- 12 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Today is the very first commitment ceremony previously.
00:05This is where the hard work begins.
00:09I can't communicate with you and you don't listen.
00:12You don't back down.
00:14Tension built as two couples clashed.
00:16It's been proper difficult.
00:18This isn't gonna work.
00:19No emotional connection.
00:21No communication.
00:23I thought we could build from the wedding day.
00:26Just miles apart.
00:28So for that reason, I won't leave.
00:31And there was zero tolerance for Sarah.
00:34You went around gossiping about your husband.
00:37You were laughing at it.
00:39As her scathing behavior towards Dean was exposed.
00:42This man is talking about how lovely his partner is.
00:46And you are on the other side of the room disrespecting him.
00:51It's not me. It's not who I am.
00:55Tonight.
00:56Hello.
00:57Hello.
00:58It's experts week.
00:59Do I have permission to remove your robe?
01:01While some couples lean into physical intimacy.
01:04Ooh.
01:05I hope you know where the key is for that.
01:06Anita's patience with Paul wears even thinner.
01:09Surely you should know what you want by now.
01:11Are you expecting me to be fully committed after two weeks?
01:14I need to know where this relationship's going.
01:17No, I'm not hanging around.
01:18And an unwanted interference in one couple's marriage.
01:22Other people don't need to know my shit.
01:24Because you'll see a side of me which probably you won't like.
01:27I'm not having it sold it.
01:29I was trying to come to a new relationship.
01:30I'm not.
01:31Couldn't give a flying .
01:32Because I'm here for my relationship.
01:33Causes two husbands to collide.
01:35It's one of the people just basically just .
01:39You're not part of this relationship so see yourself out.
01:43I'm absolutely starving.
01:55There's a hair in me pineapple.
01:57It's yours.
02:05It's the morning after the group's first commitment ceremony.
02:08Which David could not attend as he felt unwell.
02:13I'm never doing it alone again.
02:15I felt really guilty about not being there.
02:17Your letter was absolutely gorgeous.
02:19It did make me feel supported.
02:21Hopefully I made you proud.
02:23I am proud of you for doing it by yourself.
02:25Of the boys who look the best.
02:27It's rude.
02:28It's actually just rude at this point.
02:29You look really cute for failure.
02:31Who looked the best out of the boys?
02:32Me.
02:33Me.
02:34I do.
02:35There you go.
02:36Yes, you did.
02:37I felt like I was a bit blindsided yesterday at the commitment ceremony.
02:50When it was revealed that Sarah was kind of talking about me.
02:53In not the most positive of waves sometimes.
02:57It was a lot.
02:58I didn't expect everything to come out.
03:00It did come out, you know.
03:01It did catch me off guard.
03:02Disrespect is a big thing to me.
03:04It's like my biggest red flag.
03:06Hearing that word.
03:07I was like, whoa.
03:08I was literally white knuckling the couch, I think.
03:10I was like, ah!
03:11This is intense.
03:12What's going on?
03:13It wasn't nice to hear.
03:15Yeah, absolutely.
03:16And it wasn't okay.
03:17You don't like it's okay and it's not okay.
03:19It's because I want my wife championing me.
03:21It was hurtful and I needed to get that across.
03:24Because usually I'd be like, it's okay, it's okay.
03:26But I feel like this time I'd be like, no, that did hurt my feelings.
03:29I want my wife in the corner saying all the great things about me.
03:32Like, he's funny.
03:33He does these caring things for me.
03:34I don't want to be sitting there worrying like, oh, did I annoy her?
03:37Is she going to tell everyone I annoyed her?
03:38And, yeah.
03:39And it's something I didn't think I had to think about.
03:41It was a bit of a wake-up call and I do need to, you know, obviously consider your feelings
03:46at all times and think before I say anything.
03:49I found our first commitment ceremony pretty hard.
03:54You know, I really, really like Dean.
03:56I would never want to hurt him.
03:58I'm ready to move on, you know, taking those baby steps and just seeing where it takes us.
04:03I just want to make sure that you're okay.
04:05Yeah, it was, it was hard, but like, I am okay.
04:07Like, you know, I mean, I'm okay.
04:09Which is one of those things, we won't let it happen again.
04:11You know, like, it's one of those, like, we can let that happen, but that's, you know, that's it.
04:14Lying under it.
04:15Yeah, 100%.
04:16So it would be silly to hold on to a grudge when we've both said sorry and said our piece, like,
04:20got to move on, fresh chapter, and hopefully be in a better place on the couch next week.
04:33There were some great points that Paul and Charlene touched on.
04:37Did anything stand out for you?
04:39The fact that obviously we did argue just to separate and just have that time away
04:44before we start back fresh, do you know what I mean?
04:46Perfect.
04:47Just make sure that everything is just all clear.
04:49I felt the commitment ceremony in general was quite intense.
04:53I think it gave Devani a bit of a reality check and a little bit of a shake-up as well.
04:57I felt like he opened up last night and I just understand a bit more how to best support him as well.
05:02It feels like we hit the reset button properly now.
05:07Obviously they said I should have a little bit more fun, let down my hair.
05:11We're actually strong.
05:13The things that we need to work on is just mainly our communication
05:15and that's what I'm going to go into this week doing.
05:18I'm excited.
05:19I was open and honest at the commitment ceremony.
05:30I wrote leave because that's how I felt.
05:32Paul and I haven't actually had that initial spark.
05:36Obviously being in the separate apartments, we're not living in the same space.
05:40But Paul is a kind, sweet man.
05:44I want to show that I am being open and see if he does start asking questions
05:49and showing a bit of interest.
05:57Stranger.
05:58Hello.
05:59After the first ceremony, I'm feeling a little bit upset.
06:03Got your peace offering?
06:05Oh, bless.
06:06I thought Anita and I had a lot in common.
06:08I thought we had a great foundation stone to build on.
06:11It's nice to be nice, isn't it?
06:12Mm-hmm.
06:13In my wedding vows, I said I would give it 100%.
06:16It would be nice if she allows me to try and give it 100%.
06:21Why did you think I wrote leave?
06:23Well, you said you came in to find love.
06:25Yeah.
06:26I think there was a word missing.
06:28I came to find instant love, because it was only eight days in.
06:34I wrote leave because of the lack of interest.
06:37The lack of interest in me and my life.
06:41Because I think that is the basics of starting to get to know someone.
06:47Obviously, when we were in this apartment last time, I was,
06:49can you remember my children's names?
06:50And you said, no.
06:52You want to be asked the questions to volunteer the information,
06:55and I volunteer the information.
06:58Are you expecting me just to go, I'm Anita, I've got two children,
07:02I've got three grandchildren, I'm an operations manager,
07:05da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da?
07:07Do you expect that?
07:09Yeah, because that's what I did.
07:10Because you could have talked about yourself.
07:16We're here to find out about each other.
07:18We're married.
07:19Paul definitely needs to ask more questions.
07:22If I'm not feeling it, I'm not getting what I wanted,
07:25then I'm off.
07:26I'm done.
07:27I'm done.
07:37How you doing, you all right?
07:38Yeah, good, you?
07:39Yeah, good. A bit tired, but I'm all right.
07:40I know, me too.
07:41Yeah, eventful evening?
07:42Yeah.
07:44After the intensity of yesterday's commitment ceremony,
07:47some of the couples went to let off steam at a local bar.
07:50Stephen and Nelly have had a bit of a disagreement.
07:56After the commitment ceremony, Stephen did go into himself
07:59and then, naturally, Nelly needed a little bit of reassurance.
08:03Then I feel like a couple of people picked up on it, said to him,
08:05I'll go up to her, and I feel like, as a typical man,
08:07when people are telling you to do so,
08:09and he kind of fights against it a bit more, so...
08:11Yeah, and I think he just was, like, going into himself
08:13more and more, wasn't he?
08:14He did a bit, yeah.
08:15Yeah.
08:20It was really good at the commitment ceremony,
08:22but last night, Stephen and I had our first bit of conflict.
08:27I think the last couple of days, I've just felt, like,
08:29a little bit on edge.
08:31He's not being the same as he was on the honeymoon.
08:35It's been absolutely spot on.
08:36I couldn't have asked for a better match.
08:38Despite their perfect honeymoon...
08:40Where the hell have you been for 34 years of me life?
08:43I don't know what to say.
08:45Stephen's approach to validation...
08:47Reassurance, for me, can be quite hard to give
08:50if I felt like I've given enough.
08:52Mm-hm.
08:53..fuelled Nelly's insecurities.
08:55We just had a really, really good time.
08:57But then I would think,
08:58he's not giving me a kiss this morning.
09:00And then I think, yeah, it's because he doesn't like you.
09:04I probably did need a little bit of validation,
09:06and I was being needy.
09:09But he does feel distant.
09:11Then last night, we all went out for some drinks.
09:14Other people started picking up on it a little bit.
09:16Some of them were saying to Stephen, like,
09:18tell her how good she looks, and he didn't like that.
09:22I'm really sorry that it's upset him,
09:24but these are my friends.
09:26I need to lean on them.
09:27I need that reassurance.
09:31Last night made me feel a little bit uneasy.
09:33Kia walked in with Nelly, asking me to compliment her.
09:37Absolutely no idea why Kia's got involved.
09:41I believe Nelly said something to the group
09:43about our relationship.
09:44That needs to stop,
09:45because it will just wind me up even more
09:47if more and more people get involved in stuff
09:48they shouldn't and don't need to be involved in.
09:53Let's just talk over, I guess, what happened yesterday.
09:57People were coming in,
09:58Kia being the main instigator,
09:59telling me that I've got to compliment you
10:01and how you've worn this top just for me only.
10:03So I'm thinking, what has Nelly been saying?
10:08I was just telling them that you have pulled back
10:10a little bit since honeymoon and stuff.
10:13That was all.
10:14Kia was just trying to have my back more than anything
10:16and just make, try and make me feel a little bit good.
10:18It feels like you're going behind my back and talking shit.
10:20I would never...
10:21No, but this is what I mean.
10:22In the moment, that's what it felt like.
10:26I didn't ask them to have this conversation with you.
10:29Other people don't need to know my shit.
10:34It's just going to blow up this situation
10:36worse than what it actually is.
10:38I can't be having people.
10:39I can't have to be again,
10:40because you'll see a side of me
10:42which probably you won't like.
10:47Let's be honest.
10:48You haven't been the same since the honeymoon.
10:51And that's why I needed a bit more reassurance from you.
10:56I've been standoffish
10:57because you've already created scenarios
10:59of when things are going to go wrong.
11:01I'm thinking,
11:02oh, shit,
11:03is she now going to look for things?
11:05But that's what I do
11:06and that's what I said to Paul
11:07on the commitment ceremony.
11:08I'm doing this
11:09and I hate that I'm doing it.
11:12Sorry, I don't want to get upset,
11:13but I hate that I'm doing it
11:14because I'm going to potentially
11:15throw something away
11:16that is just my protection mechanism coming up
11:19so that I don't get blindsided.
11:21This is why I'm single.
11:23But if you're already in that self-sabotage mode
11:25or got shit in your mind,
11:27that's just going to make it ten times worse.
11:29Just be yourself.
11:30It will get back to the honeymoon stage.
11:32But that comes in time.
11:34I hate getting emotional about these things.
11:36It sucks having to tell someone
11:38it's because of my past.
11:39I am a little bit worried about
11:41if I am going to push him away,
11:42but, well, we can't go on like we were,
11:44so I haven't got a choice.
11:45Like, do you feel like that's everything off, like?
11:47My main issue is with other people,
11:49and I'll have those conversations with other people.
11:53Still feeling annoyed with a few things.
11:55I really want to have a conversation with Kia today.
11:57I don't want people meddling in millionaires' business.
11:59You're not part of this relationship,
12:01so see yourself out.
12:02See yourself out.
12:08Last night, drinks were flowing,
12:10we were having a fun time,
12:12but Leah was being a little bit flirty with Rebecca.
12:15She has said to me before
12:17that she's got a flirty personality,
12:19and it's something that I've dealt with in my past,
12:21so I just don't want to feel like I'm being disrespected.
12:26Last night, I started to feel like
12:28you were being overly familiar with Rebecca,
12:31and then because we've had conversations before
12:33and you've said you're quite a flirty person...
12:35No, I didn't say I'm a flirty person.
12:37I said people sometimes take...
12:38You've got a flirty personality, you said.
12:39OK.
12:40So you did say that,
12:41and then I started to feel like
12:42you were being overly familiar with Rebecca,
12:45and it started to make me feel a little bit like
12:47I was like, hmm, that's a bit muggy.
12:50I think because she's from a similar area to me,
12:52I do gravitate to her,
12:54so I do feel like it's more that than anything,
12:56but I think the bottom line of that is
12:59you realise at this point that you liked me more than you thought,
13:03because you got a little bit jealous over Rebecca,
13:05that's why you thought, I'm going to pounce on you.
13:08OK, let's get into that, shall we?
13:10You got jealous?
13:11Obviously, that's coming from somewhere.
13:13I wouldn't feel that way if I just saw you as a friend.
13:16I feel like we both are getting a little bit closer
13:18to that romantic side.
13:20We had a kiss last night, which is not something we've been doing.
13:24Yeah, it was nice, to be fair.
13:26We shared a kiss last night.
13:28If I'd just purely viewed Leah as a friend behaving that way,
13:32it probably wouldn't have bothered me.
13:33So the fact that it did,
13:35obviously there are some feelings there that I maybe wasn't aware of.
13:38I need to speak to Kea after last night.
13:48I didn't like the way he was acting with Nelly.
13:51Paraded around like a bit of meat.
13:53Who's at the door now?
13:58Hello, how are you?
14:02I need to tell him, look, your actions for last night
14:05don't sit right at me, and now it's affected my marriage.
14:11Last night, I got frustrated with you.
14:14With everything going on with Nelly and I, with the distancing stuff.
14:17I just wanted people to basically just fuck off.
14:20Kea, you brought her over to me and was like,
14:23comment on her outfit, comment on her breast.
14:26In that way, I don't want anyone to get involved.
14:29Just leave me alone.
14:34Sorry, I'm actually still just confused as to what I've done.
14:38Nelly had said that she was feeling down,
14:40didn't feel very cute about herself,
14:42so I picked her up to make her feel like she was cute.
14:44I then walked her in, gave her a spin and said,
14:46look how amazing your wife looks.
14:50It was more the comment of like,
14:52look at how good her breasts look.
14:54She wore this top for you.
14:55I was literally saying directly to her,
14:56look at those boobs, look at those boobs.
14:58When you hear like, look at your wife,
15:00you automatically assume, oh, she's directed at me.
15:02I can't be held accountable for your assumption.
15:05I'm not having it sold it.
15:07I was trying to come to a new relationship.
15:08I'm not, couldn't give a flying fuck if I'm completely
15:10I'm here for my relationship.
15:11I was being supported the same way I would support absolutely anyone.
15:15That's who I am.
15:16I am a cheerleader.
15:17I'm a positive person.
15:18It's what I do.
15:19And if you've assumed on that, that's on you.
15:21I am a cheerleader.
15:34I'm a positive person.
15:35It's what I do.
15:36And if you've assumed on that, that's on you.
15:38When people were saying, no, you've got to say these things.
15:43I was like, but I've said it to her when I walked in.
15:48It actually had nothing to do with you whatsoever.
15:50I came in and gave you an opportunity to compliment her
15:53because I had spent the time outside with her saying,
15:55maybe you just need an opportunity.
15:56I was literally playing devil's advocate,
15:58having your side and having your back.
16:01No one knows the conversation we have back at home.
16:03God, just stay out of my business.
16:08If Nelly comes to me again and says, I feel shit about myself.
16:10I don't feel very cute.
16:11I'm going to bigger up again and do exactly the same thing.
16:15The same as I would for anyone in this fucking room,
16:18because that's what you do when someone feels low about themselves.
16:22Then that's never going to change, I'm afraid.
16:26I think everyone needs to put effort into a relationship,
16:28Stephen included.
16:29If there are aspects of his relationship that he doesn't want discussed,
16:32that's the conversation between him and his wife, not me.
16:38I'm feeling pretty pissed off.
16:40So I just ended up just walking away.
16:42My relationship is my relationship
16:44and I don't like people getting involved in business
16:46they shouldn't get involved in.
16:48So stupid.
16:50I thought someone was actually at the door, but it looks like we've got an envelope.
17:05Star.
17:06Oh my God.
17:07Oh my God, our first golden envelope.
17:09Today marks the start of experts week.
17:12I think we've won the lottery, kid.
17:14I can't pick it up with my nails.
17:18We've devised a series of exercises to help the couples navigate these early stages of married life.
17:24I feel stressed.
17:26Some couples could find these exercises challenging or confronting,
17:30but this is a vital part of the process to allow them to develop deeper levels of emotional connection.
17:36There is no one-size-fits-all remedy for any relationship.
17:41So each of us have drawn on our own specific areas of expertise and devised activities.
17:47Tailored specifically to you as a couple to help you navigate the challenges you face.
17:52There were some big words in that one.
17:53Why wouldn't there?
17:55Dear Grace and Ashley, you are requested to attend a fun workshop.
18:01Nice.
18:02I know that intimacy and affection has been an issue for your marriage,
18:05and this is something I'd like to help you work on.
18:08Lots of love, Charlene.
18:09Charlene, here we come.
18:11Come on, Charlene.
18:13We have left something outside for you.
18:15Oh no.
18:16Will I go get it?
18:17Yeah, go, go, go, go.
18:20Oh.
18:21Oh God.
18:23I'm already impressed.
18:24You're joking.
18:27No, it's a little robe.
18:29I mean, that's cool for me.
18:33I might do one leg, we'll see.
18:36We'll see how it goes.
18:37Dean and I get on great, but the main thing really missing is the intimacy.
18:42We've obviously not kissed, you know, being intimate with each other or anything like that.
18:45So yeah, I think, you know, it's quite scary because you don't really know sort of what's going to happen and things,
18:52but I know it's what our manage needs.
18:54So I'm really willing to work at it.
18:56Oh, excited.
18:57Yeah, to touch.
19:01It's exciting, right?
19:02It's a big moment, I guess, in our relationship.
19:04It's the next stage.
19:05So yeah, I'm hoping it's the start of the touching and not the end of the touching.
19:08I'm hoping it's the beginning.
19:09Bring it on.
19:10Let's do it.
19:11Let's do it.
19:12Let's do it.
19:14I can't wait.
19:15Yep, me too.
19:16I wouldn't like to think what's in store for this workshop.
19:19I hope it's not a massage.
19:21We've already done that on the honeymoon.
19:23Are you okay with it?
19:24On their honeymoon, Grace's struggles with physical touch were brought to the surface
19:29during what should have been a romantic massage from Ashley.
19:32Hey, is that enough now?
19:36Do it for me.
19:37I will do it for you.
19:38You do so much for me.
19:39I am totally willing to do this for you.
19:45Would you like a hand?
19:46Because you're actually stressing me out.
19:50Me and Leah are trying to build a romantic connection at the minute.
19:53It's just sort of more of a friendship thing.
19:55So I feel like it's definitely come at a good time for us to see if we can initiate a bit of a spark.
20:02Ah!
20:03Look who it is!
20:04Hey!
20:05Hello!
20:06It's important for our couples to understand that intimacy isn't just about sex.
20:13There are many different ways in which a physical connection can develop.
20:17With that in mind, I've set some of the couples' tasks to inspire trust and understanding between them.
20:25Welcome to my workshop.
20:27I'm sure you're very excited to see me.
20:31Let's talk about intimacy because one thing that I realise is that as soon as I say the word intimacy,
20:35everyone gets a little bit nervous.
20:39But intimacy should be fun.
20:41The key is to explore and that's what I want you to do today.
20:45I don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable doing.
20:48So blindfold your partner.
20:49Not too tight.
20:50Okay, okay.
20:51Can you see?
20:52No.
20:53Is that too tight?
20:54No, even a bit tighter probably.
20:55Yeah, perfect.
20:56Next to you, what you'll see is some massage oil.
21:00My heart drops a little bit at the thought of massage.
21:01It's always going to be something that I find really, like, uncomfortable.
21:03Okay, do you want me to go with a tecleral?
21:04No, that's good.
21:06Feel free to make sounds if you want to, if it feels good.
21:08Oh, make some sounds, Leah. Make it better then. Okay.
21:09How's that?
21:10Yeah, that's nice.
21:11Good.
21:13I've waited a long time for this. It's been worth the wait though as well.
21:16It's so nice to kind of share that moment.
21:17And I think this is a step in the right direction from what we're missing really.
21:18More oil.
21:19Oh, yeah, go on.
21:20Ooh.
21:21That's nice.
21:22That's nice.
21:23I want to be Dean's biggest cheerleader.
21:24I want, for things like this, I want to be Dean's biggest cheerleader.
21:27I want, for things like this, I want to be Dean's biggest cheerleader.
21:30I want to be Dean's biggest cheerleader.
21:32But, um, it's a little bit funny, isn't it?
21:33Like...
21:34You're really good at it.
21:36Soft hands.
21:37We're giving it a go.
21:38We're giving it a go.
21:39We're giving it a go.
21:40We're giving it a go.
21:41Grace, how does that feel?
21:42I've never been one for massages myself.
21:44I'm just going to be the best cheerleader.
21:46I'm just going to be the best cheerleader.
21:47Yeah, go on.
21:48Ooh.
21:49That's nice.
21:50I want to be Dean's biggest cheerleader.
21:51I want, for things to start going in the right direction.
21:52But, um, it was a little bit funny, isn't it?
21:53Like...
21:54You're really good at it.
21:56Soft hands.
21:57We're giving it a go.
21:58We're giving it a go.
21:59We're giving it a go.
22:05Grace, how does that feel?
22:07I've never been one for massages myself.
22:10I'm trying to focus on the fact that it's a good massage.
22:13Like, Ash is a good masseuse.
22:15Okay.
22:16Mm-hmm.
22:17I'm feeling a bit stressed.
22:19It's not me.
22:20It's not my kind of thing.
22:21It's beyond my comfort zone.
22:23My comfort zone was, like, 120 miles back.
22:26You're doing amazing.
22:28But Ash, this is important to him, so...
22:31I'm trying to have an open mind.
22:34So, the partners that are massaging,
22:36I'm sensing that you're really enjoying this.
22:39Is it showing that much?
22:40LAUGHTER
22:42You can see a massive difference from the honeymoon.
22:45Even though she's feeling a bit uncomfortable,
22:47she's staying there and she's working at it.
22:49Do you want to swap?
22:50Yeah, we could swap.
22:51Swap? Good.
22:52Especially with Grace, where feelings are starting to build.
22:56Like, she's really sort of throwing herself into this,
22:58and, yeah, nice to see, to be honest.
23:01Do I have permission to remove your robe?
23:03I know.
23:04I'm really proud of her.
23:05I'm...I'm chuffed.
23:06LAUGHTER
23:07Is that OK?
23:08Yeah.
23:09Perfect.
23:10Ooh!
23:11Ooh!
23:12Ooh!
23:13Nice.
23:14It's good.
23:15It's good.
23:16It's good.
23:17It's good.
23:18It's good.
23:19Nice to touch you.
23:20I really enjoyed getting a bit more touchy.
23:24I don't know...
23:25Yeah.
23:26Yeah.
23:27And I think all it can do is just make us stronger.
23:31Initially, I was slightly nervous,
23:33but actually, Dean is doing well at giving the massage.
23:36I'm getting rid of some of that tension.
23:38He's made me feel super comfortable.
23:41So, yeah, he is doing well.
23:44It's nice.
23:45Is it?
23:46Yeah.
23:47Oh, good.
23:48I think you guys have had quite a lot of fun.
23:51Grace and Ashley, the good thing with the two of you
23:54is that you have a really good connection.
23:56So, although there is this issue around the skin-on-skin touch,
23:59there's a bond that I see between the two of you.
24:02That's key.
24:04Today was important because I did want an opportunity
24:06to show Ash that I am trying as well.
24:08He has made a huge amount of effort
24:10and he does deserve someone who's going to put as much in as he does.
24:14Well done, guys.
24:15Now, I think you're absolutely ready for stage two.
24:20Let's take it up a notch.
24:22Oh!
24:26Where is Charlene going?
24:28No way!
24:29What's going to be inside this room?
24:31What is behind this?
24:34What is going on?
24:36Charlene?
24:37Charlene?
24:38Where are we going?
24:39There's no words.
24:40Here we go.
24:41Here we go.
24:42Oh, my God.
24:45Wow!
24:46I wasn't expecting that.
24:47Oh, my God!
24:48Holy shit!
24:49OK.
24:50Ooh, strawberries.
24:51There is a table full of sex toys here.
24:52We've got handcuffs, we've got dildos, we've got butt plugs, we've got God knows what.
24:57Does Charlene just carry these around in her bag every day?
25:01Welcome to my table of treats.
25:02You now have an array of lots of different tools that you can have lots of fun with.
25:07You may look at some of these things and think, well, that's not for me.
25:08Yep.
25:09But you may look at some of these things and think, actually, I wouldn't mind trying that.
25:17treats you now have an array of lots of different tools that you have lots of fun with you may look
25:24at some of these things and think whoa that's not for me yep but you may look at some of these
25:31things and think actually i wouldn't mind trying that i hope you know what the key is for that
25:40but yeah go okay you could go harder oh really yeah yeah oh oh harder yeah i'm just gonna stay seated
26:01that happens to everyone i swear i didn't mean to do that i swear
26:06it all went a bit tits up didn't it can't even think about it
26:15just had cream all over my face and a strawberry shoved into my mouth not feeling very sexy and
26:21sensual right now do you want another one i'm fine thank you up your mouth oh ashley
26:28that's what i wanted but that's not what i got
26:35the next activity is fill in the blanks partner a will read out the card and partner b will answer
26:44the question right now i'm feeling intrigue oh i love it when you are cuddly and tactile
27:00hmm that's nice it's because she doesn't say a lot of nice things no often i mean often
27:07and not often i don't agree but okay
27:15it's a little bit uncomfortable that lee has just said this in front of a group of people
27:21i do feel like i have put a lot of effort in and there's just like running theme with
27:25you at the moment where you will sort of act as if i'm not doing anything at all
27:30no i'm not i'm just saying it's nice to hear it when you say it because you don't say it often that's all
27:38it's a little bit deflating i'm trying to be nice and trying to make the effort and
27:43it doesn't always feel like it's received in the best way she likes what i'm saying
27:47but there's always a but yeah it just gets a bit draining
27:52i will do that more but i also would appreciate if when i do do it you don't make a backhanded
27:56comment because that makes me not want to do it again okay
28:02intimacy workshop isn't going the best for me i'll be honest
28:08now because we absolutely love you all we would like you to choose anything on the table that you
28:14might want to go home with and have a bit of fun with i promise i won't look thank you thank you
28:18bye thank you how are you guys what are we grabbing today was amazing for grace and i
28:25behind closed doors she's cuddly and affectionate so it was really nice to be around people and for
28:31her to still be okay with it it's a huge step for us i feel huge i did it for you oh well done guys
28:40let's do that you basically burn it melts and then you massage so the intimacy workshop i suppose it
28:47felt a little bit tense but lee picked up the candle so i think i'm getting a full body massage
28:53in for a treat if that's not dibs yeah she's a lingerie girl yeah there's been a lot of pressure
29:00in not having that interview with sarah that's been building up and building up and today's
29:03helped kind of deflate that and make it fun so it's keeping that going now on our own and then
29:08hopefully progressing to loving nice relationship this could not have come at a better time for dean and i
29:16so many things are there the main thing that is lacking is the intimacy side of things
29:20i still do want to take it slow but i think it has been just what we've needed
29:31i values ranking that's gonna be fun oh dear we'll see how it goes struggling to see eye to eye
29:39since their honeymoon julia ruth and davani's task is to both rank nine different values chosen by the
29:45experts in their order of importance davani and i haven't spoken about values before i hope that we
29:52get a better understanding of each other as a couple and that we can understand as well why we're both here
29:58and what we're here for no peeking i know what my core values are and hopefully they do align with julia
30:07ruth's here we go this is my list at number one i'd say humor if someone can make make me laugh and
30:18that i feel like that makes them like so outrageously attractive you just want to be around that person
30:23mm-hmm and then sex and looks is important to me okay so this is my name
30:35davani's put sex and looks at the bottom of his list
30:42so i've got a lot of questions to ask
30:44sex is quite low down mm-hmm um yeah do you want to explain that like you're like why you've put it
30:56at eight i want to know the person before anything else and that's why i put it at the bottom not
31:02because it's the the least but it is out of this list that is the least it's the second least
31:07so someone's ambition to you is more important than sex
31:14yeah um okay because all of this will connect a person and then this is composites everything else
31:23money before sex yeah
31:29for him it's looks and sex is the last thing on a man's mind
31:33on a man's mind looks and sex was the last thing on a man's mind
31:39come on
31:41okay
31:44your sex was four my sex was eight sex and looks is important to me
31:49it's a struggle for me because that is not important to you at all
31:54it's a little bit uh yeah it's a little bit worrying
31:57apparently it's not enough
32:05doesn't care it's one of the less so
32:10do you know what's really interesting i almost put looks at one so we literally would have had to
32:14pull opposites but it does shed a light on things it's definitely interesting to see
32:20i don't know where this leaves me and davati just in terms of progressing forward
32:24it's day one of hitting the reset button it was meant to be a fresh start it was meant to be fun and
32:29banter but um
32:31um
32:32they're quite opposite
32:37opposites attract
32:38i never want to see that picture in my life i look about 50 as well no comment yeah no comment
32:55go on then go hit me with it dear rebecca and bailey you seem content in the present
33:01so we're gonna ask you to delve into your past by opening your x files we want you to explore
33:07the lessons you've learned and how you can bring them to bear on your current relationship
33:11lots of love mel paul and charlie let's get into it x files then yeah i'm sure it'll be fine
33:16as long as my ex isn't going to walk in through the door or your ex you ready yeah have you ever
33:22broken someone's heart and how do you feel about that now uh yeah
33:27yeah so with my long-term ex we um had built a life together built literally built a house together
33:40you all right yeah all right he proposed and i thought god like i'm gonna have to make a decision
33:49either like marry him or like being more true to this like weird niggly feeling that i had
33:58it broke his heart like i feel selfish that like i decided to like take that away from him then
34:06yeah and i know it broke his heart he told me i did so um yeah i didn't want to like i didn't i
34:17wouldn't want to make anyone that sad but i also felt like i had to be true to myself also true for him
34:23it's such a double-edged sword to see a bit get emotional because it is hard don't want to see
34:29someone upset and but then also that vulnerability is somewhat a nice feeling it's like part and parcel
34:34with kind of falling for someone and starting to like someone more so yeah i'm relishing it
34:37yeah good answer you all right yeah cool yes happy give me a hug then come here i find it hard
34:44sometimes to open up to people but being with bailey does make me feel like
34:50it's safe i haven't felt that for a while and it's a really nice feeling
35:05ready okay teddy go yeah to help strengthen their emotional connections anita and paul
35:12and david and kia have been given the ask me anything task it's what we wanted we're letting
35:17go we're gonna smash it yeah we will i like this this is things to do is what we're here for right
35:23is to work on ourselves is to make sure that we get to know each other deeper ready let's do this
35:30right now i have no nerves i have my men where do you think you've gone wrong in your previous
35:37relationship um many ways um okay i lose aspects of myself in my marriage i changed and edited myself
35:50and turned into something i wasn't and became very vacuous
35:58um
36:02i guess until this point i've never really gone into a relationship as myself so
36:06i guess i haven't given anyone a fair opportunity to actually
36:11date me or be in a relationship with me because i just have a different edited or amended version that
36:17i think they're going to like i guess most of the star versions of me are pretty shitty people so
36:24yeah i wouldn't want to have dated me either they're in the past they are indeed
36:30you know i don't judge for anything of the past you're good as you are i've never met anyone that
36:39is more themselves than you are thank you it's okay the more time i spend with david the more i'm
36:47growing and developing because of how considerate and caring he is i like this this is nice this is lovely
36:53yeah kia tell me three things you change about i wish your job didn't involve you having to go away
37:02for long periods of time okay when you get in your head and overthink things most of the time it's a
37:10non-problem it's a non-issue i can work on that we can try and do it together um and the third thing i would
37:16change is your perspective on your body image because i think you're absolutely goddamn sexy as
37:24hell and wish you could see yourself the way that i see you speak being open with my body makes me a
37:34little bit anxious but slowly slowly i'm getting more confident i think it is it's lovely to see how
37:41he sees me he makes me feel wanted he makes me feel worried about myself it's been a while since
37:47someone made me feel like that it's just nice it's kind of the perfect task this week for us isn't it
38:03that's what i've been banging on about all week at the end of the day i don't know hi
38:07depending on his questions they'll depend where that actually leaves us did you find that hard
38:16no all right because i've not really asked you much as you've pointed out a few times
38:24i am a little bit sweaty palms i think it's important for me to see some improvement so fingers
38:31crossed again will you give the marriage enough time so i can love you for you how long's a piece
38:44of strength time i'm not in a hurry i just it's more a case of i need to know where this relationship's
38:53going what's on your mind what you want out of it whether you're fully committed are you expecting me
39:00to be fully committed after two weeks well the clue's in the title isn't it married at first sight
39:07surely you're wanting to commit aren't you i think you can be committed to the process
39:14to going down that road of building a relationship building trust building respect i think you are
39:19expecting me to be further ahead now you've said it takes you time it could be six years before you
39:26get a spark that's the doubt that's set in my mind now how long does it actually take you i just
39:33haven't got that time love is something you build my time frame may be different from her time frame
39:42and that's going to be the sticking point i need to know what you're thinking surely you should know what
39:47you want by now i don't know if paul understands i haven't got time to waste i was in my previous
39:53relationship for 17 years and didn't get the outcome i wanted so i need to know where i stand i've just
40:01wasted 17 years and i don't want to waste time surely we should want the same outcome he's 60 i'm nearly 55
40:08no i'm not hanging around
40:24what we're gonna have dinner tonight pasta lots of cheese lots of cheese maven joe's exercise for
40:30this week involves a visit from one of the experts at the commitment ceremony mave voiced her insecurities
40:37within the marriage and herself oh i knew that could be as joe was absent i'm visiting him and mave
40:47at their home to offer further one-on-one expertise yes hi are you all right i'm so happy to see paul
40:57honestly like his home's my home do you know what i mean no my home's his home is that what you say
41:03well anyway i'm not i'll just take your shoes off and get comfy where i would love to begin is the
41:09commitment ceremony yeah joe i believe you missed a very important moment it was profound
41:17at yesterday's commitment ceremony mave faced the couch alone while joe was ill i think he is really
41:23attractive and i thought like he's not going to find me attractive whatsoever i i think he's too good for
41:28me i mean it's quite heartbreaking to hear you say that well he is you need to love on yourself more
41:36this is more important than your relationship with joe yeah you recall a little bit of the
41:43conversation that we had oh god joe compliments me all the time like i couldn't have anyone nicer
41:49to say nice things about us but i don't believe what he's saying at what point in your life did you
41:56begin doubting yourself probably when i was with me ex he used to talk about my appearance just
42:04negative shit all the time okay if someone says it enough to you you start believing it you know what
42:10i mean yes how do we take that narrative and switch it to positive may what i would love for us to do
42:17is teach you how to receive a compliment taking compliments sounds like a very easy thing to do
42:28but it's not i really struggle to take stuff on board all right this is going to be great
42:36so joe is going to give compliments and when he gives you that compliment i want you to look
42:41in the mirror repeat the compliment and you're going to say i receive this
42:51i believe this and thank you for seeing me this way okay so hit us joe i love how
42:59you give everyone your energy and everyone just loves you as a person
43:03that was cute what do i look at myself and say that yes just do it i'm trying to go on i feel like
43:14i got to save it this is hard isn't it yeah why is it hard because i can't take it in okay i actually
43:24can't i can hear him i'm listening but it doesn't go like it's literally in one ear around and out the
43:29other exactly because you've taught yourself to just not believe it and i also notice that you have
43:35a hard time keeping eye contact with yourself in the mirror why do you think you're having a hard
43:39time looking at yourself in the mirror i don't really enjoy looking at myself in the mirror why i
43:47don't know i just don't feel confident in myself that's why this is important yeah so we're going to
43:53do that round again but you have to look at yourself in the mirror the entire time joe i love
44:01how you have my back in any situation that is so true it's so true it's actually really true yeah
44:09i believe that one so you believe that's what i mean but do you yeah because i do have your back
44:14say it in the mirror then joe loves the fact that i have his back in every situation
44:19i receive this i believe this i actually do though like i know i'm struggling but i feel like
44:26it is starting to make me believe him this exercise actually makes me feel a little bit better about
44:31myself it's melting my heart you can always tell if an intervention has worked well because the couple
44:39is closer when you come back together and look at it maybe it's in your lap right now yeah
44:44maybe you have this story going on in your mind that you are not good enough and the more you take
44:51in these compliments what's going to happen to that negative script in your mind it's not going to be
44:56negative anymore it's going to be positive it's going to be positive when you can connect at your
45:00true self that's true love yeah and that's what we're trying to get to i'm very grateful for paul yeah
45:09we're going to work on it and actually do the task going forward so hopefully it'll improve we are
45:16making baby steps yeah but moving in the right direction hundred percent well then on that note
45:21i'm gone thank you for coming yeah 100 this is the beginning of a new wave i actually want to
45:28believe what joe's saying honestly i think he's amazing and i don't want him not in my life i know what is
45:34the matter with me oh god this place makes you go crazy
45:50come on guys to mark the end of experts week some of the group head out to compare notes
45:55i am so excited to find out what everyone else has done what everyone's tasks have been for expert week
46:02it's a special day if steven's getting around isn't it first little day out cheers lads cheers
46:08been loving my time with bett but also exciting to see the lads and have a bit of a debrief
46:14we did a workshop with charlene she had us like a secret door into this like sex dungeon
46:20wait wait where is it where is it yeah could i have a go
46:27i'm jealous that you've got to do the workshop i want to do it it was really good yeah it was good
46:31so like i'm not gonna lie i was a little bit nervous i mean you just i just you don't know
46:36what you're kind of expecting do you feel like it's grown you closer to him in like a different
46:40way i think it's still too early to tell dean and i obviously we haven't had really any form
46:46of intimacy at all but obviously there are different forms of it there's different levels
46:50of it we are still taking baby steps yeah it was good i think it was what we needed i said to him
46:55after the commitment ceremony he's constantly got you on this pedestal and that's something he said he
46:59wouldn't do i was like you know you also need to be there for you too i think that commitment
47:06ceremony kicked up the ass a little bit you know maybe it's made her realize a little bit more how
47:10good dean is she needs to be open and vulnerable to him like she's been matching for a reason
47:17where are you and lee now yeah we haven't like we had to have the best night how did you not
47:23no like lee thought i'd come up to you in a bar and was like hey rebecca i fancy you but it's not
47:31in that way at all i think you'd said like rebecca's more my type gym girl darker and also like i said you
47:40feel like home to me because you're my friends are like you and it was just something that was latched
47:46onto but there was literally nothing in it that made her realize definitely that okay maybe i do
47:52like a little bit more but she still won't admit that i can't understand why lee would feel negative
47:59feelings towards it because if somebody in the group is pointing it out as being more your wife's type
48:05then there's going to be some sort of feelings but there's just nothing to worry about with with me and
48:09leah all right then steve the other one holds your cards close to your chest what about you obviously
48:16for me look i'd never like to show vulnerability because it makes me look weak and when i've done
48:21that in the past then people take the piss so i've decided to slow down on the intimacy side of
48:26things like the less hugging the kissing which sounds bad but why have you why have you kind of made
48:30that she's like she's three steps ahead of me because she's opened up and i haven't it might
48:35get in her head a little bit if she sees you going backwards a bit i think if you are doing that
48:39you've got to be super clear that's why you are doing that i don't like needness i like it's good
48:44to feel wanted right of course it is like everyone wants to feel wanted but just let me breathe i need
48:48my time apart i don't think she's like super needy but then also if you are you're you're saying
48:54yourself you're more on the closed side yeah that might bring a little bit of that out she really likes
48:59you and i've talked with her a lot and you know that steven is overthinking it he's definitely
49:05overthinking it he's being way too logical about this um just let go it's the only way it's gonna
49:10work if you say let's go so steven came to see you didn't he i think he just needed to kind of vent
49:21and go through what happened in the evening he just kind of needed to say it out loud to us i had told
49:27him like time time again that they're not trying to do it to wind you up no one's aim is to wind you
49:32up no their aim is to pick me up because you could see that i wasn't myself much better to do it over
49:37one yeah no and used to a good now that's all squashed yeah i'm just obviously it's still hard i
49:43think he still has pulled back but now i'm like well cool sweet you pull back if that's what you want
49:48to do i'm going to do me if you want me then great if he doesn't his last yes it is yeah
49:57i don't really know where i stand i just need a bit of consistency it's really hard sometimes if
50:02the steven i've got now is slightly more reserved than the steven i met on the honeymoon
50:07usually i would be like okay cool i'm tapping out i'm not going to put myself through this
50:12so if you don't want all of me to see you later mate you can get fucked
50:20next time on a scale of one to ten how strong are your feelings the second dinner party serves up
50:27romantic confessions from sam 9.5
50:33do you have any regrets so far while others face harsher truths
50:38yes i feel like i'm constantly calling you out for things i'm trying to be nice and then they're
50:43back firing on you i'm at the point of my life now i need to know you want the same thing i haven't
50:49got time to waste but it's gossip in the group he fucked a girl like two weeks before he came
50:54here that sparks the biggest conflict of the night who has decided to say i was talking about my sexual
51:02activity you did we were all there people starting to me off
51:07you're a fucking cunt wow did he just say that
51:19like you're doing it
51:20i'm going to be right back to my life now i'm going to be right back to my life now
51:22so
51:27so
51:33you
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