Parenting across faiths: Buddhism and Jainism | Where Race Meets Religion - video Dailymotion

AsiaOne

[Where Race Meets Religion] Aakash and Nicole's interfaith marriage bridges Jainism and Buddhism, as they raise their son to embrace both faiths with curiosity and compassion.  Watch more: https://www.asiaone.com/video

Transcript

00:00To be honest, I've known him for a while, right, as friends.

00:04I never knew that he's Indian.

00:08Nah, then this is the tumeric ceremony.

00:11Yeah, everyone was nice to her and not too much.

00:14Too nice to him.

00:17Every day is like a different, different ceremony.

00:21So like, you are literally having like four weddings to be exact.

00:25Because for us Chinese, it's only a one-day event.

00:27But for us, it's like a four different day kind of thing.

00:30Yeah.

00:31So, each day has a certain part of the memory that we hold close to.

00:42So, a little backstory, how we reconnected was,

00:47I think probably five, six years after we lost contact,

00:52and then one night on Facebook, I saw her post something emotional.

00:56So, I just dropped her a text saying that,

00:58Hey, you okay?

01:00And then, ended up we were texting for almost nine hours,

01:04and none of us wanted to go to sleep.

01:07And we met like subsequently the next few days.

01:10Continuously the next few days.

01:12So, we both knew there was something strong there.

01:15Like, the spark was there.

01:17Do you remember the first time you met each other's family?

01:20Yeah.

01:21I met her family first.

01:23Yeah, my mother.

01:25It was all very casual la.

01:26It was casual, then we just went for a simple dinner.

01:29Yeah, so, her mum and her brother are easy going.

01:35Her brother also was more reserved.

01:37It took him one year to properly start opening,

01:40for him to open up and have a proper conversation.

01:43You know, a few words, a few words answers.

01:46That's it.

01:47Yeah, but my mum fell in love with him, like, almost instantly la.

01:50Everything he did, my mum will always say is okay.

01:54You also must reflect on yourself.

01:56Maybe you are too harsh on him.

01:58You are not easy going also.

01:59Yeah, sometimes we have a disagreement.

02:01Yeah.

02:02Our mum will support me and scold the doctor.

02:05You know, but it's alright.

02:07Yeah, so.

02:09Were there any changes in our lives that more of you had to do?

02:14For me, I think a lot more.

02:16For a start, it's waking up early in the morning.

02:18Like, they really wake up really early, like 7am,

02:20and then you have to go to the kitchen to help out.

02:23For breakfast, lunch, pack the teeth in.

02:26So for me, that wasn't something that I'm used to.

02:29But I make the effort to wake up.

02:31I make an effort to cook dishes that they like.

02:34But of course, a lot of times, they might not get used to the taste.

02:38So slowly, slowly, I will kind of know what kind of things they like.

02:42And then I'll cook something that is more suited to their taste,

02:44and eventually it receives good feedbacks.

02:47Yeah, but it takes a while to get used to it, the differences.

02:56Yeah.

02:57Okay, me and Akash are very different people.

02:58So we kind of like compliment each other in a way.

02:59I'm more of a creative person, and Akash is more into numbers,

03:01and also he's more rigid in his schedule also.

03:03For me, I'm a lot more flexible.

03:05And he's a lot into more accounting, finances kind of things.

03:07And for me, I'm very bad at that.

03:08So just nice that he can be the one who do all our bills together and all that.

03:09So without him, I'm lost.

03:10Like they say opposite track.

03:11She is a bit more outspoken.

03:12She is more, she is more creative than all the things.

03:14And for me, I'm more into numbers.

03:15And also, he's more rigid in his schedule also.

03:17For me, I'm a lot more flexible.

03:18And he's a lot into more like accounting, finances kind of things.

03:21And for me, I'm very bad at that.

03:22So just nice that he can be the one who do all our bills together and all that.

03:23So without him, I'm lost.

03:24Like they say opposites attract.

03:26She's a bit more outspoken.

03:27She's more extrovert in that sense.

03:29More friendly.

03:30Starting, I will be a bit more reserved.

03:31But after I met her, I changed slowly.

03:34I realised that I'm starting to become a bit more extrovert.

03:37I will say most of the time,

03:39more friendly starting I'll be a bit more reserved but after I met her I changed slowly I realized

03:47that I'm starting to become a bit more extrovert I would say most of the time we go out together

03:54whether meeting her friends or my friends yeah so I know his friends he knows my friends so I feel

04:00that that's actually a very good part of our relationship there there there is no clashes

04:07in terms of like our lifestyle so since young I've been brought up in a Buddhist family and since

04:23young my dad brings me to all the Dharma classes the Buddhism teaching that I knew is always to look

04:29within and you always have to better yourself there's no such thing as like comparison because

04:35it's still boils down to nothingness correct I feel that if it wasn't for the Buddhist teaching

04:40since young I might not be able to be so open-minded to many things and especially to his religion

04:46so a Purushan for what I know I'm not really familiar with that but I know it's one of their holiest period

05:01of the year and a lot of them do fasting during that period so during this period Akash has not done

05:10fasting but he he will he will be more strict in terms of his diet and for for my support is our

05:17definitely cook up something that is suitable for his diet during that period so I would say Jainism is in

05:25fact very close to Buddhism there's a lot of practices we do a lot of prayers in fact some some prayers are

05:33exactly the same prayers and just that one is done Chinese one is done Indian so even you have Buddha and we

05:41had for Buddhism you have Buddha for Jainism we have Mabir in in fact they look quite similar so the first day I

05:51came to his place and I saw the portrait and I was like that's actually Buddha not at all actually I

06:05I do feel that actually Jainism is kind of like um something that I should work towards because they

06:12are like a a stricter kind of Buddhism like for Buddhism if we say vegetarian we mean no onion garlic

06:19eggs but for them they do it like one one step higher they don't even do like roots vegetables

06:24anything that's underground no greens sometimes no greens sometimes no greens also so for me that

06:30is actually quite complimentary and I do not see and so far I do not see any parts of Jainism and Buddhism

06:38being of which we do not agree yeah there's no pleasure so far that I've seen it's all quite linear in a

06:45way seeing them being so strict in terms of the way they live is kind of like a wake-up call and

06:54it's something that you know constantly remind me that hey Nicole you need to you need to start going

07:00back you know back back to your faith and all that so I feel that that's kind of like a reminder time to

07:07time for me for me is that now having a meal together became like a norm for me it never used to be a

07:26norm it's more of like we're just settling our hunger kind of thing but now having a meal together

07:32seems like it's like a thing that we have to do every day someone with our son so we try to have a

07:39meal with him no distractions no no TV nothing so we are just conversing with him and at least he also

07:46learns that meal time is important firstly I'm not a vegetarian right my mother you know did she did requested

07:53for me to you know for us to raise Dayton as a vegetarian first and I also feel that it's good for him

08:01so that's the reason why we are raising Dayton as a vegetarian yeah faith-wise um faith-wise I think

08:09what we will do is we will teach him both currently what we are practicing is that uh Dayton will prepare

08:16the morning prayers with him yeah so he will go into the kitchen and get the offerings and then he will

08:22do the prayer with him in the morning every day and then for me is that every month during the lunar

08:27calendar days the first day and the 15th day I will definitely bring him to the temple so he he is currently

08:33being exposed to both uh both religions I want him to respect every religion so for him to respect every

08:42religion he should be exposed to all of them as much as possible and he should learn about them

08:47also so he knows how to be sensitive to certain religions at certain timings which is good because

08:55his parents are sensitive in that sense to certain religions at certain timings in that sense

09:01what can faith each Nathan have growing up one thing is be kind don't cause harm whether verbally or physically to

09:14people animals I feel that there should be a balance in him that he cannot take all these um things for

09:21granted and he should always uh know that this yeah and all these things are just things at the end of the

09:29day and what we can take away with us when we leave this world is something that is not um that cannot

09:37be it's not tangible right so I only want my son to be happy and healthy and safe always just that

09:45whatever he he he he does in the future I I will not um I will not judge at all so long as he's happy

09:55then I'm good being an F1 driver no not F1 driver no too dangerous we'll see about that

Parenting across faiths: Buddhism and Jainism | Where Race Meets Religion

Category

Transcript

Be the first to comment

Recommended