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My Big Fat Fabulous Life (2015) Season 13 Episode 6- If You're Witchy and You Know It
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00:00Okay, wait, no, no, no, no, wait, I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready.
00:02Previously on My Big Fat Fabulous Life, it is literally my first time trying artificial insemination.
00:08Three, two, one.
00:11Oh.
00:13Not.
00:14Unfortunately, I'm still not pregnant.
00:16Yeah, it's just back to the drawing board.
00:19We're on our way to Boston and Salem.
00:22This girl's trip could not have come soon enough.
00:26Oh, f***.
00:27I didn't come back!
00:28I started listening to this podcast called Two Girls, One Ghost, hosted by Sabrina and
00:34Corinne.
00:35We're channeling demons, Angie.
00:36We're not calling demons.
00:39Diamonds.
00:40Oh, it's not demons.
00:42Oh, no, ma'am.
00:43They've agreed to show us all the spooky stuff around Salem.
00:47If there are any spirits here, you can form words and let us know.
00:50Are you looking for me?
00:52Nope.
00:55So we've actually been to the Henry Derby house before,
00:58and it is probably the most haunted house in Salem.
01:01There's a man here.
01:03What a lovely man.
01:04Jessica's father.
01:06Anyone here looking for love?
01:07You're looking for love.
01:08I'm scared.
01:09I just turned 40.
01:11I'm almost 41.
01:12Women are having babies at 45 now.
01:15Do not think you're done.
01:16Ashley, come on!
01:17I love that cuddle coming.
01:18I love that cuddle coming.
01:20I love that cuddle coming.
01:25Ooh, look at this spread.
01:41Oh, Angie.
01:42This is fancy.
01:43Good morning.
01:45Hey, mama.
01:46I know, right?
01:47Are y'all hungry?
01:48Yes, thank you.
01:50Where's Whitney?
01:51Angie, thank you so much.
01:52What is she?
01:53She is?
01:54I am nursing Courtney.
01:57How do you have her?
01:58Why is she on your feet?
02:00This is not OK.
02:01Did you ask for her permission?
02:02She was hungry.
02:03She came to me.
02:04She won't.
02:06Roll it up.
02:07This trip to Massachusetts has been a whirlwind
02:10of emotions for me, but it's all been really positive.
02:14And waking up in Salem in a haunted house, that's next level.
02:19I've been having breastfeeding dreams.
02:22You need to keep her off your teeth.
02:23It's unhealthy.
02:24The feeling of nourishing something.
02:26What are you nourishing?
02:27There's a porcelain doll laying on your teeth.
02:29You're not nourishing anything.
02:31Oh, my God.
02:32Her mental illness.
02:36I was not touched physically last night by a ghost.
02:39I'll say that.
02:40But I did have some crazy dreams.
02:43So I don't know what the house is trying to tell me.
02:46I don't know if maybe that's a good omen.
02:48I have no idea.
02:51I had an appointment with my doctor,
02:53and she brought up insemination.
02:55See?
02:55But the thing that they do when you go in the office
02:58is a little more, like, foolproof.
03:00Well, right.
03:01So you are going to go to the doctor?
03:02I'll go to the doctor, yeah.
03:03I think so.
03:04Well, let me know when I'm going to book a flight.
03:07I want to go.
03:07Aw, big sister.
03:09Aw.
03:09I want to go.
03:10I mean, yeah, that's important.
03:11You're so sweet.
03:12My first at-home insemination attempt failed.
03:16So I'm going to have my second vial of sperm sent directly to my doctor
03:20so a professional can inseminate me, hopefully better.
03:25I'm trying not to have too much anxiety about the outcome, but the truth is that I'm about
03:31to turn 41, and I am definitely very, very aware that my time is running out.
03:40So somebody tell what they thought.
03:43Oh, the seance?
03:44Well, I've never been happier, Leanne said, and she was with mom, and mom was just-
03:48I liked Leanne a lot.
03:49Mm-hmm.
03:50She's a very calming presence.
03:51Mm-hmm.
03:52You know, I was so scared to ask about dad.
03:53Mm-hmm.
03:54Because I just knew he wouldn't participate in that, and it would have broke my heart.
04:00Right.
04:01So when she just out of nowhere said that, and I was like, oh my gosh, my daddy does love
04:05me.
04:06The whole time, I was sitting there talking to your dad, and I was like, Will, if you
04:09don't want it together.
04:13But that felt so, that was, aw.
04:21That was the first, like, really cool, like, good moment I've had since he died, like, in
04:26relation to him.
04:27You know, everything's just been so sad, and right now I'm holding on to all the bad stuff,
04:32like how sick he was, and, you know, all the stuff we had to do to take care of him.
04:36It's like, I don't really remember the good stuff, but, you know, all the stuff that Leanne
04:41brought up was just funny and made me feel like, you know, that was like the fun dad again.
04:45Mm-hmm.
04:46So that was a really cool moment.
04:47That was a lot to me.
04:48Because he wants you to feel that.
04:49He wants you to be happy.
04:50Yeah.
04:51Thank you for bringing us up here to do this.
04:52Yes.
04:53Of course.
04:54And how did you feel?
04:56You know, I haven't seen or witnessed anything yet that's, like, converted me into, like,
05:02a legitimate believer.
05:03But, yeah, I'm having a great time.
05:05I can tell you're having a great time in a way that concerns me a little bit, because
05:09when I said yesterday that, like, oh, I could move here, how quickly you said, oh, yeah,
05:14me too, and you love to move somewhere.
05:16Like, I went down a rabbit hole last night thinking about, well, Whitney's probably going
05:19to move here.
05:20She's going to do like she did Charlotte and be like, all right, well, and then just
05:23be gone.
05:24Courtney, pack your bag.
05:25Mm-mm.
05:26You can't take Courtney.
05:27She must stay here.
05:28You're going to have to move here if you want to stay with Courtney.
05:31Clearly, everyone understands that I am itching to get out of Greensboro.
05:37And I am falling in love with Salem.
05:39But I haven't made any plans to move.
05:42And I'm just now kind of wrapping my brain around when that could happen, how that could
05:46happen.
05:47But it is a tantalizing idea to chew on.
05:51Courtney?
05:52Don't take her out this house.
05:54She doesn't want to go outside of these walls.
05:56Okay.
05:57All right, let's go get ready, y'all.
05:58Come on, Courtney.
05:59I'm sorry I let that happen.
06:00Love you, Courtney.
06:01Hello.
06:02Woo-hoo.
06:03Good good.
06:04Good good.
06:05Good good.
06:06Good good.
06:07Good good.
06:08Good good.
06:09Good good.
06:10Good good.
06:11Good good.
06:12Good good.
06:13Good good.
06:14Did you guys bring your brooms?
06:15It's perfect weather for flying.
06:17This wind.
06:18I don't have my witch's license yet.
06:20How'd you all sleep in the haunted house?
06:22I slept okay.
06:23Did you?
06:24Yeah.
06:25Having Corinne and Sabrina show us around Salem is so exciting.
06:29They are baby witches and they love all the dark, spooky, macabre sides of everything.
06:35How can you not have fun with two girls who hunt ghosts?
06:40My hate was, well, it was a small hate.
06:43Okay.
06:44I was jolted awake by the howling wind and it was 3.33 a.m.
06:51I had a witching hour hanged.
06:52And at 3.33.
06:53Spooky.
06:54Well, we're going to the witch museum.
06:57I can't wait.
06:58Where?
06:59Oh, it's okay.
07:00It's right there.
07:01Oh, yeah.
07:02And then the giant church looking building.
07:04And then tomorrow's the waxing gibbous moon.
07:06The waxing gibbous?
07:07Oh.
07:08It's all about, like, checking in on where you are with, like, goals and getting rid of
07:13what isn't working for you and setting up new intentions.
07:16Whitney, are you hearing this?
07:17Yeah, I'm hearing it.
07:18So we're going to do a little bit of, like, a ritual.
07:21I am so into our Salem itinerary.
07:25We have sightseeing.
07:26We have shopping.
07:27And tomorrow, a magic ritual underneath the waxing gibbous moon.
07:32I think Sabrina and Corinne are making all of my Salem witch fantasies come true.
07:37You want to do our?
07:38Oh.
07:39Witch thing?
07:40Ugh.
07:41Ugh.
07:42Ugh.
07:43Ugh.
07:44Ugh.
07:45Ugh.
07:46I've been waiting my whole life to do it.
07:48What are we doing?
07:49You've never seen Hocus Pocus?
07:50No, honestly.
07:51That is wild.
07:52We should have done two rows of three.
07:54I know.
07:55Selfishly, I really wanted to go to the Salem witch museum just because I've never been
07:59there.
08:00The best place to get a taste of Salem's ugly history.
08:03The vibes already.
08:04Hello.
08:05Hi.
08:06How are you?
08:07Good morning.
08:08Welcome to the Salem witch museum.
08:12This is where you hear all about the hangings, the burnings.
08:15It's a good time.
08:16So much fun.
08:17Hi.
08:18My name is Rachel.
08:19I'm going to be taking you through our museum here today.
08:22This red circle in front of us shows the names of the 19 innocent people who were hanged.
08:26You're going to be hearing about the Salem witch trials of 1692, which are the largest
08:30and deadliest witch trials in North American history.
08:33I actually already knew a pretty good bit about Salem's history and the witch trials.
08:38I've read a lot about it.
08:40I love history.
08:41Anything witchy, I'm there.
08:43Y'all saw me do the womb ceremony.
08:45I mean, it didn't work, so I guess I'm not a witch, but I respect their work.
08:49What we see, historically speaking, during times of great fear, people tend to look around
08:54them and say, hmm, who could be responsible for this?
08:58And witches are the perfect scapegoat, right?
09:00So that means that witches could explain any number of misfortunes from a strange illness,
09:06your cow gets sick, even smaller misfortunes like your milk spoils that could draw attention
09:11to you and ultimately result in you being accused of witchcraft.
09:14This is what we would call a stereotypical witch.
09:17The pointed hat, the broomstick, the green skin, and of course, also cats.
09:22What I'm learning today is basically any woman back then could have been a witch.
09:27Wendy would have been a lot of trouble.
09:29That is, single, a cat, and a sassy tongue, all three of her.
09:35She really would have been.
09:37Damn!
09:38She would have been hung twice.
09:41I should have got her right to first up.
09:44So in Salem, the people who were executed for witches were hanged on what is now known
09:49as Proctor's Ledge.
09:50So a last witch trial, it's Grace Sherwood, who is actually swum.
09:56And the idea was, if they floated, the water was rejecting them.
09:59They were a witch.
10:00They would fish them out and try them.
10:02If they sank, they were good.
10:05So she does survive the ordeal of the water.
10:08They do find her guilty, but she is never executed.
10:12She stays in jail for about eight years and is eventually released.
10:15When people talk about witches and things, you don't really think about the actual torment
10:21that some of these women went through.
10:23It's not like you could save yourself from drowning because then they think you're a witch
10:27and they'll kill you anyways.
10:28I would have just been like, yeah, I'm a witch.
10:30Kill me.
10:31Can't wait to come back and halt y'all.
10:34Why are we still talking about the Salem Witch Trials in the modern day?
10:37The only way to prevent these events from happening in the future is to learn about them
10:41so that we can recognize these things when they're taking place and hopefully stop them in their tracks.
10:46Stories about witches and the unlawful and unjust persecution of these women resonates a lot with me because just being a single childless woman over 40, I think I would have already been like a highly suspicious figure.
11:02Even in this day and age, choosing to have a child out of wedlock as a woman is met with a lot of criticism.
11:11I can't fathom what would have happened if you took this path intentionally back then.
11:17Now, somebody teach Angie what to do.
11:19Okay.
11:20Go up.
11:21Go up.
11:22Go up.
11:23Go up.
11:24Go up.
11:25Go up.
11:26Go up.
11:27Go up.
11:28Go up.
11:29Go up.
11:30Go up.
11:31Go up.
11:32Go up.
11:33Go up.
11:34Go up.
11:35Go up.
11:36Go up.
11:37Go up.
11:38Go up.
11:39That is fun.
11:40All right.
11:41Well, we'll see you guys later.
11:42We're going to take Whitney to the cemetery.
11:44We'll see you in a little bit.
11:45You witches have one.
11:46Link up.
11:47Love you.
11:48Have fun, witches.
11:49All right.
11:50See y'all soon.
11:51We need to go get our souvenirs.
11:52The girls want to go shopping but I'm going to hang with Corinne and Sabrina because they want
11:55to show me the creepy cemetery and I am just dying to get there.
12:00That was a joke.
12:02Ty.
12:07The Black Cat?
12:09Curiosity Shop?
12:10There's a lot of cat stuff calling you.
12:13We love a good ghost tour in Salem,
12:15a good walking history.
12:17Oh, this is so cute.
12:19You can really find yourself here.
12:21I love all of this.
12:22It's every haunted spot,
12:24every place that's, like, got a ghost,
12:26and every cemetery in the history.
12:28And we know Whitney is one of us,
12:30so we figured,
12:31why not do all of our favorite things with Whitney?
12:33She's a ghost girl.
12:35Well, watch yourself,
12:36because the cemetery is the oldest one in Salem.
12:39Oh, it's right spooky.
12:41Mm-hmm.
12:42All of the stones are memorializing
12:45each person who died during the witch trials.
12:47Oh, no. Isn't that wild?
12:48Yeah.
12:49When the ground gets moist enough
12:50and there's a lot of heavy rains,
12:51occasionally the bodies will kind of just...
12:54They'll stop.
12:55...flip out.
12:56No, they don't!
12:57I swear to God.
12:58Mm-hmm.
12:59Well, they're bones now.
13:00They're bones.
13:01The flesh is gone.
13:02Where's the casket?
13:03And then when you see them,
13:04you just...
13:05That's not true.
13:06Did you expect us to talk this much about death?
13:07Well, yeah.
13:08Yeah.
13:09I expected that.
13:10We make death fun.
13:11Yeah.
13:12Yeah.
13:13And as you walk around,
13:14each stone has the name of the person...
13:16Oh!
13:17...who died,
13:18the date that they died,
13:19and how they died.
13:20That's interesting.
13:21So in the back corner,
13:22you'll see a man, Giles Corey,
13:24and his wife was accused,
13:25and he actually believed that she was a witch.
13:28He's the only person
13:29in the whole witch hysteria of Massachusetts
13:32that died by being pressed to death.
13:34Pressed to death.
13:35Because he didn't say a single word
13:36during his trial.
13:37Wait, didn't he say,
13:38when they were pressing him,
13:39I think I read about him,
13:40didn't he say,
13:41more weight?
13:42He did.
13:43I was like, that would be kind of like
13:44a metal tattoo to guess.
13:45Yeah.
13:47My imagination has been totally captured
13:50by this town.
13:51I feel immediately at home
13:53with Corinne and Sabrina.
13:54I feel excited to be with them,
13:56but also, like, just really comfortable.
13:58I feel like I've met two kindreds.
14:01How do you feel in the area so far?
14:03Oh, I love it.
14:04Corinne did...
14:05It took her eight years
14:06to manifest me moving here,
14:07but it happened.
14:08Yeah, she did.
14:09So we can start manifesting you moving here.
14:11Right.
14:12Yeah.
14:14I'll never leave this area.
14:15Very healing.
14:16It's also a great place to have kids.
14:18I feel like Corinne and Sabrina
14:19are giving me
14:20the Salem sales pitch right now,
14:21and honestly,
14:23it doesn't take a lot
14:24to seduce me,
14:25so I need them to be careful.
14:26Not to pressure,
14:27but also to pressure.
14:28I feel like it could be
14:29really good for you.
14:45They have rules for dogs,
14:47but they don't mention cats?
14:48No, they don't.
14:49He's hypoallergenic.
14:50Yeah.
14:51Hi, welcome in.
14:52Hi.
14:53Hi.
14:54Hello.
14:55Space for three?
14:56Yes.
14:57Well, actually, no, four.
14:58Four?
14:59I want it right this way.
15:00I feel so fortunate to be experiencing Salem
15:02for the first time with Corinne and Sabrina.
15:04They share my interests,
15:06whether it's daemons, haints.
15:09Like, they don't even look at me askance
15:11when I enter this bar with a black stuffed cat
15:14that I got from a witch store.
15:16I mean, they just feel like my sisters
15:21from an otherworldly mister.
15:24Oh, my God.
15:25Look, big boy.
15:27Look, big boy.
15:29I love this.
15:30This is so Salem that they, like, play into
15:33all of the stuff.
15:35Yes.
15:36God, I love it here.
15:38I just feel like there's still so much
15:40that I want to do and, you know.
15:41Yeah.
15:42Just like a couple days, like, is not enough.
15:44And also, I'm taking a ballet class.
15:47Mm-hmm.
15:48It's at this place called Magma.
15:49It's Movement Arts, Gloucester, Massachusetts.
15:52Oh.
15:53And it's this really cool place.
15:54It's, like, for, you know, inclusivity and dance.
15:56You're getting me excited.
15:58After I went to the Boston Ballet,
16:00I checked in with Ruth from Pineapple Dance Studios
16:02in London to tell her how amazing Swan Lake was.
16:04I sent her some pictures of Salem,
16:06and she told me that there's a really well-known
16:08dance studio nearby called Magma,
16:11and that I should definitely go take a class.
16:14A ballet class.
16:16But in the spirit of taking on a challenge,
16:19we're gonna do it.
16:20I don't know what's gonna happen to me.
16:21I don't know if I'm gonna be in pain.
16:22But I absolutely want to experience that.
16:24Yeah.
16:25So there's just a lot of cool things to do.
16:27Oh, my gosh.
16:28It's very vibey.
16:29Yeah.
16:30It really is.
16:31I know.
16:32There's just so much to explore.
16:33I just, I love a change.
16:34I love a novelty.
16:35I love a travel.
16:36I love a new vibe.
16:37Yeah.
16:38For me, I mean, one of my biggest struggles,
16:39I think, being in Greensboro,
16:41it's not, like, a tiny, tiny town or anything,
16:43but I just feel really isolated.
16:45Yeah.
16:46Yeah.
16:47You know, I don't know, being my age, too,
16:48it's like most people are married with families,
16:51and I just feel disconnected.
16:53Yeah.
16:54Like, I feel like in my house,
16:55I just, like, sit in my house alone,
16:56and my dad lives there.
16:58It is weird.
16:59It's really hard.
17:00It's so hard.
17:01When I moved out here, too,
17:02I was in a really rough place in my life
17:04where I felt so disconnected from where I was living before,
17:07and I felt like I had completely lost myself.
17:08What, in Boston?
17:09No, when I was in L.A.,
17:11I just felt like I hated myself,
17:13and so I moved out here,
17:14and now, like, I'll never leave this area.
17:17It's very healing.
17:18It's also a great place to have kids.
17:20Well, y'all gotta find me a man
17:22before we talk about that.
17:23The dating pool is good out here.
17:25She found her husband.
17:26Yeah.
17:27I feel like people are very smart here, too.
17:28Is that because of Harvard?
17:29It's extremely educated.
17:30Yeah, I like that.
17:31We have one of, like,
17:32the most concentrated pockets of colleges,
17:35and the majority of people go on to seek higher degrees.
17:38Higher education.
17:39I like that a lot.
17:40I feel like Corinne and Sabrina
17:41are giving me the Salem sales pitch right now,
17:43and, honestly, it doesn't take a lot to seduce me,
17:46so I need them to be careful.
17:48It sounds like maybe, perhaps, you need a change,
17:50and it doesn't necessarily have to be here,
17:51but it could be here.
17:52Yeah.
17:53And if you don't like it,
17:54you don't have to stay.
17:55Yeah, that's true.
17:56But maybe you fall in love.
17:57Yeah, exactly.
17:58Not to pressure, but also to pressure.
18:00I feel like it could be really good for you.
18:03I do, too, but you guys are my only friends here,
18:05so if I move here, then we have to be a couple.
18:06She was my only friend here.
18:07She still is my only friend here.
18:09I can't move here, and then you guys are like,
18:11yeah, we're busy.
18:12No.
18:13I just really feel that there's something here.
18:15There's a connection.
18:16And there is.
18:17And there is.
18:18And there is.
18:19We're tethered together.
18:20But we're totally trying to convince Whitney to move here.
18:22We're, like, playing it cool.
18:23Are we playing it cool?
18:24I don't think we're playing it cool.
18:25But we're totally...
18:26But Salem has everything that she would want.
18:27Hunky men.
18:28It has us.
18:29The spirits of the condemned.
18:30It has us.
18:31Again.
18:32What else could you want?
18:33So, like, you've talked about having kids or having a family.
18:38Like, what do you...
18:39What do you see that being?
18:41So, the thing is, I've only inseminated once,
18:45and I did it myself, and it didn't take, obviously.
18:47Yeah.
18:48The next time I'm going to go to the doctor and have them do it...
18:50Is it all from the same person?
18:51Yeah.
18:52But to me, I feel like I'm at a crossroads, right?
18:54Like, if I have a baby, I'm probably going to stay in Greensboro.
18:56If I can't have a baby, then I'm...
18:58I want something different in life.
19:00I just want to, like, put that to rest.
19:01Yeah.
19:02And move on.
19:03We support you in whatever happens.
19:07We will welcome you whatever happens.
19:09And we want you here selfishly.
19:12I am still very committed to the idea of becoming a mother,
19:16because it's something that I've wanted for literally, like, my whole life.
19:19And I think I owe it to myself to see if I can make that a reality
19:24before I make any other big decisions.
19:27Well, I have to go to therapy.
19:29I found the best therapist here, so...
19:30Oh!
19:31Well, and I'll need that recommendation.
19:32You need one when you come here.
19:33I will.
19:34But I love you.
19:35Oh, I love you.
19:36Aw.
19:37Bye, Sophie.
19:38Bye, you guys.
19:39Bye.
19:40Bye.
19:41I'll see you later.
19:42I saw you guys come in.
19:43I got these for you.
19:44From whom?
19:45I just wanted to say welcome to Santa.
19:46Oh, from who?
19:47If you need anything, it's from me.
19:48If you need anything, just let me know the camera.
19:49We would just have it?
19:50Yeah.
19:51The witchcraft might be witchcrafting because I feel like things are starting to brew.
19:56He's wearing a flannel.
19:57He's wearing a flannel.
19:58He's a New England man, Whitney.
19:59Salem has made it very clear that it has everything I need in life, like witches, paints, demons, men.
20:06It's just showing off at this point.
20:07I mean, honestly.
20:08It's because I'm around you, you bitch witch.
20:13You bitch witch.
20:14You bitch witch.
20:15You think she would really move up here?
20:17I don't know.
20:18I don't know if she would.
20:19I don't know if I'd ever go out here.
20:20I don't know if I would ever go out here.
20:21I don't know if I would ever go out here.
20:22I don't know if I would ever go out here.
20:23You want to be a bitch.
20:24You're not a bitch.
20:25The witchcraft might be witchcrafting because I feel like things are starting to brew.
20:27He's wearing a flannel.
20:28He's a New England man, Whitney.
20:29Salem has made it very clear that it has everything I need in life, like witches, paints, demons,
20:34Do you think she would really move up here?
20:35I don't know.
20:36Whitney has vacation goggles on,
20:39and that makes me a little nervous.
20:56Hi.
20:57Welcome to Zodiac Tea Room.
20:59While everyone was still at the house sleeping,
21:01I made a super early appointment to have my tea leaves read,
21:05which is something Corinne and Sabrina said
21:07is, like, imperative to do.
21:09Hello. It's good to see you again.
21:11Good to see you.
21:13I really liked Leanne, who did the seance.
21:17So if she has any advice or insights to offer me,
21:20especially about finding love, I'm open to it.
21:24Have you ever had a tea leaf reading?
21:25No.
21:26We're going to be looking at abstract shapes in the cup
21:30that are formed by the leaves.
21:32OK.
21:33It's going to tell you the future,
21:35and it's how you interpret the shapes.
21:37Mm-hmm.
21:38But before we do anything, I would like to do with you
21:41a candle to bring forth love.
21:45OK.
21:46This is going to be our candle,
21:47and you're going to burn it every day.
21:48But first, you're going to engrave your name in it.
21:50OK.
21:52My love life is pretty empty.
21:54I have not one man who I could call for anything,
21:58if you know what I mean.
21:59All I have is a tank of sperm that comes to my door.
22:05Stop.
22:07At this point, I can't be picky.
22:08Whatever Leanne is going to do, I'm on board.
22:11Repeat after me.
22:15I, Whitney.
22:16I, Whitney.
22:17Manifest into my life.
22:18Manifest into my life.
22:20Love.
22:21Love.
22:21Friendship.
22:22Friendship.
22:23And sexual attraction.
22:25And sexual attraction.
22:26May my.
22:27May my.
22:28Person.
22:29Person.
22:29Come to me.
22:30Come to me.
22:31Now.
22:31Now.
22:32Light the candle.
22:36Just like love, you have to let that fire burn.
22:40And it's OK to believe with confidence it's coming.
22:45Whenever you're ready, you can start sipping the tea.
22:49OK.
22:50And I want you to think of any question
22:53you would like to ask the tea leaf.
22:57Do I have to say it out loud or can I say it in my life?
22:59You can say it private.
23:00OK.
23:01When I came here, I thought that I would
23:04want to ask the tea leaves for clarity.
23:07But the more time I spend in Salem, minute by minute,
23:10I feel myself growing more confident and more empowered.
23:14So I don't think I need clarity from the tea leaves.
23:17I just think I need encouragement.
23:21When I looked at this, I wanted to know
23:24where you could find love.
23:26And over here, I saw a mermaid.
23:28See the tail?
23:29Oh, uh-huh.
23:30OK.
23:31And that's amazing.
23:32That's a little bit of magic coming to your life.
23:34I'm thinking by the water.
23:36I see travel, I see loyalty, and I see love.
23:40And it's going to happen.
23:42Probably between June and July.
23:44All right.
23:45Who am I to question the divination of a cup of tea?
23:50Who am I?
23:51If Leanne says that she sees love is a coming, love is a coming.
23:58This plate is labeled.
24:00What section has most of the-
24:01The romance and the partnerships.
24:03Yes.
24:04It's nice.
24:05See the head and the arms?
24:06It actually looks like a person in there.
24:07Oh, yeah.
24:08It's telling me that you're going to have space for love.
24:11You're going to notice it.
24:12And it will be brave enough to approach you, OK?
24:17And it's about, are we ready for it?
24:19Are we going to be open for it?
24:21And I know you have the power to create it.
24:22OK.
24:23Whether you believe in magic or not, it just kind of feels
24:26like a tool to help you identify what you want
24:30and bring it into reality.
24:32This is just reminding me that I have power, my own power,
24:37and it's empowering.
24:39You're going to get out there.
24:40You're going to feel beautiful and wonderful.
24:42And your confidence and strength will shine and feed love.
24:45OK.
24:46OK.
24:46All right.
24:51Good morning.
24:53Good morning.
24:54Did you and Courtney have a nice sleepover?
24:56I've never cared about a doll, Jessica,
24:58but I feel very like.
24:59No, you guys have some weird connection.
25:01I want to keep Courtney safe.
25:03Oh, definitely.
25:05Did you get any sleep last night?
25:06I did.
25:07I actually slept pretty well.
25:08How did you sleep?
25:10I didn't.
25:12At all?
25:13I don't know why that room is so hot.
25:14And I am not ever hot.
25:17Yeah.
25:17But I had to sleep with the window open,
25:19and my bed was like shaking.
25:21It was like askew this morning.
25:23Oh my god.
25:23Like it was completely turned over.
25:25That's how bad my room was shaking.
25:27I was like, am I going to die here tonight?
25:29My room could not have been any quieter.
25:31In fact, I was like, is this house really well?
25:33It's because Courtney was protecting you.
25:34Aw.
25:35I need to make better friends with the ghosts then, I guess.
25:37Well, I haven't seen Whitney this morning.
25:40Got to find out how she slept.
25:43I actually haven't really seen Whitney a lot.
25:45I think she's just been really busy with Sabrina and Corinne
25:49and soaking up Salem, her new friends.
25:54But she seems to be enjoying it here.
25:56I really think she's like in love with Salem.
25:58And I'm like, oh god, she's trying to leave us again.
26:00Well, she can be impulsive.
26:02You know, she's always looking for a place to move.
26:04You know, I don't want her to leave.
26:05And I know you don't want her to leave.
26:07Like, if her main thing is like looking for connection,
26:10looking for love, and she wants to settle down,
26:13I think she's pretty much like run through it in Greensboro,
26:16like all the different things.
26:16It's easy to do in Greensboro.
26:20Do you think she would really move up here, though?
26:22Do you remember when she moved to Charlotte?
26:23She was like, bye guys, moving to Charlotte.
26:25I was like, OK.
26:27She barely even said bye guys.
26:31So I don't know.
26:32I could honestly see it going either way.
26:35Yeah.
26:36Whitney has always been, like, really eager to, like,
26:39change things up and move on to the next thing.
26:42And now we're in Salem, and I see just, like,
26:44how alive she is.
26:46But I also just kind of feel like she
26:49has vacation goggles on.
26:51And that makes me a little nervous,
26:53because it might make her more likely to leave.
26:57Well, Courtney, you want to go to Jessica?
27:01She's got mommy issues.
27:02She just wants you to be her mommy.
27:04She's like, let me untie my shoes
27:05so mom can tie him again for me.
27:07Look.
27:08If I didn't think it was the opener to a horror movie.
27:10I know, right?
27:11I'm just kidding, Courtney.
27:13I know you mean no will ill.
27:15I'm not.
27:15Will ill.
27:16Ill will.
27:17Ill will.
27:18Ill will, yeah.
27:19Bye, Courtney.
27:21I'll come visit later.
27:23So we're going to start with our plies, as we always do, right?
27:25Oh, boy.
27:26Even when I was thin, I was never thin enough for ballet.
27:29Certainly now, I don't feel like I'm thin enough for ballet.
27:33Oh, uh-oh.
27:34Oh, can you get back up?
27:35Not nicely.
27:35Okay, well.
27:37Ah!
27:38Ah!
27:48Up.
27:49Tomé Pot de Bré.
27:50Hi!
27:51Hi.
27:52Come on in.
27:52Come on in.
27:53Have a seat.
27:54The idea of taking a ballet class, honestly, I hate it, but Ruth from Pineapple Dance Studios
28:02in London did encourage me, and I'm starting off on the wrong foot, so to speak, though,
28:07because I did not bring any ballet shoes, so there's that.
28:11Tomé, find your fourth outside pirouette.
28:18I have done my research on this school.
28:21It's inclusive, all body types, all ages.
28:24The instructors here, Swift, actually used to dance for the Boston Ballet, so I'm impressed
28:29and incredibly intimidated.
28:30Hi, Whitney.
28:31Hi.
28:32Hi.
28:33Nice to meet you.
28:34Nice to meet you.
28:35Thank you for coming.
28:36Thank you for having me.
28:37I'm very excited.
28:38You guys, can you come over and meet Whitney?
28:39Hi.
28:40Nice to meet you guys.
28:42So these are some folks from our studio, and so what are you excited about doing today
28:46in ballet class?
28:47Well, you know, the idea that dance is for everyone is really important.
28:50I was a dancer when I was younger, and then I stopped dancing for almost 15 years.
28:54Just because I kind of thought my body didn't have permission to do it anymore.
28:58Now that I do dance, I always choose not to do ballet.
29:03So we're really stepping out of our comfort zone here.
29:08Got it.
29:09Yeah.
29:10So we're going to go for a one-on-one.
29:11I like that.
29:12Excellent.
29:13That way they're not subjected to the horror and the carnage.
29:16Oh, come on, come on.
29:17It's all about finding the love and finding the pleasure, and we've all had to do that
29:21right in our own terms.
29:22And so we're going to try to find it for you.
29:24All right.
29:25I'm nervous, but...
29:26Yeah.
29:27What can you do?
29:28Besides the one beginner class that Ruth gave me at Pineapple in London a few months ago,
29:33I have not taken ballet in 22 years.
29:36Bye, guys.
29:37See you next time.
29:38Bye.
29:39Thank you, Sue.
29:40Even when I was thin, I was never thin enough for ballet.
29:43Certainly now, I don't feel like I'm thin enough for ballet, but that's the whole point
29:48of classes here at MAGMA is to make all dance accessible for all people.
29:52So I'm going to go into this with a positive attitude.
29:56So we're going to start with our plies, as we always do, right?
29:58Oh, boy.
29:59All right.
30:00So we take that bend.
30:01We're not doing...
30:02Are we doing a...
30:03We're just...
30:04We're doing a demi-plie.
30:05We're not going to grand, are we?
30:06Not yet.
30:07So we take our demi-plie.
30:08Beautiful.
30:09And we stretch.
30:10We're just trying to find that rhythm and find that breath.
30:12Then we're going to try our grand plie.
30:14Okay?
30:15So remember, now grand plie at this age or whatever, and I'm speaking...
30:20It's more of an idea.
30:21Yeah.
30:22It's more of a suggestion.
30:23We go as low as we can.
30:25So what you're going to do for your grand plie is you're just going to lift those heels off.
30:29If you feel like you can't hold the center anymore, you're going to come right back up.
30:32Let's give it a try.
30:33Okay.
30:34So we start with the demi.
30:35And then you just let those heels come off.
30:38Yeah, and then you come back.
30:39Oh, uh-oh.
30:40Oh, you did it!
30:41Can you get back up?
30:42Not nicely.
30:43Okay.
30:44Well, see if you can kind of feel like right under the pelvic floor.
30:48It's always hard when you stop.
30:49Now that I've been down here for this long.
30:50Yeah, yeah.
30:51Come on up.
30:52Yeah, take your time.
30:53Feel like when you still have it in your quads to push back up.
30:56Okay, let's see.
30:57I mean, I may not get very far.
30:58Yeah, it's okay.
30:59Okay.
31:00Ooh, that might be it.
31:03Ooh, Lord, I'm taking the bar off the ground.
31:05Okay, that might be it.
31:06You're good.
31:07And that's great.
31:08Okay.
31:09With Whitney, there's a lot of insecurity there.
31:11As a dancer working with a lot of weight, walking in the door can feel really intimidating,
31:15but you need to meet your body where it is every day.
31:18We're gonna do three times plié relevé.
31:20Plié to push.
31:21Plié to push.
31:22Make it light.
31:23Plié to push.
31:24And plié and stretch.
31:25Gorgeous.
31:26And then we do our other side.
31:27And then we're gonna keep the music going and just do the exact same thing with the brush.
31:31Degagé.
31:32Degagé.
31:33Exactly.
31:34See now?
31:35Remember that vocabulary.
31:36I started taking ballet when I was like three or four.
31:39I started with ballet, tap, and jazz, and I continued, you know, really learning all disciplines
31:44all the way through high school.
31:45But when I got to college and I started gaining weight immediately, I actually failed out of my
31:51dance class because I didn't show up.
31:54I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror.
31:56That was a big surprise to everyone that Whitney got a big fat F in a dance class.
32:02Tombe pas de bourree.
32:04Tombe pas de bourree.
32:07Chenet turn and pose.
32:10That's rich.
32:11I'm not gonna, I'm just gonna just try to do it.
32:13Do it.
32:14I'm not gonna psych myself out.
32:15Good.
32:16Give it a try.
32:20You ready?
32:21Okay.
32:22Oh, I can't do it.
32:23No, I really can't.
32:25It also doesn't help in bare feet because you're sticking to the floor probably.
32:28No, it doesn't.
32:29Not with all this weight on.
32:30Lord.
32:31Okay.
32:32I remember all of these steps.
32:34I remember how to execute it, but it gets lost in translation in this body.
32:38It's harder to feel like I should be able to do this and I can't.
32:43Ready?
32:44Uh-huh.
32:45Seven and eight.
32:51Oh boy.
32:52Yeah.
32:53That's it.
32:54Oh boy.
32:55You wanna try it with the music one last time?
32:57Yeah.
32:58Yeah.
32:59Yep.
33:00Go for it.
33:01Yes.
33:02That felt better.
33:03Yeah.
33:04Okay.
33:05A lot better.
33:06Because I am now in a smaller body, which I know might be laughable to some people, but this is a smaller body for me.
33:19It feels weird sometimes.
33:20It feels weird sometimes.
33:21Like I haven't had to check to see if I can fit in a booth or a chair in like two years, but it's still disorienting.
33:30I want to be in my body.
33:32The only way that I have found to accomplish that is through movement, through dance.
33:37I'm sorry, but you're looking pretty awesome here.
33:40I don't know why you're so shy about your abilities, because you look great.
33:45Let's do it again.
33:46Sarah is obviously an excellent ballet instructor, right?
33:50She knows ballet, but she knows something else.
33:53It's that dance is accessible to every person.
34:01Every person and everybody.
34:04You do not need permission.
34:07That's scary.
34:08Yeah.
34:09But you looked great.
34:10It was fun.
34:11Good.
34:12I'm glad it was fun.
34:13I did like it.
34:14Yeah.
34:15I have no doubt that with a few more classes under her belt that she would not feel as apologetic
34:24about what she could or couldn't do.
34:26I think people are held back by their own insecurities about their bodies.
34:30I hope Whitney can see that this is a welcoming place.
34:33You know, and this is one of the things that like it's hard for people when they're coming back to dance from whatever,
34:39is you come back and you have this memory of where your body is.
34:42Where you used to be.
34:43Yes.
34:44And it's very confronting.
34:45Your leg used to be at 90 and now it's down there.
34:47You really are like, yeah, well, that's that much difference, you know.
34:51I've lost, I think maybe about 115 or 120 pounds, but I'm rediscovering a little bit of freedom in my body that I haven't had in a while.
35:04But I'm really interested in getting back into my body because even though I know obviously I'm still very fat, but for me, there are just like things about my body that are so weird to me now because it's smaller.
35:16I want to feel more, I want to be in my body.
35:18Yeah.
35:19I don't feel like I'm in my body.
35:20I'm just so curious about like, so we do residencies here at Magma and I feel like wouldn't it be cool to like get you in the room with some like body workers and some sports psychologists.
35:33Wouldn't that be awesome?
35:34Yes, that would be absolutely awesome.
35:36Yeah.
35:37When do you, you do that?
35:38Summer residencies.
35:39Yeah.
35:40Yeah.
35:41Where we could just like get a really cool team of people together.
35:44Um, that would be amazing.
35:45And it's funny.
35:46I went to this psychic in Salem and she actually told me that like big changes were happening in the summer and that I needed to be by the water.
35:53So I was like, what?
35:56A summer residency.
35:58This feels very serendipitous.
36:01Sarah is the second person to mention the summer to me.
36:05And now Sarah is bringing up the possibility of maybe a summer residency.
36:10I don't know.
36:11Is it a coincidence or is it just like divine alignment?
36:14Let's be in touch.
36:15Of course.
36:16Yes, absolutely.
36:17Thank you so much.
36:18Yeah.
36:19Whose idea was this?
36:20Let there be light.
36:22We are about to perform a magic ritual.
36:27Da, da, da, da, and it's up and it's down.
36:29And most importantly, not trying to freeze our tits off.
36:52All right.
36:53On three, you want to say, let there be light.
36:54Yes.
36:55Okay.
36:56One, two, three.
36:57Let there be light.
36:58Let there be light.
36:59Let there be a light.
37:00In cold weather, oh
37:02This is our last night in Salem and we are about to perform a magic ritual underneath the waxing gibbous moon
37:10It's a time of reflecting preparing for what's next and most importantly not trying to freeze our tits off
37:16All right on three you want to say let there be light. Yes, okay
37:23Let there be a lot of light
37:28Here we go
37:30That's what I'm talking about my lips are freezing
37:34It's the slit in the dress every time the wind catches it right
37:37Okay, well aside from the cold tonight
37:41Is a waxing gibbous moon and a fire is supposed to help represent
37:47New life and rebirth and that waxing gibbous moon is a time where you look at your life and like look at what you've been working on
37:54And see what a dumpster fire it is
37:56You get rid of what isn't working. Okay throw it in the fire. I'm feeling the spirit move me
38:02Everybody
38:04Let's drop our codes
38:06Oh
38:08I mean, it's our last night in Salem who doesn't want to run around a bonfire
38:13I'd say naked but in beautiful flowy white dresses holding hands cackling like witches
38:19All right, everybody come
38:22Link like this
38:24It might be a little bit hokey, but
38:26That is exactly what we were going for because it just contributes to like this sisterhood energy and feeling
38:33In tune and tapped in and just able to give a huge release to the fire to the ocean
38:38To the universe to the universe
38:43Okay, what we're gonna do
38:45You're gonna step left you're gonna cross right you're gonna step right behind right
38:50It's karaoke
38:51Da da da da and it's up and it's down and it's up and it's down and ashley undulate and it's up and it's up
38:57Are we going the other way?
39:00I think there are lots of things i'll take away from this trip to salem and slow one
39:05I really enjoyed the girls trip aspect
39:12And now we danced and now we danced
39:14Two is seeing whitney like happy again like old whitney it's been a long time since i've seen this whitney
39:22Let's all go around and say one word or one thing in our life that we want to get rid of and what we want to welcome in in place of that
39:33Okay, miss ashley, um, I am releasing negativity and welcoming appreciation
39:39Yes, ma'am, I would like to release pain
39:43And accept in
39:46Love
39:48Beautiful
39:49Okay
39:50I'm getting a big one because I need this to come true
39:54I would like to release insecurity and I would like to welcome in power
39:59Yes, baby
40:02Isaiah and I have been trying to conceive almost three years now you feel like you're doing everything right
40:09And it doesn't work out
40:11It's easy to be scared and to be angry and to feel sorry for yourself. So right now i'm just trying to channel that energy
40:18Get myself healthier mentally
40:22Before it makes sense to try to conceive again
40:26Whitney, okay
40:30Okay, I would like to release fear
40:34And invite connection
40:37Hmm. I love that whitney
40:39Since I turned 40 I just have a real realization of time is passing and it does feel like it's passing a lot faster
40:48I don't want to spend my life
40:51Sitting alone in my house
40:53I want something more for me
40:57I want
40:59Connection to
41:01People
41:03Here's to new friendships
41:05Releasing the old
41:07Enticing and welcoming the new
41:09I love that
41:11Cuddle coven forever
41:13I love you guys so much one two three
41:15Cuddle coven
41:18This trip has really just affirmed that I have a lot of love inside of me
41:23I have a lot of creativity inside of me
41:25I have a lot of life a lot of ideas a lot of energy
41:30And I have nowhere to put it in greensboro
41:32It's like I'm running into a brick wall and I know that there are more people in life for me to meet
41:37And more connections to be made and more love and happiness to experience
41:44That was so fun
41:45Woo!
41:46Sistamos!
41:49Make a run for it
41:50Your womb is not supposed to be cold on insemination day
41:53Next time on my big fat fabulous life
41:56To say that I'm stressed about this doctor's visit for my second insemination would definitely be an understatement
42:01Oh god
42:03Don't be nervous
42:04You got this
42:05My heart is beating out of my chest
42:08I'm so excited and scared all at the same time
42:12Did I tell you about my bell?
42:14My friend from England
42:14Welcome to downtown greensboro
42:16This is a city right?
42:17This is a city
42:18It's more like a big town
42:20I've always said that greensboro is like a nice place to raise a family
42:23However as a single 40 year old woman it's not really the vibe for me
42:27You need to get out of here like now
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