- il y a 1 semaine
Louis C.K.: Sorry (2021) is a stand-up comedy special featuring the Emmy-winning comedian as he delivers sharp, observational humor in his signature style. Filmed live, the special highlights Louis C.K.’s unique perspective on everyday life, relationships, and the quirks of human behavior. With clever storytelling and witty punchlines, this comedy performance showcases the comedian’s return to the stage and his ability to connect with audiences through laughter.
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Louis CK Sorry, Louis CK Sorry 2021, Louis CK Sorry movie, Louis CK Sorry full movie, Louis CK Sorry film, Louis CK Sorry trailer, Louis CK comedy special, Louis CK stand up 2021, Louis CK live comedy, observational humor stand up, comedy show 2021, witty storytelling performance, Louis CK return to stage, sharp comedy film, Louis CK full comedy special, stand up comedian film, Louis CK Sorry cast, Louis CK Sorry scenes, Emmy winning comedian special, live comedy performance 2021
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00:00:00.com
00:00:30.com
00:01:00.com
00:01:30.com
00:01:59.com
00:02:08My favorite
00:02:13sex position
00:02:14.com
00:02:17My favorite sexual position
00:02:23is reverse cowgirl
00:02:26Mais je suis sur le top.
00:02:35Est-ce que vous picturez ça?
00:02:36C'est bon.
00:02:37C'est vraiment bon.
00:02:38N'obody gets pregnant.
00:02:39C'est un peu de fun.
00:02:42Je suis essayé de apprendre des choses de moi-même.
00:02:47Je suis essayé de faire des bâtiments.
00:02:49Je ne suis pas essayé de perdre du temps.
00:02:50Je suis juste intéressé dans la data.
00:02:52Et je me suis tiré.
00:02:56Je me suis un peu d'air en dehors une journée.
00:02:58En plus, je me suis le même en dehors quand je vais à l'oeuvre.
00:03:02Et je me suis en dehors deux pounds d'aportement.
00:03:06Je me suis en dehors deux lindes d'un de la journée.
00:03:07Et je me suis en dehors parce que je me suis en dehors de la journée.
00:03:12Je te fais une toute deux lindes d'un dans l'eau.
00:03:16Et je t'en au lit et je vais dormir.
00:03:22Parce que je ne veux pas dormir alone.
00:03:27Votre needs changent quand vous êtes âgé.
00:03:29En mon âge, c'est un grand pire de shit.
00:03:31C'est bon comme tout le monde.
00:03:37Je n'ai pas une fille, mais nous sommes en France.
00:03:41Elle est française.
00:03:42Elle est allée là-bas.
00:03:44Et nous n'avons pas pu voir les autres pour un mois
00:03:45parce que de la maladie.
00:03:47Je n'ai pas l'aide.
00:03:52C'est génial, c'est génial.
00:03:54Elle me donne des presents.
00:03:56C'est la même chose qu'elle me donne.
00:03:58Elle me donne des gifts.
00:03:59En la mail, je me donne des trucs d'elle chaque semaine.
00:04:02C'est un chocolat de France.
00:04:04Ou un shirt qu'elle me dit qu'elle voulait
00:04:05plutôt que des choses comme ça.
00:04:09Et parfois, elle me donne des trucs à faire de me.
00:04:11Parce qu'elle est un peu d'up.
00:04:12Donc, la dernière fois,
00:04:13elle me donne des petits panties.
00:04:16Et, oui, je me disais,
00:04:18c'est pas drôle.
00:04:20Parce que ces sont dans ma maison maintenant.
00:04:23Je ne peux pas faire de eux.
00:04:24C'est comme des nuits de waste.
00:04:26Je ne peux pas faire de eux.
00:04:28Parce que je ne peux pas avoir des petits panties
00:04:31dans ma garage avec des coffees et des gaffes.
00:04:35Et tous les solutions que je pense de
00:04:41me rendent worse.
00:04:41Comme si je mets une bague dans une autre bague.
00:04:45Et des layers de duct tape.
00:04:48Et des autres portes.
00:04:49Ou si je mets un café en la cuisse,
00:04:53et je mets une cuisse,
00:04:55et je mets un café en la nuit.
00:04:57Et je mets une cuisse dans le milieu de la nuit.
00:04:59ou si j'ai coupé en petits morceaux
00:05:05et j'ai mis un petit morceau
00:05:10chaque semaine dans un autre pays.
00:05:19J'ai essayé de m'aider,
00:05:20il m'aiderait,
00:05:21il m'aiderait,
00:05:22je m'aiderais,
00:05:24même si il y a une une mille chance
00:05:26je m'aiderais,
00:05:27je m'aiderais,
00:05:28je me suis fait en un petit morceau
00:05:29de la petite morceau.
00:05:33Donc, je me suis fait en train de faire
00:05:36les nuages,
00:05:37je me suis fait en train de faire
00:05:39les nuages.
00:05:41C'est la seule solution
00:05:43que je peux avoir.
00:05:44Je me suis fait en train de faire
00:05:45les jours.
00:05:47Et je les mets,
00:05:49et je les mets comme ça.
00:05:52Et je les mets comme ça.
00:05:55J'ai une mauvaise metre
00:05:56je m'aiderais.
00:05:59C'est tout,
00:06:00On les petits morceaux.
00:06:01Five, six, six, six, six, six...
00:06:04...
00:06:06Ici, les hommes,
00:06:07les vici à l'avenir,
00:06:08c'est que nous allons tenir
00:06:09à être m'aider dans le vieux.
00:06:10C'est à chaque gars.
00:06:11C'est à chaque gars'el de la faille,
00:06:12même si jamais vous n'aiderait,
00:06:14tout le gars sera comme
00:06:15ce que c'est.
00:06:16C'est à l'il de moi,
00:06:17je sais.
00:06:18C'est comme si vous êtes en peur de les sharks
00:06:21quand vous vivez dans le desert.
00:06:23Comme, je ne vais pas dans l'ocean, mais c'est pas pour ça.
00:06:26Parce que c'est un peur non basé dans la probabilité,
00:06:28mais dans le cas horrible, c'est si ça se fait.
00:06:31Parce que quand ils se trouvent un pedophile,
00:06:33holy fuck.
00:06:35Holy shit !
00:06:37C'est brutal, parce que nous sommes scared.
00:06:40Nous sommes donc scared de la pedophilia
00:06:42parce que c'est ici et ça ne va pas aller.
00:06:45C'est un fact.
00:06:45C'est pas comme il y a une finité.
00:06:48de pedophiles.
00:06:49Et nous avons la dernière une.
00:06:53Non, ça continue de se passer.
00:06:55Chaque génération, il y a plus.
00:06:57Il y a plus.
00:06:58Il y a plus de enfants.
00:06:59Et il y a plus de enfants.
00:07:00Il y a plus de enfants.
00:07:01Ils pourraient, vous savez.
00:07:04Ok, non, de course,
00:07:05non pour vous pour une certaine raison.
00:07:08Mais ils sont venus d'un endroit.
00:07:11Donc,
00:07:14il y a plus de enfants.
00:07:16Il y a plus de enfants.
00:07:19Il y a plus de enfants.
00:07:21Non c'est un vrai thought.
00:07:23Je comprends.
00:07:24C'est un peu l'uniffic.
00:07:25Vous ne pouvez pas mettre ça en un magnifique fridge.
00:07:32Ou sur votre screensaver à l'office.
00:07:38Il y a toujours des pedophiles.
00:07:44Hey, où est Jim? Il n'est pas à sa desk.
00:07:52Nous devons commencer par la réalité.
00:07:54Les solutions que nous avons aujourd'hui n'ont pas vraiment fonctionné.
00:07:56Nous attendons la solution pour la pedophilia.
00:07:58Nous attendons jusqu'à quelqu'un de 10,000 enfants,
00:08:01et nous demandons,
00:08:02« All right, vous, vous devez que ce soit.
00:08:04»
00:08:05C'est presque tout.
00:08:06Il n'y a pas de mesures pour éviter ça.
00:08:08None.
00:08:09Nous n'avons pas une politique pour éviter la pedophilia.
00:08:11Nous n'avons pas juste une street sign.
00:08:16Il n'y a pas de street sign pour tout.
00:08:18Il n'y a pas de hunting,
00:08:19il n'y a pas de spire,
00:08:20il n'y a pas de skate.
00:08:21Je n'ai jamais vu un «don't fuck a child » sign
00:08:23«I've been all over the world »
00:08:24«I've been all over the world »
00:08:25«Not even just a picture of a guy fucking a kid with a line through it »
00:08:28«So that it transcends language barriers »
00:08:33«I mean, try it »
00:08:36«You won't get most of them with the sign »
00:08:39«But even if one out of 50 of them is like »
00:08:43«Oh shit, I'm sorry »
00:08:44«I didn't know it was an issue »
00:08:45«That's money well spent »
00:08:47«There's things that might work »
00:08:53«And we don't even try them »
00:08:55«Like is anybody working on very realistic child sex dolls »
00:09:00«Okay, then let them fuck your kids forever »
00:09:03«If that's better »
00:09:04«I'm so sorry »
00:09:06«For suggesting something »
00:09:08«That might actually work »
00:09:09«Oh no »
00:09:11«Let them fuck both my sons »
00:09:13«But don't make a doll »
00:09:16«That would be distasteful »
00:09:26«The thing is that this »
00:09:27«I'm still talking about it »
00:09:28«This »
00:09:29«This problem »
00:09:31«We lose things »
00:09:32«Because we won't really face it »
00:09:34«You know »
00:09:35«That are important to us »
00:09:36«Like the Boy Scouts »
00:09:37«Boy Scouts »
00:09:38«Wonderful thing »
00:09:39«Being sued out of existence »
00:09:40«Because of all the kid fuckery »
00:09:41«That goes on »
00:09:44«And I know »
00:09:45«It's upsetting »
00:09:46«Because look »
00:09:47«Here's the thing »
00:09:48«The Boy Scouts »
00:09:49«It's a wonderful thing for kids »
00:09:50«They go to the woods »
00:09:51«They work together »
00:09:52«They learn skills »
00:09:53«They get in touch with nature »
00:09:54«What could it be better »
00:09:55«For a boy than that »
00:09:56«But some of those guys »
00:09:57«Want to fuck the kids »
00:09:58«I don't think »
00:09:59«They do it a lot »
00:10:00«It's not like »
00:10:01«There's just a shitload »
00:10:02«of »
00:10:03«Kids being fucked »
00:10:04«The Boy Scouts »
00:10:05«I think »
00:10:06«It's mostly »
00:10:07«That they find out »
00:10:08«That the guy wants to »
00:10:09«I don't actually know »
00:10:10«Though »
00:10:11«I don't »
00:10:12«Do you know »
00:10:13«Why I don't know »
00:10:14«Because I'm afraid »
00:10:15«to look it up »
00:10:16«I'll go to prison »
00:10:17«for typing it »
00:10:18«Into a »
00:10:19«Google »
00:10:20«How do you solve »
00:10:21«A problem »
00:10:22«If you're afraid »
00:10:23«to fucking »
00:10:24«Look it up »
00:10:25«How many Boy Scouts »
00:10:26«Get fucked »
00:10:27«on a »
00:10:28«Oh shit »
00:10:34«Every time »
00:10:35«I gotta tell my neighbors »
00:10:36«that I looked that up »
00:10:37«Oh shit »
00:10:38«Oh shit »
00:10:43«Here's what happens »
00:10:44«Every few years »
00:10:45«You find out »
00:10:46«There's some »
00:10:47«pedophile type »
00:10:48«people »
00:10:49«in the Boy Scouts »
00:10:50«And then »
00:10:51«They announce »
00:10:52«We got it »
00:10:53«We got them all »
00:10:54«We're good »
00:10:55«And then »
00:10:56«A year later »
00:10:57«Oh, there's »
00:10:58«A bunch more »
00:10:59«What's going »
00:11:00«on »
00:11:01«Here »
00:11:02«At some point »
00:11:03«You gotta wake up »
00:11:04«to the basic »
00:11:05«That the »
00:11:06«Maybe »
00:11:19«Maybe »
00:11:22«The people »
00:11:24«To give her kids »
00:11:25«These »
00:11:25«Wonderful«
00:11:26«Experiences »
00:11:27«But maybe that »
00:11:28«Maybe that's »
00:11:29«Maybe »
00:11:30«If you' »
00:11:30« bal del«
00:11:31«If »
00:11:32«You«
00:11:32«Let »
00:11:33« to done »
00:11:34Ils veulent tous les enfants en face.
00:11:37C'est pourquoi ils sont bon à ça.
00:11:39C'est ce qui fait qu'ils sont bon à ça.
00:11:41Je ne dis pas que tous les scouts masters sont pedophiles.
00:11:45Je peux pas dire que les bons sont.
00:11:47Je peux pas dire ça.
00:11:49Ça me semble bien.
00:11:52Je ne sais pas.
00:11:54Si tu as perdu tout le monde,
00:11:55juste te dire que les enfants ne veulent pas vous.
00:11:57Juste bien, s'il vous plaît.
00:11:58S'il vous plaît.
00:11:59S'il vous plaît.
00:11:59Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada.
00:12:02Take the contribution from where it comes.
00:12:05Michael Jackson,
00:12:06wonderful music,
00:12:08blessed us with wonderful music,
00:12:09did some other things too.
00:12:12What's worse?
00:12:14A pedophile who makes beautiful music
00:12:16or one that doesn't.
00:12:19This is the choices.
00:12:24No pedophiles is not on the menu.
00:12:29So how have y'all been enjoying
00:12:38living the way I already was
00:12:39for a couple of years
00:12:40before I all just did it?
00:12:45Welcome to my life.
00:12:48Can't work,
00:12:49can't go outside,
00:12:52can't show your face,
00:12:53gotta wash your groceries.
00:12:55because I got cum on the groceries.
00:13:04That's why I just,
00:13:05in my mind,
00:13:06that's what it means.
00:13:06Maybe that's what you were thinking.
00:13:07But I have a solution
00:13:12for the pandemic,
00:13:13by the way,
00:13:13for COVID.
00:13:14I have it.
00:13:14This is it.
00:13:15We test everybody,
00:13:16first of all.
00:13:17Now, every time we find somebody
00:13:18who has COVID,
00:13:19you kill them.
00:13:20That's it.
00:13:21That's the solution.
00:13:22You won't need another one
00:13:23after that one.
00:13:24That's the final one.
00:13:25It's been pretty amazing
00:13:32to be alive during this thing,
00:13:34during COVID,
00:13:34because you're not going
00:13:36to see this again.
00:13:37And wow,
00:13:37did we learn some shit.
00:13:39That's really,
00:13:39the things that teach you in life
00:13:41are things you never would have chosen
00:13:42to do for yourself.
00:13:44I mean,
00:13:44think about your life
00:13:45as far as it's been
00:13:47where you have the choices.
00:13:48Where you're like,
00:13:48I'm going to do this.
00:13:49I'm going to pursue this.
00:13:51It all goes to shit.
00:13:52Every bit of it.
00:13:53And even when it goes right,
00:13:54you're like,
00:13:54why don't I like it?
00:13:56It's what I wanted,
00:13:57but why don't I like it?
00:14:01Because it's your choice
00:14:02and your choices
00:14:03are based on fear
00:14:04and fucking just thin,
00:14:06stupid, shitty hopes.
00:14:08But when life just kicks you
00:14:10in the balls
00:14:11and you're like,
00:14:11oh, fuck,
00:14:12everything's different now.
00:14:13it shows you shit
00:14:16you wouldn't have looked at otherwise.
00:14:17That's the great joy in it.
00:14:19And what I thought
00:14:20was really interesting
00:14:21about COVID
00:14:22and still is,
00:14:24is that it's the first thing
00:14:25I've seen
00:14:26where everyone on earth
00:14:27had the same problem.
00:14:29Every human being on earth
00:14:31had the same problem.
00:14:33We never had that before.
00:14:34That's why we don't give a shit
00:14:35about each other.
00:14:36because you read like,
00:14:37oh, there's floods in Houston.
00:14:38You're like,
00:14:39fucking water.
00:14:40What is it?
00:14:40What's your problem?
00:14:41Floods.
00:14:42What is that?
00:14:42Just walk like this.
00:14:44What's,
00:14:44what,
00:14:44you can't handle some water?
00:14:46My basement floods?
00:14:48What the fuck?
00:14:48Who gives a shit?
00:14:50Like,
00:14:50he's on a canoe in the street.
00:14:51That looks like fun.
00:14:52Why is that an issue?
00:14:56There's fires in California.
00:14:57What?
00:14:58Blow it out.
00:15:00You fucking blow out a fire?
00:15:01Get the water from Houston
00:15:04and dump it on California
00:15:05so I can deal with it.
00:15:09But we all had the same problem.
00:15:12Every person from Zimbabwe
00:15:13to Tokyo
00:15:15to Newark
00:15:16to Honolulu,
00:15:19everybody was doing
00:15:19the same dumb shit.
00:15:21Every person
00:15:21had the same stupid
00:15:23fucking moment
00:15:24at the same,
00:15:25just trying to get the,
00:15:26the mask out of the well
00:15:28of your car door
00:15:29and trying to,
00:15:30I gotta go in Walgreens.
00:15:32Where's my fucking mask?
00:15:33We'll try to,
00:15:35it's got pistachio shells in it
00:15:37and pennies.
00:15:43Shit.
00:15:44I'm sure it's still effective.
00:15:51I actually like the masks
00:15:52because it just,
00:15:53everybody looked nice.
00:15:55Everybody did.
00:15:56Because it's just their eyes.
00:15:58Eyes are nice.
00:16:00You never hear somebody say,
00:16:01that guy's got gross eyes.
00:16:05It's really,
00:16:05we should hide these.
00:16:06We should keep the masks
00:16:07because this is disgusting.
00:16:08How do we just,
00:16:09with no shame,
00:16:10look inside my face.
00:16:14Spit at a tongue and teeth.
00:16:16It's fucking gross.
00:16:18Cover your mouth.
00:16:19Don't,
00:16:20I'd rather look at your asshole
00:16:21than your mouth.
00:16:22I really would.
00:16:23I'd rather stare
00:16:24into your asshole
00:16:25than glance at your mouth.
00:16:30Assholes aren't that bad.
00:16:31Not to look at.
00:16:33We don't like to think about assholes
00:16:35because like they're,
00:16:35you know,
00:16:35the shit and the farts
00:16:36and the diarrhea.
00:16:38But that's a small portion
00:16:40of their time.
00:16:40You ever really look
00:16:46at an asshole,
00:16:47you ever really look?
00:16:57Hmm.
00:16:58Once you see it,
00:16:59like in nature,
00:17:01it's just,
00:17:02it's a little,
00:17:03that's all.
00:17:05That's your asshole.
00:17:07It's like,
00:17:08you know what it is?
00:17:08it's just an aperture.
00:17:10That's all it is.
00:17:11That's your asshole.
00:17:12It's like a camera shutter.
00:17:13That's all it is.
00:17:15It's like the opening
00:17:16to the James Bond movies.
00:17:17That's what your asshole is.
00:17:27You ever go to lick
00:17:33somebody's asshole
00:17:33and there's a little guy
00:17:34with a gun in there?
00:17:38C'était pas mal.
00:17:42Mais c'était vraiment un intéressant social experiment, Covid,
00:17:47parce que tout le monde s'est dit la même chose.
00:17:50Le monde s'est dit la même chose.
00:17:52« Si vous allez un nécessairement, millions vont mourir. »
00:17:57Et beaucoup de nous disaient, « Oh, je vais aller. »
00:18:01« Je vais aller maintenant et beaucoup. »
00:18:07« Oui, et millions die. »
00:18:14C'est juste que nous sommes pas assez différents duelaire
00:18:16que vous ne pouvez pas te les interroi de les higues.
00:18:20Et ils ont dit « C'est où je m'appelle. Je m'appelle là, je m'appelle là-z.
00:18:24» Et nous nousachterons «z'appareil de petit sang, « n'y allez pas, je m'appelle i m'appelle. »
00:18:28« Enfin, je m'appelle je m'appelle, je m'appelle été, je m'appelle. »
00:18:30« Je m'appelle « Donc, je m'appelle, c'est juste une chose, c'est-ce que je m'appelle. »
00:18:33C'est ça, c'est ça, c'est ça.
00:19:03J'ai reçu avec une femme, elle était tellement belle, j'avais des problèmes de ne pas venir.
00:19:11Donc j'ai vu la face à 80 ans.
00:19:15Et puis je suis venu, immédiatement.
00:19:21Parce qu'elle est 92.
00:19:25Encore.
00:19:26Une chose que j'ai trouvé très intéressante, c'est que pendant la pandémie,
00:19:35beaucoup de gens vraiment aimaient counting les des personnes.
00:19:38C'est très populaire, c'est counting les des personnes et les dîtes.
00:19:43Do you know how many people, just a day, just a day,
00:19:49do you know how many people died of COVID-19?
00:19:53Just a day.
00:19:59When do, why, why, keeping a daily tally, we don't do, there's a lot of shit going on
00:20:05that we don't keep a daily tally of how many babies were dropped in a bucket of paint.
00:20:14And I look that up, I'm not kidding you, it's 30 a day, it's a real problem.
00:20:18I'm serious, a steady 30 babies a day are dropped in buckets of paint.
00:20:26It's not random, it's one guy that won't stop doing it.
00:20:29Yeah, we liked counting them, we liked counting the dead.
00:20:39And when it got really high, we don't know how to count them anymore.
00:20:41People trying to find different ways to express the number or take it in.
00:20:45Remember January?
00:20:47It was really, it was 3,000 people every day were dying of COVID.
00:20:50So people started saying this, this is 9-11 every day.
00:21:01This is literally 9-11 every day.
00:21:06When did we start measuring deaths in 9-11s?
00:21:11When did that become the new how many football fields long is it?
00:21:17For mass death.
00:21:18How many 9-11s was World War II?
00:21:20Can we look it up?
00:21:23I know the Holocaust was 2,000 9-11s.
00:21:289-11 wasn't that bad, it was just one.
00:21:34Only one 9-11 of people died on 9-11.
00:21:39That's like nobody died that day.
00:21:46See, it's all relative.
00:21:48Because then you have those, later, remember January was really bad.
00:21:51January was the worst.
00:21:52And then in April, March, April, we all felt better.
00:21:55Everybody's like, oh, it's way better now.
00:21:57It's way better.
00:21:58Way better than January.
00:22:00I looked it up, it was 1,500 people a day.
00:22:03And everybody's like, it's way better than January.
00:22:05Really?
00:22:05It's half of 9-11 every single day.
00:22:09But that's way better.
00:22:10That would be like if on 9-11, after the first tower went down,
00:22:14you're like, oh, that's not that bad.
00:22:20It's just one.
00:22:23Still got the other one.
00:22:24That's why they made two.
00:22:31It's okay.
00:22:32It's all right to make fun of 9-11.
00:22:34and it was a hoax.
00:22:41All right.
00:22:46Sorry.
00:22:47Anyway.
00:22:47Anyway.
00:22:47I thought I had COVID about three times.
00:22:59I'm one of those idiots.
00:23:00I was like, I think I have it.
00:23:03Can you feel?
00:23:06I'm bad with pain, too.
00:23:08Like the other day, I hit my elbow right on that spot
00:23:10where if I had a gun, I'd be dead now.
00:23:13You know, that's...
00:23:13I can't do pain.
00:23:15That's why I could never be a cop.
00:23:17I couldn't walk around with a gun right here.
00:23:19There's 50 things a day where I'd be like,
00:23:21fuck that.
00:23:22That ain't worth...
00:23:28That's my main problem, by the way,
00:23:30with the whole defund the police idea.
00:23:33What about people that want to commit suicide by cop?
00:23:35What about them?
00:23:40Anyway, we'll put a pin in that, but...
00:23:43We had a lot of protests in New York,
00:23:47and now we have protesters that just live here.
00:23:51They're not at a protest.
00:23:52They're just here.
00:23:54I saw a protester in Washington Square Park.
00:23:57She had green hair and dirty legs.
00:24:01And she's holding a little piece of cardboard,
00:24:03and it's with a sharpie.
00:24:05It said,
00:24:06abolish billionaires.
00:24:09She's just standing there.
00:24:14And I thought,
00:24:15I don't think that's going to do it.
00:24:17I don't know.
00:24:18It doesn't feel like that's going to result.
00:24:22And Jeff Bezos going,
00:24:24what's happening to me?
00:24:25Sadly,
00:24:29it's going to be okay for him.
00:24:33I thought it was good
00:24:34how young people got out there
00:24:36and they expressed themselves.
00:24:37They went out there to solve a lot of problems.
00:24:40Not all problems, but some of them.
00:24:42They went out there to stop discrimination.
00:24:45Not all discrimination.
00:24:47Just some of it,
00:24:48which is a weird form of discrimination.
00:24:50But there are groups.
00:24:53There are groups
00:24:54that are discriminated against
00:24:56who don't have any protesters
00:24:57or any people working for them.
00:24:59And we all discriminate against these people.
00:25:01Like, ugly people.
00:25:02Everybody discriminates against ugly people.
00:25:04They do.
00:25:04And it's awful.
00:25:05I mean,
00:25:05I'd rather be discriminated against
00:25:07for my race than for being ugly.
00:25:10Because you might not lose a job
00:25:11or a promotion,
00:25:12but nobody kisses you on the lips
00:25:13like your whole fucking life.
00:25:14Like, try that.
00:25:16This is what we say to ugly people.
00:25:18We don't like your face.
00:25:20We just don't like it.
00:25:21So no one's going to fall in love with you.
00:25:23And it's unanimous.
00:25:24Sorry.
00:25:26And we just expect ugly people
00:25:28to be like,
00:25:28Oh, no, I understand.
00:25:29I mean, sure.
00:25:31It's my head shape.
00:25:32It's no good for you.
00:25:33So I'll go without
00:25:36the things that matter in life.
00:25:40Also, overweight people.
00:25:41Overweight people deal with things
00:25:43that none of us deal with.
00:25:44Because I'm not overweight.
00:25:46There's people
00:25:47who are discriminated against
00:25:50because of their weight.
00:25:51I read a story once
00:25:52about a woman who's 600 pounds
00:25:55and she couldn't get medical care.
00:25:57Because everything she goes to the doctor,
00:25:59he just says it's because she's fat.
00:26:00Everything.
00:26:01She's like,
00:26:02My knees hurt.
00:26:02He's like,
00:26:03Yeah, my knees hurt.
00:26:03Just looking at you.
00:26:04What do you think was going to happen?
00:26:07She's like,
00:26:07I have chest pains.
00:26:08He says,
00:26:09Yeah, because your organs
00:26:10are overcapacity.
00:26:11So they're hurting.
00:26:12She's like,
00:26:14I got shot in the head.
00:26:15He's like,
00:26:15Yeah, because you're fucking fat.
00:26:16Somebody shot you in the fucking head
00:26:17because you're fat.
00:26:21It's a terrible story.
00:26:23Here's the worst part of the story.
00:26:24And this is true.
00:26:25This is true.
00:26:26She needed an MRI
00:26:27because she had something serious.
00:26:29She's 600 pounds.
00:26:30She doesn't fit in the machine.
00:26:33You know what they did?
00:26:34They sent her to the zoo.
00:26:36I'm not kidding.
00:26:36They sent her to the fucking zoo.
00:26:38That's what we do for fat people
00:26:43who need an MRI.
00:26:49Hey, here's your prescription.
00:26:51Go to the zoo.
00:26:54Yeah, that's where you should go.
00:26:57You should go to the zoo.
00:27:02By the way,
00:27:02you know how many fat people
00:27:03we have in this country?
00:27:04About 600 trillion billion
00:27:06thousands of them.
00:27:08You know how many trans people there are?
00:27:11About 38.
00:27:14But if you're trans
00:27:15and you need a restroom
00:27:16and it's awkward,
00:27:17we'll change every restroom.
00:27:18But if you're fat
00:27:19and you need an MRI,
00:27:21you go to the zoo,
00:27:22you fat bitch.
00:27:24Just go to the zoo.
00:27:29You go experience that today.
00:27:31What happens when she gets to the zoo?
00:27:40What actually fucking happens
00:27:43when she arrives at the zoo?
00:27:48Hi.
00:27:50Are you here to see the monkeys?
00:27:51No, I'm here for an MRI.
00:27:53Oh, shit.
00:27:57All right.
00:27:58Yeah.
00:27:59Uh-huh.
00:28:00Okay, just stand in the straw over here.
00:28:05Yeah.
00:28:05You're after the walrus who has lymphoma.
00:28:08By the way,
00:28:16why is there an MRI machine
00:28:17at the fucking zoo?
00:28:20Who was developing that
00:28:22instead of a fat human being MRI?
00:28:24Who's paying for this shit?
00:28:26You don't give an elephant
00:28:28a fucking magnetic resonance image test.
00:28:32What, are you fucking high?
00:28:33That's obscene.
00:28:36If an elephant is sick,
00:28:37you just listen.
00:28:38You do this thing.
00:28:46Mesa thinks she gonna die today.
00:28:50I'm saying this out of respect
00:28:52for elephants, by the way,
00:28:53because we're supposed to respect
00:28:54how they live.
00:28:55They don't fucking cure their diseases.
00:28:58This is not their culture.
00:28:59This is our word.
00:29:00Let's fix it.
00:29:01Oh, he's sick.
00:29:02That's not how elephants live.
00:29:04An elephant in the Serengeti
00:29:06isn't like,
00:29:06I have a lump.
00:29:07I have to see my oncologist.
00:29:13When an elephant gets cancer,
00:29:15he falls over,
00:29:16he takes his fucking turn
00:29:17and becomes food.
00:29:19You don't put an elephant
00:29:21in a state-of-the-art
00:29:22What if you find cancer?
00:29:27What, are you gonna give him
00:29:28chemotherapy?
00:29:30A skinny elephant
00:29:31with a pink baseball hat?
00:29:45Each day is a gift.
00:29:46I love animals.
00:29:58I do.
00:29:59I do.
00:29:59We have a weird relationship to animals.
00:30:02We name them
00:30:03and we play with them
00:30:04and we kill them
00:30:06and we eat them
00:30:07and we stuff them
00:30:08and we draw them.
00:30:10I have a dog.
00:30:12I love my dog
00:30:13but I don't know my dog.
00:30:14We've never had a conversation.
00:30:16Not one time.
00:30:17I talk
00:30:18and she just hears
00:30:19away and eats it.
00:30:19For the last days
00:30:20Papa Burke
00:30:37with the hand of the store.
00:30:37Number three.
00:30:37Je suis là, « Fuck you.
00:30:38Je ne sais pas ce qu'elle est pensée.
00:30:39Je ne sais pas ce qu'elle est pensée.
00:30:40Je ne sais pas ce qu'elle était pensée.
00:30:41Je ne sais pas ce qu'elle était pensée.
00:30:42Je suis vraiment aimé ce qu'elle était pensée.
00:30:43C'est ma biggest wish, peut-être, en vie,
00:30:45c'est que je sais que elle a pensée.
00:30:48Je sais qu'elle a des pensées.
00:30:49Je sais qu'elle a des pensées.
00:30:50Il n'y a pas de façon qu'elle est juste comme « Dog ».
00:30:53Il y a des choses qui sont en train de faire en ici.
00:30:55Je vois ça.
00:30:57Tu vois que votre chien fait un décision?
00:31:02Tu vois que votre chien fait un décision ?
00:31:04Je vais juste aller dans la rue et je vais regarder.
00:31:07Je vais aller ici.
00:31:16Pourquoi ?
00:31:17Please, tell me, pourquoi ?
00:31:24Je pense que mon chien pense que je suis insiste.
00:31:27Parce que je regarde ma vie dans ses yeux,
00:31:30comme je vais regarder TV pour 4 heures.
00:31:32Et, en ce point de vue de mon chien, je suis juste sitting là.
00:31:35Je suis sent en à côté.
00:31:38Pourquoi ?
00:31:40Pourquoi est-il y a-t'il est en là-t'il ?
00:31:42Oui, pourquoi est-il y a-t'il y a-t'il y a-t'il ?
00:31:46Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:32:16...my daughter died of leukemia.
00:32:19Hey, you're an empty nester.
00:32:28I miss it. I miss having little kids.
00:32:30I think about it all the time.
00:32:31I think about maybe adopting, you know?
00:32:33I could adopt a baby from a third-world country.
00:32:36That's a good thing to do,
00:32:37because you can just leave them outside.
00:32:38You don't have to...
00:32:45You know, it's interesting.
00:32:46We've been adopting babies
00:32:47from other countries in America for a long time.
00:32:49You know, other countries do it, too,
00:32:50but I live here, so I'll talk about that.
00:32:53It's an interesting thing.
00:32:54It's not a biological imperative
00:32:56to go get a baby from thousands of miles away,
00:32:58but we've been doing that in large numbers here
00:33:00for a long time,
00:33:01and not always for the same reasons.
00:33:03There's been different reasons why we've done it.
00:33:06In the early, like in the 70s when I grew up,
00:33:08sometimes you'd meet a couple
00:33:09who had an African baby that they brought
00:33:11because they're those kind of...
00:33:13You know, these kinds of people, you know?
00:33:16The kind of couples that hold hands
00:33:18when they announce things.
00:33:20You know those kind of people?
00:33:22They gather their friends,
00:33:23and they're like,
00:33:24we've decided.
00:33:26You know those...
00:33:28They have a farm table
00:33:30with a clay pot of honey on it.
00:33:33and their apple juice is cloudy.
00:33:37You know what I'm talking about?
00:33:39Those are the kind of people
00:33:40that make a trip to Zimbabwe
00:33:44and get a baby
00:33:44and name them Kevin
00:33:46and send them to Boston College, whatever.
00:33:51That was like the 70s and 80s.
00:33:52Then in the 90s,
00:33:53it became very popular with gay couples
00:33:55started to adopt babies from China
00:33:57because they want to have a baby,
00:33:59but they can't...
00:34:00They both have dicks.
00:34:01I don't know if you know that.
00:34:02Did you know that?
00:34:03Gay couples have two dicks,
00:34:06so they can't make a baby.
00:34:08You can try.
00:34:09You can...
00:34:10Just really fucking...
00:34:14You could...
00:34:14You could try to come into one dick
00:34:17with the other.
00:34:18Like, if you line up the dick holes,
00:34:21and you can come,
00:34:23and the sperm goes up this dick
00:34:25and down that one.
00:34:27And then the sperm gets to the balls,
00:34:30and they're like,
00:34:31what the fuck?
00:34:31Did we turn around
00:34:35because we're in the balls again?
00:34:42Whose balls are these?
00:34:43These aren't even his balls.
00:34:44Oh, he's gay.
00:34:49Fuck.
00:34:49All right.
00:34:50Okay.
00:34:51All right.
00:34:53Well, let's just swim around
00:34:54until we're dead.
00:34:58It's just the way it is.
00:34:59You're not going to...
00:35:00A baby will never come out
00:35:01of a penis.
00:35:03It's good.
00:35:04It's a good thing
00:35:05because it's hard for women.
00:35:07Imagine pushing a whole baby
00:35:10out of your penis dick hole.
00:35:13Even just a hand.
00:35:15Yeah.
00:35:19Anyway, so that's why
00:35:20gay couples adopt.
00:35:25That's why.
00:35:25And often from China
00:35:31because they make
00:35:33a lot of stuff there.
00:35:39So that was that.
00:35:40That was...
00:35:41The gay couples
00:35:41were adopting Chinese babies
00:35:43because they couldn't have babies.
00:35:45And then a lot of other couples
00:35:47started doing it more
00:35:49around the turn of the century.
00:35:51I used to live in Hollywood,
00:35:52which is a pretty awful place.
00:35:53and everybody there
00:35:55gets Chinese babies.
00:35:56It's very popular.
00:35:58They go because...
00:35:58And it's not because
00:35:59they can't have babies
00:36:00and it's not because
00:36:01they're trying to help
00:36:01somebody from far away.
00:36:02It's because they're just busy.
00:36:04They're busy.
00:36:05They want to have a baby,
00:36:06but they don't want
00:36:07to have a baby.
00:36:07You know what I mean?
00:36:08That thing where you
00:36:09can't have your baby
00:36:10and eat it too or whatever.
00:36:11I don't know how that works.
00:36:13They don't want to get pregnant
00:36:14is the point.
00:36:15So they go to China.
00:36:16They don't even go to China.
00:36:17They go to the airport
00:36:17and somebody from China
00:36:19meets them,
00:36:20gives them a baby.
00:36:21It's true.
00:36:22They just take it home
00:36:23and then they get
00:36:24a Jamaican nanny
00:36:25to watch their Chinese baby.
00:36:28And they go to cocktail parties.
00:36:29We have a Chinese baby.
00:36:30It's amazing.
00:36:32And meanwhile,
00:36:33the Chinese baby
00:36:34and the Jamaican nanny
00:36:35are just alone
00:36:36looking at each other
00:36:37like,
00:36:37what are we doing?
00:36:38What is this?
00:36:41Why can't either of us
00:36:43see our families?
00:36:44Why?
00:36:44what the fuck
00:36:47is the point of this?
00:36:52So yeah,
00:36:53I got with a dog
00:36:54and my kids are,
00:36:54and I just sit around
00:36:56and watch YouTube a lot.
00:36:57That's my favorite pastime.
00:37:03I was watching YouTube today.
00:37:05I was watching one of the ads
00:37:06that comes on
00:37:06before the video.
00:37:08I watch,
00:37:08I don't skip those.
00:37:09I think that's rude.
00:37:11It is.
00:37:12It's mean.
00:37:13Somebody worked hard
00:37:14on that ad.
00:37:15They trained a cheetah
00:37:17to run alongside
00:37:17a Jeep Cherokee.
00:37:21And you're at home like,
00:37:22three, two, one,
00:37:23fuck off.
00:37:26It's fucking mean.
00:37:27What if you made something,
00:37:28dick?
00:37:28Anyway,
00:37:32the ad was a PSA.
00:37:34It was a,
00:37:35um,
00:37:35an anti-smoking message.
00:37:37It was a Puerto Rican man
00:37:38with a hole in his throat.
00:37:40He was like,
00:37:41my father smoked.
00:37:43And my mother smoked.
00:37:48I wish I never smoked
00:37:50in my life.
00:37:53Please don't smoke cigarettes.
00:37:55They didn't sound very,
00:37:58very bad for you.
00:38:02First thought I had was,
00:38:04why does he still
00:38:05have an accent?
00:38:13It's coming out of,
00:38:15feels like if you
00:38:17bypass the mouth,
00:38:18you shouldn't have
00:38:21an accent anymore.
00:38:25Does the machine
00:38:25have a setting
00:38:27for Puerto Rican?
00:38:32Is that just how
00:38:33air sounds
00:38:33coming out of this guy?
00:38:34Does he fart
00:38:35with his accent?
00:38:37Señor, I'm farting.
00:38:45Anyway,
00:38:45after the ad,
00:38:46I watched the video
00:38:47that I was looking for,
00:38:48which was a scene
00:38:49from a movie.
00:38:50And it's a scene
00:38:51that I really hate.
00:38:52Every time I see it,
00:38:53it makes me angry,
00:38:53which is why I was
00:38:54looking for it
00:38:55on YouTube.
00:38:57And it's a movie I like.
00:38:59I actually like the movie.
00:39:00It's called
00:39:00Good Will Hunting.
00:39:01Remember Good Will Hunting?
00:39:02Of course, right?
00:39:04Matt Damon,
00:39:05great performance.
00:39:06He plays a very
00:39:07complicated young man
00:39:08wearing a tight t-shirt
00:39:10for a whole movie.
00:39:12And here's the thing.
00:39:13Here's my issue
00:39:14with Good Will Hunting.
00:39:15Matt Damon also
00:39:16wrote the movie, okay?
00:39:17So he basically sat down
00:39:19and he's like,
00:39:20first of all,
00:39:20I am amazing.
00:39:21I'm a construction worker.
00:39:27I'm like working class.
00:39:29And I drink beer
00:39:30and I get in fights.
00:39:31I get in so many fights.
00:39:35My friends are like,
00:39:36you're out of control, man.
00:39:37And I'm like,
00:39:38shut up.
00:39:38This is the way I am.
00:39:42But then also,
00:39:44I'm a genius.
00:39:47Ooh.
00:39:48I'm not,
00:39:49I didn't even go to school.
00:39:50I just know things.
00:39:51I don't know why.
00:39:52I just know them.
00:39:54And all the nerdy geniuses
00:39:56that studied for years
00:39:57are like,
00:39:57he's so much smarter than us.
00:40:00It's making us upset.
00:40:02It's insane.
00:40:04It's fucking insane.
00:40:07It only makes sense
00:40:08if he wrote it for himself
00:40:10to be the guy.
00:40:11So the scene I was looking for,
00:40:15it's the worst example
00:40:16of that in the movie.
00:40:17Here's what happens.
00:40:18He goes to a bar
00:40:19and he meets a woman
00:40:20and he likes her
00:40:22and another guy likes her too,
00:40:24but she picks Matt Damon
00:40:25because he wrote the fucking movie
00:40:27because he decided.
00:40:28You understand?
00:40:31She doesn't like him.
00:40:32She likes me.
00:40:33You better believe it.
00:40:34So he gets her phone number
00:40:39and then he goes outside
00:40:41and he sees the other guy
00:40:42in the window of a restaurant
00:40:44and he decides to taunt him.
00:40:46So he goes over,
00:40:47he tells his friends,
00:40:48hey, come here.
00:40:49Watch this.
00:40:51And he says to the guy,
00:40:52hey,
00:40:53do you like apples?
00:40:58And the guy says,
00:40:59yes.
00:41:00Yes.
00:41:00Yes.
00:41:04And Matt Damon goes,
00:41:05well, I got a number.
00:41:07How do you like them apples?
00:41:10And all Matt Damon's friends go,
00:41:12oh,
00:41:12oh,
00:41:14oh,
00:41:14this was amazing.
00:41:19Oh,
00:41:20oh,
00:41:22oh,
00:41:22oh,
00:41:22oh,
00:41:23my God.
00:41:25Oh,
00:41:25my God.
00:41:28You were ready with that.
00:41:31How?
00:41:34You know how he did it?
00:41:37He wrote the whole fucking movie,
00:41:39okay?
00:41:39He made everybody say all the things.
00:41:46Otherwise,
00:41:47this doesn't happen.
00:41:48I mean,
00:41:48he hinges the whole fucking prank
00:41:51on the guy liking apples.
00:41:53The guy must like apples.
00:41:56Who the fuck,
00:41:57who would say yes
00:41:58to do you like apples
00:42:02coming from a clear antagonist
00:42:05who's setting him up,
00:42:09gathered his friends.
00:42:15Do you like,
00:42:16wait,
00:42:17guys,
00:42:17watch this.
00:42:19Do you like apples?
00:42:24God damn it,
00:42:25I do.
00:42:25I wish I didn't.
00:42:32I can tell this is not going to go my way.
00:42:37But I just,
00:42:38I can't lie.
00:42:40He'll know it.
00:42:41He'll know it.
00:42:42Because boy,
00:42:43do I like apples.
00:42:46Do you understand?
00:42:47If he says no,
00:42:48Matt Damon is fucked.
00:42:50He's fucked in the face
00:42:52for life.
00:42:53He's got nothing.
00:42:56Do you like apples?
00:42:58No.
00:43:04What the fuck?
00:43:06Dude.
00:43:07Fucking guy.
00:43:08No, come on.
00:43:09Seriously.
00:43:09Seriously.
00:43:10You fucking,
00:43:11don't fucking,
00:43:11don't fucking.
00:43:18Do you,
00:43:18do you,
00:43:19do you like bananas?
00:43:20Do you,
00:43:23because I thought,
00:43:24because the woman gave me
00:43:25her telephone number
00:43:26and isn't that bananas?
00:43:39I saw a guy,
00:43:40I saw a guy peeling a banana
00:43:45the other day.
00:43:47That's another bananas.
00:43:48because you heard the other one
00:43:50ended with banana.
00:43:52Banana.
00:43:52I got three banana jokes,
00:43:53by the way.
00:43:54This is number two.
00:43:56Okay.
00:43:58I saw a guy peeling a banana
00:44:00on Sixth Avenue
00:44:00and it bothered me.
00:44:02And I'll tell you why.
00:44:03Because it's the way he,
00:44:04when I peel a banana,
00:44:05I hold it around here,
00:44:06I peel down to my hand.
00:44:09Right?
00:44:10This guy holds the banana
00:44:11at the bottom.
00:44:12and he just peels
00:44:15the whole thing
00:44:16all the way down.
00:44:21It felt like a guy
00:44:23at a urinal
00:44:23pulling his pants
00:44:24all the way
00:44:25to his ankles.
00:44:32I was like,
00:44:32dude,
00:44:33TMI with that banana
00:44:34right now.
00:44:35What are you,
00:44:35making a smoothie
00:44:36on Sixth Avenue?
00:44:37What are you doing?
00:44:37and the banana was like,
00:44:42hey.
00:44:46You don't even know
00:44:48how much you're going to eat.
00:44:53I have a bruise right here.
00:44:55I kind of got lost
00:45:06in the banana shame there.
00:45:11You want to hear
00:45:12the other banana one now?
00:45:14All right.
00:45:16Okay.
00:45:18So,
00:45:19I was at the grocery store
00:45:21and I needed bananas.
00:45:25So,
00:45:26I go over to where
00:45:28the bananas are
00:45:28and there's a black woman
00:45:30at the bananas.
00:45:32It's going to be okay.
00:45:35It's going to be okay,
00:45:36I swear.
00:45:40I understand.
00:45:43White people are very scared
00:45:44of discussing bananas
00:45:46and black people
00:45:46in the same conversation.
00:45:48I understand.
00:45:49If I have a black friend over,
00:45:50I would never offer him
00:45:51a banana.
00:45:51I just,
00:45:52I don't know why,
00:45:52I just wouldn't do it.
00:45:53Hey, you want a banana?
00:45:54Why the fuck you asking me?
00:45:55Hey, man,
00:45:56I'm sorry.
00:45:56Have an apple.
00:45:57I'm really sorry.
00:45:59These are just the facts
00:46:00of the case,
00:46:01all right?
00:46:02I was in the store
00:46:03looking for bananas
00:46:06and there was a black woman
00:46:07at the bananas
00:46:07and I wanted,
00:46:08I didn't want to go there
00:46:09while she's there
00:46:10because of COVID.
00:46:11We're all giving each other space.
00:46:13So,
00:46:14I,
00:46:14but I do want to be next.
00:46:16so I'm waiting
00:46:20and she's kind of
00:46:22taken a long time
00:46:23and the longer she takes,
00:46:26the longer I am a white man
00:46:28watching a black woman
00:46:31choose bananas.
00:46:36And this is an awful thing
00:46:37about the world today
00:46:38because I know
00:46:38I'm not doing anything wrong,
00:46:40but I feel fucking bad.
00:46:41I feel fucking bad.
00:46:46So I went to the strawberries
00:46:47and there's a fucking Jew
00:46:53with a strawberry.
00:47:02Here's a nice one.
00:47:03That's the Jew.
00:47:12I'm not going to do
00:47:12the black woman.
00:47:15No, I'm not.
00:47:15You know why?
00:47:16Because I'm not afraid of Jews.
00:47:17That's really,
00:47:18that's the bottom line.
00:47:21I'm not scared of Jews.
00:47:24I don't find Jews
00:47:25to be frightening.
00:47:27Unless you're in Palestine,
00:47:28then they're terrifying.
00:47:31It's very different.
00:47:33Over there,
00:47:36they're like,
00:47:36the Jews are killing us.
00:47:37And here we're like,
00:47:38really?
00:47:38The Jews?
00:47:46We've been slapping them
00:47:48around for years.
00:47:54Anyway.
00:47:58This banana is too hard.
00:48:03Well, this banana is soft,
00:48:06but I'm not going to have them
00:48:07until Tuesday,
00:48:08so I'm going to buy
00:48:10the hard one and wait.
00:48:12Just trying to be fair.
00:48:15Just trying to be fair
00:48:16to the Jews.
00:48:25Lord, have mercy.
00:48:26Anyway.
00:48:26Don't worry,
00:48:31I'm an old man.
00:48:32I'll be gone very soon.
00:48:35I worry about getting old
00:48:37only because I don't want
00:48:38to lose my memory,
00:48:39you know?
00:48:39I mean,
00:48:39some of it I would love
00:48:40to lose.
00:48:42But it doesn't work that way.
00:48:45You got to take it all
00:48:46or none, I guess.
00:48:47But I lose,
00:48:48I forget things,
00:48:49you know?
00:48:49Like, remember Fonzie
00:48:51from Happy Days?
00:48:52I don't remember him.
00:48:55I don't even know
00:48:55what you're talking about.
00:48:58I forget weird things,
00:48:59you know?
00:49:00Like, I was walking
00:49:01down the street once
00:49:02in New York,
00:49:02and there was a guy
00:49:04in a van,
00:49:04and he rolled down
00:49:05the window,
00:49:05and he said,
00:49:06hey, get in the van
00:49:07and suck my dick.
00:49:10And I said,
00:49:11all right, you know?
00:49:11So,
00:49:12I got in the van,
00:49:14and, you know,
00:49:16I was trying to pull
00:49:16the door,
00:49:17the sliding door,
00:49:18but it kept,
00:49:18and he's like,
00:49:19it just shuts.
00:49:20Don't,
00:49:20you don't have to.
00:49:20I was like,
00:49:22sorry.
00:49:22He's like,
00:49:22everybody does that.
00:49:23It's okay.
00:49:26So,
00:49:27I'm kneeling
00:49:27on the floor
00:49:28of the van
00:49:28on, like,
00:49:30a purse,
00:49:31and there's no lady
00:49:32in there,
00:49:32but I'm like,
00:49:33I came here
00:49:33to suck this guy's dick,
00:49:34not, like,
00:49:34take inventory.
00:49:36This is because it works.
00:49:37So,
00:49:37I start sucking his dick,
00:49:39and about halfway through,
00:49:41I'm guessing,
00:49:43I remembered
00:49:45that I don't really
00:49:47like doing that.
00:49:48It's a senior moment.
00:50:03Some people worry
00:50:04about getting old
00:50:05because they think
00:50:05it means that they're dying,
00:50:07which it does.
00:50:09But this doesn't worry me.
00:50:10I don't worry about dying
00:50:11because I think
00:50:12it's necessary.
00:50:13I think it's something
00:50:14that you just have to do.
00:50:15You should do it.
00:50:16It's,
00:50:16when it's your turn,
00:50:17you should do it.
00:50:18If somebody,
00:50:18you know,
00:50:18your doctor says
00:50:19you're dying,
00:50:20just say,
00:50:20okay, and die.
00:50:21Don't, you know,
00:50:22maybe a miracle.
00:50:23Fuck you.
00:50:23Get in the ground.
00:50:24Just take your turn.
00:50:25I really think that way now.
00:50:26I didn't used to.
00:50:28But I do
00:50:28because I,
00:50:29you know,
00:50:29when I started thinking
00:50:30that way
00:50:30was when my mom died.
00:50:31My mom died
00:50:32a couple years ago
00:50:33of anorexia.
00:50:35She was,
00:50:35uh,
00:50:36300 pounds.
00:50:36She was bad at it.
00:50:42I know,
00:50:42it was fucked up,
00:50:43right?
00:50:43Right?
00:50:43Right?
00:50:43Right?
00:50:43Right?
00:50:43Right?
00:50:44Right?
00:50:45Right?
00:50:45Right?
00:50:46Right?
00:50:47What a piece of shit.
00:50:53Anyway,
00:50:53she would have liked
00:50:54that joke.
00:50:55She would have,
00:50:56my mom's foot was fucking,
00:50:57she was gross.
00:51:00And I remember
00:51:00when she was dying,
00:51:02I was alone with her
00:51:03and the nurse said,
00:51:04this is imminent.
00:51:06I was like,
00:51:06what does that mean?
00:51:06She goes,
00:51:07it's in,
00:51:07she's gonna die in a minute.
00:51:09Like,
00:51:10just say in a minute.
00:51:12It's so close.
00:51:15Anyway,
00:51:15I was alone with her
00:51:16and she died.
00:51:17And I was like,
00:51:17fuck,
00:51:17they're gonna think
00:51:18I did it,
00:51:18obviously.
00:51:23I didn't want to lose my mom.
00:51:24I really didn't.
00:51:25But I,
00:51:25but we had this one conversation
00:51:27like two weeks before she died
00:51:28when we were talking about it.
00:51:29And I said,
00:51:30mom,
00:51:30I don't want you to die.
00:51:31And she said,
00:51:31you'll get over it.
00:51:32That's what she said.
00:51:36And I did.
00:51:38But in the moment,
00:51:39I wasn't willing to accept it.
00:51:40I was like,
00:51:41I don't want you to go.
00:51:42She said,
00:51:42but we're going in order.
00:51:43Do you understand?
00:51:44This makes sense.
00:51:45I'm your mother.
00:51:46I'm like,
00:51:46mom,
00:51:47stop talking like that.
00:51:48This is sad.
00:51:49She goes,
00:51:49no,
00:51:50it's not.
00:51:50Look at it this way.
00:51:51Do you want me to never die?
00:51:53I was like,
00:51:53no,
00:51:54I don't want that at all.
00:51:55And it helped me get in touch
00:51:59with an important idea,
00:52:01which is that dying is important.
00:52:03It's every generation's greatest contribution
00:52:05to history is that they die.
00:52:08It's the only thing that keeps things moving.
00:52:11It's the only reason there's any progress
00:52:14in the human race
00:52:14is that folks keep fucking dying.
00:52:17Every generation has had a mix of douchebags
00:52:20and amazing people
00:52:21and boring,
00:52:22great,
00:52:22good,
00:52:23whatever,
00:52:23but they're all fucking dead.
00:52:25Every fucking one.
00:52:26Thank God.
00:52:27They're all fucking dead.
00:52:29There's a limit to how much
00:52:31any of the good ones did
00:52:32and the shitty ones
00:52:33got to stop being shitty.
00:52:34It's a great system.
00:52:36Now when you look at the internet
00:52:37and all these people,
00:52:38you're like,
00:52:38what the fuck is happening?
00:52:40It's okay.
00:52:40They're all going.
00:52:41Every of them.
00:52:42All of them are going to die.
00:52:45I mean,
00:52:46you don't want to die.
00:52:48You don't want to die.
00:52:49You don't want your loved ones to die,
00:52:50but that's a selfish wish
00:52:51when you think about
00:52:52what would happen
00:52:53and if nobody died,
00:52:54what kind of world would this be
00:52:55if there was no dead,
00:52:56nobody,
00:52:56if we still had people here
00:52:58from the 1100s,
00:53:00it's hard enough
00:53:02having people here
00:53:02from the 50s.
00:53:05Just,
00:53:05sir,
00:53:05just scan the code
00:53:06on the table.
00:53:07There's no menu.
00:53:08What?
00:53:09I don't understand.
00:53:11Jesus Christ.
00:53:14You want to go through that
00:53:15with Pontius Pilate
00:53:16and Charlemagne?
00:53:19Fucking pain in the ass.
00:53:23Fucking old people
00:53:24that don't want to fucking,
00:53:25you just,
00:53:26when you get older
00:53:27and you start going,
00:53:28everything's so crazy now.
00:53:29No, it's fine.
00:53:30Just get the fuck out.
00:53:31It's great.
00:53:33They're not going to make it work for you.
00:53:35You're here for 10 more minutes.
00:53:36Just get the fuck out.
00:53:37If you're in an airport
00:53:41and you're looking at the toilet
00:53:42and you're like,
00:53:43I don't understand how this works.
00:53:45It's time for you to die.
00:53:46That's what that means.
00:53:49These toilets are for the next people.
00:53:50Get the fuck out.
00:53:55That's the way I look at my life now.
00:53:58I had some good.
00:53:59I had some bad,
00:54:00but I'm done.
00:54:00I mean,
00:54:00I'll hang around
00:54:01because I'm curious.
00:54:04But I'm so interested
00:54:05in the way things are going.
00:54:06I really am.
00:54:07It's such an interesting time.
00:54:08We're on a hinge.
00:54:09It's such a cool thing
00:54:10to experience that.
00:54:12I'm excited
00:54:12about a lot of what's coming.
00:54:14There's things that are hard now,
00:54:15but that's the way it is.
00:54:17Things are going to get,
00:54:17I think it's exciting
00:54:18what's happening.
00:54:19I think young people today
00:54:20have some great ideas.
00:54:21They're being a little cunty
00:54:22about some of them.
00:54:23But the ideas are good.
00:54:25The ideas are good.
00:54:27Like when I was growing up,
00:54:28we had two genders,
00:54:29male and female.
00:54:30Now you have all these
00:54:31expansion teams.
00:54:32I think it's very exciting.
00:54:34It is.
00:54:34And the best idea
00:54:37is this gender fluid thing.
00:54:39This is a great fucking idea.
00:54:41Gender fluid,
00:54:42the idea,
00:54:43the way I barely understand it
00:54:45is that you just,
00:54:47something in the middle.
00:54:48It's like a fretless bass.
00:54:49You don't have to be
00:54:50the specific pictures.
00:54:53What a dumb way to do it.
00:54:55These are the kinds of people
00:54:56you can be.
00:54:57Which one are you?
00:54:58I don't feel like any
00:55:00of those people.
00:55:00Then you're a failure.
00:55:02You have to fight.
00:55:03Start acting like these people
00:55:05so we know what to call you.
00:55:08Why?
00:55:09Just make it a,
00:55:10what, it's just a,
00:55:11what, just,
00:55:13a la carte.
00:55:14I like dicks.
00:55:15I don't like balls.
00:55:16I'm a,
00:55:17this and that.
00:55:19Moving through it,
00:55:20changing when it feels like it.
00:55:22I wish,
00:55:23what I'm saying is
00:55:24I wish we had that
00:55:25when I was a kid
00:55:25because I think
00:55:26our generation got hurt
00:55:28by the rigidity of identities
00:55:30and how you had to just
00:55:31stick to them.
00:55:32You had to pick one right away.
00:55:33You're eight years old.
00:55:34What are you?
00:55:34I'm a, I'm a boy.
00:55:36What do you like?
00:55:37Ooh, girls.
00:55:39Vaginas.
00:55:41Love vaginas.
00:55:42I'm eight years old.
00:55:43I never saw one,
00:55:44but I'm committing my life
00:55:47to them right now.
00:55:48I didn't even get to smell one
00:55:50for a second.
00:55:52Just a sniff.
00:55:54All right,
00:56:00what else you got?
00:56:11Ten years old.
00:56:12Are you gay?
00:56:12No, no, no.
00:56:13I hate dicks.
00:56:14Hate them.
00:56:16What did I know?
00:56:17I didn't even get to fidget
00:56:18with one for a minute.
00:56:24This banana's too hard.
00:56:33I'm not saying I wish
00:56:34I could have blown
00:56:35all my friends
00:56:36to see what it's like,
00:56:38but on 4th of July,
00:56:39there were fireworks.
00:56:40I was with Matt.
00:56:41There was a feeling.
00:56:42I don't know
00:56:42what could have happened.
00:56:44I have no idea
00:56:45because we were so scared.
00:56:48We were afraid to seem gay
00:56:51when I was a kid
00:56:52because in the 70s,
00:56:53the stereotypes showed you
00:56:54what everybody's like.
00:56:55Men are like this
00:56:56and then the women
00:56:57have to act like this
00:56:58and then gay people
00:57:00are like,
00:57:00they're just tired.
00:57:02That was gay people
00:57:02in the 70s.
00:57:03I'm gay.
00:57:05Oh, hell if I'm gay,
00:57:06I can't even do anything.
00:57:08That's what gay men
00:57:09were in the 70s.
00:57:10You ever meet a gay person?
00:57:11You don't fuck with gay people.
00:57:13Not today.
00:57:14They're all athletes,
00:57:15first of all.
00:57:16And they got their shit together.
00:57:18They're fucking,
00:57:19they're motherfuckers gay people.
00:57:22If your landlord's gay,
00:57:23they're billionaires.
00:57:24They own Apple.
00:57:25They're in the cabinet.
00:57:26They're in the Navy.
00:57:27They're cowboys and Indians
00:57:30and construction workers.
00:57:32Gay men are men.
00:57:32You ever go in a gay-owned business?
00:57:36He's like,
00:57:36can I help you?
00:57:38Like the gay's in there,
00:57:39but he's fucking tough now.
00:57:41It's my story, motherfucker.
00:57:42What do you want?
00:57:45Gay men are men now.
00:57:47They're fathers.
00:57:48They're husbands.
00:57:49They're men.
00:57:50Today's heterosexual men
00:57:52are faggots.
00:57:53I don't know how that happened.
00:57:57But they're fags.
00:58:00I'm saying that with love
00:58:01and there's an old man
00:58:03on his way out the door,
00:58:04but they're fucking fags.
00:58:06They're intelligent
00:58:07and they're evolved,
00:58:08but they're fags.
00:58:09They're just with a pajama shorts
00:58:10and they're just pale,
00:58:12almost blue.
00:58:16My wife got a promotion today.
00:58:18Oh, good for you, faggot.
00:58:19I'm so happy.
00:58:20I am.
00:58:21I'm happy for them.
00:58:22Sounds like they have a good life together.
00:58:27But it takes some getting used to for me.
00:58:29And when I see a progressive young couple,
00:58:31I always want to stop them
00:58:32and ask her,
00:58:32is that turning you on?
00:58:33Please tell me.
00:58:34Is that sexy?
00:58:36He gets with a tin man's hand pipe,
00:58:39just strawberry smoke.
00:58:45She's like,
00:58:45well, he's very intelligent
00:58:47and he's conscientious.
00:58:48But does he make your pussy wet?
00:58:49Fuck no, he's a fag.
00:58:51But I love him.
00:58:54And again, great.
00:58:55It's another kind of dude.
00:58:57Faggy, straight dude.
00:58:58It's another kind of guy.
00:59:00Welcome.
00:59:02We should have all of it.
00:59:03The whole spectrum,
00:59:05the whole alphabet,
00:59:06all of it.
00:59:07But somebody does have to be
00:59:08just straight fucking.
00:59:10You have to have that.
00:59:11It doesn't have to be the most important,
00:59:13but you do need it
00:59:14because it's where
00:59:14it all fucking comes from.
00:59:16Until they figure out
00:59:17some other shit,
00:59:18this is where life still starts.
00:59:19If you want to eat local
00:59:21and organic,
00:59:23you got to respect
00:59:24that someone's got to have
00:59:26a hard dick fucking a pussy.
00:59:28That's where every trans,
00:59:31every gay person came
00:59:32from two boring,
00:59:35straight people fucking.
00:59:36I mean, that's just,
00:59:37for now,
00:59:39it's someone needs that.
00:59:41You could know
00:59:41with an original dick,
00:59:42not a turned inside out pussy
00:59:44wrapped in thigh flesh,
00:59:46which is wonderful.
00:59:48Wonderful.
00:59:49You got to respect that.
00:59:51You do.
00:59:52Somebody who wants
00:59:52to be themselves so bad,
00:59:53they rip their balls off.
00:59:54That takes balls to do that.
00:59:56It does.
00:59:58Fucking respect.
01:00:00But someone's got to have
01:00:01a factory dick
01:00:03with matching numbers
01:00:06fucking a wet,
01:00:09farm-raised pussy.
01:00:11Thank you very much.
01:00:16Good night, everybody.
01:00:17Thank you.
01:00:21Oh, you never turned around
01:00:24to see the frowns
01:00:25on the juggles and the clowns
01:00:26when they all did
01:00:27tricks for you.
01:00:32Never understood
01:00:33that it ain't no good.
01:00:35You shouldn't let other people
01:00:36get your kicks for you.
01:00:39You used to ride on a prune horse
01:00:45with your diplomat
01:00:47Who carried on his shoulder
01:00:49a Siamese cat
01:00:52Ain't it hard
01:00:54when you discover that
01:00:56He really wasn't
01:01:00Well, it said
01:01:01After he took from you
01:01:05Everything
01:01:06He could be yours
01:01:09How does it feel?
01:01:12How does it feel?
01:01:16How does it feel?
01:01:21To have you on your own
01:01:23With no direction home
Recommandations
1:00:21
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À suivre
34:50
1:41:41
1:51:15
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59:58
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52:35
10:32
1:30
2:05
18:40
20:40
15:55
0:30
2:20:00
1:51:50
1:40:19
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