Mash TV 30th Reunion

Russell

The Mash 30th Anniversary Reunion Special, which aired back in 2002. Mash famously lasted nearly four times as long as the conflict it depicted

Transcript

00:00:00Oh, uh, this is the 4077th, eh?

00:00:09Yep, the place is like a blind date.

00:00:11Sounds better on the phone than it looks in person.

00:00:13Sir!

00:00:14Sir!

00:00:17Attention all viewers, tonight's reunion will be M.A.S.H.

00:00:23Starring cast members, Alan Alda.

00:00:26I always wanted to be a doctor.

00:00:28Just ask any little girl I grew up with.

00:00:30Wayne Rogers.

00:00:32Feels like it's going to Martini.

00:00:33Mike Farrell.

00:00:34Oh, boy, will I be here.

00:00:36Jamie Farr.

00:00:37No profiles, please, we'll block out the entire stage.

00:00:41I heard that, I heard that!

00:00:43Gary Burgos.

00:00:44I don't believe it!

00:00:46Loretta Switt.

00:00:47Hi, guys.

00:00:48I'm hooked.

00:00:50Harry Morgan.

00:00:51Absolutely fan-damn-tastic.

00:00:54David Ogden Stiers.

00:00:55The first syllable of Winchester is WENT.

00:00:58William Christopher.

00:00:59This experience has taught me a valuable lesson.

00:01:02And Alan Harbus.

00:01:04What's your name, honey?

00:01:06Hello.

00:01:06Also starring producers, Gene Reynolds, Larry Gelbart, and Burt Metcalf.

00:01:19I don't know how you guys do it.

00:01:20Special Archivival interview footage with Larry Linville.

00:01:24Frank Burns is a lawyer.

00:01:25Frank Burns is a doctor.

00:01:26Frank Burns is everywhere.

00:01:27And McLean Stevenson.

00:01:29We really were one big family.

00:01:31Yeah, it's nice having the children all together again.

00:01:34Plus, all your favorite Nash moments.

00:01:38What say you, parent-based?

00:01:40Uh, radar.

00:01:42The Nash 30th Anniversary Reunion Special will now begin.

00:01:57Here they come!

00:02:04Look familiar?

00:02:06Hard as it is to believe, Nash turns 30 this year.

00:02:09When the show premiered in 1972, America was fighting a war in Vietnam and dealing with turmoil at home.

00:02:17Who knew what would find an audience?

00:02:19But after a rocky start, the company at MASH 4077 went on to occupy an important place.

00:02:25Not just in the annals of television, but in the hearts and minds of America's viewers for the next 11 years.

00:02:31You're looking at a very lucky guy.

00:02:34I was able to be part of the MASH company for eight of those 11 years.

00:02:38Every actor dreams of being part of a truly great ensemble.

00:02:41And for me, MASH made that dream real.

00:02:45Tonight, for the first time since the show went off the air almost 20 years ago,

00:02:49we're going to get everyone together again and kind of have a party.

00:02:54Hope you'll stick around. It'll be fun.

00:02:56I can just see all of us 10 years from now sitting at a reunion.

00:02:59Yeah, the war's been over for a month.

00:03:02We've all got gray hair.

00:03:04Charles has his in a box.

00:03:06Wait a minute.

00:03:08Why wait 10 years? Why not avoid the rush and have a reunion now?

00:03:13I know.

00:03:14Let's listen to the show again.

00:03:19Oh, we're rolling, but get more spontaneous.

00:03:23Before you wrote the pilot.

00:03:25Wait a minute.

00:03:26Before you wrote the pilot, who was so courageous to think that it would make a series?

00:03:31Well, first of all, we're talking about another era.

00:03:33We're talking about another kind of leadership.

00:03:35We're talking about another kind of less corporate approach to entertainment.

00:03:40And here's Mr. Reynolds to explain what I mean.

00:03:41Take it, Gene.

00:03:46The first surprising move, I think, was made by Fox Studios that said,

00:03:53in the middle of this Vietnamese war, we're going to do a show about war.

00:03:57When I first heard about they're going to do a show about a mass unit and so forth,

00:04:01at that time, I thought it was very insensitive.

00:04:04But then the film came out.

00:04:09Check this place out.

00:04:11See what the nurses are like.

00:04:13This is not a hospital!

00:04:15It's an insane asylum!

00:04:18The film did so terribly well that that encouraged them to do the series.

00:04:23The original mash.

00:04:25What we inherited were great characters.

00:04:30Hawkeye and Radar and Trapper and Hot Lips.

00:04:34Those are marvelous characters with wonderful, very complex, very different.

00:04:39So I think that's a big plus for the show.

00:04:41What are you doing here, Pierce?

00:04:42Henry, you're not going to endorse this idiot's application, are you?

00:04:45That's major to you, Captain.

00:04:47Henry, you're not going to endorse this major idiot's application, are you?

00:04:49I think you'll all agree that by trying to introduce more discipline, more order,

00:04:55I have hopefully made this a more enjoyable war for all of us.

00:04:58Doc?

00:04:59Yeah?

00:05:00How come my nurse needs a shave?

00:05:02Blank papers?

00:05:03Yes, sir.

00:05:04Is that a good idea?

00:05:05Just cut down on your workload.

00:05:07You sign them now, lady, you don't have to buy them.

00:05:10But should I have really signed blank papers?

00:05:12I can't answer that, sir.

00:05:14You're the one that signed them.

00:05:15I didn't.

00:05:15Well, the first person I cast was Gary Berghoff.

00:05:18Smart thinking.

00:05:19Smart thinking.

00:05:19What a dream test.

00:05:20He'd been in the future.

00:05:21That's exactly right.

00:05:22I got a contract from 20th Century Fox, and I asked them to please make sure that the contract

00:05:26reflected what we had agreed to at the table.

00:05:29And when I got the contract, it was delivered to my home.

00:05:33And I got the contract, I said, my God, this is better.

00:05:35I get a car, and I get a wardrobe deal for interviews and stuff.

00:05:39And then I looked at the top, and it said Ernest Borgnine.

00:05:44Do you sign?

00:05:45Well, I still happen to be under contract at 20th Century Fox.

00:05:48Really?

00:05:49Really?

00:05:49It's not for a lot.

00:05:53It's to keep my mouth shut.

00:05:54All the stories from the novel of Madge had been used up in the feature.

00:06:04And so Larry and I devised a plot for this opening show.

00:06:09What we had to do, essentially, as you do with most pilots, is compress the movie, in a way.

00:06:14Introduce the leading characters, show them in what would be a typical situation, and sort

00:06:21of miniaturize what had been done in, what, an hour and a half into 26 minutes and 20 seconds.

00:06:25You're both a disgrace to this outfit.

00:06:29Oh, come on, Frank.

00:06:30We've all had 12 straight hours of meatball surgery in there.

00:06:33My brain is sending me urgent rest telegrams.

00:06:36You must be tired, too, after all that malpractice you put in.

00:06:40You're dismissed.

00:06:41Thanks, Mother.

00:06:42We've got to get up early anyway and fix MacArthur's hernia.

00:06:44Come on, there.

00:06:45There was this houseboy named Hojan, and so we thought of the idea of, well, maybe we

00:06:55could find somewhere to raise money to send Hojan, I think it'd been mentioned, away to

00:06:58school.

00:06:59What does everybody want here?

00:07:02What do all these people want more than anything else?

00:07:04To go home, or Tokyo, whichever comes first.

00:07:07What do they really want?

00:07:10Sex.

00:07:10And so we came up somehow with this idea of raffling off one of the nurses for a weekend

00:07:18in Tokyo.

00:07:20You want to raffle off a nurse?

00:07:24Is that what I said?

00:07:25They realized they were kind of in a jam.

00:07:27They're making the money, but how are they going to deliver on something like that?

00:07:30So they rigged the idea that the priest is the winner.

00:07:34Do I understand that the priest of this outfit has just won a weekend with a nurse in Tokyo?

00:07:41It's a prayer come true.

00:07:42And then we called CBS.

00:07:43We called a man named Alan Wagner.

00:07:45We called him long distance.

00:07:47I don't think CBS ever paid me back for that call.

00:07:49And we pitched the idea to him on the phone, the idea of what would be, you know, the first

00:07:54episode.

00:07:55And he said, great, fine, go.

00:07:57I don't think they knew what we were talking about.

00:07:58I don't think they, to this day, they may not know.

00:08:00When we did the pilot, we were out in the mountains, and we were all wearing a freezing

00:08:08cold.

00:08:09We were wearing Hawaiian shirts.

00:08:10That was always my theory, that you couldn't not be close.

00:08:13We had a huddle together.

00:08:14We were hugging.

00:08:15We spent that whole week hugging one another, standing by this barrel with the fire.

00:08:19You were wearing those Hawaiian shirts?

00:08:20Yeah, we were freezing.

00:08:22To the best of my knowledge, the entire outfit is enduring severe hardship due to the lack of

00:08:28warm clothing.

00:08:29Have you got that?

00:08:31As soon as my hand saw out, sir.

00:08:33Yeah, I remember that.

00:08:34The first season where we went up until 10 o'clock at night, from 6 o'clock in the morning

00:08:38up until 10 o'clock at night.

00:08:40What a session.

00:08:41Is it Tuesday or Wednesday?

00:08:43It's Friday.

00:08:44Well, somebody owes us a Thursday.

00:08:46Either that or two Wednesdays.

00:08:47Bill, you know, Bill, Bill came in to read for Mulcahy after the pilot, and he did the

00:08:55unthinkable.

00:08:55He just ad-libbed.

00:08:58He just, nothing that was on the page seemed to find its way to his lips.

00:09:02You never heard of me?

00:09:03Did you ever hear of who wrote the Bible?

00:09:07You know, you can't miss if you've got good material.

00:09:10Anyway, he just improvised, but he was so funny.

00:09:14So we said, you got the part.

00:09:16No, he said he went home.

00:09:18Because, Bill, you were just telling this story the other day.

00:09:20Yeah, I thought I blew it.

00:09:21Yeah, exactly.

00:09:22And then he got a chance to come back.

00:09:25See?

00:09:26Good guy.

00:09:28Mother, it's cold out there.

00:09:30Want my stone?

00:09:31Oh, thank you, my son.

00:09:32One of the scripts that I think Larry wrote, where you had me in this black dress outfit

00:09:38that was zipped up the back.

00:09:40Cigars, cigarettes, candy, gum.

00:09:42At the end of the day, the final shooting, and everybody had gone home.

00:09:45And I was stuck, the wardrobe and everybody, and I couldn't get out of this black dress.

00:09:50And the show hadn't aired yet.

00:09:52You know, nobody knew who the hell I was.

00:09:55So I saw the light in the men's restroom, because we didn't have a restroom on Soundstage 9.

00:10:01So I said, ooh, there's somebody in there.

00:10:03So I went in there, and there's this big grip there, and he's washing his hands.

00:10:06And I walk in with this tight, you know, black outfit and this hat on.

00:10:10And I said, excuse me.

00:10:11He says, yes.

00:10:12I says, could you unzip me in the back, please?

00:10:16They had these great big hands.

00:10:17And he goes, yeah, sure.

00:10:19And he goes, is this me?

00:10:20And then I walked out, and I said, gee, I wonder what that guy's going to tell his wife tonight when he goes home.

00:10:25I saw the ugliest woman today.

00:10:28How could you shame me like that?

00:10:30I'll be the laughingstock of the Nile.

00:10:34What do you mean, Fox was incredibly cheap with our show.

00:10:38Unbelievable.

00:10:39I mean, at one point they told us we couldn't eat any more peanut butter at the coffee table.

00:10:45Can you imagine?

00:10:47So there was no more peanut butter.

00:10:51We didn't have a telephone at the ranch for years.

00:10:55There was no phone.

00:10:57Wayne was going crazy.

00:10:59Wayne had to be on the phone every five minutes.

00:11:01The thing is, the fact that we were in a soundstage that was too small, that we had to make do without a toilet, and that we were constantly having to scramble to make it work anyway, to survive.

00:11:21And there was something about that, that brought us together, and something that also happened on camera, because we had it in reality off camera, that was partly due to the kind of difficult conditions we were working under.

00:11:35Shows with toilet paper are not nearly as tense and alive.

00:11:41I remember the first few scripts that were written by outside writers before we started shooting.

00:12:01There were four or five scripts that were commissioned, and they were all standard service comedies.

00:12:07They were all about hijinks at the front, marching, and people bumping into each other while they were marching, and things that were not...

00:12:15What's wrong with that?

00:12:17That happens.

00:12:18That happens.

00:12:19I know, I know, I know.

00:12:21I like true-to-life things like that.

00:12:23Give it another thought.

00:12:25I thought he'd never leave.

00:12:31But it wasn't what we found out we could be.

00:12:34Quite right.

00:12:35Even though we knew we didn't want to just be hijinks at the front, we didn't have a vision of what it would become.

00:12:41This is a hospital.

00:12:43Doctors and nurses.

00:12:43Where you have doctors and nurses, you have a lot of operating going on.

00:12:48Some of it even in surgery.

00:12:51They've totally destroyed my authority with the nursing staff.

00:12:54They have made a mockery of my majority.

00:12:57What do you know?

00:12:57We're major mockers.

00:13:00Sir, I have to confess.

00:13:03I'm a communist.

00:13:05An atheistic, Marxist, card-carrying, uh...

00:13:08Bolshevik.

00:13:09No, honest.

00:13:10MASH was not a successful show that first year in terms of ratings.

00:13:15Well, that's impossible.

00:13:16There must be some mistake.

00:13:17We were, I believe, number 56 opposite the wonderful world of Disney.

00:13:22And they were just creaming us in the ratings.

00:13:24The critics panned it, too, but we're trying to judge it on its own merits.

00:13:27We really didn't hit our stride until we did an episode called Sometimes You Hear the Bullet,

00:13:32in which Hawkeye's visited by, um, an old friend who is a journalist who is covering the war from the grunt's point of view.

00:13:38Listen, how long have you two not known each other, anyway?

00:13:40What time is it?

00:13:42Right now, 15 years.

00:13:44No, it's more than that.

00:13:45It was, uh, it was back in grammar school.

00:13:46Fourth grade.

00:13:47Fifth grade, remember?

00:13:49He was a wonderful child.

00:13:50He was a bit of a sissy.

00:13:53But he was one of the great milk monitors I've ever seen.

00:13:56Well, that was a very responsible position.

00:13:58It was a depression, and anybody with milk carried a lot of weight.

00:14:02We establish him as likable, fun, kind of a mirror version of, uh, of Hawkeye.

00:14:07But halftime's over.

00:14:08I'd better get back to the war.

00:14:15And then later in the show, Hawkeye's called upon to operate on a newly wounded, uh, soldier that's brought in from the front.

00:14:24And it turns out to be his friend Tommy.

00:14:27He's had 10 milligrams of morphine.

00:14:29Pressure 80 over 50, and thanks.

00:14:31Henry, I need your help.

00:14:33Got another IV with a large-bore needle.

00:14:36Come on, get over there and help me.

00:14:3770 over 50.

00:14:4160.

00:14:42He's got the aorta.

00:14:44Give me some retraction and suction.

00:14:46Father Mulcahy, I can't get a pressure.

00:14:52I've lost the pulse.

00:14:53I'm gonna open the chest.

00:14:54Give me a knife.

00:14:57He said give me a knife.

00:14:59Pierce.

00:15:01Go help McIntyre.

00:15:07For the first time on a comedy, a character who you know, who you come to like, dies on the operating table.

00:15:20That really opened our eyes to the possibilities of what we do in the series.

00:15:24It showed us a much wider vista.

00:15:25That's what it's all about.

00:15:27No promises.

00:15:29No guaranteed survival.

00:15:30No saints in surgical garb.

00:15:32Guns and bombs and anti-personnel minds have more power to take life than we have to preserve it.

00:15:37The more we went into that area of what was really happening, what these real people who had lived through the Korean War really went through, the more nervous the network got.

00:15:53I think we were destined for cancellation.

00:15:56Trapper, it's over.

00:15:58I'll believe that when I'm back home refusing my first house call.

00:16:02I'm very grateful to CBS.

00:16:04They thought it was a good show.

00:16:06And they kept it on the air even though we were at the bottom of the ratings.

00:16:09I mean, you guys saved our lives.

00:16:12Now, on with the secular festivities.

00:16:15It was the end of the first year when we were having our party and Barbara and I were leaving early.

00:16:22We had a concert or something and we said goodbye to you, Alan.

00:16:24And you said, we may not see each other again.

00:16:27Oh, yeah.

00:16:28Really?

00:16:28He just didn't like you.

00:16:29Yeah, well.

00:16:31It was personal, Bill.

00:16:33Well, he's sorry, yeah.

00:16:34We're coming back.

00:16:35Major Houlihan, it's me, Radar.

00:16:38Oh, I'm busy right now.

00:16:40Well, I just thought that you and Major Burns were...

00:16:42Major Burns is not here.

00:16:43Well, then how can you be busy?

00:16:45Get lost!

00:16:46Yes, ma'am.

00:16:48Well, we get to the end of the 22 episodes and I think we climbed from 57 to 47.

00:16:53Said goodbye to each other again.

00:16:56But in the reruns, something very odd happened.

00:16:59People had seen the first runs of all the other shows that were popular.

00:17:05They said, well, let's try out these reruns of MASH.

00:17:08What's that?

00:17:09I'm not through here.

00:17:10That will disregard the rumor.

00:17:11We went from 47 to 18.

00:17:15The second year, Freddie put his parents all in the family and they handed us 35 million

00:17:18people on a silver plate.

00:17:20And the rest is history.

00:17:21Gee, I was standing around minding my own business and all of a sudden, poof, a star is born.

00:17:25The way I got it was that Mrs. William Paley, whose husband ran, owned CBS, loved, loved our

00:17:35show despite our bad time slot and despite, you know, the sort of the dumping of us in

00:17:40this weird place.

00:17:42And she, it was a series of pillow talks where she just said, you can't let that show go.

00:17:45You can't let that show go.

00:17:46That may or may not be true.

00:17:47She had more than his ear and she said to him, let's keep this show on the air.

00:17:52Well, the fact is, Fred Silverman didn't just dump it.

00:17:54I mean, in this day and age, you know, six shows and you're gone.

00:17:57Goodbye.

00:17:57When Mr. Paley picked up the phone and said, keep it, you didn't dump it.

00:18:01I'm sure.

00:18:03Colonel Frank.

00:18:04Oh, uh, Major Houlihan.

00:18:05Major Stoner.

00:18:06Major.

00:18:07Major.

00:18:07Major Burns.

00:18:08Major Stoner.

00:18:09Major.

00:18:10Major.

00:18:10Major Pierce.

00:18:11Major.

00:18:12Well, I think we've made a major breakthrough here.

00:18:14Listen, stick around.

00:18:15Make yourself at home.

00:18:15And we'll be right back.

00:18:17Attention, all viewers.

00:18:18Surprise!

00:18:20Up next, Hawkeye, Trapper John, and B.J.

00:18:23Who would name their kid B.J.?

00:18:25Don't go away.

00:18:26That's an order.

00:18:31When I got into this, Roy, I had a very clear understanding with the Pentagon.

00:18:34No guns.

00:18:36I'll carry your books.

00:18:37I'll carry a torch.

00:18:38I'll carry a tune.

00:18:39I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, carry grand, cash and carry, carry me back to old Virginia.

00:18:45I'll even harry-carry if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun.

00:18:50Alvin Sargent, brilliant screenwriter, once said, always put your characters in the place they least want to be.

00:18:56I could swear I heard a bugle.

00:19:05It is a bugle.

00:19:08Hey, I think we're in the army.

00:19:11Do you know, I don't know who else knows this.

00:19:15We had been shooting for like two or three months before the show went on the air for the first time.

00:19:21And every day for three months, the guy at the gate had stopped me.

00:19:25Who are you?

00:19:25Yes?

00:19:27I'm shooting a show here.

00:19:28I'm an actor.

00:19:29I'm in the show.

00:19:30Who?

00:19:30Who are you?

00:19:31Say my name.

00:19:32We go down to the left here.

00:19:35He's like, no.

00:19:35I said, I was here yesterday.

00:19:36You know, every day that we go through this.

00:19:39And then finally the show went on the air.

00:19:41And the next day I thought life will be different now, you know.

00:19:45So I pull up to the guardhouse and he says, yes.

00:19:48I say, Alan Alda.

00:19:50And he says, Alan Ogre.

00:19:52It took a couple of more months before he could get into the lot to do the show.

00:20:00War isn't hell.

00:20:01War is war and hell is hell.

00:20:03And of the two, war is a lot worse.

00:20:05How do you figure that, Hawkeye?

00:20:06Tell me, who goes to hell?

00:20:09Sinners, I believe.

00:20:11Exactly.

00:20:11There are no innocent bystanders in hell.

00:20:13Hawkeye became a combination, I think, of some of Alan's idealism and activism.

00:20:19I don't think MASH works without Alan Alda.

00:20:23I think that he brought that intelligence and that caring, that compassion and the great humorous talent.

00:20:29Please, please, you're too kind.

00:20:31I don't think we would have succeeded in the way we did without Alan Alda.

00:20:38Good evening, ladies and germs.

00:20:39I'm sorry I'm late, but my watch stopped.

00:20:41It had to.

00:20:41It's been running fast all week.

00:20:44When I was doing the show, people would ask me about the character of Hawkeye.

00:20:48I couldn't talk about Hawkeye.

00:20:52I didn't want to make it too conscious to myself what the character attributes were.

00:20:56Because then I felt the next time I got back in front of the camera, I'd be thinking about what I had said intellectually about the character.

00:21:05And I'd be trying to play that.

00:21:06How do you feel about beer rates in June?

00:21:09Sorry.

00:21:10Bodden, Bodden in July?

00:21:11Mm-mm.

00:21:12Monte Carlo in the fall.

00:21:14Afraid not.

00:21:14How about the macro supply room Thursday night?

00:21:16Okay.

00:21:17I'll bring the saltines.

00:21:17I thought it was great that he was a womanizer.

00:21:22I thought it was a terrific character thing.

00:21:24There was a lot of fun we got out of that.

00:21:27Want to play sardines tonight?

00:21:29Sardines?

00:21:30My tent.

00:21:30I'll bring the oil.

00:21:32So why don't I drop over to your tent around 9.30 tonight?

00:21:35I'll bring a canteen of gin and some Fig Newtons and a little cheese at the cops.

00:21:40You should forget about your mind and pay more attention to your body.

00:21:43Or if you don't have the time, let me do it for you.

00:21:45You're my kind of girl, Nancy.

00:21:48Drunk.

00:21:50I remember a conversation with him very early on in which he expressed to me his discomfort as a guy who chased women.

00:21:59Really?

00:21:59Because that was the antithesis of who Alan Alda is.

00:22:03I'm engaged to a pilot.

00:22:05So am I.

00:22:05I just hope it's not the same one.

00:22:07Hawkeye was a delight to write for because Alan was a delight to write for.

00:22:12I don't think in four years I ever gave him a stage direction.

00:22:14I mean, it just bounced off the page the way I put it there, you know.

00:22:16This is like a painter who has a studio to go to and every day he gets to paint.

00:22:23And then, even if it doesn't go well, the next day he gets to come back and do it again.

00:22:28That frees something in you and it gives you a chance to feel,

00:22:32well, maybe if I just let myself go, I'll get some place.

00:22:35Get some place where I never got before, some place new.

00:22:39I just don't know why they're shooting at us.

00:22:41All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread.

00:22:44Transplant the American dream.

00:22:46Freedom, achievement, hyper-acidity, affluence, flatulence, technology, tension.

00:22:52The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back.

00:22:57That's entertainment.

00:22:59Alan was so wonderfully adept at doing these kind of arias, as I like to think of them.

00:23:03He talked about his rage at having to be where he was.

00:23:07I simply cannot eat the same food every day.

00:23:10Fish, liver, day after day.

00:23:12I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish.

00:23:16I've eaten so much fish, I'm ready to grow gills.

00:23:19I've eaten so much liver, I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions.

00:23:25Are we going to stand for this?

00:23:26Are we going to let them do this to us?

00:23:28No, I say, no!

00:23:30We're not going to eat this dreck anymore!

00:23:33We want something else!

00:23:35We want something else!

00:23:36We want something else!

00:23:37See, I thought I knew what total commitment was.

00:23:40I saw a total commitment that was totally total with Alan Alda.

00:23:45And you just don't find that kind of commitment very often if it's something to learn from.

00:23:54No other show, I think, had ever put characters in such jeopardy before.

00:24:00And at the same time, there was this other thing, which was we had people who wanted to explore that.

00:24:07Watch where you're going!

00:24:11You certainly woke up in your nap cranky.

00:24:13Have a gargle?

00:24:16Our kidneys, sir.

00:24:18They were fun while they were alive.

00:24:19And so were we.

00:24:21He and I would practice and rehearse a joke.

00:24:24And if I couldn't make him laugh, or he couldn't make me laugh, then that was it.

00:24:29You use my razor.

00:24:31I've had several complaints about my armpits.

00:24:34You've got field and stream mixed in with my joys of nudity.

00:24:37Big deal.

00:24:39I'd rather see a naked girl in a canoe built in a dentist's garage.

00:24:44Alan and I used to discuss ways that we could distinguish ourselves from each other

00:24:49so that the characters themselves would have a variance.

00:24:54I think Trapper is more easygoing and philosophical and shrugs things off.

00:25:00My character was a little more impulsive.

00:25:02You dance beautifully.

00:25:05So do you.

00:25:06You're going to be in town for the whole convention?

00:25:08Mm-hmm.

00:25:09I like Trapper, though.

00:25:10I thought Trapper was gutsy.

00:25:11I love the show in which he almost kills a patient because he felt that patient, a North

00:25:16Korean, almost kill one of his patients.

00:25:18That's not what we're about.

00:25:19The reality of the craziness is juxtaposed against the seriousness of life and death.

00:25:28And you just can't take it anymore and you go off the deep end.

00:25:31And the way to deal with that is to deal with that with humor.

00:25:34Underneath all of this, these two guys genuinely liked each other.

00:25:41And I think the public saw that.

00:25:48If you want to know how two crazies Alan and I were, after it was shot, after it was poured

00:25:55in concrete, we would go and re-do it without a camera.

00:26:00And talking about the fact that we could have done that maybe better if we did it this

00:26:04way instead of the way that it was already done and printed.

00:26:09That's awful.

00:26:10Actually, when I came to the show in year four, Wayne used to come in and redo the scenes that

00:26:14he had done the year before.

00:26:15I got a letter from somebody saying I was the greatest, most powerful actor they'd ever

00:26:26seen.

00:26:27They loved everything I did.

00:26:28Would I please sign this picture and send it back?

00:26:30And it was a picture of you.

00:26:33Captain Pierce, sir.

00:26:34Captain Honeycutt.

00:26:35I missed Trapper by ten minutes.

00:26:37Ten lousy minutes.

00:26:38Captain Pierce.

00:26:40Hi.

00:26:41Can you believe that?

00:26:42You couldn't have driven any faster.

00:26:43And let that gay shit take one too many laps on my back.

00:26:47Pierce, I'm just a little confused.

00:26:49Hawkeye.

00:26:50And I'll let a little confusion throw you, Captain.

00:26:52B.J.

00:26:53One of the first things you learn over here, B.J., is that insanity is no worse than the

00:26:57common cold.

00:26:57The idea of possibly being part of it was terrifically exciting, but scary as hell.

00:27:03I was, well, I started out being blown away and frankly...

00:27:07Yeah, that faded fast.

00:27:09How is this group of actors going to feel about this interloper coming in?

00:27:13This sort of stepchild?

00:27:15That answer was very visible very quickly.

00:27:17I was welcomed with open arms.

00:27:21Sorry, Dr. Honeycutt.

00:27:23He made me do it.

00:27:25B.J.

00:27:27B.J.

00:27:29Who would name their kid B.J.?

00:27:31There must be some awful name you're hiding if you won't even tell your best friend.

00:27:34You're such a nudge.

00:27:36It's nudge.

00:27:37There, I told you something.

00:27:38Now you tell me something.

00:27:40No use.

00:27:40I won't budge.

00:27:41Alan and I kind of fell into the rhythm of a relationship early on.

00:27:47Tush, tush, tuchus, spar tuchus!

00:27:50You know, this is a particularly good brew.

00:27:52What's the secret?

00:27:53I used a pair of 1949 sweat socks with matching garters.

00:27:56No wonder.

00:27:56This vintage has legs.

00:27:57All we knew about B.J. was that he wasn't going to be a kind of womanizer and a rake hell the way both Hawkeye and Trapper had behaved.

00:28:08And I thought that was fine.

00:28:09I thought the point was a good one to distinguish B.J. from Trapper Giant.

00:28:13I kept telling him everything was going to be okay.

00:28:17I never prepared him.

00:28:18You can't always know.

00:28:20I knew there was a damn good chance he was going to lose that leg.

00:28:23I just couldn't bring myself to face it.

00:28:24We've all gotten to be experts at not facing things.

00:28:28People identify with the idea of having to be away from home.

00:28:33But knowing that there's a job that needs to be done and the willingness of people to separate themselves from their loved ones and do that job to the best of their ability and be crazy and nuts in order to protect their sanity.

00:28:44But to be torn by the idea that they are where they are instead of where they want to be is something that people identify with whether they've ever been in war or not.

00:28:53Whatever happened to the rules?

00:28:54Let the other guy go first, keep your elbows off the table, share your toys, and life will reward you.

00:29:00But life is a crock.

00:29:02B.J. lived in hope that this situation in which he found himself, this terrible circumstance, would end.

00:29:10And that if he continued to do his best to give of himself to the people in need, that he would be somehow serving his wife and daughter as well.

00:29:19And at the end, he'd be able to go home to them with his head held high.

00:29:23Surprise!

00:29:24Surprise!

00:29:26I know you'd like to be with a little woman today, but that's something we just couldn't pull off.

00:29:30Please, B.J., have a seat.

00:29:34When an actor seriously takes on a character, there is a period of time before you let that character go, and it may be well after the job is over.

00:29:43I don't think I've ever fully let B.J. go.

00:29:45And don't particularly care to.

00:29:52Attention! Next up...

00:29:53I knew you'd say that.

00:29:54Henry Blake, Radar O'Reilly, and Sherman Potter.

00:29:58Not so fast!

00:30:00Don't bug out!

00:30:01Yes, sir.

00:30:02The topic for today has to do with the subject of sex.

00:30:12Who broke my dog?

00:30:14Her.

00:30:14Sir?

00:30:15Him's a her. She's a she.

00:30:16Who's a she?

00:30:17He is.

00:30:17The only thing, G.I., about me is my athlete's foot.

00:30:21So, would you please assign him to the VD tent?

00:30:25What are you trying to do?

00:30:28Boy, he could phrase.

00:30:37He had a tremendous charisma.

00:30:41Yeah, he really did.

00:30:43Oh, yes.

00:30:45Well, I'm afraid this is what you call your command decision.

00:30:49It's lonely at the top time.

00:30:52Strictly something for your leader.

00:30:53Well, Henry?

00:30:58Oh, golly.

00:31:00Whatever you people decide is fine with me.

00:31:02I couldn't believe that a man that was that inept could function in that job.

00:31:08I thought it was like a caricature rather than a character.

00:31:11And then Gene mentioned to me that what he was looking for was someone who could open a door funny as opposed to opening a funny door.

00:31:21Why don't you watch?

00:31:22Where the hell?

00:31:23I don't think any of us can think of McLean without thinking of how hilarious he made us.

00:31:31Oh, everything's fine, sir.

00:31:34Well, not actually fine.

00:31:37Actually terrible rather than fine.

00:31:39But I mean, everything was really fine before it got terrible.

00:31:42And he'd come to me and after a shot and he'd say to me, was that okay?

00:31:45Was that real?

00:31:46I'd say, yeah, wonderful.

00:31:47I felt embarrassed that he was coming to me.

00:31:51But he was always worried that he wasn't good enough.

00:31:57Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school.

00:32:01There are certain rules about a war.

00:32:03And rule number one is young men die.

00:32:06And rule number two is doctors can't change.

00:32:09Rule number one.

00:32:10You believe that?

00:32:15I don't know.

00:32:16He did it beautifully.

00:32:18Mac did it beautifully.

00:32:19Only by bent, but not by any training, was he a dramatic actor.

00:32:23You know?

00:32:24He was a great personality.

00:32:25McIntyre.

00:32:26Well, I check supplies, sir.

00:32:27That's going to be a big one.

00:32:28We're sending out to the blankets.

00:32:29And I clear all the roads for the ambulances.

00:32:31So we don't want to block the ambulances.

00:32:32I'll get on this right away.

00:32:33All right, let's get on this right away.

00:32:34I learned a lot from Gary Berghoff.

00:32:36You see, Gary had the advantage of having been in the movie.

00:32:39The idea of the double talk was Gary's.

00:32:41There's something inherently funny about two people talking almost about the same thing at the same time.

00:32:47Yes, sir.

00:32:50I knew you'd say that.

00:32:52Now, I remember a story involving Gary and Alan.

00:32:56You were on the bus, and they're taking a woman who's going to give birth, a Korean woman,

00:33:01who's going to give birth any minute, and in fact does start giving birth on the bus.

00:33:06And you're yelling frantically, and you're giving him all kinds of instructions,

00:33:10and he's got to help do it.

00:33:11And the baby is scared.

00:33:13The baby comes out.

00:33:15I mean, you deliver the baby.

00:33:16And he says, oh, oh, oh, ick, I saw her fuzzy wuzzy.

00:33:23I never said that.

00:33:25It didn't make it on film, but it was in the daily.

00:33:28You just ad-libbed that?

00:33:29Yes, yes, yes.

00:33:31Who's for keeping it in?

00:33:41What are you doing?

00:33:43What are you doing?

00:33:44Hello?

00:33:45Get out of here!

00:33:46Ah, don't do the...

00:33:48Ah, don't do the...

00:33:48Ah!

00:33:51I'm trying to, sir!

00:33:54Man!

00:33:55Ah!

00:33:56Oh, it's beautiful!

00:33:58The first thing I did was dress him.

00:34:06That's how I created Radar.

00:34:08Radar, you're beautiful!

00:34:10Let me give you...

00:34:10The kind of sloppy, oversized clothes, the boots one size too large for me.

00:34:16You don't give a girl a chance, do you?

00:34:18Glasses, the cap.

00:34:20I picked all those things.

00:34:21The reason why I chose the glasses was because he's supposed to have ESP.

00:34:25Well, you can't play ESP.

00:34:26I think you better forget about the game.

00:34:28Huh?

00:34:29But I figured that if he had a problem seeing, he would compensate with having acute hearing.

00:34:36What is it?

00:34:37Chopper, sir.

00:34:38I don't hear anything.

00:34:43Chopper!

00:34:43What was that when your pants kept coming down?

00:34:47I don't know.

00:34:48It was the shot.

00:34:48We all needed shots.

00:34:49Orphans were coming in or something.

00:34:51And you had to lodge inside Colonel Pardo's office.

00:34:55And you were just sitting there with this wonderful physical attitude that you had.

00:34:59You were exhausted.

00:35:00You know?

00:35:01As I was taking off my pants.

00:35:04You were just looking at me.

00:35:05And it made me nervous.

00:35:07But I guess there's a series of outtakes where...

00:35:10Would you mind...

00:35:11You couldn't stop laughing.

00:35:13Every time you started to take your pants off, you start to break up.

00:35:16I don't take my pants off for Alan Alda every day, you know?

00:35:19Would you mind...

00:35:20Oh, here we go.

00:35:24Well, they also serve.

00:35:28Oh, here we go.

00:35:29Would you mind...

00:35:31Just do it again.

00:35:32Please don't cut it.

00:35:33Okay, here we go.

00:35:35I have an appointment tomorrow at 9 o'clock.

00:35:42I promise my wife I'd never do one of these things.

00:35:44You sure you don't want me to cut, Gary?

00:35:48Would you mind turning your head, please?

00:35:52Because you're pulling yourself together.

00:35:54All right, let's go.

00:35:55I'm ready now.

00:35:55I'm ready.

00:35:58Would you mind turning your head, please?

00:36:01Radar, I'm a doctor.

00:36:02I've seen more behinds than you'll ever have.

00:36:05Do you remember, Gene and Larry, when I asked for a private meeting and...

00:36:10Sure.

00:36:12Anytime.

00:36:14Which one of you?

00:36:15It was the one where I asked that you give Radar a real name.

00:36:19Yes.

00:36:19And then a writer by the name of Prolotsky wrote probably, well, certainly one of my favorite

00:36:25scripts.

00:36:26Quo Vadis.

00:36:26Quo Vadis, right.

00:36:26Captain Chandler.

00:36:27Right, where a wounded soldier who had a head wound came in and some thought he was delusional

00:36:34and he thought he was Jesus Christ.

00:36:35Yes, played by Alan Fudge.

00:36:37Alan Fudge, right.

00:36:38And at the very last scene, I asked him to bless my teddy bear.

00:36:42Bless you.

00:36:43And he said, and bless you too, Radar.

00:36:46And I said...

00:36:47I'm Walter.

00:36:51Bless you, Walter.

00:36:52What in the name of Marco Blessing Polo is going on here?

00:36:56Gary Morgan is one of the ten funniest people in the world because he's a wonderful concentrated

00:37:23actor.

00:37:24He's got a great acting technique which goes back in so many wonderful films and everything.

00:37:29And we admired him so much before he even came on the set.

00:37:33And then all of a sudden...

00:37:34I didn't know that.

00:37:35Well, I did.

00:37:37I should have gotten more money.

00:37:41All of a sudden...

00:37:41All right, tell the Mary Astor.

00:37:43Mary Astor.

00:37:44I was going out to visit a friend of mine at the Motion Picture Home and coming out of

00:37:49the building as I was going in with Mary Astor.

00:37:51A famous movie star.

00:37:52A famous movie.

00:37:53And we started talking a little bit.

00:37:56And she said, I saw the match the other night where you were drunk.

00:38:01And I'll tell you why.

00:38:02Why?

00:38:03Exactly.

00:38:03And they picked you up and you said, did I just fall down?

00:38:09And they said, no, no, Colonel.

00:38:12And I said, I didn't think so.

00:38:15She said, I laughed so hard I peed in my pants.

00:38:18That's why she was in a hallway.

00:38:20No, she was just visiting.

00:38:21No, she was just visiting.

00:38:23She was just visiting.

00:38:24A little later.

00:38:27So I'd like to say that one of the scenes that stands very near to my heart at all times was a scene about saying goodbye.

00:38:35And it was Harry's tontine, the episode where Harry drank to his fallen comrades.

00:38:45The five of us made a pledge we'd save this bottle, let some legal eagles stow it for us.

00:38:53And whoever turned out to be the last survivor of the group.

00:38:57Well, he'd get the bottle and drink a toast to his old buddies.

00:39:04The scene was one in which there was not a dry eye in the tent.

00:39:09Forget about the rest of the world.

00:39:11Well, I opened it and drank it to all of you guys, you know.

00:39:17I loved you, fellas.

00:39:20One and all.

00:39:27One and all.

00:39:57One joke, you had an affair with a general one night.

00:40:00One night?

00:40:01He had a heart attack.

00:40:02He had a heart attack.

00:40:03That's correct.

00:40:04You killed him.

00:40:07You run into the tent and you say,

00:40:09This is terrible.

00:40:11Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.

00:40:13I'm sure it's a first for him, too.

00:40:15Did he try to assassinate you?

00:40:17How do you think he died?

00:40:19I could joke all night long in those days.

00:40:23It's a good thing I'm a nurse.

00:40:25It's a good thing I'm a nurse.

00:40:26Hamilton.

00:40:27Hot lips.

00:40:29Hot lips.

00:40:30Oh, that thoughtful darling.

00:40:33He knows I love fine leathers.

00:40:40Major Burns compliments, ma'am.

00:40:41He's sorry, but he can't keep his date with you tonight.

00:40:44What date?

00:40:45I had no date with Major Burns.

00:40:47We're just acquaintances.

00:40:49Oh, we run into each other once in a while.

00:40:53Well, he can't run into you tonight.

00:40:55You two-timing four-flusher!

00:41:00Oh, Frank.

00:41:03Very often, Loretta and I have a problem when we were acting.

00:41:06We have to literally be serious and stare each other in the eye,

00:41:09under a tree, in a grass field, on a picnic blanket with a picnic basket.

00:41:13Our noses cinches us apart, and I have to look at her and say,

00:41:15You're really so beautiful the way the sun lights up the hairs in your ear.

00:41:20Oh, Frank.

00:41:21Brent and I would go home with the insides of our mouths eaten out,

00:41:24trying to keep from laughing.

00:41:26I have nothing.

00:41:28Nothing!

00:41:30Well, am I nothing, Margaret?

00:41:33You're a government issue, Frank.

00:41:35You came with my mess kit and my khaki girdle.

00:41:38So much for Frank Burns.

00:41:40And after you're home, I'll only be a smile on your face your wife won't understand.

00:41:44It was so wonderful, so rich, that material.

00:41:49Colonel Potter, I want to see you.

00:41:52One step closer and you'll get the whole picture.

00:41:53It's one of my favorite scenes.

00:41:56Is it true you might chip us out?

00:41:58The nurses.

00:41:59It's funny and it's touching, and you see what an army brat she is

00:42:04and how much she loves the military and the discipline.

00:42:08The service is my life.

00:42:10I was born in an army hospital.

00:42:12Started in khaki diapers, eh?

00:42:14The army was all I knew.

00:42:16I had no idea what a civilian was.

00:42:18I thought it was just somebody waiting around for his uniform to come back from the cleaners.

00:42:21When I was five, I had a crying fit because they wouldn't let me have a crew cut.

00:42:26I was born to serve, Colonel.

00:42:28You must let me.

00:42:30Being an only child and being a woman, she wanted to be a soldier for her father as well.

00:42:34I mean, I saw all that in that scene, and it touched me.

00:42:38It touched me about Margaret.

00:42:41Oh, sorry, ma'am.

00:42:42Colonel Zard is no personal calls until after 1,700 hours.

00:42:45How would you like to be up to your knees and floor?

00:42:48What a marvelous combination of power and vivacity and integrity and sexuality and loveliness.

00:42:57Larry was always kind of deliciously cracked, you know?

00:43:03Yeah, yeah.

00:43:03You know, smart as a whip, but a little dangerous.

00:43:06I heard him on the phone once with a reporter.

00:43:08He said, there's a little Frank Burns in all of us.

00:43:10Oh, yeah?

00:43:12Well, there is, you know.

00:43:14What, are you so perfect?

00:43:20Silly clothes.

00:43:22You're not going to like this.

00:43:23I didn't come here to be liked.

00:43:24You certainly came to the right place.

00:43:27Frank Burns is a politician.

00:43:29Frank Burns is a lawyer.

00:43:31Frank Burns is a doctor.

00:43:33Frank Burns is your insurance man.

00:43:37Frank Burns is everywhere.

00:43:38I'm, uh, cursed with perfection.

00:43:43You're inconsiderate, insulting with your nurses,

00:43:46bloody arrogant, demanding, distracting, and dumb.

00:43:49That kind of talk tightens my cola.

00:43:51He was a highly trained, very good actor

00:43:56who was playing a character

00:43:58that was way over the top,

00:44:02and he gave himself to it.

00:44:04The idea that Larry Linville could make this guy

00:44:06live and breathe in a way that was convincing

00:44:09was, uh, never failed to amaze me.

00:44:11I'm sick of hearing about the wounded.

00:44:14Attention! Attention!

00:44:15Now available for the first time ever on DVD.

00:44:19Sorry, baby.

00:44:20Major to you.

00:44:21Why, sorry, Major, baby.

00:44:22Relive the laughter with a complete first season of MASH.

00:44:26Start your collection today.

00:44:29It's a guest regulations to gamble with an enlisted man.

00:44:32You never enlisted, did you, Clinger?

00:44:33When they came for me,

00:44:34I ran like a thief right into Grand Central Station.

00:44:38They trapped me in a pay toilet.

00:44:41Cost them $4 a nickel to get me out.

00:44:43I love a volunteer.

00:44:47What did you think when you got the offer to do the part?

00:44:51I was so happy and so grateful

00:44:53because Mike knows the story.

00:44:54I was down to one can of tuna fish.

00:44:57That was in my house.

00:44:59I was ready to quit the business when I...

00:45:01See, I had done a show with Gene before.

00:45:03F Troop.

00:45:03Which is where we first met.

00:45:04I played a stand-up comic Indian like any young man.

00:45:08The Catskill tribe.

00:45:09The Catskill tribe.

00:45:10I came out and said,

00:45:10Take my squad, please.

00:45:12And, you know, all those kind of...

00:45:14The punchline was the chief of the Hakkawi says,

00:45:17Don't smoke signal us, we'll smoke signal you.

00:45:20So that was the...

00:45:21Anyway, that's where I met him.

00:45:23And so when this part came up,

00:45:24I had no idea.

00:45:26I mean, I didn't have to read for it.

00:45:27He just knew I had the figure.

00:45:29So he called me in.

00:45:31I saw the bony knees.

00:45:33You know, you did have nice legs.

00:45:34I used to notice them.

00:45:42Captain, I have the x-rays you wanted to look over.

00:45:46I wrote the character based on the real-life experience of Lenny Bruce,

00:45:49a comedian who tried to get out of the Navy by dressing as a woman.

00:45:53As a wave.

00:45:54Right.

00:45:55W-A-V-E.

00:45:56For those people who just learned how to spell.

00:45:58And Gene took one look at the page and said,

00:46:00Jamie Farr.

00:46:00And I didn't know who he was talking about.

00:46:02I'd never seen Jamie Farr.

00:46:03And, of course, Jamie was born, unfortunately, to play the role of him.

00:46:07Fingernail polish.

00:46:08Flame DMO, sir.

00:46:10And earrings?

00:46:11They match the rings, sir.

00:46:12I'm a symphony in coordination.

00:46:16Huffle Clinger, 36, 24, 36.

00:46:21He never relinquished any of his duties.

00:46:23He never put anybody in jeopardy.

00:46:25I have scruples, you know.

00:46:27Yes, sir.

00:46:28Will do, sir.

00:46:29He was sort of on strike, so to speak.

00:46:32This was his placard.

00:46:34Obviously, a guy like me is unfit to defend his country,

00:46:37unless we're attacked by the House of Dior.

00:46:40He walked around and displayed his disapproval of being in the service.

00:46:44If you don't throw me out for being a nut, you're nuttier than I am.

00:46:48Sir.

00:46:49This moron is bucking for a Section 8 discharge,

00:46:52and I want you to help him get it.

00:46:54Bless you, sir.

00:46:55It's history, you know.

00:46:57Jamie came in as a day player and stayed for 11 years.

00:47:02My uncle got out of World War II this way.

00:47:04Keeps sending me pieces of his wardrobe.

00:47:06What love that man has for me.

00:47:08What a dope.

00:47:09I had a Betty Davis outfit.

00:47:11I had a Betty Grable outfit.

00:47:13I had a Dame Mae Whitty outfit.

00:47:17Judy from the Wizard of Oz outfit.

00:47:20Did you hear that, Toto?

00:47:21Gone with the Wind of Scarlet outfit.

00:47:24Jamie is a wonderful actor and was capable of such a range of emotions.

00:47:34It's my mother.

00:47:34She doesn't know I'm here.

00:47:35She doesn't know you're in Korea?

00:47:36I didn't want her to worry.

00:47:37Every day she'd wake up with the fear I was going to die.

00:47:40When I was stationed at Fort Dix, I took almost a hundred snapshots of myself,

00:47:43and I've been sending them to her every month.

00:47:45You know, me at the Fort Dix motor pool,

00:47:47me getting thrown out of the Fort Dix officer's club.

00:47:49Wait a minute.

00:47:50Klinger, I think I know a way around this.

00:47:59Alan Arbus, when you were brought in, which show was that?

00:48:04Radar's Report.

00:48:06Weren't you in Deal Me In or Deal Me Out?

00:48:09Weren't you in the poker game?

00:48:10Yeah, many poker games.

00:48:11No, but I think that was your first appearance

00:48:13when he was there sitting there in a red dama shatter.

00:48:16You were brought in for Klinger, right?

00:48:18Yeah, I think that, wasn't that the first time that we had...

00:48:21And when I saw you, I fell passionately in love.

00:48:26Everybody know Klinger?

00:48:28This is Captain Pack.

00:48:29Sir.

00:48:29Major Freeman.

00:48:31Ah, the psychiatrist.

00:48:33Still trying to get out wearing dresses, Klinger.

00:48:35Ear rings with a sweater?

00:48:39Klinger, be creative.

00:48:41I had a young man who claimed to be reincarnated.

00:48:44Said he was with Washington at Valley Forge,

00:48:46and therefore he'd already done his military service.

00:48:49One of the themes of the show was these doctors would go crazy

00:48:52in order not to go crazy.

00:48:54In the morning, in the evening, ain't we got fun?

00:48:58I always felt that Alan understood the craziness as a doctor

00:49:05and loved us in spite of it and, you know...

00:49:08He was crazy himself.

00:49:09Exactly.

00:49:09Happy to see everybody else acting it out.

00:49:11I didn't think he was crazy himself.

00:49:12Did you ever meet a psychiatrist that wasn't a little crazy?

00:49:17Okay, no more mumbo-jumbo.

00:49:19Sidney, what's a psychiatric basis for gambling?

00:49:21Sex.

00:49:22Why, how you've grown.

00:49:24Seems like just this morning you were a little girl in Mary Jane.

00:49:26Sex is why we drink.

00:49:28Sex is why we give birth.

00:49:29Thank you, doctor.

00:49:31I'm taking a $5 chip.

00:49:32That was a house call.

00:49:34Alan Arvis was so convincing to me

00:49:36that I would sit with him between scenes

00:49:40and I would talk about psychiatric theory with him.

00:49:43You are very smart, Friedman.

00:49:44I told you.

00:49:45My daughter had a minor operation

00:49:47and the surgeon came into the hospital

00:49:50and started to talk to me like a doctor.

00:49:52Now, that's crazy.

00:49:53I was using all these words

00:49:55that I had no idea what they meant.

00:49:58Fondling your chips is very infantile.

00:50:01Now, Sidney.

00:50:02What I remember as Alan's first line in the show as Friedman.

00:50:06Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice.

00:50:09Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

00:50:12You know, that was not a written line.

00:50:14That's just something in the culture, you know?

00:50:17Yeah, a blogger.

00:50:17But he gave it just the right kind of shruggy delivery.

00:50:21And when we did the final episode,

00:50:23I made sure that was the last line he said in the whole series.

00:50:27You know, I told you people something a long time ago

00:50:30and it's just as pertinent today as it was then.

00:50:33Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice.

00:50:36Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

00:50:38I remember one line you wrote for me

00:50:41which had to do with putting a plastic Jesus

00:50:43on the dashboard or something

00:50:45and I wasn't sure that Mulcahy would say that.

00:50:47And I said something to you and you said,

00:50:49well, if you don't want to say the line,

00:50:51we'll give it to somebody else.

00:50:52And I said, it's a good line.

00:50:53Oh, my dear, I can't wait to see you

00:51:00But I'm here in South Korea

00:51:04Diva Retractor

00:51:06The curly thing with the curl

00:51:08I do give them complicated names

00:51:10That's the cross we bear, Father

00:51:12Father, we got a guy that says he's Jesus Christ

00:51:16Have you lost your mind?

00:51:18Knock it on his throat, Bobby

00:51:19Bobby, is that nice?

00:51:21I got ten smackers riding on this

00:51:23Calm down, son

00:51:24Everything's gonna be

00:51:25I'd like to help you there, Father

00:51:28But I'm sterile, you know

00:51:30I think he sort of walks a fine line

00:51:31And he tries to

00:51:33He tries to make sure that he's doing his job

00:51:36And there are times when he doesn't

00:51:38They're not even sure what his job is

00:51:40I'm angry with the fools and doles

00:51:42And dodos at the Pentagon

00:51:44Who have more points on their heads

00:51:46Than the building they work in

00:51:47Someone once asked him what Mash was about

00:51:49He said, that's about a priest in Korea

00:51:51Dear God

00:51:54I've never asked you for this before

00:51:55But if you're going to take him anyway

00:51:57Please take him quickly

00:51:59Confirmation is my middle name

00:52:01Oh, bless his heart

00:52:02We used to do Bill Christopher Sandalike

00:52:05Moments around the table

00:52:07Oh, this jocularity is most unseemly

00:52:10How can you make jokes at a time like this

00:52:11Oh

00:52:12And somebody has broken into the sacramental wine

00:52:15Jocularity

00:52:17Jocularity

00:52:18I'm here to entertain the troops

00:52:20The Hollywood parade during the first

00:52:22It was the first year

00:52:23Yes

00:52:23Yeah

00:52:24The Santa Claus parade

00:52:25It was a bitter cold night

00:52:27And we were all in the jeep

00:52:28And Bill, fortunately, had brought some holy water

00:52:32And it was in a sizable flask, I might add

00:52:38And Bill had partaken of the holy water prior to arriving

00:52:42So he could get into character

00:52:44People saw us, he was blessing people

00:52:47Bless you

00:52:48Bless you

00:52:49And as we passed by this one couple

00:52:52I heard this older lady say

00:52:54Oh, isn't that terrible

00:52:55That poor priest is just drunk out of his mind

00:52:57And he who blessed Belus against the holy spirit

00:53:02Better that man had never been born

00:53:04We're a little late, so goodnight, folks

00:53:06Next on the MASH 30th anniversary reunion

00:53:10Give it to me straight, I can take it

00:53:11More war stories

00:53:12You can't miss if you've got good material

00:53:16Stay where you are

00:53:17Let's go

00:53:18That is all

00:53:27The past couple of days

00:53:28I've been making some very careful observations

00:53:30There's a war going on here

00:53:33The question always comes up

00:53:36Was the show about the Vietnam War really

00:53:40Instead of the Korean War

00:53:44Which is the period during which it was set

00:53:47What was it in your mind?

00:53:51It was a show about all wars

00:53:52That's what I thought, too

00:53:54Exactly

00:53:54Thank God you were doing the show

00:53:56Research was a part of my style of producing

00:54:06Doctors who'd been in a MASH hospital in Korea

00:54:10They were invaluable to us

00:54:11As a writer, when you walked into MASH

00:54:13You got a ton of research to take home

00:54:16All these transcripts

00:54:17First-hand experience from doctors, nurses, chopper pilots

00:54:21Information about Korea, information about the Army

00:54:24Information about the war

00:54:25It was amazing how much stuff

00:54:27Gene and I, after the second year, we went to Korea

00:54:29And spent about ten days at the original 8055

00:54:33Which is the fictional 4077

00:54:35And we talked to a lot of people there

00:54:36And brought back a lot of transcripts

00:54:38Which served as fodder for future scripts

00:54:40Attention all personnel

00:54:41By direction of the Secretary of the Army

00:54:44The meritorious unit commendation is awarded

00:54:47To the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital

00:54:494077 unit

00:54:50The 8055 where I was assigned

00:54:53Received a unit citation

00:54:56For handling 5,000 casualties in a two-month period

00:55:01This meant, at times, they were laying all over the place

00:55:05Couldn't keep up with it

00:55:07I don't know how these surgeons kept up with it

00:55:09It was war

00:55:17At its worst

00:55:18There was a lot of suffering

00:55:20A lot of people

00:55:22Died in Korea

00:55:24Uh-oh

00:55:25Choppers

00:55:26Oh, they sound loaded

00:55:27Let's go

00:55:28I hate this place

00:55:33We used to transport the series

00:55:36Very seriously wounded

00:55:38By helicopter

00:55:39To get from the front lines

00:55:41To our hospital

00:55:42So we were right there

00:55:43Pierce, I need you

00:55:45Two seconds

00:55:45One would be better

00:55:47I just

00:55:48Oh, I said

00:55:49This is going to be terrible for me

00:55:51But

00:55:51I don't know how I'll ever get used to this

00:55:54Look at this

00:55:55Oh, God

00:55:57The doctors examined them

00:55:59Before they came into the operating room

00:56:01And some of them were

00:56:03I even

00:56:04I don't like to even say this

00:56:05But they had no chance of survival

00:56:08So they would see

00:56:09Who had a chance

00:56:10And they'd send them right in from there

00:56:12Orally

00:56:13Help me with this man, please

00:56:14The OR scenes in the TV show

00:56:18Were very realistic

00:56:20I have some pictures of those

00:56:22And you wouldn't

00:56:23You'd think it was

00:56:24Every time I show those pictures

00:56:26They say

00:56:27Oh, it looks just like MASH

00:56:28They were very similar

00:56:30Doctors

00:56:30We had interviewed over the years

00:56:32We used to say

00:56:33If you're ever in Los Angeles

00:56:34Come visit us

00:56:35They would all say

00:56:37It was absolutely uncanny

00:56:39The similarity

00:56:41I mean, it was really spooky for them

00:56:43It was like they were taken back

00:56:44In a time frame

00:56:45To relive that experience

00:56:47Just by coming out

00:56:48And seeing the compound

00:56:50In the show

00:56:51The doctors used to have the tent

00:56:53They called it the swamp

00:56:54Well, we had a swamp there

00:56:56And once in a while

00:56:59You would get invited

00:57:00And it was a pleasure

00:57:01It was an honor

00:57:02To be invited to their tent

00:57:04They would have cocktails

00:57:06Haven't you two

00:57:07Anything better to do

00:57:07When you're off duty

00:57:08Than to lie around

00:57:09And swill gin?

00:57:10Sir, I have sipped

00:57:12Lapped

00:57:12And taken gin intravenously

00:57:14But I have never swilled

00:57:16They'd have IV poles

00:57:18Strung up with martinis in it

00:57:20You really can't drink

00:57:21And do your lines

00:57:22It just doesn't work

00:57:23So everybody thinks

00:57:24There was gin in the still

00:57:25There really wasn't

00:57:26There was a lot of vodka

00:57:27Here, here

00:57:29Colonel?

00:57:32Yeah

00:57:32Sir, you better look at this

00:57:33In 1951

00:57:36We were taking care

00:57:37Of a lot of soldiers

00:57:39From Heartbreak Ridge

00:57:40One soldier came through

00:57:43With a large wound

00:57:45Of the chest wall

00:57:46Pierce

00:57:47Look at this

00:57:49The x-ray showed

00:57:51An unexploded shell

00:57:52The commanding officer

00:57:54And one of my friends

00:57:56Joe Amanti

00:57:57Also scrubbed in with me

00:57:58And the three of us

00:58:00Did this surgical procedure

00:58:02You know

00:58:03Isolated part

00:58:04Of the mash tent

00:58:06Sponge

00:58:07Sponge

00:58:08Boy, this is one hot potato

00:58:10This kid can't be 18

00:58:13The genesis of that

00:58:14Was research

00:58:15Finding out

00:58:16That at times

00:58:17The surgeons

00:58:18Would have to deal

00:58:18With someone

00:58:19Brought into the OR

00:58:21With actual live

00:58:22Ammo in him

00:58:24Easy

00:58:24We got it out

00:58:26We gave the shell

00:58:27To the ordinance people

00:58:28And they took it outside

00:58:30And it exploded it

00:58:31And that was that

00:58:32Okay, get it out of here

00:58:34The fact that real people

00:58:36Really lived through

00:58:37This horrible thing

00:58:39Gene and Larry

00:58:40And Bert

00:58:40Interviewed

00:58:41The doctors and nurses

00:58:42Who lived through it

00:58:43And I remember

00:58:45And I remember

00:58:45Leafing through those

00:58:47Hundreds of pages

00:58:48Of interviews

00:58:48And seeing how people

00:58:50Other writers

00:58:51Had bracketed

00:58:52Sentences and paragraphs

00:58:53And gotten whole shows

00:58:55Out of those

00:58:56Those anecdotes

00:58:57You know

00:58:57From those

00:58:58Black binders

00:59:00With all of this

00:59:01Research material

00:59:02An audience knew

00:59:03We were telling it

00:59:04Like it was

00:59:05They were there

00:59:06To save lives

00:59:07That was the prime

00:59:08Concern

00:59:09Of the mass unit

00:59:10And I think the show

00:59:11Tried to show that

00:59:13They never forgot

00:59:14That there was

00:59:15A serious side

00:59:16To the war

00:59:16You lost from your unit

00:59:18Or are you trying

00:59:18To see the world

00:59:19On five dollars a day

00:59:20I remember talking

00:59:21To a doctor

00:59:22From whom I got

00:59:23The story

00:59:23It was happening

00:59:24In Vietnam

00:59:25Where guys were

00:59:26Flying off of carriers

00:59:28Doing strikes

00:59:29And coming back

00:59:29And landing on a carrier

00:59:30And in Korea

00:59:31Of course

00:59:31The same thing existed

00:59:33Guys would fly

00:59:34Across the sea of Japan

00:59:34Do a strike

00:59:35And so forth

00:59:36Come back and land

00:59:36In Japan

00:59:37And so pilots

00:59:38Were not in touch

00:59:39With reality

00:59:40They were up there

00:59:40At 10, 12, 15,000 feet

00:59:42Whatever

00:59:42And they never really

00:59:44Knew what was

00:59:45What was going on

00:59:46Down there

00:59:46Not really

00:59:47So we had this

00:59:48This pilot

00:59:49It was shot down

00:59:50Carried into a mass camp

00:59:52It had a problem

00:59:52With his leg

00:59:53And it was tended

00:59:53And so forth

00:59:54And he let go

00:59:55The remark

00:59:56About saying

00:59:56Well he says

00:59:57I'm in Japan

00:59:58He said

00:59:58Well I tell you

00:59:59If I couldn't fly

01:00:00I wouldn't touch this wire

01:00:02Which was a really

01:00:03Contemptuous remark

01:00:05And so forth

01:00:06And Hawkeye

01:00:06Led him through the post-op

01:00:07What happened to him

01:00:09Somebody dropped a bomb

01:00:10In a village

01:00:11From an airplane

01:00:11Eight years old

01:00:13And there he saw

01:00:14The reality of the trauma

01:00:15And that was

01:00:16That cured him

01:00:18Of his contempt

01:00:19I'm sorry

01:00:21It's okay

01:00:22Twenty thousand feet

01:00:26Is a long way

01:00:27To come down

01:00:27The writing is often

01:00:29Predominantly

01:00:30Very sly

01:00:31I don't think

01:00:31Anybody in this room

01:00:32I dare say

01:00:33No one ever called

01:00:34This show amongst ourselves

01:00:35A sitcom

01:00:36You know

01:00:37It was MASH

01:00:38The MASH program

01:00:40Enabled the

01:00:41People back home

01:00:42To understand

01:00:44The frustration

01:00:45That doctors

01:00:46And nurses

01:00:47And other technicians

01:00:48Went through

01:00:48Every month

01:00:49There's a new procedure

01:00:50We have to learn

01:00:51Because somebody's

01:00:52Come up with

01:00:52An even better way

01:00:53To mutilate the human body

01:00:54Tell me this captain

01:00:56How the hell am I

01:00:58Supposed to keep up with it

01:00:59I'm only

01:01:00If they can invent

01:01:01Better ways

01:01:02To kill each other

01:01:03Why can't they invent

01:01:04Why can't they invent a way

01:01:05To end this stupid war

01:01:07Not everybody

01:01:09Not every kid

01:01:10Goes back to Bloomington

01:01:11Illinois

01:01:1250,000

01:01:13We left 50,000 boys

01:01:15In Korea

01:01:16And we realized

01:01:19It was right for the show

01:01:20Because the premise

01:01:21Of our show

01:01:21Was the wastefulness

01:01:22Of war

01:01:23It's me

01:01:24I got good news

01:01:25Honey

01:01:26I'm coming home

01:01:28Gene and I

01:01:28Planned the episode

01:01:30Jim Fritzell

01:01:32And Everett Greenbaum

01:01:33Themselves unfortunately

01:01:34Gone now

01:01:35Executed the script

01:01:36Abyssinia Henry

01:01:38Was a very very funny show

01:01:39And also a very meaningful

01:01:41Very significant show

01:01:43In the history

01:01:43Of that series

01:01:44Now Lorraine

01:01:45Don't tell anybody

01:01:47We'll just walk

01:01:48Into the country club

01:01:49Saturday night

01:01:50Start dancing

01:01:50And let them all cheer

01:01:52Somewhere in the middle

01:01:53Of conjuring up that story

01:01:55It was not thought of

01:01:57To begin with

01:01:58And I think it was

01:01:59Either Fritzell

01:01:59Or Greenbaum

01:02:00Who said

01:02:00I think Henry

01:02:01Should go into

01:02:02The sea of Japan

01:02:03And as soon as he said it

01:02:05We all realized

01:02:06That it was right

01:02:08Something that happened

01:02:10Between McLean Stevenson

01:02:11And myself

01:02:12At the moment

01:02:13That you brought

01:02:14The final scene down

01:02:16Where you killed off

01:02:18His character

01:02:19And we were on our way

01:02:20To the dressing room

01:02:21When Larry, you and Gene

01:02:22Stopped us and said

01:02:24We have this other scene

01:02:25That we would like to do

01:02:27I took the cast aside

01:02:29And said there's one more page

01:02:30And they looked at it

01:02:32And Gary looked over

01:02:35At McLean and he said

01:02:36You son of a bitch

01:02:37You'll probably win an Emmy

01:02:38For this

01:02:39And McLean said to me

01:02:41Remember the promise

01:02:42We all made to each other

01:02:43That we would not do

01:02:45A television series

01:02:46That made war

01:02:48Seem like it was

01:02:50A Hollywood movie

01:02:52Good guys die in war

01:02:55And so they took their places

01:02:56And they did it

01:02:57And Gary was

01:02:58As he usually was

01:03:00Magnificent

01:03:01If that's my discharge

01:03:02Give it to me straight

01:03:03I can take it

01:03:03I have a message

01:03:05And so it didn't take

01:03:07A lot of summoning up

01:03:08He was really

01:03:09Using the experience

01:03:10Lieutenant Colonel

01:03:11Henry Blake's plane

01:03:14Was shot down

01:03:18Over the Sea of Japan

01:03:20It spun in

01:03:24There were no survivors

01:03:29I was vulnerable

01:03:32I was tired

01:03:33We were all very tired

01:03:35And I was very sad

01:03:37About McLean leaving

01:03:38I mean I felt like

01:03:40I was losing a brother

01:03:41And then we panned

01:03:43And someone

01:03:45Off camera

01:03:46Dropped

01:03:46An instrument

01:03:48A medical instrument

01:03:49And there was a clank

01:03:50It was wonderful

01:03:52I just sort of

01:03:53Brought everybody

01:03:54Back to reality

01:03:55And then we

01:03:55Panned

01:03:56Continued to

01:03:57To the two guys

01:03:59And they kept operating

01:04:00And sort of looked

01:04:00At each other

01:04:01And then went back

01:04:01To operating

01:04:02What else could they do

01:04:03They couldn't bring

01:04:04Henry back

01:04:04But they might bring

01:04:05Back the guy

01:04:06On the table

01:04:06Mash 4077

01:04:10Bits Henry Blake

01:04:11A reluctant

01:04:12And affectionate

01:04:13Farewell

01:04:14When we return

01:04:17Favorite shows

01:04:18Remembered

01:04:19Oh yeah?

01:04:20Stand by for more

01:04:21Of the Mash

01:04:2230th anniversary reunion

01:04:24Right?

01:04:25We were talking about you

01:04:26Three hours ago

01:04:30Three hours ago

01:04:30The enemy

01:04:31Which prefers to attack

01:04:33At dawn

01:04:33Did just that

01:04:35About 18 miles north

01:04:37Of here

01:04:37The wounded

01:04:38Have been arriving

01:04:39Ever since

01:04:39What's up?

01:04:45The interview

01:04:46Yes

01:04:46Yeah, well Gene and I

01:04:48Had seen

01:04:49And Bert

01:04:49We went to CBS

01:04:50And watched

01:04:51The Edward R. Murrow

01:04:52Visit

01:04:53To Korea

01:04:54See it now

01:04:55Which actually

01:04:56It was real

01:04:57And we said

01:04:59Let's make a show

01:05:00That mirrors

01:05:01The Murrow experience

01:05:03The network's big concern

01:05:04Was that we were doing it

01:05:05In black and white

01:05:06They thought

01:05:07America was going to tip over

01:05:09Because everybody

01:05:10Would run across the room

01:05:11To adjust her

01:05:12It was Gene's idea

01:05:14Remember we gave you

01:05:15All 20 questions or so

01:05:16And said

01:05:17That's correct

01:05:17And said

01:05:18Write your responses to these

01:05:19You got a little woman

01:05:20Back home

01:05:21I'm married

01:05:22Yeah

01:05:22Laverne Esposito

01:05:24Terrific gal

01:05:26I don't believe

01:05:27Anybody had done that

01:05:28In television

01:05:28Up until that time

01:05:30It was a wonderful experiment

01:05:31We gave them

01:05:32Certain questions

01:05:33As I say

01:05:34But then other questions

01:05:35Were a total surprise to them

01:05:36And we ad-libbed

01:05:37The answers from our characters

01:05:39It's some of the best moments

01:05:40Because it's

01:05:41Startlingly

01:05:42Real

01:05:42You're seeing a person

01:05:43Really think

01:05:44Can you describe what you do?

01:05:47Essentially I'm on call

01:05:48For all medical emergencies

01:05:49But I've never seen a situation

01:05:50Here that wasn't an emergency

01:05:51I did three amputations

01:05:53Before I had my first breakfast here

01:05:55Fleet Roberts

01:05:56A quite well known

01:05:57And highly regarded newsman

01:05:59Came in and actually did the guy

01:06:00Who came into the mash

01:06:01And interviewed each of us

01:06:02Do you agree now

01:06:04With romanticizing war?

01:06:06You know

01:06:06You still love reading Hemingway?

01:06:11Because he wrote so well

01:06:13But now that I'm here

01:06:16I can't understand

01:06:17Why anybody would

01:06:18Willingly go to a war

01:06:19I remember when Mel Cahey

01:06:22Gets the question

01:06:23Has

01:06:24How has it changed you?

01:06:26How has life here changed you?

01:06:28When the doctors

01:06:30Cut into a patient

01:06:32And it's cold

01:06:35You know

01:06:35The way it is now

01:06:37Today

01:06:37Steam rises from the body

01:06:42And the doctor will

01:06:48Will warm himself

01:06:51Over the open wound

01:06:53Could anyone look on that

01:06:58And not feel changed?

01:06:59That was not from me

01:07:02That was something

01:07:03That you fellas put together

01:07:04And Larry you wrote

01:07:05But we didn't get on camera

01:07:06And do it the way you did it

01:07:07But that was something

01:07:09That a doctor really said

01:07:11That line is a line

01:07:12That was in one of

01:07:13The research question

01:07:14It turned into

01:07:15What I've often said

01:07:16Is the best speech

01:07:17From the whole series

01:07:18Oh yes

01:07:19About the scripts

01:07:20I think one very

01:07:20Constructive thing

01:07:21That we tried to do

01:07:23I think each time

01:07:24Is let's try to do

01:07:25Something different

01:07:26I mean you can't change

01:07:27What it's about

01:07:28But you can change

01:07:29How you tell

01:07:29What it's about

01:07:30Remember Point of View?

01:07:31It's a prime example

01:07:33Of going radical

01:07:34That's very good

01:07:35All right

01:07:35We were talking about you

01:07:36Okay what I have to do

01:07:38Is I have to get

01:07:38The shrapnel out of your neck

01:07:39And I'm going to put a tube in

01:07:41So you can breathe easier

01:07:42David and I wrote an episode

01:07:44Called Point of View

01:07:44Which was seen

01:07:46Through the eyes

01:07:46Of the patient

01:07:47Private Rich

01:07:48Glad you could make it

01:07:49Let me introduce you

01:07:50To the rest of the band

01:07:51And when it was filmed

01:07:53Charlie Dubin

01:07:54Did a great job

01:07:54Of directing it

01:07:55That worked very well

01:07:56It was really a good challenge

01:07:59And fun to do

01:08:00And it came off quite well

01:08:01Didn't win the Emmy

01:08:04But it was close

01:08:05Who directed that?

01:08:08I think I did

01:08:09Why don't you close your eyes?

01:08:12Hey hey

01:08:13Come on

01:08:14Everything's going to be fine

01:08:15I promise

01:08:15Come on

01:08:17My memory is that

01:08:18We changed the form

01:08:19Changed the whole

01:08:20Storytelling form

01:08:21Radically

01:08:22Two or three times a year

01:08:24No

01:08:25Maybe not even that much

01:08:26More

01:08:27More?

01:08:27Truly truly

01:08:27Watch the first year

01:08:29Watch the second

01:08:29I mean

01:08:29I hear it's good

01:08:30I'm sure you did

01:08:31Alan you wrote

01:08:33Some very unusual scripts

01:08:34Well I mean

01:08:35The door was opened

01:08:36By Larry and Gene

01:08:38For us to be able

01:08:39To rethink it

01:08:40Completely

01:08:41To come in

01:08:42From an angle

01:08:42That nobody

01:08:43Had ever come in from

01:08:44The Dreams one

01:08:45I think of the Dreams one

01:08:47Is one of those shows

01:08:55That I think about

01:08:56When I think about

01:08:56How we had the chance

01:08:57To do really different things

01:08:59I had wanted to write

01:09:00A show called Dreams

01:09:01For a while

01:09:02These people under all

01:09:08This pressure

01:09:09What kind of dreams

01:09:12Would they have

01:09:13They would have

01:09:14Dreams of longing

01:09:15Nightmare dreams

01:09:18Some of the blood

01:09:19And the severed limbs

01:09:21Would be haunting them

01:09:23And what would that be like

01:09:25And then

01:09:25What's the connection

01:09:27Between their dreams

01:09:28And the reality

01:09:28That they have to go through

01:09:30We all knew

01:09:32We were

01:09:32Trying to tell a story

01:09:34In a way that was so different

01:09:35We might fall on our face

01:09:37Boy

01:09:45Those times

01:09:46When we knew

01:09:47We were telling a story

01:09:48In a way

01:09:49That nobody had ever

01:09:51Tried to do on television

01:09:52Before

01:09:52You could just

01:09:53Feel the

01:09:54The interest

01:09:55And the excitement

01:09:56Around the set

01:09:56And it was as though

01:09:57We were starting out

01:09:58Fresh as kids again

01:09:59And we had done

01:10:00You know

01:10:01A hundred shows already

01:10:03We were able to capitalize

01:10:04In that sense

01:10:05Often

01:10:06There was the story

01:10:07In which

01:10:07Gary

01:10:08Had left the show

01:10:09And BJ's daughter

01:10:11Called you

01:10:12Daddy

01:10:13And

01:10:15That just

01:10:16Drove him

01:10:17Nuts

01:10:18Sweetheart

01:10:19It was really funny

01:10:20When Aaron first

01:10:21Saw Radar in his uniform

01:10:22She ran up to him

01:10:23And said

01:10:23Hi daddy

01:10:24Out of the mouths

01:10:26Of babes

01:10:26Comes trollery

01:10:27You were so

01:10:28Devastated

01:10:29By the realization

01:10:30That your

01:10:31Child was growing up

01:10:32And had no sense

01:10:33Of who her real daddy was

01:10:35You're wasting your time

01:10:35With that stuff

01:10:36I can tell you

01:10:37From personal experience

01:10:38It won't work for long

01:10:40Really

01:10:40Yeah

01:10:40It may get you drunk

01:10:41But it won't get you home

01:10:42Oh yeah

01:10:43What are you doing

01:10:44Just trying to

01:10:46Hey

01:10:46Stop

01:10:48You know

01:10:51To get an opportunity

01:10:52To delve

01:10:53Into those aspects

01:10:54Of a character

01:10:55Is

01:10:55Well certainly

01:10:57Not done

01:10:58In

01:10:58Situation comedy

01:11:00But

01:11:01But rarely done

01:11:02Even

01:11:02That

01:11:03Thoughtfully

01:11:04In any kind

01:11:05Of dramatic situation

01:11:06Radar

01:11:07So amok

01:11:08I should be glad

01:11:08For him

01:11:09But I'm not

01:11:11I'm so torn up

01:11:14With envy

01:11:14I almost hate him

01:11:15For me

01:11:17For me

01:11:17It was an example

01:11:17Of the kind

01:11:18Of very felt

01:11:19Response

01:11:20That we got

01:11:21From the audience

01:11:21Quite different

01:11:23From

01:11:23A great show

01:11:24A lot of fun

01:11:25I love

01:11:26You know

01:11:26I love the show

01:11:27But this was

01:11:28A personal response

01:11:30Yes

01:11:30And that was

01:11:31One of the great

01:11:32Pleasures of doing

01:11:32It

01:11:33Been going so long

01:11:34Okay

01:11:35A lifetime

01:11:38Aaron's lifetime

01:11:42If I go home

01:11:48Tomorrow

01:11:48I'll never

01:11:49Never get that back

01:11:53Attention viewers

01:12:02The war is

01:12:03Over

01:12:03Stay tuned

01:12:05For the final days

01:12:06Of MASH

01:12:07Goodbye everybody

01:12:08That's the sound

01:12:09Of peace

01:12:10We'll be back

01:12:12Ladies and gentlemen

01:12:18Five minutes ago

01:12:19At 10.01 this morning

01:12:20The truce was signed

01:12:22In Panmunjom

01:12:23The hostilities

01:12:24Will end 12 hours

01:12:25From now

01:12:25At 10 o'clock

01:12:26The war is coming

01:12:44To an end

01:12:44Everybody's on stage

01:12:46With the finale

01:12:46We said the one thing

01:12:48We wanted to absolutely

01:12:48Make sure we had

01:12:49Was an ending episode

01:12:51An episode where we

01:12:51Got to say goodbye

01:12:52To each other

01:12:53As actors

01:12:54To each other

01:12:54As characters

01:12:55And to the audience

01:12:56You holding up okay

01:12:59All things considered

01:13:01Most things considered

01:13:05Everybody wanted to be able

01:13:07To have a connection

01:13:08To having worked

01:13:09On that final episode

01:13:10So Alan became

01:13:12The through line

01:13:13And he wrote

01:13:14From beginning to end

01:13:15But each of us

01:13:16But each of us

01:13:16Whether we were individuals

01:13:18Or a team

01:13:19Would get together

01:13:20And I'll take

01:13:22Acts 1 and 2 with Alan

01:13:23You take Acts 3 and 4

01:13:25Etc

01:13:25So that everybody

01:13:26Got that opportunity

01:13:27Those POWs are locked up

01:13:30Out there like sitting ducks

01:13:31What I wanted to do

01:13:36Was to see if we could

01:13:37Figure out

01:13:38What effect

01:13:39Being in Korea

01:13:42Had had on them

01:13:42What effect the war

01:13:43Had had on them

01:13:44And what I thought

01:13:45Would be interesting

01:13:46To show was

01:13:47That each of them

01:13:48Had been wounded

01:13:48In some way

01:13:49Emotionally

01:13:51Mulcahy lost his hearing

01:13:53And they had to cope

01:13:55With that

01:13:55When they went back

01:13:57We wanted to make it

01:13:59An episode that

01:14:00Would really put

01:14:01An exclamation point

01:14:03On the end of

01:14:0311 years

01:14:05And I think we

01:14:06Tried to make it

01:14:08Just as real

01:14:08As we could

01:14:09As we always did

01:14:10I can imagine

01:14:15How difficult it would be

01:14:17For Alan

01:14:17And the writing staff

01:14:19To find a story

01:14:21For each of the actors

01:14:23That would

01:14:24Allow them

01:14:25To detach

01:14:27What happened

01:14:28To the other people

01:14:29In the truck with him

01:14:30He's the only one

01:14:31That made it this far

01:14:32He wasn't even a soldier

01:14:34He was a musician

01:14:36Tell the truth

01:14:38About who they were

01:14:39Get them out of the camp

01:14:42And

01:14:42Severed

01:14:46We'll never see each other again

01:14:53Look

01:14:54One year

01:14:54Aaron and Peg and I

01:14:56Will come east

01:14:56One year

01:14:57Yeah

01:14:58And we'll get together

01:15:00And

01:15:00Have dinner

01:15:01Yeah

01:15:03In other words

01:15:05Goodbye

01:15:05It's not goodbye

01:15:07It is goodbye

01:15:07Say goodbye

01:15:08What's the big deal

01:15:09Just say goodbye

01:15:09What do you want me

01:15:10To say it for

01:15:10Because it shows

01:15:11You know I'm going

01:15:12What would you do

01:15:13If I was dying

01:15:14Would you hold me

01:15:15And let me die

01:15:15In your arms

01:15:16Or would you just

01:15:16Let me lay there

01:15:17And bleed

01:15:17What are you talking about

01:15:18You're not dying

01:15:19You don't even have a cold

01:15:21Come on

01:15:21Just a little

01:15:22So long

01:15:22I'm gonna get back

01:15:24To the O.R

01:15:24Goodbye

01:15:25It's one minute

01:15:27Before 10 p.m

01:15:28We can still hear

01:15:30The sound of nearby artillery

01:15:31At some point

01:15:32During the next few seconds

01:15:34The guns should go silent

01:15:35As the ceasefire

01:15:36Officially

01:15:37Goes into effect

01:15:38There it is

01:15:57That's the sound of peace

01:15:59Burt said something

01:16:09He said

01:16:10This is the hardest job

01:16:12I've ever had

01:16:13In terms of keeping actors

01:16:14From crying

01:16:15Keep telling actors

01:16:18They shouldn't cry

01:16:19The scenes

01:16:20The scenes we all had

01:16:21Wherein we said

01:16:21Goodbye to each other

01:16:22So long Francis

01:16:23You've been a godsend

01:16:26Well look on the bright side

01:16:29When they tell us

01:16:31We have to do time

01:16:32In purgatory

01:16:32We can all say

01:16:33No thanks

01:16:34I've done mine

01:16:36There were a lot of tears

01:16:38Shed that day

01:16:39Because everybody knew

01:16:41That the war was ending

01:16:43But also certainly

01:16:44That this series was ending

01:16:46You'd do a scene

01:16:47And somebody would say

01:16:49Cut print

01:16:50It was one step closer

01:16:54To the end

01:16:56Of something that had been

01:16:57Absolutely

01:16:58The most wonderful thing

01:17:00That could happen

01:17:00To any performer

01:17:01I know you've got

01:17:02Your career in order

01:17:03But don't forget

01:17:05To have a happy life too

01:17:06Oh dear sweet man

01:17:09I'll never forget you

01:17:11There was something about

01:17:14The fact that we all knew

01:17:15It was the end

01:17:15Including the audience

01:17:17That no matter how funny it was

01:17:19There'd be something

01:17:20Bittersweet about it

01:17:22I think

01:17:22Because it had meant

01:17:23Something to all of us

01:17:24It had become a part

01:17:26Of the culture

01:17:26It's an extraordinary

01:17:31Experience to have gone through

01:17:33Well boys

01:17:34It would be hard to call

01:17:36What we've been through fun

01:17:37But I'm sure glad

01:17:39We went through it together

01:17:41I miss you

01:17:44I'll miss you

01:17:45A lot

01:17:47I can't imagine

01:17:51What this place

01:17:51Would have been like

01:17:52If I hadn't found you here

01:17:52This was one of the most

01:17:58Profoundly moving

01:18:00Personal experiences

01:18:02Of my life

01:18:03I feel like I

01:18:04Gained a family

01:18:05By coming to the show

01:18:07And somehow

01:18:10Never lost it

01:18:11One of the things

01:18:14I always loved about the show

01:18:15Was the fact

01:18:16That it never talked down

01:18:16To the audience

01:18:17And I thought

01:18:18That that last shot

01:18:20In the movie

01:18:20Where you pulled away

01:18:23And the goodbye

01:18:24Written in stones

01:18:25Was our way

01:18:27To say goodbye

01:18:28To the audience

01:18:28Goodbye and thank you

01:18:29Attention, attention

01:18:42Now available for the first time ever on DVD

01:18:47Sorry, baby

01:19:00Major to you

01:19:01Why, sorry, Major, baby

01:19:02Relive the laughter

01:19:03With a complete first season of MASH

01:19:05Start your collection today

01:19:09There's never enough time

01:19:14When we're together

01:19:15Twenty years

01:19:17Thirty years

01:19:17Seems like yesterday

01:19:18MASH may have ended in 1983

01:19:21But the children and grandchildren

01:19:23Of our original audience

01:19:24Have seen to it

01:19:25That the show has taken on a life of its own

01:19:26Translated into fifteen languages

01:19:29And embraced in over twenty-five countries

01:19:31Around the world

01:19:31I don't exactly know

01:19:33The secret of our success

01:19:34None of us does

01:19:36But we know that thanks to you

01:19:38We were part of what was

01:19:39A truly remarkable experience

01:19:40And that's a privilege

01:19:42For which we will always be grateful

01:19:43Thanks for being with us again

01:19:46Good night

01:19:47We have several people missing

01:20:00And I would like to make a toast

01:20:02To all of them

01:20:03Who made this possible

01:20:05For all of us

01:20:06And straight ahead

01:20:22The real MASH units

01:20:23Will be proud of our Nick Gregory

01:20:24Tonight

01:20:24He is going to show you

01:20:26How his angel flights

01:20:27Are saving lives

01:20:28New concern about the West Nile virus

01:20:30We've got some important information

01:20:32You need to know about

01:20:33Plus under this

01:20:34They're putting in a new stop sign

01:20:35Too bad it's too late

01:20:36To prevent a bad accident

01:20:37And it's been two weeks

01:20:38How did that Special K Diet work?

01:20:40Is it right for you?

01:20:42Fox 5 News is next

01:20:43Which is going to follow you

01:20:52And we've talked about you

01:20:53Yeah

01:20:53That's what you're doing

01:20:54I mean

01:20:55I think we want to know

01:20:55you

01:20:56How is it actually

01:20:57I want to know

01:20:57You

01:20:58To be honest

01:20:59You

01:21:00To be honest

01:21:01You

01:21:02You

01:21:03You

01:21:04You

01:21:05You

01:21:06You

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