- 5 months ago
The story of Kojo Odo, a 42-year-old single black man who opened his home to 21 children with physical or mental handicaps.
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00:29mm
00:35Oh
00:37oh
00:41oh
00:46oh
00:49oh
00:56Whoa
00:58Whoa
01:06Whoa
01:08Whoa
01:10Oh
01:12Oh
01:14Yeah
01:16Yeah
01:18Whoa
01:22Whoa
01:24Whoa
01:26Whoa
01:32Whoa
01:34Ooh
01:36Ooh
01:38Ooh
01:40Ooh
01:42Ooh
01:44Ooh
01:50Hi, Daddy
01:52Hi, Daddy
01:54Hi, Daddy
01:56Hi, Daddy
01:58Hi, Daddy
02:00Hi, Daddy
02:02Hi, Daddy
02:04Hi, Daddy
02:06Did you do that to me?
02:08No
02:10Hi, Daddy
02:12Hi, Daddy
02:14Hi, Daddy
02:16Hey, dirty face
02:18Take my bag and put it on the bed for you
02:20Me, I got it, me
02:22I got it, I got it
02:24Who you want, Daddy?
02:26Who you want?
02:28Kalua has it
02:30Okay, Kalua here
02:32Run upstairs and get ready to go have family meeting
02:34Okay
02:36Upstairs, bye-bye
02:38Cut
02:40The family meeting tonight is being called to discuss the making of a film
02:46And I know it's going to be a little bit difficult for you to think about
02:50Because a lot is happening around us
02:54There's the cameras and there are the people that you don't know
02:58And all of the activity that we haven't had to deal with before
03:02But I want you to keep your mind on what we're talking about
03:06Because this is a big decision
03:08This is a decision that is not only going to deal with us today
03:12But tomorrow
03:14And many, many years in the future
03:16Okay
03:18Now I'm going to talk about why I think we should do it
03:22We need to do it because
03:24There are hundreds of thousands of kids
03:28Who are in foster homes and group homes and institutions
03:32Who don't have families
03:36Who may never have families
03:38Unless people are encouraged
03:40And educated
03:42And begin to understand
03:44The need for homes
03:46The need for families
03:48The need for children to have a place
03:50When you all came to me
03:52I don't think there was one of you
03:54Who believed that I loved you
03:58Or that I was going to keep you
04:00Because there had been so many people
04:02Who hadn't done it
04:04Who hadn't done it
04:06Who hadn't been able to make that kind of a commitment
04:10I think it's important for you all to think about
04:14What you've gone through over the years
04:16And whether you feel that it's important
04:20Now for other children who were in situations like yours
04:24To have an opportunity for a family also
04:28Now some of the reasons that I think you should not do it
04:32It's going to be painful in many cases
04:36For you to talk about some of the things that happened to you
04:42Remembering things is not always easy
04:46And you don't always want to do it
04:48And you've got to think about how you're going to feel
04:52About your friends hearing some of the things you say in the film
04:56Sharing some of the things that you're going to share in the film
05:00If you decide to make it
05:02People are going to see it
05:04You know, all over New York
05:06A lot of your friends may see it
05:08Now that means that it's not just for today
05:14This is not Hollywood
05:16You know
05:18It's not all being a movie star
05:20And being on TV
05:22And a lot of fantasy
05:24A lot of dreams
05:26And a lot of play
05:28It's very real
05:30I'd like you to tell me
05:32How you feel about what I've said
05:36How you feel about the possibility of making a film
05:40Do you want to or don't you?
05:42Want to
05:44And can you let some?
05:46Why I don't want to make the show
05:48Is because when people see it
05:52Like one of my friends might come up to me and say
05:56How do you get all them kids?
05:58How did your father get all them kids?
06:00Where's your mother?
06:01I don't want you to say anything
06:07Cabela
06:09The reason I think
06:11To be a movie star is famous
06:15To be a movie star is famous
06:19Conan, you didn't want to do it before
06:21I'm not
06:23I'm still not too interested in it
06:25Of course
06:27I don't like to be embarrassed
06:29And when
06:31If you do make the film or movie
06:35And people see it
06:37They're going to be going up to me
06:39Maybe making fun of me and stuff
06:41Saying that I was adopted and stuff
06:43And maybe
06:45Get to the point and say
06:47Well look if we got a home and stuff
06:49We got a real mother and father
06:51At least we don't
06:53At least we didn't have to go into foster care or anything
06:55Institution
06:57And live in a father that we hardly even know
06:59Anybody want to respond to that?
07:05Anybody want to say how they feel about what Conan said?
07:09Does anyone agree with him?
07:11Disagree with him?
07:13You agree
07:15Quajo, how do you feel about what Conan said?
07:17I don't feel good
07:19Cause like today in school
07:21This girl asked me
07:23Was Quajo my brother?
07:25I said yeah right
07:27She said he's your real brother
07:29And I said yeah
07:31And like the girl had said
07:33Did he come from your mother?
07:35And I kept saying yeah
07:37I tried to get all of them
07:38Then she said
07:39I know you all adopted
07:41And you felt bad about it?
07:43Yeah and I didn't say nothing
07:45You know
07:47When I began to adopt
07:49And I first got Quajo
07:53I had a lot of trouble
07:57Deciding
07:59How was I going to deal with people?
08:03Was I going to tell them that Quajo was adopted?
08:06Was I going to tell them that Quajo was my son?
08:10And I decided
08:12That there wasn't any difference
08:15That you all
08:17Were as much mine
08:19As anybody in this world could ever be
08:24And times have been hard
08:27We've had a lot of rough times
08:30But we've made it work
08:33Is there anyone else
08:34That wants to express themselves?
08:36Quajo
08:37If it wasn't for you
08:39You would still be in institutions
08:43And uh
08:45That's all I can say
08:47That's all I can say
08:49Muata?
08:50You're the only father I have
08:52And I don't care about what people think outside
08:56You know
08:57If they ask questions
08:58You are my father
08:59This is my family
09:01There's no other family than I have
09:03Um
09:05Even though you didn't give a lot of us birth
09:08You gave us life
09:10Who are you?
09:11Someone else?
09:12Yeah
09:13What do you want to say, Quajo?
09:17Uh
09:20You don't know
09:21Kundwani?
09:23When I be going to school
09:25They be asking
09:26How many brothers I got
09:28And I say
09:29Five brothers and five sisters
09:31Why?
09:32Because I don't want to tell them
09:34How much we all had
09:35All together we had
09:37Why?
09:38Cause
09:39Cause
09:40Then they be spreading all around the world
09:42And then they be saying
09:43How many you get all these?
09:44How many this?
09:45How many that?
09:46And they be at this
09:47You
09:48You must have been adopted
09:50Like that
09:51Someone else?
09:52Kanika?
09:53Kalua?
09:54I don't
09:55Kwaku
09:56Well I want the film to be made
09:58To show other people
09:59How
10:00One man
10:01Can adopt
10:02A lot of kids
10:03Why can't they
10:04Try to do it?
10:06To give the other people
10:08In the institution a chance
10:10To feel
10:13Like
10:14Like somebody cares for you
10:17Like you care for all of us
10:21I find this very hard
10:23Because I think I've said before
10:33That
10:35It's not always easy
10:38To do
10:39What you truly believe is right
10:46And
10:47I understand what
10:48Conan said
10:50You know
10:51And
10:53There have been times
10:57When I so desperately wanted to say
11:00Because it would be so much easier to explain
11:05You know
11:06You don't have to explain anything when you say
11:08This is my son
11:10Or this is my daughter
11:13It's easier to do that
11:14It's easier to do that
11:17And
11:19You don't
11:20You don't feel as bad
11:21Because people
11:22People can understand
11:23You know
11:24No matter how many children
11:26You make
11:28With
11:29With a wife
11:31People can somehow seem to deal with that
11:35But we live in a world
11:36In a world
11:38Where
11:40People don't care
11:42A hell of a lot
11:43About each other
11:45Okay
11:46And people find it hard
11:47To understand
11:49Why
11:50Someone would want
11:51All of you
11:56And the only way
11:57The only way
11:58I know of
12:00Of explaining that
12:02Is by showing people
12:05I don't know any other way
12:08You know
12:19I love you
12:20And I care about you
12:23And I care about you
12:27But I love all those other kids out there too
12:30And I can't take them all
12:34And so
12:35I feel
12:37Like
12:38I've got to share
12:40A little bit of me
12:43And a little bit of you
12:46And I have to deal with some pain
12:48And hopefully
12:50I can help you deal with some pain
12:53In order to make it work
12:55In order to show people
12:59Kojo
13:01I feel that it's nice to have
13:03Brothers and sisters like them
13:05Cause
13:07As Connie was talking about
13:08The people outside would think, right?
13:10Well I would think that you would have to get over that
13:12And you would have to show them that
13:14That your father is really taking care of you
13:16And that you don't care what anybody else is
13:18And they would look at the block you would live in
13:21The best Harlem
13:23I mean the best block in Harlem
13:25And show that your father, you know, he really tried
13:28And when they get older
13:30They're gonna really, when they're in your shoes
13:32They're gonna really know that you tried
13:34Because it's gonna be hard on them
13:36Like it's hard on you now
13:38Have you always felt that way?
13:40Yeah
13:42Okay
13:44I think we've reached a point now
13:46Where it's time to make a decision
13:49About what's been said
13:51You know
13:53You all know
13:55What you feel
13:57And what you feel you can take
13:59I think the thing is
14:01To remember
14:03Is that no matter what happens
14:05Whether a film is made
14:07Or a film is not made
14:09We're still a family
14:11You know
14:13We are still a family
14:15And we're gonna make it
14:16And we're gonna make it
14:18Can I have a show of hands of those people
14:22Who would like to go ahead and make the film?
14:31And a show of hands of those who don't want to make the film
14:36Nothing
14:37Okay
14:41All I will ask of you is this
14:44That just as
14:47We go on family trips together
14:50And sometimes you all don't want to go on the trip
14:53One or two of you say
14:54Well I don't want to go on the trip
14:55I don't want to do this particular thing that the family's going to do
14:59We do it together because we're a family
15:01And I'm gonna ask
15:03That we do this together
15:04Because the majority of the people have decided
15:07That they want to make the movie
15:09That does not mean
15:11That you have to
15:13As Cabello said
15:15Be a star
15:17Okay?
15:18It only means
15:19That you participate in the film
15:22As much as you can
15:24As an individual
15:26Okay?
15:27We can only do
15:29What we as individuals can do
15:32And we can only do our best
15:34What you doin up?
15:48What you doin up?
15:49Huh?
15:50Up in the middle
15:53Why don't you get these dirty clothes downstairs?
15:55What you doin' up?
15:57Huh?
15:58I'm good now.
16:00Why don't you get these dirty clothes downstairs?
16:04Okay, Marta.
16:06Wake up, sleepyhead.
16:08Where you at?
16:10Good, God. You got all the clothes in the world in your bed.
16:14Get up. We're going to school this morning.
16:18Time to get up.
16:20Yes, you are.
16:22Time to get out of the bed.
16:27You girls, hurry up and get your teeth cleaned.
16:31That's right, get up.
16:35Daddy!
16:37What?
16:38Ain't no salt in here.
16:40I'm gonna wash coffee.
16:42Will you put a coffee?
16:44Slow down.
16:46There might be a quarter bath. Coffee baths.
16:52No salt in here.
16:54Quayera?
16:55Ma?
16:56You have to go with me to work this morning.
16:58All right.
16:59Cool.
17:00Yeah.
17:01All right, baby.
17:03Glad you.
17:05Thank you, boy.
17:06You have good dreams.
17:08My children are children who have come through a system of
17:12foster care and have in most cases been bounced from home to home to home.
17:27And because they've been bounced from one foster home to another, they feel as though every move is the first step to another move that's going to come after that.
17:39And the feeling of insecurity that that brings about for them.
17:47And when they enter my door, I can say to them, okay, this is it.
17:52Somehow or other, we're going to struggle through this together.
17:55We're going to make things work.
17:57And this is going to be the last place.
18:00And this is going to be the last place.
18:12Kianga?
18:13You out of the tub yet?
18:17So you got a bus pass again today?
18:19Oh.
18:20Oh.
18:21That's carelessness.
18:22You're leaving it around and then other people have to find it for you.
18:24And that doesn't make any sense.
18:30Come on.
18:31I told you I don't like that conversation.
18:33You see that, sir?
18:38All right, all right, all right.
18:39Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
18:40Hurry up, Isabella.
18:41It's time for your bus.
18:42Take a, have a seat.
18:44Give him back his spoon right now for me.
18:47See?
18:48You're going to slam.
18:49Voila!
18:50Have I told you this?
18:51Let's go!
18:52See you, y'all?
18:54See you later.
18:56Juaniota.
18:59You!
19:00You!
19:01You!
19:08All right, y'all.
19:13Hello, sister.
19:14How are you doing?
19:15Okay.
19:16Okay.
19:17What tables do you do?
19:19Five times.
19:20Five times?
19:21That's good.
19:22Is it hard?
19:23No.
19:24What about spelling?
19:25Spelling is perfect.
19:26And the reading?
19:27Reading.
19:28It's all right.
19:29Oh, you'll have to do better at reading.
19:32You need it.
19:33That's a big tool, you know.
19:35Uh-huh.
19:36Okay?
19:37You want to try?
19:38Yeah.
19:39Okay.
19:40Now, some music, I think.
19:41Okay.
19:42Rock the house, man.
19:43Ready?
19:44One, two, three.
19:55Mr. Aldo came in search of a school
19:58that would suit the needs of his son.
20:02And I think it would be very admirable
20:05he didn't say his adopted son
20:07nor his anything else but his son.
20:10I made a statement at the end of my workshop
20:14that I was presently looking for a child that was blind.
20:19And a worker came up to me after the workshop
20:22and she said to me,
20:23we have a child in our agency that's blind.
20:26He's not within the age range that you said,
20:29but would you be interested?
20:31And I said, yes.
20:32And they told me about Kundwani who was then in an institution
20:38for blind children.
20:40And that's where he was living after having been through
20:43several foster home placements and having gone through
20:47some pretty heavy physical abuse.
20:50And I said, well, that's it.
20:54So I don't like this place.
20:56So I did not stop.
20:58Then I hit the wall.
20:59I was mad though.
21:01So I picked, I took the bed that was in there
21:05and lifted up and tipped it over.
21:07I said, I hate this institution like that.
21:10So I want to leave this place.
21:12Do you remember what story you were reading about?
21:16Penel the pig.
21:18Right.
21:19Can you tell me anything about it?
21:22He was in the hen house, right?
21:25And then when that old lady tripped over,
21:29she called him, you silly hen, get out of my way.
21:33Then she went to pick up some eggs.
21:36Then when she walked out, she bumped it right into the door.
21:40Yeah.
21:41And what did he think she needed?
21:43Eyeglasses.
21:44Okay.
21:45Let's start from the beginning.
21:46Okay.
21:47Penel pig had never seen the world.
21:54And he began to wonder what it was like.
22:03One night as he was sniffing around the farmyard,
22:14he saw a way to get out.
22:20Worst thing I can remember about it was pulling the fire alarm.
22:24I didn't know what it was for, and I just pulled it,
22:27and I got in trouble.
22:29And they said, if I do it again, you're going to leave the institution.
22:33So I did it again.
22:34They didn't take that, and I didn't leave.
22:39It's very possible that some people are not able to cope
22:42with the handicapped of various children, but he is able to do this.
22:46He is able to make them secure, make them understand, and be willing
22:50to put himself out to make a little boy such as Kanwani become a real person.
22:57And to my mind, that's what we are all looking for, a person.
23:00And he is becoming one, slowly but surely.
23:03The first day he met me, I scored him with a water gun,
23:07because I really didn't know what was going on.
23:11And then when I showed him around in school, until the last day he left,
23:16he gave me a kiss.
23:18And then I said, what was that for?
23:22And I asked the lady there, what was that for?
23:25And she said, maybe because he loves you, like that.
23:30And I said, oh.
23:33Oh yeah.
23:48Oh yeah.
23:53Oh yeah.
23:57Oh yeah.
24:02She gave me a picture of this little boy, and I sat there and I looked at it, and I think the only thing that bothered me about the picture at that time was this
24:32teeth were crooked. And I looked at the picture, and I said, hmm. She said, well, what do you think? I said, well, I need to meet him. And she said, but wait a minute, look at the picture again. And I looked at it, and she said, do you see anything different? And it was at that point that I realized that that seven-year-old little boy in the picture only had one arm. And she said, now what do you think? I said, I need to meet him.
24:58And I remember it was a sunny day, but it was very, very cold, kind of windy, the kind of day where the wind cuts through you.
25:08And we were standing there, and we were looking in both directions. I was early. My social worker for once was early. But Kojo and his social worker were late.
25:19And I'm standing there waiting, and my social worker is saying to me, I wonder where they are. They're so late. And I'm looking in both directions, and all of a sudden I said, I see them.
25:30And she said, where? And I said, about a block and a half down. And she said, I don't see them. I said, I'm sure it's them. And she said, why?
25:38I said, because he looks bad. He had on gray high water pants, and he had on a summer suit jacket, and the sleeves were too short, which all amounted to the fact that it was too cold for him to be dressed that way.
26:00And that's why he stood out. In my mind, it was the picture of what books portray as being children who are considered orphans. And I thought to myself, damn, couldn't they do a little bit better than that?
26:30Oh, yeah.
26:52Before, I used to never used to play basketball. I used to always sit on the side. And I was in, um, I remember I was in a, I was in a, um,
27:00public school, PS6, downtown on the east side. I used to never do anything in the gym, but play, probably kickball and stuff. And all the dudes would just play basketball. I used to watch them. And start when I was around 13, I used to go to this center, 135th Street, Kennedy Center. And that's when they started to make me play basketball. They tried to teach me playing basketball.
27:21And I used to, I said, I would make this my sport here. And ever since now, I played basketball. And probably in the summertime, I first moved up here in Harlem, played basketball. And that's when people would know me. They said, oh, you see that boy that played basketball in the park with one arm? And yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself. Let him do that to you.
27:41And when they, when they, when they get on the court, they said, yeah, it's real hard to go out here and stuff like that. And I take advantage of that. And I just started making more friends, make, talking to more girls. And that was about it. Sports and girls.
27:56That's for sure.
27:57I had left home when I was 13.
28:18In fact, I had ran away from home.
28:21My mother and my stepfather really didn't know where I was at first
28:25because they, at that time, was blasted.
28:30When they get blasted, they'd be blasted for two, three weeks at a time.
28:36All right? Great.
28:38Okay.
28:39Alan Heller wants to find out if there's any more room in Aspen.
28:42Is this the young fella?
28:43Yes.
28:43Hiya.
28:44How are you doing?
28:45Mr. Luffy Wager?
28:45Right.
28:47Nice to meet you.
28:47Come on in.
28:48Let me see what you got.
28:50I was sitting in my office, and my boss came in, and she said,
28:54I just received a call from a woman who wants me to help her find a foster home for a child.
29:04And I said, well, I can't think of a home for a child at this point.
29:10How old is he?
29:11And she said, 15.
29:12And I said, oh, no.
29:14That'll never make it.
29:15So she left the office, and I'm sitting there, and I'm saying to myself, a home for a 15-year-old.
29:22Where can you find a foster home for a 15-year-old boy who is out in the streets?
29:28I said, it's impossible.
29:31And could not, for the life of me, forget about it.
29:34So finally, I got up, and I walked into her office, and I said, I will take him as a foster child until I can find a home for him.
29:44And then I remember sitting there at my desk thinking to myself, he'll probably be 6 feet 2 and weigh 250 pounds, and he'll proceed to beat me up every night when I come home from work and rob me.
29:57What am I going to do with this 15-year-old kid that I've never even seen?
30:03Where'd you go to school?
30:04Pratt Institute.
30:05Pratt?
30:05And what was your major there?
30:07Illustration.
30:08For how long?
30:09Four years.
30:10Did you learn anything?
30:12Yeah, I did a lot, in terms of style, technique, concepts.
30:16You want to become an illustrator?
30:18Is that your...
30:18Yeah, that's my main goal.
30:19That's what you have in mind now.
30:20Yes.
30:21This is the poster of Chi-Chi Chang.
30:24Chi-Chi Chang.
30:24I'm talking about that at once.
30:26What is this, an example of how you work in black and white?
30:29Black and white.
30:29I'm talking about how you translate into it.
30:30I'm called.
30:32Okay, it's a nice, very nice book.
30:34Mm-hmm.
30:36But in case of illustration, talent is just the beginning.
30:43I mean, what you have to have more than anything else is willfulness and patience and aggression.
30:50You just got to hang in there because it's very tough to crack the market.
30:56I remember the first time when I confronted my mother about adoption.
31:03There was a lot of tears in her eyes.
31:07And I tried to comfort her.
31:12I tried to hold her hands.
31:14And I, you know, really made her believe that it wasn't her that I was giving up.
31:22You know, it wasn't her.
31:24And I would never give her up.
31:25She's my mother.
31:26I told her deeply that I wanted to get adopted because I love my father, Kojo.
31:34Like, I told her, you know, that even if my name was changed, that the memories, you know, were still there.
31:43And, you know, that there's nothing that can erase those memories, whether they were good or whether they were bad.
31:49And I didn't blame her for anything that she's done.
31:55My father, I don't know if he was tall or short, but the first thing I write about him is that he was me.
32:16He did a lot of beating up on me, sometimes with a paddle hand and stick.
32:28What is that?
32:32I just, they said that my father got shot in the back of his hip from a window, a white man.
32:39And then I started crying.
32:43And when I went downstairs, my mother called the ambulance, and it was too late.
32:47He was already dead.
32:52That's a nice project.
32:54Look at the submarine.
32:57Isn't that nice?
32:58Yeah.
33:00That is pretty.
33:01Come on.
33:03Come on.
33:09This was from the writing assignment we had the other day, right?
33:14KK, if you were an animal, what animal would you be?
33:19A doberman picture.
33:21A doberman?
33:22Aren't those the meanest dogs around?
33:23Mm-hmm.
33:24Well, why would you be a doberman?
33:27Because he is strict.
33:29Because he's strict.
33:30Oh, you like being strict?
33:32No, not all the time.
33:34Not all the time?
33:34Well, what would be something nice and kind that you would do as a doberman?
33:40Protect the house and other things.
33:43I wanted you to describe the doberman for me.
33:45Does anybody know what dogs average height and weight?
33:49Three, three feet.
33:50All right.
33:50That's the height of three feet.
33:51About three feet.
33:53KK, a doberman, mean and fierce.
33:57Do you consider yourself mean and fierce?
34:00Consider myself mean.
34:01What do I mean?
34:02I mean, explain to me how you figure yourself mean.
34:06You like power, right?
34:07Yeah.
34:08I get strong when I beat up on people.
34:11Oh, oh, y'all didn't hear that.
34:13Why would you?
34:14People need fun.
34:16That's fun.
34:17The most fun that people can get is fighting, beating up on people.
34:23What makes you do those things?
34:25I don't know.
34:26Sometimes when I wake up, right, and, you know, play with Kalandria and Kamada, in my head it says, no, no, no.
34:40It starts, keep on saying no, no yeses.
34:43It only says no.
34:44Miss Ford wants to put you out of the school.
34:53She wants to fire me.
34:56Now, you think I'm going to let you keep getting me in trouble?
34:59No.
35:00But just tell me, somebody walks up to you and calls you out of your name.
35:03What are you going to do?
35:04He's big and muscular.
35:05Yeah.
35:06I don't want to do nothing.
35:07What about if he's smaller?
35:08Then I go over there and punch me this month.
35:10Why?
35:11Huh?
35:12Why?
35:13Because he's little and weak.
35:15You like blood, huh?
35:16You like to see blood, huh?
35:18Yeah.
35:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
35:20You know they got a place for people like you, don't they?
35:22I know.
35:23Since you don't think you're going to stop fighting, you're going to keep getting in trouble.
35:27One day you're going to hit somebody, find out that's the president's son.
35:32You know?
35:32And you know they're going to send you to jail, right?
35:34You were at PS 145, and the day of your birthday, you went out and did something.
35:43Do you remember what that was?
35:44I went into a building and, you know, started playing around in there.
35:51And the lady said, better get out.
35:53And so I ran in the hardware store, man, picked me up and put me in the hardware store as a stayhand.
35:59They called the cops on me, so I went to the thing.
36:02I didn't get nothing.
36:04I just looked at her out.
36:06They was practicing shooting.
36:09So they took you around and gave you a tour?
36:11No, they didn't give me nothing.
36:12They didn't give me nothing.
36:13They didn't do nothing.
36:15They just, like, I saw them practice.
36:19I hold it as, uh, handcuffs.
36:23And, you know, he didn't let me touch his gun because he might be afraid that it would go off.
36:28So I didn't touch it.
36:29How did they find out how to contact me?
36:33Because I told her the phone number.
36:36I was stupid to tell him.
36:38Kwaku was 12 years old.
36:45I'd go all the way up to that institution.
36:48And as soon as he saw me, he would run away.
36:52And it was very obvious that he had no intention of being my son.
36:58And didn't want to have anything to do with the whole situation.
37:02You looked at different.
37:04How was I different?
37:06Bangles and earrings and stuff.
37:09My, uh, people in the cottage said you might eat them.
37:13I was a cannibal, huh?
37:14Yeah.
37:15And you believed it, right?
37:17Yep.
37:19Okay.
37:20Is that what you wanted now?
37:22Make sure.
37:26Kwaku's been in my class, uh, in this particular class, uh, for a month now.
37:30Uh, last year I had the opportunity to have him in the math class.
37:33It's difficult for me to say that he is, uh, a handicap, although, uh, a committee on the
37:39handicap has evaluated him as such.
37:43I do observe in him good potential to enter the world of work.
37:47Why do you think you're doing better in school now?
37:53Because I want to make it out, out, out there in the world.
37:58Have a small family.
37:59Probably be like you, have a lot of kids.
38:02That's not a small family.
38:03I know, but I have a steady, steady job.
38:12How, how, and I know this is not easy, okay, but before you said that it was hard for you
38:20to deal with me because I was different, how do you feel about me now?
38:25Well, I love you like a real father.
38:29I love you like a real father.
38:59Uh, the people in from school, I have to be responsible for everybody for getting in
39:04the house safely, because that's my job.
39:08Sometimes I don't feel like doing what my father tell me, but I have to do it.
39:14It's my responsibility.
39:18Hi, Kwaku.
39:19Hello.
39:19Hi, Kwaku.
39:20Hello.
39:23All right.
39:24You got any homework?
39:25No.
39:25Yeah.
39:25Go upstairs and do it.
39:26Come on, y'all.
39:27There's a pig on the bus.
39:56Dan said, Dan set my arm.
40:00Kid and boy.
40:04What's that, Kwaku?
40:04What's that, Kwaku?
40:06Hi, Kwaku.
40:07Hi, Kwaku.
40:09Hi.
40:14I got a Mr. Fifth, too.
40:16I go in the dining room with them, help them study, do their homework.
40:23Kamada, listen to what you're doing.
40:26You didn't do nothing but make circles.
40:29Help Kamada and Kalandri write their name, help everybody.
40:34When I was young, people used to help me.
40:38And now, when I'm old and my brother and sister's young, I like to help them.
40:45What is this?
40:46I cry here.
40:48My daughters have been very special to me.
40:55They've been hard to come by because they say, if you're a single parent, if you're male, that you're obviously homosexual.
41:05And therefore, they can't place little boys with you.
41:08And then they get caught in a bind because if you're male and you're single, then they also don't want to place little girls with you.
41:15So that you're caught in a double bind.
41:17You're not, if you're a single male parent, you're not supposed to have little boys or little girls.
41:22I feel very good about the fact that I was able to fight a heavy battle.
41:31It took five years and I was able to come out with four beautiful daughters.
41:40One of whom loves to run her mouth.
41:43I think the other special thing about our family, and especially in terms of my girls, is that they are a good example of being able to bring children together.
42:05Canika and Kimata and Kimata had never been together, and through taking them together, and through taking them, I was able to bring them together.
42:15Kiangor and Kimata and Kimata and Kimata and Miata and Kimata were.
42:19We were scheduled to be split up.
42:20Like Ali's色y.
42:21And I was able to keep them together.
42:23I was able to get Kahlua first, my first daughter, because she had a brother who had a problem that made him extremely difficult to place.
42:40And because I was willing to take both of them, I was able to keep them together.
42:45They are not separate from the rest of the family.
43:02And even though Kianga and Kalua both have brothers that are in the family,
43:08when they speak in terms of their brothers, they're talking about all of their brothers.
43:15Happy Birthdays here for me! Happy Birthdays to you!
43:27When I was alone, I got scared. When I was sick, I used to worry that I was going to die.
43:35Now that I'm in a home, I feel safe. I'm 12 and this is my fourth birthday here.
43:45I love it when my birthday comes because I see all my brothers and sisters putting out the candy, the prizes, and the presents.
43:57And everybody gets excited.
44:05It would be nice for all kids to have a family like this without any arguing or worrying.
44:15One of the things that we've been very lucky with is that Kofi's never been into the hospital since he's been with me.
44:23Kofi's had kind of a hard time because when Kofi was very, very young, he developed a kidney disorder that was called nephritis.
44:37And the bad thing about nephritis was that it was a terminal illness.
44:42And that scared people.
44:44And when they told me about it in Kofi, I was a little frightened and a little worried about it too.
44:49And I thought about it and I decided that the most important thing from my viewpoint was that I would be able to give as much as possible for as much time as we had together.
45:06And that Kofi, who had not had a home, a place that was permanent, that he should have that opportunity.
45:15And that if that opportunity lasted for a day or a week or a year, that it still would be all right.
45:23But Kofi's turned out to be a pretty healthy kid at this point and does everything everyone else does and gets into trouble like everyone else.
45:35And we haven't had any hospitalizations, thank goodness.
45:41Okay, get your monkeys ready.
45:43Okay.
45:44The worker called me back and she said, I'm not at all sure you'll consider this child because he has so many problems, but maybe you'd consider him.
46:12And she told me about a little boy who was then three years old and he had been born with a head casing that wouldn't grow.
46:22He was microcephalic and he had problems with his ears and he had drooping eyelids and he had a cleft palate and no speech.
46:33And at one point he had just kind of given up hope.
46:38No more jumping on the bed.
46:42I'm gonna sing about the lady.
46:45But I looked at a picture of him and I thought that maybe we could make it.
46:49And so therefore I asked her to send me Kalanji.
46:52And he came to me and he was either my 12th or my 13th son.
46:57But Kalanji is a dynamo and he is doing very well.
47:03And I am very happy that he's my son.
47:07You're a character.
47:10What's this under his left breast?
47:12I just didn't understand why in the name of Moses anyone on earth would wish to adopt a Kalanji.
47:19I have no idea where daddy took you.
47:22All I know is it needs some attention.
47:25I had been away from the hospital and I returned to find everybody surrounding me to tell me that this gentleman had come in.
47:36And that I had to see him.
47:40I did give him the earliest appointment I could which must have been within a week.
47:45And he came in looking as he presents now in his African regalia with his adopted children.
47:54Though no one told me what to expect.
47:58And as Shakespeare says, you know, the apparel often speaks the man.
48:02The first thing that hits you is how a person appears.
48:05Then my next thought was, what are you going to do with this man who looks like he's off the wall?
48:11I tried to be as professional as possible and not show my concern.
48:17Certainly this gentleman was presenting me with something for which the profession had not prepared me or trained me.
48:24And since I'm supposed to take a history, I was trying to find out where was the mother of these children to discover that he was not married.
48:33I don't remember all the details, but I hoped he would stop adopting children.
48:37And I also hoped that the system wouldn't let him adopt these children.
48:41And I guess I very efficiently and very professionally told him, if he must take these children, why not foster care?
48:48I guess he thought I was crazy too. Why foster care? He's not interested in foster care. He wants to give these children a home.
48:54I think I approached Dr. Gunning as I approach most quote unquote professionals.
49:02It's with a feeling that they have something that would benefit my children.
49:12And I hope that I'll be able to get it.
49:14But the fear that it's going to ultimately mean another long, tiresome battle because people don't understand or they don't believe, in many cases, a lot of the things that I've come to believe.
49:31And Dr. Gunning was kind of new and refreshing in a sense because she didn't pull any punches.
49:39She told me straight out, I think you're crazy. And I don't know what the heck all of this is about.
49:46And that was nice because most people, many people will feel that there's a hidden agenda, but they're not going to come right out.
49:54They're not going to say that they feel that there's a hidden agenda.
49:57And those people will give you half treatment. They'll only do part of what they could do for the child because they let their own prejudices put them in a trick bag.
50:11And Kalanji had been handled by so many inept doctors. He had been so mistreated by their lack of caring and gentleness and understanding that he was afraid of doctors.
50:26And Dr. Gunning, with all of her brisk manner, was able to take that child and work with him.
50:33If I were going to hurt you, I would tell you.
50:36Because she was able to bridge his fears.
50:42Don't put it all away in my ear.
50:44What?
50:45Don't put it all away in my ear.
50:46Are you giving me all this today?
50:48Are you giving me all this?
50:53Put it as far in your ear as I need to.
50:55From what we know of the function of these youngsters, he should definitely be mentally retarded.
51:04And in the beginning, he certainly was quite developmentally delayed.
51:10Would you care to lie down again for me for a minute?
51:13You could lie down.
51:15Then I'll let you sit down, okay?
51:16Okay.
51:20And he has become a charming, fascinating little man.
51:25He still has his deficits.
51:27There isn't any question that he does.
51:29But he knows who he is.
51:31And he feels like a person.
51:33He is confident.
51:35He can trust you.
51:37Kalanji was like a rosebud when I saw him.
51:41All I could see was the thorn.
51:44A long stem.
51:46I really didn't see the rosebud then.
51:48I saw a thorn and I guess the rosebud was there and I was not bright enough to see it.
51:55Each child that he took was a society's loser.
52:00And therefore, the first thing we think is something's got to be wrong with this person.
52:05This person cannot be for real.
52:07Consequently, I did everything in my power to find that he was not for real.
52:14And I grew to understand that it wasn't important for me to understand him.
52:20His children were proving that whatever it was they needed to become children was being provided.
52:27So I have seen successive of his children and threatened them each time not to take another child.
52:33And I see another loser begin.
52:37And I see children emerging.
52:40So I no longer question.
52:41Love can do what nothing else can do.
52:44Erase your doubts and make you whole.
52:46A touch can say.
52:47What nothing else can say.
52:48Feeling pride is now.
52:49Feeling pride is now.
52:50Love can do what nothing else can do.
52:55Erase your doubts can do.
52:56Erase your doubts and make you whole.
52:57And make you whole.
52:58A touch can say.
52:59What nothing else can say.
53:00What nothing else can say.
53:01Feeling pride is now.
53:03Feel pride is now.
53:04Not so hard to do.
53:07There is strength inside.
53:08There is strength inside.
53:12There is more of you.
53:14Because those you love.
53:15Because those you love.
53:16Become a part of.
53:17A part of you.
53:19A part of you.
53:20A part of you.
53:21A part of you.
53:22You.
53:24Life can be.
53:25Life can be.
53:26A part of you.
53:27A part of you.
53:28Life can be.
53:29All you want it to be.
53:30Because those you love
53:35Become a part of
53:40A part of you
53:44A part of you
53:49Life can be
53:53All you want it to be
53:59You can't make it long
54:04But with love we have
54:09All we need to have
54:17And you got something now
54:21That was overdue
54:25That no one can
54:30Take away from you
54:34Because those you love
54:38Become a part of
54:42A part of you
54:46A part of you
54:51A part of you
55:05¶¶
55:20¶ Feeling pride is now
55:25¶ Not so hard to do
55:28¶ There is strength inside
55:32¶ There is more of you
55:36¶ Because those you love
55:41¶ Become a part of
55:45¶ A part of you
55:49¶ A part of
55:54¶ A part of you
55:57¶ A part of
56:06¶ A part
56:08¶ A part of you
56:16¶ A part of you
56:19¶ пару
56:21¶ A part of you
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