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00:00:01This train is bound for heaven and I'm storming Peter's gate
00:00:06On that train, that old train, that glorious train
00:00:11This train is bound for heaven and I'm storming Peter's gate
00:00:29On that train, that old train, the forty train
00:00:34On that platform in the morning sun
00:00:38We'll leave a happy gate
00:00:41On that train, that old train, the forty train
00:00:45On that train, that old train, you all know the day may
00:00:52On that train, that old train, the forty train
00:00:57All right.
00:01:27Man, this summer's gonna fry my scrotal.
00:01:57Let's get a beer.
00:02:00You can't get beer.
00:02:02Want to watch me?
00:02:03Hey, what do you think of that blue car right there?
00:02:05What, that?
00:02:06Yeah.
00:02:06You are not driving up to college in those wheels, okay?
00:02:11Yeah, well, I may not be getting into college, but the psych department's impacted.
00:02:18Hey, buddy, of course you're gonna get in.
00:02:19You're going to college, all right?
00:02:21But just not in that.
00:02:22That thing has been on sale for going on three years now for one reason.
00:02:27Baby's got a poon deflector shield, okay?
00:02:29Come on.
00:02:31Just don't worry so much, okay?
00:02:33My grandpa told me he used to do this all the time when he was a kid.
00:02:37Oh, he told me a joke.
00:02:38Okay.
00:02:40Why does a dog lick his balls?
00:02:42Because he can't.
00:02:43No.
00:02:43Because have you ever tasted a dog's balls?
00:02:46They're delicious.
00:02:49That's not how the joke goes.
00:02:51I know that.
00:02:52But that's why grandpa's a genius, okay?
00:02:54He takes jokes that you know, and then he gives them alternate endings.
00:02:58All right?
00:02:59That's funny.
00:03:00It's weirder.
00:03:02Hey, Ken, Marty.
00:03:05Honey.
00:03:06Look.
00:03:07What?
00:03:09Susie's.
00:03:10Hey, ladies.
00:03:16Hi.
00:03:17Hi.
00:03:18Hey.
00:03:19Do you want a beer?
00:03:21Come on.
00:03:22Sure.
00:03:23No.
00:03:23Julia, come on.
00:03:24Give it to me.
00:03:25I'll finish it later.
00:03:40Bye.
00:03:48Bye.
00:03:49Bye.
00:03:49Bye.
00:03:54Now, boys, I can't sell you this beer.
00:03:56No, sir.
00:03:57In the state of Illinois, it is illegal for minors to purchase beer products, imitation or otherwise.
00:04:04Ken, Marty, you can't get drunk on near beer, okay?
00:04:07So give me a goddamn break.
00:04:08Now, just get, both of you.
00:04:12Goddamn white trash.
00:04:15What'd you say?
00:04:16The other day, your mama comes in here, bought beer on a Sunday before noon.
00:04:24Trash comes from trash.
00:04:25All right, all right, all right.
00:04:28Okay, okay, okay, all right.
00:04:30I'm fine.
00:04:31Okay.
00:04:31I'm fine.
00:04:32Now, let's go.
00:04:33You'll see us again.
00:04:34Fuck yourself in the ass, Kenworthy.
00:04:36Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.
00:04:40Man, I'm going to miss this one.
00:04:43We had many good times together.
00:04:45Teens feel inadequate to cope with situations.
00:04:48They may become angry.
00:04:50Managing this anger may require therapy.
00:04:52I require therapy.
00:04:58Mikey, no offense to your chosen profession, but if you ask me, psychology causes people
00:05:04to have mental problems, okay?
00:05:06How do you figure?
00:05:08Well, I mean, I figure because before there was psychology, did anyone go to psychologists?
00:05:16I don't think so, okay?
00:05:17You know, Lenny, I really don't think we should be doing this.
00:05:25Come on.
00:05:25Oh, too late, okay?
00:05:28That ass in there called us trailer trash.
00:05:30Now, I promised you a beer, and I intended one for your mom, and a lake never breaks his
00:05:34promises.
00:05:35Now, turn around and give me a minute.
00:05:37Give me a minute.
00:05:45Goodbye, darling.
00:05:46Remember the good times?
00:06:11One smoke bomb military issue.
00:06:14Let's roll.
00:06:15Oh, shit.
00:06:16Oh, shit.
00:06:16Oh, shit.
00:06:17Oh, shit.
00:06:18Oh, shit.
00:06:19Oh, shit.
00:06:20Oh, shit.
00:06:21Oh, shit, Lenny.
00:06:22That blow doll's on fire.
00:06:23I thought you said that was a smoke bomb.
00:06:24Well, I wish it was an exact science, Mikey.
00:06:25I did.
00:06:26Oh, my God.
00:06:27There's a woman in there.
00:06:28Oh, don't worry, ma'am.
00:06:29I'll get you out.
00:06:30Holy shit.
00:06:31In your mouth.
00:06:32In your mouth.
00:06:33In your mouth.
00:06:34In your mouth.
00:06:35In your mouth.
00:06:36In your mouth.
00:06:37In your mouth.
00:06:38In your mouth.
00:06:39In your mouth.
00:06:40Oh, shit.
00:06:41In your mouth.
00:06:42In your mouth.
00:06:43In your mouth.
00:06:44In your mouth.
00:06:45In your mouth.
00:06:46In your mouth.
00:06:47In your mouth.
00:06:48Come on.
00:06:49Let's go.
00:06:50Oh, God, no.
00:06:51Oh, Jesus Christ, Len.
00:06:52Kenworthy's on fire.
00:06:53Big deal.
00:06:54Ho-ho's or ding-dongs?
00:06:55What?
00:06:56Put me out.
00:06:57Ho-ho's or ding-dongs?
00:06:58Which one does your mom like better?
00:06:59You better be Twinkies, cause I'm getting them, fellas.
00:07:01What are you doing?
00:07:02I thought we were just getting beer.
00:07:04Yeah, we're gonna risk incarceration for near beer and Twinkies.
00:07:07That's called stupid, man.
00:07:08Just trying to...
00:07:09Come on.
00:07:10Hey, please.
00:07:11Get some water off.
00:07:12Get him.
00:07:13You're not thieves, okay?
00:07:14I'm paying for my near beer.
00:07:16You, man.
00:07:19You stop.
00:07:20Why?
00:07:21Look, the cops are here.
00:07:22Hey, hey, hey.
00:07:23Don't panic, Mr. Psychology.
00:07:24They ain't seen us there.
00:07:25Those are the guys that burned my debt.
00:07:27Go.
00:07:28Come on.
00:07:29We gotta go.
00:07:30Now we gotta go.
00:07:31Now we gotta go.
00:07:32Stop, you little shit fuckers.
00:07:37Okay.
00:07:38Okay.
00:07:39We surrender.
00:07:40Stop firing.
00:07:41Did you fire us for stealing near beer?
00:07:43We wasn't shooting at you, you little shit head.
00:07:45We were shooting off to the side just to scare you.
00:07:50What are you...
00:07:51What are you talking about, Kyle?
00:07:54You...
00:07:55You wasn't shooting right at him, were you, Darren?
00:07:57Of course I was.
00:07:58Come on.
00:07:59What am I supposed to do?
00:08:00I see you firing away.
00:08:01I joined in.
00:08:02That's my job.
00:08:03Ain't your job to execute shoplifters.
00:08:04What's wrong with you, man?
00:08:05Jesus Christ.
00:08:06Why don't you just give me a hand signal next time?
00:08:07We're just cops, Nelson.
00:08:08I'll give you a signal next time.
00:08:09I'll punch you right in your nose, you scoopy shit.
00:08:10Don't let me know, you scoopy shit.
00:08:11Don't let me know.
00:08:12You scoopy shit.
00:08:13Don't let me know, you scoopy shit.
00:08:15Well, let's get it right to it, shall we?
00:08:38Your Honor, my client, my clients have received a copy of the complaint.
00:08:52Their true names appear thereon and they waive a formal, formal reading of the charges.
00:09:04They enter a plea of guilty.
00:09:08Wait a minute, Counselor, did you say guilty or not guilty?
00:09:12Just a moment, please.
00:09:18Not guilty, Your Honor.
00:09:20Fine.
00:09:22Bail, recommendations?
00:09:23I think that got to be...
00:09:24Judge, in light of the nature of the crimes, arson, public endangerment and staging a false
00:09:30homicide, I think that $50,000 is reasonable.
00:09:33We request $45, Your Honor.
00:09:39Your Honor, since my son and his friend have no prior record, I think that bail is unnecessary.
00:09:47Is that right?
00:09:48This was a very serious crime.
00:09:50On the other hand, we have no dead bodies here.
00:09:55It compels me to let these boys out on their own recognizance.
00:10:00Your Honor.
00:10:01Uh, uh, uh, Mrs. Bronco, can you tell me that under your motherly guidance, these two stand
00:10:09a chance to make something of their self?
00:10:12Oh, yes, Your Honor.
00:10:13My son will be attending college in the fall.
00:10:16Well, court rules that there's no bail at this time.
00:10:19The next, uh, court session in this matter will happen on August 5th.
00:10:25You understand anything of what I said?
00:10:27Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:10:30Wonderful.
00:10:32Next case.
00:10:34Pail versus Bobby Calhoun.
00:10:36No chewing gum.
00:10:37Mom, please don't be mad.
00:10:39I don't want to talk to you right now, Mikey.
00:10:42Our lawyer was hammered.
00:10:44Well, the sober attorneys are out of our price range, especially now.
00:10:47Well, what do you mean, Mrs. B?
00:10:50I got fired from the retirement home today.
00:10:56Mom, come on.
00:10:57I'm sorry.
00:11:02So why'd they fire you?
00:11:06It's a long story.
00:11:08Let's deal with your problem first.
00:11:10Well, I sort of have a solution to the problem, Mrs. B.
00:11:14Grandpa Ron.
00:11:15I mean, he is the best lawyer in town since he got out of jail, and, uh, I bet he'll give
00:11:20us a break.
00:11:21Lenny, you don't get a break when you deal with your Grandpa Ron.
00:11:25You get broke.
00:11:27We just need some cash for a decent attorney.
00:11:30Linda, let me discipline the boy on my own manner, please.
00:11:35Macho said to me, you get a new fitting, and we'll put you in a grudge match.
00:11:38Do you know how long I've been waiting to get in a grudge match, huh?
00:11:41A hell of a long time.
00:11:43But a fitting takes money, a new appliance takes money, and now you want the money I set
00:11:47aside for my career?
00:11:48Well, I'm not going to let you blow this for me, boy.
00:11:50No way.
00:11:50No way in hell.
00:11:52Hey, Mrs. B, you used to be a cheerleader.
00:11:54You were hot.
00:11:55Lenny!
00:11:56Would you just shut your hole, okay?
00:11:59Now, tell me something.
00:11:59Would it help you if I stuck with you every day to make sure you don't turn out to be an
00:12:03asshole?
00:12:04Well, how would that keep me from becoming an asshole?
00:12:07God damn.
00:12:08Boy, I have had enough.
00:12:09Oh, you're a smart mouth, young man.
00:12:11Ah!
00:12:12Jesus Christ!
00:12:15You really hit me.
00:12:16What the hell you laugh for?
00:12:17You bet I did.
00:12:18Ow.
00:12:19Why was this going to scare the boy?
00:12:21Hey, no, Mom, just stop, okay?
00:12:22Dad's dealing with career frustration issues.
00:12:25Listen, the boy's trying to get into college.
00:12:28Give him the money.
00:12:29Me?
00:12:29Why not you, huh?
00:12:30Oh, yeah, that's right.
00:12:31I forgot.
00:12:31You can't even hold down a job.
00:12:33Now, hold on, Dad.
00:12:34Don't attack Mom's inadequacy issues.
00:12:37Inadequate?
00:12:37Here is the man who refuses sex ten months before a stupid wrestling match.
00:12:41Mom, let me not look.
00:12:42Okay, Dad may have performance anxiety or catch...
00:12:45Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:12:46I am not the crazy one here.
00:12:48She is the crazy one.
00:12:49Now, crazy is inappropriate terminology.
00:12:52Get out.
00:12:53You steroid-eating gorilla.
00:12:55Just go to bed with one of your homely ladies of wrestling.
00:12:58You think I didn't know?
00:13:00Hey.
00:13:00Now, wait, wait, wait.
00:13:01We can discuss this in an open environment.
00:13:06Dad!
00:13:06I'll be back.
00:13:09I love you, Mikey.
00:13:16Mom!
00:13:17I need to think.
00:13:18There's frozen mini pizzas in the fridge.
00:13:27If you need me, the wagon wheel's in the phone book.
00:13:31That's where I'll be.
00:13:32You two boys be good.
00:13:39Everything's gonna be fine.
00:13:40You look really foxy tonight, Mrs. B.
00:13:42I'll be fine.
00:13:47Ow!
00:13:48Ow!
00:13:49Ow!
00:14:03Shot of Jack.
00:14:04Heath, please.
00:14:04Can I get you a chaser?
00:14:12You're Mikey Bronco's mom, right?
00:14:14Linda?
00:14:16Brian Ross.
00:14:17Like the clothing store.
00:14:18And the sheriff?
00:14:20Yeah, he's my daddy.
00:14:21Oh, Milwaukee's, please.
00:14:26He wanted me to follow in his footsteps, but I can't do that.
00:14:28Why's that?
00:14:29I'm a rebel.
00:14:32Yeah?
00:14:33So what do you do?
00:14:34I manage Mr. Snack out on Route 13 West.
00:14:37You hire him?
00:14:39For my son.
00:14:41Oh, and I heard about that arrest from old Ricky Kenworthy.
00:14:44He's our fry cook.
00:14:45Corporate don't allow us to hire boys with criminal records.
00:14:47Sorry.
00:14:51Maybe I should apply.
00:14:52Or their families.
00:14:53Can I tell you something, Linda?
00:14:55I think you're hotter than donut grease.
00:14:57Does your girlfriend know you talk like this to strange women?
00:15:03We broke up.
00:15:04Did you just break up when you sat down here to talk to me?
00:15:08No, you see, younger women, they're bland.
00:15:13It's white pie, no seasoning, like a spiced apple.
00:15:20What are you going to say after you're done screwing me?
00:15:23Men don't want one kind of pie.
00:15:26They want them all.
00:15:27Oh, that's how it is, is it?
00:15:30Yeah.
00:15:30You see this?
00:15:32A few months back, the love of my life dumped me, got married, and called me the biggest fucking loser in the tri-state area.
00:15:39One of only nine women I've been with in my whole life, and she still has the other half of my heart.
00:15:44I'm sorry.
00:15:45Yeah, you know, I'm sorry for bothering you, Linda.
00:15:48I'll order you that drink for you and get out of your hair.
00:15:51Could you get another Jack Daniels down here, please?
00:15:55Thanks a lot.
00:15:57Here we go.
00:15:58I'll leave you alone.
00:15:59Brian.
00:16:01Stay in your seat.
00:16:02Hey man, there's that son of a bitch that fired your mom.
00:16:27Oh yeah?
00:16:28Mr. Duran?
00:16:30You know, I bet he's going off to Delaware again.
00:16:32Man, people with money are always going to foreign countries.
00:16:37Mikey, if Grandpa Ron represents us, you'll be able to stay out of jail and go to college.
00:16:41But he's going to need a retainer, and you're going to need tuition.
00:16:45All right?
00:16:46Now, who better to get that money from than the people who owe it to your family the most?
00:16:51We just lie back and let rich assholes like the Duran's take big steaming shits on our tummies.
00:17:01When you use metaphors like that, it makes people think you have real problems.
00:17:08Mikey, I admit it, okay?
00:17:09I fucked up your life, I admit it.
00:17:12But listen, I swear to you that I will unfuck it, and the lake never breaks its promises.
00:17:31Where's the lake?
00:17:32Oh, it's right here.
00:17:33Oh, man, what a bunch of crap.
00:17:40What the hell are we going to steal?
00:17:43Well, I'll start with that.
00:17:47Here, I'll take this.
00:17:48Yes, yeah.
00:17:49Oh, and the candies.
00:17:50All right.
00:17:53Hey, hey, look at this.
00:17:54Listen, go in the bedroom and I'll go in the kitchen.
00:17:57Hey, check for some china.
00:17:58Uh-huh.
00:17:58Uh-huh.
00:18:05Get, get, get, get, get.
00:18:09Get, get.
00:18:11Oh, my gosh.
00:18:12Well, let me, let me slow down the porch.
00:18:14It's going to go.
00:18:14What?
00:18:17Oh, oh, god.
00:18:19Oh, god.
00:18:20Oh, god.
00:18:21Oh, my God.
00:18:26I want to hold you.
00:18:33Lenny, can you handle this or what?
00:18:35Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be okay.
00:18:36You just take care of stuff in there and I'll be fine here.
00:18:39All right, just don't get the dog mad.
00:18:51Come on.
00:18:55Oh, shit!
00:19:02Don't leave me alone, McNeely!
00:19:04Drop it, McNeely! Drop it!
00:19:05Don't blow your head off!
00:19:06Oh, my God!
00:19:08Drop it!
00:19:09McNeely!
00:19:10Hey, give me that!
00:19:11Come here, boy!
00:19:13How are you tonight, Mrs. B?
00:19:18Come on, McNeely.
00:19:21Mrs. B, Mrs. B, that thing's gonna blow!
00:19:33Why'd you do this, Mackie?
00:19:34You want to go to jail?
00:19:36Mrs. B, can I just say something?
00:19:38Going into a trial with no lawyer is like going into a whorehouse with no heart.
00:19:42Lenny!
00:19:44Mom, what we intended on doing was going into Mrs. Duran's trailer,
00:19:48stealing the jewelry, and then going down to the flea market selling it so we can make money for our lawyer.
00:19:53You've got $30 worth of costume jewelry here and some nail polish and the contents of a candy dish.
00:20:00Mrs. B, there's some rare gems there.
00:20:03They sell this stuff on the Home Shopping Channel.
00:20:05Oh, no, Mrs. B, this is gold.
00:20:08It's bold gold. It ain't worth nothing. If you're so interested in stealing, why don't you take their cash?
00:20:13We couldn't find any.
00:20:15Did you check a cookie jar? Or a coffee can up in the cupboard?
00:20:19Well, you're gonna have to take this stuff right back. Right this second!
00:20:23Oh, too late, Mrs. B.
00:20:25The Duran's came home.
00:20:29Mikey, go to your room.
00:20:33Yes, you can stay the night.
00:20:38Good night, boy.
00:20:43You know, Mom, if you want to keep any of this stuff, I understand.
00:20:49Fury has a way of adding to a woman's self-esteem.
00:20:52I can't see.
00:20:59All in my heart!
00:21:01All in my heart!
00:21:03All in my heart!
00:21:04Good morning, Mrs. B.
00:21:34Mrs. B, those people in Carbondale will buy anything.
00:21:48What a bunch of hicks.
00:21:52Mom, now we called Ron and made an appointment.
00:21:58Yeah, he just said to us, bring in any amount of money that you get and he will do the case
00:22:04for pro bono.
00:22:06It's Spanish for half price.
00:22:10No, Lenny, it's Latin for free.
00:22:14Carbondale's just a few miles from here.
00:22:16What if somebody who knows you saw you?
00:22:18Hey, did Dad come on?
00:22:20No.
00:22:21Sweetie.
00:22:23Mikey, hey, what's going on, buddy?
00:22:26Lenny Lake, right?
00:22:28Hmm.
00:22:29You're, uh...
00:22:30Mmm, something smells good.
00:22:31What's yours cooking?
00:22:32It's cereal.
00:22:33Motherfucker.
00:22:34Lenny, watch your mouth.
00:22:35Mom!
00:22:36You just screwed a guy who kicked our asses every day after football practice.
00:22:41Yeah, well, you know, that was a long time ago and I apologize.
00:22:44They don't give him no right to call me no motherfucker.
00:22:48Followed last night in Techniclack.
00:22:50Hey, stop it!
00:22:52Stop it!
00:22:53Come on!
00:22:54Rock!
00:22:55Who is it?
00:22:56It's the policeman.
00:22:57Please open up.
00:22:58Oh, jeez.
00:23:08God damn it!
00:23:10Right, get...
00:23:11Get off of me.
00:23:13Jesus!
00:23:14Ryan!
00:23:16What are you doing here?
00:23:17Nothing you're concerned, Darren.
00:23:18Yeah, well, that Doran's trailer got burgled last night in about 2200 hours.
00:23:33Did you see or hear anything?
00:23:35Come on, man.
00:23:37I didn't hear anything or see anything, but then again, I did have a parathire muscle, if
00:23:44you know what I mean.
00:23:47These boys, they gone good over here and, uh, you wanna keep an eye on them, are you?
00:23:52Yeah.
00:23:53Yeah, why don't you just make sure you're not wearing a fur eye patch when you do?
00:23:58Excuse me?
00:24:00Excuse me?
00:24:01Well, I was just...
00:24:02Get the hell out of here.
00:24:03All right, Ryan.
00:24:04Get the hell out of here.
00:24:05Go.
00:24:06Tell my daddy.
00:24:07God damn it!
00:24:08So...
00:24:09I guess we're a team.
00:24:14Go, Kay.
00:24:15Turn it down!
00:24:20See ya
00:24:41Grandpa Ron!
00:24:43Hey, Leonard, you little dickhead. Long time no see.
00:24:46Hey, Linda. Smartass.
00:24:49Hey, I want you all to meet my new wife.
00:24:51This here is Sandy Lake.
00:24:53Leonard, say hi to your grandma.
00:24:56Hi, Grandma.
00:25:01Hi, Sandy.
00:25:04Hi, Brian.
00:25:05You look so good.
00:25:06So do you.
00:25:08I miss you so much. Did you miss me?
00:25:10What was that?
00:25:13Oh, yeah.
00:25:14Son, you're talking to a married woman.
00:25:16I used to go out.
00:25:18Well, she's married now to a man who takes her to the Virgin Islands
00:25:21and gives her anything her little heart desires.
00:25:23Now, why in the fuck would she miss you and your itty-bitty swinging dick?
00:25:27Now, would you ease up, Ron? We're just friends now.
00:25:29Tell me that. Can you answer that question, boy?
00:25:31This guy needs to take a chill pill. I'm getting a corndog.
00:25:34Excuse me?
00:25:38Ron!
00:25:39Come on, stop me!
00:25:40You little piece of feetie.
00:25:43My wife don't need your friendship.
00:25:45She don't need no midnight chats with you on the phone
00:25:48or walks in the antique shop.
00:25:50She don't need nothing from you.
00:25:51You understand that?
00:25:52Huh?
00:25:53You got that?
00:25:55Darling, listen.
00:25:56Stay away from me.
00:25:57Honey, you know I love you.
00:25:59It's just that I get a little crazy from time to time.
00:26:01Here, why don't you go shopping?
00:26:04I don't want your money.
00:26:10Take in the Monte Carlo tonight.
00:26:21So, dickhead, what do you think of your grandmother's ass?
00:26:24Oh, it's really nice, sir.
00:26:29Folks, I'm sorry to drag you all into my private affairs.
00:26:32How about I treat you all to a bag of waffles?
00:26:35You too, bud.
00:26:37You and I can be friends.
00:26:39Come on, boy.
00:26:41Keep your enemies close, then.
00:26:43Keep them close.
00:26:50Thank you, darling.
00:26:53It's too much.
00:26:54Being a man is rightful wage
00:26:56is a sign of respect and commitment.
00:26:58Without that little token,
00:27:00my resolve to keep these two gorgeous young boys
00:27:04out of prison is weak.
00:27:07Weak.
00:27:09We ain't got that kind of money.
00:27:11I just lost my job.
00:27:12You lost your job
00:27:13because you didn't call upon Ron Lake.
00:27:16Now, we both know that your boss, Mr. Doran,
00:27:19is skimming money from them retired folks.
00:27:22And instead of getting yourself a good lawyer,
00:27:25you decided to go over his head
00:27:27and got your ass fired.
00:27:29Now, I know that
00:27:31because Mr. Doran hired me to rep him.
00:27:35Now, listen up here.
00:27:37When a man steals from retired people,
00:27:40he opens himself up to the possibility
00:27:43of being stolen from.
00:27:46And that crime going unreported.
00:27:49Stolen from by an ex-employee.
00:27:55It's kind of a Robin Hood kind of thing.
00:27:59Leonard, hand me that money.
00:28:01This?
00:28:02Yeah.
00:28:03Now, you four have just paid me to be your lawyer.
00:28:06And any discussions we've had about that robbery
00:28:09come under the attorney-client privilege.
00:28:12What robbery?
00:28:13Ron just suggested we rob an old age hole.
00:28:16Now, that's bullshit, smartass.
00:28:18I suggested you all rob the head
00:28:21of the old age hole.
00:28:23Again?
00:28:25What kind of lawyer are you?
00:28:27Mackie, don't talk with your mouth full.
00:28:33Smartass.
00:28:34Every educated person knows
00:28:36that the U.S. Constitution
00:28:38was written on stolen parchment.
00:28:41You want to know what kind of lawyer I am?
00:28:43That's the kind of lawyer I am.
00:28:50Now, you look after Ron Lake.
00:28:53Ron Lake's gonna look after you.
00:28:56Bye, Grandpa.
00:29:04That old man wants us to steal
00:29:06to pay his legal fees.
00:29:07What a coot.
00:29:08What do you mean, us?
00:29:09Jerk off.
00:29:10He was looking at Mike and me.
00:29:11You boys ain't doing any crimes alone no more.
00:29:14Yeah, especially without some muscle.
00:29:16Muscle?
00:29:17He just got beat up by an old man.
00:29:19Hey, I swallowed my chew.
00:29:20And I'm not talking about that kind of muscle.
00:29:22I'm not...
00:29:23I'm talking about this kind of muscle.
00:29:26You're not using guns.
00:29:29Jesus save me.
00:29:32I want you to work with the boys.
00:29:34Well, I'm not taking orders from Ron.
00:29:36You're taking orders from me.
00:29:38What?
00:29:39Now, you two are smart.
00:29:41I know if you put your minds to something,
00:29:43you'll succeed.
00:29:44But you're gonna get yourselves put in jail
00:29:46if you keep on doing stupid things
00:29:48like stealing from the next der neighbors
00:29:51without even checking to see if their dog was home.
00:29:53Mom, you don't have to dwell on that.
00:29:55I'm sorry, honey.
00:29:56But we're gonna do this together.
00:29:59Mrs. B, I think that's awesome.
00:30:01I think that's titties.
00:30:02Hold on a second.
00:30:03It's not awesome or titties.
00:30:04It's ridiculous.
00:30:06I am not robbing someplace with my mother.
00:30:09Why not?
00:30:10Because you're a housewife.
00:30:11Son, have you been paying attention?
00:30:13Your father left me.
00:30:15I am not a wife and we live in a trailer.
00:30:17Not a house.
00:30:18For your information, my life is in the toilet.
00:30:21Except for one thing.
00:30:22One thing gets me out of bed in the morning.
00:30:24Do you know what that one thing is?
00:30:26Alcohol?
00:30:27I have a son who's going to college.
00:30:31You ain't gonna live in a trailer.
00:30:33You're gonna live in a dorm.
00:30:35Then an apartment and then a house.
00:30:44Mom, I love you.
00:30:48Me too, Mrs. B.
00:30:50Me too, Linda.
00:30:52I love you.
00:30:58All right.
00:31:02Anybody want to go bowling?
00:31:22I want to change the world. It's all right. With me, there's no regret. It's my turn. The circle game is rocking here. And I won't sit down to every side of set. You realize now. You should have tried now. The music is right. You'll find out what you want to run now.
00:31:52I'll be in disguise.
00:32:01I kind of like your mom as a brunette. Shut up, lady. Okay, I go to Duran's office with cash. You guys are supposed to check the ambulatories. Make sure they don't set any alarms causing any problems, okay? Meet you two pillow bitters back here in ten. Fuck you.
00:32:22Okay. Man, this map is awesome. Have you seen this? Your mom did a rocking job.
00:32:36That's fair. No. No, it's better than fine. You've got to tell her you appreciate her, man. Divorce is hard on women.
00:32:42Hey, don't tell me how hard it is, okay? Ross could end up being my dad.
00:32:48Hey, look at this. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this. It's a Rolex, man. This is real. Look at the sweep on the second. Look at the sweep on the second hand.
00:32:58Put it back. Man, why do all people always have the best stuff? I mean, I don't understand it. They don't ever use it for anything. They drive eight-cylinder cars like they got three. They have wicked watches and they don't have any appointments. Put it back.
00:33:14What the hell did you just do? I'm not going to let some nigger put his hands on... What did you just say? I don't know. Nothing, Mom, okay? We got to go.
00:33:34Let me tell you something. I thought I raised my son better than that. I thought I raised a boy who believed in equality. Mom, I do. I said it in the heat of the moment, okay?
00:33:43I don't really feel that way. Oh, God, Mom, the alarm. Let's go. Come on. Did you ever even stop and think that you just said the most hateful, mean word for people of color?
00:33:53Let's go. I got the money. Let's go. What happened, Nicole? Do you apologize right now for saying the n-word? I'm sorry. You have to mean it. Mom, I mean it.
00:34:03I'm not racist. I'm sorry. Ms. B, I believe you said it by accident. You didn't mean it.
00:34:07Yeah, you know, we should probably get going. I'm not going to be able to talk my way out of this one.
00:34:10You're grounded. With the exception of your trial. Come on.
00:34:18Oh, please. Sorry. Sorry.
00:34:20Wake up. Wake up.
00:34:33Come on.
00:34:36There's your money.
00:34:37Well, I hope you saved some for yourself.
00:34:38I don't know.
00:34:46Man, I wasn't bearing this guy to drink.
00:34:49These were all made in jail.
00:34:51That's a bag.
00:34:52What is that?
00:34:53That's an eagle.
00:34:57There's your money.
00:34:59Well, I hope you save some for yourself.
00:35:01Enough for college tuition and expenses.
00:35:04Well, smartass,
00:35:06you're about to find out whether you're going to college or to jail.
00:35:09How do you feel?
00:35:10I want to be honest.
00:35:13I'm filled with angst.
00:35:14Well, I, for one, are hoping he's going to college.
00:35:17Because if you use a word like angst in prison,
00:35:19there's going to be a five-car pileup on your Hershey Highway.
00:35:26What are you laughing at? You're going to be with him.
00:35:28Oh, hell, ain't anybody going to jail.
00:35:31Michael, I understand that college pussy is very expensive.
00:35:35First semester's on me.
00:35:38That'll go towards textbooks.
00:35:41If he needs pussy, it'll have to be pro bono.
00:35:44Mimosa delight.
00:35:46Thank you, honey.
00:35:47I heard your husband left you.
00:35:49I am so sorry.
00:35:51Sometimes the best way to deal with depression is to drink.
00:35:54Well, I'm dealing with my depression in my own way.
00:35:59I'd like to propose a toast to that great American institution, the family.
00:36:05As the captain said, love will keep us together.
00:36:09Let's get right at it, shall we?
00:36:13Counselor Lake, how do you plead?
00:36:15We plead guilty, Your Honor, to petty theft.
00:36:19Judge, the state recommends a fine of $250 and 12 months probation.
00:36:24Well, great.
00:36:25Let the record reflect that the defendant plead guilty to crime, petty theft,
00:36:29and a $250 fine and 12 months probation.
00:36:33This is not justice!
00:36:35And there will be no peace!
00:36:37Shut up!
00:36:39You boys, let's go out of here.
00:36:43That was it?
00:36:44That was it, son.
00:36:46We're free, man.
00:36:47You got us off, Grandpa.
00:36:48We do no jail time!
00:36:50Jail time!
00:36:51Ron.
00:36:53Under those terms, the charges are on their record.
00:36:56They break probation for any offense.
00:36:58They go to jail.
00:36:59Well, it's a lesser charge, and they're not gonna break probation.
00:37:02Wait, it's on my record?
00:37:04Son, it's shoplifting.
00:37:05Nobody cares about a chicken shit charge like shoplifting.
00:37:09Now, the next thing you'll be bitching about how short the trial was.
00:37:13You paid me good money, I did my job.
00:37:15I think what you're really trying to say is thank you, Ron Lake.
00:37:20I think you, Grandpa Ron.
00:37:23My boy, don't go to college.
00:37:25You're gonna hear from me.
00:37:41Number 38, your chili mac is up.
00:37:44We need more cheese food!
00:37:46Well, who the hell let the cheese food slice bin go empty?
00:37:49Why don't you go back there and get another lock?
00:37:51Hey!
00:37:52I told you I ain't picking that shit up.
00:37:53Thank you for coming.
00:37:54Damn it.
00:37:55Well, tell Laboosie I'm gonna check the reefer.
00:37:56Asshole!
00:37:57Hey, let's stop listening to this junkie!
00:38:01Let's listen to some Garth!
00:38:02Goddammit.
00:38:03Agro Caliente Cone Soap Suds Enrique.
00:38:07Damn.
00:38:08Disrespect me.
00:38:09And I'll break it off and beat you with it.
00:38:15Cheese food!
00:38:16Looking for some?
00:38:17Jesus, Sandy.
00:38:18What the hell are you doing in the basement of the Mr. Snack?
00:38:20I like private places.
00:38:21And I wanted to see you.
00:38:23Oh, God, baby.
00:38:24Me too.
00:38:25Doesn't at least pour the fuck out of here.
00:38:26No, I love kissing you.
00:38:40No, I mean, I mean work in here.
00:38:46Doesn't it let's gore the fuck out of here?
00:38:51No, I love kissing you.
00:38:52No, I mean, I mean, work in here.
00:38:55I mean, why'd you stop stealing?
00:38:58Well, you got enough money for Ron.
00:39:00What about us?
00:39:02Us?
00:39:04Are you in love with Linda Bronco?
00:39:06No, we're just friends.
00:39:08Friends at fuck?
00:39:10Well, I was at the bar one night and...
00:39:13Brian, it doesn't even matter. That's not what this is about.
00:39:15I am sick and tired of Ron.
00:39:17I want to be with you. I want us to be together.
00:39:20I want to get some money in our pockets, run away and start a family.
00:39:24Your family?
00:39:26Yes.
00:39:29Look.
00:39:35What?
00:39:36Can't you tell?
00:39:38I'm pregnant.
00:39:45Four months and you ain't even showing.
00:39:49Let's make one big score.
00:39:50Let's clean out the Mr. Snack and run away.
00:39:53One big score?
00:39:54Sandy, I can't have you talking like that.
00:39:57If, uh...
00:39:58If what?
00:39:59God damn it, if you're going to be my wife.
00:40:02It's the right thing to do if we're going to have a family.
00:40:05Brian, if you were going to be a father,
00:40:08you have to be willing to do anything for your son.
00:40:13Your family's all that matters.
00:40:15Oh, Brian.
00:40:16I knew you weren't a loser.
00:40:17All right, the letter.
00:40:35Well...
00:40:36We were going to inform...
00:40:37Fuck.
00:40:39I'm going inside.
00:40:40Crimes of moral turpitude.
00:40:48What's that supposed to mean?
00:40:49It means...
00:40:51That I'm a criminal,
00:40:52and Southern Illinois University
00:40:54doesn't accept criminals.
00:40:57Lenny...
00:40:59Give me an application to truck driving school.
00:41:03That's where I'll be going in the fall.
00:41:05You are not going to trucking school.
00:41:07You are going to college.
00:41:10Hey, Mrs. B.
00:41:21You know, you are one of the finest mothers
00:41:24that I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
00:41:27Oh, that's sweet, Lenny.
00:41:34You also have one of the finest racks
00:41:37on any woman over 30.
00:41:38Lenny, Lenny, Lenny.
00:41:41If you're going to compliment a woman,
00:41:43do it from your heart,
00:41:44not your picker.
00:41:45Sorry.
00:41:51Well,
00:41:52I guess I better be going.
00:41:55I haven't been home in three months.
00:41:56Better make sure they ain't moved.
00:41:57Hey, Mrs. B., you know,
00:42:04I was sort of thinking,
00:42:07public schools like, like SIU,
00:42:10they're real hard to get into, you know,
00:42:11with all the rules and stuff,
00:42:12but regular universities like,
00:42:14like University of Chicago,
00:42:16I mean, they're real easy to get into.
00:42:18They just cost five times as much.
00:42:21Anyway, see you in the morning, Mrs. B.
00:42:22I'll see you in the morning.
00:42:27I should have called first.
00:42:44Yeah, you should have.
00:42:46Linda, I just wanted to talk to you
00:42:49about a few things, you know,
00:42:50about our relationship and all.
00:42:53Now, it's not you, but...
00:42:54Are you breaking up with me?
00:42:57Yeah, Lenny, I'm afraid so.
00:43:00Well, you can't.
00:43:02Why not?
00:43:03We're not dating.
00:43:05We slept together once,
00:43:07and frankly, you weren't that good.
00:43:08Okay.
00:43:10So, you want to be friends?
00:43:13No.
00:43:16Fine.
00:43:18Brian.
00:43:22I've been thinking about stealing again.
00:43:27God, Linda.
00:43:29Me too.
00:43:30I am thinking the exact same thing.
00:43:32Look, I have never felt so strongly
00:43:35about something in my whole life.
00:43:36Listen, Linda, I happen to work at a place
00:43:39where they don't do bank deposits.
00:43:41The Mr. Snack keeps the cash right on the premises.
00:43:44You think we could get $40,000 in one shot?
00:43:47Weekend night, after a game, easily.
00:43:52Linda, let's do this.
00:43:53So, everybody knows the plan.
00:44:08Don't use names, just numbers.
00:44:11Mikey's number one, Lenny's two,
00:44:12Brian's number three, and I'm number four.
00:44:16Look, we can use this to blow up the safe.
00:44:19Clay dough?
00:44:20No, well, see, what I did is,
00:44:22I mixed the contents of three M-80s up into this,
00:44:25so all you have to do is stick this to the safe,
00:44:28and then stick the fuse in, and then light it,
00:44:30and then boom, open safe.
00:44:32That's very clever, Lenny.
00:44:34Good work.
00:44:35But I'd like Brian to deal with the safe.
00:44:37What?
00:44:38I thought I was in charge of explosives.
00:44:40Give it back.
00:44:41Lenny, I want you to stay up front with me
00:44:43as my protector.
00:44:43Huh, huh.
00:44:46Good plan, Mrs. B.
00:44:49Here you didn't get into college, Mikey.
00:44:52Blow me.
00:44:53Mikey will be enrolling in the University of Chicago
00:44:56and taking psychology classes in the fall.
00:44:59I will be doing none of the above.
00:45:02You will be doing all of the above?
00:45:05Now, I'm not busting my butt with these robberies
00:45:07so you can go to some trucking school.
00:45:09I mean, no offense, Lenny, but it's a fine profession.
00:45:12I'm taken.
00:45:13How can I be a family counselor
00:45:15when the only goddamn family I have
00:45:17is not only dysfunctional, but criminal?
00:45:21Hello?
00:45:22Mikey, God's last name is not damned.
00:45:25Am I right, Mrs. B.?
00:45:27So you're just giving up on your dreams, is that it?
00:45:29Mm-hmm.
00:45:32Stop playing games
00:45:33when you should be studying the house plans!
00:45:35Mom, I can't believe you just hit me!
00:45:37Then do what she says, dumbass.
00:45:38Why don't you fuck yourself in the ass, Frost?
00:45:40Lenny!
00:45:41Yeah!
00:45:42No!
00:45:43What?
00:45:43Ah!
00:45:47I'm sorry.
00:45:48Oh, Jesus save me.
00:45:49Jesus.
00:45:53Jesus.
00:45:55Lenny, stop aiming that thing!
00:45:57What?
00:45:57It's just plastic.
00:45:59Maybe it could poke someone's eye out.
00:46:01All right.
00:46:20Anybody here fucks with us, they eat hot rifle grease.
00:46:23And I mean all you cocksuckers!
00:46:25Number two, what did we discuss about using foul play?
00:46:29Yeah, man, have some class.
00:46:30There's girls working here.
00:46:31I'm going to go open the safe.
00:46:32Hey, apologies to number one and number four.
00:46:36Excuse me, Susie.
00:46:38Susie, would you do me a favor and put a couple of burgers in a bag, please?
00:46:41Yes, ma'am.
00:46:42Number four, is that for the ride home?
00:46:43Because if it is, I want a hot apple pie and curly fries.
00:46:47You want anything else, number one?
00:46:50Um, yeah, I'll take chicken nuggets and a banana shake.
00:47:00Susie, don't give them a shake.
00:47:02They make them nauseous when we drive.
00:47:03I'll take that shake.
00:47:05Thank you, Susie.
00:47:05Would you give him a spread, please, Susie?
00:47:07We only have mellow yellow ma'am.
00:47:09That's fine.
00:47:10Mom, I wish you wouldn't do that.
00:47:12Hey, number one, do not speak to number four in that tone of voice.
00:47:16Oh, number two.
00:47:17Do you want to go on?
00:47:18Come on, there's no fighting during the robberies.
00:47:22He started it.
00:47:26Don't be embarrassed.
00:47:27She's just trying to be a mama.
00:47:28I know how that is.
00:47:30What's your baby's name?
00:47:32Julia.
00:47:34Hey, take this.
00:47:35For Julia.
00:47:37I still see you back there.
00:47:41Uh, girls, would you do me another favor?
00:47:43You know that tall boy with the ski mask on?
00:47:45Number three.
00:47:47Would you tell him we got to go now, please?
00:47:49Thank you so much.
00:47:56Brian?
00:47:57Brian, what?
00:47:57Get out!
00:47:58Get out!
00:48:02Oh, God!
00:48:04Damn it!
00:48:05What's the friggin' combination to the safe?
00:48:09You're the assistant friggin' manager.
00:48:11If you don't know, they're not going to tell us.
00:48:12Don't talk to me like that.
00:48:14Okay, okay.
00:48:14Maybe we can guess it.
00:48:16That is the stupidest thing I think I've ever heard.
00:48:18How are you going to guess the combination to a safe?
00:48:20It's not stupid.
00:48:20I read it in a book.
00:48:22Oh.
00:48:22What would be a natural choice for Mr. Labusi to pick as a combination?
00:48:26What do you know about him?
00:48:27He hates Jews.
00:48:29Oh, didn't he like St. William's?
00:48:30Uh, when's St. William's birthday?
00:48:35Come on, Susie, come on!
00:48:36Okay!
00:48:37September 17th, 1923.
00:48:41Number three!
00:48:47No.
00:48:47Uh, didn't he die on New Year's Day?
00:48:521953.
00:48:56Number three, move your ass!
00:48:59Come on.
00:49:02Oh!
00:49:03Oh!
00:49:03Holy shit!
00:49:04That's all mighty!
00:49:06Oh!
00:49:08You're telling the one what you just saw.
00:49:10And I'll tell your parole officer that you're still doing crystal.
00:49:13I ain't!
00:49:14Oh, yeah?
00:49:14Well, who are they going to believe?
00:49:15Me or you?
00:49:16My daddy's a sheriff.
00:49:17Ha!
00:49:17Get to the front.
00:49:18Now.
00:49:19Go!
00:49:20Yes!
00:49:25Oh, I'm sorry.
00:49:26Oh.
00:49:28Oh, come on.
00:49:29Little trades are fun for them, Sam.
00:49:33Five for me, one for them, three for me, one for them.
00:49:41Okay.
00:49:41Number three!
00:49:42Hey!
00:49:43Number three!
00:49:46But, Chris, what the hell are you doing out here?
00:49:49Oh, I just threw up.
00:49:52Bad fish.
00:49:54In the grease trap?
00:49:55Yeah.
00:49:56Come on, man.
00:49:57We gotta go.
00:49:58Okay.
00:49:59Money?
00:49:59Money?
00:49:59Yeah.
00:50:00All right.
00:50:02Shit.
00:50:04Oh, fuck.
00:50:09Ross, did you open the safe?
00:50:10Yeah.
00:50:10How did the plastique work for you?
00:50:12Great.
00:50:13Ross.
00:50:14What?
00:50:15What the fuck?
00:50:17What?
00:50:18Number one, call him number three, and number two, watch your language.
00:50:21Hurry up.
00:50:22We gotta go.
00:50:22I didn't say anything.
00:50:26Mom!
00:50:27Mom, are you all right?
00:50:28I'm okay, honey.
00:50:29Let's just get out of here.
00:50:30Shit.
00:50:30Oh, my God.
00:50:32Oh, my God.
00:50:35God.
00:50:36Sorry.
00:50:42Oh, gosh, Chris.
00:50:44I'm really sorry, Linda.
00:50:45I ran into some trouble in the back.
00:50:47Ross, why is there only a couple thousand in the bag?
00:50:49I don't know.
00:50:50I guess I had a slow night.
00:50:51Yeah, well, that means we can't make max tuition.
00:50:53What the hell took you so long in the office?
00:50:56One of the Susie's was hitting on me.
00:50:58Susie with a Y or Susie with an I?
00:51:01Why?
00:51:03Stop it, Mikey.
00:51:04Get in the car.
00:51:05Now.
00:51:06Brian, get in the back seat.
00:51:08Maybe you, too.
00:51:16Gear, key, brake.
00:51:18What do I do?
00:51:19Key, gear, brake.
00:51:20Hurry.
00:51:23All right, then left and check the mirrors.
00:51:24Oh, holy shit.
00:51:25Ah!
00:51:26Oh, shit.
00:51:30Ah.
00:51:32Oh, shit.
00:51:34Very good.
00:51:35Why don't you look at Jeff Gordon over here?
00:51:37Shut up.
00:51:39Linda, you burned that boy bad.
00:51:41He started it by throwing his ninja star.
00:51:43I don't care who started it.
00:51:45That was a wrong thing to do.
00:51:48How do you think that boy's mom and dad are going to feel
00:51:50when he shows up with second-degree burns on his face and neck?
00:51:54Kim, really?
00:51:55I don't know.
00:51:56That's right.
00:51:57You don't know.
00:51:59I just want you to sit there a while and think about your actions.
00:52:02Yeah, well, Ross was dicking around forever back then.
00:52:04This is not about Brian Ross.
00:52:06This is about Leonard Lake.
00:52:07I'm sorry, Mike.
00:52:15Sandy, I did it.
00:52:16The money's in the grease trap.
00:52:17Behind Mr. Snack, get it, baby.
00:52:19Okay, we'll leave at the end of the week.
00:52:20You gotta get it.
00:52:21It's behind him, Mr. Snack.
00:52:22In the alley.
00:52:23Bells.
00:52:24Gotta go.
00:52:25Bye.
00:52:25Hey, Leonard, smartass.
00:52:33Just the guys I wanted to see.
00:52:34Oh, the garden looks amazing, Grandpa.
00:52:37Ha-ha.
00:52:37Welcome to Grandpa Ron's men's den.
00:52:40Have yourself a seat, boys.
00:52:43Here, you want one?
00:52:45Aspirin?
00:52:46Yeah, it thins the blood.
00:52:47Go for the ticker.
00:52:50Boys, why did the chicken
00:52:52walk funny when he was crossing the road?
00:52:55Why, why, why?
00:52:58Because he just came out of a meeting
00:53:00of the Man-Chicken Love Association.
00:53:07How do you come up with these things, Grandpa?
00:53:09Well, it's a gift, dickhead.
00:53:11It's a joke gift.
00:53:12Yeah, I hope you saved the receipt.
00:53:16You know, I was reading an interesting story
00:53:18in the paper this morning.
00:53:20Front page stuff, just below the fold,
00:53:23it seems four mysterious individuals
00:53:26wearing ski masks robbed the local Mr. Snack
00:53:29of $200,000.
00:53:32$200,000?
00:53:33Grandpa, we never got anywhere near
00:53:35that kind of money.
00:53:36I mean, we got maybe like, uh,
00:53:37$3,000 or $4,000 out of the cash register, right?
00:53:39Yeah, and we also only got like $2,000
00:53:41out of the safe.
00:53:42Either one of you boys got a calculator?
00:53:44No, no, I can do that in my head.
00:53:45No, no, no, no.
00:53:46I just want to try and figure out
00:53:48how many times you all are going to be
00:53:49buttfucked in the federal penitentiary.
00:53:53The amount of money you stole
00:53:54or was stolen from you
00:53:56is grand theft.
00:53:58I could be an accessory to that crime.
00:54:01No, wait, but you're our lawyer.
00:54:02The trial is over, shit for brains.
00:54:04But you're my grandfather.
00:54:05They can't arrest you for that, can they?
00:54:07You boys ever been in love with a woman?
00:54:20Yeah.
00:54:20Yeah.
00:54:22Someone other than Pamela Anderson?
00:54:25No, not who?
00:54:27You want to know what it feels like
00:54:29to be in love with someone
00:54:30and have that someone
00:54:31be fucking someone else?
00:54:33It's like having a rat in your stomach
00:54:37chewing and crawling its way
00:54:39through all your organs
00:54:40stopping only long enough
00:54:42to shit and piss and laugh at you.
00:54:46And that rat gets up into your heart
00:54:49and stays there sometimes for years.
00:54:55Sometimes forever.
00:54:56A good piece of ass
00:55:00is the most dangerous thing in the world.
00:55:03If you find one, boys,
00:55:06do me a favor and run from it.
00:55:12We're gonna find all of that money
00:55:15and we're gonna split it 50-50.
00:55:1850 to you, dickhead,
00:55:20and 50 to you, smartass.
00:55:22Yeah, well, what about Ross?
00:55:23I'm glad you brought him up.
00:55:24Brian Ross has got to die.
00:55:28You want us to kill Brian Ross?
00:55:30Won't that break our probation?
00:55:31Mr. Lake, you're talking about
00:55:33murdering the son of a cop.
00:55:34I don't give a fuck
00:55:35if he's the son of Frankenstein.
00:55:38Do you want your mother
00:55:39to be molested by pissed-off
00:55:41dyke cellmates with broom handles?
00:55:45Now, I realize you and your mother
00:55:46have a dream,
00:55:47a dream that you go to college
00:55:48and become a family counselor.
00:55:50Leonard here, he has a dream, too,
00:55:52to get a fancy car
00:55:53and eventually get laid.
00:55:55Now, I got a place in St. Croix,
00:55:57the Virgin Islands.
00:55:58My dream is to retire there
00:56:01with that little night fighter
00:56:03right on my side.
00:56:04And I ain't letting
00:56:05no fucking son of Frankenstein
00:56:07fuck up my retirement.
00:56:10Now, you boys do this job for me.
00:56:14We're all gonna realize our dreams.
00:56:161978 Chevy Monte Carlo.
00:56:35Got a 350 under that hood
00:56:37with chrome valve covers
00:56:39and a custom steering wheel.
00:56:41Tell us I got Edelbrock air filters,
00:56:43a B&M shifter,
00:56:44an FR-4805 aluminum wheels, huh?
00:56:47Now, Sandy drives it once in a while,
00:56:49but it's not a young lady's car.
00:56:51This is a young man's ride.
00:56:56What's that for?
00:56:58Registration.
00:56:59Did you say registration?
00:57:01Did I stutter?
00:57:02Can't you tell?
00:57:03Gentlemen,
00:57:06this is yours
00:57:08if you do that job for me.
00:57:10And if you can't get laid
00:57:11out of this car,
00:57:12you've got to be
00:57:13two of the biggest faggots
00:57:14in the tri-state area.
00:57:27Okay, so what are we gonna do?
00:57:29What do you think?
00:57:30Study for the trucking test.
00:57:31But we have to get back
00:57:34to Mr. Stack Money.
00:57:36Damn it,
00:57:37he's cheating on your mom.
00:57:38I'm not just gonna watch
00:57:40some jock asshole
00:57:41spend my best friend's tuition money
00:57:43to fuck my grandmother.
00:57:46All right,
00:57:47so maybe we can't kill Brian Ross.
00:57:49But what if we scare him
00:57:51into telling us
00:57:52where the money is?
00:57:54Okay, listen.
00:57:55Now, Ron said he wanted him dead,
00:57:57but he didn't say, like,
00:57:57bring me his head or nothing, right?
00:57:59So we go over
00:58:00to Brian's house
00:58:02with the guns
00:58:02and we tell him
00:58:04to get out of town,
00:58:05never come back,
00:58:06and then we take his clothes
00:58:07and throw him in the river
00:58:08and we burn down his trailer.
00:58:09So that way,
00:58:10the police will think
00:58:11that he died in the fire
00:58:12or drowned
00:58:13or both.
00:58:15What are you boys talking about?
00:58:18Nothing.
00:58:19Nothing.
00:58:20How about some miniature golf?
00:58:22Oh, no,
00:58:23we're gonna be busy.
00:58:24We've seen a movie.
00:58:26Nothing violent.
00:58:27Okay, Mrs. B.
00:58:29All right, Mom.
00:58:31So?
00:58:32All right, Mom.
00:58:33All right, Mom.
00:58:34All right, Mom.
00:58:34All right, Mom.
00:58:35All right, Mom.
00:58:35All right, Mom.
00:58:36All right, Mom.
00:58:36All right, Mom.
00:58:37All right, Mom.
00:58:37All right, Mom.
00:58:38All right, Mom.
00:58:38All right, Mom.
00:58:39All right, Mom.
00:58:39All right, Mom.
00:58:40All right, Mom.
00:58:40All right, Mom.
00:58:40All right, Mom.
00:58:41All right, Mom.
00:58:41All right, Mom.
00:58:42All right, Mom.
00:58:42All right, Mom.
00:58:42All right, Mom.
00:58:43All right, Mom.
00:58:43All right, Mom.
00:58:44All right, Mom.
00:58:44All right, Mom.
00:58:45All right, Mom.
00:58:45All right, Mom.
00:58:46All right, Mom.
00:58:47All right, Mom.
00:58:48All right, Mom.
00:58:49You're on the phone.
00:59:04Yeah, who do you think he's talking to?
00:59:06I think he's probably talking to one of his stupid cop friends,
00:59:09you know, saying, uh, I'm such a rebel
00:59:11that I not only robbed my place of employment,
00:59:14but also the two dumbasses who assisted me in said robbery
00:59:18or maybe, maybe he's talking with his poker buddies
00:59:22and he's saying, I've performed over a hundred
00:59:27unnatural acts of sex with one of the finest women
00:59:31in Sunrise, Linda Bronco.
00:59:33Even though it is true that my dick is so diseased
00:59:36it looks like the surface of Mars, she still took it.
00:59:40All right!
00:59:41Lenny, goddammit, I get the picture.
00:59:44Sorry.
00:59:47Hey, Mikey.
00:59:48Do you remember the eighth grade?
00:59:51Fifth period dodgeball?
00:59:54Certain senior walked in on our class
00:59:56and beamed you so hard in the back of the head
00:59:59that you were seeing double for the rest of that day?
01:00:02Do you remember who that senior was?
01:00:05Mikey?
01:00:08Above all else, man,
01:00:10for fifth period dodgeball.
01:00:12What's going on?
01:00:14Yeah.
01:00:14Where'd you say you left the, uh, money?
01:00:20No shit.
01:00:22That is genius.
01:00:25Really.
01:00:27Really.
01:00:31Tell you two monkeys down here.
01:00:32Ross, you screwed us and our families, okay?
01:00:36So, if you don't tell us where the money is right now,
01:00:39we're gonna, we're gonna kill you till you're dead.
01:00:42Let me talk to him.
01:00:45Brian, what you did was wrong, okay?
01:00:48Sleeping with an older woman shows me
01:00:49that you still feel a sense of abandonment
01:00:51from your mother.
01:00:53Abandonment issues which could be accompanied
01:00:54with latent homosexuality.
01:00:56Hold on.
01:00:58Now, stealing this money
01:00:59could be your way of acting out
01:01:01in the frustrations from the fact that
01:01:03maybe you're gay.
01:01:05So give us the money
01:01:06and you'll feel much, much better.
01:01:21You are fucking me!
01:01:22Get you out!
01:01:28Oh!
01:01:33Oh, shut up.
01:01:36Oh.
01:01:39Max!
01:01:41Take it there!
01:01:43Take it there!
01:01:44You'll see any jumped me!
01:01:47Get him with a head.
01:01:48Ah! Ah!
01:01:50Ah!
01:02:18Oh!
01:02:28Oh!
01:02:30Oh!
01:02:37Oh!
01:02:38I think they're going to have been right here.
01:02:54I'm going to have been right here.
01:02:56Let's go.
01:02:58Thank you, ma'am.
01:02:59I'm going to have to stay.
01:03:03I'm going to have to stay.
01:03:04I'm going to have to stay.
01:03:05I'm going to have to stay.
01:03:07Hello?
01:03:08Hey.
01:03:09When I tried out with the cheerleading squad in high school, they said, we're looking
01:03:13for someone just like Lyndon Elson.
01:03:15She was the best captain we ever had.
01:03:17I saw pictures of your fat ass in the trophy box every goddamn day at school.
01:03:21You weren't all that.
01:03:22Now you've fucked my boyfriend and he's in the hospital.
01:03:25Bet you expect to pay.
01:03:36I was visiting a client in jail.
01:03:39Now if I was in the Jacksonville County lockup when this dick licker was shot, how can I
01:03:45be held responsible for it?
01:03:47You smell good.
01:03:48You smell good.
01:03:49Right in there.
01:03:50Mr. Lake.
01:03:51If I was to find out that you was even in possession of a gun, having previously been convicted for
01:03:57a felony, well, hell, that wouldn't be too good, would it?
01:03:59All right.
01:04:00My pizza's here.
01:04:01I don't know.
01:04:02What's the boys got?
01:04:03I do not know.
01:04:04I think they got pepperoni.
01:04:05Well, I said pepperoni.
01:04:06I told you I don't eat anything with a face on it.
01:04:08Get the goddamn pieces out of here.
01:04:09We're doing an interrogation.
01:04:10All right.
01:04:11Now these are for the boys.
01:04:12Now, Mr. Lake, we're just trying to get the facts straight here.
01:04:14The facts?
01:04:15Hell, I've been a lawyer for nine and a half years.
01:04:16I never heard so many goddamn stupid questions being asked over and over again, especially
01:04:18when you've been getting the same stupid answers back.
01:04:20Well, now here's the thing.
01:04:21The questions are the same, but it's your answers that keep getting different.
01:04:27Do you want to hear the tape?
01:04:41Thank you very much.
01:04:46You know, I was home all night long, okay?
01:04:53So, uh, you can even ask my parents.
01:04:55They'll tell you.
01:04:56We, uh, talked to your parents several times about your whereabouts.
01:05:00And around the fourth time, they recognized your name.
01:05:05I ain't talking without my lawyer.
01:05:08I think I need my lawyer.
01:05:10You know, I haven't eaten all day.
01:05:19I'm really hungry.
01:05:21Sure is good pizza.
01:05:25We'd love to give you some, but, uh, if you want to wait for your lawyer.
01:05:30Yeah, it would be rude to eat without your lawyer.
01:05:35We were there.
01:05:43I'm sorry, what was that song?
01:05:45We were there.
01:05:47Oh, damn.
01:05:48That's easier than I thought.
01:05:52I'm not hungry.
01:05:57Judge, I want this asshole.
01:06:03And I'd like to know that you're on my side.
01:06:05What asshole?
01:06:06Lake?
01:06:07He scared these kids into keeping quiet.
01:06:09He made it clear that if they go to jail, they're gonna get their throat slit.
01:06:13Well, what do you want me to do?
01:06:14I'm not Captain America.
01:06:16Nice man.
01:06:17I shouldn't even be having this conversation with you.
01:06:26All rise.
01:06:27This court is now in session.
01:06:28The Honorable Judge William J. Pike presiding.
01:06:31Please come to order.
01:06:33Take off that hat.
01:06:34Sit down.
01:06:36Gentlemen, I gave you 12-month probation.
01:06:39I don't know what happened in that trailer to get this boy shot without either of you pulling the trigger.
01:06:44But from the information filed against you, you are both facing some serious prison time.
01:06:50Now, as to your relationship with your grandfather...
01:06:53I object, Your Honor.
01:06:55I haven't seen this young man in months.
01:06:58In fact, he's estranged from our entire family.
01:07:01Lake!
01:07:02This is not a trial, you moron!
01:07:04It's an arraignment!
01:07:05Get out of my courtroom!
01:07:07Bail is $25,000 each.
01:07:11Mrs. Bronco, I asked you to keep your eyes on these boys.
01:07:16Have you?
01:07:18Yes, sir.
01:07:19I did.
01:07:20Well, this is a small town.
01:07:22People talk.
01:07:23I prefer to listen.
01:07:25I hear that you are not now currently employed.
01:07:28Well, the new management at the retirement home is hiring me back, sir.
01:07:33Nevertheless, I hear that unemployment has been very good to you.
01:07:38Your grocery bill was doubled, paid your bar tab, trucking school tuition, and hired the services of a bail bondsman.
01:07:46Now, I've been watching these proceedings.
01:07:49You know, it's not my job to comment, but I will.
01:07:54Now, why do you suppose the sheriff has a hard-on for your boys, the state's attorney has a hard-on for your lawyer,
01:08:03but nobody has called attention to the fact that a woman with your body type closely resembles that of a lady involved in a burger restaurant robbery?
01:08:15Linda Nelson Bronco, I have a hard-on for you.
01:08:22I didn't inform on you, Mom.
01:08:45Neither did I.
01:08:47I know that.
01:08:49Um, can you tell me why you took money from Ron Lake to kill Brian?
01:08:55Mom, we were only trying to scare him.
01:08:59Oh, you scared him, all right.
01:09:01And you scared me, too.
01:09:03I look at you, too, and I'm scared.
01:09:05I want my son back.
01:09:07What?
01:09:14I want my son back.
01:09:16And his best friend.
01:09:18I want you to be teenagers.
01:09:20And I want to be a normal mother.
01:09:22I want to bake brownies and go to tractor pulls.
01:09:25Look at the mess we're goddamn in.
01:09:30Come on, let's get out of here.
01:09:34Hey, Ron.
01:09:50My son and your grandson tell me you uns had a deal.
01:09:54There was no deal.
01:09:55There was no deal.
01:09:56They did a job for you, and they were supposed to be paid, and they did not get paid.
01:10:00They fucked the job up.
01:10:01Well, we're gonna give you the chance to fulfill your obligations.
01:10:07And we're gonna give you a reasonable alibi by taking your car and the Mr. Snack money.
01:10:13You're gonna make it seem like we robbed you, Grandpa.
01:10:16You are robbing me, dickhead.
01:10:18Ron, where's the money?
01:10:20I believe your old boyfriend stole the money.
01:10:23My old boyfriend?
01:10:24He only has one brain, and I know where he keeps it, and I know it isn't very big.
01:10:28So my question to you is, where did your wife put my son's college money?
01:10:35I believe she hid it inside the trailer.
01:10:37Now, if you point that gun elsewhere, I'll go in there and help you find it.
01:10:40No need.
01:10:41We'll just take the trailer with us.
01:10:43Hey, Miss B.
01:10:44Hmm?
01:10:45What say we leave some sort of a signature to this crime?
01:10:49You know, let the police know we really did it.
01:10:52What'd you have in mind?
01:10:54I was thinking maybe we could use the rest of them M80s and blow the shit out of a beer can garden.
01:10:59That'll be fine, Lenny.
01:11:01You're out of the will, Lenny.
01:11:03There.
01:11:23Here, they have bloodstain.
01:11:26Good for the ticker.
01:11:28Crying Atlas Fall and I'm hearing them call
01:11:31And it sounds like the end of the world
01:11:34Atlas Fall, no way they'll call
01:11:37With a sign I know it's down
01:11:40Duck, you sucker.
01:11:58No, no.
01:12:01Oh!
01:12:02Oh!
01:12:04Oh!
01:12:07Oh!
01:12:13Oh!
01:12:16Oh.
01:12:43Brian Ross' room.
01:12:45What's your name?
01:12:46Sandy!
01:12:47So you found me, big deal.
01:12:49Sandy, they blew up my beer guard.
01:12:52So what?
01:12:53Those little bastards, they stole our car.
01:12:56They stole our trailer.
01:12:57What?
01:12:58They blew up my beer guard.
01:13:00Stop talking, old man.
01:13:03Tell me they did not take my trailer.
01:13:05They took our trailer!
01:13:06I'm gonna kill them!
01:13:08You know what?
01:13:09You're not gonna do a damn thing,
01:13:10because I'm gonna take care of this myself,
01:13:11you stupid son of a bitch.
01:13:12I promise you I will take care of this,
01:13:14and the lake never breaks her promises.
01:13:34Think, think, think, think, think.
01:13:36Think.
01:13:42Sweetheart, tell me everybody that you and Linda robbed from.
01:13:51I'm gonna play in a little reunion.
01:13:56Well, can you get that?
01:13:58All right.
01:13:59I'll get it.
01:14:00Mr. Snatch, our buns are open all night.
01:14:04Put your fucking balls on the line now.
01:14:06Just one minute.
01:14:08Mr. Leboosey!
01:14:12He isn't there.
01:14:13I got it.
01:14:14Yeah.
01:14:15Then the Bronco, her son, and Lenny Lake Rogers
01:14:16stole my trailer.
01:14:17They're headed out of town.
01:14:18Get your gun and get me to Route 30 Junction.
01:14:20What?
01:14:21Do it, fat boy.
01:14:22I'm not fucking around.
01:14:23I'll be right there.
01:14:31I'll be right there.
01:14:32I'll be right back.
01:14:35Go now.
01:14:53Okay here.
01:14:54Broncos are skipping bail.
01:14:55Get anyone you know with a gun and meet me in 30 minutes
01:14:57at the Route 30 Junction.
01:14:58I got you.
01:15:01Come on, boy.
01:15:02Let's go to war.
01:15:03Hell yeah!
01:15:08Breaker, breaker.
01:15:09Over.
01:15:10Mrs. B, come in.
01:15:11Over.
01:15:12Lenny?
01:15:13Uh, Mrs. B, we can't find the cash anywhere.
01:15:15Over.
01:15:17Look in the last place.
01:15:18You expect to find it.
01:15:21Uh, sure thing.
01:15:23Over.
01:15:24Last place.
01:15:25Of course it's gonna be in the last place.
01:15:27Fuckin' right.
01:15:28No basketball scholarship for you, Mikey.
01:15:30Alright, wait a second.
01:15:36Holy shit.
01:15:37Look at this.
01:15:40What's up at the door?
01:15:41I'm 65 miles an hour.
01:15:45Open up!
01:15:47Hey, baby!
01:15:48What's going on?
01:15:49Hey!
01:15:50You girls wanna come here or what?
01:15:51We got beer in here.
01:15:52We got a soapo and cushions.
01:15:54People are trying to kill you!
01:15:56Aw, don't worry.
01:15:57They won't be able to find us.
01:15:58Help me!
01:15:59Help me!
01:16:00Help me!
01:16:01Help me!
01:16:02Help me!
01:16:03Help me!
01:16:04Help me!
01:16:05Oh, my God.
01:16:10Got the money, Mikey.
01:16:11I got it!
01:16:12What?
01:16:13What?
01:16:14Hey, what's that?
01:16:15Get in the car!
01:16:16Grandpa?
01:16:17Help me!
01:16:18Help me!
01:16:19Help me!
01:16:20Help me!
01:16:21Help me!
01:16:22We're never gonna get past that roadblock.
01:16:23And I won't get passed out.
01:16:24Help me!
01:16:25Help me!
01:16:26Help me!
01:16:27Help me!
01:16:28Help me!
01:16:29Help me!
01:16:30Help me!
01:16:31Help me!
01:16:32Help me!
01:16:33Help me!
01:16:34Help me!
01:16:35Help me!
01:16:36Help me!
01:16:37We're never gonna get past that roadblock.
01:16:38And I won't get passed out.
01:16:39Help me!
01:16:40Help me!
01:16:41I won't get passed out.
01:16:57Mom!
01:16:58What are you doing?
01:16:59Get outta here.
01:17:01Get the condom door!
01:17:0257 North!
01:17:03Oh, ah!
01:17:07I ain't leaving you.
01:17:08I ain't leaving you.
01:17:10Yes, you are.
01:17:11Susie, would you ever do drugs in front of your baby?
01:17:13Hell no, Miss B.
01:17:15That's right, but you set a good example.
01:17:17Get out!
01:17:21Mikey, I'm a bad mother.
01:17:29Go to college, get good grades, and write to me in jail.
01:17:33But, Mrs. B, what if they kill you?
01:17:35I'll be all right.
01:17:35The cops have got to be here any minute.
01:17:38Now get in the car and go.
01:17:41Drive carefully.
01:17:42Come.
01:17:45Go on now, go.
01:17:58Get the fuck out of the car!
01:17:59Now get out!
01:18:01Get the fuck out of the car!
01:18:03Get out!
01:18:05Get out of there!
01:18:06It's not.
01:18:11Ah-ah!
01:18:14Hold up!
01:18:21Everybody, just relax.
01:18:23Stay right where you are!
01:18:28Anybody want a drink?
01:18:29What about?
01:18:30Hey, everybody, you just dropped your weapons.
01:18:36Get up against the car.
01:18:59?
01:19:09?
01:19:11?
01:19:13?
01:19:18?
01:19:21?
01:19:25?
01:19:27?
01:19:31?
01:19:33How are you doing today, Jenny?
01:19:35?
01:19:37?
01:19:39?
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01:22:42?
01:22:43St. Croix, in the beachfront property we now own, has a way of adjusting one's way of thinking.
01:22:49And so does becoming a parent.
01:22:51Susie's a great mother, and I'm enjoying being a father.
01:22:54Lenny's also taken to the married life.
01:22:57I'm getting my degree in family counseling from the University of the Virgin Islands.
01:23:01And now I understand a little bit more about the kind of parent you were.
01:23:05Though my colleagues might disagree, I believe you are the best mother a guy could ask for.
01:23:13Welcome home.
01:23:43You got a hard face.
01:23:46You got a hard face.
01:23:48I got grounds in my car, there are both weevils in my mill.
01:24:00Another day slips on by and I'm spinning my wheels.
01:24:05Another day slips on by and I'm spinning my wheels.
01:24:10Working on my last hangover.
01:24:14I'll be lucky as a four leaf clover to make it through.
01:24:22I'm digging the groove I'm in right now.
01:24:27Why you got to make it such a fuss?
01:24:32I'm digging the groove I'm in right now.
01:24:37Don't you kill my butt.
01:24:47You know I've had a long day and I'm sick and tired.
01:24:53Of all you're jealous.
01:24:56My mind isn't dead.
01:24:59My heart is working on my last hangover.
01:25:05I'll be lucky as a four leaf clover to make it through.
01:25:12I'm digging the groove I'm in right now.
01:25:19Why you got to make it such a fuss?
01:25:23I'm digging the groove I'm in right now.
01:25:28Don't you kill my butt.
01:25:33Don't you kill my butt.
01:25:41My grounds in my coffin for weevils up in my mill.
01:25:46Another day slips on by and I'm spinning my wheels.
01:25:51My grounds in my coffin for weevils up in my mill
01:25:56Another day sits on by and I'm running my contemporain.
01:25:57Put in my indo by and I'm McCaini app.
01:25:59Don't you kill my butt.
01:26:01You
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