- 2 weeks ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:30Oh, Dad.
00:00:40Hello?
00:00:42Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:45I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:49So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:54Sue, I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:59I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:02I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:01:05You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:07What?
00:01:08But you can't.
00:01:10I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:13Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:15You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:16This is bad.
00:01:20You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:22She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:33So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:52Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:55But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:59I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:02:03But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:07So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:10Mushrooms?
00:02:11No, not like that.
00:02:12Like something nice.
00:02:14Like maybe a trip.
00:02:16Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:18No.
00:02:21Sorry, Sue.
00:02:22I have a date.
00:02:23Oh, so do I.
00:02:26Sorry, Sue.
00:02:27Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:28We'll figure it out.
00:02:42Oh, flowers.
00:02:43Are these from you?
00:02:44Yeah, sure.
00:02:46Here you go.
00:02:49No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:51I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:54I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:03:01Oh, Jake.
00:03:06Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:03:08Uh, no, Jake.
00:03:10Not yet.
00:03:11When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:14The best night of my life.
00:03:16It will be.
00:03:16I promise.
00:03:18It'll always be amazing.
00:03:19With you.
00:03:20And me.
00:03:22Together.
00:03:22Jake, no, I have to go.
00:03:32I have to work on my art project.
00:03:35You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective, but I guess I should have
00:03:40taken more math.
00:03:42Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:45This Saturday?
00:03:47Of course.
00:03:47Thanks.
00:03:54Okay.
00:03:55Bye.
00:04:05Nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:04:07Oh, baby.
00:04:09You're so hot.
00:04:10I'm going to do you so good.
00:04:11Oh, yeah, baby.
00:04:13Yeah.
00:04:13What was your name again?
00:04:14Rod.
00:04:16Sex guy.
00:04:16Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:26You're right, I bet.
00:04:34Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:38Oh, no.
00:04:39It does not compute.
00:04:41Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:44Oh, huh.
00:04:49Hi.
00:04:51When did you get home?
00:04:52So is it true?
00:04:54Yes, it is.
00:04:56It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:59I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy, and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:05:08So I just think it's the right time.
00:05:12Lexi, tell her.
00:05:13Losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:05:17On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:05:19Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday, or maybe even like our 29th, 8th, maybe.
00:05:28Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:36I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:39But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:48We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:52Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle bit?
00:05:56It's not Jake.
00:05:58It's the male ideal.
00:06:00Like a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:06:05Right.
00:06:05Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:06:09I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:06:10I'm not really an artist.
00:06:12Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:06:14The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:06:18And I'm just not ready yet.
00:06:21I'm waiting for a sign.
00:06:23And then I'll know it's right.
00:06:24Look, I can go either way.
00:06:27I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:31I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:34Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:39But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:44You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:52Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:55To church to pray for you.
00:06:57I want to be first in line.
00:07:00I'm getting Susan.
00:07:02Yeah, me too.
00:07:02Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:07:14It has been four days since my last confession.
00:07:17I accused myself of the following sins.
00:07:19Mm-hmm.
00:07:22Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:07:26It's about sex.
00:07:28Mm-hmm.
00:07:29I mean, not me.
00:07:32I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:07:35Aw.
00:07:37I've never even seen a guy as...
00:07:39Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:42But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:47But there was nothing there.
00:07:48Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:53My best friends.
00:07:56They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:58Okay.
00:08:00Third base.
00:08:02What?
00:08:03No.
00:08:04Like, sex.
00:08:05Like, intercourse?
00:08:07With boys, they barely even know.
00:08:09I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:08:10If you know what I mean.
00:08:11All the way.
00:08:13Go all the way.
00:08:16Woody?
00:08:19Ah!
00:08:20Ah!
00:08:21How could you do so?
00:08:24You're a bad, bad person.
00:08:28What?
00:08:34Yes.
00:08:36Yes!
00:08:37Run!
00:08:38Run!
00:08:38Home route!
00:08:40God damn it!
00:08:44Fuck you Yankees!
00:08:48Sorry.
00:08:49Sorry.
00:08:49Sorry.
00:09:10Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:09:16Would you have a little consideration?
00:09:18I'm trying to sleep.
00:09:20Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:09:24I have an announcement to make.
00:09:26I want to do it.
00:09:28Do you hear me?
00:09:29I want to do it.
00:09:32This weekend, on our birthday.
00:09:35Do what?
00:09:38It.
00:09:39Screw.
00:09:40You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:09:44You know, shagging, fucking.
00:09:48You do.
00:09:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:56Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:09:58Really?
00:10:00Well, okay, great.
00:10:03We're all in then.
00:10:05So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:10:08Right?
00:10:10Right.
00:10:13I'll start making the shopping list.
00:10:23Hey, Frank!
00:10:26Hi, Sue.
00:10:26Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:10:31I don't know.
00:10:31Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:10:33Yeah, he's blind.
00:10:35Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:10:42Wait, wait, bye.
00:10:44Hey.
00:10:45Hey.
00:10:45Um, I was wondering.
00:10:47We're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:10:49It's for our birthdays.
00:10:51Do you want to come?
00:10:52Do you think he can see at my shorts?
00:10:53Do you think he can see at my shorts?
00:10:54Do you think he can see at my shorts?
00:10:57Well, the house looks done.
00:11:10Tomorrow's the big day.
00:11:12We finally turn 18.
00:11:13And finally lose our virginity.
00:11:16Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:11:19So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake, and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:11:26But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:11:27To pop your chair.
00:11:29It's easy.
00:11:30I've known for the past six years, ever since catty kissing.
00:11:36What the fuck is catty kissing?
00:11:38I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:11:40Yeah.
00:11:40My soulmate.
00:11:54Chris?
00:11:55Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:12:00I mean...
00:12:01What?
00:12:01No, Chris is perfect.
00:12:03He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:12:06Plus, his name's Chris.
00:12:08It's a sign.
00:12:08Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:12:15What?
00:12:16He does not.
00:12:17Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:12:19He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:12:22With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:12:26Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:12:29Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:12:32Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:12:35See you in the morning.
00:12:38I knew it would happen someday.
00:12:45I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:12:48I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:48I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:48I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:49I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:50I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:50I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:51I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:52I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:53I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:54I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:54I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:55I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:56I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:56I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:57I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:57I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:58I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:58I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:59I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:12:59I just didn't expect it to happen.
00:13:00You're so perfect.
00:13:30I knew that's what I look like.
00:13:59Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:14:27Tomorrow's the day.
00:14:39Tomorrow's the day.
00:14:51Oh my gosh.
00:15:01They're coming.
00:15:03Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:15:09Ew, why?
00:15:11It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:15:13It's gonna be really sexy.
00:15:15You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:15:18He's gonna be really sexy.
00:15:20It's stupid.
00:15:21Just screw him.
00:15:22That's what he wants.
00:15:23That's what all guys want.
00:15:24Who hurt you as a child?
00:15:26Oh, Christ.
00:15:27And I have your mouth too.
00:15:29Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy, not someone they can just have sex with.
00:15:35You're an idiot.
00:15:36A very smooth, plastic wrapped idiot.
00:15:41Guys, seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:15:45Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:15:52I love it.
00:15:54Um, you should put that down though because it's like, it's really-
00:15:57Very fragile.
00:15:58Yeah.
00:15:59Okay.
00:16:00Set it down.
00:16:01Hurry up.
00:16:02Okay.
00:16:03Those are your anal beads, right?
00:16:05Yeah.
00:16:06Yeah.
00:16:07I thought so.
00:16:08Mmm.
00:16:29Whoa!
00:16:30Whoa!
00:16:31Hold up.
00:16:33Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:16:35Oh, a tack of the wet t-shirts.
00:16:37Nice!
00:16:48Happy birthday, Lex.
00:16:50Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:16:54That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:16:58And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:17:02Oh, how did you know?
00:17:03I mean, I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:17:12Poster, such a beauty.
00:17:15Please don't touch my service time.
00:17:17Alright, sorry.
00:17:18Are you okay now?
00:17:19Yeah, I'm fine.
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:22See you later.
00:17:23I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:17:24This is crazy.
00:17:25Jake!
00:17:26Hi!
00:17:27Hey, Ben.
00:17:28Happy birthday.
00:17:29Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:30What?
00:17:31You want a beer?
00:17:32No.
00:17:33Oh, hon.
00:17:34Come here.
00:17:35I have your present here.
00:17:36I'll give it to you later.
00:17:37The time's right.
00:17:38Oh.
00:17:39You didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:40And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:17:45Hey, bro.
00:17:46We need you to settle this bed over here real quick.
00:17:47Oh, I bet.
00:17:48Oh, hey.
00:17:49Oh, okay.
00:17:50Oh, honey, honey.
00:17:51Oh, honey.
00:17:52Oh.
00:17:53What?
00:17:54Oh, honey?
00:17:55Oh, honey.
00:17:56Come here.
00:17:57Oh, honey.
00:17:58Come here.
00:17:59Oh, honey.
00:18:00Oh, honey, come here.
00:18:01I have your present here.
00:18:02I'll give it to you later, when the time's right.
00:18:03Oh, honey.
00:18:04You didn't have to give me anything.
00:18:05You didn't have to give me anything.
00:18:06And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:18:08Hey, bro.
00:18:10We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:18:11Oh, I bet.
00:18:14All right, this is my man right here.
00:18:19Hey.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:21How you doing?
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:32Check it out!
00:18:35Dare me?
00:18:44Oh, dude, look at those.
00:18:55Are those real?
00:18:56Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:18:57Hey!
00:18:58Ah!
00:18:59Dude, move!
00:19:00Come on, lame!
00:19:01Oh, all right, okay.
00:19:03I'll see you guys later.
00:19:04Go do some push-ups or something.
00:19:06Aw, the moves.
00:19:0720 bucks says, by the end of the day,
00:19:09I will be motorboating those titties.
00:19:11Yeah!
00:19:13They're fake anyways.
00:19:14Who cares?
00:19:15Okay!
00:19:16Who cares?
00:19:17Oh, dude, dude!
00:19:18I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:19:20Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:19:21Here, let me.
00:19:22Joanna, no.
00:19:23Just go enjoy the party.
00:19:24Come on.
00:19:25Open.
00:19:26Hey.
00:19:27Do my lips look any plumper?
00:19:28I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel it.
00:19:30I can't really feel it.
00:19:31I can't.
00:19:32I can't.
00:19:33I can't.
00:19:34I can't.
00:19:35Hey.
00:19:36Do my lips look any plumper?
00:19:37I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel it.
00:19:38I can't.
00:19:39I can't.
00:19:40I can't.
00:19:41I can't.
00:19:42I can't.
00:19:43I can't.
00:19:44I can't really feel anything yet.
00:19:45Have you guys seen Jake?
00:19:46I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:19:47It just, like, disappeared.
00:19:49Are these real?
00:19:50Of course they are.
00:19:51I just wonder.
00:19:52How come I could have met you before?
00:19:54I don't know.
00:19:55Maybe he's just gonna be around.
00:19:56Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:19:57Um, I think he's around or something.
00:19:58Maybe upstairs.
00:19:59I don't know.
00:20:00I don't know.
00:20:01I don't know.
00:20:02I don't know.
00:20:03I don't know.
00:20:04Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:20:05That's probably where he went.
00:20:06Liquid courage?
00:20:07Yeah.
00:20:08Atta girl.
00:20:09Vodka cranberry?
00:20:10It's really simple.
00:20:11I don't know.
00:20:12I don't know.
00:20:13Maybe he's just gonna be around.
00:20:14Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:20:15Um, I think he's around or something.
00:20:17Maybe upstairs.
00:20:18I don't know.
00:20:19Oh.
00:20:20Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:20:22That's probably where he went.
00:20:24Go roll.
00:20:26I don't know.
00:20:27There's nothing.
00:20:28I don't know.
00:20:29You're gonna be around.
00:20:30We'll just, like, do a hug.
00:20:31Yeah.
00:20:32I don't know.
00:20:33Okay.
00:20:34Liquid courage?
00:20:35Yeah.
00:20:36Atta girl.
00:20:37Vodka cranberry?
00:20:38She's really simple.
00:20:39Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:20:41I can go meet with our boss.
00:20:43Sue?
00:20:44Are you okay?
00:20:46Sue?
00:20:48Relax.
00:20:49They're just guys.
00:20:51Okay.
00:20:52Nothing to be scared of.
00:20:53Seriously.
00:20:54You're gonna be fine.
00:20:55Is Chris here?
00:21:01Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it? No, he does not have gatefeats. I'm gonna prove it to you. I'm gonna do it.
00:21:16Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it? No, he does not have gatefeats. I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:21:23I know. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do this. Good luck.
00:21:30Hey, you can do this. Just act like a slut.
00:21:37Just pretend you're lucky.
00:21:47Yeah, my favorite chapter is Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:21:51Chris, hi. Can I talk to you?
00:21:57In private?
00:21:59Oh.
00:22:00Oh, hey, Lexi. Hey, Lexi.
00:22:16What?
00:22:17Chris, you're so sexy. Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just... I've known that we were meant to be together. And I really want to...
00:22:32Oh, what are you doing?
00:22:34Is that wrong?
00:22:35Sue! What's gotten into you?
00:22:37Nothing. I'm... I'm sorry. I... I don't know how to do this.
00:22:41Sue...
00:22:43Sue... Sue... Sue... Sue...
00:22:47I understand these... urges. And, you know, I like you too.
00:22:55I do.
00:22:56Really? You do?
00:22:57I do. I really do.
00:23:01I like you too.
00:23:02Really? You do?
00:23:04I do. I really do. It's just...
00:23:09I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:23:15Right.
00:23:16Lexi said you were...
00:23:17Jesus.
00:23:18Oh.
00:23:19That man.
00:23:20Of course.
00:23:22What did you think?
00:23:23Oh, nothing.
00:23:25So we can still do this then?
00:23:28Oh, Sue...
00:23:30You know...
00:23:32For me...
00:23:34When I think about that man...
00:23:37Who died for our sins...
00:23:40When I think about him...
00:23:42Up there on that cross...
00:23:44So helpless.
00:23:45Yet so...
00:23:47Muscular.
00:23:49With his strong...
00:23:51Thighs...
00:23:53Crossed over each other...
00:23:55So...
00:23:56Delicately.
00:23:57Beneath that...
00:23:58Ragged...
00:23:59Loin cloth.
00:24:01Growing so hot.
00:24:03So sweaty.
00:24:05Under that hot...
00:24:07Hot sun.
00:24:09I just feel such...
00:24:11Compassion.
00:24:13I think about those things too.
00:24:15So you understand...
00:24:16Why I...
00:24:17Can't do this.
00:24:19Not really.
00:24:21I just find it too hard...
00:24:23It is...
00:24:24To...
00:24:25Give in to carnal...
00:24:26Pleasure when...
00:24:28He sacrificed so much for us.
00:24:31So...
00:24:32No!
00:24:35No!
00:24:44We're gonna go out there right?
00:24:45Andy...
00:24:46We're gonna tell him throw these on...
00:24:48Whoa!
00:24:50Have you seen Jake?
00:24:52No.
00:24:53No.
00:24:54Okay, all right, focus, focus, focus.
00:25:06Oh, there he is.
00:25:10Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:25:24How could he?
00:25:32Sue, what happened? Did you guys do it?
00:25:36Sue?
00:25:38He doesn't want me.
00:25:40Because he's gay.
00:25:41No, he's not. He just really loves Jesus.
00:25:45Oh, come on, Sue. The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:25:51Look, the only way you are going to find out what kind of man you really want is to know what kind of woman you really are.
00:26:01Deep inside.
00:26:03What?
00:26:04Come with me.
00:26:05Where?
00:26:06To meet your dark side.
00:26:15Out. Everyone out.
00:26:21Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:26:33I really can't. I really don't think I can do this.
00:26:48I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:54I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:27:00Sue?
00:27:01Can you see it?
00:27:04Ew.
00:27:08I'm almost...
00:27:10I'm almost there.
00:27:15Oh!
00:27:17What?
00:27:19What?
00:27:20Sue, what happened? What did you see?
00:27:22A raccoon?
00:27:24What?
00:27:26You overshot it. Aim the mirror further up.
00:27:29I can't. Please don't make me do that again.
00:27:39Okay, fine. Fine. I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:27:45What?
00:27:46You really need an orgasm.
00:27:49Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:27:55This really has to be your first step.
00:27:56Lex, I'm waiting.
00:27:58Coming.
00:28:00Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer. Just find it and use it.
00:28:05Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:28:08It's black. It vibrates.
00:28:10Come on, Rod. Let's go to Sue's room.
00:28:16And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:28:20Hey, cutie! Cutie!
00:28:39Boozeye!
00:28:40Oh, yeah!
00:28:46Bang! Bang! Bang!
00:28:51Good boy. Straighten up.
00:28:53Good boy. Good boy.
00:28:56He knows over a hundred commands.
00:28:59I'm sorry, I can't see anything.
00:29:02That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:29:04What a bitch.
00:29:06Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:29:09Ah!
00:29:15Ah!
00:29:16Ah!
00:29:18Ah!
00:29:20Ah!
00:29:28Ah!
00:29:29Ah!
00:29:30Ah!
00:29:31Ah!
00:29:33Ah!
00:29:35Ah!
00:29:40Oh, shit!
00:29:42What's wrong with this thing?
00:29:47Ah!
00:29:49Ah!
00:29:51Ah!
00:29:53Ah!
00:29:54Ah-
00:29:58Ah!
00:30:00Ah!
00:30:01Ah!
00:30:02Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:30:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:30:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:30:15For sure?
00:30:17I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him,
00:30:19so maybe it's my fault.
00:30:21That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:30:25No, it's awful.
00:30:27I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:30:32It's a text. It's from him. I can't bear myself to read it.
00:30:39Okay. He's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:30:45Oh, I can't face him. I have to go. I'm going.
00:30:48No, you can't just leave.
00:30:51Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:30:54I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:30:56I don't know. He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:31:00Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.
00:31:05I'm leaving.
00:31:06Revenge sex.
00:31:08Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:10It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:17Revenge sex.
00:31:19Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:21It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:25But he- I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care about me.
00:31:30I mean, why would- He's just into other girls.
00:31:33Trust me, he'll care.
00:31:35Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him.
00:31:38To his ego.
00:31:40Just screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him.
00:31:43Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:31:50No, I- I couldn't.
00:31:52Plus, I mean, there's- there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:31:56Eric! He's perfect!
00:31:58Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:32:01I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:32:05Really?
00:32:05And what type is that?
00:32:07Sweaty.
00:32:07Yeah.
00:32:10Trust me, he's amazing.
00:32:12I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue ring.
00:32:15Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:32:19Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else.
00:32:23Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:32:29Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him?
00:32:32I mean, it's- you're not gonna marry the guy.
00:32:35No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:36Fine.
00:32:38If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:32:42to make your boyfriend feel like a total, worthless piece of garbage,
00:32:46and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:32:49and you chose not to do it,
00:32:51go ahead.
00:32:52But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:56I don't know.
00:33:00But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:33:04I don't know.
00:33:05Well, trust me.
00:33:07It's going to work.
00:33:14I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:33:18Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:19Okay, let's just chat with her.
00:33:21Oh, no.
00:33:22Oh, no.
00:33:34Hey.
00:33:36Happy birthday.
00:33:39Thanks.
00:33:40Have you guys seen Jake?
00:34:05So, happy birthday.
00:34:13Happy birthday.
00:34:14Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:34:21But it's actually from us.
00:34:22U.S.
00:34:24America?
00:34:26United States?
00:34:27I know where we live.
00:34:30Right.
00:34:31Of course.
00:34:35I know where we live.
00:34:37Right.
00:34:38Of course.
00:34:43Hey, Jesus, Eric, are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:46Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:47Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:34:49Do I just...
00:34:50No, you're fine.
00:35:04Jake!
00:35:07So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:35:10Oh, I'm sorry.
00:35:12It?
00:35:13What, um...
00:35:15It.
00:35:15Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:35:22Oh!
00:35:23Oh, you mean, like, uh, right now?
00:35:28I mean, well, yeah.
00:35:30You know, the sooner the better.
00:35:34Yeah, sure.
00:35:35I mean, yeah, of course.
00:35:36Um, I just never realized that you, I mean, whew, uh, it's just, you're so, you're so beautiful.
00:35:52Okay, um, no cuisine.
00:35:57Right, um, of course.
00:36:00Sorry.
00:36:03So, um,
00:36:04Do you want to unwrap me?
00:36:09Oh, wow.
00:36:10Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:36:15Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:17You, uh, you're fresh.
00:36:21Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:24You, uh, you're fresh.
00:36:26Organic.
00:36:28Yep.
00:36:31So, the wrap.
00:36:32Right.
00:36:32Um, well, where's the, uh...
00:36:37It's, uh, the end is, the edge is, like, right over here.
00:36:39Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:36:40Yeah.
00:36:41That's where I see it.
00:36:42Um, let me just, uh...
00:36:43Ow, ow, ow.
00:36:47Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:36:48I, um...
00:36:49It's, it's okay.
00:36:50Here, do it again.
00:36:53Sorry, I, uh, I, uh, I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:36:57You know what?
00:36:57Let me just lay on the bed.
00:36:59Okay.
00:37:06Uh, let me just see.
00:37:10Oh, here it is.
00:37:11I got it.
00:37:12All right.
00:37:12Just, um, pull it.
00:37:14Let me just...
00:37:15Oh, jeez.
00:37:19Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:37:21Oh, jeez.
00:37:31Oh, jeez.
00:37:38Well, that was stupid.
00:37:39Yeah.
00:37:46How you doing tonight?
00:37:49Good.
00:37:50You having a good time?
00:37:51Yeah?
00:37:52Good?
00:37:52Jake!
00:37:53I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:37:56What?
00:37:57I can't hear you.
00:38:00I didn't have a beer.
00:38:02Chips are so damn salty.
00:38:03Jake!
00:38:04Sorry, we're...
00:38:05Upstairs.
00:38:06Yeah.
00:38:06Hold on.
00:38:08Take a piss.
00:38:10How much beer?
00:38:11Uh, uh...
00:38:12Yeah.
00:38:12Uh, uh, uh...
00:38:14Uh, uh, uh...
00:38:14Uh, uh, uh...
00:38:15Uh, uh, uh...
00:38:17Uh, uh, uh, uh...
00:38:20Uh, uh, uh...
00:38:22Uh, uh, uh...
00:38:24Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh...
00:38:27Ahhhh.
00:38:29Ahhhh.
00:38:31Ahhhh.
00:38:33Ahhhh.
00:38:41Finally.
00:38:43I uh...
00:38:45I meant you to get the blinds.
00:38:47Oh no no no no no no no no.
00:38:49Don't worry about it.
00:38:51What?
00:38:53I mean I want us to be able to see each other.
00:38:55Oh.
00:38:57Well okay.
00:38:59Okay.
00:39:15Finally.
00:39:17I uh...
00:39:19I meant you to get the blinds.
00:39:21Oh no no no no no no no no no.
00:39:23Don't worry about it.
00:39:25What?
00:39:26I mean I want us to be able to see each other.
00:39:29Uh oh.
00:39:31Well okay.
00:39:33Okay.
00:39:35What?
00:39:37There you go.
00:39:39Let's see.
00:39:41Oh
00:40:11What are you doing I think it's time you know to
00:40:32Do it
00:40:35Not yet more foreplay, huh?
00:40:41Oh
00:40:44So good
00:40:46Oh
00:40:48Yep
00:40:49Oh my god
00:40:51Jaw, jaw, jaw
00:40:53What, what, what?
00:40:55Ah, ah, oh
00:40:56Ah, dear
00:40:58Lock jaw, lock jaw
00:41:00Is that even a thing?
00:41:02I don't know
00:41:04Ah
00:41:06Are you okay?
00:41:08No, no, no, no, no, it's, uh, it's fine, I'm just, uh, I'm embarrassed, I, it's probably TMJ or fracture, swollen
00:41:23You sure you're okay?
00:41:25Yeah, yeah, I'm fine
00:41:27Okay, great, have fun
00:41:28Oh
00:41:35Now, now, let's do it now
00:41:37No, not yet, not yet
00:41:41Alright, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come, are you ready?
00:41:43No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:42:13Oh, hey, Jake.
00:42:19How you doing?
00:42:21How's it going?
00:42:22Good.
00:42:23Eric?
00:42:24Come.
00:42:25Eric, help me.
00:42:26I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:42:29Excuse me.
00:42:34Cheryl's in here.
00:42:40Sup, bruh?
00:42:42What the fuck is...
00:42:45Hey, wait!
00:42:48Lex.
00:42:49Still waiting.
00:42:57Oh, I'm sorry. I can't see. I'm blind.
00:43:02Damn it.
00:43:03I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch.
00:43:06Hey, you.
00:43:08You better stop making fun of the blind
00:43:10or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:43:15I'm so sorry.
00:43:16I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:43:18I'm so sorry.
00:43:19I'm so sorry.
00:43:20I'm so sorry.
00:43:21I'm gonna do it again.
00:43:22Woo!
00:43:23Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:43:47This party's ass.
00:43:49Yeah!
00:43:56This just isn't working.
00:44:00Nothing.
00:44:01What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:44:04Lock your character, man, the lock sticks.
00:44:09Spark it up!
00:44:11Yes!
00:44:14Oh, man!
00:44:16I love this game!
00:44:18Controllers, we gotta play.
00:44:19Here, here, here, here.
00:44:20Okay, let me find another one.
00:44:21All right, watch on.
00:44:24Whoo!
00:44:26Look at this!
00:44:28Oh, my God!
00:44:30Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:44:32Get that thing away!
00:44:33Jesus!
00:44:34Oh!
00:44:39Oh!
00:44:42Hey, dude, nice shot!
00:44:45Wasn't me!
00:44:51Whoa!
00:44:52Whoa!
00:44:53Nice!
00:44:54Are you sitting there or something?
00:44:56Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:44:59Nice!
00:45:00Nice!
00:45:01Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:15Whoa!
00:45:16Whoa!
00:45:19You are the controller!
00:45:21No!
00:45:22I just...
00:45:23I didn't...
00:45:25I swear, I...
00:45:26Whoa!
00:45:28You are the controller.
00:45:31No, I just...
00:45:33I didn't, I swear, I...
00:45:46All right. Don't leave.
00:45:48Hey, hey, Sue.
00:45:50Where are you going, man?
00:45:52It's okay, um...
00:45:54Hey, Sue.
00:46:07Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:46:09Yeah, I just needed to, um...
00:46:12Oh, sure.
00:46:14Listen, Sue, I...
00:46:17I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:46:20You were?
00:46:22You mean...
00:46:24Y-yeah.
00:46:28So you think we should give it a try?
00:46:32Could we go get a drink?
00:46:37Wow, um, your toilet's really...
00:46:40Oh, you...
00:46:42You know what? I gotta go.
00:46:44Um, happy birthday.
00:46:45Happy birthday.
00:46:46Uh, no, Chris!
00:46:47No, there wasn't...
00:46:48I didn't...
00:46:49Oh, God, never mind.
00:47:04This was the worst idea ever.
00:47:06Never going to have sex.
00:47:08Ow.
00:47:09Hello? A little attention here.
00:47:16Oh, yeah.
00:47:17Sorry.
00:47:18Oh, yeah.
00:47:19Sorry.
00:47:20Oh, yeah.
00:47:21Sorry.
00:47:22Oh, yeah.
00:47:23Oh, yeah.
00:47:24Sorry.
00:47:25Oh, yeah.
00:47:26Don't be selfish.
00:47:27Oh, no, yeah.
00:47:28Oh, no, no, no.
00:47:29Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:47:30Hello?
00:47:31A little attention here.
00:47:33Oh, yeah.
00:47:34Sorry.
00:47:39Lex, don't be selfish.
00:47:43Oh, right.
00:47:44Sorry.
00:47:45Sorry
00:48:00Geez who invented this stupid position anyway too much fucking multitasking
00:48:08screw it
00:48:15I
00:48:45That's bad so bad
00:49:11Joanna do you know a guy named JJ?
00:49:15I think that guy's name starts with a J
00:49:22Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:49:27Yes, it does
00:49:29So you're JJ?
00:49:45Hello welcome
00:49:48To the
00:49:48To the
00:49:49I
00:49:52Know
00:49:53Hello welcome to 1900 confess. Would you like a priest or a nun today a nun, please punch in your credit card number?
00:50:04number one nine hundred confession how may I be of service it's been one day
00:50:20since my last confession I accused myself of the following sins one day
00:50:27I would have come this morning but it's my 18th birthday go on okay well I've been touching
00:50:42myself inappropriately well actually what's your problem a washing machine touched her
00:50:50well you know I sat on a washing machine and well all right freak time's up what but what do I do
00:50:59just unplug the thing no but but I think I might have had an orgasm well then be happy you found
00:51:08the perfect man I'm serious look honey you seem like a nice young lady so I'll tell you this
00:51:16masturbation isn't a sin no conditions you broke no covenant with God it's not in the Bible so the
00:51:27washing machine could touch me anytime morning afternoon night yes and other things can touch
00:51:35you accidental masturbation is not a sin neither is intentional masturbation huh God's pretty cool
00:51:44that way he sure is now run along wow how do you know all that because I'm a nun now eat my pussy
00:51:58bitch huh accidental masturbation who'da think
00:52:03revenge sex with a stupid fucking idiot oh god I'm getting out of here
00:52:18fucking douchebag damn it I know I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do you go girl
00:52:39what what are you doing here we needed someplace private but hey listen if you're serious about
00:52:50getting laid yeah if you want someone great I mean really the best ever no offense Frank the blind guy
00:53:01really I'm telling you he's amazing I had food sex with him a few weeks ago it was like nothing I've ever
00:53:11experienced before it was like we used all our senses everything if you're interested I'll set it up
00:53:22all right what about him Jeremy oh yeah I know Jeremy hey I think I fooled around with him once I didn't know his last name though
00:53:39it's Jones Jeremy Jones this all makes sense excuse me Jeremy hi
00:53:51hey who's on the phone oh that's my new girlfriend you'll meet her could be here in like an hour
00:53:58wait you have a girlfriend
00:54:00oh hey Frank sit
00:54:18oh you meant you meant the dog
00:54:25relax you need to relax and calm down
00:54:31oh I'm I'm relaxed I'm fine
00:54:44why are you biting you now I'm not how did you know that
00:54:52corner
00:54:56sit
00:55:00roll over
00:55:03oh you mean me
00:55:07roll over
00:55:11oh you mean me oh how do you how do you want me to just say no it
00:55:21oh
00:55:22oh
00:55:33oh
00:55:33oh
00:55:33oh
00:55:34I shouldn't even be doing this but considering it a teachable moment
00:55:38okay
00:55:40oh
00:55:42see me with your hands
00:55:52all right
00:56:01you know I should really I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this
00:56:05really
00:56:19mmm peanut butter
00:56:30frank frank frank
00:56:41frank frank
00:57:00You know, ma'am?
00:57:11Dude, give me a chair.
00:57:13My chips, old boy.
00:57:14Dude, give me a chair, ma'am.
00:57:16My chips.
00:57:17Dude, my chips.
00:57:18Dude, give me a chair.
00:57:20My chips.
00:57:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:57:26Sorry.
00:57:30It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:57:38That's all.
00:57:43No, let me do this.
00:57:44Go away.
00:57:45I got it.
00:57:46I got it.
00:57:46No, really, please.
00:57:47I want to help.
00:57:51Okay, everybody out.
00:57:54Leave, I have to back, please.
00:58:00You're not even getting the chips.
00:58:12They're over here.
00:58:14I see some dust over here, so...
00:58:19It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:58:24It's dirty floor.
00:58:26Such a...
00:58:27Dirty...
00:58:29Dirty floor.
00:58:47Okay.
00:58:50I think I got all that, I'm just gonna, I'll see how, oh.
00:59:08Frankie, oh my, oh.
00:59:11What was that?
00:59:12What?
00:59:13Ah, fucking shit.
00:59:15Man, we gotta smoke.
00:59:17Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:59:20Stop.
00:59:22Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:59:24Oh, shitbox.
00:59:26Sorry man, we're just looking for a place to finish this roach.
00:59:29Oh, I heard something.
00:59:31You wanna join us?
00:59:33Come on, you gotta do it, come on.
00:59:36Seriously guys, I need to do it.
00:59:38What's it like being blinded? It's trippy.
00:59:45Frank?
00:59:47Frank, are we gonna do something soon?
00:59:50Bro, you are too funny.
00:59:55Thanks man.
00:59:57Ooh, this is some good stuff.
00:59:59I haven't smoked since junior high.
01:00:01Dude, I didn't stop smoking since junior high.
01:00:04Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:05I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
01:00:10Damn, I really can't remember, this is some good shit.
01:00:13Oh no.
01:00:14You're the devil.
01:00:15No more.
01:00:16JJ, I'm Jeremy.
01:00:18You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:00:33Please.
01:00:34Lex, I can't.
01:00:35I mean, I got a girlfriend. I really like this girl.
01:00:36Fine.
01:00:38It's just so sad, because I'm wearing this coupless bra, and I also have on crotchless panties.
01:00:39With just a little string of pearl in front for everyone.
01:00:40It's just so sad, because I'm wearing this coupless bra, and I also have on crotchless panties.
01:00:44With just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
01:00:46Oh.
01:00:47Oh.
01:00:48Oh.
01:00:49Oh.
01:00:50Oh.
01:00:51Oh.
01:00:52Oh.
01:00:53Oh.
01:00:54Oh.
01:00:55Oh.
01:00:56Oh.
01:00:57Oh.
01:00:58Oh.
01:00:59Oh.
01:01:00Oh.
01:01:01Oh.
01:01:02Oh.
01:01:03Oh.
01:01:04Oh.
01:01:05Oh.
01:01:06Oh.
01:01:07Oh.
01:01:08Oh.
01:01:09Oh.
01:01:10Oh.
01:01:11Oh.
01:01:12Oh.
01:01:13Oh.
01:01:14Oh.
01:01:15Oh.
01:01:16Oh.
01:01:17Oh.
01:01:18Oh.
01:01:19Oh.
01:01:20Oh.
01:01:21Oh.
01:01:22Oh.
01:01:23Oh.
01:01:24Oh.
01:01:25Oh.
01:01:26Oh.
01:01:27Oh.
01:01:28Oh.
01:01:29Oh.
01:01:30Oh.
01:01:31Oh.
01:01:32Oh.
01:01:33Oh.
01:01:34Oh.
01:01:35Oh.
01:01:36Oh.
01:01:37Oh.
01:01:38Oh.
01:01:39Oh.
01:01:40Oh.
01:01:41Oh.
01:01:42What? What's wrong?
01:01:49I can't. I can't get it in.
01:01:52Just try down there. It's a desert down there.
01:01:55It's sandpaper.
01:01:57Okay, I get the picture.
01:02:00Just try it again.
01:02:03No. Why is this happening?
01:02:06We fooled around before.
01:02:08I was dripping wet. I came like four times, remember?
01:02:11Just do what you did then. Go on.
01:02:14I already did my thing. I already tried.
01:02:17What? What is different this time?
01:02:21I don't know.
01:02:23Last time...
01:02:25I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
01:02:30What?
01:02:32You're not JJ?
01:02:34But your name is Jeremy Jones. How can you not be JJ?
01:02:38Who the hell is this JJ?
01:02:41Oh, where are you going?
01:02:43We're not done here.
01:02:44I can still do this. I just need a little bit of work.
01:02:47I can do this.
01:02:48I don't need JJ. I don't need anyone else.
01:02:52We can do this.
01:02:54Go team.
01:02:59What? Just keep going.
01:03:05Jeremy, are you...
01:03:07Oh, shit.
01:03:19Where's Jeremy?
01:03:20What?
01:03:21We were just, you know...
01:03:23Hey, babe.
01:03:26Just working out.
01:03:27Oh.
01:03:27How could you, you bastard?
01:03:37You might want to...
01:03:39What?
01:03:41What?
01:03:44Ah!
01:03:46Mariela!
01:03:48Mariela!
01:03:49You know, those aren't mine.
01:03:51At least not all of them.
01:03:52What is wrong with you?
01:04:00What is wrong with you?
01:04:03It used to be so pure.
01:04:06Well, no more.
01:04:07That's it.
01:04:08Really, that's the last one.
01:04:09What?
01:04:22Oh, my God.
01:04:33I don't know.
01:04:33Oh, my God.
01:04:35Oh, my God.
01:04:35What?
01:04:36Oh, my God.
01:04:37Cheryl?
01:04:42Cheryl?
01:04:47What is it?
01:04:48What are you doing down here?
01:04:50Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:04:55What?
01:04:56Why?
01:04:57Nothing, just this blind guy and his dog and...
01:05:01Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:05:05No, it's not okay.
01:05:08God.
01:05:09And you know whose fault it is?
01:05:11I'm sorry.
01:05:12It's Jake's.
01:05:13Jake's fault.
01:05:14That blind, cheating bastard.
01:05:17Yes.
01:05:18He's such a dickwad, you need to confront him.
01:05:21Yeah.
01:05:22Yeah, I need to confront him.
01:05:24I mean, it's my birthday, and where is he anyway?
01:05:28Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:05:30You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:05:33Yeah, a big piece, a big old chunk of my mind, a big piece of it.
01:05:38Yeah.
01:05:39You know, you might wanna...
01:05:42You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:05:45Yeah, you're right.
01:05:46Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:05:48I know.
01:05:49I'm sorry.
01:05:50I'm sorry.
01:05:51I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:06:01I got no game.
01:06:05I got no game.
01:06:13It's not important.
01:06:14Hey, um...
01:06:27Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:06:29No, no, no.
01:06:30I really need to talk to you.
01:06:32Really, Eric, I can't right now.
01:06:34No, no, no.
01:06:35I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier, and I'm just embarrassed, and I wanna make it up to you.
01:06:42Eric, really?
01:06:43I don't care.
01:06:44It's fine.
01:06:45No, but I do.
01:06:46I mean, I do.
01:06:47I care.
01:06:48I haven't known how to tell you.
01:06:52Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:06:55But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.
01:07:02Soon.
01:07:03Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while, and it would be nice to go out.
01:07:07Really?
01:07:08Eric, you're shy.
01:07:09You have no game.
01:07:11No, not really.
01:07:14Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:07:17Okay.
01:07:18Alright.
01:07:19I, uh, happy birthday, then.
01:07:24Oh, I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:07:42I was trying to kiss you.
01:07:52Wow.
01:07:53Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:08:10Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:08:15Sorry.
01:08:16Oh, goddammit. Not again.
01:08:17Oh, no, um...
01:08:18Oh, honey, happy...
01:08:19What the fuck is this?
01:08:23Who the hell are you, dude?
01:08:25Okay, guys, don't.
01:08:27Cheryl.
01:08:28Cheryl.
01:08:29Baby.
01:08:30What is this?
01:08:31Oh, gee, Cheryl.
01:08:32You're...
01:08:33I've been looking for you all night, and you've been...
01:08:34Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:08:35You couldn't find me?
01:08:36What about all those girls' vaginas you were in, or your penis getting sucked?
01:08:40Cheryl, honey.
01:08:41No!
01:08:42No!
01:08:43We can work this out.
01:08:44Baby, I love you.
01:08:45Jake, no.
01:08:46You have to go.
01:08:47Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:08:48I promise.
01:08:49No, Jake.
01:08:50I can't do this.
01:08:51I'm sorry.
01:08:52Oh, Cheryl, come on.
01:08:53No, Jake, please.
01:08:54Just go.
01:08:55I'm sorry.
01:08:56You're a harmless bitch!
01:08:57I'm sorry.
01:08:58You're a harmless bitch!
01:09:00I'm sorry.
01:09:01I'm sorry.
01:09:02No, Jake.
01:09:03I can't do this.
01:09:04I'm sorry.
01:09:05Cheryl, come on.
01:09:06No, Jake, please.
01:09:07Just go.
01:09:08Just go.
01:09:09I'm sorry.
01:09:10I can't do this.
01:09:11How did he do it?
01:09:12Yay!
01:09:13You did it.
01:09:14I'm so proud of you.
01:09:15You got your revenge sex.
01:09:17You left him a mere shell of a man.
01:09:20Revenge sex?
01:09:23It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:09:27Right.
01:09:28That all makes sense now.
01:09:31Wow.
01:09:32I feel really stupid.
01:09:35Eric, I'm really, I'm really sorry.
01:09:38Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:09:41And you used me.
01:09:43Eric, please don't go.
01:09:45Please, Eric!
01:09:46Aren't you happy?
01:09:49Well, no, that's not exactly what I was supposed to feel like.
01:09:54You mean the sex?
01:09:56Was it?
01:09:57Yeah?
01:09:58No, we didn't quite do it.
01:09:59Oh.
01:10:00You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:10:02Really?
01:10:03I just never found the right guy.
01:10:04Or guys.
01:10:05Anyway.
01:10:06We better get downstairs.
01:10:07People are starting to leave.
01:10:08I wonder how Sue did.
01:10:09I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:10:10This is bullshit.
01:10:12Oh!
01:10:13Oh!
01:10:14Oh!
01:10:15Oh!
01:10:16Oh!
01:10:17Oh!
01:10:18Oh!
01:10:19Oh!
01:10:20Oh!
01:10:21Oh!
01:10:22Oh, I don't know.
01:10:23What happened?
01:10:24Yeah, yeah, yeah!
01:10:25I can't believe she dumped me, man!
01:10:27This is bullshit!
01:10:28Oh!
01:10:29Oh!
01:10:30Oh!
01:10:31Oh!
01:10:32Oh!
01:10:33I'm out of here!
01:10:34Oh, yeah!
01:10:35Come out of here!
01:10:37Yeah!
01:10:38He has good hair, though.
01:10:44Don't you fuse on me.
01:10:46Don't fuse in my car, either.
01:11:02Sue, are you all right?
01:11:06Was it from sex?
01:11:07Did you pop your cork?
01:11:08I don't think so.
01:11:10Not with the guy, anyway.
01:11:12Oh, don't ask.
01:11:13Every possible object.
01:11:16It's like every mechanical thing.
01:11:18It was, like, transformers.
01:11:20They just all became vibrators.
01:11:22I told you.
01:11:24It's addicting.
01:11:26So what about Chris?
01:11:29The last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:11:32I told you he was gay.
01:11:33Oh, my God.
01:11:34Well, I think I'm just all cramp.
01:11:38Oh, I think it's broken.
01:11:41So, wait.
01:11:43None of us cashed an RV card.
01:11:46Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:11:53So let's go grab some food.
01:11:55Can I go?
01:11:56No.
01:11:58I think I should finish up here.
01:12:00Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:12:03No.
01:12:04I don't know.
01:12:05For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:12:10Or something.
01:12:12Why?
01:12:13Do you know him?
01:12:14Sort of.
01:12:15Oh.
01:12:16Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:12:20Leave everything.
01:12:27Love him.
01:12:28Shut it.
01:12:29You want to do it?
01:12:30I don't want to hear it from you.
01:12:31You want to get married.
01:12:32You want to do it?
01:12:33I've heard.
01:12:34I've heard.
01:12:35I've heard that many people are saying because of you.
01:13:04Nowhere.
01:13:22Oh well. There's always next year.
01:13:34It's you. I've been waiting for you, JJ.
01:13:56Joanna.
01:14:04Hello, Sam.
01:14:14Today's new year.
01:14:17We're ready to go.
01:14:20Anyways, I'm waiting to continue.
01:15:23Who's Eric's?
01:15:27It's him, right?
01:15:31Oh.
01:15:33Yeah.
01:15:35I have to go see him.
01:15:37Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:15:431-900-confess.
01:15:58Sister Terese?
01:16:00Yeah, hon.
01:16:02There was a problem with your credit card.
01:16:04I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:16:07Oh, sure.
01:16:09It's 271.
01:16:12Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:16:17Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:16:22Take you back?
01:16:24Sure, hon.
01:16:25Why not?
01:16:26As long as you're on the right path.
01:16:30Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:16:32I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:16:37Something to let me know that it's all going to be okay.
01:16:41Sister?
01:16:43Can I get up now?
01:16:45I really got to pee.
01:16:46No!
01:16:47Hush your trap!
01:16:48Okay, honey.
01:16:51I really need to get back to work, but call back anytime.
01:16:55I will.
01:16:57Thanks.
01:17:01Sister?
01:17:02Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:17:18Eric, wait!
01:17:26Cheryl?
01:17:29Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:17:36I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:38At the beginning, but then at the end, I wasn't.
01:17:42I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:45The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:17:48Um, I, I do want to go out with you.
01:17:54And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:17:58I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:18:01and he's all over these pink hair.
01:18:02Eric!
01:18:04Come on, I gotta get going.
01:18:06Oh, wow.
01:18:08Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister, Tina.
01:18:12Tina, Cheryl.
01:18:14Hi, nice to meet you.
01:18:18Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days when I get back?
01:18:26Yeah, sure.
01:18:34Oh.
01:18:35Sorry, no kissing, right?
01:18:37No, kissing.
01:18:38Oh.
01:18:39Mmm.
01:18:53Did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:18:59I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:19:05Wait, what? I never did that.
01:19:08I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:19:10She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:19:18She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:19:21I wonder who it was.
01:19:29At least this birthday's over.
01:19:45Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:20:02I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like send me a sign.
01:20:15Excuse me. Excuse me.
01:20:41Do you know where the church is?
01:20:44At least it's on Fountain Street.
01:20:46Um, yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:20:49Or used to go to.
01:20:50Um, it's straight up that way and then left.
01:20:57You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:20:59Oh, um, I don't know.
01:21:10Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:21:12Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:21:17Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:21:21I don't think so.
01:21:24But thanks.
01:21:25What's your name?
01:21:27Sue.
01:21:27What's yours?
01:21:28Jesus.
01:21:30Really?
01:21:31Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:38Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:42Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:43Oh, my God.
01:21:44Okay.
01:21:54Okay.
01:21:56Oh!
01:21:59Oh!
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