the big deal?
00:20I can turn wine to piss, but ain't nobody worshiping me.
00:23When confronted with the idea that Jesus said, be slow to anger, he answered with this.
00:27Jesus had a temper now.
00:29Jesus had a temper, y'all read in the Bible that he flipped over them tables, you know
00:32he had a temper, he was mad at me.
00:34He told me that I was cursed to go to hell forever because I was selling t-shirts at
00:37his crucifixion.
00:38I don't think that's such a bad thing.
00:40Hectorius sidestepped multiple questions about whether or not his actions were sinful.
00:44You don't think it's a sin to talk about the Lord Jesus like that?
00:47You don't think being bald is a sin?
00:49Okay, well let's ask you another question, what color was Jesus, was he black?
00:53Of course he was black, I just said he couldn't swim.
00:55Even with all that hate in his heart, Hectorius did have a reason for wanting to do this interview.
01:00I did realize the error of my ways when I passed away 16 years after Jesus did and I went straight
01:05to hell, that's when I realized that he was the true messiah.
01:09And if you don't mind me asking, what is it like in hell?
01:11It's a lot like going to a movie theater filled with Puerto Ricans, it's very inconvenient.
01:16You got me bit!
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