00:04Using drugs and drinking as much alcohol as I could just became a way for me to not feel.
00:09And I paid the price for it severely on many levels.
00:13Where am I going to get the money to pay for my addiction?
00:15Who did I beat up last night? Where did all this blood come from?
00:18Why is my window shattered? Why are the cops knocking on my door?
00:22My mom took her own life.
00:24You don't get over that.
00:26You do the best that you can on that given day to deal with your stuff.
00:34My name is Todd Crandall.
00:35I am dedicated to helping others with their drug and alcohol dependency and recovery.
00:40And use endurance races like the Ultraman to spread my message that with sobriety, anything is possible.
00:52When things get hard, I think about Todd.
00:54So, he's just, he's really amazing, you know.
00:57Think of that, bro.
00:58The f*** you saw me doing before to this?
01:01Come on.
01:03Unbelievable.
01:06I think he's hit on something which will create natural highs for some people.
01:12It's not for everyone.
01:15He's still got another seven hours of biking.
01:17He's trying to find some flow, but he's trying to find flow at too high a pace.
01:23I'm striving for improvement, physically, emotionally, spiritually, every day.
01:32I keep pushing, I keep pushing, watch my family walk out the door.
01:37And I just didn't think that I have to pay the price like this for trying to do some good.
01:41How do you have people that on one day can tell you, you saved my son's life, and then go home and not wonder if your wife and kids are going to be there?
01:52I don't want to be abandoned.
01:54I don't want to feel broken again.
01:57Suicidal thoughts.
01:59I'm tired of being a failure, man.
02:01I've been a failure my whole life.
02:02Everything I've experienced has made me who I am today.
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