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📜 All with English subtitles
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Tonight!
00:02Kerry's got the jitters.
00:04Are you nervous?
00:06Yeah.
00:08Don't do that again.
00:10Donna's opening up.
00:12You wasted four years of my life.
00:14You didn't love me.
00:16And Louis shutting down.
00:18What's it like between me and you?
00:20I don't know, actually.
00:22As our celebs!
00:24You would never ask what underwear I had on, would you?
00:26Because there's actually none on here.
00:28Go!
00:30Sweat in this, lad. Bloke, boy, child, man.
00:32What?
00:34Dating! You want to know the last person
00:36that I did this for? Who is that?
00:38Jerry Springer.
00:48Welcome to Celebs Go Dating.
00:52The show that pumps pleasure into the love lives
00:54of the preened and pampered.
00:56It's morning at the agency and Tom's up and at them.
00:58Getting the gaff sorted for a busy day.
01:02Oh! What on earth happened?
01:04Just a late night office sex party. Standard.
01:08Oh, my handcuffs are still on the chair.
01:10What amateur handcuffs themselves to a wheeled chair?
01:14There's no purchase.
01:16You need something plumbed in so you can get your plums in.
01:18And first in, prime suspect for leaving her fluff cuffs on the floor,
01:22it's Dr Dutty herself, Tara.
01:24Hi, honey.
01:26Oh, hello, my darling.
01:28It's so chilly today.
01:30It's chilly and inclement.
01:32I'm so sorry for the grey welcome.
01:34It's London, not LA, Tom.
01:36And look who's breezing in now in a gorgeous blue trouser,
01:40suit, waistcoat, no shirt, it's a dubs.
01:42Arms out, ready to go.
01:44Hello, darling.
01:46Morning, guys.
01:47Hi, sunshine.
01:48Oh, look at you in cobalt.
01:50Oh, I thought I'd bring the sun.
01:52Morning, sir.
01:53You're lovely in cobalt.
01:54Oh!
01:55Oh, I find it such an uplifting colour.
02:00Last in and in no colour whatsoever,
02:02but still rocking his clown shoes,
02:04back in black, it's P-Dog.
02:08Fashionably late.
02:09There he is.
02:10High five.
02:11High five.
02:12How's everything?
02:13Sadly, I remain a total ignoramus concerning yesterday's events at brunch.
02:18I do hope the agents rain their gossip juices down upon me
02:21and quench my thirst.
02:23Hmm.
02:24We've got three visitors today.
02:25We've got Louis, Donna and Mark.
02:29Let's start with lovely Lulu.
02:32Louis has gone on a journey here of maturity.
02:35Yes.
02:36You know, and I think when we started,
02:37we didn't know where we would end.
02:39Yes.
02:40But we're headed in the right direction.
02:41And lovely, lovely Donna,
02:43have you got a particular line of inquiry today?
02:46I think there are a few little nuggets of real vulnerability
02:49that came out in her feedback yesterday,
02:52which I think we need to unpack a little bit more.
02:54And now, Mark, tell me.
02:56We're not pleased.
02:57Quite honestly, Tom, we're pissed off.
03:00Mark behaved badly yesterday.
03:02He was rude.
03:03He insulted the three of us, not once, not twice, but several times.
03:07Well, he is a numbers guy.
03:09It's like kicking three puppies, Tom.
03:11Puppy kicking with Mark Labette.
03:13Could be a Channel 5 show in that.
03:15Mark crossed the line at yesterday's brunch,
03:17and that behaviour is completely unacceptable.
03:20He's asked to come in, and I want to talk to him one-on-one
03:23because I've remained disappointed.
03:25Someone's on the naughty step.
03:27I just hope it's strong enough to take the load.
03:29Well, we have a busy day ahead.
03:30All right.
03:31Oof, big day.
03:32Heavy day, possibly.
03:33Yes, in very short order.
03:34Thank you, T.
03:35Thanks so much, T.
03:37Not at all.
03:38See you in a bow.
03:39Yeah, yeah.
03:40Thank you, thank you.
03:41See ya.
03:42Get a wriggle on, Tom, because look who's off the leash.
03:44The holiest dog of them all.
03:45This man loves the pub ears.
03:48I mean breasts.
03:49Hello, celebrity dating agency.
03:51It's too hot, Louie.
03:52Yes, yes.
03:53It is moi.
03:54Oh, Lulu.
03:56Come on in, darling.
03:59Who told you bad man don't dance?
04:01Who told you gangsters don't dance?
04:03Even with a wipe on my hip, I dance.
04:05Bad man take another sip and dance.
04:07Oh, Lulu.
04:09How are you doing?
04:10Oh, naughty.
04:12I know what you smell.
04:14What?
04:15You smell of the petrichor.
04:17Sorry?
04:18You smell of the petrichor.
04:20You know the perfume that the trees emit after the rain.
04:23Or as Chris Packham calls it, tree-jiz.
04:25When it's all verdant and lush.
04:27Oh, really?
04:28That's a nice smell.
04:30Louie Louie.
04:31Well, one man, two women.
04:33Louie is truly growing.
04:36And I think, you know, his decision last night was mature.
04:40In essence, he was saying, respectfully, I'd like to get to know both of you further.
04:44Yes, yes.
04:48It's your summons.
04:50Hello?
04:51Hi, Tom.
04:52We're ready for Louie.
04:54All right.
04:55Bye, darling.
04:56Thanks, lovely.
04:57Oh.
04:58Can I get a picture?
05:00I want a picture.
05:01You'll have a picture.
05:02Really?
05:03But you have to be alumni to have a picture.
05:06I'm a Pisces.
05:08Stop word bombing Louie, Tom.
05:10You'll make him look like a right idiot.
05:12Bye.
05:13Bye.
05:14And as you can see, he's more than capable of doing that himself.
05:18Oh, man.
05:19Wow.
05:20That was good.
05:21That was Louie's first EP.
05:22You look good.
05:24Tired.
05:25Now, let's take a deep breath.
05:26Let's talk about brunch.
05:27At yesterday's showdown, faced with a choice between Harriet from The Blind Dating and Alana from The Kent Away Trip, Louie went rogue.
05:43Really get on with both of you two, so if you would like to go on a date, Harriet and Alana.
05:50Um, I'll say yeah.
05:52Alana?
05:53I want to say yeah, because I obviously want to spend more time with you as well.
05:58What I hear is that we all have agreed to be going on a date.
06:02Typical greedy Pisces.
06:05You asked us to date both Harriet and Alana.
06:09Yeah, yeah.
06:10Walk us through that.
06:12I don't feel like I had enough time with both of them.
06:15And I just didn't know who I'd rather go on a date with, so then I thought the option would be better if I said,
06:22maybe I'll do another date with both of them if they're down for it.
06:26We're cool with it.
06:27Yeah.
06:28How you said it.
06:29You were clear.
06:30They seem not to be that cool with it.
06:32Right.
06:33Funny that.
06:34You know, it's so interesting, that observation amongst Harriet and Alana, because there's always this fairytale mindset of like finding the one.
06:44So the fact that you're like, I want to see you both, I think they're like struggling internally, you know, like a cognitive dissonance.
06:53Settle down, Susie Dent.
06:54We've had enough of this from Tom.
06:56Oh, I really want to see him again, but yet I also feel a little tiny bit devalued.
07:01But for us, it's respect.
07:04You know what you want to do.
07:06You said it out loud, respectfully, and they agreed to it.
07:10For us, it's a smooth ride.
07:11Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:12Both girls are so fit.
07:14And a few weeks ago, I would have been straight in there because I know that they both like me.
07:18But I don't want to cause any more grief.
07:21When it comes to these dates, I'm going to just use my mouth for the talking.
07:26Well, are you ready to have fun?
07:28Always.
07:29You are going on a date tonight with Alana.
07:32And you're going to go cocktail making.
07:35Is cocktail a tale or two?
07:38We know you're going to have fun on this date.
07:40But perhaps like regulate yourself and don't forget to always be honest and upfront and just be you.
07:47All right, see you guys.
07:49See you soon.
07:50You lot have a wonderful, beautiful day.
07:52All right, you too.
07:53You too.
07:54I'll let you know about the date.
07:55Yeah.
07:56I'll be on my best behavior.
07:57Can't wait to hear.
07:58Yes.
07:59Bye.
08:00See you later, guys.
08:01Bye.
08:04Louis is, in one sense, the most immature.
08:08But in one sense, the most emotionally aware of our celebs.
08:14Louis is getting praise.
08:16It don't compute.
08:17Help, I'm having dog-native kissy punts.
08:22Right, time to leave the mental chaos of the big city behind and head up north where Kerry's at home.
08:27Acting like the atomic kitten that got the cream.
08:31Things with Paolo are going extremely well.
08:33I'm very, very happy.
08:39It hasn't always been plain sailing for Kezza with Toy Boy Paolo after things got off to a shaky start.
08:44I think it looks like...
08:45I just worry that you might be too young.
08:47Really?
08:48But after he gatecrashed the away trip looking like a lost into Flora Correa...
08:52Sorry I'm late, guys.
08:54Traffic was horrendous.
08:55The snogging began.
08:57I wouldn't want to go date anybody else.
08:59And it all went next level at the brunch.
09:01I'm not used to feeling this way towards somebody.
09:04100% committed to seeing where it goes with Kerry.
09:07I'm all in.
09:09APPLAUSE
09:11But today Paolo must face every man's greatest fear.
09:15The friends and family test.
09:17As he's meeting Kezza's daughter Heidi and her best mate.
09:21Yep, it's only fucking scary spices.
09:24Younger sister Danielle.
09:25That really is.
09:27Oh my gosh.
09:29Don't worry, I'm sure there's enough left for your frosties.
09:31I've saved some.
09:34Me and Kerry are very close.
09:36We've been best friends, gosh, for about 16 years now.
09:41Wow, you must have seen it all in the boyfriend department in that time.
09:44Let's hope Paolo shapes up a bit better.
09:46I'm going to have to ask him a few questions.
09:49Just to try and feel out if he's a genuine guy.
09:52Bits, I'm just going to grill him.
09:54He better not mess this up because if you want to be her lover,
09:56you've got to get with her friends.
09:58Right, guys.
09:59Just tell me all about him.
10:01I can't.
10:02I'm mortified.
10:03Go on, look at her!
10:04She's gone red!
10:05You're totally smitten, aren't I?
10:07Oh, Danielle!
10:08I can tell you're in love!
10:10Can't you?
10:11Honestly, it makes me really like...
10:13It's because you're not used to talking about...
10:15No, it's not that.
10:16It's because I normally keep everything to meself.
10:18So this is different.
10:19I haven't seen you be all like...
10:21No, it's because...
10:22Blushy about a boy.
10:23A boy.
10:24A boy.
10:25Because he's 33.
10:26But he's actually not a boy, he's a man.
10:28Yeah, he is a man.
10:29That's done his GCSEs.
10:31And his A-level's not that long ago.
10:34Well, they kept putting me on dates like, oh bald man, it just wasn't working for me.
10:39I can't see you with an older...
10:41You look young and your energy and your...
10:44But I've never dated anybody younger than me apart from Ryan.
10:47That's not something I've ever gone for.
10:49Yeah.
10:50Mark was 10 years older than me.
10:51Brian was older than me.
10:52George was older than me.
10:53Fucking how long's the list?
10:55You could have run out of fingers.
10:56Do it, why not?
10:58I can't wait to meet him.
10:59Oh, he's lovely.
11:00He's a really nice lad.
11:01Bloke, boy, child, man.
11:02What?
11:03I am absolutely shitting myself.
11:06Only because I really like Paolo and I want them to really like him too.
11:10So getting their approval means everything to me.
11:13But I'm a nervous wreck.
11:15And here comes the main man now.
11:18Straight into the lion's den.
11:20Good luck, brother.
11:21I'm quite excited to meet one of Kerry's best friends.
11:24Obviously, I've got to get her approval before we go any further.
11:27This is a...
11:29Yay.
11:30We will.
11:31Oh, shit.
11:32This guy is screwed.
11:44Welcome back to Celebscut.
11:46Whoa, what is going on here?
11:48Oh, shit.
11:49After the beast went full dark side at yesterday's brunch, the rebel chaser has demanded to come to the Alliance HQ to meet the Jedi love gurus.
11:59There's no escape.
12:00He will destroy you.
12:07I am your chaser.
12:10Come in.
12:18Hello, Mark.
12:19Hello there.
12:20How are you, sir?
12:21I'm very well.
12:22How are you doing?
12:23Gosh, what girth.
12:24I love a good reach around, but Mark is a handful and a half.
12:27What an intimidating spectacle it must be to have him quizzing in one's face.
12:31Well, I'm available to write the agency a glowing testimonial, whatever you want, because I think the agents have done a wonderful job with me.
12:39Well, someone woke up on the right side of his super king this morning.
12:42Did that mean that you had a super brunch?
12:44Uh, yeah, it was okay.
12:46I mean, I might have been a bit too egotistical with the agents, which I will apologise for later.
12:52But sometimes I leave my ego dialled on a hundred.
12:56Well, on the plus side, Beastie Boy, that score could win you today's top prize.
13:00A tongue lashing from Paul.
13:02You lucky bastard.
13:04Over to a man now whose heart rate is dialled up to 100 as poor old Paolo tries to win the approval of Kerry's daughter Heidi and best mate Danielle Spice.
13:12Good luck, mate.
13:14Hello. Nice to meet you, Danielle.
13:15Nice to meet you.
13:16You look very nice.
13:17Good night.
13:18Here we go.
13:19Yeah.
13:20Nice to see you.
13:21So, how's your day been?
13:26Good.
13:27We've been talking a lot about you, actually.
13:29Have you ever?
13:30Yes.
13:31Hopefully all good.
13:32We've been friends for like 16 years, is it?
13:36So, I ride or die got her back.
13:38Obviously, I really like Kerry.
13:40We get on very well.
13:42The fact that I've met her was like, mind blowing.
13:45Why are you so quiet?
13:46I know.
13:47Are you nervous?
13:48Yeah.
13:49I'm sweating so much.
13:50It is warm.
13:51It's warm.
13:52It's warm.
13:53Don't touch me.
13:54Don't do that again.
13:55Sorry.
13:56You're fucking awesome.
13:57They're like, proper...
13:58Yeah.
13:59Right.
14:00So...
14:01Grilling time.
14:02Danielle's getting annoyed.
14:03No, I'm just saying, she's my best, best friend.
14:06So...
14:07I've got questions.
14:08Shit, this sounds ominous.
14:10The whole fame thing, because Kerry does get packed a lot when you're out and stuff like
14:13that.
14:14Are you...
14:15Or have you had the chat?
14:16No, we've had the chat.
14:17We've had the chat.
14:18We've had the chat.
14:19I think absolutely fine.
14:20Obviously, it comes with...
14:21You need to know what you're dealing with, really, don't you?
14:23100%.
14:24It's a totally different world.
14:26It is like...
14:27Because for me, as a friend, in 16 years, I've seen so many people try to get with Kerry.
14:31And they're on the fame, and they're on the money, and they're on the attention.
14:35Like, this sounds really weird, but I already feel like the richest man in the world, because
14:38I've got my daughters.
14:39So, my daughters make that, and then I've met somebody that I really connect with as
14:42well.
14:43So, for me, I don't need anything from anyone.
14:45I've been fully transparent with her from the beginning, so...
14:47Yeah, yeah.
14:48And I think that's really important, I think, if we just have the conversations, the awkward
14:51ones, or whatever, get to know each other straight away.
14:54All your cards are on the table, then.
14:56He's very emotionally mature.
14:57Yeah.
14:58Yeah.
14:59Yeah, Andy's sitting right in front of you, Heidi.
15:01Second question.
15:02Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.
15:04What does she like to do on a Sunday?
15:06Right.
15:07Tough one.
15:08Her ideal day off would be just get cosy, watch some movies, and chill.
15:13You know her well, then.
15:15Smashed it, Paolo.
15:16Welcome to the Katona Inner Sanctum.
15:19I've never felt a connection like it.
15:21Genuinely.
15:22Like, from the bottom of my heart, I haven't.
15:23It's just like...
15:24It's like a click.
15:25It's like...
15:26It's really...
15:27It's hard to explain, it is, but it's really nice as well.
15:29You sound...
15:30I'm happy for you both.
15:31Honestly, I really am.
15:33Yeah.
15:34Same.
15:35I just think you guys are very cute.
15:40Yeah.
15:41I think the agency have done a brilliant job.
15:43It's just happened when she wasn't expecting it to,
15:46and it's genuine, and she's just...
15:49It's great.
15:50So, well done.
15:52I feel like I've definitely got a seal of approval.
15:55That makes me feel really happy.
15:56And it means I can just see where this goes with Kerry going forward now.
15:59Ten out of ten.
16:00To see how Danielle approves, more so my Heidi as well.
16:05You know, to get their approval, it's everything.
16:09So I'm just trying to work out wedding dates.
16:12Yes.
16:13My summer's pretty busy, so can we make it October?
16:19Back down in London, it's time for the summer's biggest blockbuster.
16:23Forget Godzilla vs Kong.
16:25This is the beast vs an angry love guru.
16:30Oh shit, straight up to the main office.
16:32This must be bad.
16:33Come on in.
16:34Bow down the hatches.
16:36Hello there.
16:37Good to see you.
16:38At the brunch, Mark went full beast mode on the agents.
16:42We're looking forward to a third date away from your eyes
16:45so we can relax a little bit.
16:47We're not being the master strategist that you guys are,
16:50but let's face it, we're smarter than you,
16:52so just let us do our own thing.
16:55But P-Dog bit back like a yappy chihuahua.
16:58You know why you always insult us?
17:00Because your emotional intelligence is on zero.
17:02Sorry, but I'm nice to the people that count.
17:05You know, Mark, what I notice is that when you get nervous,
17:08you insult people.
17:10No, just you.
17:11You know, you want to be a teacher all the time,
17:13but be a damn student first.
17:15God, he's sexy when he's angry.
17:19Why exactly are you here?
17:20Are you here to tell you about this?
17:21I'm here to apologise.
17:23I'm really sorry I offended you.
17:25It was unprofessional of me.
17:26Okay.
17:27I knew I'd got it wrong straight away,
17:29and I'm sorry.
17:31Mark, I appreciate what you said.
17:35That apology, I don't accept.
17:38Oh, shit.
17:40While I commend Mark for coming in to apologise,
17:42I wouldn't be doing my job
17:44unless I helped him to manage complex emotional situations
17:48in the future.
17:49Do you know why I don't accept that apology?
17:52No.
17:53A textbook apology is to acknowledge
17:57exactly how you believe we felt in that moment.
18:01A true apology is I own it.
18:03I'm sorry for how I made you feel,
18:05and I take 100% of the responsibility.
18:08And here's how I plan to repair the damage that I caused.
18:13Right.
18:16I'm really sorry, Paul, I offended you.
18:19And I will try my utmost to be supportive
18:21and as helpful a co-worker as possible.
18:24I can accept that.
18:25Thank you, sir.
18:26I can accept that, Mark.
18:27Oh, thank fuck we're back on track.
18:28My bummer was flickering like a 40 street lamp.
18:31It is a bit like being in the headmaster's office
18:34like a naughty school kid, but he nailed it.
18:37I am not good at conflict resolution,
18:40so I'm realising my emotional control is not what it was
18:44and I'm slightly turning into my grandmother.
18:46Well, nice to meet you, Nana Beast.
18:48Good to see you smiling.
18:50We're going to hug it out.
18:51Let's hug it out, Mark.
18:52Oh, come on.
18:53Let's hug it out.
18:54Can I jump on your back?
18:55Jump on your what?
18:56It's a bit weird, isn't it?
18:57I can't jump on your back?
18:58What?
18:59OK, he's doing it.
19:00And he's done it.
19:01There we go.
19:02Oh, my God.
19:03Do you want to know the last person that I did this for?
19:05Who is that?
19:06Jerry Springer.
19:07I love Jerry Springer.
19:08We should get him on next series.
19:10What's that?
19:11Oh, fair enough.
19:12RIP.
19:13Yeah, there you go.
19:14You're in good company, mate.
19:15See you.
19:16Cheers.
19:17Well, that went well, Mark.
19:19Air all cleared and on with your day.
19:21Come in.
19:22Oh, fuck.
19:23I forgot you still had a consultation with these two to get through.
19:26Hello.
19:27Good morning, Mark.
19:28I'm happy to see you.
19:32I'm going to sit down.
19:33I do apologize unreservedly.
19:35I have nothing but respect for your professional abilities.
19:38I'm sorry.
19:39OK.
19:40No worries.
19:41One session in Paul's apology masterclass and the beasts are pro.
19:46Well, you've had a few dates with Deanne.
19:49The feedback, it's, you know, it's nice.
19:52It's nice and we've had a good time.
19:54But Deanne had mentioned that sparks aren't flying.
19:59And that she said, you know, at our age, this is like not common.
20:04I disagree.
20:05OK.
20:06And research would disagree as well.
20:09Mm.
20:10Because there's people at...
20:11Are you trying to put me off her?
20:12People in their 50s, people in their 60s, people in their 70s, people in their 80s.
20:16I know 19-year-olds that are bagging like rabbits.
20:18Yeah.
20:19Oh, 100%.
20:20When I visited my nan at her nursing home, it was like the last days of Rome.
20:24Just writhing limbs and Werther's originals everywhere.
20:27Well, that smell and taste will never leave me.
20:29What about on your side?
20:30You feeling any sparks?
20:31I'm feeling some, but I...
20:34I'm trusting the instinctual part of my brain, the non-calculating part of the brain.
20:40And I'm just going with the flow and it seems to be going quite nicely.
20:44Don't put yourselves in boxes, you know.
20:46It doesn't matter what age you are.
20:48Mark, this is the time to just...
20:5060 is the new affordability.
20:51Exactly.
20:52Cut loose and let go.
20:53Yeah.
20:54We're not saying you have to go and be, you know, having coquettish sex left, right and centre,
20:58but both of you have been open to the prospect that life doesn't finish just because of a number.
21:04Unless it's the number of kids you got, that's a one-way ticket to the shagging wilderness.
21:09Shit, they're coming thick and fast today.
21:12The next client to come and knock in is someone that hasn't been getting much action since joining the agency either.
21:18It's me.
21:20It's Donna Preston.
21:21Look at me go, look at me go. Look at me go, look at me go. Look at me go, look at me go.
21:26Look at me go, look at me go. Hell yeah, look up, we don't ever come down.
21:30It's me.
21:31Get in.
21:32Oh, I said.
21:33Oh, I said.
21:34Oh, I said.
21:36Chucky-coated.
21:37Double chocolate-coated, Tom.
21:39Just for you.
21:40Oh, outrageously chocolatey.
21:42With extra filling, you lucky boy, Thomas.
21:45Oh, I do so rejoice when Donna pops in. One can always depend on her for a cascade of aural titillation. She's an absolute symphony for the senses.
21:58I've just started experimenting with donkey milk.
22:02That's a quick way to ruin your Cheerios.
22:04What do you mean?
22:05In my hair.
22:07Really?
22:08Poor donkeys.
22:09I do feel bad for them, but at least they live.
22:11They're just being much milked.
22:13Well, stop pummeling their udders and use L'Oreal like everyone else.
22:16But that's okay, because they need milking, right?
22:18Yes, they need it.
22:19Top tip, never tell a breastfeeding mother that at 4am.
22:22I learnt the hard way.
22:23Upstairs, the Beast has been thoroughly milked dry of apologies and is facing the next step on his dating journey.
22:31You're at the celebrity dating agency, so you're going to be dating someone new.
22:36Someone new.
22:37Mark's having a lovely time with Deanne, and we're not knocking that, but we do want to introduce somebody new just to see if it can stir anything else up in the Beast.
22:46Well, providing she eats meat and loves a complex equation, who knows?
22:50Meet Josie.
22:52Okay.
22:53Do you want to hear her?
22:54Go on, then.
22:55Okay.
22:56Hi, Mark.
22:57I'm Josie from Hastings.
22:59I am looking for fun.
23:02Um, somebody can match my sense to humour, my energy, have new adventures together.
23:09I'm just looking for the real deal and to have some fun.
23:12There we go.
23:13Excellent.
23:14She's perky, isn't she?
23:15Sounds very perky.
23:16Yeah.
23:17This sounds like it's a different dynamic, a little bit more energetic.
23:21Yeah?
23:22Are you going to be open-minded going into it?
23:23Of course.
23:24Well, you are going to be going on a date playing darts with Josie.
23:29We think this is perfect for you because it is going to bring out the fun that Josie so clearly is looking forward to with you.
23:35Um, my ask is that you reframe mindset around age and expectations and some of the negative inner self-critic you have around that and just live and let live.
23:47Just go with the flow.
23:48I never thought I'd ever say this.
23:50Borrow a little bit of Louis.
23:51You know how Louis...
23:52There you go.
23:53Maybe embody a little Louis.
23:55Yeah.
23:56And just shag them both.
23:57Oh, Louis is...
23:58Louis being the playful puppy that he is, right?
24:00Yeah.
24:01We want you just to take a few of those characteristics of Louis into this date with Josie and let's see how we get on.
24:06I was going to ask, Mark, my question is, are you good at hitting the bull's eye?
24:10Well, as in the inner bull, yeah.
24:15No, Mark, she's talking about the G-spot or the clit or maybe the bum hole.
24:20Actually, I don't know either.
24:21Oh, well, Mark, we'll see you soon.
24:23See you soon, ladies.
24:24See you later on, Mark.
24:25Nice to see you.
24:26Bye, Mark.
24:27All right, big guy, better go get yourself date ready by binge-watching Louis across ten episodes of Too Hot To Handle.
24:33And I thought the donkey was having a bad day.
24:35Someone milk me.
24:40Oh, hi, nice to meet you tonight.
24:45Maybe we could...
24:46Welcome back to Celebs Go Day Inn, where after some chocky pics and milky mutter with Tom, Donna Preston is about to get pressed on her love life by two of the most impressive love studs in the biz, A&P.
24:58We could dance, we could dance all night.
25:01Hi, Donna.
25:03You two are so funny.
25:05Come on in, girl, come and sit down.
25:07Welcome.
25:08Hello, hello.
25:09We were just saying how much we bloody love you.
25:12Oh, God.
25:13You look incredible.
25:14Come on, kid.
25:15You look great.
25:16I love this blue on you, babe.
25:17Thanks, babe.
25:18You look gorgeous, babe.
25:19Things I want to do to you.
25:20This is...
25:21This is...
25:22Sorry.
25:23Join the queue, Donna.
25:24I've been in the line eight years and not even a sniff.
25:26So, it's good to see you.
25:28Brunch.
25:29I mean, that was a...
25:30That was a brunch, wasn't it?
25:31Yeah.
25:32Hello, hello.
25:33DJ Gazza had Donna spinning on their first date.
25:36Yeah, you look very, very good.
25:37Really?
25:38You look very, very good.
25:39Gary, stop it.
25:40You're making me go red.
25:42But after a revelation at brunch, she wanted to deck him.
25:46He ghosted you?
25:47Yes.
25:48I'm a grown-ass woman, babe.
25:49I've got my shit sorted.
25:50You should have just said, and it's fine.
25:53You were assertive.
25:54Mm.
25:55You expressed how important communication is.
25:59Yeah.
26:00And clarity in communication.
26:01And it also felt to me that you were also speaking from experience.
26:06Yeah, absolutely from experience.
26:08I mean, I've been in relationships.
26:10One broke down because of the lack of communication.
26:14One day out the blue, he just said, I'm not happy.
26:17I'm leaving.
26:18And I was like, oh, okay.
26:20What really got me, he said, I should have left four years ago.
26:27Because I haven't loved you for four years.
26:31How dare you waste my time?
26:34And I think this, for me, is key.
26:37You can't waste someone's time.
26:39You wasted four years of my life.
26:42You didn't love me.
26:44You didn't respect me.
26:45You didn't do...
26:46You didn't care.
26:47When you reflect back on that relationship, do you believe that there's anything that you
26:57could or should have done?
26:59It was what it was, but I put on weight.
27:02But that wasn't, you know, it was just weight.
27:06But that's when it really started going a little bit sour.
27:10It feels like you really haven't been your own cheerleader.
27:14No.
27:15In relationships at all.
27:16No.
27:17Because you feeling as though you were responsible for relationship demise
27:21because of how you look.
27:23Does that sound fair?
27:25Yeah.
27:26Hmm.
27:27Well, it sounds fair that it's your fault.
27:29I understand why he went off me, because I looked like a different person.
27:35Did he ever compliment you?
27:38Erm...
27:42Yeah, sometimes, whilst playing, you know, video games.
27:46Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:48Donna clearly holds a lot of her emotion in and puts up a big wall of defence.
27:52And she's clearly protecting what is, I think, a very broken heart.
27:56But if she truly does want to be open to finding love,
27:59she has to find a way to be more vulnerable.
28:02It's time for a few home truths.
28:05The association that you have created that somehow it's my fault,
28:09I changed, I gained weight, that wasn't on you.
28:12That relationship did not break down because of you, Donna.
28:15OK.
28:16OK?
28:17Yeah.
28:21As the agents make a breakthrough with Donna,
28:23another celebrity looking to make a breakthrough of his own is Louie,
28:26as he faces the challenge of cocktail making
28:29and making a decision on the first of his two brunch picks.
28:32Model and barmaid Alana.
28:34That's not her.
28:35That's a bloke.
28:36Hello.
28:37How are you?
28:38I'm Louie.
28:39I'm Rico.
28:40Nice to meet you, bro.
28:41Please, come around there.
28:42For today's date, I'm really excited.
28:44I want to go in there, get to know her.
28:46We're making some cocktails, so it should be cool.
28:48And, you know, I just want to have fun.
28:50Well, Alana's here now and it's hard to tell if she's in the mood for fun
28:55because she's too busy strutting her way into the gaff like the catwalk queen she is.
28:59To be fair, though, it's quite a long walk to the bar.
29:02She's a model and she's looking good.
29:06I feel like at this point, Louie needs to make his mind up.
29:09I feel like he's run through about three, four girls now.
29:12I'm going to say I haven't come yet.
29:14Say I haven't come yet.
29:15OK.
29:16All right.
29:17Yes.
29:18And it looks like Rico is about to become his next conquest.
29:20Hi.
29:21Welcome to the bar.
29:23Are you here?
29:24So today, we're going to be making cocktails.
29:25Oh, what a pranker.
29:27Alana looks incredible.
29:30Hopefully, the cocktail making is going to be a laugh.
29:33No sex on the beach for me, though.
29:35I'm going to be a good boy.
29:36It's called a zombie attack.
29:38And I'll show you how to make it.
29:40Put in rum blend.
29:41There we go with pineapple juice.
29:43Lime.
29:44So.
29:45What, no donkey milk?
29:47That looks like thrower.
29:49But like zombie thrower.
29:50And it'll still cost you 16 quid.
29:53Nice.
29:54Yeah.
29:55It's really nice.
29:56You guys want to try to make it now?
29:57Yeah.
29:58The rum first.
29:59Get that in.
30:00Get the goods in.
30:01Then pineapple juice.
30:02To get that salty taste out of your mouth.
30:04I think we eyeball this one.
30:07Pour that in.
30:09Yeah.
30:10There's the big bend shuffle.
30:13He's done that before.
30:14Cheers.
30:15That's a good cocktail.
30:16Yeah.
30:17What do you want?
30:18A medal, cockslinger?
30:19You're here to get to know a better member.
30:20How was the brunch for you?
30:21Yeah.
30:22How do you feel that I picked you and Harriet?
30:23Whoa.
30:24Straight in with the most awkward question.
30:25Interesting approach.
30:26Obviously, I don't really like being a choice.
30:27I feel like, especially with Harriet, I don't feel like it should be me.
30:33What makes you say that it should be you?
30:36Would be quite a shock if she was team Harriet, to be fair.
30:38I feel like I hold myself really high, and I've got a lot of goals and missions.
30:42I've got a lot of goals and missions and stuff.
30:45I don't think it should be any good at all.
30:47What?
30:48How are you?
30:49Absolutely.
30:50if she was team harriet to be fair i feel like i hold myself real high and i've got a lot of like
30:54goals and missions and stuff alongside you i think i'd be pretty pretty well would be pretty good
31:01i like alana but i don't really feel like i'm getting no flirty vibes i think she's kind of
31:07mad about the two girl thing yeah what's her problem yeah i mean it's good that we did
31:13finally get like a date alone me and you yeah obviously it's nice being here yeah
31:20what is important to you when you're with someone or like what you're looking for
31:24come on louie time to set out the store for any future mrs russell's i guess i want someone that's
31:31caring affectionate doesn't give me a headache is this a woman we're talking about or a
31:38hypoallergenic pillow obviously you get a lot of attention and then you need to make sure the
31:42girls kind of secure enough to not i think it's give you a headache basically it's hard
31:50i feel like the communication would just be the main thing i ain't i ain't too good at communicating
31:55ironically that's coming across loud and clear when i've been dating before yeah like the girls i'm
32:02sitting like i was seeing it was more just dragging them along a little bit i did like them but i couldn't
32:09commit i just i'm not in a position to commit oh god if i wanted to see a sales pitch this year i'd
32:15watch the apprentice well this is going well really putting the work in here louie
32:21over at hq though our agents are committed and putting in the graph with donna who's opening up
32:26about her relationship struggles there's been a lot of pain in your life important relationship
32:32utterly utterly utterly destroyed your trust yeah yeah it's it's it's just the basics we need in
32:40life isn't it just respect honesty and you know like we keep saying it's communication
32:47the session today has been a tricky one and speaking to anna and paul they've given me some
32:53great advice you know and it's it's just not okay that the way i was treated back then but going
32:59forward hopefully i can be stronger and the good news is if you're open to it we've got someone else
33:06for you yeah always open always open yeah you ready you ready here he is mike mikey boy okay
33:15mike here we go how'd you like to hear what mike sounds like my name's mike i'm 40 and i'm from
33:20liverpool i'm probably your typical average nerd i like my movies i like my tv shows i like my comics
33:27i'm a huge doctor who fan and in my spare time i love to build lego i've probably got far too many
33:32lego sets than a grown man should have but hey it's good fun honest opinion do you have anyone that
33:39isn't a virgin um there's a lot of things that he does that my ex does comics lego by the way i love
33:49lego's myself i'd be fine if you love lego for me that's not not my thing okay yeah so a comic book
34:01enthusiast who reminds her of her ex not your finest work agent mike is a brand new guy you've never met
34:08mike he's never met you and i think it's the association yeah that we need to try and get some
34:15perspective around okay i think and i hope that you don't fixate on preventing pain to the point
34:26where it robs you from your joy okay yeah i would hope that because you don't want to be hurt no one
34:32wants to be hurt no yeah but you have been hurt and so you say don't come in i don't want to be hurt
34:38so i'm going to prevent this pain but what you're doing in the moment is you're stealing the joy
34:44so let's not self-sabotage yeah let's lean into the joy this is all we're going to do is lean into
34:49the joy trust us if you can on this occasion just go and see what it's like with mike and then come
34:54back and report back okay okay good to see you and we'll see you later goodbye we'll see you bye
35:00okay goodbye goodbye goodbye see you dp my lovers goodbye that was definitely found out a lot more
35:07uh about donna and we needed to hear that yes i think it confirmed a lot of assumptions that we had
35:15about her uh and it makes it clear why she has had a bit of a challenge here at the agency undoubtedly a
35:22wonderful woman that has been very deeply hurt yes yeah but the biggest take home from all this is
35:27that paul is into lego did not see that coming but across town someone you always see and hear coming
35:34is the beast who's been told to channel his inner louis on a date with new lady josie
35:40so expect him to pull her the barmaid and the sound recordist then get yelled at by all three legend
35:46i'm really looking forward to this the date should be fun and his darts
35:52someone's excited about subtracting numbers from 500 on one there's every chance a new date might
35:58impress me i hope she does the advice i got from the agents for this date was relax and have fun so
36:04yes ma'am yes ma'am call marks perky tonight anyone would think he's going on a date with fanny schmeller
36:10what a woman well the big man's ready let's hope he hits the bullseye with josie i'm feeling quite
36:17excited about meeting mark yeah i would like a nice wine bar or a country pub you might want to manage
36:25those expectations given we're in camden would i kiss on the first date no i would kiss well if tom
36:33hardy's not here is he no oh no just this guy could i get a gin and tonic please luke large love
36:44has he just started the date without his actual date oh here she is hello hello nice to meet you
36:55wow a pleasure awkward hug lean on the bar kiss on the shoulder barge well have you been practicing
37:02that's a bit unfair i needed to it's been 10 years since i last played i've never thrown a dart
37:08can i take your coat you can smooth mark like it thank you and what drink would you like a glass
37:14of rose wine please is there a technique as such she's wasting no time is she mine's a wine pass me
37:21the arrows believe or not there is no such thing as a technique in darts it's whatever you feel
37:27comfortable yeah i'm not sure luke littler would agree on that
37:29it sounds close to the smell you've got a really nice perfume i'm not sure what it is but
37:37it's clinique oh here we go it's meant to have an untold effect on the male variety oh is it
37:43i'll tell you in a few minutes oh it's starting very well okay neither of us can play properly
37:49but she's fun and bubbly smells really nice and it's gone off to a great start i'm amazed i can hit the
37:56board what do you want to say oh don't blame the dart mark this is a grip oh mark that would have
38:12been a but never mind can we get some new grips for mark please stop trying to stitch him up with
38:16these joke grips mark it's your round well i think it is hello josie's loving it could be something in
38:23this same again i think so yeah some food well um i'm a strict vegetarian but whatever they've got
38:29yeah and mark's just lost all interest welcome back to celebs go dating where mark the beast labette
38:44has been confidently showing off his wrist action on a dark state with josie just a shame she's a vegetarian
38:49so you've got that and that why both have you not seen the size of him josie well i don't want to
38:57get hangry you won't like him when he's hangry just ask paul i like cheese so it's nice
39:05we have some win wensley down or whatever it is yards from cornwall dorset blue vinnie cheddar
39:11of course is just next county in death i like cheese somerset rather keep going mark nothing sexier
39:15than cheese facts so i can't cook mark if you want to get married i can't cook get married whoa but
39:21i'm brilliant at maths give me 244 times whatever hey 1900 hold on 244 times eight 1952. quick as a
39:35flash very good i'm very good at maths yeah numerical skills is one of the raw signs of intelligence yeah
39:42wow she could be in here quick do more sums 68 plus one my q is 151 so i'm just about a genius mine's
39:49149. see that's phenomenal don't get that she just made that up josie's fun and bubbly but i'm just
39:57starting to get the feeling she's trying a bit too hard how's the agency been for you as in dating
40:03they've been fantastic is that everyone i've met yourself they've all been wonderful there's been one or
40:09there's been one or two and they go they're not for me okay so but how many were for you
40:17well there's one i've seen twice now okay and you'll put it be where i've now got to make probably
40:23a big decision so oh just tell her not to come okay just tell her not to come mark there's no point is
40:29loving your confidence josie but i think mark's still reeling from the fake iq score shocker
40:34back with commitment phobe louie now whose date alana is probably wondering if she should have
40:41gone for the cardiff to london return ticket over the cheaper single what do you think like
40:47our vibe is like what are you sensing um i'm getting awkward like how do you feel
40:55what's it like between me and you like how would you say it is
41:03is he okay i don't know actually wow what a charmer well like are you attracted to me
41:10is it like how do you
41:15i feel like you're really hard to gauge like you're really hard to read yeah because i don't know
41:19what are you asking me it's obviously glad you picked me instead yeah but why did you why did
41:27you wanna because i was intrigued to see like how you are as a person yeah well i tried but i'm just
41:40not feeling it it's a shame because she's really nice but i think i need to pull the plaster off
41:46being at the agency yeah i feel like if i dated you like from the start maybe i'd maybe be a bit
41:53more like upbeat or excitable or whatever yeah there's no point like dragging something along
42:01it's probably better not to yeah like drag it and just because you are a lovely girl i'm glad like
42:07we've had a conversation because it's actually like yeah no i feel like way better because i'm just
42:13spilling that's good i'm glad you feel better i let a girl down gently i'm actually proud of myself
42:19pat on the back for me what a positive day yeah positive cheers cheers to understanding cheers to
42:26understanding wow i think louis actually done the decent thing oh it feels weird saying it out loud
42:32do you know what are you down to make some more cocktails before we go to be fair i would i would
42:37love to but i've got a train to catch and another ticket to buy oh you've got a train yeah okay well
42:44it was a lovely day was it thank you so much you make sure you get home yeah get your train
42:50appreciate you nice seeing you again yeah yeah see you later bye have fun on your train don't think
42:55about me too much oh my gosh i feel like louis came clear with his intentions and yeah it's clear to
43:03say that maybe we're not really for each other right now i don't think me and alana and again alana
43:10alana i don't think me and alana have a romantic spark i feel like yeah it's just more of a uh
43:17friend friendship connection i think yeah with a friend whose name you don't know
43:24over to a man with the names of two women in his head now as mark battles to put sweetheart diane out of
43:29his mind and keep up with his new match firecracker josey so how have you been getting on at the
43:35agency they clearly didn't have an iron he looks like he's just finished to shift to iceland you
43:41were meeting me you could have made an effort yeah that's true why didn't you because you think you
43:47think you're a celebrity and it didn't matter no it does matter okay fair enough what's your worst story
43:53on the dating site i don't do dating sites well i did it they're all weirdos so they'll talk to you
43:59and say something yeah lovely and then say what underwear you got on they're they're all the same
44:04yep you've got to admire the consistency of the british pervert you would never ask what underwear
44:08i had on would you because there's actually none on here thank you for that i was wondering where this
44:15was going to it was uh i think you're really sweet very kind i don't know really there's something
44:23very endearing about you well it's the like and i like that you're really crap at dot i shouldn't be
44:29but i am yeah well is there anything about me you'd like to add josie's definitely a firecracker
44:37but she's starting to stray close to the line where bubbly becomes irritating i'm afraid it's time to wrap
44:44up now it's been absolutely wonderful it's been lovely to meet you so would you like to see me
44:49again or don't you dare take a breath oh will it oh has my screen frozen or is he buffering you're
45:01great i think deanna's like slightly ahead of you i'm sorry i'm going to be brutally honest
45:06if i hadn't met deanna yes okay that is fair enough and it's been great really enjoyed this
45:14not this surely this is horrific but never say but after that so just say i've really enjoyed this
45:20but you just said but so she knows there's a bar oh god
45:26oh good luck mark once more with feeling please thank you very much but it's been
45:32wonderful thank you really enjoyed this i've enjoyed it cheers cheers cheers
45:36oh that carefree game of dart seems a long time ago did it she was nice but wasn't for me can i have
45:46another date with deanna please he's just a gentleman isn't he he had two dates with the lady before
45:52and he's got a connection with her that's fair enough what can i say he's honest he's sweet
45:59it went lost don't worry josey get yourself back on the dating apps loads of lovely fellas on there
46:03apparently tomorrow night sexy sexy sexy the beast gets busted the way he looked at my cleavage told me
46:15he was interested sam can't be trusted are we cheated i mean that's a big word
46:22and s club john's as keen as mustard you think you love jordan or is he
46:52so
46:53so
46:53so
46:55so
46:57so
46:59so
47:01so
47:03so
47:05so
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