- 2 days ago
Warren's Vortex Season 1 Episode 2
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#ShowMovieUSA
π Please join our official group to watch the full series for free, as quickly as possible.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Tumbling through an interdimensional vortex, Warren and Lucy discover twisted versions
00:06of their own world, always hoping the next one will be home.
00:18Oh, I hate when it does that.
00:22Where's this?
00:23I don't know, but at least there's no fridges trying to kill us.
00:27Warren and Lucy, you are out of bounds.
00:30You will return immediately or face...
00:33Elimination.
00:34Hey, go! Run!
01:00And then this time!
01:10Now drive, let's understand!
01:11In a shock reveal, Warren and Lucy have re-entered the game.
01:29Oh, a little more.
01:33Oh, yeah.
01:34Oh, yeah.
01:36What happened to your tracksuits?
01:41Hey, I'm getting the feeling that we're in some kind of game.
01:46Dad, I hope I inherit your power of perception.
01:51Guys, this is no game.
01:56This is reality.
02:11No.
02:12This is a fantasy.
02:13I'm going to try.
02:14Let's go.
02:19Let's go.
02:23Let's go.
02:24Contestants from number 23 Hairewa Street, welcome to the first challenge.
02:48Ah, might be in some real trouble, eh?
02:50But at least there are no evil fridges.
02:52I think we'll just play along until we can work out what's going on.
02:55Dad, have you ever seen Squid Game?
02:58Is that the fishing one with Clark Gaffer in it?
03:00Whakarungo mai korua.
03:02In your teams, you must choose one person to be blindfolded.
03:06The other will direct their partner down a path using only the power of their voices.
03:12First team to raise their flag at the end wins.
03:16Oh, and try not to step on the polygards of death.
03:22Um, excuse me, can you repeat the first bit please?
03:26I was miles away.
03:28So, um, we were given these tracksuits to wear and socks and shoes and then, um, we were
03:38driven to the place where the maze was set up.
03:40That's the game.
03:42There was a sound and we started the game.
03:46Nekaki Maui, Warren.
03:51Maui.
03:52I am going Maui.
03:53Wait, Maui's left, is it?
03:56Maybe you haven't even moved.
03:57You know, I get confused with left and right, do you?
03:59Ah!
04:01Pick up Ma, that's electrified.
04:02Well, that's why I said left.
04:04Warren and Hine are off to a shocking start as Warren struggles to understand the complicated
04:10notion of left and right.
04:12Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:15Left, left, left, like I left you!
04:18Hey!
04:19Yeah, okay now.
04:20Turn 37 degrees north east and take five half yard strides.
04:24What?
04:25Just use normal instructions.
04:27Not my fault you didn't take nautical training.
04:29Hey, no one has taken nautical training.
04:33Yes, Beau, that's perfect.
04:35Now walk forward for two medium steps.
04:39Beau's heart rate seems to rise every time Lucy speaks.
04:44Oh, ignore that!
04:45Beau's cheeks are flushed red.
04:47Are those the signs of young love?
04:50Shut up, Sauron!
04:52You massive eyehole!
04:54Eyehole.
04:56Focus!
04:57Piss!
04:58Five steps.
05:01Eri ma ngΔhi koi.
05:06Stop!
05:07What? What? What?
05:08You're about to step on a polygon.
05:09Poly who?
05:11I don't know anything about reality TV, to be honest.
05:15I accidentally watched Naked Attraction once.
05:18People weren't very attractive, but they were very naked.
05:22I'm tired of being told what to do by you.
05:25For the last 20 years you keep telling me what to do.
05:28Yeah, and you were blind for those 20 years as well, so nothing's changed.
05:31Oh, ha ha ha.
05:32I see what you did there.
05:34You know what?
05:34For 20 years, you tell me, oh, you can't cut your toenails in the kitchen.
05:38For 20 years, you tell me, oh, leave the toilet lid down.
05:42For 20 years, you tell me, we can't do it in the frozen produce section at the supermarket because it's...
05:47unhygienic.
05:48Let me finish, because it's unhygienic.
05:51Well, you know what?
05:52I can do whatever I want to do, okay?
05:54I don't have to stand right here, because I'm going to stand right here.
05:59He's gone!
06:05Uh-oh.
06:06Murray is our first contestant to be eliminated.
06:10When Murray and I broke up, I decided he was dead to me.
06:14And now he actually is dead.
06:18Sorry, does anybody have, like, one to three bottles of wine handy?
06:21I smell a conspiracy there, because if you think...
06:29My body's disappeared.
06:31What, you've taken my body?
06:32As if zapping us with lasers wasn't enough, and now you're taking...
06:35It's the green tracksuit on the green screen.
06:43We're going to have to win this game to open the vortex, aren't we?
06:46Why did it have to be reality TV?
06:48I'd rather walk barefoot across Lego than watch reality TV.
06:51Let alone be in one.
06:54What the heck happened to you guys in the vortex, hmm?
06:59Oh, wait.
07:01You're a different Warren and Lucy, aren't you?
07:04Now, we're THE Warren and Lucy.
07:06Yeah, the best Warren and Lucy.
07:08Five stars.
07:09We'll not disappoint.
07:10Whatever.
07:11So, can you be Basil's position for us?
07:14We don't have time for this.
07:15Hey, all you need to know is that Aotearoa got taken off of by a big corporation and turned it into one big, ugly reality TV show.
07:22Right now, they're probably subtitling every single word we say.
07:29So, this is happening in every backyard?
07:32It's my wrinkly butt, big brother.
07:35Not Mrs. Schrodinger!
07:36Oh, now the cat's using her ashes as a litter tree.
07:46Bad cat!
07:48Some sneaky players have emerged.
07:51It seems an alliance is forming between Hine, Warren and Lucy.
07:56It's not an alliance.
07:57We're whanau.
07:58Yeah.
07:58Yeah, you tell them alternate anymore.
08:01Thanks, alternate, babe.
08:02Contestants who are still alive, make your way to tribal council.
08:10Here's some shots you've already seen, but have probably already forgotten.
08:14Right!
08:15Here!
08:18And then it was the air break.
08:20Contestants, you must vote for someone to be eliminated.
08:27Um, can I vote for people who say, hashtag not all men?
08:30Let the voting begin.
08:31The votes have been counted.
08:49The first person voted out of the game at number 23 Haidewa Street, and the second person to be eliminated is...
08:59Moral.
09:01Oh, my God!
09:10I've got a few things to say.
09:12First of all, R.I.P. Murray.
09:15He may have been a wet fart of a husband, but he was a good man.
09:19Second of all, Beau, you will always be my baby boy.
09:22And I would like to say that I am extremely proud of how I conducted myself in this game.
09:28I stayed true to myself.
09:30I was honest.
09:32I was respectful to my fellow contestants.
09:35So you can all suck my big fat.
09:37The game has spoken.
09:45It's room makeover time.
09:47Contestants must makeover their rooms, but they'll only have 60 seconds.
09:53We have to makeover this entire room in 60 seconds?
09:59It takes me longer just to put my jeans on.
10:01I could help.
10:02Oh, shut up, alternate, Beau.
10:05I have been to every design class for real estate beginners my work had to offer.
10:11I know how to mix patterns and create a feature wall.
10:13How can a wall be a feature?
10:16It is a structural necessity invented by the Bavarian Illuminati in the 18th century.
10:21What do you think of these bad boys?
10:22Hmm.
10:23So this challenge seems way less dangerous than the last one.
10:26Shh, don't drink that.
10:28And there's just one more thing.
10:30While you're carrying out the challenge, the rooms will be slowly filling up with poisonous
10:36gas.
10:37Fire up.
10:38There it is.
10:39Good luck, teams.
10:40Your time starts now.
10:41What are you doing?
10:42It's the best way to get the ideal hang.
10:43I'm just going to find out where the studs are.
10:44We have 60 seconds.
10:45Just put it on the wall.
10:46Well, it's going to be all over the place.
10:47I'm just saying, Bav, where did I put that hammer?
10:48Oh, yep.
10:49Oh, yep.
10:50Oh, yep.
10:51Oh, yep.
10:52Oh, yep.
10:53Oh, yep.
10:54Oh, yep.
10:55Oh, yep.
10:56Oh, yep.
10:57Oh, yep.
10:58Oh, yep.
10:59Oh, yep.
11:00Oh, yep.
11:01Oh, yep.
11:02Oh, yep.
11:03Oh, yep.
11:04Oh, yep.
11:05Oh, yep.
11:06Oh, yep.
11:07Come here.
11:08The chair.
11:09Oh, yep.
11:10Oh, yep.
11:11Oh, yep.
11:12Oh, yep.
11:13Oh, yep.
11:14Oh, yep.
11:15Oh, yep.
11:16Oh, yep.
11:17Oh, yep.
11:18Oh, yep.
11:19Oh, yep.
11:20Oh, yep.
11:21I'm coming.
11:22Oh, yep.
11:23Babe, is there a pencil over there?
11:26All right.
11:27It's just a light cushion chop in the middle with the side of your hand.
11:31Hi-yah.
11:32Here we go.
11:33Give it a go.
11:34Darren!
11:35It's a pillow.
11:36Be a masseuse, not a chiropractor.
11:38Go.
11:39Go paint that wall apricot.
11:41Right now.
11:42Don't forget the paint.
11:44I'm so angry Darren, honestly.
11:48Does it look over me?
11:49I don't know.
11:50I don't think this can go wrong.
11:51I think this could be it Warren.
11:55Does it look hard for me?
11:59I don't know.
12:02I don't think we can go home.
12:04I think this could be it, Warren.
12:07Honey, shut your mouth.
12:10Excuse me?
12:11I mean, cover your mouth and hold your breath.
12:17Lucy, cover your mouth or something and hold your breath.
12:25Yeah, it's all about how you control the roller
12:29to give a smooth and structured finish.
12:31Of course, you don't want to leave a wet edge.
12:33No one cares if you painted a wall, Mr Mansplainer.
12:37I'm the one that made this room come alive.
12:48Warren and Hine went the shabby chic route,
12:51but only got as far as the shabby.
12:55Lucy and Bo have gone for the car crash aesthetic.
12:59Unfortunately, they've nailed it.
13:01And they're our worst performing team.
13:04They're our frontrunners for elimination.
13:07Ian and Darren have pulled off a stunner.
13:11Beautiful use of colour really ties in this contemporary look.
13:15These are clearly our frontrunners.
13:18But hang on.
13:19Oh, no.
13:20It looks like they've been overcome by the toxic gas.
13:24Their room took our breath away.
13:26Looks like theirs as well.
13:28Lucy and Bo are safe.
13:33Dad, we need to be on the same team.
13:36If I stay with puppy boy over there,
13:37I'll be ash in minutes.
13:39I say we ditch our partners and form our own team.
13:42What about your mum?
13:43She's not my mum.
13:44And she's not your wife.
13:45Yeah, but she looks really good in that tracksuit though.
13:49Like...
13:50Dad, focus.
13:52I'll go tell Bo, you go tell mum.
13:54Fake mum.
13:55Oh, no.
14:00Bo has left the gaming area and will be eliminated.
14:03No, I was just chasing a butterfly.
14:05Eliminated!
14:07Fuck!
14:12At least you don't have to tell them you're dumping them.
14:16Contestants, there are now no more teams.
14:19We've moved on to individual challenges
14:22to find one single winner.
14:24Well, I don't have to break up with anyone anymore.
14:27Dad, one single winner.
14:31You two.
14:33How do I?
14:35Ooh.
14:36It's time for the Feed Your Fear Challenge.
14:40Yum.
14:41Oh, no.
14:41We're going to have to eat gross animal parts, aren't we?
14:44Oh.
14:45Oh, well, we can cope with that, Lucy.
14:46We can cope with any vile, disgusting thing
14:48that they put in front of us.
14:49In a shock twist, we're bringing in a wild card entry to the game.
14:55The winner of the game at number 21, Heidi Wa Street,
15:00Officer Phil Doyle.
15:03G'day.
15:04G'day.
15:05Bon appetites, eh?
15:06Bon appetites.
15:08Ooh, something smells good, and it ain't my aftershave.
15:11Contestants, prepare to face your culinary fears.
15:19Remove your lids.
15:24Hinamua must eat three-week-old raw fish from tail to head.
15:28Oh, no.
15:30Lucy must eat sheep droppings.
15:32Oh, what are the odds?
15:34Warren has to eat pig sphincters.
15:37What a bummer, mate.
15:39That didn't look so bad.
15:41Wait, I'll suspect her again.
15:42Bumhole.
15:44You monsters.
15:46While our wild card Phil has to eat a delicious jam scone.
15:53Oh, no.
15:53Oh, come on.
15:55I've got to eat a bumhole.
15:56Bottoms up, Harrison.
15:57Oh.
15:58Oh, wait, there's no cream here.
16:00Ooh, thank you very much.
16:01You'll have 60 seconds to eat everything on your plates.
16:06Are you ready, contestants?
16:08Ready.
16:14These are way chewier than I expected, and no flavour.
16:17Wait.
16:18My steak is to eat hot sauce.
16:24Dad, I can't do this.
16:26Want some hot sauce?
16:27No.
16:27No.
16:31Babe, what are you doing?
16:32I'm not eating one.
16:33Lucy, if you eat one of those, then I'll be eliminated and not you.
16:36But, um...
16:37Lucy, koha, Harrison.
16:38You do as you're told, and you eat that poo.
16:42I can't.
16:43It's poo.
16:46Eat the poo, Papa.
16:48I'll be okay.
16:49Time's up.
16:59It looks like Hina hasn't even touched her fish, so she'll be eliminated.
17:11What's wrong with him?
17:13I don't know.
17:14But wait.
17:16It seems Phil has an undisclosed jam allergy.
17:20Oh, no.
17:22Poor guy's dying.
17:25Yep.
17:26At least I got to watch you eat butt moles, Harrison.
17:29Yep.
17:30And it was glory.
17:32And gone.
17:33Sadly, Hina will still need to be eliminated.
17:42Eh?
17:43What?
17:43That's not fair.
17:45Oh, my God.
17:45Oh.
17:48Oh.
17:49I hate it when your wife, who's not really your wife, gets, uh, blasted off the face of
17:55the earth.
17:56It really dampens the mood.
17:58Just two players remain.
18:01One will win.
18:02One will be eliminated.
18:06Okay.
18:06Honey, listen.
18:09Your mum, who's not your mum, sacrificed herself for you.
18:13So now it's my turn.
18:14Okay?
18:15No, no.
18:16You have to win, and you have to make it home.
18:19So I'm going to make damn sure that I fail.
18:21No matter what the next challenge is, I'm going to be the worst in the world at it.
18:25Okay?
18:25I'm going to fail like no one's ever failed before.
18:29Welcome to the final backyard barbecue challenge.
18:32Oh, no.
18:35Contestants, you're required to cook the perfect medium rare steak.
18:39Of course.
18:40And who will judge the perfect barbecue steak?
18:42Who?
18:46Stanky Steve, creator of Stanky Steve's world-famous hot sauce.
18:50Stanky Steve's hot sauce is stanktastic.
18:53May cause explosive diarrhea.
18:55Oh, no.
18:56If it don't stank, it ain't in the bank.
18:59Who is that?
19:04He's only the greatest barbecue who ever lived next to Liam Neeson's personal chef.
19:09Please welcome your second judge, Liam Neeson's personal chef, Mike O'Shaughnessy.
19:16I feel like I'm being ripped apart by joy and sadness.
19:21Grilla's ready?
19:22Ready.
19:24Yep.
19:25And grill.
19:26Uh...
19:27What a big manor.
19:38Manner.
19:40Have you got a good seer on one side?
19:45I think so.
19:46Good. Another two minutes and then take it off.
19:49What are you gonna do?
19:52I'm gonna burn my steak.
19:55But you, you have to watch that like a hawk.
19:57And in approximately 35 seconds, you're gonna take it off the grill.
20:00Do you understand?
20:02I understand.
20:03It's been a pleasure grilling with you, Lucy Harrison.
20:16Thank you darling.
20:30Warren's steak is more eye-watering than mouth-watering.
20:35It sucks.
20:37Lucy must bring her plate up to the judges.
20:46Staying with me.
21:15Stank-tastic.
21:18Oh my God, you actually liked it.
21:28You know, I'm quite taken with this.
21:31Well done.
21:32And finally, Warren must bring his plate forward for judgement.
21:45He'll watch the camera for a little bit.
21:48They got a new face.
21:50That's where they let them go.
21:51You are fine.
21:52They're fine.
21:53You're fine.
21:54Boom boom boom!
21:55I'm not going to work my family.
21:58You know, we'll be fine.
22:00What if the dog is fine?
22:02You didn't have to quit the enemy.
22:03Maybe he's fine.
22:05I'm not going to stop it.
22:06It's a littleuser.
22:07What if you do?
22:08I don't want to stop the enemy.
22:09I don't want to stop it.
22:10You don't want to stop it.
22:11I have tasted roadkill after a forest fire
22:21and tasted better than this
22:24I'm not eating that, no way
22:27And so salty
22:30This is quite literally the saddest day of my entire life
22:35Thank you
22:41The winner of the barbecue challenge is
22:48Lucy
22:52Hey, thank you for burning your steak for me, Dad
22:58I know it was really hard for you
23:00It's one of the hardest things I've had to do in my entire life
23:04But I'd do it all again
23:06Because for you, sweetheart, I'd do anything
23:09Warren, it's elimination time
23:12Whoa, how did that happen?
23:19This, us supporting each other must be the key to opening the vortex
23:22All right, honey, the bloody's joined along with it
23:24Just run astray
23:25He's been taken
23:31We're not back
23:34I'm pretty sure this is not our home
23:37Three bedroom, two bathroom
23:40Central, very reluctant cell
23:42What war can you ask for?
23:44It's a picket fence haven't
23:45This is a cahone world?
23:46They're robots, chase it!
23:50And we still can't afford to have a roof over our heads
23:52We live in boxes
23:54You live in what?
23:55Oh, we're in...
24:00Oh, we're in...
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