Malibus Most Wanted (2003) Full Movie HD

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Malibu’s Most Wanted (2003) is a comedy about a wealthy young man who tries to immerse himself in a world far removed from his privileged life. Through humorous situations, outrageous antics, and surprising encounters, he learns valuable lessons about identity, friendship, and self-discovery. With a fun cast and over-the-top comedy, the film delivers laughs while exploring themes of personal growth and understanding.  Malibus Most Wanted, Malibus Most Wanted 2003, Malibus Most Wanted full movie, comedy film 2003, over-the-top comedy, humorous movie 2003, identity and self-discovery film, Malibus Most Wanted cast, family-friendly comedy 2003, funny adventure movie, Malibu setting film, lighthearted comedy 2003, comedic antics movie, character-driven comedy, entertaining 2000s movie, Malibus Most Wanted story, modern comedy film, friendship and growth movie, quirky comedy 2003, upbeat comedy film

Transcript

00:00:00Yo, I go by the name of Pharrell, from the Neptunes, and I just want to let y'all know, the world is about to feel, something that they never felt before.

00:00:20Growing up in the streets ain't no joke, there's crazy crime, drug, and mad violence, yeah the streets is tough, but there ain't no streets tougher than mine, the streets of Malibu.

00:00:47It's hardcore up in the boot, y'all, but it's just part of the everyday struggle. Things go down here, people should never see. We got bag ladies, big ballers, everybody strapped with a nine.

00:01:05This is my ghetto, the mall. Most of the time the police won't even come through. We got all sources sets up in here. We got the beach boys, the ACC's, the abused children of celebrities, and this is my crew.

00:01:26That's my boy Moka. That brother's straight up crazy. He did time in public school.

00:01:33That there's Haji. He's the beast from the Middle East. And that's Monster. She had a big chip on her shoulder, till she ate it.

00:01:44Hey, that's me. B-Rad-G. I run things around here. Now sometimes busses be disrespecting you. And you can't punk out, no matter what the devil may bring.

00:02:02Hey, yo, fool. We about to have some hardcore drama go down right about now.

00:02:07That's right. This is our mall. Always has been, always will be.

00:02:12Oh, Mr. Marislani, our clerk accidentally gave you the wrong aromatherapy candles. Here you go.

00:02:21You validate parking? Of course, sir. That's what I'm talking about. We get ours.

00:02:31That's my crib. It ain't much, but it's all I got. That's my pops, Bill Gluckman. He getting his campaign on.

00:02:48I got mad love for the man. But he's old school. He needs to bring his word to the streets. That's why I come in.

00:02:56You see, friends, California is my family.

00:03:05And speaking of family, I want to introduce my wife, Bess. And my daughter, little Brenda.

00:03:13Where's your son, Brad? Yes, sir. Where is he? I... It's... He's...

00:03:18Oh, thank you for your questions. Unfortunately, we are out of time for today.

00:03:22What's up, y'all? This is B-Rad G kicking in from Booth. Representing...

00:03:29Hi, Paz. It's me. B-Rad. Hi, Brad.

00:03:32Hi, Paz. It's me. B-Rad. Hi, Brad.

00:03:33We all gathered here on the special occasion to listen to my popsies, U.S. Coast Liaison. A down-ass candidate. So easy to pick.

00:03:53I'll kiss chat or I'm gonna get sick. It's the wild, wild west up here in these streets. And I'm a cowboy pimp when I get between the sheets.

00:04:00I got the sallies with the biggest heinies in my stable. I want to ride them, boy, but sometimes I'm not able.

00:04:05I kiss them on the neck. I kiss them on the mouth. I move downtown till I go to the dirty sand.

00:04:10Show's over. That's it. Show's over. See that? I know how to get the party started. And I know my pops was loving it.

00:04:21Oh, it's a disaster. I talked to the Times and the Chronicle, and they're both gonna run it as a big joke.

00:04:26Oh, thank God. When the hell did this happen? I have no idea. I didn't even know it was in town.

00:04:31Oh, for God's sake. We can't keep tabs on this kid. Can anybody tell me where this boy is?

00:04:35Hey, you know what? That was off the hinges. I just got you another million votes right there.

00:04:42What you doing here, son?

00:04:44Uh, uh, well, I knew I had to show up in order for you to blow up.

00:04:50So I called up Captain Tony, he fired up the layer, jizzy, and boom, y'all, I'm in the hizzy.

00:04:56I'm gonna be on the campaign, Trizzy, too, 24-7. You know, kissing babies and whatnot. Pound it.

00:05:05Yeah, all good. Tom, you down, you guys. Okay, I do. I'll let y'all do your campaign thing.

00:05:11What up, Greg?

00:05:12Oh, yeah.

00:05:14Oh, Bill.

00:05:17You need to shut this down. You need to tell your son that he cannot be in your campaign period.

00:05:22Oh, no, wait a minute. I love his enthusiasm. I mean, it's a little misguided, but, uh...

00:05:27I mean, isn't there something he can do for the campaign where he can't hurt us?

00:05:31No.

00:05:32Um, phones?

00:05:34No, no, no, no, no.

00:05:35No, no, no.

00:05:36You know, stuffing envelopes, making signs?

00:05:40Signs?

00:05:42In Bill Gluckman's administration, women are going to have better health care.

00:05:47Women are going to have better day care. And women will have better jobs. In fact, after today, my campaign has a new slogan.

00:06:03Bill Gluckman is down with the bitches in the hoes.

00:06:18It was supposed to have read, women are first with Gluckman.

00:06:22Nah, nah. That's old school, Pops. You need to keep your pimp hands strong.

00:06:28Mmm.

00:06:32So, Bradley.

00:06:33Yo, why you keep calling me that?

00:06:36Well, that's your... that's your name, isn't it?

00:06:39It's my slave name, all right? I told you like 50 times.

00:06:44Okay. B-Rad.

00:06:48What's up?

00:06:50What are your goals, B-Rad? What do you want out of life?

00:06:53To be the biggest rapper there ever was.

00:06:56You see, Doc? I got something to say. And I need the world to hear it.

00:07:02I'm a lyricologist. I can rap about anything.

00:07:06Shrink, shrink, blinkity blink. Try to make me think.

00:07:10Want to go to my sink and vomit. Clean it up with common.

00:07:13Earth is my planet.

00:07:17Mm-hmm.

00:07:19See, I'm a shiznit. I buy your cars.

00:07:25I see.

00:07:27When did you first start feeling like you were this shiznit?

00:07:33Aw, damn.

00:07:35Way back in the day.

00:07:37I had these beats in my head since I was a little shy.

00:07:41It's a pity, but we just can't hide.

00:07:42Tinted windows don't mean nothing. They don't lose inside.

00:07:44It's tricky to rock around, to rock around. That's right.

00:07:46From dinner on in, it was hip-hop 24-7.

00:07:49As I was growing up, my parents and me couldn't communicate.

00:07:53Cause they were always on different channels.

00:07:54Finish those vegetables, Bradley.

00:07:55Mmm, they smell good.

00:07:56And you're not gonna be excused until you do.

00:07:57Tsh, forget y'all.

00:07:58Well, that's it, mister.

00:07:59All across the land, there's no need to argue.

00:08:02Parents just don't understand.

00:08:04What I'm sensing, Brad, is that your parents weren't always there for you.

00:08:05No.

00:08:06That's ridiculous.

00:08:08Yeah, what about your bar mitzvah?

00:08:10What about your bar mitzvah?

00:08:12What about your bar mitzvah?

00:08:14What I'm sensing, Brad, is that your parents weren't always there for you.

00:08:30No.

00:08:31That's ridiculous.

00:08:32Yeah, what about your bar mitzvah?

00:08:34Hey, Brad, what's the theme of your bar mitzvah?

00:08:38Star Wars, baseball, super heroes?

00:08:43It's OPP, bitch!

00:08:45What?

00:08:46Get out with OPP.

00:08:47Yeah, you know me.

00:08:48Get out with OPP.

00:08:49Yeah, you know me.

00:08:50Get out with OPP.

00:08:51Yeah, you know me.

00:08:52Get out with OPP.

00:08:53Yeah, you know me.

00:08:54Get out with OPP.

00:08:55Yeah, you know me.

00:08:56Who's down with OPP?

00:08:57Every last hour.

00:08:58Get out with OPP.

00:08:59Bess, I think you want to share.

00:09:06B-Rad, you're a wonderful son.

00:09:08It's just that, well...

00:09:14Bess, Bess, let's not beat around the bush.

00:09:17Brad, honey, your behavior has become an embarrassment to the family.

00:09:22Don't be hating.

00:09:24And I'm afraid I can't have you on the campaign anymore.

00:09:27What?

00:09:28Oh, that's how it is?

00:09:29You done it now?

00:09:31Y'all just opened up a big can of tough love.

00:09:38What can we do, doctor?

00:09:40I don't know.

00:09:43This is the most advanced case of gangstaphrenia I've ever seen.

00:09:48Where's the red here?

00:09:50Bill!

00:09:51Hey, Bill.

00:09:53How'd it go with Dr. Feldman?

00:09:54Oh, it went great.

00:09:55He says if he sees Brad five times a week for the next three or four years, we should see some real improvement.

00:10:00But, sir, the election is eight weeks away.

00:10:04Right, good point.

00:10:05Yeah, but it's okay.

00:10:06It's okay.

00:10:06We've been brainstorming some different approaches here, and I think we might have something pretty solid.

00:10:10Well, I'm all ears.

00:10:12Go.

00:10:13Okay.

00:10:13Okay, sir.

00:10:15Brad acts ghetto, right?

00:10:18But let's face it, he's never been east of Beverly Hills.

00:10:21But what if we give him a little dose of reality?

00:10:24Let him get a first-hand look at the ghetto.

00:10:26You mean have Brad actually go there?

00:10:28Exactly.

00:10:29Oh, that's...

00:10:30See, now that sounds dangerous.

00:10:31No, no, no, no.

00:10:32Perfectly safe.

00:10:34Well, how's it work?

00:10:34We hire actors to play gangstas.

00:10:37Right, right, right, right.

00:10:38They will carjack Brad, and then they will take him on a tour around the hood.

00:10:42You know, it'll give him a little taste of what the thug life is really like.

00:10:44It might just scare the black at him.

00:10:47Excuse me?

00:10:48Ooh.

00:10:50Hey, don't you have something to do?

00:10:53No.

00:10:55Enough the PC.

00:10:56Fact is, unless we do something now, Brad is going to cost us this election.

00:11:00Who would play the gangsters?

00:11:02Remember the anti-crime spot we shot a month ago?

00:11:04We've got that queued up.

00:11:06Yes, we do.

00:11:07Over here, please.

00:11:09For too long, street violence has torn Californians apart.

00:11:13Bill Gluckman wants to put our divisions behind us.

00:11:17Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:11:18Hey, instead of thinking about what set you're from, or what crew you're rolling with,

00:11:23why don't you both be brothers?

00:11:26What do you say?

00:11:27Your hair looks great.

00:11:30I never thought of it like that.

00:11:32Shake hands.

00:11:35You see, California is my family.

00:11:41If we all work together as a family, there's no telling how high we can go.

00:11:55That's beautiful.

00:11:56These are the guys.

00:11:57These are our two men we're talking about.

00:11:59All right.

00:12:00Hold the phone, buddy.

00:12:01Let me get this straight.

00:12:02You want us to take this kid and scare him into acting like a little white boy again?

00:12:06Now, if you don't think you can handle it, then...

00:12:08Oh, of course we can handle it.

00:12:10I'm from Juilliard, for Christ's sake.

00:12:12I'm from the Pasadena Playhouse.

00:12:15Good.

00:12:17I have some background information on our dear boy, Brad.

00:12:20Materials.

00:12:23Malaboo-tay?

00:12:25Yes, he considers himself a rapper of sorts.

00:12:28What?

00:12:29Oh, friggin' A.

00:12:31Now, here's the story.

00:12:32It is your basic kidnapping.

00:12:33All right.

00:12:33Now, by kidnapping, you mean we hold him for ransom?

00:12:36Oh, good question.

00:12:38Right.

00:12:40Now, when you see him start to get ghetto and do his whole black thing, yes, that, that,

00:12:47I want it to piss you off.

00:12:48Tour him around the hood, around the ghetto, if you will, and show him what it's really like.

00:12:55In the ghetto?

00:12:56Pay $15,000 apiece, son.

00:12:59We're in.

00:13:00Good.

00:13:00Now, on the flip side.

00:13:02Flip it.

00:13:03If you two screw up, and a single hair is touched on Bradley's overprivileged head,

00:13:08I will see to it personally that you two do some serious time.

00:13:12Are we clear?

00:13:13Oh, we are crystal.

00:13:16I like that.

00:13:21Yeah.

00:13:23Oh, Mr. Gibbons.

00:13:26What about the money?

00:13:27Ooh.

00:13:27We have five up front, and twenty-five when you return him to us, white.

00:13:36Oh, as the driven snow.

00:13:39Pleasure doing business with you, gentlemen.

00:13:41Let me get that for you, sir.

00:13:42I'll call you.

00:13:44Or better yet, I'll holler.

00:13:47We'll holler back.

00:13:48Holler back, player.

00:13:51All right.

00:13:52Wow.

00:13:54Congratulations, buddy.

00:13:55We just booked another gig.

00:13:56Listen, not so fast.

00:13:57This is dangerous stuff, all right?

00:13:59This is the ghetto.

00:14:00We could get shot.

00:14:01Come on, man.

00:14:02We can handle ourselves.

00:14:04Right?

00:14:05Hey, hey, hey.

00:14:06This will be the ultimate acting challenge.

00:14:12You know what really chaps my ass?

00:14:14What?

00:14:15After all of our years of training and studying, they continue to give us parts that are gangbangers.

00:14:21Just once, I'd like to play a role.

00:14:24Someone who speaks with proper grammar and doesn't have to wear those disgusting timberlands with the laces undone.

00:14:30It's so sloppy.

00:14:31Well, it beats getting dunked on by Bill Gluckman.

00:14:34Do we even know anybody that lives in the ghetto?

00:14:40My cousin.

00:14:43Chandra.

00:14:44Well, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard.

00:14:47I got better things to do with my time.

00:14:49Like what, Chandra?

00:14:51Work at Wiener on a bum?

00:14:52Come on.

00:14:53Really, Chandra?

00:14:54You're always talking about improving yourself.

00:14:57It's your chance.

00:14:58I am improving myself, fool.

00:14:59I broke up with no good gangbanging tech.

00:15:02I'm going to beauty school, and then I'm going to hook up my own salon.

00:15:05So there.

00:15:06How about hooking a brother up with some Pepsi and some French fries?

00:15:09Oh, shut up, stupid.

00:15:10PJ.

00:15:11What?

00:15:12Chandra, you need to do this.

00:15:13You need to walk away from this minimum wage crap, take these earnings, and start that beauty parlor you were talking about.

00:15:21What you paying?

00:15:22Business.

00:15:23We're in business.

00:15:24See?

00:15:26Agree.

00:15:26We're paying a grand.

00:15:28Make it Trey and we on.

00:15:29$3,000.

00:15:30$3,000?

00:15:31Or you can kiss my ass.

00:15:35Deal.

00:15:35Hey, hey.

00:15:36Hey, deal.

00:15:38Now, what about those fries?

00:15:50Mm-hmm.

00:15:51Hey, Gladys.

00:15:53Yeah, baby.

00:15:54You ever feel like you don't belong?

00:15:56All the time.

00:15:59Most folk only feel comfortable around folk that's the same as them.

00:16:04They get around folk that's different.

00:16:06Get all scared and angry, want to keep them down.

00:16:10What do you do about it?

00:16:13Nothing to do but keep it real and be proud of who you are.

00:16:20Gladys?

00:16:20Mm-hmm.

00:16:22When they gonna leave our people alone?

00:16:24I don't know, baby.

00:16:27Mm-hmm.

00:16:28I just don't know.

00:16:30Now, eat the greens before they get cold.

00:16:35Whack.

00:16:36Weak of poor quality.

00:16:39Bad.

00:16:40Whack.

00:16:43Your alma mater is whack.

00:16:46Whack.

00:16:47This to disrespect, to embarrass, this.

00:16:52Oh, yeah.

00:16:53Whoo!

00:16:53Come on, baby.

00:16:54We are strapped now, brother.

00:16:56Set these bad boys down.

00:16:57Uh-huh.

00:16:58This is exactly what we ordered, huh?

00:17:00Oh, yeah, man.

00:17:01They got the Glocks, man.

00:17:02They got the Tech Nines.

00:17:03They got the Uzis.

00:17:04Uh-huh.

00:17:05Freeze, sucker!

00:17:06Whoa!

00:17:07That's convincing, brother.

00:17:08That's...

00:17:09Look, your face.

00:17:10Wow.

00:17:11What the hell is that?

00:17:12What's going on with your hair?

00:17:13Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:14Check it out, man.

00:17:15Shonda just did it for me.

00:17:16Yeah, I see.

00:17:17Yeah, yeah.

00:17:18I see that.

00:17:19Huh.

00:17:19You hate it, don't you?

00:17:20No, I don't hate it.

00:17:21It's just that I thought my character was going to have the corn rolls, and it's all.

00:17:25Oh.

00:17:26Okay, I see.

00:17:27I see what it is.

00:17:28I see what it is.

00:17:29You're just jealous.

00:17:30You're just jealous because you didn't think of it first, huh?

00:17:31Friggin' A, I'm not jealous, all right?

00:17:33I'm an actor, and I would have...

00:17:35You're frickin' whack and...

00:17:37Don't diss me!

00:17:42Got the gangster gear, my dog.

00:17:44Okay, cool.

00:17:46What is so funny?

00:17:47The way!

00:17:48I didn't know it was how old he!

00:17:49Hey, hey.

00:17:50Why, y'all?

00:17:51Could you bring me back some candy?

00:17:53Whatever, dude.

00:17:54Give me a ride, punk, or I will dust your ass.

00:17:59Nope.

00:18:00Not convincing.

00:18:01Damn it.

00:18:02Hey, hey.

00:18:03Find your core character, Sean.

00:18:06You are an oppressed black man from the ghetto.

00:18:08Yeah, I'm having trouble finding this one, man.

00:18:10Hey.

00:18:11Think Tupac.

00:18:12All right.

00:18:13Let me try it again.

00:18:14Just stay with me.

00:18:15I see it.

00:18:16Action!

00:18:17Give me a ride, punk, or I will dust your ass.

00:18:19At a biatch, and I think you got it.

00:18:20Give me a ride, punk, or I will dust your ass.

00:18:21Biatch!

00:18:22Biatch!

00:18:23Cricket!

00:18:24Run around and do it again!

00:18:25Biatch!

00:18:26Yes!

00:18:27Well, I was chillin' in the hood, not much to do.

00:18:28Helicopter fly-by, gunshot it, too.

00:18:29Since my homie called me.

00:18:30Try it again.

00:18:31Try it again.

00:18:32Just stay with me.

00:18:33Okay.

00:18:34I see it.

00:18:35Action!

00:18:36Give me a ride, punk, or I will dust your ass.

00:18:37Biatch!

00:18:38Biatch!

00:18:39Biatch!

00:18:40Cricket!

00:18:41Run around and do it again!

00:18:42Biatch!

00:18:43Yes!

00:18:44Hey!

00:18:45Hey!

00:18:46Hey!

00:18:47Do it!

00:18:48Yeah!

00:18:49Yeah!

00:18:50Well, I was chillin' in the hood, not much to do.

00:18:54Helicopter fly-by, gunshot it, too.

00:18:56Since my homie called me up from Malibu.

00:18:58And said, yo, high seat, can I roll with you?

00:19:01I had to slow him down, he was movin' too fast.

00:19:03He jumped out standin' at my homegirl's ass.

00:19:05Pants pulled down, had kicked to-

00:19:07Ay, yo, my name is B-Grad, not Robbie Van Winkle.

00:19:10I like my latte non-fat.

00:19:12Don't forget my frink, sprinkle.

00:19:15Die, my ho!

00:19:16Booyah!

00:19:17Biatch!

00:19:18I take my money.

00:19:19I take my money.

00:19:20And I'm gonna-

00:19:21Yo, who?

00:19:22What?

00:19:23Knuckle what?

00:19:25Damn!

00:19:26We're hangin' and bangin' and jammin' to the music.

00:19:30And just when it hit me, somebody turned around and shouted,

00:19:35Play that funky music, white boy.

00:19:39Play that funky music, white boy.

00:19:41Play that funky music, white boy.

00:19:45Play that funky music, white boy.

00:19:49Lay down the groove and just play that funky music till you die.

00:19:55Till you die.

00:19:56Till you die.

00:19:57Till you die.

00:19:58Till you die.

00:19:59Till you die.

00:20:00Till you die.

00:20:01Till you die.

00:20:02Till you die.

00:20:03Till you die.

00:20:04Till you die.

00:20:05Ooh.

00:20:06Play that.

00:20:07Yeah, girl.

00:20:08Mm-mm.

00:20:09Word.

00:20:14Can I help you?

00:20:15Coffee?

00:20:16Black.

00:20:17Okay.

00:20:18Okay.

00:20:19Hey, yo, Krista the barista.

00:20:21Put on my camera.

00:20:23And throw in a white chip macadazamia nizza cookie, too.

00:20:28Cool, player.

00:20:31What's your name?

00:20:33B-Rad.

00:20:34I'm Chandra.

00:20:36I ain't seen you around here before.

00:20:39Where you reside?

00:20:41Compton.

00:20:42You?

00:20:43The street.

00:20:44Which street?

00:20:45Malibu.

00:20:46Right.

00:20:47Right.

00:20:48I guess it's pretty hardcore up in here, huh?

00:20:53Represent.

00:20:54Ooh.

00:20:55Ooh.

00:20:56Was that you dropping rhymes when I came in here earlier?

00:21:00Oh, you heard me?

00:21:01Hell yeah.

00:21:02I'm a rhyme on time.

00:21:03Peep my steel off.

00:21:04Ooh.

00:21:05Ooh.

00:21:06Let me find out.

00:21:07Malibu-tay?

00:21:08Looks fat.

00:21:09What label you at?

00:21:10Oh.

00:21:11Right near him.

00:21:12It's just a demo.

00:21:13I sent it to Dre, but he ain't got back to me yet.

00:21:16Ugh.

00:21:17You sound like Dre Dre.

00:21:18You know what?

00:21:19I'll holla at him about it, all right?

00:21:20All right.

00:21:21Hold up.

00:21:22You know Dre?

00:21:23Hell yeah, I know Dre.

00:21:24I see him at the swap meet every Sunday.

00:21:25For Rizal?

00:21:26For Rizal.

00:21:27Yo, holla at him.

00:21:28You know Dre?

00:21:29Hell yeah, I know Dre.

00:21:30I see him at the swap meet every Sunday.

00:21:32For Rizal?

00:21:33For Rizal.

00:21:34For Rizal.

00:21:35Yo, holla at him.

00:21:36I see him at the swap meet every Sunday.

00:21:37For Rizal.

00:21:38For Rizal.

00:21:39For Rizal?

00:21:40Yo, holla at him for me.

00:21:42I don't know.

00:21:43You know, he kind of private.

00:21:45Please?

00:21:46Mmm, you do got it going on a little something something, though.

00:21:50I was actually on my way to go see him.

00:21:52You want to roll with me?

00:21:53Right now?

00:21:54I'm just trying to help a brother out.

00:21:57Let's bounce.

00:21:58All right.

00:21:59Ooh.

00:22:00Ooh.

00:22:01I got to use the ladies room, so you just wait one minute.

00:22:04All right, Pep Juice?

00:22:05Oh.

00:22:06Oh.

00:22:07Oh.

00:22:08Hello?

00:22:09It's on.

00:22:10Beach Boys on the move.

00:22:11Okay.

00:22:12So what you rap about anyway?

00:22:13I can rap about anything.

00:22:14For real?

00:22:15Yeah.

00:22:16Let me kick a freestyle for you.

00:22:17Hey yo, traffic, traffic.

00:22:18Looking for my chapstick.

00:22:19Feeling kind of carsick.

00:22:20There's it for a maverick.

00:22:21See, that's a million dollar song right there.

00:22:22Mm-hmm.

00:22:23So how'd you get to be so down?

00:22:24Shoot girl, I've been down with a bris-down all my life.

00:22:29And I must say, of all the mommies that I love, I love you.

00:22:32I love you.

00:22:33So what you rap about anyway?

00:22:34I can rap about anything.

00:22:35For real?

00:22:36Yeah.

00:22:37Let me kick a freestyle for you.

00:22:38Hey yo, traffic, traffic, looking for my chapstick.

00:22:40Feeling kind of carsick.

00:22:41There's it for a maverick.

00:22:42See, that's a million dollar song right there.

00:22:44Mm-hmm.

00:22:45So how'd you get to be so down?

00:22:46Shoot girl, I've been down with the bris-down all my life.

00:22:49And I must say, of all the mommies that I've been with, you the finest.

00:22:55I'm sure.

00:22:57So, uh, you got a man?

00:23:02I did, but I just got rid of his trifling ass.

00:23:05I ain't nobody's gangster hoochie.

00:23:07I'm an entrepreneur.

00:23:08Word up.

00:23:09One day I'ma have me a chain of beauty salons all up in the 90210.

00:23:13I'ma make mad money turning all those little rich hoochies ghetto fabulous.

00:23:18Damn, you fine and smart too?

00:23:21You gonna blow up huge, no doubt.

00:23:25Oh, for real?

00:23:27You're like a cross between Martha Stewart and Oprah.

00:23:31I'ma call you Mothra.

00:23:33What?

00:23:34Mothra.

00:23:35Oh, take this exit.

00:23:38Break yourself, fool.

00:23:39Give me your rider, I'ma dust your ass.

00:23:40Bitch!

00:23:41What?

00:23:42You finna get jacked, fool.

00:23:43Chandra!

00:23:44Shut up, fool.

00:23:45It's in the backseat.

00:23:46This a come up.

00:23:47Hell no, it's a sticker.

00:23:48I think I'm gonna throw up.

00:23:49Come on.

00:23:50You're about to get wet if you don't get in the backseat, fool.

00:23:51Does this mean we ain't going to trade?

00:23:52Fool, it's a kidnapping.

00:23:53Get your ass in the pool.

00:23:54Drain?

00:23:55What the hell you talking about?

00:23:56Yo, punch it, fool.

00:23:57Punch it.

00:23:58Kidnapped.

00:23:59Yeah, fool.

00:24:00We got your Rich Gluckman ass now, punk.

00:24:01How y'all know me?

00:24:02We sent you.

00:24:03We sent you.

00:24:04We sent you what behind on the TV.

00:24:05Be rad.

00:24:06Yeah.

00:24:07Yo, pops go pay.

00:24:08Or you go pay.

00:24:09Ha, ha, ha.

00:24:10Punch it, fool.

00:24:11We got us a white boy now.

00:24:12Ha, ha, ha.

00:24:13Ha, ha.

00:24:14How much you think, fool?

00:24:15Does this mean we ain't going to trade?

00:24:16Does this mean we ain't going to trade?

00:24:17Fool, it's a kidnapping.

00:24:18Get your ass in the pool.

00:24:19Drain?

00:24:20What the hell you talking about?

00:24:21Yo, punch it, fool.

00:24:22Punch it.

00:24:23Kidnapped.

00:24:24Yeah, fool.

00:24:25We got your Rich Gluckman ass now, punk.

00:24:26How y'all know me?

00:24:27We sent you.

00:24:28We sent your what behind on the TV.

00:24:29Be rad.

00:24:30Yeah.

00:24:31Yo, pops go pay.

00:24:32Or you go pay.

00:24:33Ha, ha, ha.

00:24:34How much you think we can get for this punk anyway?

00:24:36All about the Benjamins, baby.

00:24:38Yeah.

00:24:39Don't you talk about my mom.

00:24:41I talk about your mama all the way.

00:24:42Oh, hell no.

00:24:43Yo mama so fat, she got every caterer on speed dial.

00:24:47What?

00:24:48Uh-uh, uh-uh.

00:24:49Yo mama so fat that she uses Mexico, the whole country, as her tanning bed.

00:24:54Yo mama so ugly, José Eiffel won't even do her hair.

00:24:57Yo mama so ugly, she's only been married once.

00:25:01Your mama so poor, Halloween, her trick was the treat.

00:25:06Your mama so poor that your tits are real.

00:25:08Oh, no.

00:25:09Yes.

00:25:10Oh, man.

00:25:11Yes.

00:25:12I'm going, I'm going.

00:25:13I gotta wait for the lady.

00:25:14Come on, punk.

00:25:15Come on, punk.

00:25:16Get in the house, fool.

00:25:17Dang, why you doing this to a brother?

00:25:18What?

00:25:19Did he just say brother?

00:25:20No, he didn't.

00:25:21Whose brother?

00:25:22Yours, y'all.

00:25:23I'm damn.

00:25:24Damn.

00:25:25Damn.

00:25:26You done did it now.

00:25:27You ain't black.

00:25:28And you can never be black.

00:25:29And your perpetrating ass is taking the only thing that I got left.

00:25:33My culture.

00:25:34Yeah, fool.

00:25:35What make you think you know what goes down up in the hood anyway, huh?

00:25:37B.E.T.

00:25:38What?

00:25:39You think this a joke, Wigger?

00:25:40You think this a joke?

00:25:41I'm sorry, y'all.

00:25:42Don't be hating.

00:25:43This ain't a game.

00:25:44You a long way from the beach now, punk.

00:25:45We in South Central.

00:25:46This the hood.

00:25:47This the ghetto.

00:25:48The projects.

00:25:49We run hardcore up here.

00:25:50People get killed here every day.

00:25:51Yeah, yeah.

00:25:52Yeah.

00:25:53Yeah.

00:25:54Yeah.

00:25:55Yeah.

00:25:56Yeah.

00:25:57Yeah.

00:25:58Yeah.

00:25:59Yeah.

00:26:00Yeah.

00:26:01Yeah.

00:26:02Yeah.

00:26:03Yeah.

00:26:04Yeah.

00:26:05Yeah.

00:26:06Yeah.

00:26:07Hey, Sandra, can you come by later?

00:26:10Princess just had puppies.

00:26:12Okay, Sandy.

00:26:13Bye.

00:26:18Pit bull puppies, fool.

00:26:19Pit bull puppies.

00:26:20Don't look at me.

00:26:21Come on.

00:26:22Get your narrow, fool.

00:26:23Get him up in there.

00:26:24Hey.

00:26:25Now, fool, put your hands behind your back.

00:26:27Behind the back.

00:26:28Put your hands behind your back.

00:26:29You know what I'm about to do now?

00:26:30Huh?

00:26:31I'm about to call your daddy.

00:26:32Ooh, we gonna call your daddy.

00:26:33You better hope your daddy home, too.

00:26:35Because if he ain't, you're gonna be one dusted trick.

00:26:38Judy.

00:26:39Now, get your ass on the bed, white.

00:26:48Did you buy my rage?

00:26:49No.

00:26:50You're indicating.

00:26:51Indicating?

00:26:52Yes, indicating.

00:26:53Excuse me?

00:26:54I have never indicated in my life.

00:26:56Would you two fools just shut the hell up?

00:26:58She's right.

00:26:59Shut up.

00:27:00Thank you, Chandra.

00:27:01Whatever.

00:27:02All right, Chandra, put this down.

00:27:03You're on.

00:27:04Go, girlfriend.

00:27:05Do your thing.

00:27:06Oh, goodness.

00:27:07Hey, Chandra.

00:27:08If you have to, show a little ass.

00:27:13Oh, shut up.

00:27:15You all right in here?

00:27:16Oh, good.

00:27:17I've just been kidnapped, carjacked, hands tied behind my back.

00:27:20But other than that, it's all good.

00:27:22Look, I'm sorry about all that.

00:27:23That wasn't really my idea.

00:27:24I thought you liked me.

00:27:25I do.

00:27:26Then how come you set me up?

00:27:27I had to.

00:27:28I mean, they threatened me.

00:27:29I'm sorry.

00:27:30I'm sorry.

00:27:31I'm sorry.

00:27:32I'm sorry.

00:27:33I'm sorry.

00:27:34You're all right in here.

00:27:35You all right in here?

00:27:36Oh, good.

00:27:37I've just been kidnapped, carjacked, hands tied behind my back.

00:27:39But other than that, it's all good.

00:27:41Look, I'm sorry about all that.

00:27:42That wasn't really my idea.

00:27:44I thought you liked me.

00:27:47I do.

00:27:48Then how come you set me up?

00:27:50I had to.

00:27:53I mean, they threatened to kill me if I didn't play along.

00:27:56For real?

00:27:57Yeah.

00:27:58They straight up killers out there.

00:28:01For real?

00:28:02Mm-hmm.

00:28:03Now let me school you on something.

00:28:04Help us both stay alive, all right?

00:28:06Okay.

00:28:07The one thing that they hate more than anything that really, really makes them crazy is posers.

00:28:14Me too, girl.

00:28:16I feel you.

00:28:17I'm talking about you.

00:28:18Me?

00:28:19I ain't a poser.

00:28:20Shoot.

00:28:21I got a PhD, a poser-hater degree.

00:28:23Come on.

00:28:24Quit fronting.

00:28:25I ain't fronting.

00:28:26This is my sizzle, a rizzle, my nizzle.

00:28:30Stop it.

00:28:31You stop it right now.

00:28:33You listen to me.

00:28:34If you just be yourself, a nice little white boy, I think I can convince them to let you

00:28:39go.

00:28:40But I'm being myself.

00:28:41I ams who I says I ams.

00:28:44Damn.

00:28:45Why won't anybody believe me?

00:28:52Well?

00:28:53Maybe you should show them your ass.

00:28:59Huh.

00:29:00I thought that would've worked.

00:29:02Weird.

00:29:03All right.

00:29:04What's next?

00:29:06How about number three?

00:29:07Number three.

00:29:08Perfect.

00:29:09All right.

00:29:10We're gonna take it to an entirely different level.

00:29:11Okay.

00:29:12I got it.

00:29:13What?

00:29:14I'm gonna walk in there, and I'm gonna be crazy.

00:29:16I'm gonna be ghetto-fied, buck wild.

00:29:18You tell me.

00:29:19Stick the plan, man.

00:29:20Stick the plan.

00:29:21Got it?

00:29:22Wake up, snowflake!

00:29:24Yeah!

00:29:25Huh.

00:29:26We put a call in to your dad.

00:29:27What'd he say?

00:29:28He said he'd think about it.

00:29:29Huh?

00:29:30Uh-huh.

00:29:31Seems as if he don't want your ass home right now.

00:29:33I can't say that I blame him.

00:29:35Oh, hell no.

00:29:36Blackbath!

00:29:37Not the knife, dawg.

00:29:38Oh, no.

00:29:39Come on.

00:29:40What you doing, dawg?

00:29:41I'm gonna teach this little white girl lesson.

00:29:42Oh, come on, Blackbath.

00:29:43We said we was gonna stick to the plan, man.

00:29:44Hey, Blackbath.

00:29:45Stick with the plan.

00:29:46Tree, the plan done changed.

00:29:48What?

00:29:49Wannabe say he down.

00:29:50I'm gonna show him just how undown he is.

00:29:53I gotta cut him.

00:29:54Hold on.

00:29:55Now you can't cut him.

00:29:56Oh, Tree, I gotta cut him.

00:29:57You don't gotta cut him.

00:29:58Blackbath don't cut him.

00:29:59We can't get our money.

00:30:00Nah, you can't.

00:30:01Hold on.

00:30:02Okay, just the white man.

00:30:03Move, move, move, move.

00:30:04Go, go, go.

00:30:05Don't carry no bloodbath.

00:30:24Alright now, Malibu.

00:30:26I want you to go up in there.

00:30:28You gon' get me six forties or O.E.

00:30:31And it fit for Henny.

00:30:32Yeah.

00:30:33Yeah.

00:30:34Anything else, dog?

00:30:35Oh, no, player.

00:30:36I'm cool.

00:30:37Right on.

00:30:38Right on.

00:30:39I like some Pringles.

00:30:40This ain't no picnic, bitch!

00:30:43I'm sorry.

00:30:44Uh, y'all got some ducats.

00:30:45Uh, y'all got some ducats.

00:30:47Cause since you stole my-

00:30:48The man!

00:30:49You about to go up in there and give them Koreans your ends?

00:30:53Hell no!

00:30:54You jacked that shit, fool!

00:30:55And if the Asiatic give you any static, hit the fool with this right here.

00:30:59Mm-hmm.

00:31:00Look, look, look.

00:31:01Look at the little buster.

00:31:02Little buster?

00:31:03Can't even swing a gap.

00:31:04Shoot.

00:31:05Talking about eating down.

00:31:06What?

00:31:07Bah, bah, bah, bah!

00:31:08You use that, I'mma use it on you, fool!

00:31:09Okay.

00:31:10And if you try to get away, I'mma let you taste a little piece of my blue steel.

00:31:14You feel me?

00:31:15Okay.

00:31:16Alright.

00:31:17Don't get out!

00:31:18Okay.

00:31:19Go!

00:31:20Go!

00:31:28Hey, white boy.

00:31:37This ain't no picnic, bitch!

00:31:39Oh, wow!

00:31:41I love the blue steel line.

00:31:42Hey, man, convincing.

00:31:49Hola.

00:31:56I really can't believe that.

00:31:58Oh, those improv classes are really paying off, brother.

00:31:59Oh, they really are, man.

00:32:00When you sit, this is no picnic, bitch!

00:32:02You're a shining light.

00:32:03I screamed on the inside like one.

00:32:05For real?

00:32:06Yes!

00:32:14Ooh, I'm thirsty.

00:32:15I gotta tell you.

00:32:16And boy, do I love old English.

00:32:18She really helps punch my thirst.

00:32:40Can I help you all?

00:32:48Um...

00:32:58No!

00:32:58I'mma help myself to this oi.

00:32:59And anything else I want up in here, bitch!

00:33:01Can I help you?

00:33:13Uh, y'all never been robbed?

00:33:16Sure, last week we were 54th time.

00:33:18But they were cool, no gun to head, never scream.

00:33:21You know, good people.

00:33:23Cool.

00:33:24So dude, how much did you pay the guy?

00:33:28What are you talking about?

00:33:30You know, when you set this whole thing up yesterday.

00:33:33I thought you set it up.

00:33:36You mean...

00:33:38Dude, the owner doesn't know this is fake?

00:33:431647.

00:33:47Uh-huh.

00:33:49PJ, go in there and save him. He could get shot.

00:33:52I'm not gonna go in there, man. You go in there.

00:33:54His friggin' life is at stake.

00:33:56My emergency stash.

00:34:04Yo, I'm glad you got cash.

00:34:06Cause if you would try to jack me, fool, I was gonna have to lay you out with this.

00:34:11And with this.

00:34:13And with that.

00:34:15Uh, cue the change.

00:34:18Just do me this one favor, please.

00:34:19You are the driver, I am the shooter.

00:34:20I'm scared of Koreans.

00:34:21Thank you very much.

00:34:22Come again.

00:34:23Uh, what am I about to do right now?

00:34:24Uh, I know it sounds whack, but it's just a joke, okay?

00:34:25So please don't shoot me.

00:34:26Yeah, that's right, fool!

00:34:27Next time I bust a cap in your cock-ass bitch!

00:34:28Yeah, you lucky I don't burn you down!

00:34:29Hell yeah!

00:34:30Hell yeah!

00:34:31Hell yeah!

00:34:32What you think?

00:34:33What?

00:34:34You actually did it?

00:34:35Let's roll!

00:34:36You did it!

00:34:37Hell yeah!

00:34:38He didn't do nothing!

00:34:39He's straight up a trick!

00:34:40What's up with that?

00:34:41I'm afraid of Koreans!

00:34:42Thank you very much!

00:34:43Come again!

00:34:44Uh, what am I about to do right now?

00:34:45Uh, I know it sounds whack, but it's just a joke, okay?

00:34:46So please don't shoot me.

00:34:47Yeah, that's right, fool!

00:34:48Next time I bust a cap in your cock-ass bitch!

00:34:50Yeah, you lucky I don't burn you down!

00:34:51Hell yeah!

00:34:52Hell yeah!

00:34:53Hell yeah!

00:34:54What you think?

00:34:57Yes!

00:34:58Huh?

00:34:59If you jacked it, how come you got a receipt?

00:35:01I stole that too!

00:35:04What's on tap for tomorrow?

00:35:08Well, we have the 11 o'clock with Greenpeace and then drinks later on with the offshore oil

00:35:13lobby.

00:35:14How's the Brad project going?

00:35:16Smooth!

00:35:17He's in South Central.

00:35:19Is he okay?

00:35:21Oh, he's in excellent hands.

00:35:25I'm sick of playing game with you snowflake.

00:35:28Alright, now I'mma give you five seconds for you to be real.

00:35:31I'mma beat that ass to the curve.

00:35:33What you mean, be real?

00:35:34You know what I mean, be white.

00:35:36Five.

00:35:37Don't do it, bloodbath.

00:35:38Four.

00:35:39Don't do it, bloodbath.

00:35:40Three.

00:35:41He gon' do it, white boy!

00:35:42Two.

00:35:43Kill him!

00:35:44Kill him!

00:35:45Okay, alright!

00:35:46Okay, fellas, look.

00:35:47I'm really sorry, okay?

00:35:49I don't mean to offend you.

00:35:51You know, I don't mean to front or act like a thug.

00:35:54I'm sorry.

00:35:55Uh, you behind me?

00:35:56Oh, no, I can't tell.

00:35:57Mm-hmm.

00:35:58Me neither.

00:35:59Let's give him the test.

00:36:02How you doing, white boy?

00:36:03You cool?

00:36:04Great.

00:36:05Fine.

00:36:06Terrific, Papa.

00:36:08Terrific, Papa.

00:36:38all back in your head, he'll tell you my skin.

00:36:39Thank you, girlfriend.

00:36:40Mom, will make me hate, decrease me please?

00:36:41He's gonna fight ."

00:36:42Come on, I will kill you be sick."

00:36:43He's like, devil, you craves.

00:36:44Are my friends?

00:36:45He's like, devil!

00:36:46Forget you.

00:36:47Who are my friends?

00:36:48I ain't.

00:36:49No.

00:36:50Oh, man!

00:36:51I ain't liin'.

00:36:52I'm sorry, y'all, but this is who I am.

00:36:54I'm just a rapper straighter.

00:36:55Kidding salesman.

00:36:56Figure chants,

00:37:02world business to solve the problem.

00:37:03Everybody, expand your face,

00:37:04beс-free.

00:37:05You don't care.

00:37:07You don't care?

00:37:08Never.

00:37:08But if they listen to my song, then we'd all get along.

00:37:11I may be Jewish, but I got a nice shlong.

00:37:14Excuse me, sir.

00:37:15Hey, man, hey, I had it up to here with you, man.

00:37:17You better check yourself before you rickety rep yourself.

00:37:20This ain't Malibu.

00:37:22Represent. Oh, yeah, we'll see what you represent now, fool.

00:37:25We at the club.

00:37:26Huh? Uh-huh.

00:37:27Snoop, Dre, Q, all them, they came in through here.

00:37:30Yeah, you got something to prove to yourself?

00:37:32Do it in there.

00:37:34Go on in there, fool. Go on up in there.

00:37:38I think this is going to do it, dude.

00:37:40Oh, we're about to get paid.

00:37:42We're about to get paid.

00:38:06What's cracking?

00:38:08Hey, dawg?

00:38:11Yeah, how you feeling now, Malibu?

00:38:14Like I'm home.

00:38:16Get your ass in there then, fool.

00:38:18Don't!

00:38:19Get to it, man, like home.

00:38:20Hey, this is my song.

00:38:22Come on! Yeah!

00:38:29Come on. Let me get through here, man.

00:38:31Yo!

00:38:33Man, I told you I didn't have...

00:38:35What's happening?

00:38:37Yeah, yeah, look, our homie, you want to get a young Dre next, man.

00:38:41Hell no. You hear what he saying?

00:38:43Me and my boy, Ben Franklin. Ta-da!

00:38:47What's his name?

00:38:49B-Rab from Malibu, player.

00:38:51Yeah.

00:38:52B-Rab from Malibu? You trying to get me shot.

00:38:54Hey, you met Ben Franklin's twin brother. Ta-da!

00:38:58Oh, yeah.

00:39:00Tell the fed.

00:39:02All right, we're gonna bring him up, man.

00:39:04Y'all go back there and play with each other

00:39:06and come back in about five more minutes.

00:39:08Playin'.

00:39:09Hey, man.

00:39:10Y'all got some Will Smith back there?

00:39:12Get Ziggy with it.

00:39:17Hey, miss.

00:39:18Where you been?

00:39:19Hell yeah.

00:39:20Ooh, Sean.

00:39:22Ooh.

00:39:23I've been busy, Tech.

00:39:25You been getting busy?

00:39:27None of your damn business.

00:39:29Okay, okay. I'm cool.

00:39:31I understand.

00:39:32Just tell me who it is.

00:39:34All you need to know is that it ain't your black ass.

00:39:37See this, that shit, Chandra.

00:39:38You thinking you better than me.

00:39:40All you miss is a chicken head

00:39:41and that's all you ever gonna be.

00:39:42Chandra?

00:39:43Excuse me.

00:39:44Hey, girl.

00:39:45What's up?

00:39:46You all right?

00:39:48Oh, yeah, I'm fine, but you're the finest.

00:39:50She the truth, too, dude.

00:39:52I'm telling you.

00:39:53Most will get set up, boy.

00:39:54You hitting this?

00:39:55No.

00:39:56Now let me go.

00:39:58Hey, dude.

00:39:59Didn't your mom ever tell you how to treat a lady?

00:40:02That's not nice.

00:40:03Oh, you know my mom?

00:40:04No, but she wouldn't appreciate you grabbing a woman like you.

00:40:07No, you're right.

00:40:08What would your mom prefer?

00:40:09My mom, you know you just talk to him and be nice to him.

00:40:12Can I tell you what my mom would do?

00:40:13What would she do?

00:40:14My mom would tell you to mind your own damn business, white boy.

00:40:16Huh?

00:40:17Pat, don't!

00:40:18Don't be hating.

00:40:19Pat, don't!

00:40:20Stop it!

00:40:21Y'all gonna be real sorry to both of you.

00:40:25You all right?

00:40:26Yeah, I'm okay.

00:40:27Who is that?

00:40:28Old history.

00:40:29You know what?

00:40:30Come on.

00:40:31He's strong.

00:40:32When I say, wind up your sacred, wind up your flag, wind up your flag!

00:40:50Excuse me, where we leaving?

00:40:52Just shut up.

00:40:53No, please.

00:40:54You gotta get outta here.

00:40:55You let me go?

00:40:56get out of here. You let me go? I'm not having your blood on my hands. Now look, it's the

00:41:01Red Honda by the door. Just go. B-Rab. Give it up for B-Rab straight out of Malibu. B-Rab,

00:41:09come on up. B-Rab. Go. I can't. Why? Chandra, anybody can rap at the Malibu County Fair.

00:41:18This is my chance. My one shot. I gotta prove myself.

00:41:26This is gonna be like an episode of Oz. I'm, uh, yeah, excuse me. Um, yeah, I'm gonna go on stage

00:41:36and do my rhyme thing. And, uh, yeah, they kind of backing me in tight here, huh? Hey, get up there.

00:41:44Okay. Get up there, fool. Oh, hell no. No, hell no. Uh-uh. Him? No, hell no. Be ready.

00:41:51Yeah. Y'all have a locker? Man, come on. You a rapper? Yeah, straight up. I didn't know

00:41:58Dairy Queen had a rap label. Hey, I may be white, but my rhymes is tight. Oh, yeah. I'm down,

00:42:05y'all. No, you ain't down, homie. I ain't battling no bitch, homie, first of all. Whoa. I know

00:42:11you heard that. Yeah. Yo, fella, can I serve this fool right quick, homie? Amen.

00:42:17Serve him, dog. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Hey, y'all give it up. Come on, let's set it up. What's it gonna

00:42:25be saltine? Here's a tail. Tis his ass. Tails. Uh, I like tails, please. What's it gonna

00:42:38be, first or second? Hey, ladies first. Ooh, hey, ooh. All right, y'all. Oh, you gotta

00:42:46cut it out. Serving house. Man, check this out. I got something for his ass. Do this on me.

00:42:52Let me hear. Yeah. Say woo, woo. Woo, woo. Say woo, woo. Woo, woo, woo, woo. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.

00:43:01Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. See, your mama got drunk and found her sleep

00:43:07in the zoo. With a zebra and a monkey, it came up with you. When the doctor said push, she

00:43:11released the pelvis. Oh, shit, now I'm battling the hip-hop Elvis. I have to spread flame and

00:43:17destroy your name. I really don't dig this rapping John Wayne. Say, y'all, it's

00:43:22a little weenie so small. When he go to take a leak, I bet he piss on his balls.

00:43:26I see, y'all, I see. I see, y'all, I see. I see, y'all. I see, y'all.

00:43:32Big steel. Serve him, baby. Serve him heavy, his style.

00:43:36Come on. Come on. Come on. Get his wheel. Get his wheel.

00:43:41Man, I ain't gonna go battle this little bump. Let's see what you got.

00:43:46Yeah. When I say Mally, you say boo, Mally.

00:43:54Okay? Feeling the love? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:44:10One, two, three, four, flow!

00:44:13What? What?

00:44:14Hey, yo, I may be white, but inside my soul is black as night.

00:44:17And I don't want to fight, all right?

00:44:19I'd rather go fly a kite or go on a low-car dice.

00:44:23That means no more pasta.

00:44:25Y'all rappers is too slow, and I'm kind of faster.

00:44:29Hey, young Dre, you got cornrows in your hair.

00:44:32You got cornrows down there?

00:44:33I got a watch.

00:44:35It's a suiach.

00:44:36And when my mother does her clothes,

00:44:38I'm thinking I'm clean, she uses.

00:44:39Bliatch.

00:44:41Yeah.

00:44:42I'm sorry, young, but I'm feeling straight, nigga.

00:44:45The boo's number four, hardcore nigga!

00:45:02I'm sorry.

00:45:03This black history might you out your rabbit-ass mind?

00:45:22What is this?

00:45:23Is this like Lord of Rap Initiation?

00:45:25This is not how they do it on American Idol.

00:45:28Come on.

00:45:37Come on.

00:45:42Don't be hatin'.

00:45:44Yo, yo, yo, yo, all y'all rappers out there.

00:45:50My name is Brad Gluckman.

00:45:52And when I'm on the mic, you can really say I suck, man.

00:45:55All right, look, y'all.

00:45:56Y'all had y'all laugh.

00:45:57Just chill out.

00:45:58Yeah, because B-Rad G's about to get ill.

00:46:00Yo, yo, yo.

00:46:01I ain't laughed that hard in a long, long time.

00:46:04For real.

00:46:05Hey, hey, hey, yo, player.

00:46:07Yo pops called and you know what he said?

00:46:09He said he ain't paying.

00:46:11Yeah, I guess he just wants you to stay in the hood

00:46:13with the brothers, you know, since you're so down and all.

00:46:16Mm-hmm.

00:46:17So I guess that means we just gonna have to smoke your punk ass.

00:46:19You think about that?

00:46:20Hmm?

00:46:22I don't care no more.

00:46:25I got nothing to live for.

00:46:28Go ahead and smoke.

00:46:37Dude.

00:46:38You believe what they're putting on stage?

00:46:40That's right, that's right.

00:46:42I said you're getting played, homie.

00:46:43Stay down, dog.

00:46:44Excuse me.

00:46:45Yeah, that's right.

00:46:46I said you're getting played, dog.

00:46:47Little white boy up there hitting your lady.

00:46:49You know, she digging it.

00:46:50She loving what's going on.

00:46:51I'm not missing that, right?

00:46:52You know what I was kind of thinking?

00:46:53Just a little bit to myself.

00:46:54Hmm?

00:46:55I was thinking maybe I'd go next.

00:46:56You want next?

00:46:57Let a homie get some action.

00:46:58You know what I mean?

00:46:59Just a little something.

00:47:00Oh!

00:47:01Hey!

00:47:02Hey!

00:47:03Hey, homie!

00:47:04What's up?

00:47:05What you want to do?

00:47:06I want to bag me a white boy.

00:47:08That's what I want to do.

00:47:18Hey, you okay?

00:47:24You know, it's not as bad as it seems.

00:47:26It's worse.

00:47:27Everybody's right.

00:47:28Rhymes is weak.

00:47:29You, you just, you need a little work.

00:47:32I should've run when you gave me the chance.

00:47:35No, you were right.

00:47:37I respect you for getting up there.

00:47:39You got mad heart.

00:47:40But you heard them laughing.

00:47:42I ain't nothing but a buster.

00:47:44They just, they just don't understand you.

00:47:47None of them know how hardcore it is up in Malibu.

00:47:51Yeah?

00:47:52Yeah.

00:47:53With the, the, the traffic and, and, and the sharks.

00:48:02Y'all got sharks.

00:48:03And wouldn't the public be all up on your private beach?

00:48:06Right.

00:48:07Right.

00:48:08You just gotta stick with it and be yourself.

00:48:14Don't let anybody tell you who you are.

00:48:17You alright, B-Rab.

00:48:20Is it Chandra?

00:48:21You know what I was saying earlier?

00:48:22In the car?

00:48:23About being a player and all?

00:48:24I just fool them.

00:48:25I ain't never been with a real black girl before.

00:48:26For real?

00:48:27Well, except on the internet.

00:48:28You the finest girl I ever seen in my whole life.

00:48:30And I was wondering, since they gonna ice me in the morning, could I like condom maybe?

00:48:31Hopefully.

00:48:32Kiss you?

00:48:33Kiss you.

00:48:34Kiss you?

00:48:35And I can't see you in the morning.

00:48:36Why?

00:48:37And I can't see you?

00:48:38This is the most.

00:48:39I can't see you in the background.

00:48:40Who's your earliest girl who is a queen?

00:48:41Yeah.

00:48:42You ain't that bad.

00:48:43I'm not.

00:48:44I'm not.

00:48:45You'd never be with a real black girl before.

00:48:46For real?

00:48:47Well, except on the internet.

00:48:48Who, the finest girl I ever seen in my whole life?

00:48:49Since they're gonna ice me in the morning,

00:48:52could I, like, kinda maybe...

00:48:57hopefully...

00:48:59kiss you?

00:49:04You're so pretty.

00:49:19Oh, you're real pretty.

00:49:27Damn fool, I said kiss.

00:49:31I offered you a snack, not the whole kitchen.

00:49:36My bad.

00:49:37It's my bad.

00:49:41My bad.

00:49:45Oh, hell no. Hell no. Get your ass up.

00:49:48Get your big ass up. Move.

00:49:51All right, that's it.

00:49:52This game is whack.

00:49:53I want my money, and then y'all can get out.

00:49:55Hey, Chandra, but we're not done yet.

00:49:58And? You ain't never gonna be done.

00:50:01Did it ever occur to you two clowns

00:50:03that this might be the way he really is?

00:50:06No.

00:50:07Whatever. Look, I did what you asked.

00:50:09I want my money.

00:50:10Chandra, you failed to realize that putting together

00:50:12this entire operation has been quite expensive.

00:50:15Bling bling.

00:50:16Excuse me?

00:50:19I might not have all the money right now.

00:50:21Are you playing me, huh?

00:50:22Oh.

00:50:23Y'all better get my money,

00:50:25or I'm going in there and I'm gonna tell them what's up.

00:50:27All right?

00:50:28Uh-huh.

00:50:31Okay.

00:50:32Let's go.

00:50:33Let's go.

00:50:47Hey, dog.

00:50:48Huh?

00:50:50Down here, dawg.

00:50:56Still a little?

00:50:58Negro, please. That little white rat ain't got nothing on me.

00:51:01Yo, I'm Ronnie Rizzat. Rep-a-zizzat.

00:51:04Ah. Hey, Ronnie.

00:51:06Why you down, dawg?

00:51:08I'm a failure.

00:51:10No, no, it ain't like that, fool.

00:51:12You need to stop listening to all them perpetrators and just be yourself.

00:51:16For real?

00:51:17For real. Pound it.

00:51:23Hold up.

00:51:25You saying if I put my mind to it, I can be whatever I want to be?

00:51:29Damn straight.

00:51:31That if I follow my dreams, I can achieve true happiness?

00:51:34Word.

00:51:35And if I work hard, I can be the biggest rapper there ever was?

00:51:39Rapper? Hell no, you stink.

00:51:42Don't be hatin'.

00:51:44I'd rather eat garbage than listen to your tired-ass rhymes.

00:51:47What?

00:51:48Now look here, man. I'm up out of here.

00:51:50I gotta go see my lady. She's a breeder right at Pet Cow.

00:51:53And please believe it, it's all gonna work out for the best.

00:51:56Oh, shiznit!

00:51:58I'm up out of here.

00:52:00I'm up out of here.

00:52:02I'm up out of here.

00:52:04I'm up out of here.

00:52:06I'm up out of here.

00:52:08I'm up out of here.

00:52:09I'm up out of here.

00:52:10I'm up out to here.

00:52:11I'm up out of here.

00:52:14Oh, shiznit!

00:52:16Well, he totally bought the carjacks going into the kidnapping.

00:52:23And we staged a beautiful liquor store.

00:52:25Robbery, as you should've been there.

00:52:27Unfortunately...

00:52:28Unfortunately, he still seems to be posing, so we've taken upon ourselves to plan a drive-by shooting next.

00:52:35Mr. Gluckman will be very happy.

00:52:37Now, it's going to take a little bit more money than we originally projected,

00:52:40so that's why we were wondering if you could give us an advance.

00:52:43No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:52:44No, you'll get the rest of your money when Richie Cunningham comes walking through my door and not a second sooner.

00:52:48Understood?

00:52:49Right. I do under...

00:52:50Good.

00:52:51Mr. Gibbons? Hello?

00:52:56Damn!

00:52:58They've been playing me all along.

00:53:01I knew my rhymes was dope.

00:53:04I knew the hood couldn't be this bad.

00:53:07How could they do that?

00:53:10How could she do that?

00:53:12All right.

00:53:14If damn fools want to play, then let's play!

00:53:21Ow! What's that?

00:53:22No!

00:53:25Hey!

00:53:25What the hell are you doing?

00:53:27Listen up!

00:53:28Beat Rad G's in the hazy, and things are going to start changing around here for sheezy.

00:53:33Do something.

00:53:36You better shut your mouth, fool.

00:53:37Get back in that room, before I beat your ass.

00:53:41You feeling froggy?

00:53:43Then leave.

00:53:44Ooh.

00:53:46Anybody else want a step?

00:53:48Uh, no.

00:53:49What the hell got into you?

00:53:52Shut up, hoe!

00:53:53Ooh.

00:53:54Hoe?

00:53:54Who you calling a hoe, hoe?

00:53:58You, hoe?

00:53:59The same hoe that gave up that weak-ass kiss five minutes ago in the bedroom.

00:54:04Really?

00:54:04Chandra, I told you she liked white boys.

00:54:07Who do you think you are?

00:54:09Who do you think you are?

00:54:10Oh, I'm B-Rad G from Boo.

00:54:12Represent.

00:54:13And what y'all didn't realize is, I was trying to put my mobbing days behind me.

00:54:18But rolling with you all done reawoke my inner killer.

00:54:22So, let's start dropping by.

00:54:29Don't stand there.

00:54:30Come on, girl.

00:54:30Help us.

00:54:31Uh-uh.

00:54:31You created that monster.

00:54:33You deal with it.

00:54:34Hey.

00:54:35Hey, man.

00:54:36Hey, where you going, man?

00:54:37Where you going?

00:54:38I need to take a drive.

00:54:39What you mean?

00:54:40Well, you finna drive, too.

00:54:41Oh, I think today's a good day to die, don't you think?

00:54:43Huh?

00:54:43Yeah, yeah.

00:54:44Hey, hey, hey.

00:54:45Why you talking crazy, man?

00:54:47Just be cool.

00:54:47Hey.

00:54:48I might as well go out in the blaze of glory.

00:54:50My daddy don't love me.

00:54:51My rhymes just played out.

00:54:53I ain't down enough for y'all.

00:54:54Oh, you're down.

00:54:55You're down.

00:54:56Isn't he down, PJ?

00:54:57Ow.

00:54:58Trey, ain't he down?

00:54:59Yeah, bloodbath.

00:55:00He down.

00:55:00He down as they come, fool.

00:55:02Oh, my God.

00:55:04It's a jack.

00:55:05It's a jack.

00:55:06Get off the car, white boy.

00:55:09Oh, you that weak fuck from the club.

00:55:12So behind off the car, man.

00:55:15Got something for me?

00:55:16Hell yeah, I got something for you.

00:55:17You ready to die?

00:55:18Well, ain't that a coinkie thing.

00:55:20I was just talking to my two homies about just that.

00:55:22Shut up and move.

00:55:23Move him.

00:55:24All right.

00:55:25But you also change up your style because this Jackins is getting tired.

00:55:29Hey, yo, bloodbath.

00:55:30If there's one scratch on my rock, I'm going to eat your children.

00:55:34Shotgun?

00:55:35Hey, yo, dude, shut him up.

00:55:37Jesus.

00:55:38Jesus.

00:55:38Oh, hey, yo, A-ball.

00:55:40What should we do with Bloodbath and his friend?

00:55:42Uh, nothing.

00:55:43Move your feet.

00:55:44Shotgun.

00:55:44You know what shotgun means?

00:55:46Shotgun means I ride in the front seat.

00:55:48You better hope I don't piss in your trunk.

00:55:50Shut up.

00:55:50Get me.

00:55:52Get me.

00:55:52Allow me to clear this up for you, my dogs.

00:55:54My name isn't Bloodbath.

00:55:56It's Sean James, and I'm just an actor.

00:55:58Well, Sean James, is Sean your head in that white boy?

00:56:00I don't think anyone's hitting anybody, actually.

00:56:03She's just in on the scam that we have going in.

00:56:05Sharon, what you talking about, scams?

00:56:06Uh, well.

00:56:08Hey, player, we were just hired to kidnap Bill Gluckman's son, man.

00:56:11That's all we was doing.

00:56:12Gluckman?

00:56:13Is that that dude running for governor?

00:56:15You know him?

00:56:15Yeah.

00:56:16Hell yeah.

00:56:17Down with the bitches and hoes.

00:56:18I'm a vote for him.

00:56:19What, you think we ignorant just because we live in the hood?

00:56:21I know.

00:56:22That is safe.

00:56:23Hey, hey, hey.

00:56:23Hey, hey, I mean, hey, man, we would never say that, brother.

00:56:27Silence.

00:56:30Yo, we got Gluckman's son.

00:56:32Gotta be worth more alive than Dad.

00:56:34What you think?

00:56:34Gotta be.

00:56:36Grab fat back.

00:56:37I got milk, dud.

00:56:38Let's roll.

00:56:39Ow!

00:56:39I'm soft.

00:56:40Well, all of the polls say that since Brad has been out of the picture,

00:56:43we have gone up six points.

00:56:45Yeah, but we're still dead in the urban demos, though.

00:56:48Yeah.

00:56:48Gays, too?

00:56:48There's no way we can win without them.

00:56:50Mr. Gibbons?

00:56:51Yeah.

00:56:51I have a Sean on the phone for you, sir.

00:56:58Check it out, homs.

00:56:59Is that him, S, or what?

00:57:01Yeah.

00:57:01That's tech from the I-9s, homs.

00:57:03Call Cycle.

00:57:04Tell him to bring it all down.

00:57:05We're going to have ourself a little party tonight, homie.

00:57:07Mr. Gibbons, we have a real, uh, serious problem here.

00:57:12I told you no more money.

00:57:14Yes, I realize you said that, but this is- we're in really big trouble.

00:57:18Listen, fool.

00:57:20Gluckman's boy's been kidnapped for real, along with your punk-ass friends.

00:57:24Kidnapped?

00:57:25If Mr. Governor wants to see his punk-bitch baby boy alive again, I want 500 grand by tomorrow

00:57:32midnight.

00:57:34Um, well, how do I know this is real?

00:57:37What you think your act is, is this good?

00:57:39Say something.

00:57:42Please help us.

00:57:43I am so scared.

00:57:55Well?

00:57:56Okay, I'm convinced.

00:57:58Well, get my money.

00:57:59Fine, I can arrange that, but, uh-

00:58:02You got ten minutes.

00:58:04Now what?

00:58:05We wait.

00:58:07What?

00:58:08They want 500 grand or they'll kill him.

00:58:11Oh, come on!

00:58:12Oh, no!

00:58:13Oh, my God.

00:58:14Okay, this is- this is perfect.

00:58:14We're going to jail.

00:58:15Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:58:16Whoa, slow down.

00:58:17Don't panic.

00:58:18What?

00:58:18What is your idea?

00:58:19Hey!

00:58:21Don't panic.

00:58:22Just- just let me think this through here.

00:58:25You're just as guilty as any of us.

00:58:28Well, now, we- we may just have a very interesting opportunity here.

00:58:34All right, where- where are you going with this?

00:58:36Well, the negatives are obvious.

00:58:37Yeah, uh, Bill drops out of the race.

00:58:39Emotional distress.

00:58:40I can handle Bill.

00:58:41So, what are the positives?

00:58:43Well, there are just so many.

00:58:45No more Brad problem.

00:58:46Uh-huh.

00:58:47Right.

00:58:49Right, I like that.

00:58:50But with a dead son, the sympathy factor could give us a huge spike in the female and gay demos.

00:58:54Wait, I got the image.

00:58:56Bill weeping over Brad's open casket.

00:59:02Then, after grieving appropriately, he goes on the offensive.

00:59:04Bill Gluckman's war on crime.

00:59:05On drugs.

00:59:06Thanks.

00:59:06It's what's hot right now.

00:59:07Oh, that's great.

00:59:08Just what we needed.

00:59:09Help.

00:59:12Get over there.

00:59:14Who?

00:59:15Who this?

00:59:16No deal.

00:59:17Say what?

00:59:18Bill Gluckman does not make deals with criminals.

00:59:20That's it.

00:59:21His punk ass is dead.

00:59:22Well, you do what you have to do.

00:59:24And we'll do what we have to do.

00:59:26There you go.

00:59:30That was cold.

00:59:32Yo, take off the tape.

00:59:35God damn!

00:59:36That hurts like a motherfucker!

00:59:38I'm gonna get out of this.

00:59:39I'm gonna have to teach you all some manners.

00:59:40Yo, well, your daddy ain't paying.

00:59:42Yeah, yeah.

00:59:43Tell me something I don't now.

00:59:44What?

00:59:45You heard me, you half-stepping moist ass bitch.

00:59:49Excuse me?

00:59:50Oh, you're gonna do it like that?

00:59:53All right, then.

00:59:55Bring it.

00:59:55It's been brought.

00:59:56Okay, then.

00:59:58That cat's real, right?

01:00:00So then, do it.

01:00:01Put Cracker Jack out of his misery.

01:00:03Come on, y'all.

01:00:04Yeah.

01:00:04All right, do it myself.

01:00:05Get him!

01:00:06Pull the tail!

01:00:06Get him!

01:00:07Come on.

01:00:07Pull the tail!

01:00:08This fool's straight up crazy,

01:00:09and I cannot deal with this shit.

01:00:10I ain't afraid to die.

01:00:14Oh, damn.

01:00:18That's nice.

01:00:19Yeah, this is good.

01:00:20This is a giant tail.

01:00:29Y'all take this seriously, huh?

01:00:31I love you, sure.

01:00:33I love you, Phil.

01:00:33Let's have some cover, fool.

01:00:37We game!

01:00:38They don't snap!

01:00:40We game!

01:00:41They don't snap!

01:00:42What we gonna do?

01:00:43What we gonna do?

01:00:47Punks, give me them gats.

01:00:49Y'all serious crazy.

01:00:52Y'all wanna play?

01:00:53Well, then, let's play.

01:01:01Y'all know who you're dealing with?

01:01:03A Malibu's most wanted, John.

01:01:06Kid Car ain't got nothing on me!

01:01:11Ah!

01:01:20Damn.

01:01:21These special effects is the bomb.

01:01:22Hey!

01:01:24Let's go!

01:01:25Let's step!

01:01:26Let's go!

01:01:26It's safe now y'all hey yo, that was ill and y'all punk asses ain't do nothing all that buffness for no reason

01:01:50That's him

01:01:52Get over here

01:01:54Hey, where you learn that from?

01:01:56Grand Theft Auto 3

01:01:58Word, can I borrow that?

01:02:00You got a Playstation 2?

01:02:02Nah, I got Gamecast

01:02:04Gamecast?

01:02:06Well there's GameCube and then there's Dreamcast, what you got?

01:02:08Well I said I got Gamecast man, damn I can't afford it

01:02:10My bad, I'm just trying to help you out

01:02:20I'm gonna holler at you

01:02:30My wigger, my wigger

01:02:32What's up baby how you doing man?

01:02:34Yeah I got something, I got something

01:02:36I sure was B

01:02:38Oh for real?

01:02:40Yeah

01:02:42Yo you shouldn't have

01:02:44Serious moment bringing in y'all, serious moment

01:02:46Welcome to the nines baby

01:02:48Only way out now

01:02:50Is in a box

01:02:52In a box?

01:02:54In a box

01:02:56Oh in a box, right

01:03:14Good evening, I'm Hal Fishman

01:03:16We open tonight with a Channel 5 News exclusive

01:03:20A security camera captured incredible footage of gang violence tonight

01:03:24As it flared on the streets of South Central

01:03:28This hardcore gangster

01:03:30Believed to be the notorious White Kong

01:03:34Ringleader of a South Central street gang

01:03:36Fires his weapons with wanton disregard for human life or personal property

01:03:42If you have any information on the whereabouts of this man

01:03:46Call our KTLA hop line at 800-1-SNITCH

01:03:50Oh my God

01:03:52Oh my God

01:03:54Oh my God

01:03:56Oh my God

01:03:58Oh my God

01:04:00Oh my God

01:04:02Yo, that is some hardcore schnizzards

01:04:04Damn Malk, what are we gonna do?

01:04:06All right

01:04:08All right

01:04:09We're gonna bounce back to our respective cribs

01:04:10Jack our mom and dad's biggest gats

01:04:12Jet down to South Central

01:04:13And save his ass

01:04:14Word

01:04:15Word

01:04:16Word

01:04:17Hey, hey

01:04:18Bradley's been involved in a gang shooting

01:04:20What?

01:04:21Yeah

01:04:22No, no, no

01:04:23Couldn't be

01:04:24No

01:04:25Yeah, his face is all over the news

01:04:26I think I know my own son

01:04:27All right

01:04:28Well, I'm sure there's a logical explanation

01:04:30Why don't you go on upstairs, get some sleep

01:04:31And let me take care of him

01:04:32Sleep?

01:04:33No, no, he's shooting the hell out of South Central

01:04:35Come on Tom, let's go get on

01:04:36No, no, no, no

01:04:37Bill, you have a debate tomorrow in Sacramento

01:04:39The hell with the debate

01:04:41Hey, hey

01:04:42You cancel that

01:04:43And you can kiss this campaign goodbye

01:04:44Tom, you can shove the debate up your ass

01:04:46I'm not gonna lose my son over this election

01:04:48Hey, listen, Bill

01:04:49I understand you're upset

01:04:50But for once in your life

01:04:52Will you think outside the box?

01:04:54For once?

01:04:55Now this whole thing

01:04:56This whole Brad thing

01:04:57Without gangs

01:04:58We can spin it

01:04:59And make it into a positive

01:05:00Positive?

01:05:01Yes

01:05:02If he's arrested

01:05:03Or if he's injured

01:05:04We can turn it around

01:05:05So you're the victim

01:05:06You know, crime reaches everyone

01:05:07Kind of thing

01:05:08What?

01:05:09Are you trying to get votes out of this?

01:05:10I'm trying to win, Bill

01:05:11And you don't seem to care

01:05:12I'm his father

01:05:13Since when?

01:05:19Since right now

01:05:23And you're fired

01:05:32We need to brainstorm on how I get my job back

01:05:47Hello, this is OnStar

01:05:49I'm looking for a location

01:05:50Of a license number D

01:05:52Shisnit

01:05:53Shisnit

01:05:54That vehicle is at the corner of McKinley and 82nd street, sir

01:06:12What the hell are you supposed to be, robo-bitch?

01:06:14All right, monster

01:06:15What are you packing?

01:06:16This

01:06:17What the hell is that?

01:06:18My Pop's spear get

01:06:19From the yacht

01:06:20What is he hunting?

01:06:21Flipper?

01:06:22Stink you so bad

01:06:23What you got?

01:06:24Never mind

01:06:25Look, come on, let's see it

01:06:26All right, chill, chill

01:06:27Is that a freaking musket?

01:06:28Yeah, it's a freaking musket

01:06:29Shut up, man, shut up

01:06:30Shut up, you damn posers

01:06:31Haji, how about you?

01:06:32I couldn't get much, yo

01:06:33Just this

01:06:34Oh my God

01:06:35Oh my God

01:06:36What are you doing?

01:06:37What are you doing?

01:06:38What are you doing?

01:06:39What are you doing?

01:06:40What are you doing?

01:06:41What are you doing?

01:06:42Yeah, it's a freaking musket.

01:06:44Shut up, man. Shut up, you damn posers.

01:06:48Haji, how about you?

01:06:50Uh, I couldn't get much, yo. Just, uh, just this.

01:06:54Oh, my God.

01:06:59Ty, where'd you get our man?

01:07:01Yeah, Christmas present from Uncle Ahmed.

01:07:07You're seeing his bed, so may I help you?

01:07:09Hell yes, chicken head, I need a location on license plate number D, isn't it?

01:07:15That car is in the corner of the kid and the lady so much.

01:07:19Hey, what up, man?

01:07:20He's cracking in here?

01:07:21He's cracking in here.

01:07:22A lot of big hippies.

01:07:23Cadillacs and women.

01:07:24In a whole lot of southern today.

01:07:26A lot of colored folks.

01:07:28In a big cloud smoke.

01:07:29And this is when the hurricane.

01:07:31They say, break it up, stop it.

01:07:33Another woman pop it.

01:07:34The party kept going to the earth land.

01:07:36Oh, where's he going?

01:07:37Are they making a sandwich?

01:07:38Is the mayonnaise between the wheat bread?

01:07:53I'ma stop!

01:07:54I'ma stop!

01:07:55I'ma stop!

01:07:56Got him!

01:07:57Get the white bread.

01:07:58Get the black bread!

01:07:59Oh.

01:08:00Where's Peter at?

01:08:01Oh, I haven't seen, I haven't seen a thing.

01:08:02I haven't seen.

01:08:03Oh, uh, Shandra.

01:08:04Shandra, a little help please.

01:08:06Don't move.

01:08:07Don't move.

01:08:08Don't move.

01:08:09What do you know about this?

01:08:10What do you know about that?

01:08:11Oh, you know some of this crotch, huh?

01:08:12Oh, yeah.

01:08:13Uh, uh, Chandra, Chandra, a little help, please.

01:08:16Put your mouth your ass down.

01:08:17Don't move.

01:08:18What do you know about this?

01:08:20What do you know about that?

01:08:21You want some of this crotch on?

01:08:23Oh, yeah, he does.

01:08:25Get it, girl.

01:08:27Oh, you know what?

01:08:28You know, I just tested positive for G-A-M-E.

01:08:33All right, gangsta.

01:08:36Come on, girl.

01:08:37Let's do this.

01:08:38Mm, OK.

01:08:39Yeah.

01:08:40Oh, OK.

01:08:42I ain't mad at nothing.

01:08:43I want to learn.

01:08:45I want to learn.

01:08:46I like that.

01:08:47All right, I'm ready for the chocolate, love.

01:08:51Chandra?

01:08:52Yeah, it's Chandra.

01:08:54But I guess I wasn't good enough for you, huh?

01:08:56What?

01:08:57You had to creep up in the hood and get two more.

01:08:59Oh, no, she did.

01:09:00Yeah, she did.

01:09:01This no good, deadbeat, weak-ass white boy

01:09:04won't take care of little Malik.

01:09:06Malik?

01:09:06Mm-hmm.

01:09:07Or Ta-Quasia.

01:09:09Ta-Quasia?

01:09:10Or Naho-Jay.

01:09:11Naho-Jay?

01:09:12Naho-Jay?

01:09:13Oh, no, nah, that's trifling.

01:09:14Let's get the hell up out of here.

01:09:16Thank you, girl.

01:09:17No problem, ladies.

01:09:18OK, bye-bye.

01:09:20Dang!

01:09:21Why you throwing salt in my G-A-M-E?

01:09:23I am saving your dilly-white ass.

01:09:25Now come on.

01:09:26Uh-uh.

01:09:27I ain't going nowhere.

01:09:28I'm a I-9 now.

01:09:30Peep my tag.

01:09:32Oh, listen, fool.

01:09:34You listen.

01:09:35I know what you done, Chandra.

01:09:36How this whole thing is fake.

01:09:38The stick-up, the kidnap, the whole nizzy.

01:09:41Oh, damn.

01:09:43Oh, you damn.

01:09:44Why you play me, huh?

01:09:46For the money.

01:09:47Money?

01:09:48What you need money for?

01:09:50Look, fool, this may sound stupid to you,

01:09:53but not everybody has money.

01:09:55And for the people who don't, money is important.

01:09:58Oh, please, you're probably still flipping me and whatnot.

01:10:00Damn it, B-Rad, this is real.

01:10:02Tech and his crew are real.

01:10:04Oh, really?

01:10:06Well, then if Tech is real, then this gap must be real.

01:10:10And if this gap is real, then the bullets in it

01:10:13have got to be real.

01:10:14And seeing how my foot is real, this would really hurt.

01:10:18See that?

01:10:21I just shot my foot.

01:10:22Ooh.

01:10:26It's real!

01:10:28Oh, my God, this whole thing is real!

01:10:31I just shot my foot.

01:10:34I just shot my foot.

01:10:36I just shot my foot.

01:10:38Stop popping around, fool.

01:10:39Goodness.

01:10:40Oh, God.

01:10:41Oh, Sandra, I'm dying.

01:10:42This cat barely grazed you.

01:10:44I can't live.

01:10:45Lucky you such a weak guy shot.

01:10:46But it's real, son.

01:10:48This whole thing is real.

01:10:49Stop moving.

01:10:50Oh, God.

01:10:51Hey, who doing all that popping up?

01:10:53Oh.

01:10:54Uh-huh.

01:10:55Hey, what the hell?

01:10:57Hey, what up, cuz?

01:10:59Hey, Tech.

01:11:00My road dog.

01:11:02Yeah.

01:11:03Just a man I want to see.

01:11:05You know Chandra.

01:11:06Hey, what's going on, Chandra?

01:11:08Tech, I swear it is not what it looks like.

01:11:10Don't you lie to me.

01:11:11That was always my line to you, and it always was what it looked like.

01:11:13Now, what's going on with your boyfriend here?

01:11:15Hey, yo, dog.

01:11:16I'd love to kick it with you and run this whole thing.

01:11:18But I got a little business back in the booze.

01:11:20You know, a little something-something with Ray Dre and whatnot.

01:11:22So if you don't mind, I do mind.

01:11:24Oh, God.

01:11:25Wait, Tech.

01:11:26Let me explain, cuz I don't belong here.

01:11:28I just...

01:11:29What you done forgot already, fool?

01:11:31I done told you.

01:11:32It's only one way out of the I-9.

01:11:34And your E-ticket's in this here chamber.

01:11:36There it is.

01:11:37Did you see how committed he was?

01:11:38Yeah.

01:11:39That's the rage I was talking about.

01:11:42Tech, please don't be hatin'.

01:11:45I won't let you do it, Tech.

01:11:49Fine.

01:11:50Then I'll just do the both of you then.

01:12:06Damn, fool!

01:12:07You just hit my house!

01:12:09Brad?

01:12:10Pops?

01:12:11Brad?

01:12:12You okay?

01:12:13Now, really?

01:12:14And unless you seriously strapped, you about to not really be okay, too.

01:12:19Hey, guys.

01:12:20Bill Gluckman.

01:12:21Running for governor.

01:12:22We know who you are, fool.

01:12:23This dude thinks we ignorant just cuz we live down here.

01:12:25Mm-hmm.

01:12:26You better recognize.

01:12:27I don't know who you are.

01:12:28I don't know who you are, fool.

01:12:29I don't know who you are.

01:12:30I don't know who you are.

01:12:31I don't know who you are.

01:12:32I don't know who you are.

01:12:33I don't know who you are.

01:12:34I don't know who you are.

01:12:35You recognize.

01:12:36Well, I recognize.

01:12:37You know, I recognize that street violence is tearing Californians apart.

01:12:43And, fellas, California is my family.

01:12:47Oh, and here's a thought.

01:12:50Now, instead of thinking of ourselves as what set we're from, what crew you're rolling

01:12:54with, why can't we just be brothers?

01:12:58What do you say?

01:13:00Hmm.

01:13:01Guess I never thought of it like that, fool.

01:13:04See?

01:13:05See?

01:13:06Please.

01:13:07What do we say, brothers?

01:13:11Get your ass out of here.

01:13:13Don't anybody know where the goddamn driveway is?

01:13:14No!

01:13:15No!

01:13:16No!

01:13:17No!

01:13:18No!

01:13:19No!

01:13:20No!

01:13:21No!

01:13:22No!

01:13:23No!

01:13:24No!

01:13:25No!

01:13:26No!

01:13:27No!

01:13:28No!

01:13:29No!

01:13:30No!

01:13:31No!

01:13:32No!

01:13:33No!

01:13:34No!

01:13:35No!

01:13:36No!

01:13:37No!

01:13:38No!

01:13:39No!

01:13:40No!

01:13:41No!

01:13:42Before anybody ices anybody, I got something to say.

01:13:47You really weren't going to pay my ransom?

01:13:50I didn't know anything about that.

01:13:53You've got to believe me.

01:13:55That was not part of the plan.

01:13:57What was the plan?

01:13:59Send me down here to scare me white?

01:14:01I know it was stupid.

01:14:02Look, I thought I had tried everything.

01:14:03I didn't know how to deal with you anymore.

01:14:05You didn't know how to deal with me,

01:14:06because you don't know me.

01:14:08And you never cared to find out.

01:14:10Listen, I made a lot of mistakes.

01:14:12I know that.

01:14:13I'm not proud of myself.

01:14:16I wasn't there for you.

01:14:19I can't change that.

01:14:20But I always loved you.

01:14:23And I still do.

01:14:24And if you say that this is who you really are,

01:14:27I believe you.

01:14:29And I accept you.

01:14:31And from here on in, I promise to be a real father to you.

01:14:37Your talk is cheap.

01:14:39Prove it.

01:14:40I'm here, ain't I?

01:14:49Hi, Pops.

01:14:52We cool.

01:14:58Much love.

01:15:07I wish I could talk to my pops like that.

01:15:12No doubt.

01:15:14I'm going to call that nigga right now.

01:15:17Man, would you get your emotional gangsta ass together?

01:15:19We got business to end.

01:15:22Let's smoke these fools.

01:15:24Uh, tech, before we all smoke each other,

01:15:29can I say one little more thing?

01:15:31What you got to say this time?

01:15:33Kick a freestyle, moat?

01:15:37What?

01:15:38What?

01:15:39Yo, I said, what's up with all this fighting?

01:15:41We should be uniting.

01:15:42Egos need deflating.

01:15:43Gangsta, please quit hating.

01:15:45Stop.

01:15:45We ain't hen.

01:15:46We come out the coop.

01:15:47Stop.

01:15:47Sometimes I get backed up, I got to poop.

01:15:49Stop it!

01:15:51You say one more line, and I'm going to have to smoke myself.

01:15:56All right.

01:15:58But all these guests got to go.

01:16:02I'm serious, tech.

01:16:05Ain't no more guests.

01:16:08B-Rad's right.

01:16:09All this hating is whack.

01:16:15Oh!

01:16:20Ah!

01:16:21Ah!

01:16:22Ah!

01:16:23Ah!

01:16:24Ah!

01:16:25Ah!

01:16:26Ah!

01:16:27Ah!

01:16:28Ah!

01:16:29Ah!

01:16:30Ah!

01:16:31Ah!

01:16:32Ah!

01:16:33Ah!

01:16:34Ah!

01:16:35Ah!

01:16:36Ah!

01:16:37Ah!

01:16:38Ah!

01:16:39Ah!

01:16:40Ah!

01:16:41Ah!

01:16:42Ah!

01:16:43Ah!

01:16:44Ah!

01:16:45Ah!

01:16:46Ah!

01:16:47Ah!

01:16:48Ah!

01:16:49Ah!

01:16:50Ah!

01:16:51you're not listening to me you're really not listening to me look if this ain't rebuilt by

01:17:06the time moms get back it's on you you're gonna get the punishment oh you're gonna laugh at me

01:17:12you're gonna play me you know you're playing i have two witnesses who were at the scene of

01:17:17the explosion gentlemen can you tell us what happened oh yeah yeah it was crazy yo i mean

01:17:22all these crazy fools came over here strapped with their nines right and i was just like telling the

01:17:26brothers let's talk about this right let's let's talk this out can't we all just get along let's

01:17:32find a common ground i was trying to keep the peace really the explosion was just a metaphor

01:17:39a metaphor for anger within our hearts because the white man okay thank you bloodbath and tree

01:17:48all this mayhem is rumored to have been caused by the mysterious white kong who is still at large

01:17:55this is sunyi baxter hernandez reporting from south central

01:18:00uh sorry sir are you all right you mean besides the fact that i just been harpooned

01:18:07yes no i'm confused about what i don't know what was real and what wasn't

01:18:17what was it

01:18:24well i definitely could use a little bit more of that reality

01:18:32what's up i thought the kitchen was open for business it is open but you don't put your

01:18:44hands in a sister's hair damn fool my bad

01:18:49all right here we go

01:18:53chandra's salon is now officially open for business

01:18:58tickets be out to the coat damn she got in a fight with her hair dryer and the hair dryer won

01:19:08hold up girl i just want to thank you you the only person that accepted me for who i really am

01:19:16i appreciate that you also kidnapped me carjacked me and tried to scare me white

01:19:22i'm gonna let that one go

01:19:25come here boo

01:19:26come here boo

01:19:27come here boo

01:19:28ooh

01:19:29yeah

01:19:30my own little white gong

01:19:31that's right

01:19:32ugh

01:19:33white gong

01:19:34its official bill bluckman is california's next governor

01:19:40let's go live now to the big celebration

01:19:43here he is right here y'all

01:19:45man of the hour

01:19:47bill bluckman y'all

01:19:49go bluck yourself

01:19:51play that broken music white boy

01:19:56lay down the floor and play that broken music till you die

01:20:02great we're gonna take it to a whole new level

01:20:04play that broken music

01:20:06we're gonna take it to the bar

01:20:07we're gonna take the bar

01:20:11we're gonna take it to the bar

01:20:16we're gonna take it to the bar

01:20:19What the f**k was that?

01:20:23Yeah, you got something to represent?

01:20:25You got something for your...

01:20:26Yeah, you got something to prove to yourself?

01:20:30Come on, Jay don't laugh, mother f**k!

01:20:32Hey, ain't he down...

01:20:33Yeah, bloodbath, yeah, you damn fool!

01:20:35You, you damn, damn fool!

01:20:37Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

01:20:40On that weak f**k from the club.

01:20:42Oh, you think I'm playing with you?

01:20:43Open the door! Open the door!

01:20:45Hey, yo, dawg, you know I love this ticket with you.

01:20:49Hey, yo, dawg, I love to kick it with you.

01:20:57You think I'm cute?

01:20:59Look at me, man.

01:21:01Look at me, that bitch!

01:21:06Hey, yo, dawg, I love to kick it with you.

01:21:10Hey, yo, dawg, I love to kick it with you and...

01:21:16Hey, yo, dawg, I love to kick it with you and running so this thing,

01:21:18but I got a little business back in the booth.

01:21:20Hey!

01:21:21Oh!

01:21:34What the f**k is that?

01:21:35Come on!

01:21:36Yo!

01:21:37You got something to prove to yourself?

01:21:39Hmm.

01:21:40Yo!

01:21:41Say it, don't spray up your f**k.

01:21:42I'm going to get you.

01:21:44Okay.

01:21:46Coming from Malibu.

01:21:47B-Red is a Jew, but I like him anyway,

01:21:49because that's how we do up in this ish.

01:21:52You know, we keep it real.

01:21:55Biatch!

01:21:56Again.

01:21:57Biatch!

01:21:58Again!

01:21:59Biatch!

01:22:00Gimme it!

01:22:01I'm gonna get you from that.

01:22:04Wait!

01:22:05I'm gonna get you from the show.

01:22:07Yo Jewel,

01:22:08this fine dime is hooking me up with Dr. Dre,

01:22:10Master P,

01:22:11P diddy,

01:22:12Jay-Z,

01:22:13hmmm,

01:22:14big boy himself!

01:22:15Malibu Teh, huh?

01:22:16That's what I call blowin' up for your ass.

01:22:26Hey, yeah.

01:22:28Hey, this my homies right there.

01:22:30He talkin' about how we gonna get them girls.

01:22:32Hey, I like that little Filipino one right there.

01:22:35You know what I'm sayin'?

01:22:37Yeah.

01:22:38She got front, back, inside to side.

01:22:41Yeah.

01:22:42All good.

01:22:43Man, this is a hundred degrees outside, but I don't give a fuck.

01:22:47Tryin' to find a freak with a big ol' butt.

01:22:49Cute and thick, rich and mixed.

01:22:51Full of chips, ass and lips, fingertips and hips.

01:22:54Bad lil' fang hangin' at the ocean.

01:22:57Malibu-style, Pacific coastin'.

01:22:59Waitin' on the pimp and the sail in.

01:23:01In them gang ba- just bailed in.

01:23:04Do that with em, get em, sit em, sit em.

01:23:07And tell em I'll be right with em.

01:23:09Crackin' em, smackin' em, white or black in the back of them.

01:23:12And it's spectacular.

01:23:13Treatin' em, never misleatin' em.

01:23:15Bleatin' em, poppin' em.

01:23:16Stoppin' em, beatin' em.

01:23:17Eatin' em, beatin' em.

01:23:18Treatin' em.

01:23:19Quando la putin' em.

01:23:20And lettin' em mingle with freedom and freedom.

01:23:22My other lil' freaks is so executive.

01:23:24Grew up with a gang of sh**.

01:23:26Which I never did.

01:23:27Neither did my homeboy E.

01:23:29So watch how the game gon' sing.

01:23:31We gon' watch the girls take their pearls.

01:23:34And now we sittin' on top of the world.

01:23:36Comin' from the house that's haunted with extras on it.

01:23:39And now we motherf***in' out of booze most wanted.

01:23:41Skinny as f**k with a tank top on.

01:23:43If I come correct, I'ma take something home.

01:23:46It's been a while since I hit the water.

01:23:48Where the women hang out to the early mornin'.

01:23:50And I can see the sunset.

01:23:52F**k has been mackin' all day, but we ain't done yet.

01:23:55Hoppin' the picnic, poppin' the dick.

01:23:57Niggas stop in the parking lot to hit the dipstick.

01:24:00Women almost naked.

01:24:01So I post up on the car like checkin'.

01:24:04Just breakin' they neck.

01:24:06Starin' at it.

01:24:07Steady lookin' back.

01:24:09It's a s**t way to get away.

01:24:11I been workin' all week.

01:24:12Now it's time to play.

01:24:14So light the blunt up.

01:24:15We crack a six pack.

01:24:16And have a seat at the beach and get back.

01:24:18Girls, girls.

01:24:19Play chickens be out the coop.

01:24:21You know what I'm sayin'?

01:24:22They be awesome.

01:24:24You know what I'm sayin'?

01:24:25Yeah.

01:24:26Can you help us buy some girls?

01:24:28Hey, I wanna give a shout out to all my homies in the green one up.

01:24:31You know what I'm sayin'?

01:24:32Come on, LBC.

01:24:34Straight to the one.

01:24:36They be lookin' for Malibu.

01:24:39Uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah.

01:24:43Killer Cali, baby.

01:24:45Murder Mali.

01:24:47Uh.

01:24:48One time.

01:24:49Most warmer than Malibu.

01:24:51Uh.

01:24:52I'm just bumpin' this gang's the group.

01:24:54Check it.

01:24:55Gang's the phone got me in the mood.

01:24:57Malibu.

01:24:58Malibu.

01:24:59Rollin' down the PCH highway.

01:25:01It's my way.

01:25:02You know how we do it.

01:25:03Yo, I got the flyaway tents on the beach.

01:25:06You all be out of reach.

01:25:07Comin' on here trying to suck on me like you's a leech.

01:25:10But listen.

01:25:11Yo, I'm about to christen these new rhymes you hear on your dome piece.

01:25:15Come on out my eyeballs screamin' at you.

01:25:18Runnin' on things here in the M.L.

01:25:20Bill, bill, bill, bill, bill.

01:25:21Don't swarm it in Malibu.

01:25:23I'm just bumpin' this next to group.

01:25:25Gang's the phone got me in the mood.

01:25:28Where you from, boo?

01:25:29Where you from, boo?

01:25:30Malibu.

01:25:32Hey, yeah, what's up?

01:25:34This is B-Red G.

01:25:35Malibu.

01:25:36You know what I'm sayin'?

01:25:37I'm kickin' it with Ghetto Retro.

01:25:39You know what I'm sayin'?

01:25:40From the Oaktown.

01:25:41This is Oaktown.

01:25:42I'm kickin' it with Malibu.

01:25:44You know what I'm sayin'?

01:25:45The 3-1-0.

01:25:46With the...

01:25:47Hey, yo, what's the area code, yo?

01:25:48The 5-1-0.

01:25:49The 5-1-0.

01:25:50The 5-1-0.

01:25:51The 3-1-0.

01:25:52Just here we go.

01:25:53Here, B-Red boy.

01:25:54You a fool cuz.

01:25:56You got these blows, boy.

01:25:57I'm so glad you came to fool with the ugly fingers and...

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