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The.Neighborhood.S08E01

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00:00Hey, babe, I got the cake.
00:10Calvin, I told you to get the big one.
00:12This is the big one.
00:14Any cake bigger than this, a naked lady would have to pop out of.
00:19I just want tonight to be special.
00:21Malcolm hasn't been home in forever.
00:23Well, he has been home.
00:25His home is in Venice Beach now.
00:27Are you really trying to pick a fight with me after buying that little-ass cake?
00:32Oh, oh, oh, that's Malcolm, that's Malcolm.
00:35Mommy's coming!
00:36Oh, look at me.
00:38Hey, I...
00:40It's just them.
00:44No mind, Tina, she was just hoping you guys were Malcolm.
00:47Aw, I can only imagine how much you miss him.
00:50We are never letting Grover move out.
00:52No way, I am out of here the moment I turn 40.
00:5540?
00:56Aw.
00:57Oh, look at you, Daphne!
01:02She's getting so big.
01:03Give me, give me, give me, give me.
01:04Oh, hi!
01:06Hey, sorry.
01:07Courtney's running a little bit late.
01:08Her building's being converted into condos, so she is apartment hunting.
01:12Apartment hunting?
01:13Doesn't she live with you?
01:14She doesn't live there, per se.
01:16Oh, that's right.
01:18She just eats, sleeps, babes, and raises their child there.
01:21That's all.
01:21Mama, I know, but every time I bring it up, she changes the subject, so clearly she's worried
01:27that moving in feels so permanent.
01:29I'm sorry, is, uh, is Daphne a temporary baby?
01:35You know, Marty, I was going to ask you, uh, that email you sent, uh, I don't get it.
01:39Who's this Al guy?
01:40What Al guy?
01:42Well, you keep saying, Al's going to handle the payroll, Al's putting out the schedules.
01:46Who's Al?
01:48Nobody's Al, Daddy.
01:49It's A-I.
01:52Well, it-it looks like Al.
01:54I mean, it wouldn't kill you to put some dots in there.
01:56Besides, I don't want to have anything to do with this A.I. stuff.
02:00Calvin, you got to embrace A.I.
02:02Look, it's the future.
02:04Well, the future's dumb.
02:06Sorry, Calvin.
02:07Dave's obsessed with this stuff, ever since he started training in A.I. at work.
02:10Yeah, it does all of my grunt work for me, so I can just concentrate on the stuff I really
02:14care about.
02:15Oh, like creating images of me as a mermaid?
02:19I just wanted to see.
02:23Crap, I'm at 2%.
02:25Uh, Mr. Calvin, what kind of phone charger do you have?
02:30Charger?
02:31I don't even know what kind of phone I have.
02:34I hate how much time he spends on that phone.
02:37Well, at least your son didn't leave you and move to the very edge of America.
02:42Well, no, but he's at a new school now.
02:45I used to be able to keep an eye on him all day.
02:47Now who knows what he's doing?
02:48Do you know that she tracks him on her phone all day?
02:51She does?
02:52Mm-hmm.
02:52Wow.
02:53That's, uh, that's crazy.
02:57Oh, oh, that's Malcolm.
02:59Answer me, baby.
03:00I'm all flowered up.
03:01Hey, baby.
03:02Are you on your way?
03:03Yeah, hey, hey, hey, mama.
03:04Listen, about that, um, you know that romance novel that I'm ghostwriting?
03:09Oh, the one for the real housewife?
03:10Uh, yeah, hey, Gemma.
03:12Um, listen, her people just sent me, like, 14 pages worth of notes.
03:18I'm gonna have to stay here tonight and work on the book.
03:21Just wanted to let you know before you went to too much trouble.
03:25Oh, okay.
03:26Well, thank you, Malcolm.
03:27That was very, um, considerate of you.
03:29I love you.
03:31Mm.
03:38You think don't...
03:39Oh!
03:43Should we go?
03:44I would if I could.
03:45Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood, welcome to the door.
03:58Babe?
03:59Babe, what are you doing?
04:01Just getting rid of all the leftovers since there's nobody here to eat them.
04:05Okay, Tina, stop.
04:07I'm here to eat them.
04:08Fine, knock yourself out.
04:10Babe, you'll see Malcolm soon, okay?
04:12Not just Malcolm.
04:14Um, sure, Marty is still next door, but he and Courtney are like their own little family.
04:18I feel weird every time I pop in late at night to kiss the baby.
04:23You should feel weird about that.
04:27I'm a mother, Calvin.
04:28I've got no one to mother.
04:30Might as well just shove me down the disposal, push the button, and hold it.
04:36Wow, that is dark.
04:39I just miss our baby.
04:41I don't get to make my own work schedule.
04:43You got a chance to see Malcolm three times last week.
04:46Well, it's not because I wanted to.
04:50Malcolm's house is falling apart, and he's roped me into fixing it.
04:55You know, today, I got to go re-bracket his damn bookshelves.
05:00Well, I've got nothing.
05:02You have a career that you love.
05:07You have your health, and you have a sexy husband who loves you.
05:13Beyond that, nothing.
05:17Come on, Tina.
05:18This is an opportunity.
05:20You're a vibrant woman with your whole life ahead of you.
05:23It's a new chapter.
05:24Seize it.
05:24All right, all right.
05:28I'm going to.
05:29I just got to figure out what my next thing is.
05:32Oh, you know what?
05:32I read about this place that teaches you how to pole dance.
05:37I said my thing.
05:40It's for exercise.
05:41Hey, everybody.
05:51Hey, Marty.
05:52I'm putting you down as a reference for my new apartment.
05:55Okay.
05:56Yeah, it's expensive, but it comes with parking.
05:59Oh, hey.
06:00You know where else is parking?
06:01My house.
06:03Oh, yeah.
06:05Thing is, I'm just not ready to take a big step like that.
06:09But it's not a big step.
06:10In fact, it's no step.
06:12You already spent so much time there, and almost all of your stuff is there.
06:16You're right.
06:17But I can't move in with someone who's allergic to cats.
06:21You don't have a cat.
06:24Not now, no.
06:25But I'm just not ready to say I will never have a cat.
06:29You don't even like cats.
06:34David, I just want to take this opportunity to commend you for your work implementing our
06:38new AI program.
06:39I'm very pleased.
06:41Oh, well, thank you, Gregory.
06:43I'm flattered.
06:44AI wrote that for me.
06:47Well, it really captured your personality.
06:52Just FYI, from this point forward, I'll be freeballing.
06:56Understood.
06:57Look, AI has been great.
06:59It has freed up so much of my time by doing my grunt work for me, so now I can just focus
07:03on being a big picture guy.
07:04Yes, I've noticed you've been using AI to send the veterans reminders about their counseling
07:09appointments.
07:09It has reduced no-shows by 10%.
07:12Which is great.
07:14But a few of the veterans have been startled by the avatar.
07:19Kitty the clown?
07:21Yeah, what is that?
07:23But it's a cat clown.
07:28Cat head.
07:29Clown body.
07:32Maybe pick one.
07:34These people have been through war.
07:36Let's be gentle with them.
07:38Understood.
07:39I'll go full clown.
07:41Hmm.
07:41How about full cat?
07:43I think that's a mistake, but okay.
07:48Yes, I got your notes for chapter two, and they are great.
07:52But, you know, just thinking out loud, you say you want Serafina and Trent to make love
07:59on the beach, but it's Chicago in December.
08:05No, no, no.
08:06I'm sorry.
08:06I'm saying it doesn't, it doesn't, okay, I'm sorry.
08:10Can you hold on for one second, please?
08:13Hey, Pop.
08:13Hey, Malcolm.
08:15Have you seen the refills from a glue gun?
08:21Hey, Pop.
08:23All right.
08:25Two bookshelves done, six to go.
08:27Okay.
08:28Look, thank you again, Pop, but the old bookshelves were just fine, okay?
08:34I didn't even ask you to do any of this, man.
08:36What kind of father would I be if you had to ask?
08:39Speaking of which, you know, you might want to raise these ceilings, and we can do that
08:43together.
08:45No, no, no, no, no.
08:46No, we can't, because, hey, I'm on a Zoom call with Mercedes Assistants getting some notes,
08:50so I just need some peace and quiet.
08:52Oh, wait, wait.
08:53Yeah.
08:53Enough said.
08:54Okay.
08:54I do not want to disturb the artistes out of California.
08:57All right, I'll just finish this up here, and we'll go grab some lunch.
09:01No, no.
09:02Hey, Pop, I can't go to lunch, because...
09:04Oh, who are all these people?
09:07Yeah, I'm on a Zoom call.
09:09Okay, I'm sorry about that.
09:11Hello!
09:13I'm Malcolm's dad, Calvin.
09:15Just, just...
09:16Look, look, I'm just going to tighten up a couple more screws.
09:20I'll drill quiet.
09:22No, no, no, Pop, you can't drill quietly.
09:24Just...
09:24Oh, my God, woman.
09:33Are you still tracking Grover?
09:36I can't help it.
09:37It's so scary having a kid in high school.
09:40I'm not his principal anymore.
09:42Grover's whole life, I've been able to keep an eye on him.
09:45But now the bell rings at the end of the day, and he's just out in the world.
09:48It's hard to let go.
09:50I know.
09:51I'm in the same boat.
09:52I still can't get used to Malcolm being all the way across town.
09:56Yeah, but Malcolm's, like, 36.
09:59So what's your point, Gemma?
10:02No point, same boat.
10:06Uh-oh.
10:07Grover's on the move.
10:08Oh, where is he?
10:08He's three blocks from his school.
10:11Someplace called Slow Grind?
10:13What the hell is Slow Grind?
10:15Oh, my God, is it a strip club?
10:18It's a coffee shop.
10:21Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
10:23Good.
10:24Just going to text him to make sure he got a decaf.
10:27I mean, you'd think after having a baby, we'd be past this whole big step thing.
10:32But I don't want to push her, because then she'll feel pushed, and no one wants to feel pushed,
10:36you know what I mean?
10:37Oh, that is awful.
10:43I would recognize that accent anyway.
10:46Hey, hey, hey, Pop, Pop, man, look.
10:48I said I can't go to lunch.
10:49Oh, I know.
10:51That's why I brought lunch to you.
10:55Got us some jerk chicken burritos.
10:58Only individual tub of guac.
11:01That's because I'm considering, you know?
11:03Hey, look, Pop, I appreciate that you are trying to help.
11:06But I never ask for shelves, and I never ask for lunch.
11:09Just tell me what you need, man.
11:13I need some peace and quiet.
11:15I need you to go.
11:16Oh.
11:20Oh.
11:23Huh?
11:23Yeah.
11:24Wait.
11:25Well, I'll get...
11:25No, I'll just take my burritos and my individual guac, and, uh...
11:31I'll take them to the guys down in Muscle Beach.
11:33I'm sure they'll appreciate the protein.
11:37Don't, don't.
11:38Don't be like that, Daddy.
11:41Wow.
11:42Oh, shut the hell up, Martin.
11:52Good, you're home early.
11:54Oh, so how's my first-born baby boy?
11:56Well, he's a grown man, Tina.
11:58He's already had a prostate exam.
12:00Well, he's still my baby.
12:03You know what?
12:05I finally had to put my foot down.
12:06Oh.
12:07That's it.
12:07You're just too needy.
12:09You're gonna have to take some responsibility for your own life.
12:12Oh, good for you, baby.
12:13Yeah.
12:13And guess what?
12:14I finally found my thing.
12:20See, I've been thinking, what was something that I always wanted to do?
12:25A vacuum under the sofa?
12:27No, Calvin.
12:31Although I did, but no.
12:33You and I are gonna learn how to salsa dance.
12:37I bought a course on YouTube.
12:38Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
12:39I thought this was about you finding your thing.
12:42It is my thing.
12:43And my thing is dancing salsa with my very sexy husband, who loves me.
12:49All right, salsa fans, get ready for lesson numero uno.
13:02Whoa, whoa, how many lessons are there?
13:0425.
13:07We learned to move this couch 25 times.
13:15Oh, hey, babe.
13:15What are you doing home so early?
13:20Oh, well, thanks to AI, I got a week's worth of intake forms done in an hour.
13:25Freed up my whole afternoon.
13:27Oh, did you start dinner?
13:28No.
13:30But I took a picture of everything in the fridge,
13:33and AI came up with 14 potential recipes.
13:36Look at that.
13:36Okay.
13:38We have bigger problems.
13:39Have you heard from Grover?
13:40No.
13:41Have you checked his location?
13:42Why would I?
13:43He's a big kid now, and I trust his judgment.
13:45Based on what?
13:48You're right.
13:49What am I saying?
13:50Damn it.
13:51He turned his location off.
13:52Yeah, four hours ago.
13:54Last place I have him is someplace called Slow Grind?
13:57What kind of sleazy...
13:58No, it's a coffee shop, Dave.
14:01Where has he been?
14:03That's just it.
14:04We don't know where he's been.
14:05He could be at a drug den.
14:07Yeah, or a dope house.
14:10What's the difference?
14:11I don't know.
14:11I've never been to either.
14:14What's up, y'all?
14:15Ah!
14:16Dear God!
14:17Grover!
14:18Thank God!
14:19Where have you been?
14:21Upstairs.
14:22Why are your locations off?
14:25What?
14:25I don't know.
14:25Oh, my phone died when I was getting coffee after school.
14:28Okay, you know what?
14:29I'm getting you one of those batteries
14:30that snaps onto the back of your phone.
14:32Oh, sure.
14:32I'll remember to charge that.
14:33Hi, Dap-Dap.
14:41Mommy's home.
14:43Hi.
14:44Ha!
14:47What?
14:49Nothing.
14:49It's just, you called this place home,
14:52and yet you've made it abundantly clear
14:54this ain't your home.
14:57Well, I'm just keeping it simple for the baby.
15:00Oh, okay.
15:01Marty, do you have something to say?
15:04You know what?
15:05I do.
15:07I simply don't understand
15:08why you insist on paying rent for a place
15:10that's basically storage
15:11for your ski boots and high school yearbooks,
15:14all because you won't admit
15:15we are living together.
15:17Okay.
15:18Yes.
15:19It is a little scary for me.
15:21At this point,
15:22how could it be scary?
15:23Can we please lose a puppet?
15:25Look, I...
15:30I always thought that I would find my soulmate
15:32by starting with a hypothesis,
15:34collecting data points,
15:35maybe a spreadsheet or two.
15:37But then that whole plan went out the window.
15:40I got pregnant.
15:42I had a baby.
15:44Then I got feelings.
15:47Courtney, I get it.
15:49This was the last thing I was expecting.
15:52Statistically,
15:53the idea that a woman
15:54I accidentally impregnated
15:55would be my soulmate.
15:57The odds are infinitesimally low,
16:00but I like to think of our relationship
16:02like the butterfly effect.
16:04One tiny fluctuation
16:07that changed our whole universe.
16:11The patterns are random,
16:12but there is beauty in entropy.
16:14Yeah.
16:18There is.
16:21Okay.
16:23Mm!
16:23But hey,
16:24if I'm gonna live here,
16:25these curtains
16:26have got to go.
16:28Okay, yeah, duh.
16:29Let's go.
16:35Yes.
16:36Yes!
16:38And out.
16:39Out.
16:39Out.
16:40Out.
16:41Out.
16:44Out.
16:48Oh!
16:49Oh, my God!
16:50Oh, my goodness.
16:52Oh, my goodness.
16:52That was muy caliente, Calvin.
16:56Well, I told you,
16:58these hips don't lie.
16:58Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
17:00Oh.
17:01Ooh.
17:01Well, she and I do,
17:03we would find something
17:04to fill that void.
17:05Oh, well,
17:05it doesn't fill the whole void,
17:07but it helps.
17:09Yeah.
17:10You know, you were right, Calvin.
17:13I'm not as strong as you.
17:14Yeah.
17:15Oh, come on now, Tina.
17:16Don't beat yourself up.
17:17I mean, I'm just...
17:19I'm built different.
17:20You know, that's the thing.
17:21Mm-hmm.
17:22Mm-hmm.
17:23Hey, y'all.
17:24Oh, come on.
17:25Come on.
17:26Hey, hey, mama.
17:27Hey, hey, mama.
17:28Oh, come on.
17:29Oh, come on.
17:30Hey, mama.
17:31Good to see you.
17:32Oh.
17:33I'm sorry.
17:33Can you give me one minute?
17:34I need to apologize to Pop.
17:36No.
17:36No.
17:37We good, man.
17:37Hey.
17:39No.
17:40No.
17:40Hey.
17:41We're not good, Pop.
17:42I just, I didn't mean to be so rude.
17:43Hey, you weren't.
17:44So, you know, let's let it go.
17:48No, no, listen.
17:49I got that place because I needed peace and quiet for my work.
17:52But it was just rude of me to kick you out the way I did.
17:55Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
17:57Kick you out?
17:58Yeah.
17:59Well, I thought you were the one who put your foot down.
18:02Yeah.
18:03Look how, babe, it was so long ago.
18:04Like, who knows who said what, you know?
18:08Well, well, Pop, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
18:11Man, I saw the pain in your eyes when you grabbed that burrito.
18:14Oh.
18:17Well, I guess we're built kind of the same, huh?
18:23Oh, no, no, I thought I saw your car.
18:26Hey, man.
18:27It's good to have you back.
18:28But y'all come on in.
18:29We're going to celebrate.
18:30I'm going to heat up that leftover fish.
18:31Damn it, Calvin.
18:32Why you let me put so much down the sink?
18:37Hey, hey, everybody.
18:38Hey.
18:41Oh, hey, Dad.
18:42Are you okay?
18:43When Malcolm kicked you out earlier, I heard the hurt in your voice.
18:46Hold on now with all that.
18:50Oh, hey, this is kind of perfect that you're all here
18:52because we have some big news.
18:54What?
18:55Oh.
18:56I know this is kind of unexpected, but I'm moving in with Marty.
19:03Wow.
19:04Wow.
19:05That's wild.
19:07Congrats.
19:08Yeah.
19:09Thanks, everyone.
19:10I think we should celebrate.
19:11We should.
19:12You know what, Tina?
19:13Let's show them how we do it.
19:14Let's show them how we do it, baby.
19:15Oh, uh-oh.
19:17Uh-oh.
19:18Oh.
19:19Here we go.
19:20Hey.
19:25Woo!
19:26Oh, yes!
19:27Woo!
19:28Does anybody have a phone charger?
19:30Come on.
19:31Hey, boss.
19:32You wanted to see me?
19:45Have a seat, David.
19:46I assume you know why you're here.
19:48Oh.
19:49Uh-oh.
19:50You want to tell me how awesome I'm doing?
19:52Uh-uh.
19:53So you don't know why you're here.
19:56David, your AI model has worked out great.
20:01I knew it would.
20:02So great that the people upstairs have decided they can effectuate a workplace realignment.
20:09Uh-oh.
20:10Oh, no.
20:11Uh-
20:14Not Chet.
20:18Not Chet.
20:21Thank goodness.
20:22Oh, my goodness.
20:23Not Gilbert.
20:26Gilbert's good.
20:27I can see I'm gonna have to go about this a little more directly.
20:31David, I need you to clear out your office.
20:34Oh.
20:35Well, which office am I moving into?
20:41Dear God.
20:44Oh.
20:45Well, Gregory, I really don't think I should be drinking in the middle of a work day.
20:54Oh, no.
21:05Hey, I just need to help you.
21:06Hey.
21:07Hey.
21:08Hello.
21:09Hey.
21:10Hey.
21:11Let's see you guys.
21:12You can go, you're welcome.
21:13Hey.
21:14Hey.
21:15Hey.
21:16Hey.
21:17Hey.
21:18Hey.
21:19Hey.
21:20Hey.
21:21Hey.
21:22Hey.
21:24Hey.
21:25Hey.
21:26Hey.
21:27Hey.
21:28Hey.
21:29Hey.
21:30Hey.
21:31Hey.
21:32Hey.
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