- 2 months ago
A video uploaded by Kelsey's Corner on (2023-04-03)
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CreativityTranscript
00:00Thank you so much for being here. My name is Savannah Brown, I'm a poet, and I'm currently on my first ever tour.
00:14Which means what you're about to see is the worst it's ever going to be.
00:18This is round zero strapping. Actually, this is the last show of the tour, so to be fair you're the best of the worst.
00:25And also, I lost my voice a few days ago, so I have this sassy little smoking area thing going on.
00:32I need to be clear, I'm not in any pain. I know there are some empaths here tonight. I'm doing okay.
00:40I don't know, this is so cool, thank you for coming.
00:44Poetry, the people aren't sure about poetry, are they? I'm not always sure about poetry.
00:49No, I think it's the most important thing in the world, except for antibiotics and Twitch streamers.
00:59When you get to the poetry and you're like, this is almost as good as that other stuff.
01:04No, it's hard. It's a fad rap because a lot of it's bad. It's hard to do well.
01:09It's really difficult to perform, even conceiving the show, trying to come up with the mood or the tone or whatever.
01:18You want to be sincere, coming across heavy-handed, and you want to say something clever and beautiful.
01:24You want everyone to be able to follow you there. You want them to understand whatever the hell you're talking about on the fly. It's hard.
01:31And I'm firmly rooted in the camp of, I know it's a discourse to be like, arts can just be for yourself. No, it can't. Absolutely not.
01:42No, it's all about understanding and communication and idea exchange for me, like all of that always.
01:49Anyway, this first poem is called Poet Derogatory, and it starts with a real thing my ex-boyfriend said to me.
02:01He likes my poems because it's interesting to see how differently we experience the same moment, which was a nice way to say I am always overreacting.
02:12Meanwhile, I hate poems, and myself for writing them, these monologues delivered and riddled by a troll who guards the bridge to a place no one even wants to go, like hell, or an open bike, where a further coalition of trolls guard further bridges.
02:34I try so hard. Spend hours on the word tom, comma, look at this experimental maze intended for an animal both winged and extinct, and don't get me started on love, my term of endearment.
02:49Today I tried to tell you you're the chosen one in a long, dead language, wrote an instruction manual for disabling an atom bomb in cipher, blasted slow-growing peonies into space to move them closer to the sun.
03:04Why can't I just say it straight? I am so in love with you, it makes me want to die. Understand?
03:12Anyway, we know words always win. I'm sorry, another lie. Sometimes they win, but often they lose. This is the truth, I have nothing else. Thank you.
03:22So many hands. Thank you guys so much again for being here. Thank you for allowing the first part of my set to be purely vitriol about the art form you all come to see. That's very nice of you.
03:43No, that poem sums up a lot of what I've been thinking about recently. I've been thinking a lot about language, and while we were still dating, I was thinking so much about my boyfriend.
03:55I was thinking about my boyfriend all the time. Not very trendy to love your boyfriend at the moment. I don't know if you've seen, it's a bit cringe.
04:06No, not because I was so obsessed with it, but for separate mental illness-related reasons. Over the course of our relationship, I found myself experiencing something called retroactive jealousy.
04:19Which, if you don't know what that is, is jealousy to do with your partner's past. That unchangeable thing that's not happening anymore. It has nothing to do with you.
04:30And it was really frustrating because I'm like an emotional person, but I'm also like a logical person sometimes. And I found it really frustrating to be feeling such overwhelming badness about this thing that was just not rooted in reality whatsoever.
04:44I kept making up weird little scenarios and was driving us all the same. This is called Retroactive Jealousy. It's also my first and potentially my last poem to feature the oft-forgotten word in poetry, pussy.
04:56This is Retroactive Jealousy.
05:02Like a perfectly black rectangle hovering pie inches above the highway. It's heroic, but vague enough to deal with later.
05:11Like cosmic desynchronization. And not the sort of nice guy like being jet-lagged or day drunk. More like the cultural rancidness I feel while watching my friends silently watch commercials.
05:25Like an epidemic of suicidal moths bashing out their brains against the city-stripped neon reading girls, girls, girls. Like the recurrent UTI of the mind.
05:37When baby fingers my mascara from under my eyes, my whole face comes off in baby scans.
05:43Obsession grants me the precision of a surgeon who operates only on incredibly hot girls.
05:51They show up bearing a tasteful handlory and razor-shark banter and really decent music taste. Pussy brain bank.
06:01Back arched as a cat about to be sick. A giggle like a little bell rung by pheromones wearing sleepover pajamas.
06:09Lips which never touch lest she conceal her sweet half wafer of teeth. Like in my mind she even has the sexiest knees I've ever seen.
06:20Petal skin. Wine stain red like a watercolor brush bleeding into spring water. Girlies. This is what I've become.
06:31Rationality crows. The suicidal moths have risen from the dead and are now circling the source of the dark.
06:40Nega moths. Being smart has nothing to do with being smart. And with the U and Lose language.
06:48Someday I'll care for something without wanting to close a door behind it. Thank you.
06:54I've been dating. Actually first of all we're all getting UTIs all the time. Where did those come from? Space?
07:15No, I've been dating. And I don't want to talk about it too much because I feel like hearing about someone else's dating life is like hearing about a crazy dream they had.
07:28But it was probably really weird when you were there. I can't possibly relate.
07:34No, I've been like on the apps. And I've been, the vibes don't sit well with me. People will say stuff like, up for anything.
07:50Anything? Sure, I'll probably come to you with a couple things you wouldn't be up for. Like going to a poetry show?
08:02The other haps that they'd be here tonight, where the hell are they? No, just kidding.
08:07Um, I, um, no, so I, because I've been on the apps, I, um, I've been, uh, it's like a never-ending picture show of horrors.
08:16War lords that I've been like swiping so much. Um, and now I finally know what my taste is.
08:22I wasn't sure before because I was in all these like long-term relationships, but now I know what my taste is and here it is.
08:28I am attracted to men who look like ventriloquist dummies.
08:36They're like wearing a little outfit.
08:41They look like you could prop them up on your knee and get them to say something silly, you know?
08:46And I like men who look like haunted puppets. And I like women who look like they would give me a swirly.
08:55Not could, would. Like they don't like me. And they want me to suffer.
09:01That's what I'm after these days. No, I like the girls. I don't know if any other bisexuals have experienced this.
09:09Uh, I, I go on a date with a guy. We could be having a nice conversation. The vibes are good. Everything's fine.
09:17Uh, I don't care whether he lives or dies.
09:26No object purpose for this fella. What so ever. Goodbye!
09:33I say as he tumbles into the ether of my mind. Never to be seen again.
09:37I go on a date with a girl. I show up and I'm like, ha ha ha ha ha.
09:42And it turns into a deranged little echo.
09:45Like, you're very pretty.
09:48I very much care that she lives.
09:52No, I like, I like the girls. I like when they hit the town.
10:00They're all wearing little outfits. I think I just like when people wear little outfits.
10:03No, I like when they go as a group. I think it's called a gaggle.
10:08Uh, so I wrote a poem about them.
10:12Um, this is called Shared Consciousness of the Party Girl.
10:18One second, please.
10:21Talk amongst yourselves, Rose.
10:24This is called Shared Consciousness of the Party Girl.
10:28When you need me, look up from your shoes on any busy street past setting hour.
10:34Iron air.
10:36A neon blush exclamation mark, glitching through the dark, looking to attach yourself to anything for emphasis.
10:43In the city, it's easy to feel like you're doing something important, but this Cupid's bow says I actually am.
10:50I've come in search of the very best night time, and I'm ready to confess.
10:56I'd like some attention.
10:58I know you wanted to.
11:00The bed full of people who all want to touch you first.
11:04Immortality can be achieved by having poison drawn from your belly button by a stranger and interesting eyeliner.
11:11I know nothing about flesh.
11:14Know none of what it knows, but is trying so hard to tell me.
11:18It's a language like birdsong song in reverse.
11:22Something beautiful and raw.
11:25A moment feeling nostalgic for itself.
11:29The big gun.
11:31The little knife.
11:33The plush of the belly turned off expectant.
11:36Take all of us home, honey.
11:37We'll show you the things we can do.
11:42And I can finally stop complaining.
11:46There's a fragile world reflected in the glassy curl of your spit left on my belly, and I'm telling you I've never been so old.
11:55The day sucks with bitch teeth.
11:57Even given the shrubs of your dead rind caked under my fingernails, there's the black chasm of want expanding in my chest the way a bead of ink breaks, making me difficult to touch without an exit plan.
12:15Imagine, please, a better continuum.
12:18You say earlier doesn't feel real.
12:23And you're right.
12:25Not because there was anything exceptional about the heath in early afternoon.
12:29Not because our chin sticky with cider was a notable pit in this quiver and glitch of a life.
12:36But because it was too ordinary to even dare you ever hurt.
12:42Because we'll someday ache for any regular Sunday in June.
12:47Where the sun was a sure thing.
12:50Your breath tasted like warm grass.
12:53And there was not a single indication the cosmos would one day shut.
12:59Like your eyes, tight with pleasure.
13:36To the Perquès.
13:55Just want to show you guys i got my book signed.
13:58by Savannah Brown and her friend. I don't know what her name is. There we go and I
14:08also wanted her to sign this poetry book and I told her to pick a random page to
14:14sign.
14:28you
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