- 2 days ago
The Handsome Vampire – Episode 1 (2025)
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Yeah
00:30I can't believe I'm so close to Freddie Jones.
00:39Charlotte, why are you just standing here when there's people without hors d'oeuvres?
00:44Sorry, sir, the caterers ran off so I could get more.
00:46Finally, more hors d'oeuvres.
00:48I was just talking to the head of the studio.
00:51We share a ski cabin.
00:52She's having a great time, Uncle Beth.
00:54Oh, at least I have one intern who knows how to host a party.
00:57Charlotte, you could take a few notes here from Ava.
01:01This isn't your backwoods Applebee's.
01:03This is a Hollywood party.
01:05Hey, hey, Mark Hall Gossler!
01:07He's right.
01:09You're too uptight and sweaty.
01:11It's not helping your whole Walmart aesthetic.
01:14It's not helping that I can work in this entire party by myself.
01:17It doesn't matter how hard you work.
01:20People have to like you.
01:21Nobody likes a martyr who dresses like she works at the DMV.
01:25Give up and go home.
01:27Thanks, Ava, but I don't need advice on how to charm a room from a nepho baby.
01:31I've been working for TIP since I was 15.
01:46Mr. Jones?
01:47Call me Franny.
01:51Right.
01:52Um, I'm so sorry.
01:53You don't need to be sorry.
01:55This party needed a little excitement.
01:57It was trash and everybody knows it.
01:59Yeah.
02:01I mean, I prefer your earlier work, but you were still excellent.
02:06Thanks for telling me the truth.
02:08Nobody tells me the truth anymore.
02:09Well, it was, uh, nice bumping into you.
02:18Hey, Mr. Jones.
02:20Hey, you should be the one entertaining our store client.
02:23Not her.
02:24I can only hire one of you.
02:25Right now, she's winning.
02:27Do better.
02:28Let's go.
02:58I know, so that's awesome.
03:00I know.
03:02I'm not sure what I'm drinking.
03:04Hey, Augusta, you're on a good side.
03:06One, two, man.
03:08Okay, great.
03:14Where am I?
03:16Good morning.
03:22Good morning.
03:28Good morning.
03:30Good morning.
03:32Good morning.
03:34Good morning.
03:36Good morning.
03:38Good morning.
03:40Good morning.
03:42Good morning.
03:44Did you forget that today is the first day of your master plan?
03:46Come on, man. Get down here.
03:48Yeah, I...
03:58Hey, what is from here, Mr. Jones?
04:03I don't know whether you pour radiant on screen or off.
04:06Hey, what can I get you? You want a coffee, water?
04:09No, I'm fine, thanks.
04:10How about I'll just... I'll get both, just in case.
04:16Close the door.
04:18Oh, negative. Your favorite.
04:24I figure after last night, you would be pretty hungry.
04:28I didn't even like that, eh?
04:30I needed help, and I needed an exit.
04:33Come on, Freddy.
04:34I've been your best friend and your enabler for the last 200 years.
04:38During that time, I've known you to be very picky, very cautious,
04:43and a very, very demanding vampire.
04:46So come on.
04:48Give me something.
04:49How'd she taste?
04:53I don't know, man.
04:54I think she was an intern.
04:55I didn't even get her name.
04:57But nothing happened.
04:59Good.
05:00Cause I got enough to worry about while you're going away undercover.
05:04You sure about this plan?
05:06I mean, come on.
05:07Why can't you just go to the Maldives like every other actor?
05:10I just need to get away from everything.
05:11The business.
05:13Our parents.
05:14This whole movie star lifestyle.
05:16It's just...
05:17But why do you want to go undercover as an intern?
05:19Is this about that intern girl?
05:21Yeah, I may have come on a bit strong.
05:23I don't know.
05:24There's just something about her.
05:25But how do you know dressing up like an intern is going to help you get to know her?
05:28And how do you know that when you get close to her, you're not just going to blow your cover?
05:32I don't know. I'll play it cool.
05:33I'll work hard.
05:34Hopefully our paths will cross.
05:36I can feel it, though.
05:37Fine.
05:38I'll do what I can.
05:40But please, promise me you're not going to let this intern thing distract you from your actual job.
05:45Thanks, Colton.
05:47This is going to be the role of a lifetime.
05:52Better.
05:53You can't help but look like a movie star.
05:57I think I might need help from a glamour, so...
06:00Ah, so I didn't know if you wanted all of it.
06:04Where's Mr. Jones?
06:06He had an engagement.
06:08Who's this?
06:10This is Edward, our new intern.
06:12Oh, great.
06:13Another one.
06:14Well, let's get you started.
06:15Jesus.
06:16This might actually work.
06:17When can I expect money from you?
06:18I'm bartending nights and weekends.
06:19If you don't make some more money soon, you won't have a home to return to.
06:32Do you know the debt we're in?
06:33We're going to lose the bar if you don't start helping.
06:34The internship is going great.
06:35I'm going to have a new job before we know it.
06:36Okay?
06:37Um, I have to go.
06:38Bye.
06:39After you humiliated yourself in front of the entire industry.
06:40I'm surprised you even came in today.
06:41What happened to me last night?
06:42I have to go.
06:43Bye.
06:44I'm going to have a new job before we know it.
06:46Bye.
06:47I'm going to have a new job before we know it.
06:48Bye.
06:49Bye.
06:50Bye.
06:51Bye.
06:52Bye.
06:53Bye.
06:54Bye.
06:55Bye.
06:56Bye.
06:57Bye.
06:58Bye.
06:59Bye.
07:00Bye.
07:01Bye.
07:02Bye.
07:03Bye.
07:04Bye.
07:05Bye.
07:06Bye.
07:07Bye.
07:08Bye.
07:09Bye.
07:10Bye.
07:11Bye.
07:12Bye.
07:13Bye.
07:14Bye.
07:15Bye.
07:16Bye.
07:17Bye.
07:18Bye.
07:19Bye.
07:20Bye.
07:21Bye.
07:22Bye.
07:23Bye.
07:24Bye.
07:25Bye.
07:26Bye.
07:27Bye.
07:28Bye.
07:29Bye.
07:30Bye.
07:31Bye.
07:32Bye.
07:33Bye.
07:34Bye.
07:35Bye.
07:36Bye.
07:37you can show around the new intern we have a new intern yeah yeah that guy hey come on over here
07:43oh kogan yeah you jesus stop doing workouts and talk to her hi i'm edward
07:57hi i'm edward
07:59are you okay yeah i'm charlotte let me show you around
08:11hey cutie oh hello are you ready for junior exec no i'm not looking for anything permanent
08:19oh good we should get along fine then so where are you from look i'm supposed to help charlotte
08:25with something so between us charlotte's character isn't going to get very far in this industry
08:33this was her last night
08:40where are you going to go help charlotte like you should have done last night
08:45so freddy just went on vacation when he gets back he's going to want something very different for
08:56his next project we're looking for something that's very character driven but at the same time something
09:00that only he could play so ideas what about a period piece you know freddy has this classic quality to
09:08um like could almost be from a different time um i could see him in a western or a jane rosson movie
09:15oh that's really perceptive excuse me interns but the grown-ups are talking do you know who you're
09:21talking to do you know who you're talking to
09:26i mean it's fred edwards first day sorry
09:41oh i totally forgot i've actually gotta run but i'm greatly looking forward to hearing all of your ideas
09:48when you're big shots you can open your mouth every time a dumb idea pops into your head but until
09:57then you're nobody i'll remember that good charlotte you can say and clean up after the party i'll tell
10:04the cleaning services to skip this weekend tonight but i have another job oh great but you should have
10:10thought about that before you embarrassed our department ava happy hour i'm buying
10:23you know you don't have to stay and clean up with me right i don't mind can i ask you something
10:30are ava and seth real pieces of you i shouldn't laugh
10:36no you should you have a really beautiful smile no but seriously why are they always like that
10:45i don't know it's just kind of the way they are ava is in the running for the same job as me and
10:50seth's her uncle so anyway what's your story why are you here
10:59i mean you can call it a quarter like prices
11:01i don't know i guess i've just been sheltered my whole life so i just wanted to try something new
11:07you wanted to try picking up trash with me i mean there's worse ways to spend your day
11:14plus i thought you can you know teach me a few things i can learn the ins and outs
11:20deal
11:25shoot i'm gonna be late for work but this isn't work
11:27not for me you know we don't get paid right what i'll see you on monday
11:41hey coleman yeah give me the personal file and try it soon
11:45yeah i need to know everything about it also we gotta start paying these interns all right
11:57why would you want to meet here you hate places like this yeah you do what can i get good to mr hart
12:14edward do you guys know each other
12:17us no no no no look he's a friend of my father's
12:22i just didn't want anyone to think i was another nebo baby that's why you're so sheltered
12:29don't worry your secret's safe with me do you know what you'd like
12:33yeah we'll take uh two bloody mary's extra bloody
12:42what small world small world and oh look right there is where it tells you where she works in
12:49your personnel file yeah would you look at that i think you already did she's amazing though
12:55top of her class full-rise scholarship she could be anything i don't know why she'd want
13:01to settle at the bottom in hollywood sounds like somebody else that we know even the drinking
13:07okay you know ava had a lot to do with that it smelled on her a mile away
13:11if you have some time this weekend and you feel like getting your hands dirty
13:17yeah sure i'll be right back with those drinks
13:24oh brother we are in love
13:29can you make mine a double please thank you
13:41hey so how do you know if a script is worth pitching a good script grabs you on the first
13:46page and doesn't let go you can't stop thinking about it edward save yourself some time if a script
13:51isn't on the blacklist it's a pass it's that easy like this one
14:05once you find a script you love it makes all the drudgery worth it at least for me
14:09hey stop gabbing and get me your weekend script reports i need something that screams freddie
14:15jones to bring to coleman so what do we got i read a lot of great scripts uh this top one is a
14:21modern take on sunset boulevard isn't that like black and white that's one of the greatest movies of
14:26all time you sound just like freddie jones he always says that that's the movie that inspired him to act
14:32look at you two sounding like nerds and losers living in the 50s a contact to send an action romance
14:38that's perfect ava you are the best i bet freddie's gonna love that
14:49yeah i bet freddie will love that yeah
14:52this script has a lot of heat and it's a great part for freddie yeah if we don't jump on this now
15:03tomorrow i promise we're gonna read in the trades and leo's doing it it's really good
15:07uh but it's completely wrong for freddie but it's got everything action sex he even has his shirt
15:21off for over an hour yeah but there's plenty more where that came from good because freddie's looking
15:29for a wide spectrum so i'm gonna want to hear pitches from all of the interns and whoever can
15:36pitch a film that freddie actually wants to buy gets the junior executive position
15:52you okay honey that beer has more head than a truck stop men's room yeah sorry
15:57it's just work stuff work stuff or romance stuff don't look so shocked spending 20 years in a bar
16:07i get really good at reading people okay i don't even know if it's mutual it is how do you know that
16:14because i got a sense about this stuff plus he's sitting over that table and he just asked about you
16:27what are you doing here well i got those scripts that said toss some trash and how you want to talk
16:36about it okay
16:39thanks for coming out tonight you know even if nothing happens i i love talking about movies with you
16:48i love talking about movies with you too honestly four hours does not seem like enough time
16:53i love talking about them
17:00smell that oh negative
17:03my favorite that's interesting
17:17Let's take them both
17:26I'm hungry
17:28Sleep again
17:29He's one of us
17:32No way
17:35It's that
17:37I gotta go
17:47You'll never guess who just came in
17:51You're his biggest fan
17:54Can you imagine being so famous if we lie about being on vacation?
18:14Don't you have work you should be doing?
18:15My contact just sent me another hot script, so
18:17No
18:18Hey Charlotte
18:26Um, can I get your help? I jammed the printer again
18:30Again?
18:32Yeah
18:32Seriously?
18:34Yeah
18:34Hey, what do you have for me?
18:41I just forwarded you a new script everyone is talking about
18:44That's all you have
18:45That script just sold, and it's not even what he's looking for
18:50Aren't you even listening?
18:51How am I supposed to find something small and pretentious?
18:55It's boring!
18:56Figure it out
18:57I got you to third base
18:58You can score your own home run
19:00If that farm girl brings in a script that Freddie wants to buy
19:03I can't stop Coleman from hiring her
19:06Get on it!
19:09Now!
19:10Jesus fucking Christ!
19:12Okay, maybe I did want to talk to you
19:26Okay, maybe I did want to talk to you
19:38Yeah, well you better do it fast because I might have to run away suddenly with no explanation
19:42Okay, Charlotte, look about the other night
19:45It's fine, you don't have to explain
19:47We worked together, you did the smart thing
19:50We should keep it professional, right?
19:58Yeah, I mean, that's what you want
19:59If you don't do it like that, you're going to rip it
20:03Is this my proposal?
20:07Yeah, that's pretty much extra copies for you
20:10It's so nice
20:12Well, it should work now
20:16Okay
20:18Thanks
20:20Why is the door locked?
20:32I didn't lock it
20:33It must have been Ava
20:37Hey, are you okay?
20:40It's, I'm claustrophobic and you can find spaces that make me panic
20:45Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's going to be okay
20:48All right, you're going to be okay
20:49Trust me for a second, okay?
20:52Better?
21:09How did you do that?
21:12Just a little trick I learned
21:13Yeah, you're right
21:17We should probably keep it professional
21:20Wait
21:26What's going on here?
21:48Why is the door locked?
21:52Okay
21:53All right, let's get you out of here
21:55Come on
21:57Man, being an intern is hard work
22:08By the way, have you seen Charlie's proposal?
22:11It's pretty good
22:12Freddy, it's time to go back
22:14I've got paparazzi circling the kill
22:19Just looking for a scoop
22:20And guess what?
22:21You know who's been calling me?
22:23Diana
22:24And she's been asking me questions
22:26Okay
22:27So what, Diana?
22:28Has paparazzi working for her now?
22:30Vampire paparazzi
22:30When is that woman ever going to realize it is not going to work out between us?
22:36I don't care what she wants or what my parents want or what the paparazzi wants
22:40It's not going to work
22:42Yeah, well, it's easy to be patient when you're an immortal bitch
22:45True
22:46I know you and Charlotte have a bond
22:49It's time to call a ramp on Eddie
22:53And time to get back to work
22:55Back to my lonely, gilded cage?
22:59You signed up for this
23:00She didn't
23:02How's your project proposal going?
23:11Why do you care?
23:12I want it to be good
23:13If I'm going to hand it in
23:14What are you talking about?
23:15My contact fell through and
23:17I can't hand in nothing
23:19So, unless you help me
23:20I'll have to hand in
23:22This
23:23The fuck, Angel?
23:27How'd you get pages from my journal?
23:29Carol, how you talk to me?
23:30You're one phone call away from being a stupid slut that tamed Freddy's career
23:34They're so scandalous, we didn't even sleep together
23:37I don't understand why you would do this, Ava
23:41If you work for Freddy, you're going to ruin his career
23:43I won't
23:44Unless you force me to
23:46So what will it be?
23:58Let's get set up
23:59They love the proposal so much
24:02They want me to present it to the board
24:04I hope you're happy with yourself
24:05You're looking at the new junior executive
24:08Don't worry
24:09I requested you stay on as my personal intern
24:13Hey, where are you going with that?
24:28Have you seen Eddie?
24:34Looks like your little boyfriend left without saying goodbye
24:36Let's focus everyone
24:37We have a lot to discuss
24:39I guess he wasn't as into you as he thought
24:41I don't think we'll need you for this meeting
24:43I'm pretty sure there's some cleaning to do around the office
24:45Fine with me
24:46Mr. Jones?
24:51Where are you going?
24:55Please stay
24:55Hey, everybody, what's the name?
24:57Sure
24:59You can take notes
25:01There he is
25:03End of the hour
25:04Hey, welcome back, Freddy
25:06Looking tan and refreshed
25:07Better than ever
25:08Thank you, Seth
25:09Appreciate that
25:10I would really like to know what this movie is
25:17At its core
25:18Ava
25:19This is your baby
25:21I would love to hear from you
25:22Well, at its core
25:24It's a Freddy Jones movie
25:25That's what people are paying to see
25:27So what's your vision?
25:29Do you see this more as a classic Hollywood homage?
25:32A mystery?
25:33A romance?
25:34I think it has it all
25:37What's your favorite part?
25:39The ending
25:40What happens in the end?
25:42Your character
25:43Uh
25:45Wins?
25:47No, it's funny
25:48You wrote such an elegant summary
25:50But you can't recall any major plot points
25:53Or how it ends
25:54I'm just curious
25:55Did you actually read the script?
25:56Or did you just have AI spit out a report for you?
25:59Of course I wrote this
26:00It's just been a few weeks
26:03And that
26:03I
26:04What do you think?
26:09At its heart
26:09It's
26:10To romance
26:11A mystery with a satirical edge
26:15But
26:15Ultimately a love story
26:17With its poignant and
26:20Tragic ending
26:21Sounds like a good movie
26:23Why do you think
26:24It would be beneficial
26:25For my career?
26:26Because
26:27People might not know it yet
26:29But you can do more than look good
26:30With your shirt off
26:31Opening weekend
26:32They're gonna go to see
26:34Freddie Jones the movie star
26:35But come Monday
26:36They're gonna tell their friends
26:37To go see Freddie Jones
26:38The actor
26:39I love that
26:44You sold me
26:46Ava
26:48I would like you to take notes for Charlotte
26:50From now on
26:51What the hell was that?
27:01Ow
27:01You're hurting me
27:03I just answered his question
27:04You set me up
27:05You humiliated me
27:07You should have prepared me better
27:08I just know I had to prepare you
27:10Didn't you read what you handed in?
27:11Oh it was insanely long
27:13And I have better things to do
27:14That was the whole point
27:15Of using your proposal
27:16You made me look like an idiot
27:18No Ava
27:19Actually
27:20You did that all on your own
27:21You made me look so bad
27:23I need an explanation
27:24She set me up
27:25Your assistant executed a master plan
27:28To embarrass you
27:28And take control of a meeting
27:30If that's true
27:31Then we should probably have her
27:32On the executive payroll
27:33She planned this
27:34With Freddie
27:35I have proof
27:36Just to humiliate me
27:38They slept together
27:40That's enough
27:41Liz I'm sorry
27:42Where is it?
27:44Where is it?
27:45Where?
27:47It's just
27:47Here it is
27:49Can we get security please?
27:51No
27:52It was her
27:55They slept together
27:55Why don't you believe me?
27:57Let go of me
27:58Do you know how much this dress costs?
27:59I'll see you again soon
28:05Hey
28:14So
28:17How'd it go today?
28:18Where were you?
28:21Ray Jones
28:22Look out
28:24Get out of here
28:25No
28:25I told you guys
28:25No
28:26No pictures
28:26Go
28:27Get out of here
28:28Go
28:28What the hell is going on?
28:32Why did they
28:32Call you Freddie?
28:36Look Charlotte
28:36I
28:36I never meant to trick you
28:40Please
28:49I don't
28:52I don't know what to think
28:53I don't know who you are
28:55Charlotte
28:56We just wanted a story
29:22But I guess we'll settle for something else
29:26Get the fuck away from me
29:30Charlotte
29:41Are you okay?
29:43You look hurt
29:43Are you hurt?
29:44I'm fine
29:45I'm so sorry
29:46This is all my fault
29:48Why are you apologizing?
29:49You just saved me life
29:50The boss is going to love this
30:00The boss is going to love this
30:00You sure you're okay?
30:11I think so
30:12Does that hurt?
30:21A little
30:22Are they always following you like that?
30:27Is this what it's like to be Freddie Jones?
30:30I'm sorry I got you under this
30:32But I hope you don't sneak out this time
30:35Weren't you hurt?
30:42I think you might have hit your head a little too hard
30:44Just probably lie back
30:46Look I live in a world full of powerful people
30:51And not all of them are good
30:53There you are
30:55All I want to do is protect you Charlotte
30:58Hey
31:12Good morning
31:15Good morning
31:15Listen I have a breakfast coming up for you right now
31:19I'm going to step out and make a quick phone call okay?
31:23Just lie back and rest
31:25Alright
31:26Coleman
31:39Hey
31:39What do you know about the paparazzi attack last night?
31:42That cannot happen again
31:43We got it boss
31:44You don't have security
31:45Yeah
31:45She better
31:46Shit
31:49How long has it been?
31:52I hear you and Freddie have been very busy boys behind my back
31:55Look
31:56I'm sure you're disappointed that he's not going to do another sequel
31:59As am I
32:00But he's already made up his mind
32:01Listen dipshit
32:03We both know which head he's thinking with
32:05And it's not the one above his shoulders
32:06Well that's not my business
32:08Actually fuckhead
32:09It is your business
32:10My guy just sent me these photos
32:26No I don't know the pay rate yet mom
32:29But it's
32:30It's entry level
32:31$3,000 a month
32:36I'm supposed to
32:37No I know it's a
32:38Okay mom I have to go
32:44Okay bye
32:46What was that all about?
32:50Nothing
32:50You know this is all
32:53Really nice
32:54But I have to go work brunch in an hour
32:56What?
32:57Cancel
32:58We can stay in bed all day
33:00I got food brought up to us
33:01Look you just got a promotion
33:03You don't need to be working back over there
33:04Yeah well until I get my first paycheck
33:06I'm not going to chance it
33:07Fine
33:09Do what you want
33:11Let me know if you need anything else
33:18Thank you
33:18Diana?
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