- 1 week ago
Category
š¹
FunTranscript
00:00For a lot of inmates, jail is a revolving door.
00:12We've learned that inmates without any family support are more likely to return to jail.
00:18Turn around, put your hands on your back.
00:20I'm scared.
00:26I regret knowing this.
00:30You need a change or there is no more support after this.
00:38Enough is enough.
00:45I'm in prison with violent, evicted criminals.
00:48You have to set yourself in war zone mentality.
00:54I'm going to go into a panic attack.
00:56It needs to be at the hospital.
01:00This is your lifeline.
01:05This is the person who's going to help you stay out of jail.
01:08For these inmates, this is their last chance.
01:11This is the opportunity to mend that broken bond and prove to their family members that they're going to get it right this time.
01:18You have to get it together, man.
01:22Like you and my heart now is.
01:32This is my last chance with you, to be honest.
01:35You want to be the cause of death for your mom, you know what I mean?
01:37You're lying to me.
01:38I don't know how much more I can get.
01:54Turn around, put your hands behind your back.
01:56My name is Action, and I'm going to be spending the next 48 hours in the Hampden County Correctional Facility, walking in the footsteps of my father.
02:06Anything to share, Barney?
02:08Nothing, I know.
02:09What's your name?
02:09I have a cell phone.
02:11Your personal cell phone?
02:12Yes.
02:14My dad spent a large part of my youth in and out of prison.
02:17And so, my mother and my grandparents have taken care of me my whole life.
02:22All right.
02:26I've never been inside prison.
02:28I've never visited him, because I'm ashamed of him.
02:30This is the first time I'm seeing my dad in here.
02:42I just want for him to be involved in my life.
02:45But he has to prove that he can be better, that he wants to change, that he has to make it up to me.
02:56Now I think the anxiety is kicking out a little bit.
02:59He has to give me a reason to be proud of him.
03:03All right.
03:05I'm doing this whole experience for my dad, so we can fix our relationship and he doesn't come back to jail.
03:15My name is Scott.
03:27I've been out of jail about four times.
03:32In 2015, I got sentenced to a five to seven year bid for an armed robbery.
03:37And now I'm charged with assault and battery.
03:41I got an 18-month sentence and it's supposed to be a year probation, but I gave myself an extra year somehow.
03:45So now it's two years probation.
03:46I grew up in projects, running the streets.
03:53By 12 years old, I'm kicked out of the school system.
03:57I chose streets over everyone, you know what I'm saying?
04:01And then drugs came in the mix.
04:04It was on the 4th of July.
04:06I'm sitting on the roof of my house smoking crack with my dad.
04:08And my dad said this was the best 4th of July he had with me.
04:16I have four kids.
04:17I had my first kid at 16 years old.
04:21I've always wanted to have a relationship with all my kids.
04:23But at the end of the day, I tried to stay away.
04:27Because I was scared that they would end up like me.
04:30Some way, somehow, I would have an influence.
04:35And now I just let them all down.
04:38I got three kids that don't even talk to me.
04:40No matter how hard I tried to see them.
04:44But Ashton kept himself in my life.
04:46And he's all I have.
04:48But I know he's ashamed of me.
04:52All I want is a better relationship with my son.
04:55And to prove to him that I can be better.
04:58I want to try to be a father.
05:00My dad was abusive, drug addict.
05:02And I've had another role model in my life.
05:05And that's the problem, because I don't know how to be a father.
05:09Secure all those things.
05:22Take copy, stand by.
05:26Being someone who's never been in trouble before,
05:29this is kind of a surreal experience.
05:32I'm in prison with real criminals that have been arrested off the street.
05:48It's a bit intimidating.
05:49I mean, the process itself is definitely, like, dehumanizing.
05:59You just got to do a visual shift search.
06:01Big offshore and everything.
06:02Yeah.
06:02Yeah.
06:02I'm good.
06:06I'm good.
06:08Yep.
06:08Turn around.
06:09Bombs of both feet.
06:10Good.
06:11Maybe you just got to bend out the waist and spread.
06:13Yeah.
06:15Yeah.
06:15Just bend out the waist and spread.
06:16Yep.
06:17Good.
06:17The thing that, like, got through to me the most was,
06:21yeah, I get naked in a bunch in front of people.
06:23I did not like that.
06:24That got under my skin.
06:25It just instantly makes you feel like an animal.
06:27So you can drop that pool box by a chair over there,
06:31just on the side of it.
06:33And then you see the chair again.
06:34My dad has four kids, three baby mamas.
06:53There's me and my mom.
06:54My older sister and younger brother both have the same mother,
06:57and then my oldest brother, different mother.
07:01As far as I know, they don't like him.
07:03I'm the only one that talks to him.
07:06Just hold the sides, face forward, and then just don't move.
07:08It's just going to go left and then right.
07:10I'm a person who doesn't hate anybody.
07:13I'm a person who understands that things don't always go
07:16according to plan.
07:18Okay, good.
07:18You can step down and then go see the officer over there.
07:21Just going to go left right here.
07:23My whole relationship with my dad has been, like, up and down.
07:26What's your contention?
07:27I don't have one right now.
07:29When I was around 11 or 12,
07:31he went to jail for six years
07:33when he robbed a bank
07:35because his father had debts
07:38that he had to pay off for drugs.
07:42You can just wipe off your hands.
07:44Make sure there's no oils or anything on there.
07:47When I first heard about it,
07:48it was really like a hit in the gut.
07:50First four fingers.
07:52And now he's currently in jail again.
07:55Okay, I'll do four.
07:56He let me down in a large way.
08:00Clap one.
08:02So he has to work on giving a reason to be there
08:06when he gets out.
08:19All right, Willie, this wet hair is moving.
08:21I care about my dad enough
08:22to be in this prison for him, with him.
08:26No!
08:27Yes, this is it!
08:28Yeah!
08:30I didn't know what I was going to say.
08:32But it's a little bit nerve-wracking
08:34knowing that I'm going to be locked up
08:36with, you know, real convicted criminals.
08:39I'm walking up to the cell,
09:05everyone around me screaming at me.
09:06Everyone in the pod is saying things like,
09:15Eww!
09:19There's a bunch of loud noises.
09:22It's going to be working for me.
09:24These guys are intimidating.
09:26You've got face tattoos.
09:28Big guys, small guys,
09:29all yelling at me from the chairs,
09:32from the top cells.
09:33It's all one big room.
09:38There's no hiding in that pod.
09:42And me, I'm just a 20-year-old kid, you know.
09:48I've got, like, a clean record, everything like that.
09:51I'm like,
09:52Oh, f***.
09:52This is a prison.
09:58This is a bad place.
09:59There's real trouble bankers,
10:01which is a very dangerous thing.
10:04And I'm going to be locked in here
10:05for the next 48 hours with them.
10:11I am very nervous and very intimidated.
10:15Because bad things can happen to me.
10:17I shouldn't be in prison.
10:19I think this was a mistake.
10:36I'm still in, like, a bit of shock,
10:37a little bit.
10:38Like, oh, yeah, I'm in prison.
10:40This is a bad place.
10:40It's a place full of criminals,
10:42people who spent their lives doing crime,
10:44everything from small to big.
10:46Like, you know, bad things can happen.
10:48Everything can change in the snap of a finger.
10:51So I need to figure out
10:52if there's somebody that, like,
10:54I need to actively avoid,
10:55if there's, like, a group
10:56or something like that, you know.
11:01What's up?
11:09That's just usually what they say
11:10when you come in, you know?
11:12No flip-flops in the day room.
11:13Okay, so I don't think that one.
11:14Yeah.
11:15So.
11:16So I need to go.
11:21Hey, I'm my son.
11:23How you doing, man?
11:24My name is Dimitri.
11:26Action.
11:27Good to meet you, Dimitri.
11:28Good to meet you, brother.
11:29You gotta give me a jailhouse name.
11:31You can call me whatever you wish.
11:33What do you want to be called?
11:34And I'll be called whenever I want.
11:36Nah, what do you reason?
11:37I want to be called whatever you want.
11:40You want to be lost by this girl?
11:42We're going to call you Baby Thor.
11:51You're a big boy.
11:53You've never really had a nickname in my life.
11:54Okay.
11:56Bear.
11:56I love it.
11:57Bear.
11:58That's your name, Bear.
12:00He's thirsty.
12:01Look at him.
12:01Ready to go.
12:03Yeah.
12:03Hey, you're a bear.
12:12I'm going to get you together after, um, after a count.
12:15I'm going to do you.
12:16I'm the best braider in the gym.
12:18I'll let you have fun with me.
12:19Everyone starts calling me Bear, and it's a very scary, intimidating thing, you know?
12:30I don't like it.
12:31Those terrible things can happen to me.
12:33You ready?
12:48I'm about to twist the f*** up.
12:50You braiding him up?
12:50Yeah, I'm about to get him wet.
12:51Hold on.
12:52Go on, go.
12:53You know what I'm saying?
12:54I got the section right there, white girl section.
12:58I got the urban section.
12:59Oh, you got her f***ing organized.
13:01Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
13:02Nice and clean, it's more fresh in here, right?
13:04I like it.
13:05Yeah.
13:06I'm going to get you together now.
13:07Go!
13:08Go!
13:09You got her shine now.
13:12You're going at it.
13:14Okay.
13:15That's your first noise.
13:17You're ready to go.
13:18All that.
13:19Everything.
13:19Go!
13:21Go!
13:26Go!
13:26Go!
13:26Go!
13:27Go!
13:27Go!
13:27Go!
13:27Go!
13:28Go!
13:29Go!
13:29Go!
13:29Go!
13:29Go!
13:29Go!
13:29Go!
13:30Go!
13:30Go!
13:30Go!
13:31Go!
13:31Go!
13:32Go!
13:32Go!
13:34Something's going down.
13:35We have to, like, lock up now, like, right away.
13:38Am I allowed to ask the question why we're locking down?
13:43I don't know anything about these men, how they're going to act, behave, anything like
13:47that.
13:48Yeah, it's nerve-wracking.
13:49It's been anxiety-enthusing, because you never know what's going to happen.
13:54For my dad being in prison with very dangerous criminals, that's his normal.
14:02I don't know how he can survive in a place like this every day.
14:15I don't know how he can survive in a place like this every day.
14:18I don't know how he can drive.
14:20What's happened?
14:29That was me.
14:29First night in a cell, it was a little weird, it's uncomfortable.
14:31I'm just exhausted at that point from the long day.
14:37but I can't totally sleep.
14:41I woke up a couple of times throughout the night
14:43and looked out my window to see the guard out the window.
14:46I went, uh, that's creepy.
14:48But one of the biggest hopes I had, you know,
14:50sitting there awake was, you know,
14:52I hope I get to spend the day with my dad tomorrow.
15:07Yes, my name's Unit Manager Devine.
15:21How's it going?
15:22All right.
15:23I know you've been here for a night.
15:25Yep.
15:26We had a small disturbance in the unit last night.
15:29I don't know if you noticed anybody getting moved out of here.
15:31I don't know specifically what happened.
15:33I just...
15:34Okay.
15:34So we ended up actually moving him
15:37because he had made a threat to an officer
15:40stating that he may assault you.
15:43So we moved that individual to restrictive housing.
15:47Knowing that that happened with that individual,
15:49do you feel safe in here
15:50and do you want to still be a part of the program?
15:57I'll stay. I'll be fine.
15:59Sure.
16:01Yes.
16:01I think one of the issues is at one point
16:04you might have been in another person's cell.
16:06Nice and clean.
16:07It's more fresh in here, right?
16:08I like it.
16:10I'm going to get you together, though.
16:11You know what I'm saying?
16:12We got to just shine now.
16:15You know that.
16:18It's not allowed.
16:19So if you don't live in the cell,
16:21you can't be in there.
16:22So I think he may have been upset
16:23that you came in another inmate's cell.
16:25So in the future,
16:28if you happen to go into somebody's cell
16:30where you don't live,
16:31we're going to have to restrict you to your cell
16:33and issue you the ticket.
16:37Obviously, it's for your safety reasons
16:38as well as theirs.
16:40You know, we don't want anything happening to you
16:42in a cell that we can't see.
16:43Yeah.
16:44So just stay in plain view
16:45unless you let the officer know
16:46you're going to be somewhere.
16:47All right.
16:47From here on out, all right?
16:48That's it.
16:49Okay.
16:49So having somebody, you know,
16:54especially my first day in prison,
16:56want to, you know,
16:57assault me for some reason
16:58that he's willing to go to the hole for it,
17:00yeah, it's a little weird.
17:01It's uncomfortable.
17:03In my life, I never really had enemies.
17:06Not many people ever really want to hurt me.
17:09But if it comes to worst,
17:10I'll defend myself.
17:11Don't want to, but I will.
17:17Makes me a little bit anxious
17:18being locked in a place
17:19where violent people are locked up
17:22because you never know what's going to happen.
17:38I'm a little nervous about Ashley,
17:40you know what I'm saying?
17:41I think I'm more nervous about it than he is.
17:46I've been out of jail my whole life.
17:48I'm used to it.
17:50I can adapt to it.
17:52He's not.
17:55Like, I wish I was able to protect him.
17:57I wish I was able to protect him by the Lord.
18:02I wish I could protect him,
18:02but I wish I could protect him.
18:02Here he comes.
18:16Good, how about you?
18:18This is Counselor Gonzalez.
18:19So, listen, we want to answer any questions that you might have with your father in terms of, you know, programming that's available to him or what he's been into.
18:27What kind of programming?
18:28I know he told me that he's done, like, pretty much everything, but...
18:33Do you know what Prison Industries is?
18:34No.
18:35It's a vocational trade shop where they do anything from sewing, they make the uniforms, they make our mattresses.
18:41So he was working down there at one point, but what he was doing is he was making some money on the side, tampering with the bracelets that you have on your wrist.
18:49So you see how that's clipped right there?
18:50Yep.
18:50And then you see the buttons on your jumpsuit?
18:53So he got caught altering IDs for other inmates.
18:56Essentially what it does is it's easy to put on and off.
19:00And it's kind of a big deal.
19:01Let's say, for instance, you and somebody else switched IDs, you know, you may be able to get somewhere inside the facility that you're not supposed to be.
19:08Especially if there's an enemy issue, that it could be a serious issue.
19:11Yeah.
19:12He had a job at one point.
19:14You know, he had the opportunity to make some money, and because of that, he lost his job.
19:18Your father was altering IDs for other inmates, and because of that, he lost his job.
19:30So this is obviously a shock, Rio.
19:31Oh, yeah.
19:32When they told me that he got fired for the job, it made me a little bit mad, because he wasn't really thinking too much about the consequences or the implications of doing that would have.
19:45Does that make you a little more aware of stuff?
19:47I mean, I've had major trust issues with him my whole life.
19:52One of the big arguments that we got into before he came in here was he borrowed money from me.
19:56Yeah.
19:57He told me that he'd pay me back with the car insurance claim that he was supposed to get.
20:01Mm-hmm.
20:01But I didn't really get my money back.
20:04And it was the fact that you lied to me.
20:07Right.
20:07And I don't do that.
20:08So that's a sense of distrust, right?
20:10Yes.
20:10That's something that you hold deeply.
20:12Yeah.
20:13Like, this is some of the stuff I feel like I'd like you to see you get into with your father later on today when you have the opportunity.
20:20Yeah.
20:20The point of this program is to help shed light to some of that maybe dishonesty, to help strengthen your relationship overall.
20:27So those are some things that he has to hear to get out of here, and that might help him naturally.
20:31Change his life, make some changes, yeah.
20:33This is an opportunity you won't ever get again.
20:42Scott, your time with the facilitators here?
20:51You're going to go up, have your session with her and your son?
20:55My relationship with my son is, I'm going to say, not too good.
20:59My relationship with my dad is strained.
21:09My father has spent a majority of my life, you know, locked behind bars.
21:15Kind of like talking to a ghost.
21:19Scott, just have a seat right here facing this way.
21:21There you go.
21:24I know what type of person I was.
21:27I know what I should have been, and I wasn't.
21:32I think it's an important thing for us to understand each other better.
21:36I know he's got to be mad at me.
21:39I don't know if this will improve our relationship, or completely destroy it.
21:57You know, I love you, kid.
22:05I love you, too.
22:10That was the f***ing time, huh?
22:13I love you.
22:17Don't look good on you.
22:18At least it's comfortable.
22:28Well, you would find a positive side to it, huh?
22:33Feels good now.
22:34I was very nervous about seeing you.
22:38Oh.
22:39Hey, guys.
22:40How are you?
22:41All right.
22:41How about something?
22:42Good, good.
22:43Good.
22:43Good.
22:43Good.
22:43Good.
22:43Good.
22:43Good.
22:48Good to see you, both.
22:53How has the last 24 hours been, Ashton?
22:56For me, it was fine.
22:57Except someone went to the hole.
22:59They told me, like, earlier this morning that he apparently made, like, some offhand comment
23:04about assaulting me or hurting me.
23:07So they took that very seriously and took him out.
23:09So, I'll beat the schnaught out of that piece of f***.
23:13Okay.
23:14Hold up.
23:15He didn't touch him.
23:18He thought about it.
23:20But you're trying to stay out of here.
23:21I am.
23:21I'm good.
23:23I'm concerned.
23:25No, I'm for real.
23:25I'm good.
23:26I'm all right.
23:27You sure?
23:27Yeah, because they know better.
23:29I'm going home.
23:30I'm not ruining my chances.
23:34Hopefully, this time, things will go a little smoother.
23:36Stop hitting these bumps in the road.
23:39When you get out this time, do you plan on being more present in everything?
23:42I could always say yes, but then life just gets a hold of you.
23:51Just spend some f***ing time with me.
23:55On countless occasions, I said, hey, you want to go out to breakfast?
23:58Yeah.
23:58But then, as I don't have the money, now I don't want to go out to breakfast and I'll be
24:01out there.
24:02I don't care about money.
24:03I don't care about the expensive stuff.
24:04I don't care what financial situation you're in.
24:06Just spend time with me.
24:07That's what matters to me.
24:08And don't f***ing lie to me.
24:16My whole issue was that you borrowed $1,500 from me, but I didn't really get my money
24:21back.
24:23I wasn't supposed to go that way.
24:25You skimped me out of $1,500.
24:27I'm a little f***ing pissed because that was kind of all of the money I made from the current
24:32job I was working at over the summer.
24:34I'd rather get the truth and not get anything than expect something and be lied to.
24:40You betrayed, like, the last person that was, like, on your side.
24:44So, you should be ashamed of yourself.
24:49I get it, but I can't help the way that things turned out.
24:52What the f*** is this s***?
24:54Like, he knows money's at the top of my list.
24:56That's why he was scared of me when he borrowed money from me.
24:59You robbed a bank for your dad, but you couldn't pay me $1,500.
25:03That's a little bit of a problem.
25:04I should be asking you for assistance.
25:06You should not be asking me.
25:09Everything I know how to do in my life, I figured out on my own.
25:12I figured out how to do video editing.
25:13I figured out how to do photography.
25:14I didn't have a mentor to teach me anything.
25:16Nah.
25:17Bro, you just annoyed me when you said that.
25:19Your grandparents do everything.
25:23You want to be selfish, say you learned it.
25:24They pushed you to learn it.
25:26And so don't, don't say that.
25:27You think your mom didn't teach you nothing?
25:29Like, you're bugging, bro.
25:30If they weren't in your life, you wouldn't be where you're at.
25:32Oh, they definitely helped me out in life.
25:35Just that phrase bothered me.
25:37When you said about me not paying them back the money, that I was scared.
25:41That phrase bothered me, too.
25:42Because, boy, I ain't scared about a f*** thing.
25:45I ain't scared of anybody in this f***ing jail.
25:47I've been at guns in my head, everything.
25:49If you think you're scaring me, I'm out of here.
25:58Boy, I ain't scared of a f***ing thing.
26:00I ain't scared of anybody in this f***ing jail.
26:02I've been at guns in my head, everything.
26:04If you think you're scaring me, I'm out of here.
26:09Come on, bro.
26:10You just got me f***ed up.
26:11I was ashamed.
26:16When I came home last time, I just wanted to keep my word.
26:19I just wanted to show everybody I was different.
26:21You know what I'm saying?
26:21Like, I tried 100% just to prove I'm a different person.
26:24You know what I'm saying?
26:25So, like, when it came to paying them back, like, I wanted to keep my word, and things
26:28just went backward.
26:29Like, before, I can leave a job and have four jobs lined up the next day, to where now it's
26:33every job interview I go to, I have to tell you, yes, I'm convicted of a felony.
26:38No, scared to disappoint?
26:39Yes.
26:39Because now, at this point, I'm like, damn, everything's going back to everybody's, you
26:44know what I'm saying?
26:44Like, I just wanted to keep my words for once.
26:46I just wanted everything to go right for once, and it just didn't.
26:55Did you feel hurt?
26:57Yes.
26:59I never thought our relationship would be like this, that we'd have, like, this type of argument,
27:03especially, like, over money.
27:05Like I said, it wasn't supposed to go that way.
27:07And I should have planned that it wasn't going to go, it probably went that way, but...
27:14That f***ing wasn't supposed to.
27:16You have to do things differently, okay?
27:23I always know that.
27:25Okay.
27:25I know I have to do things differently.
27:27And I also want you to meet him, what his needs are.
27:31So we already know that quality time is one of them.
27:35So that's your homework.
27:37Okay.
27:37Okay.
27:46We have to get things out on the table,
28:11with each other.
28:13I'm ashamed that I let my son down.
28:15And I'm trying to change that right now.
28:17This is what you're about to cook, Ashton.
28:19Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
28:24Instead of this just being a visit,
28:27I want to show him, like, I'm trying to change.
28:30What does a family person do?
28:33Eat some dinner and, you know what I'm saying,
28:34just hang out and actually check on him
28:36and see how he's doing and things like that.
28:38Three cheeses, three soups,
28:40a salmon, a mackerel,
28:42and two meat sticks.
28:44That's what I'm giving him to make this box meal.
28:46So I'm going to have Mike to chef this up for us
28:48so I can take my son out to dinner.
28:51You know what I'm saying?
28:52My way.
28:54All right, so this is what we're doing here.
28:56We throw some rice, some soups,
28:59some black spicy beans, some chili,
29:02and we've got the meat sticks,
29:03season them up with some Kool-Aid,
29:05call it bonus spirits,
29:07and we eat good.
29:08We don't like the food from here,
29:10so that's how we do it.
29:11Do you have a box?
29:12Anybody else got a box in the bar?
29:13I need two boxes.
29:14Yep.
29:16So, hence, the box to make the box meal.
29:20Good job.
29:21That's too short.
29:22I don't like it.
29:23It don't look as pretty as this one.
29:25Thank you, though.
29:26A for effort.
29:29Everything in prison is made the prison way.
29:33You know, they're holding in the trash can.
29:35They're heating things up in the sink.
29:38This is called a box meal.
29:39Pretty self-explanatory when you look at it.
29:42It's in a box.
29:45We're trying to make this happen.
29:47It don't come out the same.
29:48It don't come out the same.
29:49It don't.
29:50The ingredients and stuff are different.
29:51Everything is just different.
29:53They're good, though, right?
29:54Yeah.
29:55Seeing the special sauce put on.
29:57That's the best part right here.
29:58That's the best part.
29:59Yep.
29:59That's the best part.
29:59That's the best part.
30:00He did a little bit of a splurge to have him make me a big ol' spread.
30:07So I got this special treatment.
30:09Good appƩtit.
30:10Good appƩtit.
30:11I want to see you when you take a little fruit bite.
30:15You want to try the chicken?
30:17Yeah.
30:17Yeah.
30:21Pretty good.
30:23Pretty good, right?
30:24That actually wasn't too bad.
30:26The first initial bites, they were pretty rockin'.
30:30As I dug further down, I was like, eh, okay.
30:34It was kind of like the top layer of cheese that made it so good.
30:38Like the sauces, all that, you know?
30:40That's got spice.
30:41It is, right?
30:42Eating like things in here.
30:44All right, say so, G.
30:46Hey!
30:46Hey!
30:49Hanging out with my son is a great thing.
30:52I would like us to find a common ground to just know each other.
30:55because at the end of the day, I can't say I know my son.
31:00Hey, now it's me.
31:00That's my fault.
31:01That's my shame.
31:03Now I realize I live my life all wrong.
31:06All right, I love you, man.
31:07I love you, man.
31:08I love you.
31:09You're your hurt.
31:11No.
31:11I love you, kid.
31:14I'm ashamed that I let my son down.
31:18I never meant to be this person.
31:19I know you know that I'm a kind person.
31:24Mm-hmm.
31:25And that I wish I had done what I offered him.
31:31I don't know.
32:01My dad, it was a good bonding for the two of us.
32:07It is bittersweet, because it's like, I get to see my dad for the first time in a while.
32:10We're having a great time together, but, you know, I know there's problems that we have to work through.
32:16Hey.
32:16How are you?
32:17I'm well. How are you guys?
32:18Good.
32:19All right.
32:20Good, good. Good to see you.
32:21And yourself as well.
32:23Okay, so, do we have more we need to discuss so that we can make the relationship stronger
32:28to help your dad get out of this cycle of incarceration?
32:33So, the last time you spent 24 hours with him was when?
32:37Before he went in the first time.
32:39Okay, how old were you then?
32:41Eleven.
32:41Okay.
32:44Did you guys feel that she connected?
32:46Yeah, I had fun with him.
32:48He broke up my day very, very much.
32:51Okay.
32:51He always seemed to make me feel good, you know?
32:54And I just appreciate all that.
32:57He says sitting in prison with his son named Bear.
32:59It's a better encounter than I had with my father, so, I mean, if I would have had this encounter
33:07with my dad, it might have been a little different.
33:10But, you know, at the end of the day, I don't know how you feel about me.
33:17Me and my dad were the same kind.
33:18We're the same person.
33:20I don't think you're the same person.
33:24Yeah, but it's still a different type of neglect, you know?
33:27But, I can't blame him.
33:31Like, at some point in time, I did start making my own choices.
33:35I did.
33:36You just always met them with the wrong people, done dumb things.
33:40But, I just felt like I let you down for being back in here, you know what I'm saying?
33:44Like, my dude, you know what I mean?
33:46Like, I was embarrassed to let him down.
33:49But it also, now it's like, I gotta change, because I don't want to keep failing, you know
33:53what I'm saying?
33:54So.
33:57However I've been there or not been there, you know, I've always felt about that.
34:03I apologize for that.
34:06Ashton, what do you feel that he missed out on?
34:09I mean, he missed out on a lot of my life from going and robbing the bank and everything
34:14like that.
34:16But, I mean, even growing up, I really only saw him on weekends and stuff like that.
34:20And sometimes I go over there and I wouldn't even get to see him on the weekends because
34:23he'd be out working.
34:25So.
34:26And, that's me, like, going to school, Christmases, Thanksgivings, just general time stuff together.
34:33It makes me feel bad that I didn't spend more time.
34:40And that's all it was, was just to spend time.
34:43You know what I mean?
34:44But, I wish I knew before, like, how important it was to be in your life and not realize, like,
34:52my whole mindset was always, you're good.
34:55You know what I'm saying?
34:55Your mom's great.
34:56You've got a great family.
34:58And that's what I always thought mattered, that you were good.
35:01Like, I knew my kids don't get in trouble.
35:03But, I didn't know there's more to it.
35:09That's my fault.
35:10That's my shame.
35:11You know what I mean?
35:12And, you know, I can't get over that sometimes.
35:14And, I apologize to you for that, you know?
35:19And, now that you're at this older stage, I just always wonder, what do I have to offer you?
35:29What do you think about what your dad's saying?
35:34He's known he's f***ed up in my life.
35:37That's not going to fix itself in 24 hours.
35:40And, if he does do the same, then he's going to lose me.
35:55He's known he's f***ed up in my life.
35:57That's not going to fix itself in 24 hours.
36:00And, if he does do the same, then he's going to lose me.
36:05But, now I know better.
36:12And, why do you want to be better this time?
36:15Just, my kids in general, myself.
36:18Just, to have a better life in general.
36:20To see a different way.
36:21Like, because I don't like who I used to be.
36:24Like, at one point in time, who I was is who I thought I always had to be.
36:28Never expect to be alive, past 25.
36:35But, I'm tired of that weight.
36:37And, I'm just tired.
36:39Do you believe him?
36:40He's just got to go out of his way to not f*** it up for himself.
36:45Not talk to the wrong people.
36:46Not do the wrong things.
36:49I just got to try a little more.
36:50Not give up so much and not so be hard on myself, I guess, sometimes.
36:54See, his problem is he thinks everyone has given up on him.
37:00Not everyone's given up on you.
37:02The people you think gave up on you still have hope for you.
37:13At the end of the day, Ashton, you just always give me a chance.
37:18And, I appreciate that.
37:24And, you know that I'm a f*** up.
37:26It is what it is.
37:29Never.
37:32I can't take that.
37:37But, as long as you know I do love you.
37:49I'll love you, kid.
37:50This moment's probably the most genuine moment that happened between us in years.
38:04That is progress.
38:08Okay, so, question.
38:11Question, are you going to be there for your dad when he gets out?
38:14I don't make promises.
38:19I know I'm not going to keep.
38:20So, I don't know.
38:24He wants to change.
38:26All right, would you leave?
38:27I'm hoping.
38:29But, you know, it's not an easy thing to do.
38:32So, he's time's up with us.
38:34We're going to pack up your stuff.
38:36But, like, if he says he's going to do something...
38:39Love you, kid.
38:41...he better do it.
38:42You're welcome.
38:43I won't be there if he does something to basically screw me over, screw over someone in the family again.
38:50Then he's going to lose me, obviously.
38:52So, it's up to him.
39:15Yep.
39:16Hey, morning, Scott.
39:17Morning.
39:17Just got the phone with intake.
39:19Pack it along and head on down there, all right?
39:21All right, thank you.
39:22Yep.
39:22Look.
39:26So, today's my release date.
39:28Now I'm being transferred to a residential program, sober house.
39:32Ready to get this bit over with.
39:36Been a little while.
39:38I'll be there for a couple months, but I have a little bit more freedom.
39:41So, I'll be able to go to work, see my girlfriend, see my family, and do a little bit more things.
39:46See you later.
39:49We are out of here.
39:50This is the end of my journey, and this is the end of my journey, and I don't plan on coming back.
39:54I'm wasting too much of my life here, and I can't do it in a while.
40:00I made it through it thanks to the support from Ashton.
40:03And I don't think he knows how grateful I am for him for that, but I do, and I love him to death.
40:10And I judge myself for not being the person I should have been for him.
40:14Just for once, I want to keep my words to Ashton.
40:16Show him, like, when I come home, everything was going to be different this time.
40:20I want to be a father and spend time with him.
40:27This is for you.
40:29All right.
40:29Good, good, good.
40:31I'm out of here.
40:31Let's go.
40:34I'm kind of a little nervous about Ashton not being there.
40:37But it would be nice to actually see him out there and give him a hug and see him supporting me.
40:47Hi.
40:49I love you, kid.
40:54I hope that fixing the relationship with my dad will, you know, help him keep him on the right path.
41:00Thank you for being here.
41:03I love you, kid.
41:04I'm a bit of a realist, so, I mean...
41:07He's still going back to where he lived before, which is still not a good area.
41:11All the same people are still there.
41:13Obviously, I don't want him to end up in a place like this again because he's spent a majority of my life in prison.
41:20So I have a healthy skepticism of what will actually happen in the future.
41:27So I appreciate you coming, though.
41:28You don't look good in yellow.
41:29I mean...
41:30Usually criminals try not to be seen.
41:32I'm not a criminal.
41:33I'm reformed.
41:35You know what I'm saying?
41:37Since he was first released, it was fine, originally.
41:48The last time I hung out with him was Father's Day.
41:51We went out to lunch.
41:52I paid for that lunch, which was fine.
41:56And then my mother came down to visit a couple weeks later.
41:59He insulted my mother, and I did not take that lightly.
42:03And so, I just cut contact with him.
42:07It really wasn't worth my time or effort to continue dealing with it.
42:12I don't know.
42:13I don't know.
42:13I don't know.
42:15It was a long time of adventure.
42:16I don't know.
42:17I was like, oh, you know.
42:19I'm sorry.
42:20I don't know.
42:21I don't know.
42:21I'm sorry.
42:22I don't know.
42:22I don't know.
Recommended
1:04:04
|
Up next
48:17
22:21
24:54
25:16
44:55
45:58
0:30
2:45
9:01
20:01
20:07
26:35
42:31
1:03:47
1:02:42
44:54
57:30
1:08:45
49:48
43:41
43:01
44:24
45:40
Be the first to comment