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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I'll see you next time.
00:00:30Oh, Dad.
00:00:40Hello?
00:00:42Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:45I mean, it's only two days away, and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:49So, I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip, too.
00:00:54Me, too. I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:58Um, I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:01:02Uh, I'm going to lose my virginity to him. You know, I want to surprise him.
00:01:07What? But you can't.
00:01:09I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:01:13Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:01:15You can't break tradition that way.
00:01:19This is bad.
00:01:20You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:22She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:32Come on, Lexi.
00:01:33So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:52Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:55But this is the big one-eight.
00:01:59I mean, every year since our mom's met in the hospital, we've done something new and special.
00:02:03But this has to be newer and more special.
00:02:07So, what's something we've never done before?
00:02:10Mushrooms?
00:02:11No, not like that.
00:02:12Like something nice.
00:02:15Like maybe a trip.
00:02:16Like a mushroom trip?
00:02:18No.
00:02:18Sorry, Sue.
00:02:22I have a date.
00:02:23Oh, so do I.
00:02:26Sorry, Sue.
00:02:27Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:28We'll figure it out.
00:02:42Oh, flowers.
00:02:43Are these from you?
00:02:44Yeah, sure.
00:02:47Here you go.
00:02:48No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:51I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:54I guess, um, you still make me nervous.
00:03:01Oh, Jake.
00:03:06Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:03:09Uh, no, Jake, not yet.
00:03:11When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:03:14The best night of my life.
00:03:16It will be, I promise.
00:03:17It will always be amazing with you and me together.
00:03:31Jake, no.
00:03:31I have to go.
00:03:32I have to work on my art project.
00:03:35You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:38but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:43Uh, so you're going to come to my birthday, okay?
00:03:45This Saturday?
00:03:47Of course.
00:03:47Thanks.
00:03:52Thanks.
00:03:54Okay.
00:03:55Bye.
00:04:05Nothing, nothing, nothing.
00:04:07Oh, baby.
00:04:09You're so hot.
00:04:10I'm going to do you so good.
00:04:11Oh, yeah, baby.
00:04:12Yeah.
00:04:13What was your name again?
00:04:14Rod.
00:04:16Sex guy.
00:04:21Lexi is so upset, she's speechless.
00:04:26Yeah, right.
00:04:27I bet.
00:04:27Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:04:38Oh, no.
00:04:39Does not compute.
00:04:41Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:47Oh, huh.
00:04:49Hi.
00:04:51When did you get home?
00:04:52Um, so is it true?
00:04:54Yes, it is.
00:04:56It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:05:00I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy,
00:05:06and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:05:08So I just think it's the right time.
00:05:12Lexi, tell her, losing our virginity is one of those milestones
00:05:15we should all face together.
00:05:16On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:05:20Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday,
00:05:22or maybe even, like, our 28th.
00:05:26Maybe.
00:05:29Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but...
00:05:32I'm sorry.
00:05:36I know it's tradition, but...
00:05:39I'm sorry.
00:05:40But, Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:49We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:52Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dip?
00:05:56It's not Jake.
00:05:58It's the male ideal.
00:06:00Like...
00:06:01a Greek god, or...
00:06:04Sue's dad.
00:06:05Right.
00:06:07Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
00:06:08I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:06:10I'm not really an artist.
00:06:12Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:06:14The point is, we should all lose our virginities together
00:06:17on the same day,
00:06:18and I'm just not ready yet.
00:06:21I'm waiting for a sign,
00:06:23and then I'll know it's right.
00:06:24Look, I can go either way.
00:06:27I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:06:31I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:06:35Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:06:38But, if you want to do it this year,
00:06:41then maybe we all should.
00:06:44You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:06:52Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:55To church.
00:06:56To pray for you.
00:06:57Want to be first in line.
00:07:00I'm getting this is...
00:07:02Yeah, me too.
00:07:02Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:07:15It's been four days since my last confession.
00:07:17I accused myself of the following sins.
00:07:19Mm-hmm.
00:07:22Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this,
00:07:25but...
00:07:25it's about sex.
00:07:27I mean, not me.
00:07:32I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:07:35Aw.
00:07:37I've never even seen a guy's...
00:07:39Well, there was that one time
00:07:40I took the pants off my Ken doll,
00:07:42but I was dressing him up as Jesus,
00:07:45and I wanted to see his thing,
00:07:47but there was nothing there.
00:07:48Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:07:53My best friends.
00:07:56They're gonna do something really bad this weekend.
00:07:58Okay.
00:08:00Third base.
00:08:02What?
00:08:03No.
00:08:04Like, sex.
00:08:05Like, intercourse?
00:08:07With boys, they barely even know.
00:08:09I mean, they really need us intervention,
00:08:11if you know what I mean.
00:08:12All the way.
00:08:13Go all the way.
00:08:16Woody?
00:08:17What?
00:08:17How could you do this?
00:08:24You're a bad, bad person.
00:08:28What?
00:08:35Yes.
00:08:36Yes.
00:08:37Run.
00:08:38Run.
00:08:39Home route.
00:08:42Damn it.
00:08:45Fucking Yankees.
00:08:46Yes.
00:08:49Sorry.
00:08:49Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:09:16What do you have a little consideration?
00:09:18I'm trying to sleep.
00:09:20Geez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:09:25I have an announcement to make.
00:09:26I want to do it.
00:09:29Do you hear me?
00:09:30I want to do it.
00:09:32This weekend, on our birthday.
00:09:35Do what?
00:09:38It, screw, screwing, boning, making the beast with two backs,
00:09:43you know, shagging, fucking.
00:09:48You do.
00:09:50But what about all your religious stuff?
00:09:53And what about your sign from heaven?
00:09:55Oh, I got a sign at church.
00:09:58Really?
00:09:59Well, okay, great.
00:10:02We're all in then.
00:10:04So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:10:08Right?
00:10:10Right.
00:10:11I'll start making the shopping list.
00:10:14Hey, Frank.
00:10:15Hi, Sue.
00:10:16Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:10:17I don't know.
00:10:18Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:10:19Yeah.
00:10:20He's blind.
00:10:21Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:10:23Wait, are you back?
00:10:24Hey, are you back?
00:10:25Hey, Frank.
00:10:26Hi, Sue.
00:10:27Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:10:30I don't know.
00:10:31Do you think he'd even have fun?
00:10:32Yeah.
00:10:33He's blind.
00:10:34Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:10:37Wait, are you back?
00:10:42Hey.
00:10:43Hey.
00:10:44Um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:10:49It's for our birthdays.
00:10:50Do you want to come?
00:10:52Do you think he can see at me short?
00:11:07Well, the house looks done.
00:11:09Tomorrow's a big day.
00:11:11We finally turn 18 and finally lose our virginity.
00:11:16Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:11:20So, okay, we know who Cheryl's gonna do it with.
00:11:23Jake.
00:11:24And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:11:26But Sue, who are you gonna pick to pop your chair?
00:11:29It's easy.
00:11:30I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:11:36What the fuck is catechism?
00:11:38I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:11:40Yeah.
00:11:50My soulmate.
00:11:53Chris?
00:11:55Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:11:59I mean...
00:12:00What?
00:12:01No.
00:12:02Chris is perfect.
00:12:03He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:12:06Plus, his name's Chris.
00:12:07It's a sign.
00:12:08Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:12:14What?
00:12:15He does not.
00:12:16Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:12:18He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:12:21With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:12:25Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:12:27Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:12:28Okay, well.
00:12:29Sweet dreams.
00:12:30See you in the morning.
00:12:31I knew it would happen someday.
00:12:32I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:12:33I knew it would happen someday.
00:12:34I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:12:47I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:13:17You're so perfect.
00:13:47I knew that's what I look like.
00:14:18Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:14:36Tomorrow's the day.
00:14:47Oh my gosh.
00:15:02They're coming.
00:15:03Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:15:09Ew, why?
00:15:11It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:15:13It's gonna be really sexy.
00:15:14I'm gonna surprise you.
00:15:16You're gonna die of asphyxiation.
00:15:18He's gonna be really sexy.
00:15:20It's stupid.
00:15:21Just screw him.
00:15:22That's what he wants.
00:15:23That's what all guys want.
00:15:24Who hurt you as a child?
00:15:26Oh, Christ.
00:15:27And I have your mouth, too.
00:15:29Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:15:33not someone they can just have sex with.
00:15:35You're an idiot.
00:15:36A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:15:42Guys, seriously, come on.
00:15:43Hurry up.
00:15:44Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:15:45I love it.
00:15:46Um...
00:15:47You should put that down, though, because it's like...
00:15:48It's very fragile.
00:15:49Yeah.
00:15:50Okay.
00:15:51Set it down.
00:15:52Hurry up.
00:15:53Okay.
00:15:54Those are your anal beads, right?
00:15:55Yeah.
00:15:56Okay, let's go.
00:15:57Let's go.
00:15:58Let's go.
00:15:59Let's go.
00:16:00Okay.
00:16:01Set it down.
00:16:02Hurry up.
00:16:03Okay.
00:16:04Those are your anal beads, right?
00:16:05Yeah.
00:16:06Okay, let's go.
00:16:07Okay, let's go.
00:16:08Mm-hmm.
00:16:28Whoa!
00:16:29Oh, Jesus.
00:16:30Whoa!
00:16:31Hold up.
00:16:32Oh, we're gonna have some fun.
00:16:34Oh, a tack of the wet t-shirt.
00:16:36It's nice.
00:16:37Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:16:38Let's go.
00:16:39Come on.
00:16:40Come on.
00:16:41Come on.
00:16:42Come on.
00:16:43Come on.
00:16:44Check, check, check, check, check, check.
00:16:48Happy birthday, Lex.
00:16:50Oh, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:16:53Yes.
00:16:54That is lip poison to plump your lips, but be careful it stings.
00:16:59And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:17:02Oh, how did you know?
00:17:04I'm gonna use both of these tonight.
00:17:12Foster, such a beauty.
00:17:15Please don't touch my service time.
00:17:17All right, sorry.
00:17:19Are you okay now?
00:17:20Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:22See you later.
00:17:26I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:17:27This is crazy.
00:17:28Oh, my God.
00:17:29Jake!
00:17:30Hi!
00:17:31Hey, Ben.
00:17:33Happy birthday.
00:17:36Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:17:39What?
00:17:40You want a beer?
00:17:44No.
00:17:49Oh, hon.
00:17:50Yeah.
00:17:54I have your present here.
00:17:55I'll give it to you later.
00:17:57The time's right.
00:17:59He didn't have to give me anything.
00:18:02And I have a present for you that I want you to unwrap later.
00:18:08Hey, bro.
00:18:10We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:18:12We'll bet.
00:18:13All right, this is my man right here.
00:18:14Hey.
00:18:15Hey.
00:18:16How you doing?
00:18:17Hey.
00:18:18Hey.
00:18:19Hey.
00:18:20Hey.
00:18:21How you doing?
00:18:22Hey.
00:18:23Hey.
00:18:30Hey.
00:18:32Hey.
00:18:33Check it out.
00:18:35Dare me?
00:18:36Can you see me?
00:18:54Oh, dude, look at those.
00:18:55Are those real?
00:18:57Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:18:58Hey, I do, move!
00:19:00I'm lame.
00:19:01Oh, all right, okay.
00:19:03I'll see you guys later.
00:19:04Go do some push-ups or something.
00:19:06Aw, the booze.
00:19:0620 bucks says, by the end of the day,
00:19:09I will be motorboating those titties.
00:19:11Yeah!
00:19:13They're fake anyways.
00:19:15Who cares?
00:19:16Okay.
00:19:21Oh, dude, dude.
00:19:22I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:19:28Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:19:29Here, let me.
00:19:30Joanna, no, just go enjoy the party.
00:19:33It's not.
00:19:36I'm in.
00:19:39Hey, do my lips look any plumper?
00:19:41I put this stuff on, but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:19:46Have you guys seen Jake?
00:19:47I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:19:48It just, like, disappeared.
00:19:50I don't know.
00:20:03Are these real?
00:20:03Of course they are.
00:20:04Ha ha ha.
00:20:04How come I could have met you before?
00:20:07I don't know.
00:20:08Maybe he's gonna be around.
00:20:09All right, have you seen Jake?
00:20:11be around. I think he's around or something. Maybe upstairs. Maybe you want to go get my
00:20:21birthday present. That's probably where he went. Liquid Courage? Yeah. Atta girl. Vodka
00:20:36cranberry? It's really simple. Well, I guess it's now or never. I gotta go meet around. Sue? Are you okay? Sue? Relax. They're just lies. Okay. Nothing to be scared of. Seriously. Gonna be fine. Is Chris here? Wow. It's even worse in person, isn't it? No. He just
00:21:06does not have gay face. I'm gonna prove it to you. I'm gonna do it. Wow. It's even worse in person, isn't it? No. He does not have gay face. I'm gonna prove it to you. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do this. Good luck.
00:21:28Hey. You can do this. Just act like a slut. Just pretend you're Lex.
00:21:40Yeah. My favorite chapter is Psalm McGuire. Chris. Hi. Can I talk to you? Huh? In private? Oh.
00:22:00Hey, Lexi. Hey, Lexi. What? Chris. You're so sexy. Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just... I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:22:28And I really want to... Oh! What are you doing? Is that wrong? Sue! What's gotten into you?
00:22:38Nothing. I'm sorry. I don't know how to do this. Sue. Sue. Sue. Sue. I understand these urges. And, you know, I like you too.
00:22:55Really? You do? I do. I really do. I like you too. Really? You do? I do. I really do. It's just...
00:23:08I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man. Right. Lexi said you were...
00:23:17Jesus. Oh. That man. Of course. What did you think? Oh, nothing. So we can still do this then?
00:23:28Oh, Sue. You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins,
00:23:39when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless, yet so muscular, with his strong thighs
00:23:52crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot,
00:24:03I'm so sweaty under that hot, hot sun. I just feel such...compassion.
00:24:12I think about those things, too. So you understand why I can't do this?
00:24:19Not really. I just find it too hard. It is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:24:31So...
00:24:33So...
00:24:35I'm going to go out there, right? Andy, we're going to totally throw these on.
00:24:47Hey, Ty. Whoa!
00:24:49Have you seen Jake?
00:24:51Uh, no. No.
00:24:54All right.
00:24:57Okay. All right, focus. Focus, focus.
00:25:00Oh, there he is.
00:25:07Oh, there he is.
00:25:11Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:25:14How could you?
00:25:33Sue, what happened? Did you guys do it?
00:25:35Sue!
00:25:37He doesn't want me.
00:25:39Because he's gay.
00:25:41No, he's not. He just really loves Jesus.
00:25:44Oh, come on, Sue.
00:25:46The only reason we even liked him
00:25:48is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:25:51Look, the only way you're gonna find out
00:25:55what kind of man you really want
00:25:57is to know what kind of woman you really are.
00:26:00Deep inside.
00:26:02What?
00:26:03Come with me.
00:26:05We're to meet your dark side.
00:26:14Out!
00:26:16Everyone out!
00:26:27Sue, it's time for you and your vagina
00:26:30to meet face to face.
00:26:33I really can't.
00:26:46I really don't think I can do this.
00:26:48I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:54I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:26:57Sue?
00:26:58Can you see it?
00:27:00Sue?
00:27:01Sue?
00:27:02Can you see it?
00:27:04Sue?
00:27:08I'm almost...
00:27:10I'm almost there.
00:27:15Oh!
00:27:17What?
00:27:18Sue?
00:27:19What?
00:27:20Sue?
00:27:21What happened?
00:27:22What did you see?
00:27:23A raccoon?
00:27:24What?
00:27:26You overshot it.
00:27:27Aim the mirror further up.
00:27:36I can't.
00:27:37Please don't make me do that again.
00:27:38Okay.
00:27:39Fine.
00:27:40Fine.
00:27:41I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:27:44What?
00:27:45You really need an orgasm.
00:27:48Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:27:54This really has to be your first step.
00:27:56Les.
00:27:57I'm ready.
00:27:58Coming.
00:27:59Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:28:02Just find it and use it.
00:28:05Wait.
00:28:06What does a black vibrator look like?
00:28:07It's black.
00:28:08It vibrates.
00:28:12Come on, Rod.
00:28:13Let's go to Sue's room.
00:28:16And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:28:26Bye.
00:28:27Bye.
00:28:29Bye.
00:28:30Bye-bye.
00:28:31Bye-bye.
00:28:32Hey cutie!
00:28:33Cutie!
00:28:37Ah!
00:28:38Boozeye!
00:28:40Oh yeah!
00:28:41Oh yeah!
00:28:43Bang!
00:28:44Bang!
00:28:45Bang!
00:28:46Bang!
00:28:47Bang!
00:28:48Good boy!
00:28:49Straighten up.
00:28:51Good boy.
00:28:52Good boy.
00:28:53Good boy.
00:28:54Oh, boy. He knows over a hundred commands.
00:29:00I'm sorry, I can't see anything.
00:29:02That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:29:04What a bitch.
00:29:06Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:29:09Ah!
00:29:24Oh, shit.
00:29:44What's wrong with this thing?
00:29:54Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:30:09Lexi, it's Jake.
00:30:12He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:30:15For sure?
00:30:17I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe it's my fault.
00:30:21That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag.
00:30:24How dare he?
00:30:25No, it's awful.
00:30:27I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:30:35It's a text. It's from him.
00:30:38I can't bear myself to read it.
00:30:39Okay.
00:30:41He's looking for you.
00:30:42He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:30:45Oh, I can't face him.
00:30:47I have to go. I'm going.
00:30:48No, you can't just leave.
00:30:51Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened.
00:30:54I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:30:56No.
00:30:57He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:31:00Either way, it's bullshit.
00:31:02I see only one option.
00:31:05I'm leaving.
00:31:06Revenge sex.
00:31:08Re... I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:31:10It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:31:14But he... I mean, he doesn't even care.
00:31:29He doesn't even care about me.
00:31:30I mean, why would...
00:31:31He's just into other girls.
00:31:33Trust me, he'll care.
00:31:35Seriously, this is the worst thing you could do to him.
00:31:38To his ego?
00:31:39To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him?
00:31:44Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:31:50No, I couldn't.
00:31:52Plus, I mean, there's...
00:31:53There's no one smarter and better looking.
00:31:56Eric!
00:31:57He's perfect!
00:31:58Eric Hall? Are you kidding?
00:32:01I mean, he wouldn't even be into me.
00:32:03He likes your type.
00:32:05Really?
00:32:05And what type is that?
00:32:07He's bloody.
00:32:07Yeah.
00:32:10Trust me, he's amazing.
00:32:12I fooled around with him once.
00:32:13He has this great tongue ring.
00:32:15Oh, no.
00:32:16I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:32:19Okay, then.
00:32:20Fine.
00:32:21We will find someone else.
00:32:23Someone that I haven't...
00:32:25Fooled around with.
00:32:29Okay, what does it matter?
00:32:31That I fooled around with him?
00:32:32I mean, that's...
00:32:33You're not gonna marry the guy.
00:32:35No, I just couldn't do it.
00:32:37Fine.
00:32:38If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:32:42to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:32:49and you chose not to do it, go ahead.
00:32:52But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:32:55I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:33:04I don't know.
00:33:06Trust me.
00:33:07It's going to work.
00:33:08Okay.
00:33:08I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:33:18Hi, Cheryl.
00:33:19Are you okay enough to chat with her?
00:33:21Oh, no!
00:33:22Hey.
00:33:35Happy birthday.
00:33:40Thanks.
00:33:40Have you guys seen Jake?
00:34:05So, happy birthday.
00:34:15Uh, do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:34:21But it's actually from us.
00:34:22U.S.
00:34:24America?
00:34:26United States?
00:34:28I know where we live.
00:34:29Right.
00:34:31Of course.
00:34:35I know where we live.
00:34:37Right.
00:34:38Of course.
00:34:43Hey, Jesus, Erica, are you going to make your move or not?
00:34:47Oh, you want me to move?
00:34:48Yeah, no, I can totally move.
00:34:49I just...
00:34:50No, you're fine.
00:34:51Okay.
00:34:59Jake!
00:35:05So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:35:10Oh.
00:35:12I'm sorry.
00:35:13It?
00:35:13What, um...
00:35:15It.
00:35:15Like, monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket get real nasty.
00:35:22Oh!
00:35:23Oh, you mean, like, uh, right now?
00:35:28I mean, well, yeah.
00:35:30You know, the sooner the better.
00:35:34Yeah, sure.
00:35:35I mean, yeah, of course.
00:35:36Um, I just never realized that you...
00:35:38I mean...
00:35:42Whew.
00:35:43Uh...
00:35:44It's just...
00:35:47You're so...
00:35:49You're so beautiful.
00:35:52Okay, um...
00:35:53Hmm?
00:35:54Uh, no cuisine.
00:35:56Right, um...
00:35:58Of course.
00:36:00Sorry.
00:36:03So, um...
00:36:04Do you want to unwrap me?
00:36:09Oh, wow.
00:36:10Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket.
00:36:12Or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:36:15Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:16Yeah, uh, you're fresh.
00:36:21Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:36:24Yeah, uh, you're fresh.
00:36:26Organic.
00:36:28Yep.
00:36:31So, the wrap.
00:36:32Right.
00:36:34Um...
00:36:34Well, where's the, uh...
00:36:37It's, uh, the end is...
00:36:39It's just, like, right over here.
00:36:39Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:36:40Yeah.
00:36:41It's where I see it.
00:36:42Um, let me just, uh...
00:36:43Ow, ow, ow.
00:36:47Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:36:48I, um...
00:36:49It's, it's okay.
00:36:51Do it again.
00:36:53Sorry, I, uh...
00:36:55I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:36:57You know what?
00:36:57Let me just lay on the bed.
00:37:01Okay.
00:37:06Uh...
00:37:07Let me just see.
00:37:09Oh, here it is.
00:37:11I got it.
00:37:12All right.
00:37:13Just, um, pull it.
00:37:14Let me just...
00:37:16Oh, jeez.
00:37:20Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:37:21You okay?
00:37:23Uh...
00:37:24Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:37:30Oh, jeez.
00:37:31Oh, jeez.
00:37:31Well, that was stupid.
00:37:42Yeah.
00:37:48How are you doing tonight?
00:37:49I'm good.
00:37:50You having a good time?
00:37:51Yeah?
00:37:52You good?
00:37:52Jake!
00:37:53I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:37:56What?
00:37:57I can't hear you.
00:37:59I don't have a beer.
00:38:02Chips are so damn salty.
00:38:03Jake!
00:38:04Sorry, we're...
00:38:05Upstairs.
00:38:06Yeah.
00:38:07Hold on.
00:38:08Take a piss.
00:38:10How much beer?
00:38:11Oh.
00:38:12Oh.
00:38:13Oh.
00:38:14Oh.
00:38:15Oh.
00:38:16Oh.
00:38:17Oh.
00:38:18Oh.
00:38:19Oh.
00:38:20Oh.
00:38:21Oh.
00:38:22Oh.
00:38:23Oh.
00:38:24Oh.
00:38:25Oh.
00:38:26Oh.
00:38:27Oh.
00:38:28Oh.
00:38:30Oh.
00:38:31Oh.
00:38:33Oh.
00:38:33Oh.
00:38:33Oh.
00:38:35Yeah.
00:38:37Oh.
00:38:42Finally.
00:38:43Hey, uh.
00:38:45Why'd you just get the blinds?
00:38:47Oh, no, no, no.
00:38:47No, no, no.
00:38:48Um...
00:38:49Don't worry about it.
00:38:51What?
00:38:52I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:38:55Oh. Well, okay.
00:39:00Okay.
00:39:15Finally. I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:39:20Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, don't worry about it.
00:39:24What?
00:39:25I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:39:30Uh-oh. Well, okay.
00:39:33Okay.
00:39:54I've been able to see each other.
00:39:59I've been able to see each other like this.
00:40:02I've been able to see each other.
00:40:04And I've been able to see each other.
00:40:07what are you doing uh i think it's time you know to do it um not yet more foreplay huh
00:40:36so good oh yep oh my god draw draw draw draw what what what ah ah oh
00:40:59lock jaw lock jaw is that even a thing i don't know
00:41:07are you okay
00:41:11no no no it's uh it's fine i'm just a embarrassed i it's probably tmj or fracture or swollen
00:41:24you sure you're okay yeah yeah okay great have fun
00:41:29oh
00:41:35now now let's do it now no not yet not yet
00:41:42all right i'm gonna come i'm gonna come
00:41:43to come
00:41:52Oh, no, no, no, not yet, Lexi, Lexi, oh, oh, no means no, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry,
00:42:05I'm sorry, it's been a really long time, and I just, I haven't been masturbating for anything.
00:42:13Uh-oh. Oh, hey, Jake. How you doing?
00:42:20How's it going? Good. Eric? Eric, help me, I'm glad I can't see anything. Excuse me.
00:42:34Cheryl's in here.
00:42:40What's up, brother? What the fuck is that?
00:42:45Hey, wait.
00:42:46Lexi?
00:42:48Lexi, babe, still waiting.
00:42:57Oh, I'm sorry, I can't see, I'm blind.
00:43:02Damn it. I'm gonna save somebody to that bitch.
00:43:06Hey, you.
00:43:07You better stop making fun of the blind, or I'm gonna teach you a lesson.
00:43:12Help!
00:43:14I'm so sorry! I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:43:19Hey!
00:43:21Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, watch a game go down.
00:43:27Wow!
00:43:28reached out to his corner,
00:43:31Hey.
00:43:34Voila?
00:43:34What's she supporting?
00:43:35Look at my videos here,
00:43:44Oh, man, no more water balloons.
00:43:47Sparty's ass.
00:43:52Yeah!
00:43:56This just isn't working.
00:44:00Nothing.
00:44:01What's the big deal about these vibrators, anyway?
00:44:06I'm careful, man. A lot of sticks.
00:44:09Spark it up! Yes!
00:44:14Oh, man! I love this game!
00:44:17Where are the controllers? We gotta play.
00:44:19Uh, here, here, here, here.
00:44:20Okay, let me find another one.
00:44:25Woo!
00:44:27Look at this!
00:44:29Oh, my God!
00:44:31Fuel, fuel, fuel!
00:44:33Get that thing away, Jesus!
00:44:39Aww.
00:44:40Hey, dude, nice shot!
00:44:45Wasn't me!
00:44:51Whoa! Whoa! Nice!
00:44:54Are you sitting in there or something?
00:44:58Hey, you found the grenade launcher! Nice! Thanks!
00:45:10Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:14Do you have the extra controller?
00:45:27Whoa!
00:45:29You are the controller!
00:45:31No! I just...
00:45:33I didn't...
00:45:35I swear...
00:45:36I...
00:45:38I...
00:45:40No!
00:45:46All right.
00:45:48Hey! Hey, Sue!
00:45:50Where are you going, man?
00:45:54It's okay. Um...
00:45:55Hey, Sue!
00:46:01Didn't you hear me calling you?
00:46:02Yeah!
00:46:03I just needed to...
00:46:04Um...
00:46:05Oh!
00:46:06Sure!
00:46:07Listen, Sue, I...
00:46:08I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:46:09You were?
00:46:10You mean...
00:46:12Y-yeah.
00:46:14So you think we should give it a try?
00:46:16Could we go get a drink?
00:46:18Wow!
00:46:20Um...
00:46:21Your toilet's really...
00:46:23Oh, you should...
00:46:25You should...
00:46:26You know what?
00:46:27I gotta go!
00:46:28Um...
00:46:29I gotta go!
00:46:31Um...
00:46:32Um...
00:46:33Um...
00:46:34Wow!
00:46:35Um...
00:46:36Your toilet's really...
00:46:38Oh, you should...
00:46:39You know what?
00:46:40I gotta go!
00:46:41Um...
00:46:42Um...
00:46:43Happy Birthday!
00:46:44Uh...
00:46:45No!
00:46:46Chris!
00:46:47No, there wasn't!
00:46:48I didn't...
00:46:49Oh, God!
00:46:50Nevermind!
00:47:04This was the worst idea ever!
00:47:06Never going to have sex!
00:47:08Ow!
00:47:10Hello?
00:47:11A little attention here?
00:47:12Oh, yeah.
00:47:13Sorry.
00:47:14Lex...
00:47:15Don't be selfish.
00:47:16Oh, yeah.
00:47:17Sorry.
00:47:18Lex...
00:47:19Don't be selfish.
00:47:20Oh, right.
00:47:21Sorry.
00:47:22Sorry.
00:47:23All right.
00:47:24Sorry.
00:47:25I'm sorry.
00:47:26You want to be selfish.
00:47:27I'm sorry.
00:47:28You want to be selfish.
00:47:29Hello?
00:47:30A little attention here?
00:47:31Oh, yeah.
00:47:32Sorry.
00:47:33Lex, don't be selfish.
00:47:34Oh, right.
00:47:35Sorry.
00:47:36Sorry.
00:47:39I don't want to be selfish, though.
00:47:40Hmm...
00:47:41Lex!
00:47:42Don't be selfish.
00:47:43Oh, right.
00:47:44Sorry.
00:47:45All right.
00:47:46Sorry.
00:47:47Oh, jeez.
00:48:01Who invented this stupid position, anyway?
00:48:04Too much fucking multitasking.
00:48:08Screw it.
00:48:17Oh, jeez.
00:48:47Oh, oh, oh, no, that was, that was bad, that was so bad.
00:49:11Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:49:14I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:49:22Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:49:26Yes, it does.
00:49:28So, you're JJ?
00:49:30Uh-oh.
00:49:44Hello. Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS. Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:50:01A nun.
00:50:02Please punch in your credit card number.
00:50:10Please hold.
00:50:11Oh, thank goodness.
00:50:161-900-CONFESSION. How may I be of service?
00:50:19It's been one day since my last confession.
00:50:22I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:50:24One day.
00:50:33Is that too long?
00:50:34I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:50:37Go on.
00:50:39Um, okay, well, I've been touching myself inappropriately.
00:50:43Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:50:46What's her problem?
00:50:48A washing machine touched her.
00:50:52Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:50:56All right, freak, time's up.
00:50:57What? But what do I do?
00:50:59Just unplug the thing.
00:51:01No, but, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:51:04Orgasm.
00:51:05Well, then be happy.
00:51:07You found the perfect man.
00:51:09I'm serious!
00:51:10Look, honey, you seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:51:14I'll tell you this.
00:51:16Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:51:19No contritions?
00:51:21You broke no covenant with God.
00:51:23It's not in the Bible.
00:51:26So the washing machine could touch me anytime?
00:51:29Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:51:32Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:51:36Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:51:39Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:51:42Huh.
00:51:43God's pretty cool that way.
00:51:45He sure is.
00:51:46Now run along.
00:51:51Wow.
00:51:53How do you know all that?
00:51:55Because I'm a nun.
00:51:56Now eat my pussy, bitch!
00:51:59Huh.
00:52:00Accidental masturbation.
00:52:02Who'da think?
00:52:12Revenge sex.
00:52:13What a stupid fucking idiot.
00:52:16God, I'm getting out of here.
00:52:20Yeah, admit it.
00:52:22I've got no game.
00:52:23I've got no game.
00:52:24I've got no game.
00:52:25I've got no game.
00:52:26I've got no game.
00:52:31Fucking douchebag.
00:52:33Damn it.
00:52:35Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:52:38You go, girl.
00:52:40What?
00:52:42What are you doing here?
00:52:45We needed some place private.
00:52:47But hey, listen.
00:52:48If you're serious about getting laid.
00:52:50Yeah.
00:52:51If you want someone great.
00:52:53I mean, really, the best ever.
00:52:57No offense.
00:52:59Frank.
00:53:00The blind guy?
00:53:02Really?
00:53:03I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:53:07I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:53:09It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:53:12It was like we used all our senses.
00:53:15Everything.
00:53:19If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:53:22All right.
00:53:23What about him?
00:53:31Jeremy.
00:53:33Yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:53:35Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:53:37I didn't know his last name, though.
00:53:41It's Jones.
00:53:43Jeremy Jones.
00:53:45This all makes sense.
00:53:46Excuse me.
00:53:48Jeremy.
00:53:50Hi.
00:53:51Who's on the phone?
00:53:53Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:53:55You'll meet her.
00:53:56She'll be here in like an hour.
00:53:58Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:54:14Oh.
00:54:16Hey, Frank.
00:54:17Sit.
00:54:22Oh, you meant...
00:54:24You meant the dog.
00:54:27Relax.
00:54:29You need to relax and calm down.
00:54:42Oh, I'm... I'm relaxed. I'm fine.
00:54:45Why are you biting your nail?
00:54:47I'm not.
00:54:51How did you know that?
00:54:55Corner.
00:54:59Sit.
00:55:02Roll over.
00:55:06Oh, you mean me.
00:55:10Roll over.
00:55:11What?
00:55:15Oh, how do you...
00:55:17How do you want me to...
00:55:19Just lay down.
00:55:20Oh...
00:55:21Oh.
00:55:22I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:55:23Oh, I shouldn't even be doing this, but considering it a teachable moment.
00:55:39Okay.
00:55:43Oh.
00:55:46See me with your hands.
00:55:52All right.
00:55:53Uh, you know, I should really, I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this.
00:56:05Really.
00:56:19Mmm, peanut butter.
00:56:21All right, Frank.
00:56:38Oh.
00:56:41Oh, Frank.
00:56:43No, man.
00:56:45Oh, give me two.
00:57:01Oh, man.
00:57:02Dude, give me two.
00:57:03My chips, old boy.
00:57:04Dude, give me two, man.
00:57:05My chips.
00:57:06Dude, my chips.
00:57:07Dude, give me two.
00:57:08My chips.
00:57:09Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:57:10Dude, it's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:57:11That's all.
00:57:12It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:57:13That's all.
00:57:14That's all.
00:57:15Oh, let me do this.
00:57:16That's all.
00:57:17So, my chip?
00:57:18Give me a chip.
00:57:20My chips?
00:57:23Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:57:26Sorry.
00:57:35It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:57:38That's all.
00:57:43No, let me do this.
00:57:44Go away.
00:57:45I got it.
00:57:46I got it.
00:57:46No, no, really.
00:57:47Please, I want to help.
00:57:52Okay, everybody out.
00:57:54Leave.
00:57:55I have to back.
00:58:10You're not even getting the chips.
00:58:12They're over here.
00:58:14I see some dust over here.
00:58:15So, there's just so much dust on this floor.
00:58:24It's a dirty floor.
00:58:26It's such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:58:31I think I got all that.
00:58:31I think I got all that.
00:58:44I think I got all that.
00:58:45I think I got all that.
00:58:59I'm just gonna...
00:59:00I'll see how...
00:59:01Frankie oh my oh what
00:59:14stop Frank stop teasing Frank
00:59:24oh sorry man we're just looking for a
00:59:28place to finish this road I heard
00:59:31something you want to join us
00:59:45Frank Frank are we gonna do something
00:59:49soon bro you are too buddy thanks man
00:59:57oh this is some good stuff I haven't
01:00:00smoked since junior high dude I didn't
01:00:02stop smoking since junior high you look
01:00:06I was supposed to be doing some damn I
01:00:11really can't remember
01:00:19JJ Jeremy you have to remember that
01:00:45amazing time we had together don't you
01:00:46please Lex I can't I mean I got a
01:00:53girlfriend I really like this girl
01:00:55fine it's just so sad because I'm wearing
01:00:59this coupless bra and I also have on
01:01:03crotchless panties with just a little
01:01:07string of pearl in front for extra
01:01:10stimulation oh we've got like 30 minutes
01:01:18before she gets here perfect
01:01:22what what's wrong I can't I can't get it in
01:01:51just try down there it's like desert down
01:01:55there it's sandpaper
01:01:57okay I get the picture just try it again
01:02:01no why is this happening we fooled around
01:02:07before I was dripping wet I came like four
01:02:10times remember just do what you did then
01:02:13go on I already did my thing I already
01:02:16tried what was different this time I don't
01:02:22know last time honestly don't even know
01:02:28what you're talking about what you're
01:02:32not JJ but your name is Jeremy Jones how
01:02:36can you not be JJ who the hell is this JJ
01:02:41where are you going we're not done here
01:02:44I can still do this I just need a little
01:02:47bit of fun I can do this I don't need JJ
01:02:50I don't need anyone else we can do this
01:02:53go team
01:02:56what just keep going
01:03:02Jeremy
01:03:06shit
01:03:09where's Jeremy
01:03:19Jeremy, we were just, you know, from here.
01:03:25Hey babe, just working out.
01:03:31How could you, you bastard?
01:03:37You might wanna...
01:03:38What?
01:03:40What?
01:03:45Mariela!
01:03:47Mariela!
01:03:49You know, those aren't mine!
01:03:51At least not all of them.
01:03:54What is wrong with you?
01:04:00What is wrong with you?
01:04:03Used to be so pure.
01:04:05Well, no more. That's it.
01:04:08Really, that's the last one.
01:04:17Alright, we'll see you.
01:04:19I'm so happy about you.
01:04:21Oh, wow.
01:04:23Oh, my God.
01:04:26Oh!
01:04:27Oh, my God.
01:04:29Oh, my God.
01:04:31Oh, my God.
01:04:33Oh, my God.
01:04:35Oh, my God.
01:04:37Oh, my God.
01:04:39Oh, my God.
01:04:41Oh, my God.
01:04:42Cheryl!
01:04:47What is it?
01:04:49What are you doing down here?
01:04:51Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out and get far, far away from here.
01:04:56What?
01:04:57Why?
01:04:58Nothing, just this lying guy and his dog and...
01:05:02Honey, it's gonna be okay.
01:05:05No, it's not okay.
01:05:08God.
01:05:09And you know whose fault it is?
01:05:11I'm sorry.
01:05:12It's Jake's. Jake's fault.
01:05:15That lying, cheating bastard.
01:05:17Yes.
01:05:18He is such a dickwad. You need to confront him.
01:05:22Yeah.
01:05:23Yeah, I need to confront him.
01:05:25I mean, it's my birthday and where is he anyway?
01:05:28Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
01:05:30You know, you just call him here and give him a big piece of your mind.
01:05:33Yeah, a big piece. A big old chunk of my mind. A big piece of it.
01:05:38Yeah.
01:05:40You know, you might wanna...
01:05:42It's...
01:05:43You need to look hot while you break up with him.
01:05:45Yeah, you're right.
01:05:47Why am I wearing a sheet?
01:05:49I know.
01:05:56I'm sorry.
01:05:57I get shy around beautiful women like you.
01:06:04I got no game.
01:06:13It's not important.
01:06:15Hey, um...
01:06:16Eric, I can't talk right now.
01:06:30No, no, no. I really need to talk to you.
01:06:32Really, Eric, I can't right now. Sorry.
01:06:35No, no, no. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier and I'm just embarrassed and I wanna make it up to you.
01:06:42Eric, really? I don't care. It's fine.
01:06:45No, but I do. I mean, I do. I care.
01:06:50I haven't known how to tell you. Maybe cause, I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:06:55But I was wondering or hoping that we could go out sometime. Soon.
01:07:04Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while and it would be nice to go out before I...
01:07:08Really? Eric, you're shy. You have no game.
01:07:12No, not really.
01:07:16Yeah, no, I can't do this. Sorry.
01:07:18Okay. All right. I, uh...
01:07:28Happy birthday, then.
01:07:29I'm sorry. I was trying to kiss you.
01:07:52Wow.
01:07:53Oh, fuck.
01:08:06Here I come, baby. Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:08:13Oh, Eric, stop. Um, we can't do this.
01:08:16Sorry.
01:08:17Oh, goddammit. Not again.
01:08:18Oh, no, um...
01:08:19You're a honey happy...
01:08:22What the fuck is this?
01:08:24Who the hell are you, dude?
01:08:25Okay, guys, don't.
01:08:31Cheryl.
01:08:32Baby.
01:08:33What is this?
01:08:35Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:08:37You're...
01:08:39I've been looking for you all night and you've been...
01:08:42Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:08:44You couldn't find me?
01:08:46Oh, what about all those girls' vaginas you were in
01:08:49or your penis getting sucked?
01:08:52Cheryl, honey.
01:08:53No, no.
01:08:54We can work this out.
01:08:55Baby, I love you.
01:08:57Jake, no. You have to go.
01:08:58Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:09:00No.
01:09:01I promise.
01:09:02No, Jake. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
01:09:05Cheryl, come on.
01:09:06No, Jake, please.
01:09:07Please, come on.
01:09:08Just go. I'm sorry.
01:09:09You're a harmless bitch!
01:09:11How can you do...
01:09:12Yay! You did it.
01:09:15I'm so proud of you.
01:09:16You got your revenge sex.
01:09:18You left him under your shell of a man.
01:09:20Revenge sex?
01:09:23It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:09:27Right.
01:09:29That all makes sense now.
01:09:32Wow. I feel really stupid.
01:09:35Eric, I'm really... I'm really sorry.
01:09:39Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:09:41And he used me.
01:09:44Eric, please don't go.
01:09:45Please, Eric!
01:09:48Aren't you happy?
01:09:51Well, no.
01:09:52That's not exactly how it's supposed to feel like.
01:09:55You mean the sex?
01:09:56Was it...
01:09:57Yeah?
01:09:58No, we didn't quite do it.
01:10:00Oh.
01:10:01You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:10:02Really?
01:10:03I just never found the right guy.
01:10:05Or guys.
01:10:06Anyway.
01:10:07We better get downstairs.
01:10:08People are starting to leave.
01:10:09I wonder how Sue did.
01:10:12I wonder how Sue did.
01:10:21Oh, what?
01:10:22Yes, yes, yes.
01:10:25I can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:10:27This is bullshit!
01:10:29God!
01:10:30Oh!
01:10:31Oh!
01:10:32Dude, suck it!
01:10:33What the...
01:10:35Come out of here!
01:10:38Yeah!
01:10:39He has good hair, though.
01:10:44Don't you puke on me.
01:10:46And don't puke in my car, either.
01:10:48Oh, Sue, are you all right?
01:11:06Was it from sex?
01:11:07Did you pop your cork?
01:11:08I don't think so.
01:11:09Not with the guy, anyway.
01:11:11Oh, don't ask.
01:11:13Every possible object.
01:11:15It's like every mechanical thing.
01:11:18It was like...
01:11:19Transformers.
01:11:20They just all became vibrators.
01:11:23I told you.
01:11:24It's addicting.
01:11:28So what about Chris?
01:11:29Well, last time I saw him,
01:11:30he was running away for dear life.
01:11:32I told you he was gay.
01:11:33Oh, okay.
01:11:34Well, I think I'm just...
01:11:36Oh, cramp.
01:11:40I think it's broken.
01:11:42So wait.
01:11:43None of us cashed an RV card.
01:11:51Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:11:54So let's go grab some food.
01:11:56Wanna go?
01:11:57No.
01:11:59I think I should finish up here.
01:12:01Did you ever find that guy
01:12:02you were looking for?
01:12:04No.
01:12:06I don't know.
01:12:07For some reason, I just realized
01:12:09he needs to be my first.
01:12:11Or something.
01:12:13Why, do you know him?
01:12:15Sort of.
01:12:16Oh.
01:12:17Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:12:18just tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:12:28Love him?
01:12:29Shut it.
01:12:30You wanna do it?
01:12:31I don't wanna hear it from you.
01:12:32You wanna get married?
01:12:33Have heard, have heard, ever heard, ever heard.
01:12:34Help him.
01:12:35Stop.
01:12:37You wanna get married?
01:12:40You wanna learn assigned to her?
01:12:43That's the way she is.
01:12:45You wanna be showcased?
01:12:46Um, no, no way.
01:13:06Oh, well, there's always next year.
01:13:36It's you.
01:13:49I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:13:54J.J.
01:14:10J.J.
01:14:14J.J.
01:14:30J.J.
01:14:34J.J.
01:14:38J.J.
01:14:42J.J.
01:15:02J.J.
01:15:04J.J.
01:15:06J.J.
01:15:07J.J.
01:15:08J.J.
01:15:09J.J.
01:15:10J.J.
01:15:11J.J.
01:15:12J.J.
01:15:13J.J.
01:15:14J.J.
01:15:15J.J.
01:15:16J.J.
01:15:17J.J.
01:15:18J.J.
01:15:19J.J.
01:15:20J.J.
01:15:21J.J.
01:15:22J.J.
01:15:23J.J.
01:15:24J.J.
01:15:25J.J.
01:15:26J.J.
01:15:27J.J.
01:15:28J.J.
01:15:29J.J.
01:15:30J.J.
01:15:31J.J.
01:15:32J.J.
01:15:33J.J.
01:15:34J.J.
01:15:35J.J.
01:15:36J.J.
01:15:37J.J.
01:15:38Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:15:551-900 confess.
01:15:57Sister Terese?
01:16:00Yeah, hon.
01:16:02There was a problem with your credit card.
01:16:04I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:16:07Oh, sure.
01:16:09It's 271.
01:16:11Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession,
01:16:14but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:16:17Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:16:22Take you back?
01:16:24Sure, hon. Why not?
01:16:26As long as you're on the right path.
01:16:29Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:16:32I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:16:36Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:16:40Sister, can I get up now?
01:16:44I really gotta pee.
01:16:46No! Hust your trap!
01:16:48Okay, honey, I really need to get back to work,
01:16:52but call back any time.
01:16:54I will.
01:16:56Thanks.
01:16:57Sister?
01:16:58Shut up, or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:17:02Eric, wait.
01:17:04Cheryl?
01:17:08Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:17:14I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:16At the beginning, but then at the end, I wasn't.
01:17:18I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:20I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:22I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:24At the beginning, but then at the end, I wasn't.
01:17:26I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:28The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:17:32Um, I... I do want to go out with you.
01:17:36And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:17:39I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:17:41and he's all over these pink-ca...
01:17:43Eric!
01:17:45Come on, I gotta get going.
01:17:46And I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:48I was trying to have revenge sex with you.
01:17:49At the beginning, but then at the end, I wasn't.
01:17:51I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:53I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:17:54The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:17:57Um...
01:17:58I... I do want to go out with you.
01:18:01And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:18:04I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:18:05Where are you going?
01:18:07Oh, wow.
01:18:09Cheryl, this is my sister Tina.
01:18:12Tina, Cheryl.
01:18:14Hi, nice to meet you.
01:18:21So, do you mind if I call you in a few days?
01:18:25When I get back?
01:18:27Yeah, sure.
01:18:35Sorry, no kissing, right?
01:18:37No, kissing.
01:18:38Oh.
01:18:56Hey, did you ever get those flowers I sent you?
01:19:00I don't even care that you hooked up with Lexi.
01:19:05Wait, what?
01:19:06I never did that.
01:19:08I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:19:10She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:19:18She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:19:21I wonder who it was.
01:19:30At least this birthday is over.
01:19:44At least this birthday is over.
01:19:46I don't know.
01:19:58Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:20:02I mean, if you could just...
01:20:05I don't know, like send me a sign?
01:20:16I don't know.
01:20:40Excuse me?
01:20:41Excuse me?
01:20:42Uh, do you know where the church is?
01:20:43It's on Bountain Street.
01:20:45street? Um, yeah, that's the church I go to, or used to go to. Um, it's straight up that
01:20:52way and then left. Thank you. You're more than welcome to come with me if you like. Oh,
01:21:00um, I don't know.
01:21:01Well, that's pretty powerful. Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque. Like I said, you're
01:21:19more than welcome to hop on. I don't think so, but thanks. What's your name? Sue. What's
01:21:28yours? Jesus. Really? Si. Maybe I could use the ride.
01:21:38Hmm.
01:21:55Oh.
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