Roofman 2025 full Comedy crime movie Channing Tatum Kirsten Dunst Ben Mendelsohn LaKeith Stanfield #Roofman #Action #Thriller #Heist #CrimeDrama #Suspense #CatAndMouse #HighStakes #2025Movie #Gritty #Intense #Chase #Antihero #EdgeOfYourSeat #MustWatchAct
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00you gotta get your passport ready okay what are you thinking we don't need to change that hair
00:00:05before we take the photo i think we do a wig it's good right you got to be kidding me this
00:00:10is a panty drop bar oh my god i'm not a bad guy good morning team i just made some bad choices
00:00:19you gotta help me man you sound crazy find a safe place to hide for a few months
00:00:27i would like to introduce you to someone would you like to go out with me yes i would i would
00:00:34very much really very much like to go out on a date with you police believe the roof man may still be
00:00:40in the area what the oh my god you can't expect me to go on christmas right i mean can't just stay
00:00:50old house i have a plan i like you just need to slow it down a little bit okay i need you to take
00:00:58the ink bomb out oops you got to cover your trash any message you made whatever you did you can quit
00:01:07i can fix this i'm gonna push it just a little bit okay all right all right
00:01:14you guys okay mother yeah
00:01:19third fourth what do you mean oh have you been thinking about calling this off for a while
00:01:31well i took your online compatibility test and he scored a 12. okay that test helps predict long
00:01:38term compatibility caller you're right to consider this very very carefully 43 percent of marriages end
00:01:46in divorce all right you don't want that how long have you known this guy about five months but he's a
00:01:51really good guy and all and five months sofia are you scared of being alone i guess so maybe yeah
00:02:00because you know what's scarier than being alone you know what's worse being alone with the wrong guy
00:02:07for the rest of your life you got it doesn't sound like your average case of pre-wedding jitters
00:02:11wait are you saying i should call off the wedding i'm running out of time caller but you know
00:02:17deep inside what you need to do thank you for calling good luck
00:02:35knock knock who's there this is your publisher speaking we don't want any
00:02:41read them and weep oh really there's any one way to find out
00:02:47no no i'm too nervous you read it
00:02:51the doctor is in the first book from local talk radio sensation dr emma lloyd real love establishes
00:02:57lloyd as the latest koja of modern romance the latest what what do they call me koja apparently
00:03:03i don't know what that means do you know what that means i don't even know how to spell it
00:03:07hey h what kind of word is koja oh i mean they just show our love really okay
00:03:11for a popular magazine to review a self-help book and pull out a word like
00:03:17koja from the turkish hoka a a title of respect for a teacher
00:03:22b a wise man or woman oh or c a subsect of ancient ismali assassins
00:03:29hmm let's go with a for teacher shall we i don't know no the um the assassin thing i wouldn't throw
00:03:34that out i just love those people from new york magazine bonafide geniuses do you think i
00:03:38should write them a thank you note what's some of those fruit baskets people seem to love fruit
00:03:41mmm i love fruit yeah well that's why i'm marrying you my coja
00:03:49we're not done we're not done in comic
00:03:55dr lloyd's analysis of love's do's and don'ts is both insightful and trenchant trenchant what the
00:04:00hell does that mean is that some kind of fancy word for full of shit trenchant direct and incisive
00:04:05action give me a break smart in what i saw it on jeopardy i mean why don't they just say read
00:04:09the book ruin your life why did they just say that why don't you read the sports page to us huh
00:04:13physical gifts can offer such insightful observations into the human heart is a thing of
00:04:18wonderful trouble one o'clock chicken soup for the heart oh my ass hey hey sophia hello so here we go
00:04:28hey i'm reading about that very nice lady that helped you plunge a knife in my heart
00:04:32very trenchant stuff i can't talk right now because i gotta be someplace oh come on give me a ride
00:04:37hey fellas stop the truck so come on you haven't returned any of my calls well i've been busy
00:04:46sophia give the guy a break talk to him so i can't oh don't do that so come out here sophia
00:04:56please come out here so we can talk
00:04:58no no no no not you sir you can put your hands down firemen we don't arrest people no we'll hose you
00:05:06down though sophia i'm not gonna go anywhere until you come out here
00:05:18i don't understand you know one minute where we're getting married and we're talking about names for our
00:05:22kids and the next because of some fruitcake to the doctor of what sophia of what talk to me
00:05:31patrick it's over i'm sorry okay it's over
00:05:40i gotta go
00:05:41all right show's over folks let's keep it moving huh what are you looking at
00:05:51and that's what i really like all my friends tell me he's wrong for me what do your friends say
00:05:55that we have nothing in common it's just the sex i'm just running away from many more appropriate
00:06:00men who pursue me because i'm afraid of the real thing so they say
00:06:14so
00:06:28quiet leave the man alone can you not see that his heart is broken
00:06:35how can he eat when the woman that he loved abandoned him forever virtually without explanation
00:06:41and maybe at this very moment cock-holding him with some other man
00:06:54good night everybody
00:06:55cock-holding him what does that mean
00:07:11hey i'll be right with you i'm just giving ann coulter's frequent flyer mouse michael moore
00:07:34aj come on man this hacking's getting out of hand you know you get some serious trouble here too late
00:07:38bon voyage mr moore you see that clipping on the love doctor's running plans yeah who in the
00:07:43right mind's gonna marry a woman like that whoever we want what do you mean check this out
00:07:52who's that it's her the love doctor i got off her birth certificate oh i don't know about this aj
00:08:00what are you talking about all you ever do is walk around muttering about
00:08:03giving her a piece of your mind or letting her have it or fixing your wagon okay for one i've never
00:08:08said fix a wagon well if you've moved on that's different i'm happy you finally put this behind you
00:08:14all right wait whoa
00:08:18maybe me telling her how i feel and holding her accountable would be you know important for my growth
00:08:24or whatever what do you think what am i your yogi i thought you just wanted a little payback
00:08:34let's do it nice oh no hey you're married uh i'm married i'm what already married according to
00:08:45who according to whom according to whom the state of new york that's impossible yes there must be some
00:08:49mistake i have never been married you must have the wrong emma lloyd emeline willing lloyd
00:08:58your real name is emily apparently there are a lot of things you don't know about her
00:09:01how do we fix this annulment forms fill them out have them notarized bring them back
00:09:07i can't believe i didn't know that and your husband needs to sign them too uh fiance husband
00:09:13i don't have a husband then who is patrick thomas sullivan of astoria new york yes who is he i don't
00:09:19know he's your husband address right there astoria queens don't worry i know a lawyer who can sort
00:09:26this out quietly i'm sure that won't be necessary i'm afraid it will darling i've got a book to launch
00:09:30yours i might add richard you don't really think no no no it's not that it's just the timing of this
00:09:36could not be worse i know you know i'm in the middle of recalling 70 000 copies of a very
00:09:40moving memoir by a new author that we've trumpeted as an ex maya angelou who turns out to have
00:09:44plagiarized guess who maya angela i forgot about that one well i didn't and now the headline love
00:09:49doctor a polygamist just flashed before my eyes hold these and on top of everything else there's the
00:09:55bollenbecher takeover and you know they haven't announced which publishers they'll be keeping and
00:09:58which publishers they'll be dumping so one self-help author who can't seem to help herself from being
00:10:02already married in abingdon books could be history darling i understand completely trust me i'll take
00:10:08care of it everything will be fine oh no darling naughty chalky
00:10:16you don't need this no you're absolutely right but it's a moment of weakness
00:10:19a moment of organizational biasDidan
00:10:21go get him taxi bye sweetie
00:10:31foreign
00:10:35Hello?
00:11:02Hello?
00:11:04Hello?
00:11:05Hello?
00:11:06Excuse me, you're not Patrick Sullivan, are you?
00:11:17You are?
00:11:18No.
00:11:19May I help you?
00:11:20I hope so.
00:11:21Is this 2301 33rd Street?
00:11:23Yes, it is.
00:11:24I'm looking for someone who's supposed to live here by the unlikely name of Patrick Sullivan.
00:11:27Patrick.
00:11:28Where are you?
00:11:30Bye.
00:11:31Keep going, tall lady.
00:11:32Keep going.
00:11:33Excuse me?
00:11:34Excuse me, sir?
00:11:35Officer?
00:11:36Hello?
00:11:37Excuse me?
00:11:38Excuse me, sir?
00:11:39Officer?
00:11:40Hello?
00:11:41Whoa!
00:11:42Whoa!
00:11:43Whoa!
00:11:44Whoa!
00:11:45Hey.
00:11:46Hey, I'm sorry.
00:11:47I...
00:11:48No, no, no.
00:11:49It's fine.
00:11:50Um, can you tell me how I can find Patrick Sullivan?
00:11:54You're not going to believe this, but that home wrecking lady from the radio just walked
00:11:55in here.
00:11:56Oh, I believe you.
00:11:57I'm so screwed.
00:11:58What is she doing here?
00:11:59I'm looking for Patrick Sullivan.
00:12:00Hey.
00:12:01Hey, I'm sorry.
00:12:02Hey, I'm sorry.
00:12:03I...
00:12:04No, no, no.
00:12:05It's fine.
00:12:06Um, can you tell me how I can find Patrick Sullivan?
00:12:07Um, can you tell me how I can find Patrick Sullivan?
00:12:10I'm going to get that lady out of here.
00:12:11You got 500 pounds.
00:12:12Yeah.
00:12:13She knocked in the head with the skillet.
00:12:14The frying pan.
00:12:15Right.
00:12:16Patrick, can you get him?
00:12:17Yeah.
00:12:18You're not going to believe this, but that home wrecking lady from the radio just walked
00:12:21in here.
00:12:22Oh, I believe you.
00:12:23You're screwed.
00:12:24What is she doing here?
00:12:25I'm looking for Patrick Sullivan.
00:12:26I was told at the fire station he might be here.
00:12:27Right over there.
00:12:28He just looked over here.
00:12:29What are you having?
00:12:30Um, whatever he's having.
00:12:32Yeah, bring him right over.
00:12:33He's walking right this way.
00:12:36He's taking his coat off.
00:12:37How do you do?
00:12:38It just looked at me again.
00:12:40It's coming over here.
00:12:41It's coming right for me.
00:12:42What does it want?
00:12:44Patrick Sullivan?
00:12:47You're not an easy man to find.
00:12:49I'm Emma Lloyd.
00:12:50He thinks I'm you.
00:12:51Help me out here, huh?
00:12:52Hey, I, uh, I dropped my chalk.
00:12:54I'm Patrick Sullivan.
00:12:55This is my opponent, Larry Burleson.
00:12:57Oh!
00:12:58Mr. Sullivan?
00:12:59Mr. Burleson?
00:13:00How do you do?
00:13:01I'm here for the oddest of reasons.
00:13:02Well, we all are, sweetheart.
00:13:03You are.
00:13:04This might?
00:13:05Sure.
00:13:06Do you mind if I interrupted your game for just a moment?
00:13:07Yeah, knock yourself out.
00:13:08No, no, no.
00:13:09I didn't mean...
00:13:10Well, you don't play.
00:13:11Well, yes, I can, actually.
00:13:12Then you have stripes.
00:13:13Down the hatch.
00:13:14No, no, Mr. Sullivan.
00:13:15Perhaps I can get you an oval tea.
00:13:21Night in the corner.
00:13:26Tony, we're gonna need a round over here.
00:13:27Mr. Sullivan.
00:13:28Yeah?
00:13:29Something very unfortunate has happened, and it could really make a mess of my life.
00:13:31I'm sorry to hear that.
00:13:32No, no, no, no.
00:13:33It's certainly not your fault.
00:13:34It's still your shot.
00:13:35Um, all right.
00:13:37Well, how can I explain?
00:13:38You see, um...
00:13:39Uh, I'm about to be married.
00:13:41Oh!
00:13:42That was too bad.
00:13:43Congratulations on the whole other thing.
00:13:45Hey, hey, everybody!
00:13:46We got a bride in our midst, don't we?
00:13:47Hey!
00:13:48We need another round over here.
00:13:49Thank you about that.
00:13:50That won't be necessary.
00:13:51Oh, no, it's necessary.
00:13:52I feel a toast coming on.
00:13:53Wait a second.
00:13:54I know you.
00:13:55Excuse me?
00:13:56Yeah, yeah.
00:13:57Real love with Dr. Emma Lloyd.
00:13:59You're that lady I hear on the radio.
00:14:01Yes, of course.
00:14:02Yeah, you found me out.
00:14:03Have you ever been on television?
00:14:04Um, no, but I have a book coming out.
00:14:06I love television.
00:14:07You know, my girlfriend, she never misses your show.
00:14:09Oh, well, has it been helpful in your relationship?
00:14:12Oh, you have no idea.
00:14:14It's completely changed their lives.
00:14:15Oh, really?
00:14:16Yeah.
00:14:17That is so nice to hear.
00:14:18Here you go.
00:14:19To the bride!
00:14:20It never changed in life.
00:14:21To the bride!
00:14:22Hey!
00:14:23Mr. Sullivan, as I was saying, you see, I'm about to be married.
00:14:28Thanks, darling.
00:14:29Hey, you should be careful about that.
00:14:30You know 43% of marriages end in divorce?
00:14:32That's right.
00:14:33That's right.
00:14:34It's all about picking the right partner.
00:14:35That's so true.
00:14:36It's so true.
00:14:37In order to do that, my fiancee Richard and I, we need a license from the state of New
00:14:41York.
00:14:42You remember Richie from dispatch?
00:14:43Asshole.
00:14:44Come on.
00:14:45Right.
00:14:46So on an otherwise perfectly lovely morning, we go down to City Hall.
00:14:47Tamara and Richie!
00:14:48Emma and Richie!
00:14:49Richard!
00:14:50And I don't want any more.
00:14:51What am I trying to tell you?
00:14:52Hey, you're right.
00:14:53You know, you probably didn't want Richie to see y'all hammer before he wasn't there.
00:14:55Hey, Tony, why don't you give me that herbal tea over here?
00:14:57Herbal tea coming up.
00:14:58One for me, Tony.
00:14:59Very funny, Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:00Very funny.
00:15:01I'll have you know I don't get drunk.
00:15:02Oh, you don't?
00:15:03Oh, my father taught me a very good trick in regard to holding one's liquor.
00:15:04You simply recite the president's names in order.
00:15:05Hello?
00:15:06Forwards or backwards?
00:15:07Watch and learn, gentlemen.
00:15:08To Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Madison, and Monroe.
00:15:09Carter!
00:15:10Carter!
00:15:11Reagan!
00:15:12Reagan!
00:15:13Bush!
00:15:14Bush!
00:15:15Hey, do you think maybe we should pour you into a cab at this point?
00:15:17Maybe your fiancée's getting a little worried.
00:15:18Oh, yes, that's right.
00:15:19That is exactly what I came to talk to you about.
00:15:20Okay.
00:15:21Yes.
00:15:22Mrs. Sullivan.
00:15:23Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:24Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:25Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:26Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:27Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:28Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:29Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:30Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:31Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:32Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:33Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:34Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:36Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:37Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:38Mr. Sullivan.
00:15:39It seems we're married.
00:15:40Come again?
00:15:41We are married!
00:15:44Don't you marry Richard?
00:15:46Exactly.
00:15:47I'm over here.
00:15:48Rich.
00:15:49Er, yes.
00:15:50It seems that we, I-I mean, we are the innocent victims of a glitch.
00:15:55Some computer somewhere somehow Nathan has married us.
00:15:59A glitch?
00:16:00Mm-mm.
00:16:01I'll say, a big one.
00:16:02Oh, boy.
00:16:03So, um, if, um, you just be-
00:16:06So kind, as she's signing these papers, I...
00:16:10Oh!
00:16:11Oh!
00:16:12Oh!
00:16:13Oh!
00:16:14Oh!
00:16:15Oh!
00:16:16Oh!
00:16:17Washington.
00:16:18Madison.
00:16:19Adamson.
00:16:20Oh, you're a fireman.
00:16:22Indeed I am.
00:16:23I always thanked you guys.
00:16:28The bikes are out now.
00:16:30Damn!
00:16:36Ugh.
00:17:02Sorry about that.
00:17:06You're wrong.
00:17:24Ouch.
00:17:36Uh-uh.
00:17:38That's right.
00:17:40I'm not...
00:17:41...a man.
00:17:42I don't know.
00:17:43I don't know.
00:17:44Oh, my God.
00:17:46I don't know.
00:17:47Oh, my God.
00:17:53Oh, my God.
00:17:54Oh, my God.
00:17:56Oh, my God.
00:17:58Yeah, I don't know.
00:18:00I don't know that.
00:18:01Sorry.
00:18:02Oh.
00:18:03Ugh.
00:18:04Uh-uh.
00:18:05Ah.
00:18:06Oh.
00:18:07Oh.
00:18:08Oh.
00:18:09Oh.
00:18:10Oh.
00:18:15Oh.
00:18:17Oh!
00:18:18Oh!
00:18:20Hey?
00:18:21Hello?
00:18:22Oh my.
00:18:25Oh my.
00:18:27Oh!
00:18:28Oh!
00:18:29Oh my.
00:18:30Oh my god!
00:18:35Oh my god!
00:18:39Oh my god!
00:18:43Oh my god.
00:18:45Oh!
00:18:51Zumbie.
00:18:54Good morning, Dr. Lloyd.
00:19:18Good morning.
00:19:20Great.
00:19:21I'm going to have a rough night.
00:19:22Oh, yeah.
00:19:24Oh, my.
00:19:33I need the emergency outfit.
00:19:35What?
00:19:35The emergency outfit.
00:19:36The outfit I keep for emergencies.
00:19:37I need it.
00:19:38Richard called six and a half times.
00:19:40The last time he hung up, I think he knew he was looking a little desperate.
00:19:42Is he worried about the ballenbacker takeover?
00:19:44Can you get it for me, please?
00:19:45On the phone?
00:19:45Why do you do that?
00:19:47Because it's fun.
00:19:48The outfit?
00:19:48Not here.
00:19:50I had a date.
00:19:51Did you know that we're not even remotely the same size?
00:19:53Richard, aspirin, coffee.
00:19:56Oh, and your father?
00:19:56Now.
00:19:57Please hold.
00:19:58Richard, line one.
00:20:03Richard, sweetheart.
00:20:04I am so sorry I didn't call.
00:20:07I was already in Queens, and so I thought I'd stay at my father's and go over wedding stuff.
00:20:10And he brought you in this morning with your mom's wedding dress.
00:20:14You brought me back in this morning with my mom's wedding dress.
00:20:17And your father's here.
00:20:18She knows that.
00:20:19But never mind that.
00:20:20What about Sullivan?
00:20:21It's beautiful.
00:20:22Yes, I found Sullivan.
00:20:24Coffee while a horse.
00:20:25I'd love some.
00:20:26Aspric?
00:20:26I've got the papers.
00:20:27You're welcome.
00:20:28No, no, no, not on me.
00:20:29Do you know where the coffee filter thing is?
00:20:31I don't work here.
00:20:32I know they have to be notarized.
00:20:33Oh, sure.
00:20:34Don't worry about anything.
00:20:35I have everything under control.
00:20:37You have enough on your plate without having to worry about this.
00:20:39No, don't.
00:20:40Emma, your husband would like to be a word for me?
00:20:43Who?
00:20:43Patrick Sullivan.
00:20:46Sweetheart, can you hold, please?
00:20:49Not a word.
00:20:53Ah, Mr. Sullivan?
00:20:54Yes, hey.
00:20:55Let me get to the point.
00:20:56I believe I left some very important documents in your...
00:20:58Richard, phone.
00:21:00Can you just hold on one teeny tiny little second?
00:21:02Well, don't go away.
00:21:05Richard, sweetheart, I am so sorry to keep you holding.
00:21:08Yes.
00:21:09I'll explain everything at the cake tasting.
00:21:11But you promised.
00:21:13All right.
00:21:14Okay.
00:21:17Husband, cell.
00:21:18Oh, Mr. Sullivan?
00:21:20Mr. Sullivan?
00:21:21Dr. Lloyd's office?
00:21:22Wilder here.
00:21:22Mr. Sullivan, hello?
00:21:24Oh.
00:21:24Is your father on two?
00:21:25Gotta run, darling.
00:21:26See you later.
00:21:27Aren't you gonna wait for your coffee, Wilder?
00:21:29Nobody's got that kind of thing.
00:21:30I don't know what you think you're smirking about.
00:21:32Wilder.
00:21:33No, no, honey.
00:21:33I'm just glad to see you're having some fun.
00:21:35Does it look like I'm having fun?
00:21:36Wait.
00:21:38You drove all the way in just to bring Mom's dress?
00:21:41Well, actually, I was hoping to lure you over to Bemelman's for a banana split like the old days.
00:21:47Bemelman's has been closed for ten years.
00:21:49Ah, well, my timing's always been a little off.
00:21:52Don't keep your husbands waiting.
00:21:54It's not what you think.
00:21:55Yeah, I know.
00:21:57Mr. Sullivan?
00:21:58Hey, hey.
00:21:58Thank you so much for calling back.
00:21:59No problem.
00:22:00Yes, is it?
00:22:01Excuse me?
00:22:01What do you want?
00:22:02Cars downstairs.
00:22:03You're late.
00:22:03Mr. Sullivan?
00:22:04Yeah.
00:22:05Yes.
00:22:05About last night.
00:22:06Yeah.
00:22:07What exactly happened?
00:22:08Well, I'll tell you this.
00:22:08You do one hell of a remnant.
00:22:10Uh-huh.
00:22:11Well, that doesn't sound like me at all.
00:22:13And that wasn't even the good part.
00:22:14What do you mean that wasn't the good part?
00:22:15I'm here.
00:22:16I'm here.
00:22:16You're where?
00:22:17Hey, I'm losing you.
00:22:18Hello?
00:22:20Can you hear me now?
00:22:21Look, forget last night.
00:22:22What I want is a rather large stack of papers that I need you to sign.
00:22:25I've got them right here.
00:22:26You do?
00:22:26You made my day.
00:22:28Coffee?
00:22:31You know, I know a notary not far from here.
00:22:33Right now?
00:22:33I just had this appointment.
00:22:34It took me three months to get.
00:22:35That sounds important.
00:22:36It is.
00:22:37It's a cake tasting.
00:22:37Like I said, important stuff.
00:22:39It's the wedding cake.
00:22:40And she's Marilyn Hirschfield.
00:22:42She's a very respected cake maker.
00:22:43These appointments are very hard.
00:22:44I love cake.
00:22:45What are you doing?
00:22:45Well, scoot over.
00:22:46Hey!
00:22:48This cake is fantastic.
00:22:49Shh, please, please.
00:22:51Hey, can I get another slice of this one, please?
00:22:53I believe you've already tried the buttercream, sir.
00:22:55It's not me.
00:22:56It's my fiancée.
00:22:56She's on the fence about the buttercream.
00:22:58I am not.
00:22:59Hey, excuse me.
00:22:59You don't have any milk back there, do you?
00:23:00Sure.
00:23:01So after this, we go to the notary, right?
00:23:02Yeah, absolutely.
00:23:03Hey, how much is this?
00:23:04It's free, sir.
00:23:06Bullshit!
00:23:07It's free.
00:23:09Here you are, sir.
00:23:09There's my milk.
00:23:11Would you like a sip?
00:23:12No, thank you.
00:23:13I'm not six.
00:23:15Holy crap.
00:23:17Cake down.
00:23:18I need a spoon.
00:23:19Oh, don't worry about it.
00:23:20I got this out.
00:23:20And here we have our dark Belgian chocolate with vanilla mousse torques.
00:23:25That's awesome.
00:23:30Oh, my God.
00:23:31You know, if you mix these two together, it tastes just like a ring ding.
00:23:34Maybe you gotta try this.
00:23:35No, no, no.
00:23:36No, no, no.
00:23:36No, no, no.
00:23:37Not your baby.
00:23:38No, no, no, no.
00:23:39No.
00:23:40Ah.
00:23:41Huh?
00:23:42Huh?
00:23:44Hmm.
00:23:45It's yummy.
00:23:46It's super duper.
00:23:47Mm-hmm.
00:23:47Um, may I, um, may I have just one more glass of milk, please?
00:23:51Attagirl.
00:23:52Milk for my bride.
00:23:53In fact, milk's all around.
00:23:54Milk's all around.
00:23:56Hey, where are you ladies from?
00:23:58Germany.
00:23:59Wow.
00:23:59You must really like cake.
00:24:01Yeah, you gotta try this.
00:24:02And mix these two together.
00:24:03Hey, hey, can we get the, can we get some ring ding things for the gals over here, please?
00:24:07Darling, I am certain that everyone is being attended to.
00:24:09Baby, I got this covered.
00:24:10Don't you worry about it.
00:24:11All right.
00:24:12Quite a handful you got there.
00:24:14That is impulsive, unpredictable.
00:24:17You never know what he's gonna do next.
00:24:19Full of surprises.
00:24:21But that's the fun of it, though, isn't it?
00:24:23Of course it is.
00:24:24It is.
00:24:24Trust me.
00:24:26Oh, it reminds me of my husband when we first met.
00:24:29Everybody thought we were a total mismatch, but we had so much fun, and we still do 25
00:24:35years later.
00:24:36Hey, what are you ladies talking about over here?
00:24:38I know.
00:24:38We're talking about the men in our lives.
00:24:40Ah, boys.
00:24:40Girls, stop.
00:24:41Never mind.
00:24:42How did you two meet?
00:24:45Oh, honey, you tell the story.
00:24:47You tell it a lot better than I do.
00:24:49No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:24:50No, you tell it.
00:24:51You're the good, uh, teller of it.
00:24:53All right, all right, sure.
00:24:56You ladies ever heard of pro wrestling?
00:24:58Stop!
00:24:59Kidder.
00:25:00Oh, he's such a kidder.
00:25:01Kidder.
00:25:02It was a, um, uh, a blind date.
00:25:05Oh.
00:25:06Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:25:06We were fixed up.
00:25:08Yes, that's right.
00:25:08Fixed up, but not with each other.
00:25:10It was two separate blind dates in the same bar.
00:25:12Both going terribly.
00:25:14Horribly.
00:25:15It makes you think about those people who set us up.
00:25:17Susie and Alan.
00:25:18Susie and Alan.
00:25:19What the hell did they know?
00:25:20I don't know.
00:25:21Anyway, I guess he noticed me.
00:25:23Well, I'm gonna come on.
00:25:25Look at her.
00:25:26A guy would have to be blind.
00:25:28Noticed me suffering on my bad date.
00:25:31And then the band started playing this song,
00:25:33and it was my favorite song.
00:25:35And suddenly he was next to me,
00:25:37and he asked me to dance,
00:25:38and I said yes.
00:25:42What was the song?
00:25:44The song?
00:25:45Mm-hmm.
00:25:45Oh, this song.
00:25:47Oh.
00:25:48Overnight scenes, dinner and wine,
00:25:51Saturday girls.
00:25:53I was never in love, never had the time.
00:25:56Honey, every woman in the world.
00:25:58Every woman in the world.
00:25:59Laughing myself to sleep,
00:26:01waking up lonely.
00:26:02I needed someone to hold me up.
00:26:06Come on.
00:26:07Girl, you're every woman in the world.
00:26:10To me.
00:26:12You're my fantasy.
00:26:14You're my reality.
00:26:16That's it.
00:26:17Uh, that's the song.
00:26:25And that was totally off the top of my head, huh?
00:26:27Known each other for two hours,
00:26:28and we already got a song.
00:26:30We don't have a song.
00:26:32How long is this going to take?
00:26:43Emma Lloyd?
00:26:44Deepak Manam Chetavetti.
00:26:46Mr. Manam Chetavetti.
00:26:47Deep.
00:26:48Deep.
00:26:48Mr. Deep.
00:26:49I recognize you.
00:26:50You're the passed out lady that Patrick carries around sometimes.
00:26:52Yes, that would be me.
00:26:55Ronnie Wilson.
00:26:56Oh, how very thoughtful.
00:26:57Do we have to do this right now?
00:27:04Delicious.
00:27:05It's not unlike a ring ding.
00:27:06What did I tell you about the ring ding?
00:27:08Yes, and I'm sure you'd really love a glass of milk with that,
00:27:10but I have to get home and change my book party,
00:27:12so if you don't mind...
00:27:13Don't rush me, young lady.
00:27:14I'm an ordinary public.
00:27:15I took a test.
00:27:17Okay, I'm sorry.
00:27:18How long do you think this will take?
00:27:20Well, let's just review.
00:27:21Hmm?
00:27:23Signatures.
00:27:25Check.
00:27:27Dates.
00:27:30Check.
00:27:31Well, now all you need is my seal,
00:27:32and you'll be on your way in ten minutes.
00:27:33Oh.
00:27:34An hour.
00:27:36A year.
00:27:38It'll take as long as it takes.
00:27:39Who can say?
00:27:40Well, is there anything you can do to hurry this up?
00:27:42I mean, I don't mind paying extra.
00:27:43Trying to bribe a public official?
00:27:45This is ridiculous.
00:27:46I'm late.
00:27:47I'm late, and I'll send a messenger in the morning.
00:27:50I'm sure that will be more than enough time.
00:27:52Oh, hey, Monica.
00:27:52I could just bring by the office.
00:27:53Oh, no.
00:27:54I will send a messenger.
00:27:56Thank you, Mr. Sullivan, for your cooperation.
00:27:58Well, thank you for thanking me, Mrs. Sullivan.
00:28:02A year?
00:28:02Patrick, I'm out.
00:28:03Out.
00:28:03Look, you had your fun, but this is too far.
00:28:05You should be ashamed, nice lady like that.
00:28:07I just...
00:28:08I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine, period.
00:28:10And then I...
00:28:11I don't know.
00:28:13She's starting to grow on me.
00:28:14No.
00:28:15Look, no growing, okay?
00:28:17No growing on anyone, by anyone.
00:28:19No knees weakened, no shines taken to, none of it.
00:28:23Not on my watch.
00:28:25Now go.
00:28:27You and Ajay have caused enough trouble.
00:28:30Out.
00:28:32Dr. Lloyd, this way, please.
00:28:34Dr. Lloyd?
00:28:35Dr. Lloyd, this camera.
00:28:37Smile, please.
00:28:38Oh, beautiful.
00:28:39Thank you very much.
00:28:39I'm relieved to say this.
00:28:40Smile.
00:28:40Smile.
00:28:42High contact, please.
00:28:42Very nice.
00:28:43Thank you very much.
00:28:44Come up.
00:28:45This way, please.
00:28:47And where's Richard?
00:28:47It's right over there.
00:28:49Thanks.
00:28:52Not too shabby, yeah?
00:28:53No, no, it's wonderful.
00:28:55I can't believe it.
00:28:55Signed, please.
00:28:56Mr. Bracken, Dr. Lloyd.
00:28:58I have so much to tell you.
00:29:00Did you get the papers?
00:29:00Um, they're at the dotary.
00:29:02Excellent.
00:29:03Well, I'll look at that later.
00:29:03Carl Bollenbacker says, make that up to him.
00:29:05Oh?
00:29:05No, he wasn't coming.
00:29:06And they used up his course to say he was coming.
00:29:07Is it good or bad, do you think?
00:29:08Oh, how can he be back?
00:29:09He hasn't even met you.
00:29:11You look stunning.
00:29:12Yes.
00:29:12What happened to your head?
00:29:14Oh, this bird accident.
00:29:15Pigeon flew into me.
00:29:16I'll take care of it.
00:29:20Emma?
00:29:20Do you remember Dr. Benny?
00:29:21Oh, yes.
00:29:21Hi.
00:29:21Nice to see you.
00:29:22Dr. Benny.
00:29:23Hi, Judy.
00:29:23Yes.
00:29:24Hi.
00:29:24Hi.
00:29:24Hi.
00:29:24Hi.
00:29:24Hi.
00:29:29No sooner than we leave you, than bang, I see your picture big on a bus.
00:29:33Oh, from the cake tasting.
00:29:35I felt so foolish.
00:29:37I went and bought your book immediately.
00:29:39Oh, that was unnecessary.
00:29:40And later, I was reading your very sensible observation and your clinical judgments.
00:29:45Are they good things?
00:29:46Well, I'm sure some people find them very useful, but I was surprised that a helpless romantic
00:29:51can give such practical advice.
00:29:53Me?
00:29:53Helpless?
00:29:54Oh, yes.
00:29:55You.
00:29:55Hopelessly helpless.
00:29:56But let me finish.
00:29:57So, my husband, Carl, returns to the room, and on top of his paper, there is the invitation
00:30:03to this very party.
00:30:05Isn't it amazing?
00:30:07When you say Carl, do you mean Carl Bollenbecker?
00:30:10It's a small world, isn't it?
00:30:13Yes.
00:30:14Teeny.
00:30:15Like a marble.
00:30:17Or a gumball.
00:30:18I had to drag Carl by the ear to come here.
00:30:20Oh, well, it is a girly book.
00:30:22Oh, no, it's not that.
00:30:23Carl can be very girly.
00:30:24Only that he doesn't like to socialize with someone whose company intends to liquidate.
00:30:29Liquidate?
00:30:31Who?
00:30:32Richard?
00:30:32Yes, but we can fix that.
00:30:34After this party, you and Richard will join us for dinner.
00:30:38If Carl sees the man I saw, Abingdon thought we'll be safe, I'm sure.
00:30:42Oh, well, that is unbelievably kind of you.
00:30:47But you see, Richard and I made plans, and so we're supposed to...
00:30:50There's only one thing you're supposed to do, Emma, and it's to bring your fiancé to dinner.
00:30:54Let's find Richard.
00:30:55Carl is waking.
00:30:55Oh, oh, my husband hates you, but you saved our marriage.
00:31:04Do you mind?
00:31:05Not at all.
00:31:06Who shall I make it out to?
00:31:07To Richard!
00:31:08Um, thank you.
00:31:14Oh, hey, hey, Emma, I brought the papers.
00:31:18Richard, sweetheart.
00:31:20Please go with me on this.
00:31:21Huh?
00:31:21Do you remember credit ballenbecker?
00:31:24It's a cake lady.
00:31:24It's a small world.
00:31:27So small, constantly shrinking.
00:31:29It must be the global warming.
00:31:30I want to introduce you to my husband.
00:31:33Her husband, Carl, is Carl Ballenbecker of the Ballenbecker Group, which just acquired Richard's your publishing house, and he's thinking of tumping you, Richard, and it.
00:31:40Wait, I want a publishing house?
00:31:41Yes, and you're my fiancé, so please just focus, concentrate, get it?
00:31:46This is in.
00:31:49You must be the cake, Duncan.
00:31:51You got me.
00:31:52That's my Richard.
00:31:54Casual fighters?
00:31:56Uh, I actually just came from soccer practice.
00:31:58You play football?
00:31:59Well, I don't know if it's Podolsky.
00:32:01Podolsky!
00:32:02Well, nothing could be Podolsky.
00:32:04I own his team, and we is a magnificent pain in the earth.
00:32:07But a genius.
00:32:08You own the Baron Munchen Club?
00:32:10Why don't you close a moron on defense?
00:32:12He's been totally underutilized.
00:32:13Yeah, that's what they tell that stupid coach.
00:32:15Twinsman, gotta go.
00:32:16Does this be a glee?
00:32:17Excuse me, Mr. Ballenbecker, my name's...
00:32:19Oh, Jesus, Emma, what the hell?
00:32:20Hand nuggies.
00:32:21We give each other these little hand nuggies.
00:32:23This is mine.
00:32:24Brother?
00:32:25Carl.
00:32:26Your name is Carl, as well?
00:32:28This is a small world.
00:32:29Yes, teeny, like a gimlet.
00:32:30Yes, my tiny, teeny little brother, but not small.
00:32:33No, big, older, but not that much.
00:32:36Carl.
00:32:37Oh, I love you so very, very much.
00:32:39How's it going, bro?
00:32:41I'm sorry.
00:32:43I'm suddenly so very thirsty.
00:32:44Carl?
00:32:45Carl?
00:32:46Carl.
00:32:46Carl.
00:32:47Carl.
00:32:47This is Carl Ballenbeck, and I'm Greta's wife.
00:32:50And we're so charmed by your sister.
00:32:52And your outspoken fiancé who seems to find fault with every player in the Bundesliga.
00:32:57Ah, but now Podolski.
00:32:58Ah, but never Podolski.
00:33:02So, you sound English, but your sister...
00:33:05Incredible, isn't it?
00:33:06Yes, but we wrote that.
00:33:06Can I borrow Amish from it?
00:33:07I'm sorry.
00:33:08Ah!
00:33:10Hanukia!
00:33:13Who's the man out there pretending to be me?
00:33:14I've explained everything.
00:33:15He's wearing sweatpants.
00:33:17That's Sullivan.
00:33:18Honey, you're stress-eating.
00:33:19No, I'm not.
00:33:19Huh?
00:33:19I wasn't at my father's last night.
00:33:21I was with Sullivan.
00:33:22Not with him, with him, but passed out in his apartment drunk.
00:33:24That sounds worse than it is.
00:33:25I assure you, I was really close.
00:33:27Beyond that, I'm not really certain of anything.
00:33:29Except that he showed up today with the papers right when I had to go to the cake tasting,
00:33:31which you refuse to go to because you're so busy.
00:33:33Get back to the Bonnebeckers.
00:33:34As if I'm not.
00:33:34As if I'm just...
00:33:35Right, fine.
00:33:36So, at the cake tasting, there was this sweet lady.
00:33:40And she thought Sullivan was my fiancé, and I just couldn't disappoint her.
00:33:44But this lady wasn't sweet at all.
00:33:45She was...
00:33:46This is fun.
00:33:47Mrs. Bonnebecker, which I didn't know.
00:33:48Well, you certainly know now.
00:33:50Yes, yes, I do.
00:33:51But had I known it, I wouldn't have let the whole thing continue.
00:33:53But it did continue until everyone was quite taken with him,
00:33:56especially Mrs. Bonnebecker, especially when he sang.
00:33:58He's a singer?
00:33:59No, no, no, no, no.
00:34:00He's a fireman.
00:34:01Darling, are you sure you want that?
00:34:03Yes, yes, I am.
00:34:04But what is he doing here?
00:34:06Well, apparently he came to bring me the notarized papers.
00:34:08But then there was Mrs. Bonnebecker, and of course I'm himaloyed,
00:34:11and so he's my fiancé.
00:34:13And I am tiny brother Carl.
00:34:15Oh, Richard, I'm terribly sorry.
00:34:17But, uh, oh, look, mini cupcakes.
00:34:21Look, Emma, I only got about half of what you're saying,
00:34:23but there still seems to be something that could be cleaned up quite easily.
00:34:26So look for you harpoons.
00:34:27What is left of my reputation?
00:34:29I am going to go in there and help this way.
00:34:29No, no, no, no, no, you have.
00:34:31They're going to exterminate you.
00:34:32What?
00:34:32Not you, Abington folks, not exterminate.
00:34:35Terminate, no, liquidate, that's it.
00:34:37Yes, job rep and little pieces, sell it all off.
00:34:39Everything must go.
00:34:40That's why Carl wasn't coming.
00:34:42But he did come!
00:34:43Because Mrs. B made him come.
00:34:44She made him come so he could meet you.
00:34:47Oh, look, I think he's really starting to like you.
00:34:49Oh, all right, then.
00:34:52Let me think, Carl.
00:34:54Manu has so many entities, I can buy at least another year
00:34:56before I pass out of the cross, so we just have to get through this.
00:34:58What are we talking about?
00:34:59A few more minutes, right?
00:34:59And a dinner tonight.
00:35:01It was Mrs. B's idea so that Carl could get to know you a little better.
00:35:05He's gone.
00:35:05Carl?
00:35:06No, Sullivan.
00:35:07He's gone.
00:35:07But for dinner?
00:35:08Well, get him there!
00:35:10Oh.
00:35:15Is Sullivan even in here?
00:35:16I don't see how he'd fit.
00:35:17Not now, Marcy.
00:35:22Find the lioness within.
00:35:23Oh, now you've read my book.
00:35:26It's your son of it, Emma Lloyd, here.
00:35:28Here's the deal.
00:35:30My entire career and my marriage to Richard probably are at stake here.
00:35:36Frankly, I need you.
00:35:38I really need you.
00:35:39Tonight.
00:35:43How did you know each other?
00:35:44We know each other.
00:35:46Carl, remember?
00:35:47What's the hell that you've given us?
00:35:48No, I don't know each other.
00:35:50That's true.
00:35:51That's true.
00:35:52That's true.
00:35:53That's true.
00:35:54That's true.
00:35:55That's true.
00:35:56Your father has given us.
00:35:57Yes.
00:35:58Yes, he's there.
00:35:59Oh, my God.
00:36:00Oh, my God.
00:36:02Oh, my God.
00:36:03Don't tell me to do it.
00:36:04You got hit by a cab?
00:36:05Good.
00:36:06Nice touch.
00:36:07What hospital are you in?
00:36:08I'll be right there.
00:36:09He was hit by a cab.
00:36:10What?
00:36:11Who was hit by a cab?
00:36:12Good son of a...
00:36:13Oh!
00:36:14So it was only your foot.
00:36:15Oh, my God.
00:36:16And you're fine.
00:36:17You promise?
00:36:18Oh.
00:36:19Uh, Carl.
00:36:20He got a cab.
00:36:21Ran over his foot.
00:36:22Yeah.
00:36:23Oh, I can't catch a break.
00:36:24Drink lots of cocoa.
00:36:25Bye-bye, darling.
00:36:26Richard, I was beginning to think a man who would leave his fiancee unattended for so
00:36:35long might not be as charming as I imagined.
00:36:38But, no matter.
00:36:40Please, join us for dessert.
00:36:42Carl, look, I know how important this dinner is to my future with the Ballenbecker group.
00:36:48But, you see, I've got this family thing.
00:36:51And where I come from, family comes first.
00:36:54So, I'm just here to invite you to a party.
00:36:59It could be a lot of fun.
00:37:02To family.
00:37:03To family.
00:37:04To family.
00:37:05To family.
00:37:06To family.
00:37:23Come down.
00:37:25to the family.
00:37:28To family.
00:37:29To family.
00:37:30To family.
00:37:31Hey, nice craft.
00:37:33You've been a man.
00:37:35What's with all the white people?
00:37:3740 crashes.
00:37:39You mean that one?
00:37:41That one's for me.
00:37:43Come on, man.
00:37:45Get up there.
00:37:47What is this?
00:37:49What is this?
00:37:51I'm a party.
00:37:53I'm a party.
00:37:55I'm a party.
00:37:57I'm a party.
00:37:59I'm a party.
00:38:01Om Namaswaha.
00:38:03Om Narayana.
00:38:05Om.
00:38:15Om Ujutyan Jata Vedasam Devam.
00:38:19Titram Devanam Mudagadanikam.
00:38:21Yagno Pavitam Paramam Pavitram.
00:38:25Praja Pateryat Sahajam Purastad.
00:38:27Ayushya Maghram Patimuntasubram.
00:38:31Yagno Pavitam Balamastuti Jaha.
00:38:35Oh, I love my husband, but he snorts at night.
00:38:39It's brutal.
00:38:41My lovely husband snows all the time.
00:38:43I just eat tight slag.
00:38:45Tight slag.
00:38:47Tight slag.
00:38:49Really cute.
00:38:51Check your menu for hidden messages, ladies.
00:38:55See, it's part of the tradition.
00:38:57Back when marriages were arranged,
00:38:59the groom would search his bride's painted body
00:39:01on their wedding night just to find his initials.
00:39:03Aww.
00:39:05That's naughty.
00:39:07Yeah.
00:39:17Oh, I love you.
00:39:19Oh, I love you.
00:39:21Oh, I love you.
00:39:23Oh, I love you.
00:39:25Yow, Yow, yow!
00:39:28Yow, Yow, yow!
00:39:31Give it up.
00:39:32Let's go to the kitchen.
00:39:35I just went, I just went.
00:39:39I just went, I just went.
00:39:43So I can, I just went, I just went.
00:39:46I just went, I just went, I just went.
00:39:50Ooh, mm!
00:39:52Me and the world of love
00:39:56You know, you know, you know
00:39:59You know, you know
00:40:01You know, you know
00:40:04You know, you know
00:40:22Did I happen to say thank you?
00:40:27You did, and you're welcome.
00:40:32You're not the person I thought you were, Patrick Sullivan.
00:40:35Likewise, Dr. Lloyd.
00:40:40I can't.
00:40:41I have to go.
00:40:51Wilder.
00:40:52It's me. Can you come get me?
00:41:15Hey.
00:41:17Hey.
00:41:18Got any beer?
00:41:19You did good tonight.
00:41:23Thanks.
00:41:32You got to tell her, man.
00:41:37Girls are way into honesty.
00:41:40All right.
00:41:41Good night, you two.
00:41:42Oh.
00:41:47Honestly, Wilder, I mean, what am I doing?
00:41:49Running around Queens in the middle of the night, crashing Indian bar mitzvahs two weeks before
00:41:53my wedding with a man who is technically my husband.
00:41:56Beats me, eh?
00:41:57Would you like another one?
00:41:59Oh, yeah.
00:42:01Extra eggs.
00:42:02Thank you, Daddy.
00:42:03Mm-hmm.
00:42:04I wish Mom were here.
00:42:06Yeah, me too.
00:42:07She'd know exactly what to tell you, wouldn't she?
00:42:09Well, you're doing all right, actually.
00:42:11Mm-hmm.
00:42:12You still make a mean breakfast.
00:42:13I will second that.
00:42:14He also makes amazing smoothies.
00:42:15Is there still time for one?
00:42:16Um, no.
00:42:17Uh, Lauren, this is Emma.
00:42:17Emma!
00:42:18Oh, my God.
00:42:19Hi.
00:42:20My mom loves you.
00:42:21I listen to your show, too, but I don't have a radio, which reminds me.
00:42:22Is there a mall around here?
00:42:23Or, like, a Best Buy or something?
00:42:24Oh.
00:42:25It's a Toys R Us.
00:42:26Maybe they'll have something for her.
00:42:27Nice to meet you.
00:42:28Wilder?
00:42:29It's been late.
00:42:30Um, excuse us.
00:42:31Is there something wrong with you?
00:42:32No, no, nothing.
00:42:33I'm just late, and I have to go meet Richard, so...
00:42:35Hey, don't jump to conclusions, all right?
00:42:37Oh.
00:42:38Oh.
00:42:39Oh.
00:42:40Oh.
00:42:41Oh.
00:42:42Oh.
00:42:43Oh.
00:42:44Oh.
00:42:45Oh.
00:42:46Oh.
00:42:47Oh.
00:42:48Oh.
00:42:49Oh.
00:42:50Thanks for breakfast, Wilder.
00:42:51Sorry I can't stick around for the smoothie.
00:42:53You don't know everything there is to know, by the way.
00:42:56No.
00:42:57Like some things never get old, and, um, like ours here.
00:43:00Look, this time you're really wrong, Emma.
00:43:03You are.
00:43:07Goodbye, Wilder.
00:43:09Bye, sweetheart.
00:43:11Daddy loves you nonetheless.
00:43:18The gulthy white is stylish, but, um, I just, it's been done.
00:43:25And it's not as common as the, as the picket fence white, which is safe, but I just feel
00:43:30it's a bit boring.
00:43:31And you see, the Navajo white is bolder, but sort of in-your-face white.
00:43:34I don't know.
00:43:35Um, they all look the same to me.
00:43:37Hmm.
00:43:38In what way?
00:43:39In that they're all white.
00:43:41Yes, but different.
00:43:42I mean, wildly different.
00:43:43Are you not going to ask me about last night?
00:43:47Well, I assumed it went pretty well.
00:43:49Ollenbecker group just renewed my contract another five years, thanks to you.
00:43:53Now all we need to do is file those papers and we can put this whole thing behind us.
00:43:56Um, well...
00:44:02I don't have the papers.
00:44:04What's going on, eh?
00:44:07I don't know.
00:44:08He had them at the book signing, and then somewhere between the dinner and the Paniyana,
00:44:11Indian bar mitzvah, don't ask.
00:44:14I misplaced them.
00:44:15Don't worry.
00:44:16I had them in my hands.
00:44:17Don't worry about it.
00:44:18So unlikely.
00:44:19There.
00:44:20It's all right.
00:44:21I'm gonna take care of everything from now on.
00:44:25Here's the thing.
00:44:26A white lie is still a lie.
00:44:27I mean, maybe a subtler shade of truth, but anyone who's really looking can see it painted on the wall.
00:44:31So you're saying I should tell him the truth?
00:44:33What I'm saying is that a cream-colored, ivory-hued, math-finished half-truth will erode the foundation of your relationship.
00:44:40I-I know you're getting married soon, right?
00:44:43Yep.
00:44:44That's right.
00:44:45Your fiancé must be a lucky man to know he has you to keep him honest.
00:44:48We're both very lucky.
00:44:50Brother Carl!
00:44:52Didn't know you played.
00:44:54Let's talk the bullshit, shall we?
00:44:56It's Richard.
00:44:57Richard Braxton, as you well know.
00:44:59Patrick Sullivan, as you well know.
00:45:01With Howard, we're practically family.
00:45:04You behave like a real gentleman over another odd period.
00:45:08Emma tells me you did me a good turn last night. I appreciate that.
00:45:10It was fun.
00:45:12Now I'm afraid I have to play the spoilsport and just ask for those papers so we can go our separate ways.
00:45:16Why don't you tell Emma I'll bring her by the office?
00:45:18No, that's not gonna happen.
00:45:19Why's that?
00:45:20She and I have a life together which doesn't include you and I want to keep it that way.
00:45:24So I'm asking you man to man not to see her, call her, text her.
00:45:29I'm not much of a text her.
00:45:31Well somebody in your circle seems to have a gift for technology.
00:45:35What do you mean?
00:45:37The more I look into this glitch, as Emma calls it, the less accidental it seems.
00:45:43You might be technologically challenged, but can you think of anyone close to you?
00:45:46Might be able to pull this off.
00:45:50Not off the top of my head, no.
00:45:55Well I intend to find out who did this.
00:45:57What's so wrong with them?
00:46:25What's so wrong with them?
00:46:27I'm afraid of the real thing.
00:46:29What have you been there?
00:46:31You've all been there.
00:46:33Well she sounds like a crush.
00:46:35Since you're a grown woman, let's call an insaturation.
00:46:37Far bigger problem than when you have now.
00:46:40You're dreaming, wake up girl.
00:46:41And do you share the same vision in the future?
00:46:44You have to ask yourself the question, okay?
00:46:46A smart and successful miserable woman can not live on kisses alone.
00:46:49You may think that humans can have any commonalities in the future.
00:46:52It doesn't matter from that.
00:46:54Please take a look at how to go to kisses back.
00:46:57It's chapter seven.
00:46:58I think you'll find it.
00:46:59Thank you, Doctor.
00:47:00Thank you, Colin.
00:47:03Hi, you're on the air.
00:47:04Yeah, I'm reading your book too, Dr. Boyd.
00:47:06Would you call this a self-help book, or does that term offend?
00:47:09Uh, not in the least.
00:47:11Who does it help, exactly?
00:47:13Well, it...
00:47:14See, the thing is, I, uh, I haven't gotten to the helpful part yet.
00:47:20Perhaps you're a slow reader.
00:47:22But you see, it doesn't tell you how to find somebody to love, or, or how you get somebody to love you back.
00:47:27All it does is tell you what's wrong with the person you're in love with, and that to me, well, that's not very helpful.
00:47:33Well, perhaps it is you who are wrong for the person you think you are right for.
00:47:36Did you think of that, caller?
00:47:37What is it you think you know about me that would make you say that?
00:47:40I don't know anything about you.
00:47:41Yeah, you bet you don't.
00:47:42That's right, I don't.
00:47:43But since you called, here's some advice.
00:47:45Maybe instead of blaming others for your problems, you should consider looking at yourself.
00:47:48I'm looking right at my problem.
00:47:50Well, stop fogging up the mirror.
00:47:52Nice.
00:47:53Did you just hang up on a caller?
00:47:57No, no, no, I did not just hang up on a caller.
00:48:00No, hello, hello, uh, hello, uh, I think we've been disconnected.
00:48:05It must be those cell phones, those nasty cell phones.
00:48:08Well, thanks to my caller for calling, and I will be seeing you tomorrow for the next real love with Dr. Emma Lloyd.
00:48:15Are you crazy? How dare you come to my place of order and make prank calls?
00:48:22No, I was just flipping through this thing, and I thought it was so full of crap that maybe I had to frigging call in.
00:48:27Oh, I seem to have to buy my book.
00:48:29No, I stole it from your parties.
00:48:30I stole it, that makes sense.
00:48:32Yeah, and I took your little compatibility quiz.
00:48:34Really? How did you do?
00:48:35Well, according to this, my lifestyle is wholly unsuitable to any freak who would buy or write a book like this.
00:48:40I'm surprised those tests don't lie.
00:48:42New York City Fire Department, ladies and gentlemen, official business.
00:48:46I'd ask you to please exit the elevator.
00:48:48Come on, ladies. Sir, thank you.
00:48:50What are you doing?
00:48:51Unsuitable?
00:48:52Is that really what you think of me?
00:48:57I don't think of you.
00:49:01I'll see unsuitable.
00:49:12Hey, security, what's the story with the elevators?
00:49:22Holy moly.
00:49:23My wife loves her shop.
00:49:27I can't even get a guy to hold a door for me.
00:49:29Ma'am, I'd like to ask you to step back, please.
00:49:31Can you fix the focus on that, please?
00:49:32Yeah.
00:49:33I was moving in a little bit for you.
00:49:34There you go.
00:49:35All right, I've had enough of this.
00:49:38Excuse me.
00:49:39Sir?
00:49:40Doctor?
00:49:41Doctor?
00:49:42I'm gonna have to ask you to please stop.
00:49:45Stop what you're doing.
00:49:46Come down to the lobby immediately.
00:49:48Stop it.
00:49:49Stop it.
00:49:50Stop it now, please.
00:50:17Sorry about that.
00:50:18Which part exactly?
00:50:19Kissing your thing.
00:50:20Oh, well, we just got caught up.
00:50:21Carried away.
00:50:22Lost our heads.
00:50:26I'm getting married.
00:50:29Yeah.
00:50:33You love him?
00:50:35I only ask this because being that I'm your husband
00:50:39and you're my wife, I have this vested interest
00:50:42in seeing you happy.
00:50:44I want to be happy.
00:50:46Aren't you?
00:50:48What is happiness anyway?
00:50:52I don't know.
00:50:54Tell me.
00:50:55You wrote the book.
00:50:56I guess I don't know.
00:50:57I don't know.
00:51:10Patrick.
00:51:12It's nice being married to you.
00:51:14You too.
00:51:18Thanks.
00:51:20Bye, I see.
00:51:21Bye.
00:51:32Bye, Emma.
00:52:03I'm sorry I'm late.
00:52:17I know, I'm always so prompt.
00:52:18Larynx, don't worry.
00:52:19When I arrived, I told them to bring the drinks in ten minutes.
00:52:21Just...
00:52:22How's that, the timing?
00:52:23Oh, what a day.
00:52:24You've no idea.
00:52:25Actually, I kind of do.
00:52:28I heard your show today.
00:52:30That was Sullivan, I take it?
00:52:31Yes.
00:52:32The good news is, I got the papers.
00:52:35Everything but page 127, and I'm sure it's in there somewhere.
00:52:39And we'll never see him again.
00:52:41So why don't you look happy?
00:52:42I am.
00:52:46Well, I've got something that might cheer you up.
00:52:49Harry Winston finished our rings.
00:52:51Want to have a look?
00:52:54Wow.
00:52:55The circle of eternity came out great, don't you think?
00:53:00No.
00:53:02They did mine wrong.
00:53:04What are you talking about?
00:53:04It's perfect.
00:53:05It says, do I, do I, do I, not I do, I do, I do.
00:53:08You know, Em, I think you're under a tremendous amount of stress at the moment.
00:53:21It's not stress, Richard.
00:53:23I just don't know.
00:53:25I'm really confused.
00:53:27Well, I'm not confused, Em.
00:53:28I know exactly what I want.
00:53:30I think you and I are the perfect team.
00:53:32Never doubted it for a moment.
00:53:33But I am not going to talk you into marrying me.
00:53:38So I suggest you take a few days and figure out what it is you want.
00:53:41In fact, why don't we begin that right now?
00:53:44Richard.
00:53:47Yeah, we had a really nice time, you know?
00:53:50Good conversation.
00:53:51He was kind of sweet and funny, but I don't know.
00:53:52There was something missing.
00:53:54There was no...
00:53:54Spark?
00:53:55Exactly.
00:53:57Yeah, caller, let me tell you something about sparks.
00:53:59Sparks cause fires, and fires will burn your house down, you know?
00:54:03So if you keep searching for good old Sparky, you know, you're sure to get burned.
00:54:06Trust me on that, okay?
00:54:20Oh, I'm so hungry.
00:54:22Wilder, your girlfriend's wearing my robe.
00:54:25Actually, this girlfriend's daughter is wearing a robe.
00:54:30Hello, Emma.
00:54:30Aren't you my...
00:54:34So, um, why the big secret?
00:54:37Well, I wanted to tell you, but your father thought you wouldn't hire me as the caterer
00:54:41if you knew we were dating.
00:54:43Dating?
00:54:43Is that what you're calling?
00:54:44Well, that or this is an elaborate ruse of yours to get out of paying my bill.
00:54:48You've been worth every penny of it, huh?
00:54:50There you go again.
00:54:51Always saying the perfect thing.
00:54:54You've been together for almost a year.
00:54:56Why didn't you tell me?
00:54:58Well, you've met so many women over the years, I thought maybe I'd hold off from this introduction
00:55:01until we were sure of each other.
00:55:03And are we?
00:55:04Well, I am.
00:55:06I can't even keep track of all the things I've misunderstood.
00:55:10Sorry.
00:55:11Dad?
00:55:16I mean, I know I never asked you, but, um, what do you think of Richard?
00:55:21Do you like him?
00:55:22Well, sure, honey.
00:55:23What's not to like?
00:55:24I mean, he's perfect, isn't he?
00:55:27Is that a compliment?
00:55:29You don't need compliments from me.
00:55:30I've never told you how to live or who to date.
00:55:33That's all that's been in your department, right?
00:55:34So what if I'm, uh, losing my footing in my department and I'm asking for a second opinion?
00:55:42Well, I think Richard is a good, safe bet, you know?
00:55:48I mean, he's exactly the kind of guy that you've always gravitated toward
00:55:51and advised other women to pursue, isn't he?
00:55:55Probably the type of fellow that my brand of fatherhood pushed you into.
00:55:59Look, honey, I mean, I've made some big mistakes in my life, some real whoppers,
00:56:05but if I hadn't, I probably wouldn't have been able to recognize the real thing when it came along.
00:56:10You don't have to be so right all the time, you know?
00:56:14It's okay to make a couple mistakes.
00:56:26Hello!
00:56:27Oh, Emma!
00:56:27Hey, Emma, your dreams come, darling, Baba.
00:56:30She has to eat something.
00:56:31Quiet!
00:56:33Can't you see that she's not here to eat or watch telly or chit-chat?
00:56:37She's come for the man she loves.
00:56:40You all with your come-come and your sit-sit and your eat-eat,
00:56:43you're standing in the course of true love.
00:56:44Stand aside, I say!
00:56:47Through the beads up the stairs, two flights.
00:56:53What?
00:56:53What are you doing?
00:56:57Yeah, it's raining.
00:57:01I figured you'd have a day off.
00:57:05Come in.
00:57:05Let me, uh, let me get you some dry clothes.
00:57:18Patrick?
00:57:18Yeah.
00:57:21I think I called off my wedding.
00:57:23Am I?
00:57:30I need to tell you something.
00:57:38What?
00:57:41It can wait.
00:57:42I got in.
00:57:59I've gotta go.
00:58:00Oh, man.
00:58:00I'm happy.
00:58:00It won't match my wedding.
00:58:01Okay?
00:58:02Yeah, that's funny.
00:58:02Then we're gonna check to see it again.
00:58:03I
00:58:08How's it going in there, babe?
00:58:36Great! We're having toast.
00:58:39We'll be out in a minute.
00:58:41You're my fantasy, my reality.
00:59:09Uh, uh, uh, uh.
00:59:16What is this?
00:59:19And this? And this?
00:59:20What are you, some kind of sick stalker?
00:59:22No, Emma, it's not what you think.
00:59:23Emma! Emma, Emma, wait.
00:59:25I can't believe this. I saw the invitation.
00:59:27So you're married?
00:59:28No, I'm not married.
00:59:30Liar.
00:59:31Stay away from me.
00:59:32Emma! Emma, I can explain.
00:59:34Yeah? What? But this is no accident?
00:59:37There's no glitch?
00:59:38No, you, you are the glitch.
00:59:40You Googled me, invaded my life, invaded my privacy,
00:59:43ruined my relationship.
00:59:45I almost called off my wedding for you.
00:59:48I trusted you.
00:59:50I had sex with you.
00:59:51I almost you're some sort of, some sort of con man,
00:59:53scam artist, deranged man.
00:59:55You know what? Don't flatter yourself.
00:59:56What have I done?
00:59:58I mean, Richard warned me about you.
00:59:59I warn people about men like you every day.
01:00:01All right, stop. Come on, stop. Emma, stop.
01:00:02I'm worse than my own callers.
01:00:05Can I show you something?
01:00:07Please?
01:00:12Do you know her?
01:00:15No, I don't.
01:00:16Yeah, you don't.
01:00:17Come here.
01:00:19That's Sophia.
01:00:21As in, you're cordially invited to the marriage
01:00:23of Patrick Thomas Sullivan and Sophia Adelia Maria Chichagua.
01:00:27She's Dominican.
01:00:28We met on the job.
01:00:29She must blow her bill and polish
01:00:31those goddamn nails of hers.
01:00:32I carried her down 15 flights of stairs
01:00:34and sat next to her hospital bed until she woke up.
01:00:36What does this have to do with me?
01:00:38Did I mention she was a really big fan of your show?
01:00:40I listen to it every day.
01:00:41In fact, one day she called in.
01:00:43You probably don't remember.
01:00:44No, I don't.
01:00:46You told her to call off the wedding, Emma.
01:00:48Patrick, how can...
01:00:49Someone you don't know and can't even remember
01:00:51and you changed her life and mine forever.
01:00:54I guess I wanted to educate you about that.
01:00:57About what it's like to have your life ripped out from under you.
01:01:00I wanted to knock you down a peg.
01:01:05You did.
01:01:07Emma, I...
01:01:08Goodbye, Patrick.
01:01:09Emma.
01:01:10Emma.
01:01:11Emma.
01:01:21You were both in the prison.
01:01:22Yeah, here.
01:01:24It's beautiful.
01:01:25Just thinking how...
01:01:26how it's too big for me without you here.
01:01:28Mm.
01:01:29Are you here?
01:01:31it's beautiful just thinking how how it's too big for me without you here
01:01:41are you here
01:01:46you feel happy
01:01:51you mean you still want to get married
01:01:53I do
01:01:57I do
01:01:59I do
01:02:00as many of you have heard I'm getting married
01:02:05people keep asking me if I'm nervous
01:02:07but I'm not
01:02:08my eyes are open and what I see is
01:02:10not the man of my dreams but the man of my reality
01:02:13he's who he says he is
01:02:15there where he's supposed to be
01:02:16if you want to close your eyes hold your breath and jump in
01:02:19try the high diving board of the YMCA
01:02:22you know there's an entire generation
01:02:26of men and women roaming New York City
01:02:27in search of the holy grail dream partner
01:02:30but until we learn the difference between romantic love and real love
01:02:34we're just searching in vain for something that doesn't even exist
01:02:38there we are
01:02:41till next time
01:02:43I'll be the one who'll break my heart
01:02:46I'll be the one to hope
01:02:50and I know more than I knew before
01:02:53I know more than I knew before
01:02:58I didn't rest
01:03:02I didn't stop
01:03:04did we fight
01:03:07or did we talk
01:03:09who'll be the one who'll break my heart
01:03:16you have to ask yourself serious questions
01:03:17couples shouldn't feel they have anything to hide
01:03:19play with fire
01:03:20you're gonna get burned
01:03:21is he responsible
01:03:21can't trust what you merely lust
01:03:23does he give you a stable universe
01:03:25your love has to be earned
01:03:26not yearned
01:03:27gotta stop obsessing about this old girlfriend of his okay
01:03:29got it
01:03:30alright
01:03:30next caller
01:03:31hard decision
01:03:32am I right
01:03:33well
01:03:33caller
01:03:34trust me on that alright
01:03:35next caller
01:03:35based on what
01:03:36trust me on that one okay
01:03:37I don't know
01:03:40what do you want from it
01:03:41but real love is just a theory right
01:03:42yeah a theory yes
01:03:44but based on ten years of research and study
01:03:46a sociological psychosexual statistical analysis
01:03:49of men and women and their relationships okay
01:03:52yeah but what if you're wrong
01:03:53hello
01:03:56you're still there
01:04:06the time is 15 minutes after the hour and you're listening to real love
01:04:21with me
01:04:21dr. Emma Lloyd
01:04:22uh
01:04:24yeah
01:04:25we've got time for one more caller
01:04:26we've got
01:04:26Patrick of Astoria
01:04:28Patrick of Astoria
01:04:34oh really
01:04:35because I thought for a second you weren't going to put me through
01:04:38there are thousands of people listening Patrick from Astoria
01:04:40let's not waste their time
01:04:41how can I help you
01:04:42okay there's
01:04:43there's this girl that I'm
01:04:45that I'm falling for
01:04:46that I have
01:04:48fallen for
01:04:49and uh
01:04:51well the trick is
01:04:52she's uh
01:04:52she's getting married tomorrow
01:04:53and if that's what she really wants
01:04:54then I'm
01:04:55then I'm happy for
01:04:56that's very generous of you Patrick from Astoria
01:04:59there's one other thing that
01:05:00that she doesn't know
01:05:02we're almost out of time Patrick
01:05:04the thing that I didn't tell her is
01:05:06the thing she doesn't know
01:05:09come on
01:05:10is that I love her
01:05:12you know I uh
01:05:14I look at her and I see
01:05:15I see my whole life
01:05:16and I just thought she should
01:05:18know that
01:05:20I'm afraid that's all the time we have
01:05:22call her
01:05:23it's Dr. Emma Lloyd
01:05:25and you're listening to real love
01:05:28where's she going?
01:05:30get in here
01:05:31okay
01:05:32let's see
01:05:33we got um
01:05:34Chuck on line four
01:05:35is looking for his soulmate
01:05:37and
01:05:37Maria on line two
01:05:39just got dumped
01:05:40so
01:05:41Chuck
01:05:41yeah
01:05:42say what's up to Maria
01:05:43how you doing Maria?
01:05:54well
01:05:55do you really like it?
01:05:58perfect
01:05:58you're perfect
01:05:59I'm fucked
01:06:01it's an interesting segue
01:06:03did you listen to the show last night?
01:06:07yeah
01:06:07he loves me
01:06:08I know
01:06:09the entire tri-state area knows
01:06:11the car is here
01:06:12what am I gonna do?
01:06:14well first thing
01:06:15you should fire her
01:06:16I heard that
01:06:17and the sister at the keyhole
01:06:19that's what you always wanted huh?
01:06:21I did didn't I?
01:06:22instead you got you and me
01:06:24we didn't do it too badly did we?
01:06:27we were a disaster
01:06:28yeah we were
01:06:29but I see a comeback in the making
01:06:35yeah?
01:06:39you know for a guy who's
01:06:44waited this long
01:06:44to marry my daughter
01:06:45you're sure he's cutting it close
01:06:46don't you think?
01:06:48do you know how I know
01:06:49I love you?
01:06:50how?
01:06:51because nothing in the world
01:06:52would make me drag
01:06:53you to the altar again
01:06:54no we don't want to
01:06:55press our luck do we?
01:06:58I should go see how
01:06:59I'm just doing
01:06:59let me know
01:07:00if he gets here
01:07:00just take it off
01:07:11Marcy it's crooked
01:07:11let me try
01:07:12oh
01:07:12so this goes like this
01:07:16and this
01:07:20comes here
01:07:21here comes the bride
01:07:24I can't do this
01:07:31excuse me ladies
01:07:37could I just have a moment
01:07:38butchard
01:07:53wow
01:07:54look at you
01:07:56seems kind of silly though
01:07:58me in this dress
01:08:00veil
01:08:01bridesmaids
01:08:03it's like some sort of play
01:08:04or something
01:08:05no you don't look silly
01:08:07well you look
01:08:11extremely not silly
01:08:13and handsome yourself
01:08:14I'm sorry I'm late
01:08:18I had to go back to the city
01:08:19and get something for you
01:08:20you forgot to file them?
01:08:33you should know by now
01:08:34I'm not really
01:08:34the forgetful type
01:08:35no no you're not
01:08:38since you gave me this
01:08:41I've been putting off
01:08:42filing them for some reason
01:08:43why do you think that is?
01:08:50I love you
01:08:50I'm clever enough
01:08:53to know when I've lost
01:08:53I should have asked you
01:08:59to marry me a long time ago
01:09:00or maybe we just
01:09:03missed our moment
01:09:03if you marry me today
01:09:07you'll always be looking
01:09:08over your shoulder
01:09:09never be completely happy
01:09:11I want you to be happier
01:09:16I can't stand it
01:09:18I'll be right
01:09:25as long as we can get past
01:09:28that angry mob out there
01:09:29oh yeah
01:09:30them
01:09:31I'll handle this
01:09:33really?
01:09:37no not really
01:09:38in fact this time you should worry
01:09:40I have no plan
01:09:40come on
01:09:50help me up
01:09:51give me that candle
01:09:53we'll just wait until I've left the realm
01:09:58I might need the suit of the game
01:10:00Richard?
01:10:02I'll be right back to you
01:10:15engine 41 this is Greatneck Dispatch
01:10:30we've got a fire alarm and sprinkler occupation at St. Paul's church
01:10:33Greatneck?
01:10:34it's not even in our district
01:10:35I know it's out of your district
01:10:38but here's the thing
01:10:40you guys have sort of been
01:10:41requested
01:10:42I know it's out of your district
01:11:12it's out of your district
01:11:13it's out of your district
01:11:15it's out of your district
01:11:15and it's out of your district
01:11:20how you doing?
01:11:22I had to talk to you
01:11:29you know you could have just called
01:11:34So, what's up?
01:11:40This.
01:11:53When I was a kid, I used to have a hard time believing in happy endings.
01:11:57The heroin always seemed to ride off into the sunset with what I thought was the wrong guy.
01:12:02One day my dad found me crying. I was watching The Lady and the Tramp and he asked me what was wrong.
01:12:07I said, Dad, those two dogs don't stand a chance. They're wrong for each other. They have nothing in common.
01:12:14The movie's gonna end and they're gonna break up and be heartbroken forever.
01:12:17He pulled me in close and he said to me, Em, sometimes when you're really in love, you just don't sweat the small stuff.
01:12:25So, are you saying we should run away together?
01:12:28Come on, are you insane?
01:12:29What?
01:12:30You're old enough to be his mother. Wait till he gets out of high school and then go back.
01:12:32Who is that?
01:12:33Good day to you, madam.
01:12:34You said you were going to be on your best behavior.
01:12:35Just, I don't know how you do this and these people, they drive me crazy.
01:12:38Won't happen again.
01:12:39Okay, where was I?
01:12:40Don't swear the small stuff.
01:12:41Right.
01:12:42Well, I guess I didn't appreciate my father's advice for a long time.
01:12:46You kinda have to figure out those things for yourself.
01:12:49But, enough about me.
01:12:50It's quarter past the hour and now for a word from our sponsors.
01:12:53This is Dr. Emma Lloyd. You're listening to Real Love. Please don't go away.
01:12:57There's more to language juice than the great tasting fruit.
01:13:01Haven't you got any cats to pull out of trees?
01:13:04That only happens in cartoons, Mrs. Sullivan, as you well know.
01:13:08Indeed I do, Mr. Sullivan. What can I do for you?
01:13:11I don't know. I just happened to be in the neighborhood.
01:13:13Thought I'd stop by and say hello. Why don't you come here for a second?
01:13:17I can't leave my desk. Have to be back in a few seconds.
01:13:20Oh, come on. They can wait. Just, uh, stand up and walk towards me.
01:13:24You didn't come to see me at all, did you?
01:13:27Of course I did.
01:13:38Oh, come on.
01:13:40Now we're back in five, four, three, two, one.
01:13:45This is Dr. Emma Lloyd. We're back with Real Love.
01:13:50Susie from Morningside Heights. You're on the air.
01:13:53And we're back in five, four, three, two, one.
01:14:02This is Dutch Analoid. We're back with real love.
01:14:05Susie from Morningside Heights, you're on the air.
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