Handle with Care Jimmy Akingbola (2022) Full Movie HD

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Handle with Care: Jimmy Akingbola (2022) is an inspiring documentary that tells the personal story of actor Jimmy Akingbola. The film highlights his journey through childhood challenges, his time in foster care, and his rise to success in the entertainment industry. Honest, heartfelt, and uplifting, this documentary sheds light on resilience, identity, and the power of perseverance.  Handle with Care Jimmy Akingbola 2022, Handle with Care documentary, Jimmy Akingbola documentary, inspiring documentaries 2022, actor life stories, foster care stories, uplifting documentaries, true story documentaries, resilience and hope films, identity and perseverance movies, emotional documentaries 2022, British actor documentaries, life journey films, heartwarming documentaries, powerful life stories, motivational documentaries, must watch documentaries 2022, Jimmy Akingbola story, overcoming challenges films, Handle with Care film, personal story documentaries, life struggle and success movies, biography documentaries 2022, human spirit documentaries, actor success stories, childhood journey documentaries, honest life documentaries, identity exploration films, moving true stories, actor biography movies, uplifting life journey films, documentaries about resilience, overcoming hardship stories, Jimmy Akingbola Handle with Care, inspirational actor documentaries, powerful 2022 films

Transcript

00:00Throughout my childhood, I dreamed of getting to Hollywood, living out my wildest fantasies

00:10and following in the footsteps of my idols.

00:13The likes of Sidney Poitier, Denzel Washington, and Eddie Murphy.

00:19I'm Jimmy Acumbola, an actor born and raised in East London.

00:24Having cut my teeth on the screen and stage in Britain, I moved to LA, where my dreams

00:31became my reality.

00:34But to understand how I ended up here, you've got to hear my story, because I still can't

00:40quite believe it.

00:42In the UK, 90 young people enter the care system every day, and at two years old, I was one

00:54of those children.

00:56I'm the youngest son of Nigerian immigrants.

00:59My dad, Akin, and my mum, Eunice, left Nigeria in 1967, in search of their own fortune.

01:08Like many of their generation, they believed that Britain would be paved with streets of

01:14gold and full of opportunity.

01:17My dreams soon became a nightmare, as the challenges of life in a foreign land became

01:23too much to bear.

01:25I know very little about the detail of what happened to me as a child, and having lost

01:31half of my family during the pandemic, it feels like now is the best time to go in search

01:37of some answers.

01:40Having buried most of my childhood trauma in the roles I play as an actor, it's now time

01:45to ask those tough questions and face my past, so I can truly embrace my future.

02:08This is little Jimmy.

02:11We can call him my inner child.

02:14In many ways, I'm on this journey to bring him some peace.

02:19Back then, unbeknown to my parents at the time of their separation, my mum was suffering

02:24from schizophrenia, and my father believed that she was having an affair and that I was

02:30not his son.

02:34She disowned me and took out an injunction on my mum, restricting her from access to

02:39the rest of my siblings because of her alleged aggressive behaviour.

02:44That meant that I was raised alone as a baby with my mum, who was having a mental breakdown.

02:51Looking after me became too much for her to bear, and she handed me over to the care system.

02:59I think when other Nigerians started going back to Nigeria, there was a sense of my mum

03:04that felt isolated, and my mum was battling with her mental illness and my dad's personality,

03:13and his pressures of being a Nigerian man in the UK and trying to provide for his family.

03:19Clash is the reason that they divorced.

03:24Trying to keep a family together when you're up against it, when you're maybe struggling

03:31for work, and when you are living your immigrant story but you are a minority in a foreign land,

03:40it's really difficult.

03:49I've recently landed the biggest role of my career, playing Geoffrey in the reimagining of

03:54the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, a story that bears an uncanny resemblance to mine as it was

04:00based on a young boy being in care.

04:03My life as an actor now, in an iconic show, is a world away from the life my parents knew.

04:10Doing this is different.

04:11This is different.

04:12This is me.

04:13There's no character.

04:14It's exposing, but I just want to be real and honest about who I am.

04:18There's a part of me that would love to be wearing a character costume and you'd be calling

04:22me my character's name, but it ain't that kind of show.

04:26This is real life.

04:30This is the blue book that I brought with me from the children's home.

04:37It's like reading a fairytale book, you know, it's like these first couple of pages basically

04:41explain my life to me.

04:45This is a report from the social services.

04:49You know, it says, uh, Mrs. Akinbolla was involved in an argument about money and allowances

04:57at the offices of the Department of Health and Social Security.

05:01She eventually left the building, apparently abandoning her son.

05:06The child was made the subject of a place of safety order dated the 25th of September,

05:141979.

05:15That's, that's really hard.

05:22Yeah, she loves me, man.

05:27After my mum had left me at the social security office, I was placed into a children's home

05:32in East London, where I was fostered by my new family, the Crows, who I am still very close

05:39to today.

05:40Mum?

05:41All right, Jim?

05:42Hey, how you doing?

05:43You all right?

05:44Yeah, you're really low, eh, Jim?

05:45Can you, can you hear me now?

05:46Yeah, a bit better.

05:47I'll just speak right, close to the phone.

05:48Happy birthday, Jim.

05:49Thank you so much.

05:50I'm going to be seeing you very soon.

05:51It's been too long.

05:52Okay.

05:53Love you, Jim.

05:54Bye.

05:55Take care, Mum.

05:56Bye.

05:58Bye.

05:59Thank you so much.

06:00I'm going to be seeing you very soon.

06:01It's been too long.

06:02Okay.

06:03Love you, Jim.

06:04Bye.

06:05Take care, Mum.

06:06Bye.

06:08Bye.

06:09Bye.

06:10Bye.

06:11Bye.

06:12Bye.

06:13Bye.

06:14Bye.

06:15Bye.

06:16Bye.

06:17Bye.

06:18This...

06:19This is Oswald.

06:22I arrived from the foster home with Oswald.

06:25There's a weird sense of feeling grounded.

06:29And so looking at where I am right now out here in LA, it's surreal.

06:33It really is surreal.

06:35I'm going to go back to the UK.

06:39That's why I'm packing bare hoodies and jumpers because it's not like LA, you know what I mean?

06:46We know what London summers are like.

06:49Before heading home, I had to check in with my LA family.

07:08What up, Jimmy?

07:09What's up, people?

07:10Hey!

07:11How you doing?

07:12How you doing?

07:13How you doing?

07:14How you doing?

07:15How you doing?

07:16How you doing?

07:17How you doing?

07:18How you doing?

07:19How you doing?

07:20How you doing?

07:21How you doing?

07:22How you doing?

07:23So we're going to talk about life.

07:24Life and blessings.

07:25Speaking to you all individually over the last few years, you're my LA family, right?

07:27What's crazy is that we all have something in common.

07:30We've all had an experience within the care system in some way.

07:33And my question to you guys is, what is family to you?

07:37Well, you've got your normal depiction of what family's supposed to be.

07:40Your mum, your dad, your brother, sisters, cousins, whatever.

07:43And I've had that.

07:45You know, it's been very fluid.

07:47You know how it is in a Nigerian family.

07:49Everybody's your auntie or uncle.

07:50Doesn't matter whether they're related to you or not.

07:52It's true.

07:53I think the concept of family's changed anyway.

07:55Certainly, when I was growing up.

07:57Now, with the increasing divorce as well, we've got kind of stepfamilies.

08:00Sure.

08:01And the dynamic has changed in terms of even same-gender families.

08:05But what was your situation?

08:06How did you end up?

08:07So, my mum had me when she was very young, like, outside of marriage.

08:11And so, I was given up then to a white family.

08:16They had black friends, so they would have someone come over and cook food for us

08:19or, like, have a friend come over and braid my hair or whatever.

08:21So, I was very aware.

08:22It's like we don't want you to miss out on certain things.

08:25But it's interesting because not knowing your identity

08:28and then you're in acting and having to play, like, an African character

08:31or a Jamaican character.

08:32I remember at some point going, like, can I even do that accent?

08:35And I would turn down those auditions.

08:36I'd make an excuse because I was like, I don't feel like I'm qualified to do this.

08:40I don't know it.

08:41I've not been around it.

08:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.

08:43I was raised by a black woman and a black man.

08:46I had a very idealistic upbringing.

08:48I was adopted really early on.

08:50So that's all I've ever known.

08:52And something that I found out officially when I was 18.

08:55Wow, you didn't find out until you were 18 that you were adopted?

08:59On my 18th birthday, my dad told me.

09:02How did that feel?

09:03To this day, I don't quite know what happened, but I fainted.

09:06I think it was just having this fat just almost smashed into your face.

09:10It was almost too much for me to comprehend.

09:12And he said, you're right, son.

09:14And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm OK.

09:16And pretty much we didn't speak too much about it after that.

09:20I do think it's important that if you're going to adopt a black child,

09:24you've got to be able to educate them.

09:26You know what I mean?

09:27You've got to bring people around so they don't miss out on culture.

09:30In fact, they should look into these people when they're adopting a black kid.

09:33And just say, how many black friends do you have?

09:35Apart from your work friends.

09:37You need to be what you're adopting into your family.

09:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.

09:41But also, it's about unconditional love, right?

09:43Yeah.

09:44What do you want people to get from this documentary?

09:47Sort of like a, it's a love letter to my parents, both sets of parents.

09:53I am here because of them, and I feel like if I don't share my story,

09:58sometimes it feels like I'm ashamed of it.

10:00I'm not ashamed of it, I'm very proud of who I am.

10:03And also just thinking about the children that are in care right now.

10:06I've still got a lot of unanswered questions,

10:09and it's about the journey, right?

10:12It's about growth.

10:13Yep.

10:14And this is my journey.

10:18Hearing everybody else's story alongside mine,

10:23you can really see that you can't go through care

10:27or have a moment alongside the care system without there being trauma.

10:32And that's okay.

10:33I'm looking forward to walking forward with that

10:36at the forefront of my mind and in my heart

10:38and seeing if that continues with everybody else that I meet.

10:43I'm on a journey to uncover the truth of my scattered beginning.

10:56My first stop, Northern Ireland, where my foster family now live.

11:01It's been a long time.

11:02Yeah.

11:03Look where you are now.

11:04Whiteheads.

11:05LA, not whiteheads.

11:06LA, not whiteheads.

11:08The Crows were a family that fostered me between the age of two

11:12right up until I was 16.

11:15Back then, my siblings were my world.

11:18We've never discussed the impact my addition to the family had on us

11:22and I don't think they really knew what was going on for me.

11:26So I've decided it's time to talk to them about it.

11:31For me, it's been a crazy couple of years

11:34and when I look at my family, I've got two beautiful halves

11:39and I feel like I've lost one half of it, including Dad.

11:43It's made me have a lot of questions about who I am,

11:47I feel like we've never really sort of talked about our upbringing,

11:51but what was it like for you to have a little black brother called Jimmy?

11:56Well, for me, I would have only been like six when you came to live with us,

12:00so I was still only small, so I just didn't see much difference when you came.

12:04Just we went to the home, Mum and Dad chose you and that was it.

12:10It just seemed like there was no big deal.

12:12Just one day you wasn't there and the next day you was.

12:14Yeah, but then you was.

12:15It's just like we instantly got a new brother.

12:16Yeah.

12:17We've never looked at you or anything other than a brother.

12:20No.

12:21Although you was fostered, you was with us and you still are with us.

12:25Yeah.

12:26Yeah.

12:27But you're still our brother.

12:28You're nothing else but our brother.

12:30Did you guys ever get any, like, negative stuff said to you?

12:34But we had the racist comment, you know, like, Mum was a wog's meat and that would pull us then straight into a bit of a conflict with that person, you know?

12:43Same thing with Adam. It was, oh, your mum's this and your mum's that.

12:47And that changed one Saturday. It was Westland versus Portsmouth and a big black guy. We all knew him. He called me over.

12:57Cass.

12:58So I thought, what have I done here? I think I'm in trouble, you know? He was one of the leaders for the Intercity firm. He was like one of the top boys.

13:05Yeah.

13:06The guys who was giving me grief at school, they were standing quite close to Cass. He called me over and he said, you've got a black brother, a little black brother?

13:14I said, yeah, Jimmy. I said, my mum fostered when he was little. He went, that's brilliant. That's brilliant, that is. And that's all he said.

13:20But the kids that were giving me grief at school, they were standing close and I just looked at them and they put their heads down like that.

13:26And from that day, I never had another word said. And it turns out that Cass Pennant was actually fostered by a white family as well.

13:33That's crazy. You guys have never, ever said anything like that to me.

13:37Sometimes people don't even have to say anything. They just look.

13:40Those looks for me, you know, I used to hate going on the trips to Hastings, Devon.

13:45And I'd lie to mum and say that I'm at my friend Dean's house, but I was out on the streets with him because I didn't want to ruin the trip for everyone because I would always be stared at.

13:54And the knife got pulled out of me on one of those trips and I didn't say anything to you guys.

13:59I feel a bit, I don't know, like almost, I wouldn't say annoyed, but like, I wish you would have said something. Do you know what I mean?

14:08Yeah.

14:09Because then we don't know. And it's the same for us. We're only just speaking now about these things.

14:14And at the time, you know, we would hate you, you know, feel like you didn't want to go to these places because maybe you would have had a bad experience.

14:26It gets to you, doesn't it?

14:28Yeah, I think there was just a part of me, I just didn't want to spoil it for you, but I always knew that I could come to you guys and I did when I needed to.

14:38We would have protected you, you know, like, we would have given a lot up, you know, for you to be hurt in front of us.

14:45Did you then have things said to you about living with a white family then?

14:49From black people?

14:50Yeah. Yeah, and white.

14:51And white people.

14:52Yeah, yeah, I did. Name calling, like, you're not black enough, coconut at times.

14:58Between your sort of six, sevens upwards, you know what I mean?

15:02Really? It's like you can't win, can you?

15:03Yeah.

15:04You can't win.

15:05And in some ways without knowing it, as a family, we're way beyond what a normal family in the sort of eighties would be like, you know?

15:12Yeah. And taking me to the barber shop. Do you remember that?

15:14Yeah, I remember that. Mum used to cut your hair with scissors and then we got clippers and I used to do your hair.

15:20I see this African hairdresser and I'm like, I'm going to take him now.

15:23And the hairdresser, she told me off really bad because it shampooed his hair.

15:28Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was all really dry.

15:30When Jimmy came to us, he didn't have a manual because, like, he needed, like, we didn't know that cream in your and your hair stuff and that.

15:39Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're so right.

15:41I do say, look, I'd rather a kid be with a family that loves them, that is educated, do you know what I mean?

15:46Yeah.

15:47And has a diverse sub and lives in a diverse area and we had that.

15:50You had it with your friendship group.

15:52But as a young black kid, you need to see somebody who looks like yourself, you know?

15:56Yeah. And I think if you were a family that had no black friends, then I think my experience would have been really different.

16:06Family doesn't have to be just blood and thinking about the people we've lost and it's...

16:11It's made me wanna be closer to you guys.

16:26It's made me wanna think about, you know, how far we've all come.

16:30Do you think the version of how we grew up would work now, like, post-Covid, Black Lives Matter, do you know what I mean, where we are in the world?

16:45I would like to think it would...

16:47People could be like we are, were, you know?

16:52I'm not sure.

16:53I think it depends on the people and the person who's being fostered and the people who's fostering the person.

17:00And if they're able to look past colour or race or religion or whatever.

17:14Opening up to my foster siblings brought new light to our childhood.

17:17And hearing the kind of abuse they received made me realise that we were all trying to protect one another.

17:24I couldn't imagine what was going on for my mum, whose decision it was to actually bring me into the family.

17:30I've always avoided the conversation, as I felt it would make her uncomfortable.

17:35But she's agreed to have a chat.

17:38It's been three years since I've seen my mum.

17:40For me, that's too long.

17:42So I just can't wait to see her, hug her and talk about things we've never spoken about before, you know?

17:49About her raising me.

17:51But seeing my mum would not be the same without fish and chips.

17:57She loves fish and chips.

18:02How are you?

18:07How are you doing? You alright?

18:08I brought the fish and chips.

18:10Here you go.

18:13Mm-mm-mm.

18:16I feel like we've never really talked about what it was like for you.

18:18Like, when you already had three children of your own.

18:20And what was it like just bringing home this young black boy to the family and to the neighbourhood?

18:25I only had one lady say something to me.

18:28She looked at me and she said,

18:31You're a fella black then?

18:33And I went, No, neither of my other children.

18:36She went, That's unusual, isn't it?

18:39LAUGHTER

18:42What about the social services? Were they supportive?

18:44No.

18:46Mm-mm.

18:47The first one was brilliant.

18:49She used to take us to all the African exhibitions.

18:52After that, you'd never see them all year.

18:55And then they'd just turn up at a time and then want to know all what you'd done all year.

19:00Yeah.

19:01And that was...

19:02Yeah.

19:03The one at the other end of the phone said,

19:05He should never have been put with you whites anyway.

19:08Wow.

19:09I always remember the moments where if someone would say something to me, you know, I'd be like,

19:17Well, how do I talk to, you know, you guys about that?

19:21There was one time you was playing and you come in crying to me.

19:26And I said, What's wrong, Jim?

19:28So I thought you'd fell over or something.

19:30You said, Those kids out there keep calling me a black currant.

19:34Mm.

19:35And I said, You can't tell them.

19:37Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

19:41And you just went to me.

19:42Oh, and it makes me want to cry now.

19:46You said to me, It does hurt.

19:49It makes you hurt right here.

19:50It hurts right here.

19:53And it still makes me cry, sorry.

19:56It does.

19:58That was horrible.

20:01I mean, I remember even before I even thought about being an actor,

20:04talking to me about people like Sidney Poitier.

20:06What was the film that you told me to watch?

20:08To Sow With Love.

20:09Yeah.

20:10I remember watching that and just like going, Wow, it was like this amazing man,

20:15you know, that is an actor, this black man, but also the way he's being received by this white community.

20:21I was looking at him going, I'm in the same sort of position, but I'm a young boy.

20:25I go to school.

20:26I was the only black kid in my school.

20:28I've got this loving white family.

20:29But those sort of things really, really helped me, Mum.

20:33Really helped me to have a sense of self.

20:38Well, I would have liked to have a baby myself.

20:40And then I was thinking, but there's plenty out there that need a family.

20:45And my husband went all along with it.

20:48Then we said a bit about fostering and we sort of looked into it and that was it.

20:53We ended up with Jimmy.

20:55When we went into the children's home, he was sitting at the table.

21:01He was the only baby in there.

21:03And you could just see his head above the table and he was eating banana and custard on a great big spoon.

21:10We just fell in love with him, really.

21:12He was so cute.

21:13And there was a little black girl really showing that.

21:18She was only little.

21:19And she said, what about if I take my skin off?

21:22That's not nice, is it?

21:23Because it doesn't matter.

21:24When kids are kids, don't they?

21:25It doesn't matter what colour they are.

21:27It was just Jimmy.

21:28I think his mum would have been proud when she was in her real moments.

21:45I don't think I did anything special.

21:50I just looked after a little boy, didn't I?

21:53And I was a big boy, but he's still me little boy.

22:03We were close anyway, but I feel like we've even got closer by talking about things we've never, ever talked about before.

22:11There's hope that there's many versions of my experience out there happening now and there are families ready to recreate that and do their own versions of it.

22:30Like most young black people, if anyone of colour is on TV, you'd rush that TV and start watching stuff.

22:35And I realised that I would create an encyclopedia of icons, of role models that was all on screen.

22:47That was another part of me navigating my two families, my identity.

22:53I remember watching, I think it was ITV News, and I saw John Fashenew and Justin Fashenew.

23:00And they're talking about being fostered.

23:04And I was just like, wow.

23:07I found out about people like Lenny James, Fatima Whitbread, Chris Akabusi, Lorraine Pascal.

23:16But where's the story about them?

23:18And it's not just about being a household name and famous.

23:21Because no matter what you've been through, if your journey through the care system wasn't great,

23:28it's still seeing people like that.

23:30It made me feel a bit of pride about being fostered.

23:37Today, I'm off to meet Lenny James.

23:40He's a legend.

23:41Not only a fantastic writer, but a fantastic actor.

23:44And for me, growing up as a young kid, I remember watching Storm Damage that he had written,

23:52and then reading it that he had also been through the care system.

23:55And I just thought, wow, look what he's achieved.

24:00Maybe it could be the same for me.

24:04Unlike me, Lenny was fostered as a teenager by a black family.

24:09And I wanted to know how that shaped his identity.

24:12My story was, in a weird way, kind of conventional and unconventional, really.

24:19Home was me, my mum and my brother.

24:22Most of my childhood, I remember my mum not being very well.

24:25And there were bouts during that time when we were growing up.

24:28We would go into care.

24:31And when I was 11, my mum died.

24:36Obviously, it's a terrible thing losing your mum.

24:38How did you manage that feeling of, like, not having your mum there and actually still having to go through care?

24:45Me and my brother were lucky with the people who looked after us.

24:49We were really lucky with the children's home that we ended up in.

24:53Just before I was 15, there was a big drive to foster a teenager.

24:58And London councils and London boroughs at that time were working really hard to put kids, as they phrased it, with families that were racially appropriate.

25:09What was it like for you having a black foster family?

25:13There was a whole group of things that suddenly you didn't feel like you had to explain to anybody.

25:18Although we were a real mixed bag in the kid zone, you could tell we were a kid zone.

25:22We were a mixture of black, white and brown kids in every single environment that we went into outside of the house.

25:28For my foster family, outside of the house, it was just family.

25:34And that did make a huge difference. There was a kind of resting about it.

25:41Going out, sitting down at a table, we were just a black family.

25:45There wasn't a sense of anybody looking at us and going,

25:48well, they're a black family, but you are quite obviously something else.

25:52Yes. And we have had a positive journey through care, but the statistics still say that there's a disproportionate amount of kids,

26:02you know, that have gone through care that haven't had that experience.

26:05Even though I went through it, you know, God knows how many decades ago,

26:10there is still similarity, there is still a need to say that if you're going to care for kids in a proper way,

26:17if you're going to make up for things that have happened to them that were not their fault,

26:23not their responsibility, but will impact on them for the rest of their lives.

26:27If you want to make a difference to them, you have to pay for it.

26:31You have to invest in taking care for them, because if you do that,

26:35then all of the bad statistics that people trot out all the time when talking about kids in care,

26:41you start affecting those stats, you start bringing those numbers down,

26:46you start having successful outcomes as opposed to the expected unsuccessful ones.

26:52Yeah.

26:54Another one of my heroes was the Olympic gold and silver medalist, Chris Akabusi.

27:00My foster mother, Gloria, would make me watch his races at the Olympics.

27:03And when I found out that he had also been raised in a children's home, I placed him in even higher regard.

27:10I'm keen to understand how his experience differed to mine.

27:16Wow.

27:18This is crazy.

27:20There he is.

27:21What's going on?

27:23Jimmy!

27:25You're different, lads.

27:27How are you, man?

27:28Thank you, man.

27:30I'm so good. Look at you, man.

27:31You ain't changed!

27:33Look at you, man!

27:34What's the secret?

27:35You're looking sweet yourself.

27:36No, but what is this?

27:37Hey!

27:38You're working to my yard.

27:40Look at the mansion!

27:42Is this how you're living?

27:43It's home.

27:44Homes and Hutties.

27:45What can I say, Jimmy?

27:46What can I say?

27:47This is crazy!

27:49I would like to show you this.

27:51You can see the merchant's galleon here.

27:54The merchant owned his house.

27:55When you think about the plantations where he got his stuff on, the irony is,

27:59I live here now.

28:01It's crazy.

28:02It's kind of full circle, right?

28:03There you go.

28:04But now it's yours.

28:08Welcome in.

28:09Thank you, man.

28:14Wow.

28:15Seriously, Chris, this house is amazing.

28:18But you've forgotten your roots, haven't you?

28:19What?

28:20Look, LA there.

28:22Come.

28:24You've got a choice.

28:26A little bit more sober?

28:28Or...

28:29You know what, Uncle?

28:30It's going to have to be the red one, because it's my favourite colour.

28:32Better.

28:33Look at this.

28:34The lions as well.

28:37Jimmy, you ready?

28:39Ah, better!

28:46Now we can go.

28:47All right, all right.

28:48Thank you, Uncle.

28:49You know, forgive me.

28:50I should have come prepared.

28:53I remember growing up hearing that you had been in the care system, but can you tell me how did you end up in the children's home?

29:00Yeah.

29:01When I was first put into care, I was two and bits, and my brother was ten months old.

29:06I wasn't with a family.

29:08I was with a series of families.

29:10Normal British people think into us.

29:14It's awful when you say jungle bunnies, you know, just out of the trees.

29:19Do you have elephants in your country?

29:22So you've got these two different mindsets coming together.

29:25And we had a series of, I would say, abusive foster experiences.

29:31My fostering experience was not a positive one.

29:33Seriously.

29:34And my brother has been eternally marked since then.

29:40You know, the whole panoply beatings, obviously, that's a given.

29:46But, you know, drinking your urine, all sorts of just rubbish that was...

29:51Seriously.

29:52We were treated like animals there.

29:55After that, you're saying the children home...

29:57Saviour.

29:58Was a saviour.

29:59It was a saviour.

30:00It wasn't the best place in the world, but it was a saviour.

30:03And Enfield, Middlesex, leafy, rural, order, structure.

30:11This is the way we tie our beds.

30:15Just a sense of safety, security and order, which was marked contrast from the care to experience up to then.

30:23Yeah.

30:24I'm realising that I did wrestle with abandonment.

30:27Yes.

30:28Oh, gosh.

30:29I was just wondering, how was that in terms of your biological parents?

30:32Yeah.

30:33So, look, I quiet every day from being four to fourteen.

30:39And I felt the abandonment.

30:41I felt the alienation.

30:42I felt the isolation.

30:43You know, as nice as the home was, it wasn't my mummy.

30:50Yeah.

30:51I was very lucky that even though I grew up in East, it wasn't crazy diverse, but it improved over the years.

30:56But also being close to my culture helped me in terms of identity.

31:01You see, that's what I think I lost.

31:03Because there was not a representation of Africa, Nigeria, or Igbo.

31:11The closest you were, the alienation in Igbo dress.

31:14When I left the children's home, I had no real idea of what it meant to be a black man.

31:19The concept that you are other than, that doesn't exist.

31:22Until somebody points it out.

31:24Points it out.

31:25And then it's a slap in the face.

31:26Exactly.

31:27I remember those moments.

31:28I changed my surname, Akimbola, to my foster family name, which is Crow.

31:34Which is quite bizarre, really.

31:35Jim Crow.

31:36I'm like, oh, my God.

31:37There's a small amount of people.

31:38Couldn't make it up.

31:39I know.

31:40There's a small amount of people out there that knew me as Jimmy Crow.

31:43But I think that was also part of when I was struggling, maybe, about my identity.

31:48But also, because I wanted to be part of the family.

31:52Like you, I changed my name.

31:54And I joined the army.

31:56From Keezy, which I'm very proud of now, to Chris.

32:00The majority of people who know Chris Akabuzi, they won't know Keezy.

32:03What has been your perception about people that have been through care, from what you've seen?

32:09My perception hitherto of people in care is all the negative stereotypes you've had.

32:18Overrepresented in the drug industry.

32:20Overrepresented in the sex industry.

32:22Overrepresented in incarcerations.

32:25Overrepresented in sleeping on the bridges.

32:28Overrepresented in deaths.

32:30If you've got any of those metrics, the childcare population is the highest proportion of contributors in the arena.

32:38I only need to reflect on my home.

32:40What I'm told is my happy home.

32:42GBH, locked up.

32:45Gang warfare, locked up.

32:48Two of the girls are dead.

32:51Who I shared my home with.

32:53Dead in the sex industry.

32:55So, you know, it doesn't look good.

32:58So if I look back at my own individual journey, it doesn't look good.

33:02Yeah.

33:03But then I meet you, and here, you're in LA and you're rocking it.

33:08That's good.

33:10So I can see that it's possible.

33:12Yeah.

33:13And you're showing that it's possible.

33:14Despite all the success, the accolades, everything you've achieved in your life.

33:19How do you feel about that decision that your parents made about putting you in private foster care?

33:26Without a doubt, I don't want to change a thing.

33:28But there is a bit of me who wishes or would have liked not to have had to have said, I want my mummy.

33:37But next I was a futility, because it's happened, and I wouldn't change a thing.

33:45If that little portal of having to say, I want my mummy, has led to this, I take this.

33:52In Britain today, there are almost half a million children still in the care system.

34:07And I used to be one of them.

34:09Knowing that I had biological brothers and sisters somewhere out there

34:13had always kept me yearning for a connection to my natural home.

34:17I'm going to meet my brother, Shola, and my sister, Maruke.

34:22We've never discussed our family's breakup or truly understood the effects it had on each of us.

34:28And having recently lost one of my brothers, it now felt like the right time.

34:37I know it's been a long while since we've been together as a family, and a lot's gone on.

34:43I realised that having you guys in my life, it helped me know myself.

34:48Even at times I felt lonely by your interactions throughout the years

34:52and that increased that I wasn't forgotten by you.

34:55How was it for you guys, being siblings, growing up with just dad,

35:01but knowing that you've got a little brother that's been fostered somewhere?

35:06I have memories of mum not being pregnant and living with us in East Ham.

35:12I vaguely remember a conversation with dad telling me that mum was going to Nigeria.

35:17And then I remember her going.

35:19What about you, Shola? What's your version of that time?

35:22Really difficult.

35:24Dad was sharing a lot of his difficulties around what was happening between him and mum with me.

35:31So I was carrying it at what, 13, 14?

35:36Just on the brink of getting ready to do GCSEs.

35:40And it was cataclysmic for me.

35:44Thinking back now, I got a sense of there's been a big change in this family.

35:49Huge change.

35:50And then the issue of, well, where's Jimmy?

35:54Was, was, was just, it was too much for me.

35:57Well, where's, where's the little baby that arrived?

36:01You know, when mum came back from the hospital?

36:04I remember holding you.

36:06Seriously?

36:07Yeah.

36:08Then mum left and you, we didn't see you again, that was it.

36:13Wow.

36:14We didn't see you.

36:15That's a lot for you as, you know, sort of,

36:1911, 10, 13 year olds to, to see and be around.

36:26When I think about my early years, my confusion of where are you guys?

36:31You know, I felt like I was, why have I been left?

36:34And social services used to tell me that your dad doesn't want you.

36:39What was said to you by the social services or by dad about me?

36:44I don't remember him actually talking about you or her.

36:47Once the divorce happened, it was it.

36:50Yeah.

36:51Everything just closed down.

36:53And that's funny because I definitely feel that I embodied that.

36:56I've, I've embodied that emotional shutdown.

36:58Just shut it down and move on.

36:59Mm.

37:00Because I'm taking my lead from dad.

37:03Even though I don't want to shut down.

37:04Because really, where's my brother?

37:06Mm.

37:07But I can't ask the question.

37:09Mm.

37:10So, you just, you just couldn't bring it up.

37:12Mm.

37:13And in the end, literally, I just left it.

37:15I just left it alone.

37:16Mm.

37:17I remember speaking to Shegan when we first ever met.

37:20And we was having our one only ever argument we had.

37:22Who had it, who had it better?

37:24Oh, my.

37:25We'd be arguing.

37:26You had it better.

37:27You grew up with a family.

37:28You'd be like, no, you had it better.

37:29You grew up, you know, with this amazing foster family.

37:32And we were going at it all night.

37:33Well, that's an interesting, interesting argument though, isn't it?

37:36If you look at this one now, okay, compare him to the three of us.

37:39I know Shegan's not here.

37:40Mm.

37:41I think you had it better because you grew up in a loving family.

37:43I've always said that.

37:44I understand what that love is.

37:45We grew up, you know, sort of, with a single father who didn't, who tried.

37:50Don't get me wrong.

37:51He tried.

37:52But I wouldn't say that dad was, you know, loving, you know, in the way that I understand,

37:56you know, loving to be.

37:58Gloria and the family created a safe space for you.

38:01Mm.

38:02Whereas our space was dangerous.

38:05Yeah.

38:06The most dangerous place for me growing up was not on the streets of East London,

38:09with the National Front and, you know, silly little racist white boys.

38:12That was nothing.

38:13I didn't even, I ignored it.

38:14Mm.

38:15The most dangerous place for me was in my home.

38:16Yeah.

38:17That's why I'd never come home.

38:18Yeah.

38:19What I love about it is it brings up that thing, philosophically.

38:22The idea of blood is thick, you know what I mean?

38:24Mm.

38:25Blood.

38:26Family blood.

38:27Ah!

38:28You can find the proper love anywhere, bro.

38:29You know what I mean?

38:30Yeah.

38:31We might hate each other.

38:32It's true.

38:33Can you imagine?

38:34Mm.

38:35And look at what you're receiving from them in terms of nourishment.

38:37Yeah.

38:38That's powerful.

38:39Mm.

38:40Yeah.

38:41But could you imagine, though, when you met us individually for the first time,

38:43what if you'd hated us?

38:44Yeah.

38:45It's so funny.

38:46I never, ever crossed my mind.

38:49I just really wanted to be with you, but you're right.

38:52But it's interesting, though, that pool, isn't it?

38:54That biological pool.

38:55Honestly.

38:56There's something.

38:57And sometimes I would feel...

38:58It's like an electromagnetic...

38:59Yeah.

39:00You know it's dangerous, but I've got to...

39:02But you're drawn to it.

39:03I've got to go back to it.

39:04It never left me.

39:05And sometimes I would feel bad about it, you know, because my foster family are doing everything.

39:08I was like, well, where's my family?

39:09Where are my peeps?

39:10Mm.

39:11You know?

39:12That's the powerful thing for me that we're touching on.

39:15Mm.

39:16Gloria's quality of care.

39:18Mm.

39:19It's got nothing to do with what Jimmy looks like or where Jimmy comes from.

39:23Mm.

39:24It's that that we're talking about.

39:27Yeah.

39:28You see?

39:29From the time I met you, which would have been, what, two, three?

39:30You would have been two or three.

39:31Yeah.

39:32Took you six years.

39:33What happened?

39:34I think I was...

39:35I was all over the place.

39:36Okay.

39:37I was in my own mad state.

39:39Right, right, right.

39:40I do remember when we came to see you, I knew it was going to be too much for me.

39:44And it was.

39:45I remember sitting in the house.

39:46I remember Jimmy bringing his notebook.

39:48And I remember reading your notebook.

39:49Oh, the blue folder.

39:50The blue book.

39:51I burst into tears, man.

39:53I couldn't...

39:54Mm.

39:55It was too much.

39:56Okay.

39:57It was too much, man.

39:58It was too much.

39:59Mm.

40:00Because in that moment, I felt it.

40:01The implosion.

40:02The family implosion.

40:03Right.

40:04I felt it.

40:05You know?

40:06Okay.

40:07And for me, it was the biggest thing, you know?

40:08I think I was about 17 or when I finally met dad.

40:15I don't know how it was set up.

40:17Mm.

40:18And we never, like, had the chat.

40:20Mm.

40:21And yet, 100%, I felt like, oh, accepted.

40:25So you behaved that way.

40:26And I was, like, calling him dad.

40:28He sent Christmases with me.

40:29My graduation.

40:30I sent me birthday cards.

40:32And I remember that time just feeling that final bit feeling so full.

40:37Mm-hmm.

40:38So I've got my foster family and my biological family.

40:41I remember taking him to meet my foster family.

40:43You know?

40:44And he thanked them.

40:45Mm-hmm.

40:46And I was like, bam, there it is.

40:48Mm-hmm.

40:49I truly believed that for 10, 12 years he did love me.

40:52But then when I went back to Nigeria, to his house, I feel like that triggered everything.

40:58Right.

40:59I remember the moment I came back, before I could even share all the happiness with him,

41:03he was just like, uh, I've got something to tell you.

41:06I was like, okay.

41:07Mm-hmm.

41:08I'm not your father.

41:09I've been a father figure to you.

41:11And I was just like, what?

41:13Bam.

41:14Wow.

41:15Wow.

41:16Gosh.

41:17And so in that moment, I was like, okay, dad, let's do the test.

41:20Mm-hmm.

41:21The next day, I called him before I booked it to say, you're still good with this?

41:25He's like, I'm going to speak to my doctor and I'll get back to you.

41:28And then, you know, we never ever spoke again.

41:31Oh, Jesus.

41:32Okay.

41:35I never realized how hard it was for my brothers and sisters in our biological home.

41:40But speaking to them made me feel like, maybe I did have it better.

41:46Though I was navigating my identity as the only black child in a white family,

41:51they were making ends meet in a single-parent household and dealing with a raft of challenges.

41:58I always wanted to be close to my father and I fought hard for him to accept me as his own.

42:04He never did.

42:06And in his absence, I yearned for black role models who could fill that void.

42:11In Paul Leslie, a youth worker in the area of East London I grew up in, I found that person.

42:21And without him, I'm not sure I would have taken the first steps to becoming the man I am today,

42:26or even turning my dreams of Hollywood into a reality.

42:33Before my journey was over, I decided to pay him a visit.

42:37Mr. T's, you know, my barbers.

42:40Yeah.

42:41Paul, like, this place has changed, right?

42:42Very much so.

42:44Oh, okay.

42:45Community links right here.

42:46Community links.

42:47This is why I used to come all the time to see you, to see all my friends.

42:52I remember we played Paul.

42:54I also remember the conversations about politics, history, what it meant to be black and British.

43:00And I remember you always sort of helping us deal with uncomfortable situations.

43:05It weren't just about lash out.

43:07Definitely not.

43:08Articulate your point.

43:09Yes.

43:10Make it really clear.

43:11Yeah, yeah.

43:12And don't overreact in terms of physical responses.

43:15Yeah.

43:16They've already renamed it.

43:21Oh, wow.

43:22Oh!

43:23Wow, wow, wow, wow.

43:27Yes, I almost missed it.

43:29They made it work, brother.

43:30Wow.

43:31Oh.

43:32This is blowing me away.

43:34To have my name up here, on this building, this is where I spent so much of my youth,

43:45you know, and it's where I also dreamt and I discussed my dreams.

43:51Mm, mm.

43:52And to have my name here in Cannon Town, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, I'm speechless.

44:01Why wouldn't you deserve this?

44:03Look at what you've achieved.

44:04Come on.

44:05Embrace this.

44:06This is exactly the right thing for you.

44:09Wow.

44:10Oh, wow.

44:12Thank you so much.

44:13Honestly, I, I'm completely, completely, utterly speechless.

44:17I mean.

44:18So that whole thing about, well, who are the next series of role models?

44:22Well, I'm looking at one.

44:23You're talking to me about me being a role model to you.

44:26Look at you and what you've achieved and who you talk to, how you talk to them, the care

44:30that you talk to them with, that interest in who they are as people, it comes around.

44:36Wow.

44:37Poor man again.

44:38Yeah.

44:39Yeah.

44:40Man.

44:41Love you.

44:42Whoo.

44:45You're doing it brilliantly.

44:51I'm very proud of little Jimmy.

44:56I look at how far I've come and I pinch myself sometimes because I'm very aware that there

45:05are many moments in my life where it could have gone a different way.

45:10And I'm also very proud of everybody we've met on this journey.

45:18I've seen a similar trait in everybody that we've met, which I think is that it is about

45:26that perseverance, that having to do something to protect that child, but also allow that child

45:33to move forward in life and to achieve whatever they want to achieve.

45:39I think there's a moment where you can't wait for anything.

45:42You have to do what you need to do for you.

46:16I'll show you again

46:18I know it again

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