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Transcript
00:00Your Highness, welcome to America.
00:20Prince Philip, we must return to Lavinia.
00:24You simply cannot just escape your country and your royal duties.
00:30According to my mother, my royal duties include marrying someone who only loves me for my crown.
00:36A romantic.
00:38Sir, as your valet, I must insist we go home.
00:45It's not so few in America.
00:47The crime, the wild people.
00:49I hear everyone here owns a gun.
00:52Jeffrey, relax.
00:54No one knows who I am here.
00:56It's perfect.
01:00I think I'm going to like America.
01:09Oh, it's your mother.
01:11The Queen.
01:13Don't answer.
01:14I have to answer, sir.
01:15I'm not getting beheaded.
01:17She's the Queen.
01:19Oh, your majesty.
01:22Jeffrey, stop sniveling.
01:28I know exactly where you are.
01:30Put my son on.
01:32Good.
01:33Here we go.
01:34I heard that.
01:35Put him on speaker.
01:37It's for you.
01:39Why, hello, Mother.
01:40Hello, Philip.
01:41Did you really think you were going to run away without telling your father and me?
01:55Running away?
01:56Do you think that's a little bit harsh?
01:59Let's simply call it a vacation, Mother.
02:02An American vacation.
02:04Nonsense.
02:05I know exactly why you're there.
02:08You are trying to run away from your royal duty of getting married.
02:12Mother, we've been through this.
02:14I refuse to spend the rest of my life married to some snobby aristocrat.
02:19I want to find a normal girl.
02:22Someone who loves me for me.
02:24Oh.
02:25And just who are you?
02:27You are a prince.
02:30A prince who, whether he likes it or not, is getting married.
02:36Jeffrey?
02:37Please clear Philip's schedule today.
02:39He will be having a busy afternoon at the Bel Air Hotel.
02:43Busy afternoon?
02:46How does she know at the Bel Air Hotel?
02:49Oh.
02:50The palace.
02:52Just sent your itinerary.
02:54Oh.
02:55Oh.
02:56Oh, my goodness.
02:57What now?
02:58Nineteen bachelorettes.
03:01Scheduled back-to-back in precisely one hour at the hotel bar.
03:06And they're all of European aristocracy.
03:10Nineteen?
03:13She's impossible.
03:14Excuse me, sir.
03:15Mother wants me to go on a date with these women.
03:16I'll do it.
03:17But with a catch.
03:18I will give you $1,000 for that delightful outfit of yours.
03:20Would you prefer his suit or mine?
03:21I...
03:22I...
03:23Sir?
03:24With all due respect.
03:25You look...
03:26off.
03:27You look...
03:28off!
03:29You look...
03:30off!
03:31I will give you $1,000 for that delightful outfit of yours.
03:34Would you prefer his suit or mine?
03:50Sir, with all due respect, you look awful.
03:56Thank you, Jeffrey. That's the point.
03:58The sooner I get rid of these women, the sooner I can find my bride.
04:08Some girl names Philip.
04:12You down to party?
04:15You're Philip, the Prince of Livania?
04:18Sorry, just a little bit.
04:20Hi.
04:22No, girl. Prances can't be token.
04:25My God, you were repulsive.
04:30There's no way you're a Prince.
04:34Listen, I've been chilling with my homies on my vacay.
04:38Surfing, cruising, sleeping.
04:43And I'm most deaf.
04:44But we old, the Prince.
04:47What was that?
04:54One down.
04:5518 to go.
04:56And after university, I went to be with my horses in Scotland.
05:04But I couldn't stand all the peasants there.
05:07So I moved to Mallorca.
05:09But I forgot how unsophisticated the Spanish can be.
05:15When you become king of Livania,
05:17how big will your inheritance be?
05:20She has a boyfriend.
05:27She has a boyfriend.
05:30And speaking of inheritance,
05:34what will my bonus structure look like if we get married?
05:38How many millions are we talking here?
05:42I suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to wash my hands.
05:50Will you excuse me?
05:54No, no, no, I'm being normal, Geoffrey.
05:56I can get in the washroom by myself.
05:58Just look at what I'm there.
05:59Maggie, can you believe it?
06:10I've always dreamed of getting married and it's actually happening?
06:13With a dream guy?
06:16Doesn't get better than that.
06:18Speaking of dream guy, where's Devin?
06:22Hmm, I don't know.
06:24I was looking for him earlier.
06:26Maybe, I think he went outside.
06:28He was feeling a little overwhelmed with all the wedding planning.
06:32Well, he shouldn't be.
06:34And neither should you, boss.
06:36Maggie, don't call me boss.
06:39You're here as my best friend and maid of honor.
06:42Not an employee, okay?
06:44Well, as your best friend,
06:46I would like to remind you to look at your giant ring.
06:50You are the luckiest girl I know.
06:53Your life is a low-key fairy tale.
06:55What could possibly go wrong?
06:58Okay.
06:59Okay.
07:01Okay.
07:04Not here, Anna could see.
07:14I thought we need somewhere more private.
07:16Maybe in the bathroom in 10?
07:18Can't wait, babe.
07:26Oh, my God.
07:28I'm so sorry.
07:46Did I get you?
07:48No.
07:48No, I'm fine.
07:50Oh, just in case.
07:51Take this.
07:52Thank you, but it looks really special.
07:57That's all right.
07:58You're getting married, right?
08:01Consider this your something borrowed.
08:04And after you get married, you can give it back to me.
08:07Whoever it is, he is one lucky man.
08:12Thanks.
08:13Help me!
08:31I got you, Gary.
08:32Maybe you're right here.
08:33Oh, my God.
08:41That's that woman's fiancée.
08:45Screwing in Lou?
08:46What a bastard.
08:48If I were her, I'd want to know.
08:53Give it, baby.
08:55I'm in like a bike tire.
08:56Help me!
08:57I got you, Gary, baby, right here.
08:58Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
08:59Oh!
09:00Oh!
09:00Oh!
09:00Oh!
09:00Oh!
09:00Oh!
09:00Oh!
09:00Oh!
09:01Oh!
09:01Oh!
09:01Oh!
09:01Oh!
09:01Oh!
09:01Oh!
09:02Oh!
09:03Oh!
09:04Oh!
09:04Oh!
09:05Oh!
09:05Oh!
09:06Oh!
09:06Oh!
09:07Oh!
09:07Oh!
09:08Oh!
09:08Oh!
09:09Oh!
09:09This is cute.
09:10I love that.
09:11I love that.
09:13Devin and I are thrilled to have all of you here.
09:19I would like to thank my father, Michael, for hosting this engagement party.
09:24And of course, my dearest stepmother, Jessica, and my stepsister Regina for making this evening
09:30special as well.
09:31That's her stepsister?
09:32Bloody hell, what a country!
09:34We actually have a little surprise for everyone.
09:37As you all know, Devon and I love taking our trips.
09:40So, I've decided to make a little montage of all of our adventures together.
09:55Hey, there's been a mix-up.
09:57I'm a friend of Anna's from university.
09:59Could you play this video instead?
10:02Sure.
10:04Thanks.
10:05So much.
10:11Get a piggy! Pump me like a white tear! Pump me!
10:15No, no, no! I got your baby right here!
10:19What the hell is this?
10:25Get a piggy! Pump me like a white tear!
10:28Pump me!
10:29No, no, no! I got your baby right here!
10:31Oh!
10:32Is that Devon?
10:33Oh my God! With her step-sister Regina?
10:35Did she just say white-tired?
10:39What the hell is this?
10:42What the hell?!
10:43Turn it off!
10:46Turn it off!
10:47Oh no, what have I done?
10:48Devon, what is this?
10:49You're being an idiot, Anna! You know what's going on!
10:57You don't have an explanation, Devon!
11:00That bitch set us up and filmed us!
11:02Why would I film a sex tape at my own engagement party?
11:05You're honestly blaming this on me?
11:08Yeah! It is your fault!
11:10While you were dreaming about your tacky-ass wedding, I was satisfying your fiancé.
11:15At our engagement party?
11:17Well, everywhere actually!
11:20Three times in the bathroom, twice in your bed.
11:24Ooh, we actually broke the box spring!
11:28Ouch!
11:29Babe, are you alright?
11:33Anna, you crazy stupid bitch!
11:36What difference does it make?
11:38We're gonna tell you, after the wedding.
11:40After the wedding?
11:42You need to get married to get your mom's company.
11:44Why else do you think I'd marry you?
11:46Oh my God.
11:49You were using me to get to the company this whole time.
11:51What a genius!
11:55She finally gets it!
11:57Devon and I are engaged to be engaged!
12:02We were gonna get married as soon as the company was in his name, but...
12:06Now that you guys are over, the venue's already booked.
12:09We should probably just take your date!
12:12You and your mother are nothing but social-climbing, home-wrecking whores.
12:16How dare you!
12:17You a grateful bitch!
12:18Anna, don't speak to your mother like that.
12:20She is not my mother.
12:22Anna, stop!
12:23You're making a scene.
12:24My mom was dying.
12:25And you let this cancer of a woman into our family.
12:28I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh?
12:31Do you spread your legs for money too, Regina?
12:34You low-class twight!
12:37You take one more step towards me, and I will rip your extensions out of your head and shove those anthers up your ass!
12:45Oh yeah?
12:46Let's see you do that, you dumb hair!
12:50Let's see you do that, you dumb hair!
12:52Let me go!
12:53I can't avoid too much fake hair!
12:54It's not fake!
12:55It's extensions!
12:56No!
12:57No!
12:58No!
12:59No!
13:00No!
13:01No!
13:02No!
13:03No!
13:04No!
13:05No!
13:06No!
13:07No!
13:08No!
13:09No!
13:10No!
13:11Oh!
13:12Oh!
13:13It's scary!
13:14Oh!
13:15Oh!
13:16Oh!
13:17No-one messes with my tear!
13:20That's what I think of your cheap fucking dress, you little snowflake!
13:29You little snowflake.
13:39I know.
13:43You know what?
13:44I'm glad someone took that video.
13:47For two reasons.
13:48One, now I know what a cowardly asshole you are.
13:52And two, now everyone sees what I've known for years.
13:55That you have a micropenis.
13:59Oh, nothing to see here, guys.
14:05Please enjoy your drinks and no, I do not have a micropenis.
14:18Oh my God, I'm so stupid.
14:27I don't want to talk to you, Devin.
14:29Are you okay?
14:33I don't want to talk to you.
14:34I don't want to talk to you.
14:34I don't want to talk to you.
14:39I don't want to talk to you.
14:43I don't want to talk to you.
14:48Let's see.
14:49I just lost my fiancé, my company, and my entire family in front of everyone I know.
14:55So no, I'm not okay.
14:58If it's any condolence, he did have a rather small penis.
15:03I like your shirt.
15:09It's fun in a cheesy sort of way.
15:13You look like a tourist.
15:15She thinks I'm a tourist in a cheesy shirt?
15:18God, I love being treated like a normal person.
15:20I'm Anna.
15:22My name is Philip Bucky...
15:25Buck.
15:27Just plain old Philip Buck.
15:30Better not tell her I'm a prince.
15:32That'll ruin it for sure.
15:34Actually, I owe you an apology.
15:36What do you possibly have to apologize for?
15:40You didn't fuck my stepsister in a bathroom.
15:44I took the video.
15:48Oh.
15:52Wow.
16:01Well, if it wasn't for that video, I'd still be marrying an actor.
16:06I'm an asshole, so I guess I should be thanking you.
16:11You're my knight in shining armor.
16:14I'm here to serve.
16:15Here to serve?
16:17What, are you like royalty or something?
16:20No, no.
16:22No, I'm just a normal, normal guy visiting from a small European country called Lavinia.
16:32Lavinia?
16:34Never heard of it.
16:36Oh my God, she has no clue who I am.
16:38And she's nice to me.
16:39Just because.
16:41Well, Philip of Lavinia, welcome to the United States.
16:47And if you ever need a favor while you're out here, I owe you one.
16:52Okay.
16:53Here, let me.
16:57Okay.
16:58Here, let me.
17:00Meno!
17:01Meno!
17:02Meno!
17:03Meno!
17:03Meno!
17:08What the fuck?
17:10What are you doing?
17:16Pardon?
17:18You heard me, dipshit.
17:20It's between me and my fiancé.
17:21From the looks of it,
17:23I don't think this young woman is your fiancé anymore.
17:28Anna, please come back to the party.
17:32You're making a scene.
17:34I'm making a scene?
17:35What about your sex tape, Devin?
17:39I'm fucking your sister.
17:41So what?
17:42If you and I can still get married,
17:44what we have is a business deal.
17:47You said you loved me.
17:49Boo-hoo.
17:51Get over it.
17:52I lied, so what?
17:54You leave me and you lose everything,
17:58including the company.
18:00Is that what you want?
18:01I will never marry you.
18:04You'll regret it.
18:06I mean, look at you.
18:07You'll use goods anyways.
18:09Who would even want you?
18:13Leave.
18:15You heard her.
18:17Leave.
18:18What are you going to do about it?
18:20Pussy-ass bitch!
18:21Oh!
18:21Oh!
18:34Oh!
18:35That!
18:37Philip!
18:39Cutie!
18:40Oh, goodness, no.
18:41Where have you been?
18:43Philip, how could you leave me like that?
18:45Wait until I tell your mother.
18:48My mother?
18:48You are a prince.
18:51A prince, whomever he likes it or not,
18:53is getting married.
18:55I may need that favor.
18:58Sorry.
18:58Who the hell is this skank?
19:06This is Anna.
19:08My fiancée.
19:10Fiancée?
19:11You're engaged to a civilian?
19:13The royal family will be livid when they hear about this.
19:21Engaged?
19:22Shit.
19:23What the fuck?
19:25Yes!
19:25Hey, hey, get off!
19:27What the fuck?
19:28Get your hands!
19:29Get off of me!
19:29Follow me!
19:30You know what I can see what it's worth?
19:31My family is about me!
19:32I'm ready to get you, you fuck!
19:33Get off of me!
19:35Excuse me, sir.
19:37Everything's been taken care of.
19:40Are those your bodyguards?
19:42Who are you?
19:44No.
19:54Thank you, sir.
19:55And please extend my gratitude to the manager.
19:58Your response time was fantastic.
20:01You may go about your security hotel business.
20:08Have a great day.
20:09God, the security in this hotel is the best.
20:18I feel so safe.
20:20What was all that about the royal family will be furious?
20:24Are you a secret prince or something?
20:27No.
20:28No, I'm a gardener for the Lavinian royal family for the mansion here in L.A.
20:39Then what about all that stuff about your mom is going to be so mad?
20:43Oh, that's because my mother's trying to set me up on a date.
20:47She wants me to be with a European woman.
20:49And she will be livid if I were to marry an American woman.
20:54Sounds like you need to marry someone to get your mom off your back.
20:58And you need to marry someone to gain control of your company.
21:07Do you want to get married?
21:09On behalf of the power vested in me by the state of California, sir, I must protest.
21:29You cannot marry a stranger.
21:31Your wife must be prepared for the very important job.
21:38Who is this?
21:39This?
21:40Uncle.
21:42My uncle.
21:42It's Uncle Geoffrey.
21:43Uncle Geoffrey, calm down.
21:46She has no idea that I'm a prince.
21:48She's...
21:49I am so sorry.
21:54Um, please continue.
21:55I don't pronounce you man and wife.
22:05This is the part we kiss.
22:07Oh.
22:08Oh.
22:08Um...
22:08Maybe a high-five?
22:19Well, we're married.
22:22That's a farce.
22:24Yeah, America does some things pretty well.
22:26Like, quickie weddings.
22:28Oh, my lord, it's you.
22:29I'd know your face anywhere.
22:31Oh, I can't believe it's you.
22:33Oh, it's you.
22:34No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:38Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:43Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:45Is she okay?
22:46I'm sure she's vile.
22:48Geoffrey has her.
22:49What?
22:49What did she say, though?
22:51Why did she say she knew your face?
22:53Shit.
22:55Old women.
22:56They get confused easily.
22:57Shall we?
23:01The prince of Lavinia.
23:04I-I just saw him. Where is he?
23:06Oh, I don't know. I think he just, uh, hits your head.
23:09Oh, well, I have been a royal watcher all my life. I know that it was him.
23:14Oh, but, um, it was the prince.
23:17But he's, uh, he's undercover as a civilian because, uh, he's on a secret mission.
23:24His life is at least. Your allegiance to the queen is appreciated.
23:30Oh, fascinating. Why, you can count on me, of course, to keep your secret, too.
23:40Your very handsome.
23:49So, partners?
23:53Partners. Now fight against our families. Whatever they may bring.
23:57Oh, uh, put your number in. I might need you in the next coming days.
24:02Things will get a little bumpy.
24:05Will we be tearing out more hair extensions?
24:08Hopefully not, but you never know.
24:18I can't believe you just married a complete stranger!
24:27I can't believe you married a stranger!
24:32She's an American!
24:33Lavinia, is that even a real place? He could be making it up!
24:37She's probably a drug dealer, for all we know.
24:39Did you know that 60% of Americans sell drugs?
24:43He could be a serial killer!
24:45He's not a serial killer.
24:48He's actually very charming.
24:49And hot.
24:50The best serial killers always are.
24:52True.
24:54But seriously, he's totally just a normal guy.
24:57You've just ended an engagement.
24:59You can't go falling for some rando because he has an accent!
25:02I'm not.
25:03It's just business.
25:06She's not a drug dealer, Jeffrey.
25:09She's...
25:11lovely.
25:12She'll make a great princess.
25:19Princess?
25:21Sir, you said this was a business deal.
25:24You can't actually be serious about this marriage.
25:30I'm a prince, Jeffrey.
25:32I'm allowed to change my mind.
25:36Mummy and Daddy own a small home here, don't they?
25:40Call the movers.
25:42I like the mansion, Jeffrey.
25:59But we're going to need a bigger garden.
26:02I'm a gardener, after all.
26:05I'll call a landscaper, sir.
26:08Yes.
26:10So good.
26:10Let's get started.
26:16Anna?
26:18The lawyer says the contract's ready.
26:19Are you sure you don't want me to go with you to meet your family?
26:25I just don't want you to go alone.
26:27I won't be alone.
26:29That's what fake husbands are for.
26:38Please leave your message after the tone.
26:49Hi, Philip.
26:51It's Anna.
26:52I needed your help this morning, so call me back whenever you get the chance.
26:57You know what?
27:00Uh, forget that.
27:02I'll come to you.
27:11I'll come to you.
27:21I'll get you three suits by Friday.
27:37Brilliant.
27:38Thank you, Gustav.
27:39I know you're busy with your runway show.
27:42Anything for the prince?
27:44Your highness, there is a woman here to see you.
27:46She says her name is Anna.
27:48Tell her to meet me in the garden.
27:50Well, I'll finish later, Gustav.
27:51Oh, my God.
28:06He's so hot.
28:10Excuse me.
28:11I'm looking for my husband.
28:13It was a pleasant surprise.
28:16I'm sorry.
28:16I didn't dress for the occasion.
28:19No, it's fine.
28:19You're hot.
28:21It's hot outside today, and you don't need one.
28:28Stop staring at his chest.
28:30So many muscles.
28:32So, how did you become the royal gardener?
28:35Well, um, my mother was a maid here.
28:41They offered me the job because the royal family was building their vacation home here for the winter time.
28:49Your highness.
28:53Highness?
29:05It's a joke.
29:10We all like to joke around here, and we say your highness to each other.
29:14Oh, shoot.
29:19Your highness.
29:21Your highness.
29:25I came here because, uh, I actually needed your help with something.
29:30You might need a shirt for this.
29:35Come, come.
29:50Good morning, family.
29:53What are you doing here?
29:54Shouldn't you be alone contemplating your celibacy and drowning in your own tears?
29:59I came to discuss company affairs, actually.
30:02That's from my lawyer.
30:06He'll be handling my contract for my transition as CEO.
30:09It doesn't matter what lawyer you hire, Anna.
30:11Now that you're no longer engaged, you can't be a CEO.
30:14No marriage, no company.
30:17I'll be acting CEO.
30:19I don't make the bylaws.
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