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00:00:00I'll see you next time.
00:00:30Oh, Dad.
00:00:40Hello?
00:00:42Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:45I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:49So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:54Me, too. I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:58Um, I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:02Uh, I'm going to lose my virginity to him. You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:07What? But you can't.
00:01:09I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:13Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:15You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:19This is bad.
00:01:20You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:22She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:33So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:52Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:55But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:59I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:02:03But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:07So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:10Mushrooms?
00:02:11No, not like that.
00:02:12Like something nice.
00:02:15Like maybe a trip.
00:02:16Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:18No.
00:02:18Sorry, Sue.
00:02:22I have a date.
00:02:23Oh, so do I.
00:02:26Sorry, Sue.
00:02:27Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:28We'll figure it out.
00:02:42Oh, flowers.
00:02:43Are these from you?
00:02:44Yeah, sure.
00:02:47Here you go.
00:02:48No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:51I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:54I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:03:01Oh, Jake.
00:03:06Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:03:09Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:03:11When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:14The best night of my life.
00:03:16It will be, I promise.
00:03:17It will always be amazing with you and me together.
00:03:31Jake, no.
00:03:31I have to go.
00:03:32I have to work on my art project.
00:03:35You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:38but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:43Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:45This Saturday?
00:03:47Of course.
00:03:47Thanks.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:54Okay.
00:03:55Bye.
00:04:05Nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:04:07Oh, baby.
00:04:09You're so hot.
00:04:10I'm going to do you so good.
00:04:11Oh, yeah, baby.
00:04:13Yeah.
00:04:13What was your name again?
00:04:14Rod.
00:04:16Sex guy.
00:04:20Oh.
00:04:21Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:26Yeah, right.
00:04:27I bet.
00:04:27Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:38Oh, no.
00:04:39Does not compute.
00:04:41Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:47Oh, huh.
00:04:49Hi.
00:04:51When did you get home?
00:04:52So, is it true?
00:04:54Yes, it is.
00:04:56It's just, it's the right time, and Jake's the right man.
00:05:01I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:05:06and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:05:08So, I just think it's the right time.
00:05:12Lexi, tell her, losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:05:15we should all face together.
00:05:17On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:05:19Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday,
00:05:22or maybe even, like, our 28th.
00:05:26Maybe.
00:05:28Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:36I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:05:46But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:48We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:52Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:56It's not Jake.
00:05:58It's the male ideal.
00:06:00Like, a Greek god, or Sue's dad.
00:06:05Right.
00:06:07Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:06:09I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:06:10I'm not really an artist.
00:06:12Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:06:14But the point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:06:17on the same day.
00:06:18And I'm just not ready yet.
00:06:21I'm waiting for a sign.
00:06:23And then I'll know it's right.
00:06:24Look, I can go either way.
00:06:27I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:31I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:35Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:39But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:06:44You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:48Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:55To church.
00:06:56To pray for you.
00:06:57I want to be first in line.
00:07:00I'm getting this.
00:07:02Yeah, me too.
00:07:12Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:07:15It's been four days since my last confession.
00:07:17I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:07:22Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but it's about sex.
00:07:31I mean, not me.
00:07:32I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:07:37I've never even seen a guy as...
00:07:39Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:07:42But I was dressing him up as Jesus.
00:07:44And I wanted to see his thing.
00:07:47But there was nothing there.
00:07:48Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:53My best friends.
00:07:56They're going to do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:58Okay.
00:08:00Third base.
00:08:02What?
00:08:03No.
00:08:04Like, sex.
00:08:05Like, intercourse?
00:08:07With boys, they barely even know.
00:08:08I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:08:11If you know what I mean.
00:08:12All the way.
00:08:13Go all the way.
00:08:16What are you?
00:08:17What?
00:08:17What?
00:08:19How could you do so?
00:08:24You're a bad, bad person.
00:08:28What?
00:08:29Yes.
00:08:36Yes.
00:08:37Run.
00:08:38Run.
00:08:39Home route.
00:08:41Ah.
00:08:42Damn it.
00:08:45Fucking Yankees.
00:08:48Sorry.
00:08:49Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:09:16Would you have a little consideration?
00:09:18I'm trying to sleep.
00:09:20Jeez.
00:09:21Can you guys please keep it down?
00:09:24I have an announcement to make.
00:09:26I want to do it.
00:09:28Do you hear me?
00:09:30I want to do it.
00:09:32This weekend.
00:09:34On our birthday.
00:09:35Do what?
00:09:38It.
00:09:39Screw.
00:09:40You know, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs.
00:09:44You know, shagging.
00:09:45Fucking.
00:09:48You do.
00:09:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:56Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:09:58Really?
00:10:00Well, okay, great.
00:10:03We're all in then.
00:10:05So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:10:08Right?
00:10:10Right.
00:10:11I'll start making the shopping list.
00:10:23Hey, Frank.
00:10:26Hi, Sue.
00:10:28Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:10:31I don't know.
00:10:31Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:10:33Yeah, he's blind.
00:10:35Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:10:37Wait, wait, are you back?
00:10:44Hey.
00:10:45Um, I was wondering.
00:10:47We're going to throw in this party tomorrow night.
00:10:49It's for our birthdays.
00:10:51Do you want to come?
00:10:52Do you think he can see at my shorts?
00:10:54Well, the house looks done.
00:11:10Tomorrow's the big day.
00:11:12We finally turn 18.
00:11:13And finally lose our virginity.
00:11:16Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:11:19So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake, and I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:11:26But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:11:27It's a poppy chair.
00:11:29It's easy.
00:11:30I've known for the past six years, ever since catty-kism.
00:11:36What the fuck is catty-kism?
00:11:38I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:11:40Yeah.
00:11:41My soulmate.
00:11:54Chris?
00:11:55Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:12:00I mean...
00:12:01What?
00:12:01No, Chris is perfect.
00:12:03He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:12:06Plus, his name's Chris.
00:12:08It's a sign.
00:12:08Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:12:15What?
00:12:16He does not.
00:12:17Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:12:19He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:12:22With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:12:26Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:12:29Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:12:32Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:12:35See you in the morning.
00:12:36See you in the morning.
00:12:38I knew it would happen someday.
00:12:45I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:12:48I knew it would happen.
00:12:49You'd expect it to happen again.
00:12:53Let's go.
00:12:54I know.
00:12:54Oh Ryan.
00:12:54I know.
00:12:55It's a bit of a certain memory.
00:12:56Oh Ryan.
00:12:57I know.
00:12:58I know.
00:13:02I know.
00:13:03I know.
00:13:07You're good.
00:13:07I know.
00:13:08I know.
00:13:09I know.
00:13:10I know.
00:13:10I know.
00:13:11I know I know.
00:13:12I know.
00:13:13I know.
00:13:14I know.
00:13:14I know.
00:13:15I know.
00:13:16You're so perfect.
00:13:46You knew that's what I look like.
00:14:16Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:14:36Tomorrow's the day.
00:14:46Oh my gosh, they're coming.
00:15:04Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:15:09Ew, why?
00:15:11It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:15:13It's gonna be really sexy.
00:15:16You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:15:18It's gonna be really sexy.
00:15:20It's stupid.
00:15:21Just screw him.
00:15:22That's what he wants.
00:15:23That's what all guys want.
00:15:25Who hurt you as a child?
00:15:27Oh, Christ.
00:15:28I have your mouth, too.
00:15:30Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:15:34not someone they can just have sex with.
00:15:36You're an idiot.
00:15:37A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:15:42Seriously, come on, hurry up.
00:15:45Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:15:51I love it.
00:15:53Um, you should put that down, though,
00:15:56because it's like, it's really...
00:15:57Very fragile.
00:15:58Yeah.
00:15:59Okay.
00:16:00Set it down.
00:16:01Hurry up.
00:16:02Okay.
00:16:03Those are your anal beads, right?
00:16:06Yeah.
00:16:07Okay.
00:16:08Let's go.
00:16:09Let's go.
00:16:10Let's go.
00:16:11Let's go.
00:16:12Let's go.
00:16:13Let's go.
00:16:14Let's go.
00:16:15Let's go.
00:16:16Let's go.
00:16:17Let's go.
00:16:18Let's go.
00:16:19Let's go.
00:16:20Let's go.
00:16:21Let's go.
00:16:22Let's go.
00:16:23Let's go.
00:16:24Let's go.
00:16:25Let's go.
00:16:26Let's go.
00:16:27Let's go.
00:16:28Oh, it's fun.
00:16:29Oh, Jesus.
00:16:30Oh, Jesus.
00:16:31Whoa.
00:16:32Hold up.
00:16:33Oh, we've got to have some fun.
00:16:35Oh, Attack of the Wet t-shirts.
00:16:37Nice.
00:16:38Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:16:39It's kidding.
00:16:40Come on.
00:16:41Come on.
00:16:42Ah, come on.
00:16:43Check, check, check, check, check, check.
00:16:48Happy birthday, Lex.
00:16:50No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:16:54That is lip poison to plump your lips,
00:16:57but be careful it stings.
00:16:59And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:17:02Oh, how did you know?
00:17:04I mean, I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:17:06Please don't touch my service time.
00:17:08All right.
00:17:09Sorry.
00:17:10Are you okay now?
00:17:11Yeah, I'm fine.
00:17:12Okay.
00:17:13See you later.
00:17:14I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:17:15This is crazy.
00:17:16Jake.
00:17:17Hi.
00:17:18Hey, Ben.
00:17:19Happy birthday.
00:17:21I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:17:23This is crazy.
00:17:24Jake.
00:17:25Hi.
00:17:26Hey, Ben.
00:17:27Happy birthday.
00:17:29I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:17:31This is crazy.
00:17:32Jake.
00:17:33Hi.
00:17:34Hey, Ben.
00:17:35Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:38What?
00:17:39You want a beer?
00:17:40No.
00:17:41Oh, hon.
00:17:42Come here.
00:17:43I have your present here.
00:17:44I'll give it to you later.
00:17:45The time's ready.
00:17:46Oh.
00:17:47You didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:48And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:17:49Hey, Ralph.
00:17:50We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:17:51We'll bet.
00:17:52All right.
00:17:53All right.
00:17:54This is my man right here.
00:17:55Hey.
00:17:56How you doing?
00:17:57Hey.
00:17:58Hey.
00:17:59Hey.
00:18:00How you doing?
00:18:01Hey.
00:18:02Hey.
00:18:03Hey.
00:18:04Hey.
00:18:05Check it out.
00:18:06Check it out.
00:18:07Deremy.
00:18:08Deremy.
00:18:09Hey.
00:18:10Hey.
00:18:11How you doing?
00:18:12Hey.
00:18:13Oh, wait.
00:18:14Oh, wait.
00:18:15Oh.
00:18:16Oh.
00:18:17Hey.
00:18:18Oh.
00:18:19All right.
00:18:20This is my man right here.
00:18:21Hey.
00:18:22How you doing?
00:18:23Hey.
00:18:33Check it out.
00:18:35Deremy.
00:18:37Oh.
00:18:42Oh, dude, look at those.
00:18:55Are those real?
00:18:56Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:18:57Hey!
00:18:58Dude, move!
00:18:59Come on, lame!
00:19:00Oh, all right.
00:19:01Okay.
00:19:02I'll see you guys later.
00:19:03Go do some push-ups or something.
00:19:05Aw, the moves.
00:19:06Wendy Buck says, by the end of the day,
00:19:08I will be motorboating those titties.
00:19:10Yeah!
00:19:12They're fake anyways.
00:19:14Who cares?
00:19:15Okay!
00:19:17Oh, dude, dude!
00:19:21I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:19:25Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:19:28Here, let me.
00:19:29Joanna, no.
00:19:30Just go enjoy the party.
00:19:32Come on.
00:19:33Open.
00:19:35Hey.
00:19:36Do my lips work?
00:19:38Hey.
00:19:39Do my lips look any plumper?
00:19:41I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:19:45Have you guys seen Jake?
00:19:46I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:19:47It just, like, disappeared.
00:19:49Are these real?
00:19:51Of course they are.
00:19:52I just wonder.
00:19:53How come I could have met you before?
00:19:54I don't know.
00:19:55Maybe he's just gonna be around.
00:19:56Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:19:57Um, I think he's around or something.
00:19:58Maybe upstairs.
00:19:59I don't know.
00:20:00Maybe he wants to go get my baby.
00:20:01I don't know.
00:20:02Maybe he wants to go get my baby.
00:20:03I don't know.
00:20:04I don't know.
00:20:05I don't know.
00:20:06Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:20:07That's probably where he went.
00:20:08I don't know.
00:20:09I don't know.
00:20:10Maybe he's just gonna be around.
00:20:11Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:20:13Um, I think he's around or something.
00:20:16Maybe upstairs.
00:20:17I don't know.
00:20:18Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:20:21That's probably where he went.
00:20:23Go roll.
00:20:28Liquid Courage?
00:20:29Yeah.
00:20:30Atta girl.
00:20:31Vodka Cranberry?
00:20:36It's really simple.
00:20:39Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:20:41I gotta go meet Rod.
00:20:43Sue?
00:20:44Are you okay?
00:20:46Sue?
00:20:47Relax.
00:20:50They're just nice.
00:20:51Okay, nothing to be scared of.
00:20:52Seriously.
00:20:53Gonna be fine.
00:20:54Is Chris here?
00:21:01Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:04No.
00:21:05He does not have gay face.
00:21:07I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:21:09I'm gonna do it.
00:21:15Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:21:18No.
00:21:19He does not have gay face.
00:21:22I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:21:24I'm gonna do it.
00:21:25I'm gonna do this.
00:21:26Good luck.
00:21:27Good luck.
00:21:30Hey, you can do this.
00:21:32Just act like a slut.
00:21:37Just pretend...
00:21:39You're Lex.
00:21:47Yeah, my favorite chapter is Song of War.
00:21:51Chris.
00:21:52Hi.
00:21:54Can I talk to you?
00:21:55Huh?
00:21:57Um...
00:21:58In private?
00:21:59Oh.
00:22:14Hey, Lexi.
00:22:15Hey, Lexi.
00:22:16What?
00:22:17Chris.
00:22:19You're so sexy.
00:22:22Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just...
00:22:25I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:22:29And I really want to...
00:22:32Oh!
00:22:33What are you doing?
00:22:34Is that wrong?
00:22:35Sue!
00:22:36What's gotten into you?
00:22:37Nothing.
00:22:38I'm...
00:22:39I'm sorry.
00:22:40I don't know how to do this.
00:22:41Sue.
00:22:43Sue.
00:22:44Sue.
00:22:45Sue.
00:22:47I understand these...
00:22:49urges.
00:22:50And...
00:22:51You know...
00:22:52I like you too.
00:22:53Really?
00:22:54You do?
00:22:55I do.
00:22:56I really do.
00:22:57I like you too.
00:22:58Really?
00:22:59You do?
00:23:00I do.
00:23:01I really do.
00:23:02I like you too.
00:23:03Really?
00:23:04You do?
00:23:05I do.
00:23:06I really do.
00:23:07It's just...
00:23:08I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:23:14Right.
00:23:16Lexi said you were...
00:23:17Jesus.
00:23:18Oh.
00:23:19That man.
00:23:20Of course.
00:23:21What did you think?
00:23:22Oh, nothing.
00:23:24So we can still do this then?
00:23:27Oh, Sue.
00:23:30You know...
00:23:31For me...
00:23:34When I think about that man...
00:23:37Who died for our sins...
00:23:39When I think about him...
00:23:41Up there on that cross...
00:23:43So helpless.
00:23:44Yet so...
00:23:46Muscular.
00:23:48With his strong...
00:23:50Thighs...
00:23:52Crossed over each other.
00:23:54So...
00:23:55Delicately.
00:23:56Beneath that...
00:23:58Ragged...
00:23:59Loin cloth.
00:24:00Growing so hot.
00:24:03So sweaty.
00:24:04Under that hot...
00:24:06Hot sun.
00:24:08I just feel such...
00:24:10Compassion.
00:24:12I think about those things too.
00:24:14So you understand...
00:24:16Why I can't do this?
00:24:18Not really.
00:24:20I just find it too hard...
00:24:22It is...
00:24:23To...
00:24:24Give in to carnal...
00:24:26Pleasure when...
00:24:27He sacrificed so much for us.
00:24:30So...
00:24:31So...
00:24:32You're gonna go out there, right?
00:24:44Andy, we're gonna totally throw these on.
00:24:46Jake.
00:24:47Hey, Ty.
00:24:48Whoa!
00:24:50Have you seen Jake?
00:24:51Uh...
00:24:52No.
00:24:53No.
00:24:54Alright.
00:24:57Okay.
00:24:58Alright, focus.
00:24:59Focus, focus.
00:25:00Oh, there he is.
00:25:07Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:25:13How could he?
00:25:28Sue?
00:25:29What happened?
00:25:30Did you guys do it?
00:25:31Sue?
00:25:32He doesn't want me.
00:25:33Because he's gay.
00:25:34No, he's not.
00:25:35He doesn't want me.
00:25:36He just really loves Jesus.
00:25:37Oh, come on, Sue.
00:25:38The only reason we even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for
00:25:51you.
00:25:52Look, the only way you were gonna find out what kind of man you really want is to know
00:25:57what kind of woman you really are deep inside.
00:26:02What?
00:26:03Come with me.
00:26:04Where?
00:26:05To meet your dark side.
00:26:07Leave.
00:26:08Out.
00:26:09Everyone out.
00:26:10Sue.
00:26:11It's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:26:28I really can't.
00:26:29I really don't think I can do this.
00:26:31I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:35I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:54I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:27:00Sue?
00:27:02Can you see it?
00:27:03Sue?
00:27:04I'm almost...
00:27:05I'm almost there.
00:27:06Oh!
00:27:07What?
00:27:08What?
00:27:09Sue, what happened?
00:27:10What did you see?
00:27:11A raccoon?
00:27:12What?
00:27:13You overshot it.
00:27:14Aim the mirror further up.
00:27:28I can't.
00:27:29Please don't make me do that again.
00:27:31Okay.
00:27:32Fine.
00:27:33Fine.
00:27:34I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:27:35What?
00:27:36You really need an orgasm.
00:27:37Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've
00:27:39never even had it with yourself.
00:27:41This really has to be your first step.
00:27:42Les, I'm ready.
00:27:43Coming.
00:27:44Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:27:48Just find it and use it.
00:27:49Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:27:50It's black.
00:27:51It vibrates.
00:27:52Come on, Rod.
00:27:53Let's go to Sue's room.
00:27:54And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:28:22Hey, cutie cutie
00:28:34Good boy, straighten up
00:28:53Good boy, good boy
00:28:56He knows over a hundred commands
00:28:59I'm sorry, I can't see anything
00:29:02That is not funny, Cheryl
00:29:04What a bitch
00:29:06Fortunately, when you're blind you get used to things like that
00:29:32Oh shit
00:29:40What's wrong with this thing?
00:29:46Nice shot
00:29:48Direct hit
00:29:52Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:29:54It's Jake
00:29:56He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl
00:29:58For sure?
00:30:00I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him so maybe, maybe it's my fault
00:30:08That's no excuse, he's a dirtbag, how dare he?
00:30:10No, it's awful
00:30:12I mean, I thought I was gonna marry him
00:30:16It's a text, it's from him, I can't bear myself to read it
00:30:18Okay
00:30:20Uh, he's looking for you
00:30:22He wants to give you your birthday gift
00:30:24Oh, I can't face him
00:30:26Um, I have to go, I'm going
00:30:28No, you can't just leave
00:30:30Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened, I mean, maybe I should confront him
00:30:42I know
00:30:44He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again
00:30:46Either way, it's bullshit
00:30:48I see only one option
00:30:50I'm leaving
00:30:52Revenge sex
00:30:54Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:30:56It means you find a guy
00:30:58You screw his brain to do it
00:31:00I'm leaving
00:31:02I'm leaving
00:31:04Revenge sex
00:31:06Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:08It means you find a guy
00:31:10You screw his brains out
00:31:12And you let Jake catch you
00:31:14Revenge sex
00:31:16Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:18It means you find a guy
00:31:20You screw his brains out
00:31:22And you let Jake catch you
00:31:24But he- I mean, he doesn't even care
00:31:26He doesn't even care about me
00:31:28I mean, why would-
00:31:30He's just into other girls
00:31:32Trust me, he'll care
00:31:34Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him
00:31:36To his ego
00:31:38To his ego
00:31:40To screw someone else when you've never even had sex
00:31:42With him
00:31:44Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking
00:31:46And with a bigger dick
00:31:48No, I- I couldn't
00:31:50Plus, I mean, there's
00:31:52There's no one smarter and better looking
00:31:54Eric
00:31:56He's perfect
00:31:58Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:32:00I mean, he wouldn't even be into me
00:32:02He likes your type
00:32:04Really? And what type is that?
00:32:06He's bloody
00:32:08Yeah
00:32:10Trust me, he's amazing
00:32:12I fooled around with him once
00:32:13He has this great tongue ring
00:32:14Oh, no
00:32:16I could never fool around with somebody you've fooled around with
00:32:18Okay then
00:32:19Fine
00:32:20We will find someone else
00:32:22Someone that I haven't
00:32:24Fooled around with
00:32:26Okay, what does it matter?
00:32:30That I fooled around with him?
00:32:32I mean, it's like you're not gonna marry the guy
00:32:34No, I just couldn't do it
00:32:36Fine
00:32:37If you wanna live the rest of your life
00:32:39Knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing
00:32:41To make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage
00:32:45And possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence
00:32:47And you chose not to do it
00:32:49Go ahead
00:32:51But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself
00:32:55I don't know
00:32:59But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself
00:33:03I don't know
00:33:05Trust me
00:33:07It's going to work
00:33:13I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs
00:33:17Hi Cheryl
00:33:19Are you okay enough to chat with us?
00:33:21Oh no
00:33:23Hey
00:33:35Happy birthday
00:33:37Thanks
00:33:53Have you guys seen Jake?
00:34:09So
00:34:11Happy birthday
00:34:13Happy birthday
00:34:15Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:34:19But it's actually from us
00:34:21U.S.
00:34:23America
00:34:25United States
00:34:27I know where we live
00:34:29Right
00:34:31Of course
00:34:35I know where we live
00:34:37Of course
00:34:43Hey, Jesus, Erica
00:34:44Are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:45Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:46Yeah, no
00:34:47I can totally move
00:34:48I just
00:34:49No
00:34:50You're fine
00:34:51Jake
00:34:52So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:35:09Oh, I'm sorry
00:35:11It?
00:35:12It?
00:35:13What, um
00:35:14It?
00:35:15Like
00:35:16Monkey boning
00:35:17And like
00:35:18Pigs in a blanket
00:35:20Get real nasty
00:35:22Oh
00:35:23Oh, you mean like
00:35:25Uh
00:35:26Right now?
00:35:28I mean, well
00:35:29Yeah
00:35:30You know, the sooner the better
00:35:33Yeah, sure
00:35:34I mean, well
00:35:35Yeah, of course
00:35:36Um
00:35:37I just never realized that you
00:35:39I mean
00:35:42Whew
00:35:43Uh
00:35:45It's just
00:35:48You're so
00:35:49You're so beautiful
00:35:51Okay
00:35:52Um
00:35:53Hmm?
00:35:54Uh, no Cassine
00:35:56Right
00:35:57Um
00:35:58Of course
00:35:59Sorry
00:36:03So, um
00:36:06Do you wanna unwrap me?
00:36:08Oh, wow
00:36:09Uh
00:36:10You're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket
00:36:11Or
00:36:12A leftover macaroni and cheese
00:36:14Now that you're left over
00:36:15You're not
00:36:16You, uh
00:36:17You're fresh
00:36:21Now that you're left over
00:36:22You're not
00:36:23You, uh
00:36:24You're fresh
00:36:25Organic
00:36:27Yep
00:36:28So the wrap
00:36:29Right
00:36:30Um
00:36:31Where's the, uh
00:36:32It's, uh, the end
00:36:33Just like right over here
00:36:34Oh, oh yeah, here it is
00:36:35Yeah
00:36:36I see it
00:36:37Um
00:36:38Let me just, uh
00:36:39Uh
00:36:40Ow, ow, ow, ow
00:36:41Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry
00:36:42I, um
00:36:43It's okay
00:36:44Do it again
00:36:45Sorry, I, uh
00:36:46I, uh
00:36:47Sorry, I, uh
00:36:48It's, it's okay
00:36:49Here
00:36:50Do it again
00:36:52Sorry, I, uh
00:36:53I, uh
00:36:54I bite my nails
00:36:55So it's a little difficult
00:36:56You know what?
00:36:57Let me just
00:36:58Lay on the bed
00:36:59Okay
00:37:05Uh
00:37:06Let me just
00:37:08See
00:37:09Oh
00:37:10Here it is
00:37:11I got it
00:37:12Alright, just, um
00:37:13Pull it
00:37:14Let me just
00:37:15Ah
00:37:16Oh
00:37:17Oh
00:37:18Geez
00:37:19Uh, Cheryl, are you
00:37:20You okay?
00:37:21Help
00:37:22Help
00:37:23Uh
00:37:26Hey Cheryl, are you okay?
00:37:28Oh
00:37:29Oh
00:37:30Geez
00:37:31Here
00:37:32Here
00:37:33Here
00:37:34Here
00:37:35Well, that was stupid
00:37:39Yeah
00:37:40How you doing tonight?
00:37:41You having a good time?
00:37:42Yeah?
00:37:43You good?
00:37:44Jake!
00:37:45I think I saw Cheryl upstairs
00:37:46What?
00:37:47I can't hear you
00:37:48I didn't have a beer
00:37:49Chips are so damn salty
00:37:50Jake!
00:37:51Sorry, we're
00:37:52Upstairs
00:37:53Yeah
00:37:54Hold on
00:37:55Take a piss
00:37:56How much beer
00:37:57Oh
00:37:58Oh
00:37:59Oh
00:38:00Male
00:38:02Oh
00:38:03Oh
00:38:04Chips are so damn salty
00:38:05Jake
00:38:06Up
00:38:07Straight
00:38:08Up
00:38:09Stairs
00:38:10Yeah
00:38:11Hold on
00:38:12Take a piss
00:38:13How much beer?
00:38:14Oh
00:38:15I'm going back, I'm going back in a swing
00:38:19Where if I'm up to the world I do
00:38:22I'm going back, I'm going back in a swing
00:38:24If you're taking a line of the money
00:38:26Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh
00:38:30Ah oh, ah, ah oh, ah oh
00:38:35Finally, I, uh...
00:38:45let me just get the blinds oh no no no no no um don't don't worry about it what
00:38:52i mean i want us to be able to see each other oh well okay okay
00:39:16finally i uh let me just get the blinds oh no no no no um don't don't worry about it what
00:39:26i mean i want us to be able to see each other
00:39:31oh well okay okay
00:39:45so
00:39:57What are you doing?
00:40:25Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:40:34Um, not yet. More foreplay.
00:40:36Huh? Oh.
00:40:44So good.
00:40:47Ah.
00:40:49Yep.
00:40:50Ow, I draw. Draw, draw, draw.
00:40:54What? What? What?
00:40:55Ah. Ah. Oh.
00:40:57Ah.
00:40:59Lockjaw, lockjaw.
00:41:01Is that even a thing?
00:41:03I don't know.
00:41:05Ah.
00:41:07Are you okay?
00:41:09No, no, no, no, no. It's, uh, it's fine. I'm just, uh, embarrassed. I, it's probably TMJ or fracture or swollen.
00:41:24Are you sure you're okay?
00:41:26Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:41:27Okay, great. Have fun.
00:41:28Oh.
00:41:35Now. Now, let's do now.
00:41:37No, not yet. Not yet.
00:41:38Not yet.
00:41:39Not yet.
00:41:41Alright, I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come. Are you ready?
00:41:43No. Not yet. Not yet.
00:41:44No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:41:47No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:41:48Lexi! Lexi!
00:41:49Oh!
00:41:50Oh!
00:41:51Oh, no, no, no, not yet, Lexi, Lexi, oh, no means no.
00:42:02Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:42:05It's been a really long time and I just, I haven't been masturbating for anything.
00:42:16Oh, hey Jake.
00:42:19How you doing?
00:42:21How's it going?
00:42:22Good.
00:42:23Eric?
00:42:24Come.
00:42:25Eric, help me, I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:42:29Excuse me.
00:42:34Cheryl's in here.
00:42:40Sup, bro?
00:42:42What the fuck is...
00:42:44Hey, wait!
00:42:48Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:42:57Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see, I'm blind.
00:43:02Damn it.
00:43:03I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch.
00:43:06Hey, you!
00:43:07You!
00:43:08You better stop making fun of the blind or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:43:12Help!
00:43:15I'm so sorry!
00:43:16I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:43:18Ha!
00:43:19Hey, hey, hey!
00:43:21Hey, hey, hey!
00:43:23Watch the deer go around.
00:43:25I can't crash.
00:43:29Oh, man. No more water balloons.
00:43:35This party's ass.
00:43:37I can't crash.
00:43:39Oh, man. No more water balloons.
00:43:41This party's ass.
00:43:43I can't crash.
00:43:45Oh, man. No more water balloons.
00:43:47This party's ass.
00:43:53Yeah!
00:43:57This just isn't working.
00:43:59Nothing.
00:44:01What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:44:07I can carry the antelope sticks.
00:44:09Spark it up!
00:44:11Yes!
00:44:13Oh, man!
00:44:15Oh, man!
00:44:17I love this game!
00:44:18We need the controllers.
00:44:19We gotta play.
00:44:20Here, here, here.
00:44:21Okay, let me find another one.
00:44:22All right, flash on!
00:44:24Woo!
00:44:26Whoa!
00:44:27Look at this!
00:44:29Oh, my God!
00:44:31Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:44:33Get that thing away!
00:44:34Jesus!
00:44:35Hey, dude.
00:44:36Nice shot.
00:44:37Wasn't me.
00:44:38Whoa!
00:44:39Whoa!
00:44:40Nice!
00:44:41Are you sitting in there or something?
00:44:42Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:44:43Nice!
00:44:44Nice!
00:44:45Nice!
00:44:46Nice!
00:44:47Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:44:48Nice!
00:44:49Nice!
00:44:50Nice!
00:44:51Nice!
00:44:52Nice!
00:44:53Are you sitting in there or something?
00:44:54Hey, you found the grenade launcher.
00:44:56Nice!
00:44:57Nice!
00:44:58Nice!
00:44:59Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:01Whoa!
00:45:26Whoa!
00:45:30You are the controller I didn't
00:46:00Hey, didn't you hear me calling you?
00:46:10Yeah, I just needed to
00:46:11Oh, sure
00:46:14Listen, Sue
00:46:17I was rethinking what I said earlier
00:46:20You were?
00:46:22You mean
00:46:23Yeah
00:46:26So you think we should give it a try?
00:46:33Can we go get a drink?
00:46:38Wow, um, your toilet's really clogged
00:46:42You know what?
00:46:44I gotta go
00:46:45Um, happy birthday
00:46:46No, Chris, no, there wasn't
00:46:48I didn't have
00:46:49Oh, God, never mind
00:46:56It's the end of the world
00:46:58This is the worst idea ever
00:47:06Never going to have sex
00:47:08Ow
00:47:26Hello
00:47:31A little attention here
00:47:33Oh, yeah, sorry
00:47:36Lex, don't be selfish
00:47:44Oh, right
00:47:45Sorry
00:47:46Oh, jeez
00:48:01Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:48:05Too much fucking multitasking
00:48:07Screw it
00:48:08Oh, jeez
00:48:23Oh, my God.
00:48:53No, that was bad.
00:48:56That was so bad.
00:49:11Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:49:16I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:49:19Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:49:27Yes, it does.
00:49:29So, you're JJ?
00:49:30Uh-oh.
00:49:31I think that's a good one.
00:49:33I think that's a good one.
00:49:35Yes, I'm completely concerned.
00:49:36Come with me, set the name.
00:49:38Hello.
00:49:38Hello.
00:49:43Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS.
00:49:59Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:50:01A nun.
00:50:03Please punch in your credit card number.
00:50:10Please hold.
00:50:12Oh, thank goodness.
00:50:171-900-CONFESSION.
00:50:18How may I be of service?
00:50:20It's been one day since my last confession.
00:50:22I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:50:24One day.
00:50:28Ow!
00:50:33Is that too long?
00:50:35I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:50:38Go on.
00:50:39Um, okay.
00:50:41Well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:50:44Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:50:46What's her problem?
00:50:48A washing machine touched her.
00:50:52Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:50:56All right, freak.
00:50:57Time's up.
00:50:58What?
00:50:58But what do I do?
00:50:59Just unplug the thing.
00:51:01No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:51:05Well, then be happy.
00:51:08You found the perfect man.
00:51:09I'm serious.
00:51:10Look, honey.
00:51:11You seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:51:15I'll tell you this.
00:51:17Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:51:20No contritions?
00:51:22You broke no covenant with God.
00:51:24It's not in the Bible.
00:51:26So, the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:51:30Like, morning, afternoon, night?
00:51:33Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:51:36Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:51:39Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:51:42Huh.
00:51:44God's pretty cool that way.
00:51:45He sure is.
00:51:47Now run along.
00:51:51Wow.
00:51:53How do you know all that?
00:51:55Because I'm a nun.
00:51:57Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:52:00Huh.
00:52:00Accidental masturbation.
00:52:02Who'd it think?
00:52:03Revenge sex with a stupid fucking idiot.
00:52:17God, I'm getting out of here.
00:52:21Yeah, admit it.
00:52:22I've got no game.
00:52:23Fuckin' douchebag.
00:52:34Damn it.
00:52:35Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:52:38You go, girl.
00:52:41What?
00:52:41What are you doing here?
00:52:45We needed someplace private.
00:52:48But hey, listen.
00:52:49If you're serious about getting laid.
00:52:51Yeah.
00:52:51If you want someone great.
00:52:53I mean, really, the best ever.
00:52:58No offense.
00:53:00Frank.
00:53:00The blind guy?
00:53:02Really?
00:53:03I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:53:06I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:53:09It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:53:12It was like we used all our senses.
00:53:16Everything.
00:53:19If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:53:23All right.
00:53:30What about him?
00:53:32Jeremy.
00:53:33Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:53:35I think I fooled around with him once.
00:53:38I didn't know his last name, though.
00:53:41It's Jones.
00:53:43Jeremy Jones.
00:53:44This all makes sense.
00:53:46Excuse me.
00:53:48Jeremy.
00:53:50Hi.
00:53:51Hey.
00:53:52Who's on the phone?
00:53:53Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:53:56You'll meet her.
00:53:57Could be here in like an hour.
00:53:58Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:54:12Hey, Frank.
00:54:16Sit.
00:54:22Oh, you meant...
00:54:23You meant the dog.
00:54:27Relax.
00:54:29You need to relax and calm down.
00:54:31Oh, I'm...
00:54:43I'm relaxed.
00:54:44I'm fine.
00:54:45Why are you biting you now?
00:54:47I'm not.
00:54:48How did you know that?
00:54:55Corner.
00:54:56Sit.
00:54:56I'm fine.
00:55:00Sit.
00:55:02Roll over.
00:55:06Oh, you mean me.
00:55:10Roll over.
00:55:14Oh, you mean me.
00:55:15Oh, how do you...
00:55:17How do you want me to...
00:55:20Just lay down.
00:55:20You want me...
00:55:21Oh, you mean me.
00:55:33Oh.
00:55:33Oh.
00:55:34I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:55:37Considering it a teachable moment.
00:55:40Okay.
00:55:43Oh.
00:55:47See me with your hands.
00:55:51All right.
00:55:53Uh...
00:55:54You know, I should really...
00:56:02I have a boyfriend, and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:56:05Really.
00:56:09Oh.
00:56:10Mm, peanut butter.
00:56:37Frank.
00:56:37Frank.
00:56:38Oh.
00:56:40Frank.
00:56:42Oh.
00:56:42Oh, Frank.
00:56:43Oh.
00:56:43Frank.
00:57:10Yo, man, dude, give me a chip.
00:57:13My chips, old boy.
00:57:14Dude, give me a chip, man.
00:57:16My chips.
00:57:17Dude, my chip.
00:57:18Dude, give me a chip.
00:57:21My chips?
00:57:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:57:26Sorry.
00:57:35It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:57:38That's all.
00:57:40Come on, let me do this.
00:57:44Go ahead.
00:57:45I'm not it.
00:57:46No, really, please.
00:57:47I want to help.
00:57:49I see.
00:57:52OK, everybody out.
00:57:54Leave.
00:57:55I have to vacuum.
00:58:10You're not even getting the chips.
00:58:12They're over here.
00:58:14I see some dust over here, so it's just so much dust on this floor.
00:58:24This is dirty floor.
00:58:26Such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:58:31It's...
00:58:32doesn't mean it'll be murky.
00:58:45Oh.
00:58:46No.
00:58:47Oh.
00:58:48It's here.
00:58:49Oh, baby.
00:58:49Oh.
00:58:50It's all back over here.
00:58:51OK.
00:58:51Oh, I think I got all that.
00:58:56I'm just going to see how, oh.
00:59:07Oh, here's my chest.
00:59:09Frankie.
00:59:11Oh, my. Oh.
00:59:12Who's that?
00:59:13What?
00:59:15Fucking shit.
00:59:16Oh, man, we got to smoke.
00:59:17Oh, we can smoke in here.
00:59:21Stop. Frank, stop teasing Frank.
00:59:24Oh, shit.
00:59:26Oh, sorry, man.
00:59:27We're just looking for a place to finish this road.
00:59:30Oh, I heard something.
00:59:31You want to join us?
00:59:32Uh, no, I might.
00:59:33Come on, you gotta do it.
00:59:35Come on.
00:59:36Seriously, guys, I need to go.
00:59:37Watch your dog, man, dude.
00:59:39What's it like being blinded?
00:59:40It's tripping.
00:59:45Frank?
00:59:47Frank, are we going to do something soon?
00:59:51Bro, you are too funny.
00:59:55Thanks, man.
00:59:57Oh, this is some good stuff.
00:59:59I haven't smoked since junior high.
01:00:01Dude, I didn't stop smoking since junior high.
01:00:04Wait, wait, wait.
01:00:05I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
01:00:10Damn, I really can't remember.
01:00:12This is some good shit.
01:00:14Oh, no.
01:00:15You're the devil.
01:00:16No more.
01:00:17JJ.
01:00:18I'm Jeremy.
01:00:19You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:00:21Please.
01:00:22Lex, I can't.
01:00:23You're not.
01:00:24You're the devil.
01:00:25I won't be the devil.
01:00:26No more.
01:00:28JJ.
01:00:29I'm Jeremy.
01:00:30You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:00:43Look, you have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
01:00:47Please.
01:00:49Lex, I can't.
01:00:52I mean, I got a girlfriend. I really like this girl.
01:00:55Fine.
01:00:57It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra,
01:01:02and I also have on crotchless panties
01:01:06with just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
01:01:12Oh.
01:01:15Ah.
01:01:17We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
01:01:19Perfect.
01:01:24Before she gets here.
01:01:25Perfect.
01:01:37Do it. Let's do it.
01:01:39Fuck me. Fuck me now.
01:01:42What? What's wrong?
01:01:48I can't. I can't get it in.
01:01:51Just try down there. It's like desert down there. It's sandpaper.
01:01:57Okay, I get the picture. Just try it again.
01:02:03No. Why is this happening?
01:02:06We fooled around before. I was dripping wet. I came like four times, remember?
01:02:12Just do what you did then. Go on.
01:02:14I already did my thing. I already tried.
01:02:18What? What is different this time?
01:02:21I don't know.
01:02:23Last time...
01:02:27I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
01:02:29What?
01:02:30You're not JJ?
01:02:32But your name is Jeremy Jones. How can you not be JJ?
01:02:38Who the hell is this JJ?
01:02:41Where are you going? We're not done here.
01:02:44I can still do this. I just need a little bit of fun.
01:02:46What?
01:02:47What?
01:02:48I can do this.
01:02:49I don't need JJ. I don't need anyone else. We can do this.
01:02:55Go team.
01:02:59What?
01:03:00Just keep going.
01:03:05Jeremy?
01:03:07Shit.
01:03:10Jeremy?
01:03:11Where's Jeremy?
01:03:21Uh, we were just, you know, from here.
01:03:24Hey babe. Just working out.
01:03:31How could you, you bastard?
01:03:37You might wanna...
01:03:39What?
01:03:41Ah!
01:03:45Mariela!
01:03:47Mariela!
01:03:49You know those aren't mine!
01:03:51At least not all of them.
01:03:54What is wrong with you?
01:04:00What is wrong with you?
01:04:02It used to be so pure.
01:04:05Well no more. That's it.
01:04:08Really, that's the last one.
01:04:11That's the last one.
01:04:12What is wrong with you?
01:04:13We have to drink in a bowl.
01:04:14But you just have to drink.
01:04:15So you've got to drink.
01:04:17You also got to drink and enjoy some more.
01:04:21You have to drink.
01:04:22A little bit of a drink.
01:04:23I'm not gonna drink, too.
01:04:25Don't drink too much.
01:04:27Don't drink too much.
01:04:29No âŹ3.
01:04:31We've got to drink too much.
01:04:34The one- Patrick is going to drink too much.
01:04:36Cheryl?
01:04:43What is it?
01:04:48What are you doing down here?
01:04:50Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:04:55What?
01:04:56Why?
01:04:57Nothing.
01:04:58Just this lying guy and his dog.
01:05:01Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:05:05No, it's not okay.
01:05:08God.
01:05:09And you know whose fault it is?
01:05:11I'm sorry.
01:05:12It's Jake's.
01:05:13Jake's fault.
01:05:14That lying, cheating bastard.
01:05:17Yes.
01:05:18He is such a dickwad.
01:05:20You need to confront him.
01:05:22Yeah.
01:05:23Yeah, I need to confront him.
01:05:25I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:05:28Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:05:30You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:05:33Yeah, a big piece.
01:05:34A big old chunk of my mind.
01:05:37A big piece of it.
01:05:38Yeah.
01:05:39You know, you might wanna...
01:05:42You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:05:45Yeah, you're right.
01:05:46Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:05:48I know.
01:05:49I'm sorry.
01:05:50I'm sorry.
01:05:51I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:06:04I got no game.
01:06:13It's not important.
01:06:27Hey, um...
01:06:28Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:06:29No, no, no.
01:06:30I really need to talk to you.
01:06:31Really, Eric, I can't right now.
01:06:34Sorry.
01:06:35No, no, no.
01:06:36I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make it
01:06:41up to you.
01:06:42Eric, really?
01:06:43I don't care.
01:06:44It's fine.
01:06:45No, but I do.
01:06:46I mean, I do.
01:06:47I care.
01:06:48I haven't known how to tell you.
01:06:52Maybe because, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:06:55But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime.
01:07:02Soon.
01:07:03Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out with
01:07:08like...
01:07:09Eric, you're shy.
01:07:10You have no game.
01:07:11No, not really.
01:07:16Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:07:17Sorry.
01:07:22Okay.
01:07:23Alright.
01:07:24I, uh...
01:07:27Happy birthday, then.
01:07:41I'm sorry.
01:07:42I was trying to kiss you.
01:07:52Wow.
01:08:06Here I come, baby.
01:08:07Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:08:13Oh.
01:08:14Eric, stop.
01:08:15Um, we can't do this.
01:08:16Oh, God damn it.
01:08:17Not again.
01:08:18Oh, no, um...
01:08:19Honey, happy...
01:08:22What the fuck is this?
01:08:24Who the hell are you, dude?
01:08:26Okay.
01:08:27Guys, don't.
01:08:28Cheryl.
01:08:31Cheryl.
01:08:32Baby.
01:08:33What is this?
01:08:35Oh, gee, Cheryl.
01:08:37You're...
01:08:39I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:08:42Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:08:44You couldn't find me?
01:08:46What about all those girls' vaginas you were in or your penis getting sucked?
01:08:51Cheryl, honey.
01:08:53No, no.
01:08:54We can work this out.
01:08:55Baby, I love you.
01:08:56Jake, no.
01:08:57You have to go.
01:08:58Baby, I'll be faithful from now on.
01:08:59No.
01:09:00Please.
01:09:01I promise.
01:09:02No, Jake.
01:09:03I can't do this.
01:09:04I'm sorry.
01:09:05Cheryl, come on.
01:09:06No, Jake, please.
01:09:07Please, come on.
01:09:08Just go.
01:09:09I'm sorry.
01:09:10You're a harmless bitch!
01:09:11How can you do...
01:09:13Yay!
01:09:14You did it.
01:09:15I'm so proud of you.
01:09:16You got your revenge sex.
01:09:18You left him in your shell of a man.
01:09:20Oh, no.
01:09:21Revenge sex?
01:09:24It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:09:27Right.
01:09:29That all makes sense now.
01:09:32Wow.
01:09:33I feel really stupid.
01:09:35Eric, I'm really...
01:09:36I'm really sorry.
01:09:38Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:09:41And he used me.
01:09:44Eric, please don't go.
01:09:45Please, Eric!
01:09:48Aren't you happy?
01:09:51Well, no.
01:09:52That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:09:55You mean the sex?
01:09:56Was it...
01:09:57Yeah?
01:09:58No, we didn't quite do it.
01:10:00Oh.
01:10:01You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:10:02Really?
01:10:03I just never found the right guy.
01:10:05Or guys.
01:10:06Anyway.
01:10:07We better get downstairs.
01:10:08People are starting to leave.
01:10:09I wonder how Sue did.
01:10:12Can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:10:13This is bullshit!
01:10:14Oh!
01:10:15Oh!
01:10:16Oh!
01:10:17Oh!
01:10:18Oh!
01:10:19Oh!
01:10:20Oh!
01:10:21Oh!
01:10:22Oh!
01:10:23Oh!
01:10:24Oh!
01:10:25Oh!
01:10:26Oh!
01:10:27Oh!
01:10:28Oh!
01:10:29Oh!
01:10:30Oh!
01:10:31Oh!
01:10:32Oh!
01:10:33Oh!
01:10:34Oh!
01:10:35Oh!
01:10:36Tuck the hell out of here!
01:10:37Ha ha!
01:10:38Yeah!
01:10:39He has good hair though.
01:10:44Don't keep pused on me,
01:10:46and don't pee with my car, either.
01:11:03Sue, are you alright?
01:11:05Was it from sex?
01:11:08Did you pop your cork?
01:11:09I don't think so.
01:11:10Not with the guy, anyway.
01:11:13Oh, don't ask.
01:11:14Every possible object.
01:11:17It's like every mechanical thing.
01:11:18It was like...
01:11:20Transformers.
01:11:21They just all became vibrators.
01:11:23I told you.
01:11:25It's addicting.
01:11:28So what about Chris?
01:11:30Well, last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:11:32I told you he was gay.
01:11:33Oh, okay.
01:11:34Well, I think I'm just...
01:11:36Oh, cramp.
01:11:39Oh, I think it's broken.
01:11:42So wait.
01:11:44None of us cashed an RV card.
01:11:51Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:11:54So let's go grab some food.
01:11:56Wanna go?
01:11:57No, thank you.
01:11:59I think I should finish up here.
01:12:02Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:12:03No.
01:12:06I don't know.
01:12:07For some reason, I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:12:11Or something.
01:12:13Why, do you know him?
01:12:15Sort of.
01:12:16Oh.
01:12:17Well, hey, if you happen to run into him, just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:12:21Leave everything.
01:12:28Love him.
01:12:29Shut it.
01:12:30You wanna do it?
01:12:30I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:12:31I wanna get married.
01:12:32You wanna do it?
01:12:33All right, all right, all right.
01:12:34I don't know.
01:12:58Um, no.
01:13:05No way.
01:13:23Oh well.
01:13:25There's always next year.
01:13:28You're taking me.
01:13:48It's you.
01:13:51I've been waiting for you.
01:13:53JJ.
01:13:54Joanna.
01:13:58Damn.
01:15:30Oh.
01:15:32Yeah.
01:15:35I have to go see him.
01:15:37Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:15:43We should do.
01:15:551-900 confess.
01:15:59Sister Terese?
01:16:01Yeah, hon.
01:16:02There was a problem with your credit card.
01:16:04I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:16:06Oh, sure.
01:16:08It's 271.
01:16:11Sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:16:17Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:16:22Take you back?
01:16:24Sure, hon.
01:16:25Why not?
01:16:26As long as you're on the right path.
01:16:29Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:16:32Sister, I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:16:37Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:16:41Sister, can I get up now?
01:16:44I really gotta pee.
01:16:46No!
01:16:47Hush your trap!
01:16:50Okay, honey.
01:16:51I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:16:55I will.
01:16:56Thanks.
01:17:01Sister?
01:17:02Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:17:16Eric, wait!
01:17:19Cheryl?
01:17:20Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:17:35I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:38At the beginning, but then at the end I wasn't.
01:17:41I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:44The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:17:47Um, I...
01:17:50I do want to go out with you.
01:17:53And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:17:56I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:18:00and he's all over these...
01:18:01Eric!
01:18:02Come on, I gotta get going.
01:18:05Oh.
01:18:07Wow.
01:18:08Um, Cheryl, uh, this is my sister Tina.
01:18:11Tina?
01:18:12Cheryl.
01:18:13Hi.
01:18:14Nice to meet you.
01:18:20Um, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:18:24When I get back?
01:18:26Yeah.
01:18:27Sure.
01:18:34Oh.
01:18:35Sorry.
01:18:36No kissing.
01:18:37Right.
01:18:38Oh.
01:18:39Mmm.
01:18:56Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:18:59sent you? I don't even care that you hooked up a Plexi. Wait, what? I never did that. I mean,
01:19:09you don't have to lie about it. She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:19:12She must have me mixed up with someone else. I wonder who it was.
01:19:29At least this birthday is over.
01:19:47Dear Lord, please forgive me. I mean, if you could just, I don't know, like, send me a sign?
01:20:06I don't know.
01:20:18I don't know.
01:20:26Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you know where the church is? It's on Fountain Street.
01:20:45Yeah, that's the church I go to. Or used to go to. It's straight up that way and then left.
01:20:53Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:20:59Oh, um, I don't know.
01:21:09Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:21:12Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque. Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:21:21I don't think so. But thanks.
01:21:26What's your name? Sue. What's yours?
01:21:29Jesus.
01:21:31Really?
01:21:33Si.
01:21:36Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:39Because I'm tired.
01:21:40I don't think so.
01:21:42I really, I don't know.
01:21:43Anything else?
01:21:44My god!
01:21:45You're nervous.
01:21:46Oh, my god!
01:21:47What's this?
01:21:48What's this?
01:21:51Oh, my god!
01:21:53You're supposed to be like I don't know.
01:21:54The game is even more.
01:21:56It's still missing, too.
01:21:58I don't know.
01:21:59I know.
01:22:00Oh.
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