00:00So, Charlie Reimer spent the whole weekend dead in his office.
00:08I didn't really know him, but still I felt a connection.
00:12Since I once fell asleep in my office and didn't wake up until Saturday.
00:15Poor Charlie.
00:17Poor Charlie. Poor me.
00:19He was doing all my work. Now I'm stuck with it.
00:21A little compassion, Keith?
00:23The man had a heart attack. He died and he sat there alone for two days.
00:27He wasn't alone. According to the coroner, at some point a squirrel joined him.
00:32The real tragedy is that when he went to dial 911, he forgot to dial 9-9-1-1.
00:38I sent a memo.
00:40I guess the good news is the company is slowly weeding out people who don't read memos.
00:45Oh, speaking of which.
00:49What's this?
00:50A memo.
00:52Remember how important it is to read them?
00:54The company is making us go to a grief counselor.
00:56A grief counselor?
00:58What if we're not sad?
01:00It's mandatory.
01:01They can dictate our emotions now?
01:04Let's just imagine for a moment what that would look like.
01:07Attention.
01:08The following emotions will be felt by the following people.
01:12Jenkins.
01:13Bitter.
01:13Thompson.
01:14Hopeful.
01:15Richter.
01:15Happy.
01:17Totaler.
01:18Disgruntled.
01:20Damn!
01:21I always get disgruntled.
01:23I'm sick of it!
01:24They can't dictate our emotions, but they can tell us where to go, when to go there, and how long to stay.
01:33They always tell us where to go, when to go there, and how long to stay.
01:36I'm sick of it!
01:37Sandy, I need a favor.
01:42I was supposed to take Wendy to this thing, where they show the sound of music, and people come dressed up in costume, and sing along, and gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.
01:51Anyway, Charlie died, dumped all my work on me, so I can't go.
Be the first to comment