- 6 weeks ago
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00:00Everybody's in the pool, y'all.
00:06Everybody, everybody, everybody likes that.
00:09Everybody's in it.
00:12Everybody's feeling spirit.
00:15What?
00:16Everybody's feeling spirit, y'all.
00:19Everybody like it.
00:21Everybody, finally.
00:23Finally.
00:26Move up our timetable.
00:28The Kree are coming.
00:30Don't touch it.
00:35We whipped up an antidote.
00:36We tried it on some rats.
00:38Show them, Gavin.
00:39Behold!
00:40What, turn them into spiders?
00:42What?
00:43Oh, sorry, Trunkie.
00:44Behold!
00:46They killed them, Gare.
00:47And that tiger ran out of time, man.
00:49Also, we got the spiders out of Mrs. Cranbrook's belly.
00:53But we didn't get them all.
00:54So what does this mean for Mr. Strikes?
00:56What else can we do?
00:57Gary, you know what it means.
01:01It's over.
01:04Let me do it alone.
01:07Hey, buddy.
01:11Oh, God.
01:13This just isn't fair.
01:14You're gonna die and someone like Mrs. Cranbrook gets to keep living.
01:19I'm so sad.
01:23All this over at Tiger.
01:26I've never seen him like this.
01:27He's like proper sad.
01:29He's seen a lot of people die.
01:31Yeah, man.
01:32But you never know what's gonna trigger a man's emotions.
01:35I remember when they ended Family Matters.
01:37Without wrapping it up.
01:38Without having Laura and Steve get together and get married.
01:41I webbed like a baby.
01:42They never got together?
01:43No, man.
01:44The CBS set burnt down, so they just called it quits.
01:47No ending.
01:48Wow.
01:48It's all messed up in the game, man.
01:50I'm gonna go make sure he's okay.
01:54Son of a gun!
01:55Gary!
01:56How you doing, buddy?
02:00Oh, this is a bad idea.
02:01Freedom!
02:04Gary, where are you?
02:06I'm taking Mr. Stripes far away where you can't hurt him.
02:08You better find an antidote, Hanley.
02:09I'm not coming home without me toy, guy.
02:11Come on, Gary.
02:12That tiger's infected.
02:14He's dangerous.
02:15Yeah, maybe you're right, because he's currently murdering an entire bag of fully loaded chips.
02:19Stripes loves how fully loaded they are.
02:21Feel dumb?
02:22Well, it's not good for him, Gary.
02:23It's full of saturated fats.
02:24Fuck off.
02:25Okay, call me when you have an antidote.
02:27Hey, Stripes, give me one.
02:28Okay, so you know what?
02:29You have a call.
02:31We're here.
02:33You know, I used to come here with someone who was really special to me.
02:37And now you're here, because you're special to me.
02:47And there came a day unlike any of us.
02:49Multiple dismemberments.
02:50Necklaces made out of teeth.
02:52That means the identity the killer can only be...
02:55We'll pick up there on Mondays.
02:56So, I'm running security at ConCon this weekend, and I could use a couple extra hands.
03:02Have some self-respect gang.
03:04Nobody wants to be security.
03:05That's the lowest form of law enforcement next to mall cops, doormen, and mouth guards.
03:09Winona, you're young and therefore broke.
03:12Want to make some extra money you'll never save?
03:14I actually do quite well.
03:15You'd be surprised how much change I find inside of people.
03:17See, I knew she would turn you down.
03:19And I don't even know anything about Bloody Gloves Jacket Girl.
03:21It goes both ways.
03:23The more I learn about flute, the more it bums me out.
03:25It's like reading a bio of a shelter dog.
03:27It's sadder.
03:28But Kang, since you'll be there, you should stop by my booth at CrimeCon and get a pic with me.
03:32You have a booth?
03:33That's right.
03:34It's a chance to give something back to my fans.
03:35For $10.
03:37Cash only.
03:37I don't know how Bitcoin works.
03:39And I'm gonna need lots of merch for my diehard flautus.
03:42I can sell this, and this, and this, and this.
03:45You ruined everything.
03:47I was finally going to kiss a beautiful, nice girl.
03:50She had my heart, and I had her.
03:53Why must dark forces conspire to extinguish love's light?
03:58Your mind's warped.
04:01Your fundamental idea of life is sad.
04:04Everyone, we finally have our Romeo.
04:08Does everyone have a feel trip about me?
04:11But what about Juliet?
04:13Don't you worry.
04:14Ruth's Chris's Stewie Griffins, Principal Shepherds,
04:16Daz Lerman's, William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.
04:20What was the question?
04:21I don't remember.
04:22I don't remember.
04:28Hello, I lost my boss, so I'll be your substitute presenter today.
04:33Where are all my fans?
04:34But no watching Ratatouille.
04:35I think they're at their beats.
04:40The importance of protected Patriot Ale products
04:43in relation to the greater New Jersey market
04:46as prepared by Heston Lloyd.
04:49Historically, our annual field trip
04:50is to a program called Scared Straight.
04:53I've already lost him.
04:54What can I do?
04:56I need a beer.
04:56I think we had to shift.
04:59Ah, much better.
05:00Gears.
05:01Anyway, we're going to...
05:03Look, you're not going to understand beer
05:05with numbers or power points.
05:06Ah, change of plans.
05:07Beer is good because it makes you feel better
05:09and do awesome things you wouldn't normally do.
05:12Beer makes memories that will last
05:14until you blackout.
05:16And when you forget, there are no regrets.
05:18Just take them there.
05:22Beer is courage.
05:23The courage to moon people from a not-moving trap.
05:26You're going to lay your one chance to see a nipple.
05:28Beer helps you achieve new heights.
05:29Even if it is attached to a woman on a meat hook.
05:30A tongue to shoulders of unwilling strangers
05:31in a chicken fight.
05:32Bridget, hi.
05:33I need to ask you about it.
05:33Beer makes your crap to brass ring.
05:35What a taser of a casino security guy.
05:37All the fans are lined up for bad guys.
05:39But if you won't listen to me,
05:40listen to some rink.
05:40They're supposed to worship good guys
05:41in an unhealthy, parasocial way.
05:43That's how it used to be,
05:44but after all the true crime podcasts
05:46and Netflix docudramas,
05:47now all they care about are psycho killers
05:49in which Hollywood mop with perfect teeth
05:51will play them.
05:52And they're only perfect
05:53because they usually have veneers.
05:54Kind of feels like you're the only one
05:55talking about teeth.
05:56Damien!
06:00I'm with Damien Flesher,
06:02who last year confessed to eating 31 people.
06:05Since his incarceration,
06:06he's become a reformed cannibal
06:07and best-selling author of the vegan cookbook
06:10Tastes Like Kevin.
06:11Okay, with Flesher!
06:17Sorry, folks,
06:18but Flesher's not a cannibal.
06:19The real killer is Bridget.
06:21Oh, yeah, I already went over it.
06:25I'm the cannibal.
06:26Flesher took credit to build his brand.
06:27CrimeCon was just a ruse to enact my revenge.
06:29There was all PowerPoint and everything.
06:34And you all are okay with that?
06:36Yeah, we're fans!
06:37We gotta like someone, right?
06:39Yes, but why obsess over famous people
06:41you'll never meet
06:42when you can be fans of people
06:43you actually can?
06:44You there in the audience,
06:45what's the most interesting thing about you?
06:47Sometimes I go to the hospital
06:48and I switch the babies in the cribs.
06:52Okay, maybe not that guy.
06:53But today, I learned more about Winona
06:55in a few hours
06:56than I have in years of working with her.
06:58Did you know she was a kicker
06:59on her high school football team?
07:01We don't know who Winona is!
07:03And neither did I until today.
07:05But now,
07:06I'm her biggest fan.
07:08Nice try, Flute.
07:09But my new fans still expect
07:10a show!
07:11My eyes!
07:19Flute, catch!
07:21Yikes, what's that,
07:22like 9,000 lumens?
07:25Oh!
07:32What are you waiting for?
07:35Go get her.
07:37Oh God,
07:39have I become the rom-com best friend?
07:42Winona, wait!
07:46You were right about Flesher.
07:48And about me.
07:49If you're gonna give me a speech
07:51about how you set out to find fans
07:53but really you found a friend,
07:54don't.
07:55Because that will make me puke.
07:56Yeah, I'm already queasy.
07:57I feel like I do when Summers
07:59tries to find the silver lining
08:00and everything.
08:00Well, our squad car may be on fire,
08:03but now I can see you better.
08:06Wow,
08:07we really did become friends,
08:08didn't we?
08:09Now what do we do?
08:10Maybe we just keep making fun
08:11of our co-workers together
08:12and see where it takes us.
08:16Yes!
08:17And your eyes are even half open!
08:19Just hold on a little longer,
08:20Grandma.
08:21Why is he running?
08:22He has jetpacks.
08:23Just fly!
08:25Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
08:27She passed.
08:29Oh.
08:32So when your parents ask
08:33what we did today,
08:34what are you going to say?
08:36Not Grandma Varsity!
08:38Perfect!
08:39Ha ha ha ha ha!
08:40Ha ha ha ha ha!
08:41Ha ha ha ha ha!
08:42Have fun sculpting the minds
08:44the hands of the next generation,
08:45idiot!
08:54Still got it.
08:55Ha ha ha ha!
08:56Ha ha ha ha!
08:57Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
08:58Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
09:00can I get a sip off that juice box?
09:03Bento!
09:05Bento.
09:35Bento.
10:05Bento.
10:35Bento.
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