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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh my god, Henley.
00:00:07Oh my god.
00:00:11You're covered in coffee.
00:00:13Yeah, of course.
00:00:14I came as soon as I got Mom's message.
00:00:16What happened?
00:00:17I skipped breakfast and fainted on the track.
00:00:20It's no big deal.
00:00:21You had me so worried.
00:00:23It'd take more than an empty stomach to kill me off.
00:00:26You're right.
00:00:27You know what, let me go grab you some food.
00:00:29Okay?
00:00:30Mm-hmm.
00:00:31What can't be happening?
00:00:33I'm afraid it's the situation.
00:00:36Mom?
00:00:37I'm sorry.
00:00:38The doctor has some bad news.
00:00:40What?
00:00:41I'm sorry.
00:00:42Your sister has leukemia.
00:00:44Our insurance has expired.
00:00:47There's no way we can pay for her treatment.
00:00:49Don't worry.
00:00:50I'll figure something out.
00:00:51You just go and look after Henley for a moment, okay?
00:00:54Okay.
00:00:55Okay?
00:00:59Oh, my God.
00:01:01What am I gonna do?
00:01:04I'm only on minimum wage.
00:01:06There are other ways to pay.
00:01:09Tell me.
00:01:10Are you single?
00:01:11What?
00:01:12What's that gotta do with anything?
00:01:14It might just save your sister's life.
00:01:18A deluxe mail order bride service?
00:01:22Hello.
00:01:23You got your best dress, Harry Douglas.
00:01:25We found you a bidder.
00:01:27What's the money?
00:01:28Hello?
00:01:29You got your best dress, Harry Douglas.
00:01:31We found you a bidder.
00:01:32Hello.
00:01:40Dig out your best dress, Harry Douglas.
00:01:43We found you a bidder.
00:02:02Your Royal Highness, Princess Dima has arrived.
00:02:25Excellent. We can finally confirm our engagement.
00:02:28The thing is we're not exactly sure where in the castle she is.
00:02:30She was last seen speaking to your cousin.
00:02:33Marcus is here.
00:02:35We'll find him before he starts any trouble.
00:02:37No need. I know exactly where he'll be.
00:02:49Dima!
00:02:51Edward!
00:02:53I'm sorry, my love. I don't know what came over me.
00:02:56I do.
00:02:58She wanted a taste of the true heir to the throne.
00:03:03Your majesty, please.
00:03:05No.
00:03:07If either of you step foot in this palace again, I will have you both executed for treason.
00:03:24Now get out.
00:03:26I guess there won't be a royal wedding after all.
00:03:42It took years to arrange your marriage to Princess Dima.
00:03:45And now you're throwing our new alliance with Lathina away?
00:03:50I wasn't the one fucking someone else on the throne.
00:03:52You watch your language, boy.
00:03:53She was having sex with cousin Marcus on our seat of power.
00:03:58The one he craves for himself.
00:04:01Surely you can't expect me to still marry her.
00:04:03I'll travel to Lathina and clear up your mess.
00:04:07But there will be a royal wedding.
00:04:10You are to find a new bride worthy of this crown.
00:04:15You do.
00:04:17I'll find a new bride who's been being a new bride.
00:04:20Now get back to her.
00:04:22You have to find a new bride with a new bride.
00:04:24I'll be kidding.
00:04:27I'm sorry.
00:04:29When I was in the next podcast, I would be happy to have a new bride.
00:04:32Ahri Douglas, spread your arms, please.
00:04:50Um, we agreed that our first date wouldn't be physical, but...
00:04:55Is that really necessary?
00:04:59Your bag, please.
00:05:00You're not my date, are you?
00:05:05I shouldn't have signed up for this.
00:05:06No, I'm sorry.
00:05:07I think I'm just gonna go.
00:05:08Ma'am?
00:05:09Your Highness.
00:05:11Prince Edward.
00:05:24His Royal Highness, Prince Edward Piercement of Australia.
00:05:28That's your service.
00:05:29Ahri Douglas of Queens.
00:05:31Hmm.
00:05:32Not a bad start.
00:05:34This is a joke, right?
00:05:35I mean, why would a prince need a mail-order bride?
00:05:38Have I read your profile?
00:05:40You're smart, beautiful, talented.
00:05:43But you're hiding something.
00:05:45You don't want money, you need it.
00:05:49You don't know anything about me.
00:05:51Precisely.
00:05:52So you're going to change that, or should I just assume that you are a gold digger like
00:05:56all the rest?
00:05:57You have a great day, Your Highness.
00:06:03Back to the airport, sir?
00:06:05No.
00:06:06Follow her.
00:06:08Follow her.
00:06:10How are you feeling today?
00:06:12Why do people keep treating me like I'm dying?
00:06:14We were just worried about you.
00:06:16What's wrong?
00:06:17I think I'm hallucinating.
00:06:19What?
00:06:20Isn't that Prince Edward?
00:06:21What the hell are you doing here?
00:06:22Ari, you're speaking to literal royalty.
00:06:23Yeah, it's alright.
00:06:24It's alright.
00:06:25We bumped into each other as I toured the hospital, and I was a little rude.
00:06:26I apologise, Miss Douglas.
00:06:27I apologise.
00:06:28I apologise.
00:06:29I apologise.
00:06:30I apologise.
00:06:31I apologise.
00:06:32I apologise.
00:06:33I apologise.
00:06:34I apologise.
00:06:35How are you feeling today?
00:06:36Why do people keep treating me like I'm dying?
00:06:37We were just worried about you.
00:06:38What's wrong?
00:06:39I think I'm hallucinating.
00:06:40What?
00:06:41Isn't that Prince Edward?
00:06:42What the hell are you doing here?
00:06:43Ari, you're speaking to literal royalty.
00:06:45It's alright.
00:06:46We bumped into each other as I toured the hospital, and I was a little rude.
00:06:52I apologise, Miss Douglas.
00:06:54Could I have a word outside?
00:07:05You're doing this for your sister?
00:07:07Well done.
00:07:08Gold star for the Prince.
00:07:10If you marry me, I will pay for her whole treatment.
00:07:15Anything she needs.
00:07:17Wait, you're serious?
00:07:19Yes.
00:07:20But, if you'll permit me, there is one last thing I must test.
00:07:27What now?
00:07:28What now?
00:07:44I love you, sis.
00:07:45I love you, sis.
00:07:57Australian tradition dictates that you mustn't see each other again until your wedding day.
00:08:10What?
00:08:11So you just kissed me and left?
00:08:12I'm to escort you to Australia as soon as you're done here.
00:08:14But I must gas you to keep the engagement a secret.
00:08:16Why?
00:08:17Every move a royal mech is in the spotlight.
00:08:20It's just one of the many things you're going to have to get used to.
00:08:23And fast.
00:08:24Your new life starts now.
00:08:28Good night.
00:08:39Mum?
00:08:40This is Prince Edward's younger brother, Prince Xavier.
00:08:43Oh, hi.
00:08:44Um...
00:08:45Greetings, your royal highness.
00:08:54Oh.
00:08:55My God.
00:08:56She didn't even teach you how to curtsy.
00:09:16God, I'm sorry.
00:09:18Although that really was the worst curtsy I think I've ever seen.
00:09:23So you're the famous Harry Douglas I've heard so much about.
00:09:27I'm Edward's younger, funnier, more handsome, more charismatic little brother.
00:09:32Sorry you ended up with a dad, but, um...
00:09:36Hey.
00:09:37We still have time to fall in love.
00:09:39Run away before the wedding.
00:09:41Come with me.
00:09:44Uh, this is our little fixer-upper.
00:09:51Your room's round about the 312th on the left.
00:09:56I imagine you want to settle in and rest, but...
00:10:03Already late for our first appointment.
00:10:05I'm going to leave.
00:10:06I'll begin.
00:10:07Thanks, Paige.
00:10:08Thanks.
00:10:09Thanks, guys.
00:10:10Yes.
00:10:11Thanks, Chris.
00:10:43From rags to riches, let's make you a princess.
00:11:03Yes, queen. Or should I say, yes, future queen.
00:11:09I've never seen myself like this.
00:11:11I'll strap those heels.
00:11:22Why did Edna find a savage?
00:11:25Isn't it obvious? She's a whore.
00:11:28You must have fallen in love with her, almost between her legs.
00:11:32She'll be gone as soon as he gets bored of fucking a present.
00:11:44Go away.
00:11:45So this is true.
00:11:56Who are you?
00:11:57Your predecessor.
00:11:58You have a very pretty face.
00:12:07If you want to keep it that way, leave while you still can.
00:12:12Is that a threat?
00:12:13No, no, it's a warning.
00:12:16Edward is not the man he makes out to be.
00:12:18And trust me, my darling, you weren't the first one to fall for his trap.
00:12:34Harry?
00:12:36Harry, you're not leaving, are you?
00:12:44Harry?
00:12:44I've been transferred to the best cancer hospital in Manhattan.
00:13:08My treatment's being paid for by some anonymous donor.
00:13:11Harry?
00:13:12That's great, hen.
00:13:13I feel like I can finally breathe again.
00:13:16Oh, gotta go.
00:13:17Dog's here.
00:13:18Love you.
00:13:20Love you.
00:13:24Harry?
00:13:25Harry?
00:13:27It's a big day.
00:13:31Okay.
00:13:38Let's get this over with.
00:13:39You look radiant.
00:14:04I'm sorry, it's not the royal wedding you might have expected.
00:14:08My father is...
00:14:09I'm just doing this for Anthony.
00:14:11Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.
00:14:18Prince Edward, your bouts.
00:14:21Harry, though it was circumstance that brought us together, it is love that will bind us.
00:14:27With this ring, I commit to you my heart, my spirit, and my soul.
00:14:38Let us share our lives until they are well spent, and spend them well, together.
00:14:43Do you, Edward, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?
00:14:50I do.
00:14:51And do you, Ariana, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?
00:14:55I do.
00:15:03And I now pronounce you husband and wife.
00:15:07You may kiss the bride.
00:15:10Arrest that man!
00:15:14Arrest that man!
00:15:16What's the meaning of this?
00:15:21You know exactly what you did, you bastard.
00:15:24Explain yourself.
00:15:27Last night, Prince Edward here decided to pay a little visit to my beloved fiancé.
00:15:33What fiancé?
00:15:35Princess Dima.
00:15:36I only went there to achieve the royal wedding.
00:15:46And this is what he did to me when I refused to give it to him.
00:15:49That is a lie.
00:15:50Take him away.
00:15:52You don't believe them, do you, Ari?
00:15:56Ari?
00:15:57Ari?
00:15:59Ari!
00:16:01Ari!
00:16:06Comfortable, cousin?
00:16:12You scoundrel!
00:16:14It was you that put those brutus on Dima.
00:16:18What do you care?
00:16:20Besides, you've got your American Barbie princess now, anyway.
00:16:24What happened to you?
00:16:26We used to be like brothers.
00:16:27If we were brothers, then there wouldn't be a problem.
00:16:30I'd already have the crown.
00:16:33That's what this is about.
00:16:34You discredited me in order to steal my birthright.
00:16:37It's just as much my birthright as it is yours.
00:16:40My father should have fought for what he's rightfully his.
00:16:43He was a younger twin!
00:16:44By what?
00:16:45Twelve minutes, was it?
00:16:47Your father was only given the airship because he was the favourite son.
00:16:51And you are willing to destroy our family over such nonsense?
00:16:57I am.
00:16:59But it doesn't have to go that way, cousin.
00:17:01Listen, simply relinquish your claim to the throne to me and I'll drop the charges.
00:17:07They won't stand anyway.
00:17:08Oh, they will.
00:17:11I have every High Court judge in my back pocket.
00:17:15If you even try and take this to trial, I will ruin you.
00:17:19You're all right.
00:17:43I don't know.
00:17:43I've reached the chicken pen, but it's all out of hens.
00:17:55Leave a message and I'll clock you back.
00:18:13I'll clock you back.
00:18:43I'll clock you back.
00:19:13An annulment agreement?
00:19:17Well, I presume your ridiculous marriage has not been consummated yet due to my son's situation.
00:19:23Sign the contract and let's end this foolishness.
00:19:25I can't.
00:19:28You can, and you will.
00:19:31No.
00:19:32Edward promised me that he'd pay for my sister's cancer tuition and I can't let her down.
00:19:36Well, if it's just the money you're here for, have it.
00:19:40This feels wrong.
00:19:49Either you sign or we force you to.
00:19:53Trust me, we still keep some nasty traditions in this palace.
00:19:58You asked me to find a bride worthy of the crown.
00:20:20So I did.
00:20:21The girls are commoner.
00:20:23No, father.
00:20:25She is my wife.
00:20:26I will not let you change that.
00:20:39I'm so sorry for today.
00:20:41I don't want your apologies.
00:20:44I want the truth.
00:20:47Did you hurt Princess Dima?
00:20:50No.
00:20:51My cousin Marcus is trying to smear my reputation.
00:20:56Why should I believe you?
00:21:00Why do you think you're here, Ari?
00:21:02I don't know.
00:21:04I was supposed to marry Princess Dima for political reasons.
00:21:09When she cheated on me, I made a vow to only marry the person that I wanted.
00:21:14And then I found you.
00:21:16We barely know each other.
00:21:18Then give me a chance.
00:21:21I saw how you would go to any length to save your sister.
00:21:25And it resonated with me because...
00:21:28I lost my mother to cancer.
00:21:34Edward.
00:21:35Ari, I fell in love with your humanity.
00:21:40And now I'm asking that you trust in mine.
00:21:44I'm innocent.
00:21:46Edward, you're shaking.
00:21:51I never kissed the bride.
00:22:09It's still our wedding day for another five minutes.
00:22:11I can't believe you did all of this for me and my family, Edward.
00:22:38Edward, I can't wait to tell them that we're married.
00:22:47Mum?
00:22:48Mum?
00:22:50What's wrong?
00:22:56I...
00:22:56I'm innocent of Copa.
00:22:58So you ran off to get hitched while your sister fights for her life?
00:23:14It wasn't like that.
00:23:16That big shiny ring suggests otherwise.
00:23:21Edward is paying for him, these treatments.
00:23:23He's the reason that she's in this hospital.
00:23:24Why?
00:23:26What does he get out of it?
00:23:29Me.
00:23:31You sold yourself to him?
00:23:33Is that what you're telling me?
00:23:36Friendly, Mum.
00:23:38Friendly.
00:23:39This is Dr. Mortimer, my private physician.
00:23:49I recommend we perform a stem cell transplant right away.
00:23:53It's risky, but it could save Henley's life.
00:23:56Ari, your medical record shows you could be an ideal donor.
00:24:00Just show me where to sign, Doc.
00:24:02I don't even know this person.
00:24:04She could be a quack.
00:24:05If Edward trusts him, then so do I.
00:24:09We will get both of you prepped for surgery immediately.
00:24:27Mum?
00:24:27Mum, sweetheart, here.
00:24:29Have some water.
00:24:33He hasn't left your side.
00:24:36I'm so sorry about before.
00:24:39I was just struggling so much without you here.
00:24:42Henley.
00:24:43She's still sleeping.
00:24:45But the surgery was a success.
00:24:49I can't believe what you did for your sister.
00:24:52Selling yourself to this man.
00:24:56What they're saying about him in the papers.
00:25:00It's all lies, Mum.
00:25:01Mum, someone's trying to get him.
00:25:03Doctor.
00:25:07Ari's awake.
00:25:12Ever!
00:25:13Ever!
00:25:20Ever!
00:25:25Ever!
00:25:26Ever!
00:25:27Emma!
00:25:29Emma!
00:25:41Emma!
00:25:51Look at you, Peppa!
00:25:57I'm not your pal.
00:26:07That wasn't very nice.
00:26:09Field trip's over.
00:26:11We need to get you and the princess to a thief house now.
00:26:27How are you feeling now?
00:26:39Who the hell were they, Edward?
00:26:41They must have been sent by Marcus.
00:26:43He wants the throne that badly that he'd try and kill his own cousin.
00:26:47Try to put it out of your mind.
00:26:49I can't.
00:26:51I can't stop thinking about how close they came to losing you.
00:26:55I nearly lost you.
00:26:57You would have sacrificed yourself to save me.
00:27:01Why?
00:27:03You know why?
00:27:07Say it, Laurie.
00:27:11Say it.
00:27:13Because I love you, Edward.
00:27:17And I can't let you go.
00:27:21You may be running now, please.
00:27:45We are all you!
00:27:47I'm sorry, did I wake you?
00:28:17Oh, wow. Again?
00:28:21Yeah, well, he's going to take us to breakfast, but we're not allowed to be.
00:28:30Percy.
00:28:32So much for this being a safe room.
00:28:35Sorry, Your Highnesses, but we need to get you back to Australia right away.
00:28:38But I wanted to see Henley first.
00:28:40Yes, and I wanted to get some answers from the assassin.
00:28:42Well, that could be difficult. He's just been murdered in a cell.
00:28:46Someone didn't want him to talk.
00:28:47Marcus.
00:29:01I know it's not the perfect honeymoon, but we used to spend every Christmas at Oakville when I was a boy.
00:29:08It was my mother's favorite place.
00:29:11No wonder.
00:29:12It's beautiful.
00:29:13It's beautiful.
00:29:13Can I help you, sir?
00:29:22I'm here to escort Prince Edward and Princess Arie on their honeymoon.
00:29:25Prince Edward is welcome.
00:29:26The lady is not.
00:29:29Excuse me?
00:29:31King's orders, Your Highness.
00:29:33He doesn't recognize her as a member of the royal family.
00:29:35How dare you question my wife to just, Missy?
00:29:42I'll have you discharged.
00:29:44I'll deal with this.
00:29:45Let us through, lad.
00:29:51That's an order.
00:29:52Your order doesn't outtrack the king's.
00:29:54Actually, in matters of security, it does.
00:29:57There's currently a threat on the lives of both the prince and the princess.
00:29:59Do you want their deaths on your conscience?
00:30:08Whoa.
00:30:09Easy.
00:30:11I'm sorry, my love.
00:30:12This is outrageous.
00:30:14Oh, believe me, this is not my first traffic fight.
00:30:17Let me show you how we resolve things the American way.
00:30:19Well, you've been about as useful as a screen door and a submarine kit.
00:30:49You know, I like this better than the palace.
00:30:59It feels more, I don't know.
00:31:03Like home.
00:31:04Yeah, if your home has 23 bathrooms, 30,000 acres, and a dozen horses, then sure.
00:31:11Oh, you'll love this.
00:31:15Every Christmas, we used to put a play on for the adults.
00:31:18Oh, are we, Peter Pan?
00:31:21One year.
00:31:22And here is my costume from the Nutcracker.
00:31:27Oh.
00:31:28Oh.
00:31:32Prince Charming.
00:31:35At your service, milady.
00:31:37Oh, my hero.
00:31:44It suits you.
00:31:45Well, maybe our kids will wear these one day.
00:31:49Good practice for the real thing.
00:31:55Ah.
00:31:56Another family tradition.
00:31:59My first kill, in fact.
00:32:02Wait.
00:32:03You killed this stag?
00:32:07Edward, that's horrible.
00:32:10Edward, that's horrible.
00:32:11Well, no, it's heritage.
00:32:15There are mounts here, dating back to the 18th century.
00:32:20Oh, really?
00:32:21And did they use a guillotine to chop off their heads?
00:32:25You're being ridiculous.
00:32:26Me?
00:32:28I find it ridiculous, no barbaric, that you could butcher one of these creatures for sport.
00:32:33No, we don't butcher them.
00:32:35We have the utmost respect for our game.
00:32:36Your game.
00:32:39Your game.
00:32:40If you had respect for your game, you wouldn't call it your game.
00:32:44God, how could I have been so wrong about you?
00:32:47What does that mean?
00:32:48You're just like one of them.
00:32:50A little snob with a big gun.
00:32:53You're judging me because of my class.
00:32:56Yes.
00:32:57Killing things to impress people?
00:32:59It's horrible.
00:33:00Beg your pardon?
00:33:01Not now, Percy.
00:33:02Not now, Percy.
00:33:02Apologies, your highnesses, but I think you're going to want to see this.
00:33:10How are you feeling now, your highness?
00:33:12See for yourself.
00:33:20Edward has to face justice.
00:33:22We can't be ruled by a criminal.
00:33:24The prince is innocent until proven guilty.
00:33:28And he'll have his day in court.
00:33:30But there is something else you should know about him, darling.
00:33:35He called off our wedding so that he could marry an American prostitute named Ari Douglas.
00:33:42How dare they?
00:33:45These people are not fit to wear the crown.
00:33:48We'd make a better king and queen than my cousin Edward and his yank, Hall.
00:33:52A persuasive argument.
00:33:55Let's hope the public disagrees.
00:33:56You've not only brought this family into disrepute, Edward, but the crown itself.
00:34:07You really believe the accusations?
00:34:10Well, they tally with your reckless decision to marry this commoner.
00:34:14I'll give you one last chance to end this farce.
00:34:17Sign the annulment and we'll deny everything to the press.
00:34:20No.
00:34:26Ari is my wife.
00:34:28Now and forever.
00:34:31So be it.
00:34:33Your marriage stands.
00:34:35You honor me, father.
00:34:36I'm not only father to you.
00:34:39I'm father to this nation.
00:34:41And I will not have you jeopardize the crown.
00:34:45Xavier.
00:34:47You shall be my successor.
00:34:49And the new crown prince of Estria.
00:34:55You can't do that.
00:34:58It goes against convention, but these are unconventional times.
00:35:01No, you can't do that because I don't want it.
00:35:05It's not about what you want.
00:35:07We're at war with your cousin.
00:35:09And maybe with Lathina soon too.
00:35:11We need a show of strength.
00:35:13Giving in to Marcus's games?
00:35:16That's a show of strength?
00:35:17It wipes the slate clean.
00:35:21Xavier will be the new face of the monarchy.
00:35:24You'll marry a woman of stature and sire and heir.
00:35:31Are you blind?
00:35:33Or do you just ignore what's right in front of you?
00:35:38What are you talking about now?
00:35:41I won't marry.
00:35:44I won't have an heir.
00:35:46And I won't be king.
00:35:49Because I'm gay.
00:35:49The monarchy is above sexuality, Xavier.
00:35:57It's your crown too tight around the cranium.
00:36:00I'd rather announce all my titles than continue living this lie.
00:36:03What have I done to deserve these boys?
00:36:07You know, that's a good question.
00:36:09You have two incredible brave sons.
00:36:12But you didn't do anything to deserve them.
00:36:15I'm warning you, father.
00:36:16No, honestly.
00:36:17It's okay.
00:36:18I've got this.
00:36:20You think I'm scared of you, Maxwell?
00:36:22I'm not.
00:36:24I'm just so disappointed.
00:36:26You see, I never met my dad.
00:36:28And when we first met, I thought I would finally feel what it's like to have a real father.
00:36:34And now, honestly, I'm...
00:36:37I'm...
00:36:37I wish I'd never found out.
00:36:40You say you're father to the nation.
00:36:43You're not even a good father to your own sons.
00:36:45You're not even a good father to your own sons.
00:37:15No, no, no.
00:37:16It's fine.
00:37:17I'll try it.
00:37:20Actually, I wanted to apologize for yesterday about the stag thing.
00:37:25After our argument with your dad, I kind of...
00:37:28I realized how different our upbringings were.
00:37:31It wasn't fair to judge you for that.
00:37:34I appreciate that.
00:37:36And, um, what you said to him too.
00:37:39Morning.
00:37:51Morning.
00:37:54The king has arranged for Princess Arie to make her first public appearance.
00:37:58What?
00:37:59He said, and I quote, um, put that girl on TV.
00:38:03She's got some fire in her belly.
00:38:06He thinks we can beat Marcus by winning over the people.
00:38:10Well, that is great news.
00:38:11He did have one stipulation.
00:38:13You're to return to the palace, ma'am, for lessons in etiquette.
00:38:16And he'll be your personal tutor.
00:38:31Princess Arie Anna.
00:38:33Forgive me.
00:38:41My behavior has been unbecoming.
00:38:44Yeah, I don't really know what that means, but, um, apologies if I said it.
00:38:49Estrians respect their kings, but they love their queens.
00:38:53So, we have to work on your decorum.
00:38:57Thankfully, you'll be learning from the best.
00:38:59That's not a very decorum-y thing to say, Your Majesty.
00:39:02The word you're looking for is decorous.
00:39:04And I'm not talking about myself.
00:39:07I'm talking about your mother-in-law.
00:39:15Christmas is a time of joy.
00:39:17Notice her posture.
00:39:19And of her.
00:39:20Her poise.
00:39:21You're straighter.
00:39:23As though you have an iron rod.
00:39:24Across the street.
00:39:25To everyone watching.
00:39:26This is your etiquette lesson, not mine.
00:39:29Repeat after her.
00:39:30My husband and I would like to wish you a very merry Christmas.
00:39:37Well, you said all the words in with the right heart.
00:39:42What was she like?
00:39:45A lot like you.
00:39:47She had a very kind way with people.
00:39:49Her charity work was her life.
00:39:52Boys were devastated to lose her.
00:39:54And you?
00:40:00It's never been the same without her.
00:40:09She's an inspiration?
00:40:11Yes.
00:40:13Our next queen has a lot to live up to.
00:40:15Good evening.
00:40:21Tonight I'm joined by Prince Edward's new bride, Princess Ariana.
00:40:25Welcome, Your Royal Highness.
00:40:28Good evening.
00:40:30Esther was shocked to learn about your recent marriage.
00:40:32Could you tell us more about how you met Prince Edward?
00:40:34We met in my hometown of Queens.
00:40:37Edward found that very serendipitous.
00:40:41Princess Dima alerts that you were working as a prostitute there.
00:40:44No, that is not true.
00:40:46So you are calling your fellow princess a liar?
00:40:49She was misinformed.
00:40:51To be clear, did Prince Edward ever pay you for your services?
00:40:55No, not in that way.
00:40:56So he has paid you?
00:40:57I'd rather not discuss.
00:40:59Ma'am, the public has a right to know who their new princess really is.
00:41:03So I would ask you again.
00:41:06Did Prince Edward ever pay you for your services?
00:41:25All right, yes.
00:41:26He paid for me.
00:41:27I was his mail-order bride.
00:41:30And maybe that's just as much a scandal,
00:41:32but marrying Prince Edward is the best thing that I have ever done.
00:41:39My sister was fighting cancer,
00:41:41and I needed the money to save her.
00:41:43And he gave me that.
00:41:44But he gave me so much more.
00:41:47I'm not talking about the crown or the castles.
00:41:51I'm talking about his love
00:41:52and his kindness and his respect.
00:41:57And yes, I am calling Princess Demer a liar.
00:42:01I don't know why she wants to ruin us.
00:42:03Maybe she's bitter because Edward didn't forgive her
00:42:05after she was caught cheating on him with Prince Marcus.
00:42:09You can ask her about that.
00:42:11But what I do know is Edward is a good man.
00:42:15And yes, this started out as a transaction for sure.
00:42:18I needed the money to save my sister,
00:42:20and he needed to be saved
00:42:22for marrying a woman that he didn't love.
00:42:25But now my sister is getting better.
00:42:28And Edward has a wife who couldn't love him more.
00:42:31It's about time you started fighting back.
00:42:48Nice performance.
00:42:50Really appealing to the old heartstrings.
00:42:52It wasn't a performance.
00:42:53It's always a performance, Princess.
00:42:57Only the people, they don't want love stories.
00:42:59They want dirt.
00:43:01That's why I'll win.
00:43:03Because I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty.
00:43:06As we discovered in New York.
00:43:08Are you referring to the assassination attempt?
00:43:11In fact, I'm the only reason you're still breathing.
00:43:16What?
00:43:17It was Athena who wanted you dead.
00:43:20But I convinced King Ithen to
00:43:22hold off
00:43:23for now.
00:43:25See, he's willing to let you live
00:43:28so long as you...
00:43:29Give my airship to you.
00:43:32Clever boy.
00:43:34Make all the threats you want.
00:43:37I will prove my innocence in court.
00:43:41Oh, even if you are somehow able to convince
00:43:43my judge that Dima's the one lying,
00:43:46you won't convince her father.
00:43:48If you're found not guilty,
00:43:51he'll simply declare war.
00:43:53You just can't win.
00:43:55Your Highness,
00:43:56we're getting record engagements
00:43:57on our socials.
00:43:58People are going crazy
00:43:59for their new princess.
00:44:03Maybe they do want love stories after all.
00:44:05Oh, here's a good one.
00:44:17Starting a petition to rename
00:44:18Princess Harry the Queen of Spades.
00:44:21Because she just buried Princess Dima
00:44:22live on TV.
00:44:25Princess Harry is the best American import
00:44:28since fried chicken waffles.
00:44:32God, you don't actually eat that, do you?
00:44:34Um, your brother literally made me
00:44:36try a sausage made of blood.
00:44:38Fair.
00:44:47Your wife's a sensation in the nation.
00:44:49Father's etiquette lesson's clearly paid off.
00:44:53Speaking of,
00:44:54listen to this.
00:44:56Princess Harry should give
00:44:57this year's Christmas speech.
00:44:59King Maxwell's are as dry
00:45:00as my husband's turkey dinner.
00:45:02Yes, I saw that one.
00:45:04In fact,
00:45:06he gave me an idea.
00:45:10Ma'am,
00:45:10we're ready for you.
00:45:12Ready for what?
00:45:19Whenever you're ready, Your Highness.
00:45:23My fellow Estrians.
00:45:25You know, that feels pretty strange to say.
00:45:27I'm sure you're used to spending your Christmases
00:45:30with King Maxwell.
00:45:31But, surprise,
00:45:33you've got me this year.
00:45:35You know, my own Christmases
00:45:36are usually spent with my family.
00:45:39My sister, my mom, and me.
00:45:42And yet here I am,
00:45:43giving a speech to all of you.
00:45:45But it still feels the same.
00:45:48It feels like family.
00:45:49Because you have opened your hearts to me
00:45:53and made me feel at home here.
00:45:56So from the bottom of my heart,
00:45:58thank you.
00:46:00And Merry Christmas from the palace.
00:46:02You were amazing.
00:46:08We'll upload it to your new channel tonight.
00:46:11I just wish my family was really here.
00:46:13Well, I think you'll like your present, then.
00:46:20Merry Christmas, Ari.
00:46:22Hey!
00:46:28You know I can't believe you're actually here.
00:46:30I can't believe you're here.
00:46:32You're a goddamn princess.
00:46:35Ari, what you did for me,
00:46:37I could never repay you.
00:46:39But you're getting better as payment enough.
00:46:42Oh, cool.
00:46:43I guess you won't be needing your present, then.
00:46:45Too fast.
00:46:47I wanted to get you something to say thank you.
00:46:50It's not quite Crown Jewels level, but...
00:46:56Thank you, Han.
00:47:03Where's your half?
00:47:04I don't need it.
00:47:06You already gave me a part of yourself with the transplant.
00:47:09And now you'll have a part of me, too.
00:47:11Oh, Han.
00:47:12Ari, I know you did all this for me.
00:47:21But are you really happy here?
00:47:24I don't know.
00:47:27I guess my life is just really different now.
00:47:29Edward, have you heard from your lawyers?
00:47:44They've hired a PI to look into Marcus's bribery of state officials.
00:47:49But he's covered his tracks.
00:47:54I'm not sure we can beat him.
00:47:56Ari, there's a New Year's street party tonight.
00:47:58We have to go.
00:47:59You're not well enough.
00:48:01I've been here a whole week, and you haven't let me out once.
00:48:03I want to go see Estria.
00:48:05Yeah, there'll be plenty of time for that when you're better.
00:48:07But I feel fine.
00:48:08I promise.
00:48:09I...
00:48:09No, Henley, we're working on a strategy for Edward's trial.
00:48:12We really don't have time for this.
00:48:19She's been cooped up for months.
00:48:21Must have been tough.
00:48:22Henley, Henley, look, I'm really sorry.
00:48:33We can celebrate here if you like.
00:48:36Henley, please, look, I'm sorry.
00:48:38Can I come in?
00:48:45Damn it, Henley.
00:48:46Hey, have you seen this girl?
00:48:54Oh, my God, Princess Ari.
00:48:56I'm...
00:48:57I'm...
00:48:57Please, please, she's missing, and she's my sister, so...
00:49:00Oh, yeah, she's just there doing some shots.
00:49:03What?
00:49:07What are you even doing here?
00:49:09Ari, please, enough with the grown-up boys.
00:49:11You're still in recovery, and you're underage.
00:49:13I'm not in this country.
00:49:14We're going home.
00:49:15Ari, please.
00:49:17Just let me have one night.
00:49:20I never thought I'd get to see another new year.
00:49:22I knew you'd pull the cats off.
00:49:26Fine.
00:49:26But no more drinking.
00:49:28Love you, sis.
00:49:40Five, four, three, two, one!
00:49:44Happy New Year!
00:49:46Happy New Year!
00:49:47Woo-hoo!
00:49:51Woo-hoo!
00:49:53Woo-hoo!
00:49:56Oh, come on.
00:49:59I'm just having some fun.
00:50:01Don't you get it?
00:50:02I'm a public figure now.
00:50:04I have more important things to worry about than fun.
00:50:05Fine.
00:50:06Go back to your prince, and your palace, and your fancy new life.
00:50:11I'm sorry that I wanted to spend time with my sister.
00:50:14I guess she's just too important for that now.
00:50:17Oh, my God.
00:50:20No, no, no.
00:50:20No, no.
00:50:21No, no.
00:50:21No, no, no.
00:50:22No, no, no.
00:50:24No, no.
00:50:24So, my God's not going запiah one
00:50:25and that's how to do that now.
00:50:46it looks like this creep grabbed me for like half a second before i threw him off
00:50:54i'm surprised anyone had a chance to take a photo edward speak to me even if that is true
00:51:04this is on every front page the day before my trial begins
00:51:08well dean marcus must be behind it it's another smear campaign
00:51:12it's working this will lose us the country's support just when we need it the most
00:51:30court is now in session the prosecution may call its first witness thank you your honor
00:51:47the prosecution calls captain harry percy to the stand
00:51:51do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth i do
00:52:08captain percy you are prince edward's bodyguard are you not i am you go everywhere with him don't you
00:52:17do i do did you go with him to visit princess demon on the night of your soul i did
00:52:26captain percy did you witness prince edward physically attack princess demon that night
00:52:36i did
00:52:47i just don't understand why percy would lie yeah i know it sucks he was really hot i'm really not
00:52:56in the mood hen i'm sorry marie i don't know what you want me to say you mean percy clearly worship you
00:53:02guys i guess that human trash bag marcus probably got to him the same way he got to the judge
00:53:09huh what the bruises we know edward didn't give them to dima sure it was marcus yeah
00:53:17but we always assumed they were working together right but what if marcus was manipulating dima
00:53:24forcing her to blame her injuries on edward oh my god hen i could kiss you right now
00:53:32i need to go and speak to my fellow princess
00:53:35it's judgment day for prince edward and his bodyguard's demon testimony can prove the deciding
00:53:41factor in the judge verdict and here she comes princess erie just listen to those rules
00:53:50she's of course caught up in her own adult scandal and this could be as well a dark day for world couple
00:53:56dima
00:54:04what do you want it's not too late to stop this
00:54:08why would i want to do that well i believe it's prince marcus who's been hurting you and forced
00:54:14you to blame on edward we're facing at the beating or worse but it's okay you don't have to be scared
00:54:18you don't have to be scared anymore i can make you safe oh are you
00:54:24thank you
00:54:27thank you
00:54:31thank you
00:54:39it's the best joke i've ever heard
00:54:47you poor naive girl did you really think my brain dead fiance was behind all this
00:54:52i just made him believe it was all his idea our affair in the throne room bribing the judge i even
00:55:00had to force him to hit me he thinks this whole charade is about winning him the throne
00:55:09and what is it really about
00:55:13bringing down the piercements for generations they've looked down their noses at little athena
00:55:18we've been invaded and attacked too many times to count and yet my father sent me here to marry your
00:55:28loser prince so i decided to use marcus to divide the family bring them down from the inside
00:55:37i didn't factor you in of course but clearly i needn't have worried about edward's dollar store
00:55:42princess you'll soon be forgotten a side note in the downfall of the estrian
00:55:48royal family
00:55:51oh chop chop time to hear your husband's guilty verdict
00:55:55you won't get away with this oh darling i already have
00:56:01ah here they are
00:56:06princess dima did you know that this conversation with princess ari was recorded and live streamed on
00:56:12other social media what who's the naive one now
00:56:19you devious little bitch
00:56:21i learned from the best
00:56:26if you ever threaten my family again i will put you in a box smaller than the cell that you're headed for
00:56:33okay are you all right yes where's edward the judge has found him guilty
00:56:42wait i have new evidence that proves that prince edward is innocent
00:56:47i've already passed my judgment the prince is guilty as charged well your honor i also have evidence that you were bribed into making that verdict
00:56:57how dare you stop right there this sham is over
00:57:05you hold no authority here this is the crown court is it not
00:57:09i am the living embodiment of the crown and i revoke your spurious guilty verdict
00:57:16and i charge you prince marcus and princess dima with treason
00:57:21arrest them
00:57:30You saved me again.
00:57:46Looks like Prince Charming's not the only hero around here.
00:57:58Come.
00:58:00You want to see us, Father?
00:58:06I owe you an apology, Edward.
00:58:09You're never capable of such violence.
00:58:11You've always been a man of peace.
00:58:13And, Larry, you share the same compassion and charisma
00:58:17as Edward's mother had in spades.
00:58:20You'll make a great queen.
00:58:23Thank you, Father.
00:58:25Of course, we do still have to work on the decorum.
00:58:27How? We have plenty of time for that, Pops.
00:58:29Actually, the public are thirsty for new blood and, well, I'm ready for a rest.
00:58:38So I've decided to abdicate the throne to you two, young upstarts.
00:58:43Good luck.
00:58:43Your Royal Highness.
00:59:02We're going to New York, Percy, and we need protection.
00:59:06I might let you down.
00:59:07Forget about it.
00:59:09You were looking out for your family, and I get that.
00:59:12So shave that stubble, soldier.
00:59:14We got a plane to catch.
00:59:17Yes, ma'am.
00:59:24Good morning.
00:59:24We're very happy to...
00:59:26Sorry.
00:59:29We're very happy to welcome you all here today.
00:59:32As you know, my sister recently beat cancer.
00:59:38It was a hard battle, and to pay for it, I became a princess.
00:59:43But that's not really an option for most people.
00:59:46So, that's why we've opened Henley's House, a place where cancer patients can get free support throughout their treatment.
00:59:58So, um, please welcome the woman of the hour, Henley Douglas.
01:00:02I now declare Henley's House open!
01:00:15Well, I can't believe you made yourself first patient of Henley's House.
01:00:18Oh, God.
01:00:20I can't go through this again.
01:00:22Quit your bellyaching, Mom.
01:00:24Not every bellyache is a tumor.
01:00:25Do you ever feel like you liked her better when she was in a coma?
01:00:28Well, something did come up on the test results, folks.
01:00:35It's cancer.
01:00:36We cursed.
01:00:38No, it's not cancer.
01:00:39Kidney stones.
01:00:41Liver disease.
01:00:42What?
01:00:42You're having a royal baby, Ari.
01:00:45Oh, my goodness.
01:00:46Oh, my goodness.
01:00:58Our lives are about to change forever.
01:01:04In more ways than you know.
01:01:14I love you.
01:01:15I love you, too.
01:01:16I love you, too.
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