- 5 months ago
Bedroom Story Full Movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The 15 years.
00:00:22The 15 years?
00:00:23Wow.
00:00:25Hey.
00:00:26Yeah.
00:00:27I want to try something.
00:00:29I want to try to say something new that I haven't already told you in the last 15 years.
00:00:36Okay.
00:00:37I'll do the same.
00:00:39I like the way you think.
00:00:41Your opinion is always the only one I really care about.
00:00:46My mom told me she finally realized what she needs from a man.
00:00:52She needs to feel like he thinks she's special.
00:00:56That's how you make me feel.
00:00:57When you are special.
00:00:59No.
00:01:01But you make me feel like I am.
00:01:03Look at this.
00:01:07You know what I've observed about you?
00:01:10Over all the years we've been together, it seems like the two things that make you happiest
00:01:14are when I tell you I'm baking something.
00:01:17This cake is unbelievable.
00:01:18Yeah.
00:01:18And when I ask you if you want to have sex.
00:01:22Well, yeah.
00:01:23Maybe that's what all men want most from their wives, you know?
00:01:26Food and sex.
00:01:28It's like their two most basic physiological needs being met by their partner.
00:01:33But there's got to be something else.
00:01:36What about recognition and praise?
00:01:39That's got to be high on everyone's list.
00:01:40Yes.
00:01:43Okay.
00:01:44Here's a question.
00:01:46Which would you rather?
00:01:48A blowjob?
00:01:49Or I give you compliments for five minutes straight?
00:01:52A blowjob.
00:01:53I like when you give me compliments, but...
00:01:58I know.
00:01:59A hand job.
00:02:01That way I can tell you how great you are at the same time.
00:02:04Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
00:02:06You see how your brain works?
00:02:08Should we try that?
00:02:19This one's already folded.
00:02:23It's weird that everyone dies.
00:02:26It's the most dramatic, suspenseful premise ever.
00:02:30It's not a movie, you know?
00:02:31You, that is you, are going to die one day, and you don't know when or how.
00:02:36Wait, why are you singling me out?
00:02:37Are you anticipating it, or...?
00:02:39No, it's just invigorating.
00:02:42I am going to die.
00:02:45Oh, that's terrifying.
00:02:46Or a relief.
00:02:49Katie Couric is going to die.
00:02:53Yes.
00:02:55Yes, she is.
00:02:56But the question is...
00:02:58How much time do you have left?
00:03:00Short amount?
00:03:01Long amount?
00:03:02Yeah, that.
00:03:03And what do you do with the time that you have?
00:03:06Are you spending it the way you should?
00:03:08The way you want to?
00:03:10Did you write today?
00:03:12No.
00:03:13You should just write something new.
00:03:17Just anything.
00:03:18I will.
00:03:19I'm going to.
00:03:22Kim, your book is great.
00:03:25I mean, that's the success.
00:03:26Just having created something that's great.
00:03:31People are going to discover it over time.
00:03:34They will.
00:03:35It'll be read.
00:03:38They absorbed.
00:03:39I didn't even notice time going by.
00:03:41Well, that's what they say happiness is, right?
00:03:43Absorption.
00:03:44It's an incredible debut.
00:03:47This novel reminded me of what it was like to be a child.
00:03:50Cultivating relationships on social media eats up hours every day.
00:03:58Reading other people's feeds and coming up with interesting responses that are actually
00:04:02worth reading.
00:04:04And everyone acts like they're just hanging out, you know?
00:04:06But really, everyone is selling something.
00:04:10I don't know what to tell you.
00:04:11If you think you can put out a book without promoting it on social media, well, it's naive.
00:04:17The future is digital.
00:04:18That's all.
00:04:18End of story.
00:04:19I'll keep at it.
00:04:22How many followers do you have on Twitter?
00:04:26About 300.
00:04:27My 15-year-old daughter has 45,000.
00:04:30I know.
00:04:32Her tweets are really good.
00:04:35Look, we're abandoning our business model.
00:04:37Instead of authors, we're now going to pursue creators of digital content.
00:04:42Okay.
00:04:43So, I can't represent you anymore, but you're a good writer.
00:04:46It's just, you know, the novel is dead.
00:04:48Publishing is dead.
00:04:52I think there's always going to be people who want to read novels.
00:04:55It's not profitable, except for a few authors at the very top.
00:04:59Supposedly, book sales are higher than ever.
00:05:02People are reading e-books.
00:05:03Well, they're not buying your book.
00:05:06I'm sorry.
00:05:07None of our clients' books are doing great right now.
00:05:09That's why we're changing direction.
00:05:17Okay.
00:05:20Well, I appreciate everything you've done for me and my book.
00:05:25Let's keep in touch.
00:05:26Okay.
00:05:28Bye.
00:05:34I'm sure you'll be able to get another agent when your next book is done.
00:05:39It's exciting that you and Alex were in the trades today.
00:05:42I can't believe the show is going to go.
00:05:45Yeah, I know.
00:05:46I can't believe it either.
00:05:47It's crazy.
00:05:48You're finally going to be running your own TV show.
00:05:51You work so hard.
00:05:53Yeah.
00:05:54If we can just make this a hit, then we can get one of our own pilots made.
00:05:58Yeah.
00:06:00The hours are going to be long, though.
00:06:01We're not going to be able to spend as much time together.
00:06:03You know how you always say,
00:06:05couples that stick together, stick together.
00:06:07No.
00:06:08It'll be okay.
00:06:10I'll use the extra time alone to write.
00:06:17Ideas.
00:06:22Ideas.
00:06:42Ideas.
00:06:42Ideas.
00:06:42Ideas.
00:07:02Please, God.
00:07:04Ideas.
00:07:07Ideas.
00:07:07Ideas.
00:07:17What is the point?
00:07:19I found our lead actress.
00:07:21Yeah?
00:07:21She's in that group of headshots we got today.
00:07:23Her name is Brittany Slayton.
00:07:26Is she funny?
00:07:28Who cares? Look at her.
00:07:30You're going to care. When we start shooting, she has to deliver one of your jokes.
00:07:33We'll get an audience just because of how she looks.
00:07:36Let's just watch her reel together tomorrow.
00:07:38Okay.
00:07:49Hi.
00:07:50Hi.
00:07:52Lori told me about some news show today where they did this experiment.
00:07:56They gave women the choice of dating.
00:07:59Either a short guy with a prestigious job and a great salary.
00:08:02Or a tall guy who had a dead-end job, was broke, and had a lot of debt.
00:08:06All the women chose the tall guy.
00:08:10Hmm.
00:08:11I just think it sucks not giving short guys a chance.
00:08:14Well, it's the same as men wanting to be with a woman just because she's beautiful. Right?
00:08:19I like how personality is the great equalizer.
00:08:23You know, if a person has charisma, it doesn't matter if they're not conventionally attractive.
00:08:29People want to be with them.
00:08:30You know, supposedly one of the traits of charismatic people is that they're good listeners.
00:08:35Like Bill Clinton, people say that when he's talking to you, you feel like he's completely focused on you.
00:08:41Like you're the most important person in the world.
00:08:42Well, when Esauk Denison would talk to people, she'd open her eyes really wide and refrain from blinking as if she were trying to entrance them.
00:08:51Wow.
00:08:52They made her seem affected, but really, she was just insecure.
00:08:56Her whole problem was self-confidence.
00:08:58Maybe she wouldn't have become a great writer if she didn't have something to prove.
00:09:04Maybe that's what drives anyone who becomes great.
00:09:07They have something to prove.
00:09:08Yeah.
00:09:10I want to read you something that she wrote.
00:09:13Yeah.
00:09:19Reality had met me such a short time ago in such an ugly shape that I have no wish to come into contact with it again.
00:09:26Somewhere in me, a dark fear was still crouching, and I took refuge within the fantastic like a distressed child in his fairy tales.
00:09:35I did not want to look ahead, and not at all to look back.
00:09:42That's good.
00:09:44How are you doing?
00:09:46I keep fantasizing about leaving everything.
00:09:49Not just John, but also Philly, this house.
00:09:53You just gotta hang in there.
00:09:55You're going to make it through this.
00:09:58It's like you gotta rip off the mother of all Band-Aids.
00:10:01Yeah.
00:10:02But once you do...
00:10:03I'll be free.
00:10:04You're welcome.
00:10:05You're welcome.
00:10:22I'm hungry.
00:10:24I'm ready. I want it noted. And I'm just going to sit here totally still.
00:10:44Because normally when I see that you're still getting ready, I'll keep fiddling around.
00:10:48And then later when we're late, you'll think it was because of me.
00:10:50I know it's me this time, but it's usually you.
00:10:53It's not always me. That's not true.
00:10:55Then how come every time I have a lunch or appointment by myself, I am on time?
00:11:01Okay, wait. Let's get back to Lisa.
00:11:03So you know she's not typically a snoop. It's not her style.
00:11:07Actually, though, doesn't everybody snoop sometimes? I mean, I've done it.
00:11:12What, with me? With my stuff?
00:11:14No. Not with you.
00:11:17Okay.
00:11:18Anyway, John stays at work till like 10 o'clock every night because they have a void going to bed at the same time.
00:11:23Because the bedroom is intimate, obviously.
00:11:25And if you're having problems.
00:11:27Anyway, John works late, comes home, watches sports news while polishing off a bottle of wine, and passes out on the sofa.
00:11:35Lisa comes down to the kitchen for a glass of water, notices his cell phone on the dining table,
00:11:41and it makes a noise, signaling he got a text.
00:11:45Oh, boy.
00:11:45Yeah.
00:11:46Yeah.
00:11:46It's a selfie from some blonde.
00:11:50Oh, no.
00:11:51Yeah.
00:11:52Blonde said, hey, hottie, you want to hang this weekend?
00:11:55What are they, like fucking 20-year-olds or something?
00:12:00That's crazy.
00:12:01You know, Lisa said, even though she's not in love with him anymore and she's told him she wants a divorce,
00:12:06it was like getting punched in the stomach.
00:12:08Of course.
00:12:09But she's like, what else is on his phone?
00:12:12Yeah.
00:12:13So she starts clicking through his texts, and there are tons of him asking different women out for drinks.
00:12:19Oh, my goodness.
00:12:21Are these women our age or are they younger?
00:12:24Lisa thinks they're our age.
00:12:25She thinks maybe he went to college with some of them.
00:12:27Probably the only way he's going to get someone younger is if he drives some flashy car or something.
00:12:32That's for money.
00:12:33But he has no money because his business isn't doing well,
00:12:37and he refuses to get a job because 9-to-5s are for suckers, right?
00:12:41And meanwhile, Lisa is working her ass off trying to pay the bills so their water doesn't get shut off.
00:12:47Jesus, that's terrible.
00:12:49And you know what he says to her?
00:12:50What?
00:12:51I just wish you'd be happy.
00:12:55Huh?
00:12:56Maybe that's what all men want, right?
00:12:58You know, just for their wives to smile and be happy.
00:13:03You know what?
00:13:03I get it.
00:13:04I understand it.
00:13:05It's like, welcome home, honey.
00:13:08Here's your cake.
00:13:09That's how you are, you know?
00:13:13Right?
00:13:15That's how you see me?
00:13:18Yeah, you're always happy.
00:13:20Well, except for now.
00:13:22Really?
00:13:22I have no idea what my purpose is.
00:13:26I mean, when I was writing my book, I felt like I was doing something that mattered.
00:13:31But if it turns out you're not successful at whatever it is you do...
00:13:35People love your writing, though, Kim.
00:13:36Come on.
00:13:37I'm not getting paid for it, and only a handful of people know or care about it, I can't help
00:13:43but wonder if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
00:13:47Your writing is validated by success.
00:13:49You are continually working on TV shows or selling pilots, and you're paid well.
00:13:54It is great that you have confirmation of your talent.
00:14:00Meanwhile, I...
00:14:02Oh, my God, we're so late.
00:14:03I was ready.
00:14:04I was ready.
00:14:04I was ready.
00:14:35I was ready.
00:14:36Shannon.
00:14:37Hi.
00:14:39Hey.
00:14:40It was so good to see you at the reunion.
00:14:42Yeah.
00:14:44But I've changed.
00:14:46You look great.
00:14:49You remember homecoming?
00:14:52We didn't even make it to the dance.
00:14:53We just sat out in the parking lot
00:14:57And made out in my car
00:14:59Who knew that
00:15:03Kissing for so long could be such a turn on
00:15:07But I guess we did more than just kiss
00:15:12I don't believe in climate change
00:15:21Don't ruin it
00:15:24What if you've been losing weight and working out
00:15:42Because you want a date
00:15:43I do not want a date
00:15:46I'm married
00:15:47To a crazy person
00:15:50Actually, I wish I really were nuts
00:15:53I'd have more followers on Twitter
00:15:55Besides celebrities, the people who do best on Twitter
00:15:58Are the pretty girls who are nuts
00:15:59Like models who get into insult wars with people
00:16:02Or say crazy shit about their sex life
00:16:05Yeah
00:16:06You know, Alex has been doing online dating
00:16:09Oh, how's it going?
00:16:12She says that all the guys post pictures of their motorcycle or truck
00:16:15And all the girls post pictures of their cats
00:16:18Wow
00:16:18Yeah, it's like everyone's speaking the wrong language to each other
00:16:22Can you imagine online dating?
00:16:26No
00:16:26She says that no one looks like their photo
00:16:28When she goes to meet them for coffee or whatever
00:16:31They look totally different than their picture
00:16:33Well, it's tricky
00:16:37I mean, you have to have photos that are good enough to catch guys' attention
00:16:40But not so good that they're disappointed when they meet you
00:16:44Yeah, she says some of the guys will post pictures of themselves like shirtless
00:16:49What are you doing?
00:16:51Must be like a primal thing
00:16:53Yeah, it's like
00:16:55This is what I look like naked
00:16:57I want to see what you look like naked
00:16:59Yeah
00:17:00You look good
00:17:03Yeah
00:17:04Yeah
00:17:05Thanks
00:17:07Chris is constantly hooking up with girls he meets online
00:17:14I don't think he goes out with anyone twice
00:17:16They just have sex and keep moving
00:17:18Kim, he's in his 20s
00:17:20But isn't it weird that we miss that?
00:17:23Apparently people spend their 20s bawling everyone in sight
00:17:25But not us
00:17:27Do you wish now that you'd been single in your 20s?
00:17:31No
00:17:31Oh, you are lying
00:17:34This is what dishonesty in a marriage looks like
00:17:39Would I rather have been single in my 20s than date you?
00:17:44No
00:17:44You would do very well if you were single now
00:17:48Kim, guys would be throwing themselves at you
00:17:51I have at least five friends who would gleefully step over my dead body to get to you
00:17:56No one would be as good as you
00:17:58I'd be
00:17:59I'd be screwed
00:18:02Seriously
00:18:04How's it going with the mediator?
00:18:09Okay, so far
00:18:10If we can just keep being civil to each other
00:18:13The divorce will only cost about $5,000
00:18:16When Lisa and John first got together
00:18:19I was envious of them
00:18:21Because it seemed like they were more in love than anyone had ever been in the history of the world
00:18:27And then basically right after they got married
00:18:29They started having problems
00:18:31They were in counseling the first year
00:18:34It seems like people make the decision to get married when they're in a state of heightened emotion
00:18:40But emotions are fleeting and marriage is not
00:18:44It is hard as hell to get out of
00:18:46So
00:18:47No one should ever get married
00:18:49Well, some would say that's why you get married
00:18:52Because it helps you stay put when you're experiencing fleeting emotions
00:18:56It's just so weird that Lisa was married for 17 years
00:19:01And now she'll be dating again
00:19:03I mean, can you imagine having sex with strangers?
00:19:08I just described some people's fantasy, right?
00:19:11Yeah
00:19:11Sex with strangers
00:19:12Yeah
00:19:13I'm really sensitive to how people smell
00:19:18Even just assuming they're showered and clean
00:19:20I don't know
00:19:22That's funny
00:19:22That's actually one of the questions on the dating apps
00:19:25Really?
00:19:25Yeah, Alex says they ask you to rate how important everything is to you
00:19:29And that's one of the things
00:19:30How important is it that your date smells good?
00:19:34Very important
00:19:35Yeah
00:19:36I don't like when women wear tons of perfume
00:19:39I like when men wear cologne
00:19:43Maybe I should wear cologne more often
00:19:48No, I don't care about you wearing it
00:19:51You smell good without it
00:19:52No, but if you like cologne, maybe I should wear it
00:19:54I don't know
00:19:56Maybe it would help
00:19:59Maybe it would help?
00:20:02What?
00:20:03Did you just say maybe it would help?
00:20:06Like what the hell is that supposed to mean?
00:20:09I don't know
00:20:10I didn't know what I was saying
00:20:12I was thinking about something else
00:20:14And then I
00:20:14I'm sorry
00:20:16Why don't we have sex anymore?
00:20:19We do
00:20:20It's been forever
00:20:21It's been like a month
00:20:23Yeah, that's a long time
00:20:25What is it?
00:20:33Is it me?
00:20:36Are you not attracted to me anymore?
00:20:37You know I'm attracted to you
00:20:39Then what is it?
00:20:44I think I just meant that cologne makes me think of sex
00:20:47I just need something to remind me of sex
00:20:52Hey
00:20:59I'm sorry
00:21:03I'm sorry
00:21:05I didn't mean it like that
00:21:10I'm sorry
00:21:11Hey
00:21:14I didn't mean it
00:21:17I'm sorry
00:21:20I am attracted to you
00:21:28I am attracted to you
00:21:28I am attracted to you
00:21:47What are you doing?
00:21:51I want to drink it hot first
00:21:53And then switch to iced
00:21:54I want it both ways
00:21:56How'd casting go today?
00:22:00Good
00:22:00We had a girl come in to audition
00:22:01That was surprisingly good
00:22:04We all liked her
00:22:05All the writers
00:22:05She was a little ditzy
00:22:06But very funny
00:22:08What's her name?
00:22:09I'm Brittany
00:22:09You know what I noticed today?
00:22:14Everyone that came in to audition
00:22:15Had striking eye color
00:22:17Like blue or green eyes
00:22:18That got everyone's attention
00:22:19I bet the reason they got into acting
00:22:22Was because when they were growing up
00:22:24People would comment on their eyes
00:22:26And it would make them feel special
00:22:28I believe it
00:22:30Yeah
00:22:31George Clooney has brown eyes
00:22:34So is she attractive?
00:22:38Who?
00:22:38Brittany
00:22:39Yeah, she's cute
00:22:41What's her last name?
00:22:44Uh, Slayton, I think
00:22:46See, it's little things like this
00:22:49Just chip away at trust
00:22:51Are you seriously pretending to be unsure of her name?
00:23:02What?
00:23:05What?
00:23:06I'm trying to decide what I'll do if you leave me for this actress
00:23:12I'm not gonna leave you
00:23:14Manhattan
00:23:14Some kind of finance guy
00:23:16Not the shady type
00:23:17He just was always brilliant at math
00:23:20And he has impeccable ethics
00:23:22Well, there's no such person
00:23:23Fine
00:23:25Yeah
00:23:26If I were single, I could redecorate as often as I like
00:23:31Change up the whole damn house whenever I want
00:23:34Meanwhile, I hope you're ready to play therapist
00:23:38And personal assistant to your actress wife
00:23:40As she careens between breathtaking narcissism
00:23:44And debilitating insecurity
00:23:46The great thing about actors is
00:23:50You always know where you stand
00:23:52They're number one
00:23:53Why do you do this?
00:23:59Huh?
00:23:59I like to be prepared for any outcome
00:24:05Like anyone
00:24:06I'm trying to avoid suffering
00:24:08Well, if we break up, we'd both suffer
00:24:12Even if I marry an actress
00:24:14And you end up with a finance guy
00:24:16Yeah
00:24:23Nervous
00:24:32You gotta commit or you're gonna make a mess
00:24:35Commit, commit, commit
00:24:53Yeah
00:25:03No, she used that book club
00:25:06Yeah
00:25:07Once a week
00:25:08Once a week, yeah
00:25:11No, but she's doing great
00:25:13She's doing really good
00:25:14What's that?
00:25:20Well, look
00:25:20I'm glad it made you feel better
00:25:21But did you think about going outside at all
00:25:23And throwing it against the ground
00:25:25Or
00:25:25I'll fix the wall
00:25:27I know how to spackle
00:25:28Besides, I've been wanting to paint this room again anyway
00:25:31We just had to paint it
00:25:32Two years ago
00:25:33I got my hair cut and colored
00:25:35And I bought some cute new outfits
00:25:38Meg has a good camera
00:25:39So she's gonna take some pics of me
00:25:41To use on dating apps
00:25:42Oh my gosh
00:25:43How fun
00:25:44It's so weird to be single again
00:25:46Lately I haven't been able to sleep
00:25:48Because I'm just excited
00:25:50Did you know
00:25:56Anytime you see a celebrity
00:25:58With fabulous mermaid waves
00:26:00It's actually hair extensions
00:26:01What?
00:26:02One day I'm going to get hair extensions
00:26:09They'll be really expensive
00:26:12They'll never be exactly right
00:26:15And I'll complain about them
00:26:18A lot
00:26:18Actually, I don't want hair extensions
00:26:22It's like Fran Lebowitz says about
00:26:24Plastic surgery
00:26:25It's the burden of the rich
00:26:27But I would like to repaint this bedroom
00:26:33You always want change, huh?
00:26:37You always want things to stay the same
00:26:40Look
00:26:41I've been with the same person
00:26:44For 15 years
00:26:45And that's great
00:26:46But
00:26:47I do need change
00:26:50In some part of my life
00:26:51And
00:26:51I don't think it's a big deal
00:26:54To want to repaint the bedroom
00:26:55Occasionally
00:26:56Are you stressed about the show?
00:27:00Yeah
00:27:00I just hope we make something good
00:27:02On set
00:27:05It seems like you're not attracted to me
00:27:08I am
00:27:09You don't act like it
00:27:11God, I hope not
00:27:32So
00:27:52What have you been up to?
00:27:57I'm trying to think of how to summarize the last two decades
00:28:00You look good
00:28:03No
00:28:03You do
00:28:05Oh
00:28:05I don't really look like this
00:28:08Recently I've gained some weight
00:28:10And I've started losing my hair
00:28:11I don't care about that stuff
00:28:13I just remember you the way you used to be
00:28:16So when we were on set today
00:28:22Did I hear you talking about The Bachelorette?
00:28:24I'm obsessed
00:28:25Is that a problem?
00:28:29I wish I didn't care
00:28:31Let's pretend I only watch documentaries
00:28:35Well this whole thing is pretend
00:28:37There has to be some grain of truth or reality
00:28:40Remember how we all went to Catherine's parents' farm for senior skip day?
00:28:45Yeah
00:28:45And everyone got wasted and we all played strip poker in the barn
00:28:49That was one of the best nights of my life
00:28:51And you and I almost made out
00:28:52Why didn't we?
00:28:54I don't know
00:28:56Oh wait
00:28:56That's because you only dated football players
00:28:59I read a book recently
00:29:00Oh yeah?
00:29:01Oh it was so good
00:29:02It was about magical thinking
00:29:04Oh the Joan Didion book
00:29:06No
00:29:07It was about how if you think positively enough
00:29:11Often enough
00:29:12You can manifest everything you dream of
00:29:16So every person who's successful now never had negative thoughts while they were working their way up?
00:29:25I'm not sure
00:29:26I wanted to sleep and now I'm having a panic attack
00:29:31So
00:29:32How are you?
00:29:35Good
00:29:35It seems like your focus on success is making you unhappy
00:29:42You think?
00:29:43Look I'm a nice sweet person
00:29:46No I know
00:29:46I'm sorry
00:29:48I'll see you at work
00:29:51Okay
00:29:53I'm gonna look really hot tomorrow
00:29:56Great
00:29:58What'd you do today?
00:30:08Wasted time online
00:30:10How much time did you spend on Facebook?
00:30:13Too much
00:30:14What'd you get out of it?
00:30:17I miss my friends from high school
00:30:19You don't even have anything in common with them
00:30:22Except childhood
00:30:23Okay
00:30:24That's a bit dramatic
00:30:27It is dramatic
00:30:29Growing up with a group of people
00:30:32It's your personal history
00:30:35Your formative years
00:30:36Well I just think
00:30:39At a certain point at a certain age you move past that
00:30:42Or is it more important than ever?
00:30:46Those memories
00:30:47Who you were then
00:30:48Like
00:30:49I can't decide if I'm a completely different person now
00:30:52Or
00:30:53If I'm basically the same
00:30:55I have no desire to be on Facebook
00:31:01You're not a sentimental person
00:31:03You're not nostalgic
00:31:05I am about some things
00:31:06You seemed happy to see everybody at your 20 year reunion
00:31:10You were happy to see Shannon
00:31:13It was nice to see her
00:31:15It was nice to see everyone
00:31:16I like people
00:31:19Yeah but
00:31:24I want to see everybody from my class
00:31:27Get them all together and just
00:31:28Hang out for hours
00:31:30Really catch up
00:31:32Yeah I don't need to do that
00:31:34Maybe you don't care about being on Facebook because you're
00:31:47Interested in your life
00:31:50You're engaged in what you're doing
00:31:52You're not interested in your life
00:31:56Hey hey hey
00:32:01Hey
00:32:02Stop breaking the wall asshole
00:32:12Liar liar
00:32:13From where does the power come
00:32:17To see the race to its end
00:32:19Chariots of fire
00:32:20You want us to give back the money?
00:32:24Lost in America
00:32:25I've got the hair
00:32:28I've got the eyes
00:32:29Peggy Sue got married
00:32:30Oh
00:32:32I'm trying to cooperate
00:32:35Fargo
00:32:36Michael is a
00:32:40Very tall man
00:32:42You want a hint?
00:32:46No
00:32:47All that jazz?
00:32:52Perfect
00:32:52I'm sorry
00:32:55I can't
00:32:55I don't do this
00:32:56I never do that
00:32:58I don't care
00:32:59I just
00:32:59I can't believe you lied about it
00:33:01You know what I mean
00:33:03I do care
00:33:03Why are you staying up
00:33:05Looking at pictures of a half naked model?
00:33:06It's stupid
00:33:07The one time I do that
00:33:09It was so weird
00:33:10I covered up that you were looking at it
00:33:13You totally lied
00:33:14I know
00:33:15I'm sorry
00:33:15I screwed up
00:33:16Who even is she?
00:33:18She's just
00:33:18Like a swimsuit model
00:33:20Would it bother you
00:33:21If I stayed up late
00:33:22Looking at pictures of naked guys online?
00:33:24Of course it would
00:33:25You know
00:33:26You don't have to worry about that
00:33:28Because
00:33:28I don't want to look at pictures of
00:33:30Strangers
00:33:31Penises
00:33:32Everyone knows that
00:33:34Men love beauty
00:33:36So it's just accepted
00:33:37That
00:33:37You get to look at pictures of women online
00:33:40But I would argue
00:33:41That you're going outside the relationship
00:33:43For something
00:33:43And it could get weird
00:33:45Like where you just
00:33:46Shut down emotionally
00:33:47No, no, no
00:33:48Kim
00:33:48Kim
00:33:48I was just on autopilot
00:33:50Okay
00:33:51Randomly clicking through things
00:33:52Without even thinking about it
00:33:53That's all that was
00:33:54Why don't you just look at pictures of women openly then?
00:33:58I mean
00:33:58Why hide it?
00:33:59Maybe while I'm cooking you dinner
00:34:01You could just be
00:34:02Sitting at the table
00:34:03Surfing the net
00:34:04For pictures of naked women
00:34:06I would never do that to you
00:34:07Doing it behind my back
00:34:08Doesn't protect me
00:34:09It protects you
00:34:10If you're going to keep doing it
00:34:12You should tell me
00:34:13I want to know if that's our arrangement
00:34:16So that I'll feel free to do what I want to do
00:34:19Well, um
00:34:21You already are doing what you want to do
00:34:23What does that even mean?
00:34:26I mean, you're talking to all those guys on Facebook
00:34:27They're just friends
00:34:30Okay
00:34:30Well, a lot of them want to be more than just friends
00:34:32They're just curious about my life
00:34:34They just want to catch up
00:34:36No, no, no, no
00:34:37Don't defend them, okay?
00:34:39I hate when you defend them
00:34:40What's depressing is that no one can be trusted
00:34:45You have your own inner life
00:34:48And I don't know what you're really thinking
00:34:51Or what you do with your private time
00:34:53Well
00:34:55I could say the same thing about you
00:34:58Kim
00:35:01You can trust me
00:35:04That was rough
00:35:16Yeah
00:35:18We should write an episode about this
00:35:20I'm going to be embarrassed to tell you about it at work tomorrow
00:35:24Maybe I won't
00:35:25Oh, come on
00:35:27We talk about everything
00:35:28You think I'm a jerk?
00:35:29No
00:35:30I am a little disappointed, though
00:35:34I thought y'all had a great marriage
00:35:37We do
00:35:37This is not a big deal
00:35:39All men do it
00:35:40So, the problem is that you got caught?
00:35:44I don't know
00:35:45Actually, I can think of a few married men I know who
00:35:50Nice guys
00:35:52Really sweet
00:35:53They probably don't look at pictures of naked women online
00:35:56So you think I'm not a good man?
00:35:57No, of course you're a good man
00:36:00It's just
00:36:01There's a continuum, you know?
00:36:04So I'm not the worst, but I'm not the best
00:36:06But yeah, I mean
00:36:10I'm sure there's probably loads of women who would shrug this off
00:36:14They're the type who are not in love with their husbands
00:36:17And are like, whatever keeps them off my back
00:36:19Yeah, but it's not like she caught me masturbating the pictures of women
00:36:23You think that's worse?
00:36:25Yeah, you don't
00:36:26There's a big leap between looking at pictures and masturbating to them
00:36:30Why?
00:36:32Because
00:36:33Because
00:36:33You're having sexual thoughts about another woman
00:36:36Aren't you having sexual thoughts when you're looking at the pictures?
00:36:40I mean
00:36:40You can have sexual thoughts about a person without looking at pictures of them
00:36:43Okay, this is a whole can of worms
00:36:44I just think that masturbating the pictures of women is worse
00:36:47Look
00:36:48If I'm dating someone
00:36:49I don't want them doing any of this stuff
00:36:51But
00:36:53I think the question is
00:36:55Is it unreasonable for men to expect to be able to look at pictures of naked women?
00:37:01Or
00:37:01Is it unreasonable for women to expect them not to?
00:37:05Yes, I think
00:37:06That it's
00:37:06Oh, you know
00:37:07This is why
00:37:08I hate dating, by the way
00:37:10It's like
00:37:11You meet this guy
00:37:12He seems nice
00:37:13He's sweet
00:37:13And then
00:37:14You find out he has this whole secret life
00:37:16Women have secret lives
00:37:17Yeah
00:37:18But men's habits are always darker
00:37:20What's the worst thing you do that no one knows about?
00:37:25I got nothing to hide
00:37:26No, seriously
00:37:28I could run for political office
00:37:30Okay
00:37:32Okay, fine
00:37:34If I'm reaching
00:37:36So
00:37:37If I'm jealous of a person
00:37:39Or Lightly's talking
00:37:40Then
00:37:40I go online and look up their real estate records
00:37:43To see how much they paid for their house
00:37:45That's it
00:37:46Mm-hmm
00:37:47So
00:37:50You look at pictures of naked women online
00:37:53Sometimes I'm bored
00:37:54Or I'm frustrated
00:37:55Or I need variety
00:37:56It's not cheating
00:37:58But Hawk was right there between the chairs
00:38:24It was huge
00:38:25Wow
00:38:26Yeah
00:38:27Oh
00:38:29Look at the hummingbird
00:38:31You see it right there?
00:38:33I see it
00:38:34Yeah
00:38:34I love how birds are busy doing their own thing
00:38:39They just go about their lives with no interest in us
00:38:44Yeah
00:38:45I love that
00:38:46It is gross
00:38:55It is gross
00:38:55How much we ate this weekend
00:38:57What if you can go to jail for gluttony?
00:39:01Our friends would be like
00:39:02What happened to Mark and Kim?
00:39:05Well, they went to prison
00:39:06Because of Fourth of July weekend
00:39:08A big part of marriage is overeating together
00:39:13Everyone would be in jail with us
00:39:15Yeah
00:39:16You know how they say you should like move your body for 20 minutes every day?
00:39:23Yeah
00:39:24It just always sounds appealing to me, you know?
00:39:26Like I do my workout
00:39:28But it's tedious
00:39:30Like moving your body for 20 minutes a day
00:39:33That just sounds fun
00:39:34You could just do whatever
00:39:36And they say it reduces your chance of getting cancer
00:39:39Well
00:39:40What's going on?
00:39:43I'm going to move my body for 20 minutes
00:39:47Okay
00:39:48You're going to do it with me?
00:39:51Sure
00:39:52Over
00:39:53Hey
00:40:15Hi
00:40:17Hey
00:40:18So where do you live in Philly?
00:40:24East Falls
00:40:25Oh, wow
00:40:27How is it?
00:40:28It's great
00:40:29There's cool stuff to do
00:40:31It's easy to meet up with friends
00:40:33There's a sense of community
00:40:35The only time I feel a sense of community in L.A. is when we're greeted warmly by waiters at our favorite restaurants
00:40:42You don't have to live here
00:40:45No
00:40:46I do
00:40:48So
00:40:51How'd it go today?
00:40:55We just kept getting a bunch of stupid notes
00:40:57And the premise of the show, I just
00:41:01I just wish it were one of me and Alex's ideas
00:41:05I mean, we've written a ton of great pilots
00:41:07Everyone loves the Austin pilot
00:41:09I just don't know why our agents haven't tried to get it set up somewhere yet
00:41:13I think it has to come from you
00:41:15You have to tell them this is the script we want to make
00:41:19We've done that
00:41:20You've never said we are going to lie down in traffic until you help us get this script set up somewhere
00:41:26You can't do that
00:41:27You don't just
00:41:28Then you have to make it happen yourself with or without their help
00:41:32Shoot it yourself
00:41:33We could go to Philly
00:41:37You could shoot at friends' houses, local places
00:41:40Kim, if I say no to jobs here so I can make something myself, we wouldn't be able to keep this house
00:41:45Okay, but
00:41:46Look, everything we have, we bought with the money that I make from taking jobs that I don't always want to take
00:41:53I know
00:41:53So let's not let an attachment to material possessions stop you from fulfilling your dreams
00:41:58Oh, come on
00:41:59Kim, you say that
00:42:00But if we had to move out
00:42:02And move into a one-bedroom apartment
00:42:04Or, God forbid, move back home with one of our parents
00:42:08You would hate me
00:42:08You would divorce me so fast
00:42:10No, I wouldn't
00:42:11But you might resent me for talking you into quitting your job
00:42:15But I mean
00:42:16I could go to Philly
00:42:18What?
00:42:19Why would you go to Philly?
00:42:21I don't know
00:42:22That makes no sense
00:42:23Look, it doesn't matter
00:42:25We just got to get a hold of ourselves here
00:42:27We don't have to go to such extreme measures
00:42:29Look, I am not miserable
00:42:30I just want to one day be able to make one of my pilots
00:42:34And that day is going to come
00:42:35I just need to be patient
00:42:38That's it
00:42:38I need to get a job
00:42:42I thought when my book was published
00:42:45Maybe I would get in advance to write my next one
00:42:48But
00:42:48That isn't happening
00:42:51You already have a job
00:42:52You're a writer
00:42:53At a certain point
00:42:55You have to ask yourself
00:42:56If you're really on the right path
00:42:58I mean, clearly
00:42:59You know what?
00:43:05I'm not on this path anymore
00:43:06Fuck this path
00:43:08I'm going to do something else
00:43:10Start your next book
00:43:13I'm not writing another book
00:43:15It'd be stupid to write another one
00:43:18No, no, no
00:43:19It's not stupid
00:43:20You're a writer
00:43:22You're good at it
00:43:23Even if I am
00:43:24Does it matter
00:43:24If no one reads what I write?
00:43:26You have
00:43:27A bunch of subscribers on your blog
00:43:29It's all friends and family
00:43:31There are writers with tens of thousands of subscribers
00:43:35Although supposedly no one's even reading blogs anymore
00:43:38It's all about Instagram now
00:43:39Okay, whatever
00:43:41You don't stop expressing yourself
00:43:42Just because there's no audience
00:43:44It used to be
00:43:47I would have agreed with you
00:43:49But now that I've been doing this for so long
00:43:52I
00:43:52You know what I'm trying to accept right now?
00:43:59There may not be a happy ending
00:44:01I might never be successful
00:44:04You will be successful
00:44:06You already are successful
00:44:09You're amazing
00:44:12I don't deserve you
00:44:15So which one was this?
00:44:18The fireman
00:44:19Super hot
00:44:20So you finally hooked up
00:44:23What happened?
00:44:24It was a bust
00:44:25I gave him a handjob
00:44:27Just to get him out of my house
00:44:29If you didn't want to
00:44:31You shouldn't have
00:44:32Would you want your daughters doing that?
00:44:34God, no
00:44:35I shouldn't have done it
00:44:37He asked me why I wasn't letting him do anything for me
00:44:41It's because when we were making out
00:44:43The way he was touching me
00:44:45I could tell he didn't know what he was doing
00:44:47But here's something
00:44:49You know how penises are usually not that attractive?
00:44:53His was
00:44:54It was actually beautiful
00:44:56Really?
00:44:57Yeah
00:44:57It looked like it was airbrushed
00:44:59His whole body was just sort of golden
00:45:03Wow
00:45:04I think another reason he looked good down there
00:45:07Was because he was well groomed
00:45:09His hair was trimmed
00:45:11Mark trims his hair
00:45:13Of course he does
00:45:15Because he gives a shit
00:45:16John never did anything to maintain his hair down there
00:45:19It was disgusting
00:45:21So you gave him a handjob
00:45:23Did you use any kind of lubricant?
00:45:27Or
00:45:27He finished himself off
00:45:29He did something I've never seen before
00:45:31He spit in his hand for lube
00:45:33So he's adept at getting himself off
00:45:39But not women
00:45:40Maybe this is an argument for dating older men
00:45:48No
00:45:49They want to date 26 year olds
00:45:52Of course they do
00:45:55Another thing about getting older
00:45:57Is I find myself thinking about the big picture more
00:46:00Often like I'm looking at our life from a distance
00:46:05And I see where we are on the continuum
00:46:09Yeah I know we have time left
00:46:11But
00:46:11It no longer seems infinite
00:46:14And soon the pretty years will be over
00:46:18Or maybe they already are
00:46:20When I think about how the rest of our life is going to go
00:46:25I feel like there may not be
00:46:27A lot of surprises left
00:46:28Or there will be surprises
00:46:30But
00:46:30They won't be good ones
00:46:32There will be good surprises
00:46:34A lot of cool stuff might happen
00:46:35What's weird is that
00:46:37Even if I think about the good stuff that
00:46:39Might happen
00:46:40I don't feel excited
00:46:42You know one of the actresses on our show
00:46:46Read a good book about thinking positive
00:46:48I'll find out the name of it and get it for you
00:46:50You don't find pessimism attractive?
00:46:54So
00:47:11How was the notes meeting today?
00:47:13Tell me they raped about the script
00:47:15No
00:47:16They went right in the notes
00:47:17They had no compliments
00:47:18Nothing positive to say
00:47:19Bullshit
00:47:20I kept wanting to say
00:47:21Hey, have you seen the shows on your network?
00:47:24Because they all suck
00:47:25Yeah
00:47:27What are you doing?
00:47:31Why are you smiling?
00:47:32Oh
00:47:32I'm just doing this thing from that book on positivity you got me
00:47:36Go ahead
00:47:36Tell me more about your day
00:47:38Okay
00:47:39So we're shooting this episode
00:47:41Where Brittany's older brother comes over
00:47:43And he's talking about his womanizing
00:47:45And basically being a dick
00:47:46And they say
00:47:47Hey, Brittany's not being sweet enough to him in this scene
00:47:50Can she like make him a sandwich or something?
00:47:54Wow
00:47:54That's annoying
00:47:56Wait
00:47:57What are you doing?
00:47:58Why are you smiling?
00:47:59Oh, I'm faking it till I make it
00:48:01Just the physical act of smiling
00:48:03Causes serotonin to be released
00:48:04It's freaking me out
00:48:06Really?
00:48:06Yeah
00:48:07Too much?
00:48:17Dinner was so good
00:48:18Thank you
00:48:19I'm sorry
00:48:21I've been working so late
00:48:22No, I'm sorry you're having to
00:48:25So Lisa
00:48:27Is going on a million dates
00:48:29She's like the belle of the ball
00:48:30On all of these dating apps
00:48:32You know how she had gained weight
00:48:34Over the past couple of years
00:48:35Because her marriage was so miserable?
00:48:37I bet she loses it now
00:48:38She already has
00:48:40Of course
00:48:41She said when she dropped the kids off at John's this weekend
00:48:44He looked slimmer too
00:48:45Yeah, they're on the market now
00:48:47They have to look good
00:48:48It's amazing what people can accomplish when they're motivated
00:48:51She said some of her girlfriends who are divorced have told her that
00:48:54Guys in their 20s and 30s like dating older divorced women
00:48:59Because a lot of them want to have sex with no strings attached
00:49:03They've already been married
00:49:05They already have kids
00:49:06Are you jealous of Lisa?
00:49:10No
00:49:11No
00:49:14Because she gets a date?
00:49:16Yeah, but whom?
00:49:18By the time you're our age
00:49:19People have developed some seriously scary habits
00:49:22So what'd you do today?
00:49:29I read an article in the LA Times
00:49:31Well, that's something
00:49:32It was about people who are obsessed with opera
00:49:35Yeah
00:49:36Yeah, they hang out on these websites
00:49:38Devoted to opera news and gossip
00:49:40And there's this contingent of opera lovers
00:49:44Called opera hoppers
00:49:45They fly all over the world
00:49:47Just to see performances they're interested in
00:49:50And these are not just rich people
00:49:53We're talking about secretaries
00:49:55Who love opera
00:49:56And save up all their money
00:49:57To go to Italy or wherever
00:49:59That's cool
00:50:01What blew me away
00:50:02Is that there are people out there
00:50:04Pursuing some passion of theirs
00:50:06Full force
00:50:07I mean, instead of doing something stupid
00:50:10Like having an affair
00:50:12Just because they feel empty
00:50:13Or sad
00:50:14Or uninspired
00:50:15They're taking this passion
00:50:17That could be put toward
00:50:19Blowing up their life
00:50:21And they're doing something positive with it
00:50:24Is
00:50:27Is there a
00:50:29Do you think it's possible
00:50:31That you're going through a midlife crisis?
00:50:35I think I'm too young
00:50:37Well, it seems like you're going through something
00:50:41I think I'm okay
00:50:44Well, you might not be the best judge
00:50:46Maybe the person that's in it
00:50:49Isn't able to see what's happening
00:50:50Kim, I'm just concerned
00:50:54That you're going to do something
00:50:55You might regret
00:50:56You're not thinking about having an affair, are you?
00:50:59No
00:50:59Mark
00:51:00I would never do anything to hurt you
00:51:03Hey
00:51:04Even if you have a really cynical view
00:51:08Like say that
00:51:09People are ultimately self-centered
00:51:12And do what they want
00:51:13I'm not going to do something
00:51:15That goes against my own best interest
00:51:18And it's in my own best interest
00:51:20To protect this relationship
00:51:21Okay
00:51:25I love you
00:51:29Hey
00:51:45Hi
00:51:46I read the pages you wrote today
00:51:53Yeah?
00:51:55So good
00:51:56So funny
00:51:58I was cracking up at everything
00:52:01Really?
00:52:02Yeah
00:52:02Of all the writers we know
00:52:06You are by far the best
00:52:09No
00:52:09Yeah
00:52:10It's been so long since you gave me a compliment, you know
00:52:16You're usually so good about it
00:52:18Everyone wants recognition and praise
00:52:21I know, right?
00:52:22Nothing
00:52:31Was you gonna do something?
00:52:33か surge
00:52:34Nothing
00:52:34Nothing
00:52:34I don't want to do something
00:52:35Oink
00:52:35Um
00:52:37雷
00:52:42Da
00:52:44Da
00:52:46Infusion
00:52:46Da
00:52:47Da
00:52:48Da
00:52:49Da
00:52:50Da
00:52:50Da
00:52:52it's a vision board a vision of the future or i don't know i guess it just represents what i want
00:53:03it's all 80s yeah the 1980s yes well like how is this a vision for the future
00:53:14i knew you wouldn't understand well i'm trying i'm i don't know maybe it's not a vision board
00:53:21exactly it's just i'm really into the 80s right now it's one of my passions i just want to
00:53:30immerse myself in it writing is one of your passions
00:53:34i appreciate your encouraging me to write
00:53:42but right now i just want to think about things that make me feel good
00:53:51so
00:54:00so
00:54:08so
00:54:17so
00:54:26so
00:54:35so
00:54:44so
00:54:52so
00:55:31so
00:55:40like the love of an honest and loyal person yeah instead of hooking up with randos
00:55:45well if britney's a rando sign me up okay well i need this job to last for years
00:55:50yeah okay so how you handle this is critically important our careers are on the line here
00:55:57i think what they're saying is uh don't shit where you eat
00:56:00he's not gonna cheat he's not gonna cheat i love kim i'm in love with kim
00:56:09i'm not buying you an i rock mark they're so affordable compared to a new car you can get
00:56:15one that's in great shape for like nothing
00:56:17but up until today you wanted a new volvo all the reviews say the new volvo is a very staid
00:56:24ride not exciting to drive solid but dull for nine years you've been driving a volvo and loved
00:56:30it so much so that you've been wanting another one up until today i did love it but now that
00:56:35i've been getting in touch with what i really want
00:56:38you know what it makes me really uncomfortable the way your opinion about something can change so
00:56:45completely hey
00:56:47i hear what you're saying but my opinion of you has never changed
00:56:54hey that will always stay the same you've been talking about getting a new volvo for
00:57:02months and now all of a sudden it's dead to you now you randomly want to buy a car that
00:57:08represents what was cool in the 80s like what is your obsession with the 80s it just seems like
00:57:12such a fun time i had the 90s the 90s sucked yeah the 80s were way better diana's best friend
00:57:21had an i rock and they let me ride around with them yeah but it's like that song you can't put
00:57:28your arms around a memory who sang that johnny thunders he was in the new york doll's
00:57:34i just feel like you're gonna screw me over someday
00:57:42how can you say that we've been together forever yeah maybe too long too long for me or for you
00:57:49well not for me i'm happy so am i i mean except for not knowing why i'm alive
00:57:54well maybe you should see someone i don't need a therapist i need an i rock
00:58:00i mean come on spend two hundred dollars an hour just to tell someone about how i spent
00:58:08seven years writing a book and it nearly killed me and it was published and i thought that was
00:58:13the holy grail but it turns out what you really want is for people to actually read it
00:58:18come on jonathan franzen wrote a whole thing about this about how people don't read challenging
00:58:24fiction anymore
00:58:25so what else do you do besides look at cars online
00:58:34i watched valley girl
00:58:37what that's not new to you you know it's my favorite movie and always has been
00:58:44why are you mad i'm not mad i just feel like you're refusing to do what would make you happy
00:58:52which is to start writing again i used to worry that there wasn't enough time to write all the
00:58:58books i had ideas for and now i can't think of one single idea it's like i have nothing to say
00:59:05the only thing i can think of is hey you know how we're all addicted to our phones doesn't that suck
00:59:12i'm sure you could come up with ideas if you tried you just have to get back into it
00:59:19what this is from malcolm gladwell he wrote this about um his running in a cross-country race when
00:59:29he was young
00:59:30i had done what everyone always says you were supposed to do as a human being i had given it my
00:59:38all and i realized that what everyone says you should always do was so painful that i never wanted
00:59:45to do it again
00:59:46we should have sex
00:59:55i wish you wouldn't always use the word should
00:59:58oh my gosh you're right i'm sorry i don't always say should it's just that lately
01:00:06if you're not up for it that's fine
01:00:08i'm up for it all right let's do it great
01:00:15hi i'm fred i like tacos and 71 cabernet my favorite color is magenta
01:00:23what
01:00:29i'm just in the middle of something
01:00:34supposedly you should never go into a meeting without knowing what you want
01:00:39no it's not that type of meeting they just want to celebrate the show starting production
01:00:43oh that's nice
01:00:45kim they're not going to help us get one of our scripts set up when we're already on a show
01:00:51it took months for this show to start if they sell one of your scripts maybe that'll take months
01:00:56to get going too and the timing would work out
01:00:58they don't want to do the work okay they're thrilled that we're on a job so they don't have
01:01:03to do anything in fact i'm sure they're going to push some of their clients on us try to pressure
01:01:08us into hiring them you could ask them to send out your movie script
01:01:11they didn't respond to it remember they don't have to respond to it they have to sell it
01:01:18yeah but then they'll say it's hard for them to sell it if they don't love it it's hard for
01:01:21you to work on shows you don't love but you do it and they take ten percent of your salary
01:01:26okay i'll tell them to put out our movie script they suck don't do it for my sake i mean if you
01:01:34want this celebratory dinner to be all about their agenda foisting their other clients on you if you
01:01:40can't ask for what you want okay you know what i want you know what i want i want to know what you
01:01:49did today what'd you do this is embarrassing but i did nothing did you watch valley grow again yeah
01:02:01when i'm watching it it's like it's like when you're sleeping and you're having this really
01:02:11good dream and you just don't want to wake up
01:02:15do i need to cancel dinner
01:02:18why because i'm concerned about you i'm fine
01:02:24can i ask you a question what is so terrible about our life that you need to escape it by
01:02:31watching valley girl over and over nothing i'm very grateful for her life and i know i'm out of
01:02:39integrity you know not being productive during the day when you're out working hard
01:02:44i know it's okay
01:02:47so what's happening with lisa she's in love she says he's the type of guy everybody loves
01:02:58they go to dinner parties at his friends houses and everybody's really nice and interesting and
01:03:04they tailgate at football games and she's buying lingerie and they have sex for like 10 hours straight
01:03:09good for her
01:03:11yeah
01:03:11she deserves that i'm happy for her me too that's good yeah
01:03:19well hey okay i gotta go
01:03:23no more valley girl
01:03:27how's it going
01:03:38how'd it go
01:03:42oh great
01:03:43they're gonna send out our pilots and the movie script they didn't even remember the way they
01:03:47reacted they were like oh yeah we love that script
01:03:50so what'd you do tonight
01:03:58oh there's all this excitement on facebook
01:04:00oh yeah why
01:04:01tommy clements changed his relationship status from married to single
01:04:06no way
01:04:08it's a big deal mark
01:04:10all of us girls were dming each other it was so fun
01:04:13why
01:04:13because it was like we were in high school again except instead of passing notes
01:04:17no no i mean why were you dming each other
01:04:19because everybody in my class loved tommy
01:04:22oh okay
01:04:24and now he's available somebody is going to get to marry him
01:04:29and there are a few really interesting candidates
01:04:33like who
01:04:34remember heather hampton she's gorgeous and she's single now too
01:04:38maybe she had like five kids
01:04:38Tommy has four
01:04:39Tommy has four
01:04:40jesus really
01:04:41i wonder why his wife divorced him
01:04:45why do you think she divorced him
01:04:47men never initiate divorce even if they're miserable
01:04:51yeah they just have affairs right
01:04:53practically the only time men initiate divorce is if the woman they're cheating with pushes them to do it
01:05:00did you get dessert tonight
01:05:05i did not
01:05:06why
01:05:07do you want me to bake you some chocolate chip cookies
01:05:10no no you were sleeping i'm not gonna come on
01:05:13i already made the dough
01:05:15i don't mind
01:05:16i should say no that's crazy
01:05:18it'll take ten minutes
01:05:19ten minutes
01:05:20ten minutes
01:05:21do you know you're the best human on the planet that's amazing
01:05:26you're gonna do that
01:05:27oh my god
01:05:28yeah best
01:05:29oh my god
01:05:30thank you
01:05:43I can't believe you're getting divorced.
01:06:09Yeah.
01:06:10But you and Mark, you guys have been together for what, like...
01:06:16Fifteen years.
01:06:17Wow.
01:06:19So what's the secret to a happy marriage?
01:06:24You have to like talking to each other.
01:06:30Obviously, you have to find each other physically attractive, too.
01:06:34But I think that's what keeps the physical attraction alive.
01:06:38You know, if you like talking to each other.
01:06:40So you like talking to Mark?
01:06:42Yeah.
01:06:44Then why are you talking to me?
01:06:51Is that your high school yearbook?
01:06:53Mm-hmm.
01:06:55Why are you looking at it?
01:06:56You didn't get enough of everyone on Facebook?
01:06:58I missed a young version of everyone.
01:07:01Who we were then.
01:07:03How was work?
01:07:03Hell.
01:07:07Everything's a battle with those people.
01:07:09How's the lead actress doing, Brittany?
01:07:13Good.
01:07:14She's funny.
01:07:15Oh.
01:07:17Has she been flirting with you?
01:07:20I don't know.
01:07:21Is she being overly solicitous?
01:07:25Cozy?
01:07:26Buddy-buddy?
01:07:27No.
01:07:29Covertly seductive?
01:07:32Overtly seductive?
01:07:33Super cute and charming?
01:07:35Hey.
01:07:37You have nothing to worry about.
01:07:40She knows you're married.
01:07:41She met me at the first taping.
01:07:44I thought I'd want to kill her.
01:07:47But I would never do that.
01:07:49Well, that's a relief.
01:07:50Because I'm terrified of prison.
01:07:52Hmm.
01:07:53Woo-hoo.
01:07:53Hmm.
01:08:54I wish I could take you out on a real date.
01:09:08I'd drive over to your place and take you to dinner and a movie.
01:09:13Or I could make a great meal for you.
01:09:16You cook.
01:09:16So you never think about moving back to Philly?
01:09:21No.
01:09:23I know you can't move back because of your work.
01:09:26Well, we can't move back.
01:09:27But sometimes, you know, I think it'd be cool to live there again.
01:09:38I mean, most people settle down where they grew up.
01:09:43There must be a reason for that.
01:09:45I mean, even famous people return to where they grew up.
01:09:48Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey and Jon Bon Jovi.
01:09:53Maybe it's healing.
01:09:54Yeah, I'm sure it is cathartic to buy a mansion and a horse farm right next to where you grew up struggling and broke.
01:09:59But we wouldn't be doing that.
01:10:00Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:01Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:02Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:03Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:04Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:05Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:06Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:07Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:08Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:09Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:10Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:11Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:12Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:13Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:14Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:15Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:17Like Bruce Springsteen lives in New Jersey.
01:10:18in this book they talk about how there is no easy street there's never a point at
01:10:44which you can just coast indefinitely that's depressing well it makes sense if you think
01:10:52about it i mean it's one thing to take a well-earned vacation or enjoy some downtime
01:10:58but if all you did was lie around on a beach forever you would stop being enjoyable
01:11:06there's some quote about how you're happiest when you're growing
01:11:09which involves pain discomfort
01:11:18just acknowledging that makes it more bearable
01:11:23not writing these past few months has been painful but not in a good way and now i have
01:11:30nothing to show for my time not even a lame draft of some chapters or anything
01:11:35yeah you could argue it's better to create stuff and be disappointed by the results than
01:11:45to not create anything at all and be depressed
01:11:52yeah
01:11:52i don't know what your interests are or what you care about really i mean other than the random
01:12:04stuff you post on facebook so it's hard for me to make up conversation for you i don't know what
01:12:10you'd say or what you talk to me about you know then let's not talk
01:12:21okay
01:12:41so what'd you do today nothing
01:12:47i got this from the la times today it's from the music critic randall roberts
01:12:54nostalgia by definition seldom moves a person forward and rarely satisfies in the long run
01:13:00i just wish i could talk to you you know i'm sure if we met up in real life it'd be so great
01:13:11maybe
01:13:12so
01:13:23how are you
01:13:26you look good
01:13:28you don't have to live here
01:13:30why didn't we that was one of the best nights of my life there's a sense of community you cook
01:13:35i'm a real date then why are you talking to me so what's the secret to a happy marriage
01:13:58you know how people point out that marriage was invented at a time when
01:14:03people didn't have a very long life expectancy
01:14:08like like it's a social construct that's maybe an unrealistic ideal now that the average life
01:14:14expectancy is 86 years old
01:14:19yeah
01:14:21i just mean
01:14:23is it natural
01:14:25to be in close captivity with one person for the majority of your life
01:14:28if if you love that person
01:14:32if you feel like they're the one that's most suited for you
01:14:36but do you think conventionality and fear caused two people to stay together for decades
01:14:42i mean at a certain point you know it's so familiar
01:14:45you know so much about each other you know what the other person's going to say
01:14:49well i don't always know what you're going to say yeah
01:14:54actually i don't always know what you're going to say either you're an interesting person
01:15:03but we know each other so well
01:15:08we've had a lot of great years and it's like you could say all right we're really good together
01:15:13we're very compatible and we've had a great run but now maybe we should just you know
01:15:21go have new experiences you know what are you saying
01:15:28i just wonder if we're staying together because it's familiar and comfortable
01:15:34because we're afraid well partly yes and i don't think there's anything wrong with that
01:15:38but just because something is new and different doesn't necessarily mean that it's better oh i know
01:15:45i know
01:15:48what are you getting at
01:15:53i don't know
01:15:57it's sunny 365 days a year
01:16:01there's palm trees right outside our front door it's a paradise here
01:16:04yeah you've been talking about moving back to philly and now you're questioning the institution of
01:16:11marriage because what would you want a shot at tommy clements or something
01:16:24seriously you really want to go out with this guy i just
01:16:28i miss him you miss him why do you miss him because he he was a nice person and we were friends
01:16:42i feel so nostalgic you don't even have anything in common with this guy have you been talking to
01:16:47him no are you talking to him on facebook no but you want to
01:16:50does he even know anything about what you're doing here does he know you're a writer
01:17:01i don't know probably not i got news for you this guy doesn't give a
01:17:05about anything you care about he's not going to read your book he probably hasn't cracked a
01:17:09book since college but for some reason you can't stop thinking about moving back home so you can what
01:17:14date them marry them what
01:17:22holy shit
01:17:25oh man what is happening kim
01:17:31why are you not responding to me
01:17:41i mean you can't be in love with this guy you you don't even know him anymore and even if you did
01:17:49how could you possibly have anything in common with him
01:17:56kim what is happening talk to me please is this whole thing is it because elisa
01:18:04because you see her dating now and she's falling in love with that guy
01:18:15i'm supportive i'm working my ass off for you i'm doing everything that i possibly can
01:18:21but i can't compete with your high school memories
01:18:36i can't believe this
01:18:41i can't believe this is happening
01:18:46say something
01:18:51will you say something
01:19:01you are breaking my fucking heart
01:19:07every day i get online and look at stupid shit for hours
01:19:13i can't stop myself and everybody back home they don't care that my book's not a success they
01:19:21don't care if i make it or not they just they accept me for me i accept you for you i know but in
01:19:29high school my dreams hadn't been crushed yet it's
01:19:31i don't even know what my dreams were back then
01:19:38but now here i am constantly reminded of everything i haven't achieved
01:19:50the only thing i care about is writing
01:19:53then write
01:19:53okay at first when i would think about you i'd get this buzz
01:20:02like this jolt of excitement and now there's absolutely no novelty or thrill just the misery of
01:20:08addiction i'm sorry i'm tired of these weak conversations we have it's so frustrating
01:20:15why can't you just make up interesting conversation for me then that's of no value to me
01:20:21i want to know what you'd say for real in real life that would be interesting to know
01:20:27well that's not going to happen
01:20:35yeah
01:20:39could you just go please
01:20:41then why are you always looking at it because i'm always getting texts from who
01:20:45how do i know it's not tommy because i wouldn't do that to you then who the hell's texting you all
01:20:49the time it's just lisa but you know what you're the one always looking at your phone
01:20:56in fact anytime i walk into the room you act guilty you like suddenly lower it yeah that's
01:21:02because i'm i'm looking at sports shit not text from the actress from britney no
01:21:09you know what i keep thinking about you forgave me pretty easily for almost leaving me for tommy
01:21:16i mean you've forgiven me pretty darn easily what are you getting at i think it's because
01:21:20you related to what i was going through maybe you think about shannon sometimes i mean you went
01:21:26out with her for two years you lost your virginity to her surely you think about her sometimes
01:21:33no i do not think about her at all
01:21:37you know what the difference between us is
01:21:38i'm honest about what i'm going through and you're not no the difference between us is i can
01:21:44handle upsetting truths and you cannot
01:21:50he's hot and he is your favorite person to be with how many people can say that after so many years
01:21:57years there's no better man who else is better there's no one you are completely compatible
01:22:09remember that time you were driving over the canyon and he was driving the opposite way and
01:22:14when he drove past you when you saw his car your heart skipped a beat
01:22:22it literally skipped a beat kim you threw it away because you couldn't stop looking at it no
01:22:27i just thought what keep it around it's a high school yearbook why would you throw it away okay
01:22:32yes i didn't want to keep looking at it but not because yeah because of tommy that's why no
01:22:38yes it is no i told you it's because i'm nostalgic that's bullshit i'm not looking back anymore okay
01:22:43i have a plan a plan yeah a plan for getting more grounded in the here and now for reconnecting
01:22:49it'll promote intimacy and foster goodwill what is it what's the plan we have sex or do something sexual
01:22:54every night okay all right okay that's a plan do you want to have sex like they do in the notebook
01:23:07up see how he's he's holding her arm up against the wall sexy if a nice guy's doing that but
01:23:14understandably most nice guys don't no there's his hand right there oh my gosh you're right
01:23:20oh wait she's higher this is it ryan's hand was down yeah
01:23:33this is good yeah
01:23:37she's shorter
01:23:38i thought you wanted to paint the room a different color well i know you like it this shade
01:23:52and when i started thinking about other colors there was nothing i could think of that i'd like better
01:23:58that i wouldn't get sick of you know remember the first time you asked me out
01:24:12you stopped me in the hallway you seemed nervous
01:24:15yeah
01:24:19that was a great day
01:24:29yeah
01:24:33yeah
01:24:37yeah
01:24:41it turns out I'm in the desert yeah yeah everyone who has a dream or a goal
01:24:57spends time in the desert sometimes years and years am I in the desert too
01:25:03you've attained one of your original big goals having a show but since there's
01:25:09more you want to do I guess you're still in the desert and what happens in the
01:25:14desert it's filled with uncertainty and danger lots of obstacles come up and you
01:25:23don't know if you're going to make it you want to turn back give up your goal
01:25:26anytime you have a chance it's something easier you want to settle for that but
01:25:31you shouldn't know you have to keep going
01:25:35so what's happening with Lisa and her insurance guy oh it didn't work out
01:25:44really they were crazy about each other having sex for 10 hours and I know
01:25:50it's hard to find the real thing
01:25:55hey did you see that post from Tommy Clements on Facebook no he announced his engagement what how
01:26:08could he already be engaged to some woman he met at the gym at the gym he proposed to
01:26:14her at a jam band music festival jam band thank God for what I'm just I'm really grateful for Mark I always
01:26:30enjoyed sex but it was a little bit like going to church I never felt like going but
01:26:36afterward I was glad I did but now that we've made it a nightly thing I look forward to it
01:26:44I mean who wouldn't want to feel good every night you know I know what I'm going to write next
01:27:13yeah for some reason I haven't been able to get invested in any of the plot lines I've thought of
01:27:20I don't want to make anything up right now I just want to write what I know
01:27:24so non-fiction what's the topic how to have a good marriage
01:27:30so
01:28:37You know I hate to say that, I think your girlfriend's got a boyfriend and I know, it's never easy when it happens though.
01:28:46I think your girlfriend's got a boyfriend and I know it's never easy when it happens though.
01:28:53I think she just got tired of, always being all alone.
01:29:01I think she just couldn't take it all, being lost on your list.
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