00:00I, going in, knew I was going to be most terrified of the water challenges.
00:04I think a lot of everyone's biggest fear is probably drowning.
00:07It'd be weird if it wasn't.
00:08But I was totally afraid of the water, so I was terrified.
00:13Every morning I would wake up, we didn't know what we were going to do.
00:17So I had butterflies just like, what are we going to do today?
00:21That was terrifying, just thinking, what's to come?
00:25Um, but water for me as well, just like was something that I knew was going to be a challenge
00:30because I didn't really know how to swim.
00:32So I learned how to swim.
00:35One of the Marines taught me how to swim just to make sure that, you know, it was safe out
00:40there.
00:40But like, I didn't have all the confidence that I needed to like, you know, just, um,
00:46to pass each, I guess, challenge, but I learned how to swim.
00:50I mean, it's just two completely different things.
00:53It's the physical, I think going through what I went through last year gave me the adversity
00:57and the mental strength to probably do anything without that.
01:00I don't think I could have gotten through special forces.
01:04Uh, I don't think I would have been like mentally strong enough.
01:07So if anything, like silver lining, it prepared me to get through this course.
01:12Yeah.
01:12So that's the first time that you really sit down and talk to the DS and it's after they
01:19break you down to this point where like, you're so emotional, whether it's like in a positive
01:24way or a negative way.
01:25So everything just feels 10 times more emotional than it is.
01:30So when I sat down for some reason, I just couldn't stop crying.
01:33I was like shaking.
01:34It was such an out of body experience for me.
01:37So I really don't want to rewatch the interrogations.
01:40I'm a little nervous of that too.
01:41I think, I don't know just like what they keep, what, what they, what they will keep
01:47in and what they will take out.
01:48You just don't know.
01:49Cause you really, it, you, they get you at your like most vulnerable like time.
01:53And like when you really want to know certain questions and know everything about you felt
02:00like a therapy in a way though, just brutal therapy with like physical aspects, but it
02:05was a therapeutic in a way.
02:07I think I forgot I was on a show.
02:08I fully thought I was like going into the military after this.
02:10And I was like, I just got to lean into it.
02:12This is out of control.
02:13But then I snapped out of it.
02:15I'm like, it's just a show.
02:16It didn't feel like a show at all.
02:18Like that, nothing about this felt like we were there to shoot a show.
02:22Cause there was nobody giving us any like snacks or, you know, like it was just like, it was,
02:29this is what we're doing.
02:30Do it, you know?
02:31And, ah, it was tough, man.
02:34It was really tough.
02:36Poop in front of each other.
02:37Like I slept with rats.
02:39I started my period the first day we got there.
02:42So I'm on the side of the mountain, like, Hey, can you guys look away?
02:46It was awful.
02:47It was my birthday while I was there.
02:50Did you do any celebration?
02:52No, I was getting waterboarded.
02:55Yeah.
02:57Memorable.
02:57Well,
03:14you
