- 4 months ago
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Grace and peace to you from God, our Mother,
00:27Jesus, our sister, and the Holy Spirit, the energy, the life in us all. Amen.
00:45The church in America and the world, we still don't know what to do with lesbians,
00:52gays, bisexual, trans. We don't know what to do with queer folks.
00:57I would go to church, and every time it would be, oh, we want to pray the gay away.
01:06I think it's safe to say that everyone here has some voice that's been telling you that you are not enough,
01:12not worthy, not important, not beautiful, not good.
01:16First thing a guy asked us when we walked in was, don't bring the world into the church.
01:22And I paused and meanly said, huh? He said, yeah, don't bring all that in here.
01:26Folks have been hurt and rejected, and the church has failed a lot of people.
01:38It's homophobic, it's transphobic, it's a lot of hate than what's supposed to be preached in the Bible.
01:44This entire community of people has garbage that the world dumps on us in order to try and make us feel small.
01:52And God did not create us to feel small.
01:55This whole LGBT movement is anti-God, it's anti-Christian.
02:01The church hasn't always been doing a great job getting at that core of the gospel, that you are loved, as you are.
02:08Queer, not queer, whatever.
02:11That is why you are here today, because you reject God.
02:17I don't think that there is a safe space for queer people in our churches.
02:20I really don't think that's where we are.
02:21Love is love! Love is love! Love is love! Love is love! Love is love!
02:27We are trying to help you.
02:29We have come here for your salvation, not for your destruction.
02:34And all those messages, all those voices that you're hearing telling you that you are dirt,
02:39well, that's just complete bullshit.
02:40Amazing grace
02:44Queer Church is a pop-up community of faith by queer folks, for queer folks, and the ones who love us.
02:54If you identify anywhere in there, queer, not queer, someone who loves someone who's queer,
02:59someone who wants to learn more about the queer experience,
03:03Queer Church is open to you.
03:05I'm Drew. I'm transitioning from female to male, more male-presenting.
03:19My pronouns are they and he.
03:23I'm just queering church.
03:26Queer what?
03:27Because back in St. Louis, that's queer and church, those words don't mix.
03:30I see.
03:35I'm the intern pastor here at St. Paul's.
03:39Part of the internship is to create a project, and Queer Church is that project.
03:43All year I've been spending time with the community at St. Paul's and leading forums,
03:49educating folks on gender, on pronouns, on drag, cross-dressing, and the history of those.
03:58And it's very important for myself as a queer person, as a trans person, to have a space where
04:03it's made for us by us, where our friends could be able to come and let their hair down and hang out
04:09with each other and talk about God and any spiritual questions or topics that they want to talk about.
04:16And I completely understand the craving, the desire to be in a religious, spiritual community.
04:23There's just something different about being in a church that you can't get anywhere else.
04:28Everything we do here, pouring a bit of water into a shell and over the heads of infants and other humans,
04:43and daring to call that salvation and spirit-filling.
04:49Christ is alive, let Christians sing.
04:55The cross stands empty to the sky.
05:01Let streets and homes with praises ring.
05:08The crowning that shall never die.
05:16Lifting up a loaf of bread at the table bought at Ralph's, and a cup of wine from a bottle bought at the local liquor store,
05:25and calling it a grace-infused meal, gathering Sunday after Sunday because on this day we believe
05:33that a publicly executed brown-skinned Palestinian Jew who was lynched on a tree and who three days later was raised from the dead,
05:42that on this day, on this first day of the week, he got up from the grave and by his spirit empowers us to get up.
05:54Well, after 22 years of being together, I finally got a gorgeous queer stole from my husband, who was a fashion designer.
06:15So I can't wait to show this off. I got it just in time for pride this year.
06:23Yeah, it's got a gorgeous cross.
06:26He did a great job, and if you go this way, you get a little extra gold in it, a little extra shimmer.
06:39I'm James Boleyn, the pastor of St. Paul's. I'm in my 20th year now as pastor of St. Paul's.
06:46For me, ministry runs in the family. I'm a third-generation pastor. My pronouns are he, him, his.
06:53I'm comfortable with they, them, theirs, too, but he, him.
06:58It's been our joy at St. Paul's to be a place where we welcome LGBTQ interns, students who are preparing for pastoral ministry.
07:11So currently, we're on our eighth intern.
07:15It was clear to me when I met Drew that he was also anticipating his internship with a little bit of fear and trepidation.
07:29He was still transitioning and becoming comfortable with who he was as a trans person, and now he was going to be becoming a pastor as well.
07:40We met one another and said, we're going to spend this year together, and started wondering what it would be like.
07:47I think when Drew told me about Queer Church, I thought, okay, let's try an untraditional liturgy, something out of the ordinary. Great.
07:58He began to make more concrete plans. Then we began to hear what he had in mind. Some unusual participants and just doing everything with a bit of a queer angle.
08:19What I first ended up doing, I went on a dating app, and rather than saying, let's go on a date, I said, I'm looking for drag queens for this event.
08:32And a couple people swiped right, but then it didn't go anywhere. And then one person, it was Espy, she swiped right and we matched.
08:42And so we started talking about what I was thinking of, and she's like, yes, I'm on board. I want to do it.
08:49He asked me about Queer Church and if I was interested. So at first I was kind of hesitant because I grew up in the church and it wasn't the place that I was 100% comfortable with.
09:01And I talked to my mom, actually, and she told me she thinks it's a good idea. So that's what kind of pushed me forward to actually want to participate in it.
09:10So my birth name is Charles William Davis III, but my stage name is Espy Azalea Simone. I'm from Louisiana. I went to LSU. I have a degree in theater.
09:20My pronouns fluctuate quite a bit because I kind of just mingle my way through every gender. So I don't care if it's they, she, he, whatever you prefer.
09:32I grew up in a very religious family. And as I got older, I kind of started to separate from religion because of the things that had happened in the past.
09:44I came out in 2009 when I was 15. And at that time I was going to a church in Louisiana. And whenever they would do sermons about homosexuality, I would always be essentially the pinpoint because most people in the church were kind of turning side glance at me and I'm just sitting there like, yes, I'm gay. This is no secret. So that kind of pushed me away.
10:09The next corner of me is the corner of Miss Churdy.
10:14The corner of Miss Churdy is at whatever Miss Churdy is because I don't know.
10:19The queer church, actually, uh, the other performer, S.B. Azalea Simone, she got me involved with queer church and asked me if I wanted to do it. And I immediately, like, raised my eyebrow, like, so she said queer church. I said, girl, I don't know about that. I don't know. She was like, yeah, we're going to be performing. I said, okay, well, where are we performing? In a church.
10:40Oh, no. I said, I'll think about it, but that doesn't sound right.
10:45What the fuck do I need to put this bitch on? Power Ranger? This is fucking unacceptable. I did not sign it for this. When I prayed during the winter months, I asked the Lord to make it warm. I did not say, Lord, please bring the devil from hell and have him sit his ass crack on earth. That's not what I asked for. I cannot do this.
11:09And then after Drew called me and broke down how everything was supposed to go, I was like, okay, I'll give it a try.
11:18I'm Tyrell Bryant as a boy. As a drag performer, my name is Hershey LaCorgite. I guess you could say I'm gender nonconforming. So, you know, if I'm dressed up as a boy, you know, I'm going to feel cute as a boy. But if I'm dressed up in drag, I feel pretty in drag. And I had to tell myself, it took drag to bring out of me that it's okay to feel both.
11:39Growing up St. Louis, yeah, that's Bible Belt. So, yeah, I was in church every Sunday.
12:00I was in the choir and, you know, Bible study, all those good things. I did not like it. I liked it when I was younger in the choir and stuff. I enjoyed it. But it kind of started separating when I started doing the YouTube videos around 15.
12:25Hello? It came back positive. I'm pregnant.
12:31Oh, word? Congratulations.
12:33What you plan to do about this?
12:35About what?
12:36This is your baby.
12:38Say what? Don't act like you don't know.
12:42Don.
12:42You know who Tyler Perry is? I started watching his movies and stuff. So, I was like, oh, that's funny. So, I would make, I'd be in my basement all day making videos and, you know, coming up with little characters.
12:54I never slept with you.
12:55Oh, it was convenient for you to slide up in this tastiness. But when you slide out, you can't take care of what come out. My name is 9711. It ain't no quick trip posted to my door. So, you can't come in, get what you need paid, and then get up out of there.
13:08When I put it on YouTube, people from my church started seeing them.
13:12Didn't want anything, you shouldn't have put your thing in it. Didn't want anything, you shouldn't have put your thing in it. Now you're mad because you got me here pregnant.
13:20This was before I even knew I was homosexual. I was just making videos to have fun. And people were making me question what I like to do and who I was.
13:29And it would get to the point where I was sitting in church and I felt like everybody was just watching me, you know? Why is he here? What is he doing? I wonder if his, you know, mother approves of that.
13:38That's what started a separation between me and the church because they didn't like it, but I love church, but they didn't like my videos. So, growing up got kind of weird.
13:48Me and my mom, we had it out for a while because, you know, she's a basketball player and she wanted a football, basketball, sports, lifting, a thousand girlfriends type of son.
14:13That's what she wanted. And I couldn't give that to her.
14:28I always had a pretty good idea of who I was. The problem came when I let everybody else tell me who I was supposed to be.
14:34So, I was always torn, you know, like, I know I feel this way, but, you know, this is what mama wants. My granddad kind of wants me to be doing this and then my dad kind of wants me to be doing this, but this is what I do over here.
14:53Church was all I knew up until like 16, 17, and then I had to come to a space where I was choosing me or church.
15:01I actually met Drew through Facebook and I was like, I'm down to do that. Hey, I'll dance.
15:10Personally, I'm not Christian, but it's like queer church. I'm like, I'm down to come to that. What we doing?
15:22You know, it's like, I want to see what this is about. And some people might be hesitant because they're like, oh my gosh, I don't want to go to church.
15:29I'm like, it's not the church you think. You can be free.
15:32I believe queer church is like, you know, exploring our queerness. Is it owning our power?
15:39Taking it back from the church that, you know, hey, church can be a safe space for queer people. It isn't like all these different horrible dichotomies of like hate.
15:53It's supposed to be about love, unconditional love and unconditionally loving others with healthy boundaries.
16:01I don't mean being a martyr. I don't mean going over your capacities, but like what that love really means, like healthy, holistic love.
16:16My name is Jay Mack. Pronouns are they, them, theirs, or daddy, T-H-D-D-Y, coined by Uhuru Universe, another gender-known performing black trans artist.
16:30I come from Orange Mountain, Memphis, Tennessee, historically black-owned neighborhood, Christian Baptist background.
16:37I'm no longer Christian Baptist anymore. I'm more of a spiritual free being celebrating the earth and my ancestors and the universe.
16:45And I believe God has no gender and is more of an energy than a person. It's just energy.
16:54You feel inside and you're a part of it. We're all a part of it. It's like a consciousness almost.
17:00I sent my mom along an email because in the South, like being black and queer is like, what? You can't, you can't be black and queer? I'm like, but you can.
17:18Growing up in the South, I thought it was just the L and the G in the, in the spectrum and not the T and not the G and not the N and the plus or whatever I want it to be.
17:31And like learning them like, oh, I could be non-binary because that's how I feel. I don't feel that I am a certain gender. I'm just here.
17:43Drew was kind enough and God was present enough to have me be part of the queer church.
17:52I am Joseph Castaneda Carrera, he, him, his.
17:57So I grew up in the Catholic church until I was 13 and then my parents divorced and my dad became a Southern Baptist deacon and my mom became Pentecostal.
18:08And I just couldn't really find my space, I think.
18:14So when I was 13, uh, more, more around 15 is when I felt the anger, I think, because I felt called to be a pastor, but I also was reconciling that I was gay.
18:21And I thought, well, that's just me. Why would you call me to do this and make me gay?
18:26I left the church really angry. I left the church really hurt and I decided that I would prefer to believe that there was not a God instead of thinking that there was a God that was cruel.
18:40So I left and it took me until I met a pastor in the ELCA church who spoke God to me and I thought, this is what I always thought God was about.
18:49She said, why don't you come to church? I thought it was a trick.
18:54So many times I've been invited to churches and people say, my church is really welcoming and I go and it's anything but welcoming and it's so hurtful and I've become very suspicious of welcome.
19:04But I gave her a chance and I came back under two rules. I was going to learn all the anti-LGBTQ texts well enough so I could argue with somebody and win.
19:13Or I was going to stay until I was hurt. It wasn't long before I was hurt and it wasn't too long until I learned those texts well.
19:23But by the time I could fight, it was the last thing I wanted to do. So I stayed. And a calling I had received really early in life to be a pastor just started stirring again.
19:35And here, not more than eight years later, I'm a pastor of a church of churches and now I'm doing queer church.
19:43And it's kind of the opposite, right? Where I was pushed out because of who I am and now I'm pulled back into the church because of who I am. And that's a beautiful thing.
19:51This is the bulletin that I'm envisioning. We're going to talk through it first and then once we're done with that, we'll move into like a soft walk through.
20:09Start with the cover. The cover, it's a depiction of Saint Sebastian, has been kind of deemed history's first gay icon and is the patron saint of homosexuality.
20:19Just because all the depictions of Saint Sebastian is he's this like sexy, beautiful, persecuted person.
20:27It's beautiful.
20:29Right? If you've been to a church service, it's kind of a straightforward, usual, quote unquote, church service, the order.
20:38In the Lutheran church, there's a sacrament of confession and forgiveness.
20:42But I've rephrased it to have it be called affirmation of God's love slash letting go of shittiness.
20:48Yes.
20:49The phrase confession and forgiveness can feel kind of heavy, especially in queer communities.
20:55Like, girl, we've confessed enough about who we are and we've asked enough forgiveness.
21:00For the longest time, to be a pastor meant one couldn't be partnered and gay in the Lutheran church.
21:11Seminary, during the years I was there, was a pretty closeted place to be.
21:21This was the late 80s.
21:22Didn't even really think about coming out because I didn't, wasn't telling myself really yet the truth until my senior year of seminary.
21:30It took falling in love with a classmate and at the same time hearing those lectures on God's grace and mercy and compassion.
21:43Family, not so accepting, difficult for them to hear that news and they have come a long way over the years.
21:56But it was difficult for, for most of my friends, I have to say it was, it was no surprise.
22:03When it's hard, you need to look ahead and just remember everything I said about how you're making no matter the outcome.
22:10So rise up and show them all where you came from.
22:15So the journey has been one of coming out over the years since I began to prepare to be a pastor and telling myself the truth about myself first
22:26and then finally telling the church the truth about me.
22:30You've got to rise up to take on the world one by one.
22:41There are many pastors who have been defrocked for being open and honest with their churches, with their bishops, with those in authority over them.
22:53So much so that there is a project called the Stoles Project where these pastors who were defrocked literally gave their stoles to a project that would display them.
23:04And it really drives home how many pastors gave up those stoles for the truth about themselves.
23:14When we're ordained, the thing that happens is the bishop or whoever the ordaining minister is places that stole around our shoulders, around our necks and
23:33with scripture and prayer.
23:36And that's sort of the moment, the ritual moment when we become a pastor and to have that removed and set aside.
23:46Some were able to take them back again by God's grace, but others pursued other professions and never returned.
23:56So after I came out in Orlando, I remember walking around the convention center and getting a lot of stares and glares.
24:14I was afraid of losing my job, everything I had prepared a lifetime for.
24:20I brought my third grade Bible with me and made my two minute speech.
24:24But I just said, you know, I'm I'm a son of this church.
24:28I belong to you.
24:29You're my mother in a sense.
24:32Where would I go?
24:35I belong to you.
24:36You belong to me.
24:37We belong to each other.
24:38We're family.
24:40And I just implored them to not send me away.
24:45So children, your drag mother, Jesus, invites you to the table to get some bread and wine, gluten free or gluten full.
25:02Is you say that Jesus is our drag mother?
25:05And I think that's I think that's fine.
25:07I think maybe people just like it so much that they'll be curious what you mean.
25:11Yeah.
25:12So maybe explain, like, how was Jesus my drag mother?
25:15House of the Lord.
25:17You have those people who were, say, disowned by their family or kicked out that lean on their drag mother or their drag family.
25:25Hershey is one of the first drag queens that I met when I moved to L.A.
25:29And is also from the south, from Missouri.
25:33It was five or six of us black queer performers.
25:39So to have that community, I definitely leaned on them a lot.
25:42As far as my growth here, moving to L.A. and trying to become the person I'm trying to be.
25:49Hershey is one of my favorite performers in L.A.
25:52Like, if Hershey has a show and I go, I know I'm not going to be bored.
25:57Although, don't take that to the head.
25:59Espie's one of my best friends out here in Atlanta.
26:02I really like her.
26:04I'm lying.
26:05Oh, I said Atlanta.
26:07I meant Los Angeles.
26:12Espie's trash.
26:15I came up with my drag name when the whole situation with Trayvon Martin happened.
26:22I wanted a name to say I was queer but I was black at the same time.
26:27I wanted something that would be in your face.
26:29And Hershey was just, I literally turned the page of some magazine or something.
26:33And Hershey's chocolate bar was right there.
26:35And I was like, oh, Hershey.
26:36Hershey?
26:37Okay, sure.
26:38Liqueur?
26:39I don't know where that came from.
26:40It just hit me.
26:42And then Jatay, my drag mother, her name is Calypso Jatay.
26:47So I took her name and added it to mine.
26:50My drag mother, she's pretty much my mentor.
26:54She teaches me, you know, her style of performance and how I can incorporate it into mine.
26:59And she'll give me a costume here or there or give me some advice if I need it.
27:04Pretty much like a big sister slash mom type of situation.
27:07Your family is who you choose to be your family.
27:19Blood doesn't always have to be who you tie yourself to.
27:21And my parents were very toxic for a long time.
27:25And I got to a place where I had to let them know that we don't have to be a part of each other's life in a certain way.
27:33And if you can't meet me where I'm at, we don't have to be there.
27:36And I think that was just more of a wake-up call for them that they had to catch up with me.
27:40The first half of it is kind of slow, softer, quieter.
27:52And after communion, the first song and dance.
27:56Why bring drag queens into church?
27:59Of all the drag shows I've gone to, there's something very holy that's happening in that space.
28:11When I go to a drag show, I feel alive.
28:16When I leave, I feel alive and very fed and very affirmed in my queerness.
28:23I think we're in drag every Sunday.
28:37I mean, we put on these fabulous gowns and we accentuate them with stoles and with jewelry, with crosses, necklaces.
28:49It's fun to dress up, but it's also so symbolic of the way in which we are called to be servants to one another.
29:01This, today, it took me two hours because I could sit down and just play with it.
29:06I can do a face in like 45 minutes.
29:09It's the fastest.
29:11That didn't take her long at all.
29:13Yeah, no, I went really quick.
29:15My faces tend to take me about 45 minutes because when I take longer than that,
29:19that's when I just stare in the mirror and start doing stuff I don't need to do.
29:22And then I really look a mess.
29:24So I'd rather look less of a mess by going fast than taking all my time and then just looking crazy.
29:34It used to bother me going down the street in drag.
29:37Like, I'll quickly wipe off my makeup or something.
29:39Like, my first two months of drag, I'll come there dressed up, but I'll wipe my makeup off before I go outside
29:43because I was worried about who was looking at me.
29:45But now, I just, you know, I invite the attention.
29:48Like, I do a lot of shows downtown, and I will wear my heels on purpose just to clack on the sidewalk to see who's looking.
29:54I enjoy that attention a little bit too much, honestly.
29:58I wear heels, but I also don't move a lot when I do shows.
30:03My go-to stunt, I do hair flips.
30:06And I just whip my hair really hard to make people feel like that I actually just did something spectacular.
30:13The one thing a lot of people don't understand about drag is it's separate from being trans.
30:18So drag is what you do, and being trans is who you are.
30:21I do drag, but I'm not a trans woman.
30:24Actually, my persona is a little boy in his mom's clothes is what I tell people.
30:29But I think it's just very important that people make that separation.
30:33So there's going to be some swears in church, and that—
30:36I'm down with it.
30:37Yeah, I'm all for that.
30:38I was just wondering, like, can I cuss in here?
30:40You know, I think if you can't—if you don't swear, how do you pray?
30:45Right.
30:46Sometimes saying shit is the only prayer that you need.
30:50If you're angry, like, that's sometimes all you gotta say.
30:53And then saying, okay, one more thing.
30:54This is queer church.
30:55If you're feeling weird about the word queer, don't worry.
30:59Queers in the institutional church have had an ugly history,
31:02and we're working to reclaim both of those as a powerful, life-giving thing.
31:08There's a lot of similarities between early Christians and queer folks.
31:14The word Christian was a derogatory term.
31:17It was given to the group of people who followed Jesus by the Romans, meaning little Christ.
31:23Early Christianity was not legal, so they ended up having to meet in secret.
31:29They would have basically code for, are you a follower of Christ or are you Roman?
31:35So having to meet in secret and having to be hush-hush about who you hang out with is so similar to the queer community,
31:43especially in earlier decades when being gay was illegal.
31:49How the queer church and early church relate to each other is that it wasn't safe, but it is worth it to risk.
32:01It is worth it to be brave.
32:03Church, what it represents for me, is a place of healing, right?
32:08So I feel like it's definitely important for, especially if you're a Christian of the LGBT community,
32:15it's important for you to have a space to go where you identify with, where other people identify with you,
32:20and you feel safe being there.
32:35If I were to speak to anybody struggling with, even with something like doing drag,
32:40find your comfort first before you just get out there and do it, make sure you're safe,
32:46you make sure you have, you know, resources, some place to stay, some place to be.
32:50You never know how people are going to react.
32:52There are a lot of different violences that I've dealt with and a lot of black trans women deal with.
33:21They're like the most killed in America.
33:27Not only are black folks targeted at higher rates than white folks,
33:31but black trans women of color are targeted at a much higher rate than really any demographic in this country.
33:38You know, we're still in a weird space where everybody's trying to learn new things and who we are and how we navigate.
33:47So anybody younger, I would say, be safe.
33:50Any questions, comments?
34:00Something that I would just add is that, and we continue to be created.
34:06Like this, this like, because creation wasn't just like when we were formed.
34:09Like when somebody decides to like begin transitioning or decides to name themselves,
34:15like that's God continuing to create them.
34:19Ever since I was a little kid, I felt different.
34:24And I didn't know what that difference was. I didn't have the language for it.
34:28I remember frequently being asked to wear a dress or wear tights.
34:33My school uniform was a jumper or a skirt.
34:37I hated them. It made me cringe.
34:41Well, at first I came out as lesbian in high school, and that was really hard.
34:46I didn't really know how my family would react, but they told me right away that they loved me
34:52and would support me through anything, which I was not prepared for that response.
34:58I was prepared for like, get out of our house.
35:01You know, I went in there ready for a fight, but only to be met with that shocking love.
35:10Many, many years later, I came out as trans, and I remember feeling very similar reactions.
35:15I don't know what my family's going to think.
35:17I'm mentally preparing myself to be rejected,
35:22to only be met with, we love you and we want to support you through all of this.
35:28It's all love, so I pray that when you fall, you get up.
35:31You need help, don't hesitate, call me up, I got you.
35:34We all run, so that means we're second to none.
35:37So we all could burn this bright in the sun, so get up and have fun.
35:40Cause it could be your last day. It's all about perception, dealing with it in the bad way.
35:44It's all about perception, so much loving that they can.
35:46I know that I have been lucky to have been raised in a family and in a church that sees me and knows me and loves me.
35:53And I do think that may be part of why I feel like I can do queer church.
36:01Not everyone feels that comfort of not only going to church as a queer person, but holding space for queer people,
36:10a queer-centric worship experience where queer people are invited and centered in the entire experience.
36:20We can unite and it can happen tonight. It's up to us, so let's rise above.
36:24We can change the world and all it takes is love. It matters to us.
36:28If you wanna go get it, the world is all yours.
36:39Today is the day. This evening, queer church is happening.
36:43There will be song and dance and drag queens and Jesus and the gospel.
36:49This will not be your grandparents' Sunday evening liturgy.
36:57So come on out and worship the Lord in a new way tonight and let Pentecost and pride come a little bit early.
37:05I love you, no one knows my name when screaming about the world's house because I can't stop for my pain.
37:15I control the game. You will not believe you.
37:21Growing up, especially being a part of the LGBT community, I never felt included in church.
37:27So to have this opportunity presented to me is literally the definition of being included
37:33for me personally.
37:34It's just, it's a weird feeling.
37:37It really is just sitting in the church and thinking about the performance that I'm going
37:42to do.
37:44But it, it feels amazing.
37:46It's hot, and I'm nervous, and I still, because I haven't, my mind's still, like, it's a church
37:54but the song I'm performing, I'm still trying to accept it as custody, it's not about the
37:59custody of the church.
38:00I hope the audience sees that trans people and non-binary people in general, we're not
38:06just all, like, voguing and turning up all the time, and nothing's wrong with that, but we're
38:12also mysterious, magical, celestial beings who like to dance and express themselves.
38:19This is beautiful to me where, um, I'm not going to try to quote the Bible, but I'm almost
38:24certain there's a verse in there that says, come as you are.
38:28Somebody can literally come exactly as they are, and they're welcome to have a seat and
38:32be part of it.
38:34And all they're, all they're welcome with is a, is a hug instead of why you're here.
38:39That's, that's so important to me.
38:43Before we walk out, I'd like to have a prayer for all of y'alls.
39:00Good and gracious God, you keep it weird.
39:05You have blessed us with our queerness, you have blessed us with this life, this uniqueness.
39:13We are anointed in our queerness.
39:15Be with us this day as we celebrate the joy of life and the joy of your love and love for
39:22everyone.
39:23Church to me means that we're able to come to God exactly who we are.
39:29As queer individuals, I think we are asked to leave parts of ourselves outside.
39:34The parts that feel messy or broken or heavy.
39:37Join us this day as we turn it up, let go of any shit that tells us that we are not good.
39:43In your name we pray.
39:45Amen.
39:46Amen.
39:47All right.
39:49There is a deep, deep hunger in our world for new things, especially new things coming from
39:55marginalized communities.
39:57People want to see the gospel lived out by people of color, by queer folks, by women,
40:04by children, by drag queens and non-binary folks, trans folks.
40:09They want that.
40:11And not everyone knows where to go to see that.
40:14And I think by bringing the two worlds together, there is healing happening.
40:30We begin queer church by being reminded of just how loved we are and we ask God to help us let go of all brokenness,
40:37all heaviness, all shittiness that prevents us from knowing that we are truly loved.
40:42Let us pray.
40:43God, your love is so weird and so good.
40:49You made me specifically.
40:51I think we've had many, many, many years of hurting people that are different and I think I may spend the rest of my life just undoing hurt.
40:59I felt called to ministry to come and share the liberating love of God, but I'm okay if for the rest of my life all I do is apologize for what people have done in church.
41:08And I'm okay if I'm just reducing the hurt that people feel. That might be enough.
41:27Being asked to participate in this is pretty great because I've never really seen a drag performance happen during a church ceremony.
41:35Hush now baby, come closer to me. I want your voice up in my head. Every time you push me away, it make me love you but instead.
41:50So to think that there are people who might see this and it might just open up their minds, it can open the eyes of those queer individuals who may not realize that,
42:01Oh, it's okay to be open. It's okay to embrace who you are. Don't worry about being judged because look at me. I'm literally a man dressed up in a church right now. Don't let anything hold you back.
42:16Thank you,ват.
42:20I will come back.
42:23It's all strength.
42:31We're just playing.
42:36It's all The days.
42:40I was so busy watching, I forgot I had to pray.
42:56We gather tonight as friends and as strangers off the street,
43:01and we love on each other, and we break bread and drink wine together
43:06as a symbol of God's love for us and God's call to us to love and serve everyone
43:13until all chains of individual and systemic oppression are broken.
43:22I think for the queer community, I would say the church is yours.
43:27God intended the church to be for you, for the people who are pushed out of society,
43:32for the people that are pushed out.
43:34The church is already yours.
43:35You just have to move in and claim it.
43:38People will work all their lives to tell you that it's not for you,
43:43but God's already said it is.
43:51People on the margins know all about death.
43:54Queer folks know all about death.
43:56People of color know all about death.
43:57Women know all about death.
43:59Immigrants that are undocumented,
44:01and people in prison know all about death.
44:05When black trans women are killed at a far higher rate than any other person,
44:11we know death.
44:13Son of God, fully human,
44:16born a poor brown boy in a small town into a world ruled by oppressive governments
44:23and strict religious laws.
44:24That same poor brown boy growing up to be a devout Jewish man whose life was spent teaching
44:32about loving the rejects, even if it breaks the religious law.
44:36And in teaching that, being wrongfully arrested and brutally killed.
44:42So I was looking at the people involved, all people of color, thinking about pride.
44:54And pride was started by queer women of color.
44:59This past weekend, on June 28th, marks the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots,
45:05riots where essentially people were gathering at the Stonewall Inn in New York and the police
45:11had raided the bar and people within the bar, specifically trans women of color,
45:17they got fed up and they started a riot because they were sick and tired of the police raiding
45:22their space.
45:23And it was their safe space where they could freely be themselves.
45:27And as a result, 50 years later, the Pride Festival has commemorated that event
45:35ever since then, celebrating our divine queerness.
45:53A lot of my performance comes from me overcoming adversity in an anti-black, homovoid, transphobic
46:06world.
46:07I just kind of overcome that by doing no harm, taking no shit.
46:13Being a free being stems a lot from my culture, a lot from hip-hop, R&B, soul.
46:20I do a lot of Afrofuturism where it's like what the African or black diaspora or people
46:26of color is in the future.
46:29I'm just kind of being before my time, in time, around time, all through time.
46:35So I think Queer Church is an amazing thing.
46:37It shows that, hey, God loves all people, yes, you should actually believe what you practice
46:42and preach.
46:43So I think this is a really great and awesome thing happening.
46:47It's like, uh, resistance to the bullshit, you know.
46:59So, friends, children of God, take off your grave clothes and just come out.
47:07Come out, friends.
47:08Come out, Lazarus.
47:09Come out, sisters and brothers and siblings.
47:12Come out, all of you who are feeling dead.
47:20Drew is a soft-spoken and laid-back.
47:23In his quietness, he absorbs and receives folks as they are.
47:32He will make a great pastor.
47:35God shouts at us to step into the light of resurrection and live your life out loud.
47:41There is an entire kingdom of love and freedom waiting for you.
47:48Amen.
47:49Amen.
47:53So, no, I'm excited to perform for everybody here because this is, I didn't even think I would be,
47:59me performing drag in a church, Lord, like, I mean, I'm bubbling because I'm excited, yeah.
48:07I, it's, it's like a full circle moment, like I'm taking something that I was told I need
48:11to keep away from it and I'm bringing it back to something I've been doing my whole life,
48:16being in church.
48:17I'm stronger than I was before.
48:34I won't let nothing break my will.
48:39And I've seen trouble come and go.
48:42And through it all, I'm standing here.
48:47One of my favorite verses in the Bible has always been, come as you are.
48:54And I feel like queer church says it, but they mean it.
48:58It's not any stipulations on it.
49:00Come as you are.
49:00It's not a come as you are, but it's come as you are.
49:03And we have it.
49:04I won't lose my faith.
49:06I won't lose my faith.
49:08He's got my trust.
49:11And I've got his way.
49:12But I'm performing and I'm doing these different shows and I'm making my videos and I'm so happy.
49:17I was free and I was performing.
49:19So God has to like that, right?
49:20God has to feed somebody that's happy.
49:22And through the fire, and through the rain, through the rain, through the rain, my faith,
49:29no, lose my faith, no.
49:33Don't worry about you and faith.
49:36When I lose my faith, no.
49:39Well, God is so in love with you.
49:56Now go share some of that reckless love with each other.
50:00Okay, we will.
50:03I understand my call to ministry as a call to hold space for those whose voices and experiences
50:21have been actively rejected or ignored or cast aside by mainstream society.
50:28My ultimate dream, if I had my way, queer church would happen in every church in the country.
50:36I think what I would like to do is to bring it to other churches, make connections in different
50:43cities.
50:44So I'd have to spend time getting to know people in the community and then bring it to the church
50:51to show not only queer people, but people who are maybe allies or curious about queer issues,
50:57a new, different way of living out the gospel.
51:00I would also like to bring the tools of what I use to create queer church to people who are
51:07curious about making their own.
51:10Maybe not an exact replica, but just to get the conversation started for them about what
51:14it might look like in their context to have queer church.
51:17We are rising from the ashes We're rising from the ashes
51:44I was so busy watching, I forgot I had to pray.
51:54This will not be your grandparents' Sunday evening liturgy.
52:21Is there anything I would like to say to Drew?
52:23First of all, thank you for inviting me.
52:26Thank you for having the courage to put something like this together, because where I'm from,
52:30this is not necessarily heard of.
52:32I hope that it helps me get more in touch with my spiritual side again, which I really
52:37enjoyed about my past, but I kind of deviated from.
52:51So, we are reborn, we are reborn.
53:00No matter what, we're breaking free.
53:05Shine brighter than ever.
53:08Oh, can't you see?
53:10Rise up to the base, nothing's getting in our way.
53:16Rise up like a flame, let the lightning guide our way.
53:22Rise up like a beast, no time to hesitate.
53:27Take me, rip me, rip me, rip me, rip me, rip me, rip me.
53:31Oh, now I'm here.
53:33Roll, live on the, roll, live on the, feel so wide awake.
53:42Roll, live on the, roll, live on the, feel so wide awake.
53:56Rise up like a flame, let the lightning guide our way.
54:01Rise up like a beast, no time to hesitate.
54:13Believe, rip me, rip me, rip me, rip me, rip me, rip me, rip me, rip me, rip me.
54:20Rise up like a beast, no time to hesitate.
54:40Rise up like a beast, no time to hesitate.
54:44Rise up like a beast, no time to hesitate.
54:50You
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