00:00to be honest the first time he proposed i said no and he threw the ring in the pool
00:03there are red flags there and i'm gonna blame myself for most of these okay i felt a lot of
00:08pressure i it's you know a whirlwind and at the time that felt normal to me and that has been my
00:17past and so yes the quick courting and all those things like that's sort of what i was used to
00:24and it didn't even feel right then but then he would make me feel bad about things and then i
00:30did start feeling bad because i'm female and i'm emotional and then i'm like well yeah i guess that
00:35and it's it's constant it was constantly like that during a relationship this whole thing makes me as
00:41a mom and a woman feel bad to be honest and feel a little strange that i for whatever reason
00:49allowed that to go on so long of course at the beginning of the relationship you know things are
00:54things are great but i've learned a lot more about red flags and rushing into things and
01:04a ton about rushing into things okay and yeah things are great for the first year but after
01:11that steadily was not so great and all all across the board and i think that has to do with probably
01:20coming into this world is not so easy for anyone i can imagine i mean even me being in this it can be
01:26strange at times and you're compared to other people and all of a sudden you're you're on tv or
01:32you're not on tv and it's just i think it was too much for him and it weighed on him and truly i hope he's
01:40happy now in his life i wish no ill will upon him i was upset at the beginning and i was talking about it
01:48because i was honestly shocked about what he was going after financially he'd always promised me
01:54that he wouldn't do that so i was very angry and i was hoping that by talking about it and putting
01:58out there that he would back down and be embarrassed as a man it didn't work but now i have no desire to
02:04go pop off on him to go talk about him i was in a very upset state at the time but now everything's
02:11very calm and i yeah there's there's no bad wishes there
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