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Short filmTranscript
00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives, Brie's new romance got off to a lively start.
00:07So you're courting me?
00:08I'm trying to. When will you stop playing hard to get?
00:10Maybe when you stop playing hard to want.
00:12While Lynette's marriage hit the rocks.
00:15I think we're the ones who need a vacation. Just a weekend? Get a chance to work through all of this?
00:21Susan's warning.
00:22About those cookies I made. Don't eat them. They're poison.
00:27That's our officers.
00:28Became an admission of guilt.
00:32And Gabby was unaware that a dark presence had arrived on the lane.
00:45Susan Delfino had always played by the rules.
00:50She obeyed every label.
00:54She performed her civic duty.
00:58She respected all legal boundaries.
01:05So when she was questioned about the poisoning of Paul Young...
01:09Please state your name and age.
01:11...Susan was more than a little upset.
01:14My age? What does my age have to do with it?
01:16Mrs. Delfino.
01:18Mrs. Delfino.
01:19I'm 38.
01:21Am I in growth?
01:22No.
01:2438.
01:26I don't think you appreciate the seriousness of the position you're in.
01:29You could have killed someone at that school.
01:31But I didn't poison the cookies.
01:34Yet you knew they were poisoned.
01:35Yes, by Felicia Tillman.
01:38I mean, okay, I baked them, but she added the poison.
01:42That was your arrangement?
01:44No.
01:45No, we didn't have an arrangement.
01:46She was trying to murder Paul Young.
01:49So all you did was deliver the poison food?
01:52Exactly.
01:54No, wait.
01:55Uh...
01:56No, I had no idea that anything was poisoned, ever.
02:00Except the cookies.
02:03Except the cookies.
02:07Look, talk to Felicia.
02:09She hated Paul.
02:10Yes, but you had your reasons for hating Mr. Young, too.
02:13No, I like Paul.
02:15His wife gave me her kidney.
02:17After you lost your kidney in a riot,
02:19which Mr. Young was responsible for.
02:21Who told you that?
02:23Mr. Young.
02:23He also said he blew the whistle on your internet porn career,
02:28causing you to lose your job at the Oak Ridge School.
02:31The same school you brought those poison cookies to.
02:37Now how about you start telling me the truth?
02:43I'm not 38.
02:51Find anything?
02:53Uh-huh.
02:56Okay, thanks.
02:59We found a glass vial and some syringes in the dumpster behind your apartment.
03:03They all had traces of antifreeze.
03:06Oh, God.
03:08Yes.
03:09Susan Delfino had always played by the rules.
03:13But she was about to find out.
03:17This wasn't a game.
03:19Sometimes, it's the little things that make us feel secure.
03:36Like an old friend at bedtime.
03:41Money saved for a rainy day.
03:43Or matching coffee mugs.
03:49But there are times when these small comforts are up against big challenges.
03:55I'm glad we're doing this.
03:56Me too.
03:57Should have done it a long time ago.
03:59Oh.
03:59Completely agree.
04:01I just needed to get away from everything.
04:04Just the two of us.
04:05No kids, no work, no TV.
04:07What?
04:08No TV?
04:10Oh, come on.
04:11It's a B&B.
04:12Bed and baseball.
04:13Are you going to take this seriously?
04:16Yes.
04:20I'm taking this very seriously.
04:24Okay.
04:29So, what do you feel like doing?
04:30Do you want to go to bed or...?
04:33Bed sounds good.
04:34I'm exhausted.
04:35Oh, unless you want to...
04:37No.
04:38No.
04:39I'm tired, too.
04:41Let's get a good night's sleep.
04:42I hope we have the whole weekend ahead of us.
04:52Hey.
04:53It's going to be great.
04:56It's going to be great.
05:03Thanks for dinner.
05:04That was amazing.
05:07I'm glad you enjoyed it.
05:08Kidding?
05:08I've got to chase twice as many bad guys tomorrow to burn it off.
05:12Good night, Chuck.
05:17Good night, Brie.
05:20Oh, um...
05:23Wow.
05:25That is the one part of dating that I haven't missed.
05:28I know.
05:28The whole question of intimacy.
05:30Will he kiss me?
05:30Will he not?
05:31Will she be mad if I try?
05:32Will she be mad if I don't?
05:34Then why don't we skip all that and lay our cards on the table?
05:37It sounds like something that two reasonable adults might do.
05:41I find you very attractive.
05:46I think you're a knockout.
05:49Really?
05:50Yeah, that's why it's so hard.
05:54Wow, we really are putting our cards on the table.
05:57To wait.
06:00Wait?
06:01Um, just till my divorce goes through,
06:04because till then I'm technically married,
06:06so anything we do is adultery.
06:10You know what?
06:11I think that's very admirable.
06:13Yeah?
06:14Definitely, it's refreshing to find a man
06:16whose morality isn't compromised by his libido.
06:18Besides, sometimes waiting can be half the fun.
06:22And just so you know what it is you're waiting for?
06:34Now that's the part of dating I have missed.
06:36Hmm.
06:44See you tomorrow night.
07:02How can they arrest me?
07:03I didn't do anything.
07:05They found syringes and antifreeze at your house.
07:07Unless you're a suicidal diabetic,
07:09that's pretty suspicious.
07:10Felicia was at my house when I was making Paul's food.
07:13Clearly, she's trying to frame me.
07:14Any way to prove it?
07:16The woman hacked off two of her fingers
07:18to frame someone else.
07:19She's a framer.
07:21To implicate Felicia, we need some evidence
07:23that she was actively trying to kill Paul.
07:27I might be able to help you with that.
07:32A few months ago, Felicia called me from prison,
07:35said she needed to see me.
07:37You never told me this.
07:38I didn't know what it was about, so I went.
07:39She offered me $10,000 to kill Paul.
07:44What?
07:45This was in the visitor's room, on the phone.
07:48I'll see if they have any recordings.
07:50Might take a day or two.
07:51This is good.
07:57How could you keep that from me?
07:59I don't know.
08:00I guess I was ashamed.
08:03Why?
08:04You said no.
08:05Yeah, after I thought about it for a week.
08:07You actually considered...
08:09Come on, Susan, with the financial problems we were having.
08:12And you gotta remember, there was a time
08:13I would've killed Paul for free.
08:20Two-minute warning till bath time.
08:21Hi, honey, how was your flight?
08:28Yeah, hold on.
08:29Sweetie, it's your dad calling from his business trip.
08:34The sound you're hearing is your daughter in a cartoon coma.
08:37Juanita!
08:43Hi, Daddy.
08:43Hi, Daddy.
08:43Hi, Daddy.
08:44Okay, Daddy, I love you, too.
08:53Bring me something.
08:56Upstairs.
08:58Okay, honey, love you, too.
09:00Bring me something.
09:01I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.
09:19Gabby, what are you doing here?
09:21Carlos doesn't want to see each other,
09:22and I really don't think we should...
09:23I need a gun.
09:25Well, I guess I could spare a moment.
09:28Why on earth do you need a gun?
09:30I need to swear she's been seeing this mystery man
09:33skulking around our lawn at night,
09:35and last night I think I saw him, too.
09:36Did you call the police?
09:37And say what?
09:38There's a guy on the lawn?
09:39Look, Carlos is out of town,
09:41and I'll sleep better if I have a gun on the nightstand.
09:43Gabby, I'm not giving you a gun.
09:45Why not?
09:45I let you borrow things all the time.
09:46Not things that put holes in people.
09:48Come on, just a little one.
09:50The kind Nancy Reagan would shoot people with.
09:52No.
09:53Please, I'll be really careful.
09:55This guy's kind of freaking me out.
09:58Gabby, if you're really serious,
09:59I will set you up for the class at my gun range.
10:01They'll teach you about gun safety,
10:02you will get a permit,
10:03and then we'll see about getting you a gun.
10:05Great.
10:06So in the meantime,
10:07if Skulking Guy breaks into my house,
10:09I'm just gonna yell,
10:09Freeze!
10:10I'm taking a class!
10:11Hello?
10:21Hello?
10:22Ms. Tillman?
10:23This is Detective Hank Powell
10:24of the Fairview Police Department.
10:27Hello, officer.
10:29Is there something I can help you with?
10:31We'd like you to come down to the station.
10:33We need to ask you a few questions.
10:36May I ask what this is about?
10:38We'll explain it all when you get here.
10:39Or if that's a problem,
10:43we can have somebody come get you.
10:46No.
10:49I'll handle my own transportation.
10:57So there's a place in town
10:58where you can make your own candles?
11:01Candlemaking.
11:01Hopefully it's next to a place
11:04where we can make our own bullets.
11:07Yeah.
11:08That sounds pretty lame.
11:09Besides, we didn't come here
11:10to do arts and crafts.
11:12May.
11:13We came here to work on stuff.
11:16Talk.
11:18So,
11:18maybe we should go back to our room
11:20and
11:20talk.
11:22Hey there.
11:26Good morning.
11:26Good morning.
11:27Good morning.
11:29Hi, I'm Lisa.
11:30This is my husband, Andy.
11:32Oh, hi.
11:33I'm Lynette.
11:33Nice to meet you.
11:34Nice to meet you.
11:34Tom.
11:35Nice to meet you.
11:36So, is this your first time here?
11:37Oh, thank you, sweetie.
11:40Yep, first time.
11:41Oh, it's our third time.
11:42We love it here.
11:43It's so quiet and intimate.
11:45What could be better, right?
11:46Right.
11:47You said it.
11:47So, what are you guys up to today?
11:50I don't know.
11:51We'll probably just hang out.
11:52What about you guys?
11:53We are going candle dipping.
11:57Hey, Jase, you want to come with?
11:59Oh, Andy, I'm sure they came up here
12:00to be alone.
12:03I don't know.
12:04Sounds like it could be fun.
12:07Yeah.
12:07We could be alone later.
12:09Let's go dip some candles.
12:17You know I can't talk to you.
12:19Think about it.
12:20Of all the people that want you dead,
12:22you think Susan's the one to do it?
12:24She's the only person in this neighborhood
12:25who's stuck by you.
12:26You heard the evidence.
12:27All the food came from your kitchen.
12:29And you know who was helping Susan cook it?
12:30Felicia Tillman.
12:33What?
12:33The same woman who offered me $10,000 to kill you.
12:38She offered you $10,000 to kill me.
12:42What did you say?
12:43You're still standing here.
12:47Believe me now.
13:08So tell me, how do you know that guy
13:10I saw leaving here last night?
13:11His name is Chuck.
13:12He's a detective.
13:13And he and I have been seeing each other.
13:15Seeing?
13:18As in dating?
13:20You sound surprised.
13:21Well, I don't like spreading vicious gossip.
13:24Who am I kidding?
13:24I love it.
13:25Bree, that guy's gay.
13:27You say that about everyone.
13:29You said that about Tom Scavo.
13:30I didn't say he was gay.
13:32I said if I had magic powers,
13:33I would make him gay.
13:34But as far as Detective Hottie goes,
13:37I've seen him at my favorite gay bar.
13:38No, I am sure it wasn't him.
13:40I'm sure it was.
13:41I never forget a gay face.
13:43I have what scientists call a homographic memory.
13:46Chuck was married for 18 years.
13:48Was?
13:49Interesting.
13:50Failed marriage.
13:51Let's connect those dots.
13:52Okay, then explain why he's the one chasing me.
13:54He's a cop.
13:55It's a very masculine culture.
13:57And now that he can't hide behind his wife anymore,
13:59he needs a girlfriend.
14:00So he's still one of the guys.
14:02Let's drop it.
14:03Okay, tell me I'm wrong.
14:04Tell me you've had the best sex you've ever had.
14:06You have had sex.
14:11He said he wanted to wait.
14:14Okay, I'm calling it.
14:16Time of gay.
14:1711.21.
14:21There's just something about Italian food,
14:23but I can't believe how much I ate.
14:25It was so good.
14:27It was awesome.
14:28And thank you both.
14:29Yeah, you didn't have to pay for dinner.
14:31Or lunch.
14:32Or candle making lessons.
14:33It was my pleasure.
14:34What's the point of making the big bucks
14:35if you can't spread it around?
14:36Please, stop saying big bucks.
14:41I haven't said it that much.
14:43If I had a nickel for every time you said big bucks,
14:45I'd have big bucks.
14:50It's getting late.
14:51Yeah, we should really let you guys go.
14:53Late?
14:53It's only 10 o'clock.
14:55Hey, who's up for a game of spades?
14:58Come on, Lisa.
14:59Boys against girls.
15:00Let's kick some butt.
15:01Okay.
15:05Okay, yeah.
15:07So it is 3 a.m.
15:09I am creeping down the stairs in my underwear,
15:11holding the golf club like a machete.
15:13I hear the noise again coming from the kitchen.
15:16Turns out it's our daughter, Penny,
15:17who's waiting to get the Easter Bunny's autograph.
15:20Aw, that's cute.
15:22What?
15:23You always do that.
15:24I'm telling a story,
15:25and you jump in and steal the punchline.
15:27Because you've gone forever.
15:29You heard a noise.
15:30You checked it out.
15:31Turns out it's Penny.
15:32Laugh, laugh, laugh.
15:32Everybody's the same age as when the story started.
15:36Well, my apologies, everybody.
15:38I am sorry I am not a gifted raconteur like my wife.
15:41Can I say, Tom,
15:42I actually do know how to tell a story.
15:43Yeah, like that spellbinder you told the guy
15:45at the candle shop today about growing winter squash.
15:48One more second,
15:49he was ready to pour molten wax directly into his ears.
15:51Oh, you heard that story.
15:52I figured you were busy counting your big bucks.
15:55Sheesh, it's midnight already.
16:01Yeah, we better get some sleep.
16:02We have a big day tomorrow.
16:03Oh, yeah?
16:03What are you guys doing?
16:06Nothing.
16:08What about you guys?
16:09Good night.
16:09Good night.
16:10Good night.
16:10Good night.
16:10Well, I think I'm going to turn in, too.
16:21You coming?
16:24No, I'm going to check out some scores on the TV.
16:31Okay.
16:31Hello.
16:46Are you ready for our lunch date?
16:48I tried to call you.
16:49I got to interview a robbery witness.
16:51I'm really sorry.
16:52It's not your fault,
16:53and as luck would have it,
16:54I'm free for dinner, too.
16:55Great.
16:56Hey.
16:57Hey, guys.
16:58Say hi to Bree.
16:59Hey.
17:00See, I wasn't making a rub.
17:03See you tonight.
17:12Great picture of Chuck, huh?
17:14Yeah.
17:14Yeah.
17:15Who's that with him?
17:16Well, that was his partner, Pete Crowley.
17:18Oh.
17:18Are Chuck and Pete still partners?
17:21No.
17:22Pete's not here anymore.
17:24I hope it wasn't something tragic.
17:27No, I tried.
17:29You're just weird.
17:33Excuse me.
17:39They were best friends and partners for nine years,
17:42and then last year they went on a camping trip together.
17:45When they got back, they weren't speaking.
17:47Pete put in for a transfer,
17:48and no one on the force knows what happened.
17:51It's beyond obvious.
17:52Chuck must have had a huge crush on this guy.
17:54You think he was in love with his partner?
17:56Please.
17:57I'm in love with him,
17:58and I've only seen his picture.
18:00Makes a total hottie for a partner,
18:02then sits on his feelings for nine years
18:04until the camping trip.
18:09They're in the woods in a tent alone.
18:13A couple of beers,
18:13then bam, Chuck pounces,
18:15and his partner's all like,
18:16stop.
18:17What are you doing?
18:18Get off me.
18:19Oh, God, it's me and Todd Mako.
18:23It's all over again.
18:25This is ridiculous.
18:26Chuck is not gay,
18:27and I am going to prove it.
18:28How?
18:28He's taking me to dinner tonight,
18:30and I may just have to offer myself up his dessert.
18:33Do whatever you want.
18:34Just forward me this picture.
18:35I've got some Photoshopping to do.
18:36Our policy here is ask questions first.
18:44Shoot later.
18:45You will know everything there is to know
18:47about a firearm before ever actually holding one.
18:49What's there to know?
18:50You point, you shoot,
18:51somebody bad falls down.
18:53Miss Solis,
18:55mind if I ask why it is you're taking this class?
18:57To protect myself.
18:59Protection?
19:00Why a gun?
19:01Why not just get a dog?
19:02Well, for one,
19:04if you leave a gun in the house,
19:05it doesn't rip apart your throw pillows
19:06and leave a gift on your hall carpet.
19:11Could you shoot me?
19:13What?
19:14I'm an intruder.
19:15I just broke into your home.
19:17Could you shoot me?
19:20Sure.
19:21Why not?
19:21Really?
19:22Where?
19:22The head?
19:23Chest?
19:24I don't know.
19:25Why are you getting so close?
19:26I'm an intruder.
19:26I'm here to hurt you.
19:27Could you point the gun,
19:28fire it,
19:29and kill me?
19:30And then live with that
19:31the rest of your life?
19:32No.
19:37If any of you feel the same way,
19:39leave now.
19:40A gun in the hands of someone
19:41who is afraid to use it
19:42is the most dangerous weapon
19:44in the world.
19:45Not for your intended victim.
19:48For you.
19:49Susan.
20:01I want to thank you.
20:02I heard that you spoke to the police
20:04and helped clear me.
20:05I'm sorry.
20:05I doubted you.
20:07I guess I'm not used to people
20:08being kind to me.
20:12What's going on?
20:14I can't stay here.
20:15But Felicia's gone.
20:17You're safe now.
20:18This has nothing to do with Felicia.
20:20It's just time for me to go.
20:22Oh, you can't leave the lane.
20:25You belong here.
20:27No, I don't.
20:28I never have.
20:30Well, that's not true.
20:32When I first moved here,
20:33you and Mary Alice
20:34were so nice to me.
20:35You were the reason
20:36I wanted to live here.
20:37We had to be nice.
20:38We came here
20:39running away from something
20:40terrible we'd done.
20:41We spent every day
20:42waiting for the past
20:44to catch up with us.
20:45And it did.
20:47Sooner or later,
20:48the past always catches up.
20:50It was a long time ago.
20:52You have a chance
20:53to start over now.
20:54And you
20:55were the only one around here
20:57who ever thought
20:57I could start over.
20:59I still do.
21:01You're a good person, Paul.
21:02I truly believe that.
21:04I know.
21:05And I just as soon
21:06leave while you still do.
21:09Here.
21:10Take these.
21:13Move back in
21:13with your family.
21:15As far as the rest
21:15of the rent,
21:17it's my gift to you.
21:19I don't know
21:20how to thank you.
21:21Just be happy here.
21:25We will.
21:34You know,
21:35it's not even 10 yet.
21:38Are you up for a nightcap?
21:39Sure.
21:40I know this fabulous
21:41little spot.
21:43Fabulous.
21:46Actually,
21:47I was hoping
21:48we could go back
21:49to your place.
21:50Um,
21:51I don't,
21:54I don't think
21:54that's a good idea.
21:55Really?
21:57What are you afraid of?
21:59I'm not sure
21:59I could trust myself.
22:01Remember our agreement.
22:02Oh,
22:03are we really
22:03sticking to that?
22:05Um,
22:06look,
22:06I,
22:07I have to.
22:12Okay.
22:14But I still
22:14want that nightcap.
22:16Where to?
22:19I know just the place.
22:22Brittany,
22:23are you sure
22:23you want to come in here?
22:24Because I think
22:25this is a gay bar.
22:26Really?
22:26And how would you know that?
22:27Okay,
22:28there's something
22:29I need to tell you.
22:31Hey,
22:31girlfriend,
22:32where have you been
22:32hiding yourself?
22:33Hey, Terrence.
22:34Wait until you hear the dish.
22:36Steve and Fat Steve
22:37broke up
22:38and Fat Steve
22:39is now pissed Steve.
22:40I'm,
22:40I'm,
22:41I'm sorry
22:41to hear that.
22:42Mm-hmm.
22:43Okay,
22:44so this is
22:45what I wanted
22:45to talk to you about.
22:46Chuck,
22:47I already know.
22:50My neighbor
22:51saw you here.
22:52Oh, God.
22:53It's okay.
22:54My son is gay.
22:55I have lots of gay friends.
22:56I love the gays.
22:57I just don't date them.
22:58Brie,
22:59I'm not gay.
23:01Hey, Sudley.
23:02Haven't seen you
23:03in a while.
23:04But here's your usual.
23:06Sorry,
23:07I'm out of umbrellas.
23:09They know me
23:10because I worked
23:11here undercover.
23:13Really?
23:14Yes.
23:14Some guys here
23:15were dealing drugs,
23:16so to blend in,
23:17I pretended to be gay.
23:18Ow!
23:20And I was good at it.
23:22Chuck,
23:22you don't need to lie.
23:23I can imagine
23:24how hard it must be
23:25to be a gay cop.
23:27Especially after what
23:27happened with your partner.
23:28My partner?
23:33You mean Peter?
23:35What do you know
23:36about that?
23:36Well, I know
23:37you two split up
23:38after you went
23:38on vacation together.
23:41Were you in love
23:42with him?
23:43I can't talk
23:44about this here.
23:47Come on.
23:48I did love Pete Crowley
23:54like a brother.
23:55And I loved my wife, too.
23:57At least,
23:58I did.
24:00Until the camping trip
24:01when Pete told me
24:01they'd been sleeping
24:02together six months.
24:04Your partner
24:05and your wife?
24:07Why didn't you tell me?
24:08I'm a detective.
24:09I'm supposed
24:09to notice things.
24:11But if your wife
24:11is the one who cheated,
24:12why is she holding up
24:13the divorce?
24:14Part of me thinks
24:15she's dragging it out
24:16so I'll screw around
24:17before it's over
24:17so she can say
24:19I'm no better than her.
24:20But I am
24:21better than her.
24:23And that's why
24:23I want to get things
24:25right this time.
24:27So you're really
24:28not gay.
24:44What do you think?
24:47Fabulous.
24:58Oh, my God!
25:22This is why
25:23kids shouldn't
25:24play with cans!
25:24Hey!
25:41Hey!
25:49Excuse me.
25:52Do you have
25:52a security camera?
25:54I'm confused.
25:58You say someone
25:58took your pocketbook
25:59but isn't that
25:59your pocketbook?
26:01This is my purse,
26:03Ben.
26:04Sorry.
26:05I do the same thing
26:06to my wife.
26:06I say my shirt.
26:07She says it's a blouse.
26:08I say I like your trousers.
26:09She says...
26:10Stop!
26:11Can you go closer?
26:13Okay.
26:14But he's not
26:15holding a pocketbook.
26:19Oh, my God.
26:21Are you all right?
26:23That's my stepfather.
26:24You sound surprised
26:26to see him.
26:29He's supposed
26:29to be dead.
26:35Pretty damn good.
26:37Gotta admit,
26:38I'm surprised
26:39to see you back here.
26:39I thought you said
26:40you couldn't kill anybody.
26:42Got over it.
26:42No, Tom.
26:51Texting the office
26:52is the same
26:52as calling the office.
26:54Come on.
26:55You know that.
26:56Oh, God.
26:57It's them.
26:59What about coffee?
27:00Leave it.
27:00Hey there.
27:01Top of the morning.
27:02Yeah, good morning.
27:03How's it going?
27:04Good morning.
27:05Good morning.
27:05I hope you guys
27:06like apples
27:07because we found
27:09a pick-your-own-apple orchard.
27:10Oh, actually,
27:11we're heading into town
27:12to do some antiquing.
27:13Oh, sounds great.
27:14We love antiquing.
27:16Yeah.
27:17I think we're going
27:17to go by ourselves.
27:20Oh.
27:21Ouch.
27:22Are you guys
27:23blowing us off?
27:24No.
27:25No, it's just
27:26that we wanted to
27:26buy one of those
27:27old folding screens
27:29and our backseat
27:30is so small
27:30and...
27:31Lisa.
27:33Yeah, we're
27:34blowing you off.
27:36Why?
27:37Look, we get it.
27:38You guys can't
27:38stand to be alone,
27:39but that's the whole
27:41reason we came here,
27:41so nice hanging out
27:43with you, but
27:43see ya.
27:47And good luck.
27:49What do you mean
27:50good luck?
27:52You know,
27:53with whatever it is
27:55you're working through.
27:59Come on.
28:29This rain is just not going to stop, huh?
28:33They said it might go into tonight.
28:38Oh, yeah?
28:39Yeah.
28:40That's what they said on the radio.
28:49So total strangers think we are in trouble.
28:53Do you think we're in trouble?
28:56What do you think?
28:59All I know is 20 years ago, if you'd put us in a beautiful room
29:01with a fireplace and a big bed and it rained all day,
29:07we wouldn't be talking about the weather.
29:24I got to get out of this room.
29:26I'm starting to lose my mind.
29:28You want to take a walk?
29:29What?
29:30Do you want to take a walk?
29:31It's a mess out there.
29:32It's pouring.
29:33Well, don't snap at me, Tom.
29:34Snap at the rain.
29:36God.
29:37It's like you're not even trying.
29:39Me?
29:39I'm not trying?
29:40From where I sit, you're not.
29:42What do you call this?
29:48What is this?
29:49It's your engagement ring.
29:52The crappy one I gave you a million years ago.
29:59You changed the diamond.
30:01I told you I'd give you a decent ring someday.
30:07There it is.
30:16What's the matter?
30:17I appreciate this.
30:20I really do.
30:22But I loved the ring the way it was.
30:26Really?
30:27Because I seem to remember you making a joke about it every single time you showed it to somebody.
30:31I did.
30:38I did.
30:42But that doesn't mean I didn't love it.
30:45Lynette, I did this to make you happy, but I'm running out of ideas.
30:49I can't do this anymore.
31:04We have survived five kids, a failed business, cancer.
31:12Why can't we pull out of this one?
31:14I don't know what you want.
31:19They don't know what I want.
31:28I just know it isn't this.
31:45There you go.
31:47Wakey, wakey.
31:49Now, I'm going to take this off, but if you start screaming for help, I will have no choice but to plunge this directly into your heart, killing you instantly.
32:04Oh, that'll kill you too, but a lot more slowly, giving the three of us a chance to chat.
32:09What do you mean, the three of us?
32:16Who's here?
32:17Why, Beth, of course.
32:21I knew she wouldn't want to miss this.
32:24Fine.
32:25Kill me.
32:27You won't get away with it.
32:28The police know you've been poisoning me.
32:30But thanks to you, they think I'm miles away.
32:34When I'm not, I'm right here.
32:38You know, I'm kind of going to miss this place.
32:47Yeah.
32:47The sound of German techno music from 3B.
32:50Smell of corned beef and cabbage from 2C.
32:52The fat guy, or is it a woman in 5D?
32:55Actually, I'm not going to miss this place.
32:57Hey, where does this go?
32:58Oh, MJ's toys were here.
33:00Hey, you know what would be a great idea if when he walks into his old room tomorrow, all of his favorite things are already there?
33:06Yeah, he'd love that.
33:07I'll run him over right now.
33:08No, no, no, you keep packing.
33:09I'll go.
33:14You disappoint me, Paul.
33:17Is this really how you want to spend your last moments?
33:19Sitting there, shooting me dirty looks, as if I didn't already know you dislike me.
33:25What would you prefer?
33:27Some remorse.
33:28A little repentance.
33:30Emotions appropriate to a man who killed an innocent woman.
33:32Innocent?
33:33Your sister blackmailed my wife.
33:35Drove her to suicide.
33:38It isn't Martha's fault that Mary Alice shot herself, like all your wives seem to.
33:43If you're going to keep talking, Felicia, would you mind upping my dose?
33:46Just tell me you're sorry.
33:49Is it really so hard to say?
33:52I'm not sorry.
33:54I wasn't then, and I'm not now.
33:56When I saw the life drain out of Martha's mean little eyes, I knew she was getting exactly what she deserved.
34:04So there it is.
34:05When I saw the life drain out of Martha's mean little eyes, I knew she was getting exactly what she deserved.
34:23So you have a confession.
34:25What are they going to do?
34:26Arrest my corpse?
34:28No.
34:29But when the police find your body, they'll find this.
34:35And the world will stop thinking I was crazy all these years.
34:39Felicia, there's one thing I'll go to my grave sure of.
34:44The world will never stop thinking you're crazy.
34:46Oh, I guess in the chest.
35:08You might experience a lot of pain.
35:10Getting scared, Paul?
35:19This poison.
35:21How much longer before it kills me?
35:23Not long.
35:24Thirty minutes or so.
35:25There's a killer loose in my house.
35:41Four-three-five-three Wisteria Lane sent police and ambulance.
35:44Hurry.
35:45Oh, getting weaker.
36:00Tell Martha I said hello.
36:12Susan!
36:13Susan!
36:13Susan!
36:15Hurry.
36:38Hurry.
36:40Hurry.
36:40Hurry.
36:41Come on, come on.
36:54Oh, Susie.
36:56If your casseroles had been any better, he would have had seconds.
37:00And none of this would be happening.
37:03No.
37:11This has gone on long enough.
37:19Paul.
37:21Paul, stop.
37:23Don't do this.
37:24Paul, let her go.
37:26You are not like her.
37:27You are not a killer.
37:48Thank you, Susan.
37:54I knew you wouldn't hurt her.
37:55You are a good person.
37:56Stop saying that.
38:01Felicia is right.
38:04I killed Martha.
38:08But man you think I am.
38:11I haven't been him for a long time.
38:15But I want to be that man again.
38:21Officers.
38:22Can you take my statement?
38:29I have a confession to make.
38:37A sense of security.
38:39Maybe it's something we all search for.
38:45Whether it's knowing we're desired.
38:49Taking control of our fears.
38:54Or finding the strength to do the right thing.
38:58But the danger of a sense of security is that it may prove to be false.
39:10Be, you're right.
39:11You're right.
39:23Oh!
39:25982
39:26You're wrong.
39:27Oh!
39:27Oh!
39:28I don't know what we're unos.
39:29Oh!
39:29Oh!
39:29Oh!
39:30Oh!
39:31Oh!
39:32Oh!
39:32Oh!
39:32Oh!
39:33Oh!
39:33Oh!
39:34Oh!
39:34Oh!
39:34Oh!
39:36Oh!
39:36Oh!
39:37Oh!
39:37Oh!
39:37Oh!
39:38Oh!
39:39Oh!
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