- 2 weeks ago
Stefan Molyneux examines the intricacies of forgiveness, highlighting the tension between the need to forgive and the risks of remaining bitter. Stefan critiques the idea of unconditional forgiveness, emphasizing that it should follow accountability, including apologies and a commitment to change. He explores the dynamics of personal relationships, stresses the importance of maintaining standards, and discusses how societal pressures can complicate moral responsibilities. Using metaphors, Stefan illustrates the emotional impact of unacknowledged wrongs and describes how waiting for an apology can lead to toxic relationships. Ultimately, he calls for a nuanced understanding of forgiveness that prioritizes accountability and rejects oversimplified moral frameworks.
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LearningTranscript
00:00All righty, hope you're doing well.
00:04So I have been racking my brain trying to figure out this forgiveness thing, which I
00:10find a very fascinating topic, because there's this dichotomy that's put forward, that either
00:18you forgive or you are trapped in eternal bitterness and hatred forever.
00:22Now, that's kind of like a medieval curse, do what I say or dire consequences.
00:27You must forgive, or I give you the voodoo curse of eternal misery and discontent and
00:34frustration and anger and rage, and you'll be tormented by the Saturn-orbiting rings of
00:40tiny frozen demon heads until the end of time.
00:44Not a great argument.
00:46Honestly, you know, it's like, do what I want, or you will live in torment forever.
00:54However, it's kind of like a terrorist threat in a way.
01:00Like, I mean, not real terrorism, but like emotional terrorism.
01:03It's kind of like a terrorist threat.
01:06And I know like, it's not an argument, and it is, it's kind of destructive and abusive.
01:13So why?
01:14Now, I mean, obviously, there are people in the world who benefit from being granted forgiveness
01:21without having to earn it.
01:23It's kind of like when people tell me how to do social media and be successful, and they
01:28have like no followers.
01:29It's like, why would I listen to you?
01:30You're a fat man giving me diet advice.
01:33So people don't like having to earn credibility.
01:36And the way that you earn credibility back when you've wronged someone is, you know, you
01:40admit fault, you apologize, you make restitution, and then you show a reasonable plan by which
01:44it's not going to happen again.
01:45So if you yell at some friend at a social gathering and call him an a-hole, then you
01:51obviously need to apologize.
01:53You need to sort of say, here's why I think it happened.
01:55Not that I'm blaming you or making excuses, but, you know, my father yelled at me all the
02:00time, and if I get tense, I have that urge.
02:02And then you make restitution, which is you apologize to your friend in front of the people
02:06that you insulted in front of.
02:11And then you say, like, I'm going to get therapy or anger management.
02:14You take the steps necessary to become a better person.
02:18Now, when people say, in Christianity, you have to love your enemies, sure.
02:25But for men, love means rules.
02:29For women, in general, love means support and approval.
02:34So when I'm teaching my daughter chess, which she's become very good at, by the way, but
02:39when I teach my daughter chess, I say, here are the rules.
02:42And if she follows the rules and wins, fantastic.
02:47If she follows the rules and loses, not good.
02:49If she tries to break the rules, or not that I would, but if she tries to break the rules
02:53when she was younger or just doesn't understand them or whatever, then I say no.
02:57So for men, affection or love is teaching objective rules.
03:01For women, though, a lot of times it's sort of this boosterism.
03:04And I get that.
03:05There's nothing wrong with that.
03:06There's no shade on men or women.
03:08We've both evolved, in general, to do different things.
03:13So women have evolved to be very enthusiastic about the crucial developmental milestones of
03:20babyhood and early childhood, toddlerhood, right?
03:24So it's like, yay, good job.
03:26Yeah, for you.
03:26You're rolling over.
03:27You're sitting up.
03:28You're rolling a ball.
03:30You're learning to walk.
03:32You're, you know, writing.
03:33Yay, good job.
03:34Fantastic.
03:34And that kind of boosterism, where you don't actually have standards, that's a beautiful
03:38picture.
03:38It's just a lollipop person.
03:40Again, it's beautiful.
03:41It finds nothing wrong with all of that.
03:43It's wonderful to have that kind of enthusiasm.
03:46But when children generally pass into the male world, then they have standards, right?
03:53And those standards are objective and necessary.
03:56So it's so important to remember that for most of their lives, like evolutionarily speaking,
04:06for most of their lives, females got pregnant in their mid-teens or maybe late teens, and
04:15then had a pretty endless succession of babies.
04:18And then by the time they were infertile in their forties, they had grandchildren and then
04:27great-grandchildren, and they were baby, toddler, early childhood caregivers.
04:34And again, please understand, it's a beautiful thing.
04:37It's why we're all here.
04:39I love women for that.
04:41But that's how they evolved.
04:43Now, I'll touch on this briefly, and I'll sort of get to the forgiveness thing.
04:49So why do women find it unbearable to see people fail and want to prop them up and support
04:55them?
04:55Because, you know, if you've got a 15-year-old and a 5-year-old, like you've got a whole
05:00range of kids, you've got a 15-year-old and you've got a 5, and you just lay out a bunch
05:03of food.
05:04If the 15-year-old is really hungry, as teenage boys in particular tend to be, it's just like
05:08throwing groceries down a well, sometimes feeding teenage boys.
05:11Because the 15-year-old is going to take as much food as he can, and the 5-year-old is
05:17going to go hungry.
05:19And if that happens consistently, the 5-year-old has a lower chance of survival.
05:24Even if he gets enough to eat, his immune system might not have the energy to fight off
05:27an infection or something like that, right?
05:29So women are dealing with people with unequal abilities through no fault of their own, right?
05:36It's the eternal cry of the younger sibling.
05:38It's like, why do you think you're better than me just because you happen to be born
05:42sooner?
05:42You didn't earn that, right?
05:44So women have a ferocious impulse to take from the more able and give to the less able
05:53by force if needed.
05:56And there's nothing wrong with that.
05:57If the 15-year-old is taking all the food and the 5-year-old is going hungry, the mom
06:03needs to go to the 15-year-old and take the food by force if need be to give it to the
06:095-year-old.
06:09And that's why we live, that's why we exist, that's why we have survived and flourished
06:14so much.
06:15I mean, the partnership of men and women have given us the most amazing miracle of the human
06:19mind.
06:19So no shade on either, right?
06:23And this is, of course, you know, a older woman taking food from a strapping 15-year-old
06:28boy is kind of an, I mean, that's why you need the men around or whatever, right?
06:32So for women, there are needy creatures that cannot fend for themselves that you must forcefully
06:41intervene to make sure they get what they want and need.
06:43And this is the root of sort of the welfare state, socialism, and alimony, child support,
06:53like younger siblings through no fault of their own cannot compete with older siblings
07:02and therefore you need a forceful authority to take resources from the more able and give
07:06them to the less able.
07:07And all that most people need to do is to pretend to be children to women and thus they
07:13gain women's political vote and power, to take away resources from men, to give it to
07:17the supposed needy, the underprivileged, the marginalized, the excluded.
07:20All of these are trigger words for forced redistribution, which again, in a family is absolutely
07:29necessary and in a society is absolutely catastrophic because to treat adults as if they're
07:36children will trigger women's redistributive urges, but it comes at the great expense of
07:43integrity, integrity, reality, and so on, right?
07:47So, for women, support, enthusiasm, redistribution of resources is part of their emotional makeup.
08:00And again, in a family, in a clan, in a tribe, in a small community, it's a beautiful, wonderful
08:05thing, and it's fantastic.
08:10There does need to be a passover, though, from enthusiasm to rules and standards.
08:17So, when there's a toddler, you don't morally blame the toddler because the toddler does not
08:30have any robust, abstract, moral reasoning.
08:35I forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do, Jesus' cry on the cross.
08:40I mean, I already talked about it with regards to the Roman soldiers just doing their job,
08:44so I won't repeat that.
08:45But that is the woman's cry if the toddler knocks over the can of paint, the open can of paint
08:56in the man's garage or workshop, and the man gets angry.
08:59The mom is like, he doesn't know what he's doing.
09:01Leave him be.
09:02I'll clean it up.
09:03Whatever, right?
09:04And so, forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.
09:06That's women attempting to shield, for as long as possible, babies and toddlers from the moral
09:12judgment, usually of men, though not always, of course.
09:16And these are just general trends.
09:17There's tons of exceptions.
09:20So, forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.
09:24So, for women, forgiveness is very important because they're in charge of babies and toddlers
09:30who don't have moral understanding in an adult fashion.
09:35The age of reason, traditionally, it's around the age of seven.
09:40That was around the age that in the Jewish community, if there was a family separation,
09:43the children would pass from the mother to the father.
09:45It's around the age of seven, mid-latency period, and so on.
09:49Moral understanding is achieved, and now excellence needs to be promoted.
09:55Egalitarianism, forced egalitarianism, if necessary, is essential for the survivors of babies and
09:59toddlers.
09:59But for the survival of the tribe, in particular, boys need to go from yay to that's really bad.
10:08Right?
10:09Yay is great.
10:10You know, the kid learns how to catch and throw a ball.
10:12Yay, fantastic, right?
10:13But you think of the hunters.
10:15If the kid is not good at throwing the spear, if the teenager is not good at throwing the spear,
10:19you can't give him the spear.
10:22Because you don't have a lot of spears, and once you throw the spear, the animals are spooked,
10:25and they all leave.
10:26So, you've got to have, you know, dead-eye Derek able to, you know, arrow that thing down
10:31and split a spear with another spear, if necessary, and so you move from egalitarianism to meritocracy.
10:38That's the only way the tribe can survive, right?
10:42I mean, if, you know, roomy-eyed, one-eyed Jack is bad at planting seeds, you don't give
10:47him a whole bunch of seeds to plant, if any, whereas if another guy is really good at planting
10:50seeds, you've got to give him the seeds.
10:52Otherwise, you're going to starve to death.
10:54So, you go from forced egalitarianism, because it's not the younger kid's fault that they
11:00can't compete with the older kids for the acquisition of resources, you go from that
11:03to a raw masculine meritocracy.
11:09So, you know, the first time, you know, the dad lifts up the kid, and the kid sinks the
11:14basket in the net, and yay, good job, and that's great.
11:18There's nothing wrong with a little toddler, right?
11:20But if you're running a high school basketball team, there's no yay, good job, like you need
11:26the people who can, you need the kids who can actually sink the baskets.
11:29And you go from yay boosterism, again, beautiful, wonderful thing, to raw meritocracy, which
11:35is needed for survival.
11:39And raw meritocracy gets washed away under the endless waves of female voting, because females
11:46see people doing badly, and especially if they don't have kids themselves, they want
11:53to help, they want to support, they want to make things equal, they're really, really
11:58uncomfortable at seeing failure.
12:03Whereas men, it's important to know and see failure to make sure you don't give your spear
12:09to the guy who can't throw, and you don't give your seeds to the guy who can't plant, and
12:14you don't give your scarce swords and shields to the guys who can't fight.
12:21But women find it very hard to see failure.
12:29Men find it necessary to see failure because failure reveals success.
12:35Right?
12:36Like when I was a gold panner, we would, I would swirl the dirt and the grit and the dust
12:43and the earth and the detritus, and then I would try and find the pieces of gold, right?
12:48And that's the process of getting rid of the stuff that's not gold so that you can get
12:51to the stuff that is gold, and that's necessary.
12:54Now, of course, the little rocks that I threw aside that weren't gold, like granite, quartz
12:57or whatever, or pyrite, I didn't sit there and say, well, geez, they feel really bad that
13:02they're not going to end up on some ring or, you know, in a computer circuit or something
13:06like that, right?
13:07It's just like, get rid of that stuff, get to the gold.
13:11Meritocracy.
13:13The best singer in the band should be the singer of the band.
13:16The best drummer of the band should be, you understand, right?
13:19And if you don't have meritocracy, you don't have a society, you don't have a civilization.
13:23Like imagine the NBA, if they didn't have tryouts, they didn't need tall people, and anyone
13:28who wanted to join could join.
13:30Imagine how much a random karaoke concert would sell out a stadium.
13:35Like you get Coldplay or Katy Perry or whatever, Taylor Swift, they can sell out stadiums.
13:40But if it's just like random karaoke night, how many people are going to pay for that?
13:45You need a meritocracy in order to have a society among adults.
13:52And in the family, you need redistribution of resources in order to have the younger siblings
13:59survive.
13:59So these sort of tensions.
14:01And without the state, these things would all resolve themselves peacefully and well.
14:05But with the state, everything gets kind of pathological.
14:09I mean, the state and political power turns sort of healthy human instincts into a cancerous
14:15multiplication, and it just becomes really terrible.
14:22And instead of having lymph nodes, you have tumors.
14:27So forgiveness for mothers is important, right?
14:34I mean, and I remember always, was it City of God or something like that?
14:38There was a Patrick Swayze movie, and it was kind of a good ad lib.
14:41He was a funny guy.
14:43And a baby peed into his face while he was changing the diaper, a little boy.
14:50And Patrick Swayze laughed and said, hey, he's going to be a fireman.
14:54That's pretty funny.
14:55Now, a baby peeing in your face is something you forgive, right?
14:59The baby doesn't have to earn forgiveness.
15:00They don't have to apologize right out 50 times.
15:03I will not pee in a man's face.
15:05But of course, if an adult pees in your face, assuming they're not completely insane, that's
15:09assault, and they need to be punished.
15:12They need to suffer negative consequences for that.
15:17Every parent, most parents, have had the experience where they're taking a toddler to the grocery
15:25store, and they come out of the grocery store, they're packing the groceries away, and they
15:33see that their little toddler is holding on to a stick of gum or a little piece of candy or something
15:40like that, and they say, wait, did you get that from the store?
15:45And they're like, yeah.
15:47And they didn't hide it.
15:48They didn't write.
15:48They just took it.
15:49Like, they would take it at Halloween or at home or something like that.
15:53And then you have to sit down.
15:54And you don't sort of, you thief, you shoplifter, call the cops.
15:57You know, you say, oh, actually, we can't take them to the store without paying them.
16:01And you sort of go through the explanation.
16:03And next time you're at the store, you make sure you pay for it or something like that,
16:06right?
16:07So, but you forgive the kid because you know what he's doing.
16:11Hey, I like candy.
16:12There's candy.
16:12I'll take candy, right?
16:13I mean, they don't understand the abstractions of the score of the store and the economy and
16:18their money and transfer and property rights.
16:20I mean, okay, totally understandable, right?
16:22So forgive, forgive, right?
16:23That makes sense.
16:24So, and I certainly do understand, as I mentioned before, and I'll just touch on it briefly,
16:30you know, the natural little chafing stuff that happens when you live with people, you
16:33need to forgive that.
16:34Otherwise, you just kind of, what was it?
16:36I wrote more than a quarter century ago in one of my novels called The God of Atheists,
16:42which you should check out at freedomain.com slash books.
16:45I wrote about a wife.
16:48She collected resentment in the marriage like an elk collect burrs.
16:52And at this point in the marriage, she was far more burr than elk.
16:55I know, that's great stuff, great stuff in that book.
17:01The husband lady yells at her, if you can find any compassion in that over-tanned raisin,
17:08you call the heart, you call the heart.
17:11Anyway, it's a great book, very funny and very powerful.
17:15The God of Atheists, you should check it out.
17:17Anyway, so there are people who benefit from pretending that they don't know, and therefore
17:26you should forgive them as if they were toddlers, right?
17:28So what is it that people always say?
17:30If you say, you did me wrong, they say, I didn't mean to.
17:32I didn't mean to.
17:34So they're claiming the innocence of toddlers.
17:36You should forgive me because I didn't know what I was doing.
17:39I had no, I'm sorry that you took it that way.
17:41I didn't mean it that way.
17:43I'm sorry.
17:43So they're kind of calling you maybe crazy and paranoid or whatever, right?
17:46But they're taking that sort of, you know, the Manson Beams, like the wide, not the Manson
17:50Beams, the wide-eyed toddler stuff, right?
17:53I didn't mean to.
17:55It was an accident.
17:56I don't know, right?
17:57And therefore, they're not to be held morally accountable.
18:01So adults are morally responsible.
18:05We can't function any other way, and they are morally responsible.
18:08Well, again, I'm not talking about people who have massive brain injuries or Alzheimer's
18:12or sleepwalking or epilepsy.
18:14I mean, I'm talking generally, normally functioning adults, morally responsible.
18:20And that's the sort of adult view.
18:25And it can't function any other way.
18:29It is an epistemological fact.
18:30It's a metaphysical fact.
18:31Human adults are morally responsible.
18:36Again, if somebody's got an IQ of 60, but it's very much a deviation from the norm.
18:40A sort of normal average, most, most human beings are, like, in the white population,
18:46I think only 2% of people have IQs below 70, right?
18:51So it's a very, very small minority.
18:56So adults are morally responsible.
19:02So where does it come from, this torment argument?
19:11Again, I've been racking my brain to the melting point.
19:15And I have a thought or two.
19:20I'm not saying it's definitive.
19:21I'm not saying it's final.
19:23It's not syllogistical reasoning.
19:26It's not deductive reasoning.
19:30Some inductive stuff thrown in.
19:32So I'll tell you what I think.
19:35I'm going to start with an analogy.
19:37So imagine that there's a safe that comes to you in a will or something like that.
19:51A safe comes to you.
19:54And you are told that there is a million dollars worth of diamonds in the safe.
20:03There's a million dollars worth of diamonds in the safe.
20:05Or five million dollars, whatever it is, right?
20:06I don't know.
20:07In the future, there'll be inflation.
20:09So it's a crap ton of money in the safe.
20:14But you are not given the combination.
20:24So you'll try a whole bunch of things.
20:27Like that poor guy who had Bitcoin on a drive that was password locked.
20:32He couldn't remember the password.
20:33So you will sit there spinning that dial back and forth or rolling the combination or whatever it is because there's all this.
20:44Now, let's pretend for some reason you can't just cut the safe and whatever it is, right?
20:48Maybe it's crypto on a thumb drive and there's some password.
20:54You don't know what the password is and so on.
20:55So you could lose a lot of time trying to get at that valuable, those diamonds, right?
21:08That millions and millions of dollars worth of diamonds, life-changing amount of money.
21:12Maybe you could spend a lot of time, a lot of time trying to access that wealth, right?
21:20Because it's in there.
21:21You just have to figure out how to get in there.
21:23And that would torment you.
21:26Even if you kind of gave up, like, oh, my God, I'm never going to figure this out.
21:29There's too many combinations.
21:30Maybe you'd set up a robot or an AI to whatever it is to try and do it and figure it out.
21:34But it would torment you for years, right?
21:37It would make going to work, when you have all of this millions of dollars in a safe that you can't access,
21:44it would make going to work, you know, kind of crazy-making.
21:48And because there's massive value in there, you've got to figure out the combination, right?
21:59Now, imagine that you found some way to x-ray the safe
22:05or there was a tiny hole you could put a camera in, you just kind of discovered it.
22:09So after a certain amount, whatever it is, months of trying,
22:13you finally get an x-rayed and it's empty.
22:15It's empty.
22:15There's nothing in there, nothing in there.
22:17So you're obviously disappointed, very disappointed, but you're relieved.
22:23You're relieved.
22:25Because now you don't have to keep trying the safe to get, because there's nothing in there.
22:31So you go through a, I don't know, a grieving process or a disappointment process,
22:37and then you're free.
22:39You're free.
22:41And you go back to work without thinking about all this money in the safe and so on, right?
22:51Or, you know, for the crypto example, you get crypto on a thumb drive that's password protected.
22:55Let's say that there's an application that looks at it and says,
23:00no, there's nothing on the other side.
23:01I don't know what's on there, but there's nothing there, right?
23:03Like, I can't tell you what is there.
23:05I can only tell you that there's nothing on the drive.
23:07There's nothing on the drive.
23:11Like, the sectors aren't even remotely full enough to have anything other than a password protection.
23:15There's nothing on the drive.
23:16Then you'll, again, you'll be disappointed, upset,
23:18but you won't be going nuts and crazy trying to get the crypto off the drive.
23:31So, the reason that I'm giving you this analogy is for Christians,
23:36and, of course, for religious people, we'll talk about Christians specifically at the moment.
23:40For Christians, there's always crypto on the drive.
23:45There's always gold in the safe.
23:46Because there's always a good person in there.
23:52You just have to figure out how to access it.
23:55And you can't walk away from the safe with millions of dollars of diamonds
24:00or the thumb drive with millions of dollars in crypto.
24:02You can't walk away from that because there's always going to,
24:05there's value in there.
24:06You just have to figure out how to access it.
24:16So, for more secular, scientific, and so on,
24:24there is no good, perfect person that is a ghost inside a bad, corrupt person.
24:32If you've smoked for 40 years, you have smoky, bacon-flavored lungs.
24:39They're damaged, potentially cancerous.
24:43You've got your COPD, your emphysema, your lung cancer.
24:45Like, it's just, it's bad.
24:47There is no, there are no healthy, pink, perfect lungs in there
24:51that you just have to figure out the right sequence of words to say to unlock them.
24:57There is no platonic, perfect you inside you.
25:07If you have some tumor, there is no perfect you without a tumor
25:10that you just have to unlock to not have the tumor.
25:14You've got to deal with the tumor, it's a real thing, or whatever.
25:18So, with the soul, the concept of the soul,
25:22there's always a good, perfect, undamaged person in there somewhere.
25:26You just have to find a way to access it.
25:30Diamonds in the safe.
25:32Crypto on the drive.
25:37For me,
25:39there are definitely environmental and genetic influences.
25:47Their personality, there's almost no aspect of personality
25:49not touched by genetics, and influences are very strong, right?
25:53So, I grew up, I was taught English, I was immersed in English, I learned English.
26:01So, it was environmental.
26:02Do I have a good facility with the English language?
26:04Yeah, pretty much.
26:08But, so there's genetics and environment
26:10that have contributed, defined really in many ways,
26:16my facility with English.
26:17I have a good language brain, and I was taught English.
26:20The good language brain, I did not earn.
26:22Being taught English, I did not earn.
26:24It was just an accident of birth.
26:28And, the choices that I make with the English that I can speak,
26:32whether I use it to promote virtue,
26:33or gather power, or money, or corruption,
26:35or, you know, mess people up,
26:36or whatever, enact some
26:38syllabalistic, sadistic
26:39impulse on the world,
26:41that's my choice, right?
26:43That's, you know, integrity, virtue, those are choices.
26:45But, my facility with English
26:48was unchosen.
26:50What I do with that facility,
26:52you know,
26:53if you happen to be born with a great singing voice,
26:55you still get to choose
26:55whether you sing nihilistic death metal,
26:58or beautiful Bach,
27:00or something like that.
27:04Even John Anderson did
27:05have a Wiederm Corpus, I think, from Mozart.
27:07So,
27:09each sort of
27:11little decision that you make
27:13determines
27:15the path in life,
27:16whether you go up or down.
27:18There are times when you can turn back,
27:20and then there are times when you cannot turn back.
27:23I remember reading many years ago,
27:25some
27:25columnist in a newspaper
27:27was saying he was quitting smoking in his 50s,
27:30and he'd been a heavy smoker for decades,
27:32and his,
27:33I think if I remember rightly,
27:35this is not medical advice,
27:36it's just what I remember,
27:37I think the doctor said,
27:38well, you know,
27:39it'll be nicer for you,
27:40but I don't know it's going to do much
27:41to undo the damage, right?
27:43And again,
27:43I don't know whether that's sort of
27:45valid or not,
27:46but
27:46that's sort of the way,
27:48way that it is.
27:54So,
27:55after a certain amount of time,
27:56it becomes
27:57irreversible, right?
27:58One cigarette,
27:59you're probably not going to get sick.
28:01A billion cigarettes,
28:02whatever,
28:02you kind of get it, right?
28:04If you have one drink a month,
28:06probably not going to affect you that much,
28:08but if you drink,
28:08you know,
28:09two bottles of wine a day,
28:11it's,
28:11right,
28:11so you understand.
28:12And at some point,
28:13you can't,
28:14you can't back out,
28:15right?
28:15At some point,
28:16you can't back out.
28:18I always think of,
28:19like,
28:19choices,
28:20like,
28:22driving
28:23driving a pickup truck
28:26along a road
28:29that
28:30is heavily rained on,
28:32right?
28:35Let's see,
28:35you're slightly going down,
28:36right?
28:36You're going down a road.
28:37Now,
28:38because I did a lot of truck driving
28:40when I worked up north,
28:41and you always had to worry about
28:42getting back out,
28:43right?
28:43I can get in,
28:44can I get back out?
28:45Particularly if it rains,
28:46because if it's slightly downward sloping,
28:47and
28:48there's rain,
28:49you have the revelage,
28:50the mud,
28:50and you can't get out,
28:51you can't get out.
28:53Especially if the rain lasts for days,
28:54you're toast,
28:55right?
28:55So you've always got to be careful
28:56of that kind of stuff.
28:59So,
28:59you know,
28:59if you're going down a road
29:00and it starts to rain,
29:01you can back out.
29:01But if you keep going down the road,
29:03and it's raining,
29:04and it's raining,
29:05you can't get,
29:05you can't,
29:05you can't back out.
29:06You can't,
29:06you can't,
29:07you can,
29:07you can turn around,
29:08you can't get back up the hill,
29:09right?
29:10So,
29:11in,
29:13in a material sense,
29:14if you don't have the perfect ghost
29:16of the perfectly healthy,
29:17immoral you in there
29:18that you can access
29:19if you just figure out
29:20the right incantations
29:21or hand gestures
29:21or prayers
29:22or combinations
29:23of whatever,
29:25then you're like,
29:25okay,
29:26I have what I have.
29:27Like,
29:28there's no,
29:28there's no perfect young Steph
29:30stuck inside my
29:32aging flesh,
29:33right?
29:34I,
29:34I am what I am.
29:39So,
29:39from a material standpoint,
29:44the brain
29:46goes like this.
29:48You can shape clay
29:50when it's new
29:52and young
29:52and wet
29:53and fresh.
29:54You put it on your wheel
29:55and shape it
29:55and so on,
29:56right?
29:57And,
29:58or,
29:59or concrete.
29:59You can pour concrete
30:00when it's new
30:01and fresh
30:01and wet.
30:03And then,
30:04what does it do?
30:06My,
30:06we used to call it,
30:07we used to call it spackle.
30:08I don't know why
30:09we called it spackle.
30:10We called it polyfiller,
30:10right?
30:11So,
30:11polyfiller,
30:12you squeeze,
30:12you got a hole to fill
30:13in the wall,
30:13you're gonna,
30:14right?
30:14You,
30:15you squeeze out the polyfiller,
30:17you,
30:18it's soft,
30:19you put,
30:19and it hardens,
30:20right?
30:22We've all,
30:23we've all
30:23had that kind of stuff,
30:25right?
30:25Clean up that glue,
30:26it's gonna harden.
30:28Mortar.
30:29Anyway,
30:29you understand,
30:30right?
30:30So,
30:30the stuff that starts
30:31are soft
30:31and then it hardens
30:33over time.
30:35And that's
30:35our choices.
30:38With,
30:41I mean,
30:42I suppose the caveat,
30:43I suppose the caveat
30:44is that if you choose
30:45to remain flexible,
30:45you can remain flexible.
30:47So,
30:47if you choose to follow
30:48reason and evidence,
30:49then you are still
30:50moldable by reason
30:51and evidence
30:52as an adult.
30:52But if you choose
30:53to become dogmatic,
30:54if you choose
30:54to become defensive,
30:55if you choose
30:56to attack
30:56contrary opinions,
30:57if you choose
30:58to reject
30:59empirical evidence,
31:00then your brain
31:00hardens.
31:01And it can't
31:02unharden,
31:03right?
31:03This is what
31:03Yuri Bezmenov
31:04talks about
31:04in terms of
31:05being,
31:09what was it,
31:09not disillusioned,
31:10but dispirited,
31:13disempowered.
31:14The word will come
31:15to me,
31:16but when he talks
31:17about it,
31:18it's like,
31:20it doesn't matter.
31:21Like,
31:21no matter what facts
31:22and evidence
31:22you provide to people,
31:23it won't matter anymore
31:24once they're broken
31:26in this kind of way.
31:29My brain is like,
31:30still looking for that word,
31:31but I'll have to abandon it
31:32because it's not coming.
31:35Somebody's going to say
31:35it below,
31:36but like,
31:36ah,
31:36of course,
31:37right?
31:39So,
31:39when your spirit
31:41is broken
31:42and you just become
31:43dogmatic,
31:44then you can't
31:44become undogmatic
31:45and you can't
31:46get reason and evidence
31:48later.
31:50So,
31:50it's like,
31:51if somebody chooses
31:51not to smoke,
31:52they can either sit
31:53or they can run.
31:54They can run.
31:56If somebody chooses
31:57to exercise,
31:58they can either sit
31:58or they can do
31:59whatever exercise.
32:00If somebody chooses
32:01to learn tennis,
32:02they can either sit
32:03or they can go
32:03to learn tennis.
32:05But I don't know
32:06how to play
32:07ma yong,
32:08so I don't play
32:08ma yong.
32:10What else do I know
32:11how to do?
32:12I mean,
32:13almost an infinity
32:13of things.
32:14I don't know
32:15how to play
32:15the saxophone,
32:16so I don't have
32:17the option
32:17to play the saxophone.
32:18So,
32:19if you learn skills
32:20and the skills
32:20are reason and evidence,
32:22then you remain
32:23flexible
32:25to reason and evidence.
32:26You remain,
32:27you retain the ability
32:28to change your mind
32:28if you become dogmatic
32:30and aggressive
32:31and so on
32:31and insulting
32:33and contemptuous
32:34and an a-hole,
32:36basically,
32:37then you lose
32:38your ability
32:39to change your mind
32:39over time
32:40and your brain
32:41hardens.
32:41Your brain
32:42hardens into
32:43dogmatism
32:44or it remains
32:45soft, healthy
32:46and pliable
32:47through the pursuit
32:50of truth
32:51and reason
32:51and evidence.
32:53So,
32:57I think that
33:00the Christians say
33:01either I forgive
33:03or I'm tormented
33:05forever.
33:07In other words,
33:08either I give up
33:09my desire
33:10or I'm tormented
33:14forever
33:14because I don't
33:16have the option
33:17of saying
33:17there's nothing
33:18of value
33:18in the safe.
33:19There's nothing
33:19of value
33:20on the thumb drive.
33:21There aren't
33:21millions of dollars
33:22of diamonds
33:23in the safe.
33:24There aren't
33:24millions of dollars
33:25of crypto
33:25on the thumb drive.
33:30I think it's
33:31when restitution
33:32is not offered.
33:35When restitution
33:36is not offered,
33:37there's
33:38a sort of
33:39fundamental acceptance
33:40of the reality
33:41that,
33:42and for me,
33:42it's a 24-hour rule.
33:43Like,
33:43if somebody does
33:44something bad
33:45to me,
33:45they have 24 hours
33:47to apologize
33:48or it's never
33:48going to happen.
33:49I mean,
33:50and the great thing
33:50about getting older
33:51is you don't
33:52have to worry
33:53about what-ifs
33:54because you have
33:55enough experience,
33:55right?
33:56I mean,
33:56my 60th year,
33:57so I have enough
33:57experience to know
33:58when things are
34:00going to happen
34:00and if somebody
34:01has a conscience,
34:02that conscience
34:02will plague them
34:04and say,
34:04ah,
34:05you did something
34:05wrong,
34:05you really need
34:06to apologize
34:08and if somebody
34:11doesn't have a
34:12conscience or they've
34:13talked themselves
34:13into there's no
34:14need to apologize,
34:15I didn't do the
34:16wrong thing,
34:16he misinterpreted,
34:17and they sort of
34:18create that
34:19stone wall
34:20of self-justification
34:21that traps you
34:22in a windowless
34:23cellar eventually,
34:24then they're not
34:25going to apologize
34:25because they've
34:26justified it to
34:26themselves.
34:28If somebody is
34:29willing to be
34:30uncomfortable in
34:31the face of their
34:32conscience,
34:32that will provoke
34:33them or promote
34:33better action.
34:37If,
34:38I'm still trying
34:39to get that
34:39best-minute
34:40forward,
34:41stop that
34:42parallel tracking
34:42brain,
34:43we've got to
34:43focus on this.
34:45So,
34:46is there
34:50still gold
34:50in there?
34:52If somebody
34:53has done you
34:55wrong and
34:56they don't
34:57apologize,
34:58again,
34:59I've never
34:59had a long,
35:00if somebody
35:01hasn't apologized
35:01to me in 24
35:02hours,
35:03it's never
35:03happened.
35:04And this is
35:04not just
35:05true.
35:05I've asked
35:05this of tons
35:06of people
35:06over the
35:06course of
35:07my life.
35:07Nobody I've
35:08ever talked
35:08to,
35:09it's a lot
35:09of people
35:10by now,
35:10nobody I've
35:11ever talked
35:11to has been
35:12apologized to
35:13later in any
35:14sort of meaningful
35:14way.
35:15I mean,
35:15if somebody
35:15gets into
35:1512,
35:16step
35:16program,
35:16they might
35:17give you
35:17some sort
35:17of bull
35:18crap,
35:18non-apology
35:19kind of
35:19thing,
35:19like,
35:19I'm sorry
35:20if you
35:20were upset,
35:21you know,
35:21but nobody
35:22sort of
35:22genuinely
35:22apologizes,
35:23makes restitution,
35:25has a plan
35:26to have it
35:26not happen
35:26again.
35:27That stuff
35:28doesn't
35:28really happen
35:29after 24
35:31hours.
35:34Because if
35:35they've wronged
35:35you after
35:3624 hours,
35:37they've just
35:37justified it,
35:37and now
35:38it would
35:39be considered,
35:39they would
35:40consider it
35:40wrong to
35:41apologize.
35:42Well,
35:42I have nothing
35:42to apologize
35:43for,
35:43he provoked
35:44it,
35:44whatever,
35:44right?
35:44So,
35:47if people
35:48have indicated
35:49that they're
35:49never going
35:50to apologize,
35:52then to
35:53say they
35:54are now
35:55irredeemably
35:56selfish,
35:57corrupt,
35:58whatever you
35:58want to
35:58say,
35:59negative,
35:59is to
36:01say there's
36:02no hope
36:02for them,
36:02but you
36:03can't say
36:03there's no
36:03hope for
36:03them because
36:04they have
36:04a soul,
36:04so you're
36:05stuck in
36:05this torment
36:05of expectation
36:06and waiting,
36:07so you just
36:08have to
36:08forgive them.
36:08And I
36:11think that's
36:11where this
36:12torment of
36:12expectation
36:13and waiting,
36:13you can't
36:14detach,
36:15you can't
36:15stop thinking
36:16about the
36:17safe because
36:17there's still
36:18money in
36:18there,
36:19millions of
36:19dollars of
36:20money in
36:20the safe,
36:21so you
36:21can't stop
36:21thinking about
36:22it,
36:22so that's
36:23your torment,
36:24whereas I'm
36:25like,
36:26there's nothing
36:27in the
36:27safe,
36:28there's nothing
36:28in there,
36:29empty,
36:30dusty,
36:31like Al Capone's
36:32big reveal
36:33under Geraldo,
36:33right?
36:33There's nothing
36:34in there,
36:34okay?
36:37So I don't
36:37have to think
36:38about this,
36:38I can move
36:39on,
36:39right?
36:39And I
36:40think this
36:40is the
36:40difference,
36:41I think this
36:42is the
36:42incomprehension
36:42that Christians
36:44and I
36:44have,
36:45that I'm
36:46like,
36:46okay,
36:47so the
36:47person has
36:47revealed to
36:48me the
36:49hardness and
36:50structure of
36:50their brain
36:51in wrongdoing
36:52without apologies
36:53or restitution,
36:54even when I
36:54sit down and
36:55say,
36:55this is what
36:55you did
36:56that was
36:56wrong,
36:57and here's
36:57why,
36:58there are no
36:59apologies.
37:03And,
37:04so because
37:05of that,
37:06I stopped
37:06thinking about
37:07the person
37:07because they
37:08have revealed
37:08their brain
37:08structure.
37:10Like,
37:10if you want
37:10to recruit
37:11someone for
37:11a basketball
37:12team,
37:12and you
37:13say,
37:13hey,
37:13I'd like
37:14you to
37:14try out
37:14for the
37:14basketball
37:15team,
37:16and they,
37:17you know,
37:18they take a
37:19pee into your
37:19gym bag and
37:20throw the
37:20basketball at
37:21your head,
37:21curse you out
37:22and storm out
37:23and never
37:23apologize,
37:25do you say,
37:25oh,
37:25but there's a
37:26great basketball
37:27player somewhere
37:27inside you,
37:28you've got to
37:28come back,
37:29you've got to,
37:29right?
37:31You can't just
37:31say,
37:32oh,
37:32let's take
37:33that guy
37:34off the
37:34list,
37:34shall we?
37:39Good riddance,
37:41right?
37:41Good riddance.
37:43I don't think
37:44about the people
37:45because there's
37:46no secret
37:47good person
37:48in there.
37:48Like,
37:48if you've got
37:49corrupted lungs
37:51from decades
37:51of smoking,
37:52sick,
37:53compromised lungs,
37:56and you have to
37:56work with that
37:57and accept it,
37:57but if you
37:58believe that
37:58there's some
37:59Andy Kaufman
38:00magic that's
38:01going to
38:01restore your
38:02healthy lungs,
38:03then you're
38:04kind of
38:04tormented by
38:04that.
38:07So,
38:08I think the
38:08forgiveness
38:08thing is,
38:10I can't
38:10detach from
38:12the person
38:12because that
38:13would be to
38:14say they
38:14have no
38:14hope and
38:15that would
38:15be a sin
38:16because they
38:16have a soul
38:17and therefore
38:17there is
38:18always hope,
38:18but my
38:20empiricism says
38:20there's no
38:21actual hope,
38:22there's nothing
38:23that's going to
38:23manifest,
38:24so I can't
38:25withdraw from
38:26the relationship,
38:26because there's
38:29still gold in
38:30the safe,
38:31I can't just
38:31throw the
38:31safe out,
38:32I can't just
38:32throw it,
38:33see to me,
38:33if I get a
38:34safe,
38:35somebody tells
38:36me or I
38:36believe that
38:37there's millions
38:38of dollars in
38:38the safe and
38:39then I x-ray
38:40it,
38:40there's nothing
38:40in there,
38:40just throw the
38:41safe out,
38:41I can't
38:41open it,
38:43there's nothing
38:43of value in
38:44it,
38:44if I could
38:45open it,
38:45maybe I
38:45could use it
38:45for something
38:46else,
38:46nothing of
38:46value in
38:47it,
38:47I can't
38:47open it,
38:48just get rid
38:48of it,
38:49it's a useless
38:49thing,
38:50it's just
38:50taking up
38:50space.
38:56I don't
39:06have a
39:06tortured
39:06relationship
39:07with the
39:08safe I
39:09can't get
39:09into that
39:10I know is
39:10empty,
39:11I just
39:11don't have
39:12it around
39:12anymore,
39:13it's the
39:13same thing
39:13with
39:13relationships,
39:14where someone
39:15does me
39:15wrong,
39:15I say
39:16that you
39:16did me
39:16wrong,
39:17and they
39:17don't
39:17apologize,
39:18they double
39:18down,
39:18they insult,
39:19they gaslight,
39:20they counterattack,
39:20you know,
39:21Darvo,
39:21right?
39:22Deny,
39:23attack,
39:23reverse victim,
39:24and offender.
39:25Why you
39:26kind of
39:26command me
39:26so hard,
39:27man?
39:28Because you
39:29did me
39:30wrong.
39:31And they
39:32don't have
39:33any sort of
39:33rational
39:33counterarguments,
39:35because,
39:35you know,
39:35you can
39:35always,
39:36I and
39:36you and
39:37everyone can
39:37always misinterpret
39:38that someone
39:38has wronged
39:39us when they
39:39haven't,
39:40right?
39:40That's why
39:41you give
39:41them the
39:42right of
39:42reply.
39:43It's fair,
39:43right?
39:47So,
39:48I
39:50accept
39:51that
39:55there's
39:55nothing in
39:55the safe,
39:56I can't
39:56open it,
39:57so toss
39:58it.
40:00And where
40:01I want
40:01to be
40:02is in
40:02relationships,
40:04to stretch
40:05the analogy
40:05perhaps a
40:06little too
40:06far,
40:07I want
40:09to be in
40:10relationships
40:10with people
40:11where I
40:12don't have
40:12to fight to
40:12open the
40:13safe and
40:13the value
40:13is very
40:14clear.
40:14The exchange
40:15of value,
40:15of positivity,
40:16of health,
40:16and happiness,
40:17of humor,
40:17of wisdom,
40:18of virtue,
40:19is clear,
40:20right?
40:21It's
40:21clear.
40:24I
40:25don't
40:25have the
40:26luxury,
40:27which I
40:27think is
40:28actually quite
40:28negative,
40:29I don't
40:29have the
40:30luxury
40:30as an
40:32empiricist,
40:33as a
40:33rationalist,
40:34as a
40:38non-reality
40:40of abstractions
40:41guy.
40:42Abstractions are
40:43valuable,
40:43but they don't
40:43exist in
40:44sort of
40:45platonic form,
40:45or the
40:46essence of
40:47the personality
40:47is the
40:48aggregation of
40:49neurons,
40:50it is not
40:50a ghost
40:51in the
40:52mind.
40:52I'm still
40:53a free
40:53will guy,
40:54of course,
40:54right?
40:55There's no
40:55virtue without
40:57free will.
40:59There would be
41:00no such thing
41:00as philosophy
41:01without free
41:02will.
41:03Anyway,
41:03I've made
41:03sort of these
41:04arguments.
41:05Essentialphilosophy.com,
41:06you get all
41:06these arguments.
41:09So,
41:10I don't
41:12have the
41:12illusion
41:13of value
41:15in the
41:16safe.
41:17So,
41:17if I can't
41:17open the
41:18safe,
41:18and I know
41:18there's nothing
41:19in the
41:19safe,
41:19I don't
41:20need the
41:20safe.
41:20I'm not
41:21tortured by
41:21a perpetual
41:22relationship
41:22with the
41:22safe.
41:23But for
41:23Christians to
41:24walk away
41:25from someone
41:25who's done
41:25them wrong
41:26and is
41:26unapologetic
41:27is tough,
41:29especially
41:29for women
41:31who are
41:32primed to
41:33not hold
41:33people morally
41:34accountable,
41:34because they're
41:35dealing with
41:35babies and
41:35toddlers a lot
41:36of times,
41:36and the
41:37moral instruction
41:37generally passes
41:38to the male,
41:39which is what
41:40we're adapted
41:41for.
41:43So,
41:46I think
41:47that's sort
41:47of the
41:47essence of
41:48the
41:48disagreement.
41:49I'm like,
41:50okay,
41:51this person
41:51has done
41:52me wrong,
41:52I talk to
41:54them about
41:54it,
41:55they won't
41:55apologize,
41:56they are
41:57counterattacking,
41:59they are now
41:59doing me
41:59additional wrong,
42:01so there's
42:05nothing here.
42:07I mean,
42:08I've actually
42:08opened the
42:09safe,
42:09and there's
42:10nothing in
42:10there,
42:10but you
42:11can't open
42:12the safe
42:12in the
42:12Christian
42:13world,
42:13because there
42:13could always
42:14be a soul,
42:15well,
42:15there is a
42:15soul in
42:15there that
42:16could always
42:16be turned
42:16to good,
42:17which is why
42:18Christians tend
42:20to love the
42:20stories of the
42:21deathbed repentance
42:21and the
42:22softening of the
42:23heart at the
42:23end of life,
42:24and so on,
42:24right?
42:25That's a
42:26generally,
42:27generally,
42:27it's a massive
42:27fantasy.
42:30I remember a
42:31woman,
42:31there used to
42:31be some
42:32pretty good
42:32articles on
42:33the back of
42:33the Globe
42:33and Mail,
42:34sort of
42:34personal articles
42:35sent in by
42:35people,
42:35and I remember
42:36one woman
42:36was talking
42:38about how she
42:39taught her
42:39father to hug
42:40at the end
42:42there was
42:43something nice,
42:43and that's
42:44fine,
42:45I guess,
42:45but hug is a
42:46long way from
42:47being a virtuous
42:48person,
42:48though.
42:49Some softening
42:50and empathy
42:50is important
42:51for that.
42:53So,
42:53I think that's
42:54sort of the
42:55essence of our
42:55disagreement,
42:56is I'm like,
42:57no,
42:57no,
42:57no,
42:58I've looked,
42:58like I've
42:59actually opened
43:00the safe and
43:00there's nothing
43:00there,
43:02right?
43:02There is no
43:03virtuous consideration
43:04there.
43:05The person has
43:06shown who they
43:06are and how
43:07they behave.
43:08They have shown
43:08that they simply
43:09double down,
43:10because if they've
43:10done you wrong,
43:11you tell them
43:12and they don't
43:12apologize and
43:13they don't
43:13apologize within
43:1424 hours,
43:14all they've
43:15done is
43:15justified it
43:15to themselves.
43:16So,
43:17there is no
43:17virtue to
43:18becoming,
43:18there is no
43:19empathy to
43:19becoming,
43:19there is no
43:20virtue to
43:20becoming,
43:21all they will
43:21do is double
43:22down,
43:22and there's
43:22no ghost
43:23in the
43:26person that
43:27is perfect
43:28and moral
43:28and good
43:28and can
43:29take over
43:29at any
43:30time,
43:30right?
43:31If you
43:31have a
43:32long distance
43:33running team,
43:34right,
43:34you've got to
43:35win,
43:35like a relay
43:36race or
43:36something like
43:36that,
43:37you've got to
43:37win,
43:38then you don't
43:38take the
43:39guy who's been
43:41a chain
43:41smoker for
43:4140 years
43:42because he
43:42won't be
43:43able to
43:43run.
43:46There's no,
43:47well,
43:47we've got to
43:48bring him on
43:48the team and
43:49then we've got
43:49to convince
43:49him to run
43:50with his
43:51healthy lungs,
43:51his ghost
43:52healthy lungs.
43:52It's like,
43:53no,
43:53there's no
43:53ghost.
43:53The brain
43:54gets corrupted
43:55by bad
43:55decisions,
43:56like the
43:56truck going
43:57down the
43:57hill,
43:57it's raining,
43:58and the
43:59good news
43:59is if you
44:00make good
44:00decisions,
44:01you don't
44:02even want
44:02to go back
44:02to bad
44:03decisions,
44:03right?
44:05And
44:05every decision
44:08you make
44:08hardens
44:10your brain.
44:14We are
44:14constantly
44:15making decisions
44:15and I've
44:16just written
44:16a whole
44:16novel about
44:17this,
44:17so it's
44:17kind of
44:18on my
44:18mind.
44:18So every
44:19decision
44:19that you
44:19make
44:20hardens
44:20your brain
44:20in a
44:21particular
44:21direction.
44:22You go
44:23from soft
44:23clay to
44:24fired clay
44:25and then
44:26that's who
44:26you are.
44:26And that's
44:27good news.
44:27That's really
44:28good news.
44:28I mean,
44:30I was saying
44:30this to my
44:30wife the
44:30other day,
44:31like we
44:31don't wake
44:31up every
44:32morning saying,
44:32I wonder
44:33who I
44:34married today,
44:34I wonder
44:34what kind
44:35of personality
44:35I'm going
44:36to be
44:37with today,
44:37right?
44:37I mean,
44:38love is
44:39about
44:39predictability,
44:39predictability
44:40is about
44:40integrity,
44:41integrity is
44:42about making
44:42similar decisions.
44:43Like,
44:44I don't wake
44:45up and say,
44:45well,
44:45what can I
44:46do just
44:47for myself
44:47and I don't
44:48care about
44:48my family
44:49or my
44:49friends or
44:50the world.
44:50No,
44:51I wake
44:51up saying,
44:52what good
44:52can I do
44:53to my
44:53family,
44:54my friends,
44:54the world
44:55as a whole
44:55today and
44:57that's the
44:57way that I
44:58roll in that.
44:59I mean,
44:59it happens to
45:00give me great
45:01happiness as well
45:02and it also
45:03helps me avoid
45:04the regret of
45:04having significant
45:05abilities and
45:06wasting them
45:07on transitory
45:08selfishness.
45:10So,
45:12my wife wakes
45:15up and is,
45:15you know,
45:16good-natured and
45:16wonderful and
45:17funny and
45:17affectionate and
45:18all of that
45:19and I know
45:20that's,
45:21so the hardening
45:21of the brain,
45:22so to speak,
45:22is good.
45:24I mean,
45:24I hope that you
45:25don't come to
45:26these shows after
45:2620 years almost
45:27and say,
45:28gee,
45:29I wonder if he's
45:29going to start
45:30promoting
45:30collectivism,
45:31mysticism,
45:32and political
45:33tyranny.
45:34Like,
45:34no,
45:35consistent
45:36non-aggression
45:36principles,
45:37self-ownership,
45:37property rights,
45:38virtue,
45:38free will,
45:39all that kind
45:40of stuff,
45:40right?
45:41So,
45:41consistency is
45:42good and
45:44consistency is
45:45required for
45:45love,
45:46right?
45:46One of the
45:46things about
45:47borderlines is
45:47this is why I
45:48love you,
45:48I hate you,
45:49I hate you,
45:49don't leave me,
45:50that kind of
45:50thing,
45:51right?
45:51It's just all
45:51contradictory.
45:53So,
45:54I think that's
45:55at the essence
45:56of the
45:57disagreement and
45:58why the
46:00Christians say
46:00you either have
46:02to forgive or
46:02it's eternal
46:03torment is
46:05because they
46:07can't say
46:07there are no
46:10diamonds in
46:11the safe.
46:12They can't
46:13walk away
46:14because they
46:15can't walk
46:15away and they
46:16won't get the
46:17satisfaction they
46:17need.
46:18Their only
46:18choice to
46:18reduce the
46:20torment is to
46:21forgive,
46:21forgive,
46:22forgive,
46:22forgive,
46:22and you can't
46:22require that
46:23it's earned
46:23because if it
46:24was earned
46:24that would be
46:25a better
46:25person.
46:26But you
46:26are unfortunately
46:28reinforcing
46:29immorality and
46:31corruption.
46:31You are
46:33paying it.
46:34Once you
46:34give somebody
46:35a reward
46:35called
46:36forgiveness
46:36without
46:36requiring
46:37they earn
46:37it,
46:37you're
46:38actually
46:38rewarding
46:39corruption
46:40and selfishness
46:40and that's
46:41not the
46:41mission.
46:42Whether you're
46:42Christian or
46:43UPP or
46:45I don't know
46:46if there's much
46:47of a third
46:47option for
46:48universal ethics,
46:49but that's
46:50not the
46:50mission.
46:51The mission
46:51is not to
46:51reward
46:52corruption.
46:52So for
46:53men,
46:54it's like
46:54love your
46:56enemies,
46:56sure,
46:57love your
46:57enemies,
46:58which means
46:59require them
46:59to be better
47:00before you
47:03give them
47:04a reward.
47:05You can't
47:05say,
47:07I love
47:11the potential
47:12for hard
47:12work in
47:13my lazy
47:13brother-in-law
47:14so I'm
47:14going to
47:15give him
47:15$10,000 a
47:16month for
47:16doing nothing.
47:17That's actually
47:18harming him,
47:18you understand?
47:20So having
47:20him suffer
47:20negative
47:21consequences
47:21of failing
47:22to work
47:22and not
47:23bailing
47:23him out
47:23is tough
47:24love,
47:24but that's
47:25more of a
47:25male prerogative.
47:27You don't
47:27have tough
47:27love with
47:28babies,
47:28right?
47:28You learn
47:29by falling
47:30down the
47:30stairs,
47:30you don't
47:30do that,
47:31right?
47:32And so I
47:33think that's
47:33the fundamental
47:34distinction.
47:34I'd love to
47:35hear what you
47:35think and I
47:37love you guys
47:38for the
47:38conversations.
47:39It means
47:39everything to
47:40me.
47:40Thank you
47:40so much.
47:41freedomain.com
47:42to help
47:43out the
47:43show and
47:44please post
47:45the
47:45dis
47:46something that
47:47I can't
47:47remember from
47:48Yuri Bezmanov
47:48and I'll
47:49talk to you
47:50soon.
47:50Bye.
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