[FULL] After breaking up with my boyfriend, I had a one-night stand with his professor dad

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Transcript

00:00Oh, hey Chloe, have you seen Jack?

00:05I saw him go into Lab 5 with some girl. Lab partner?

00:09Jack doesn't have a lab partner.

00:25Jack?

00:27What the hell is going on? What are you doing?

00:30I asked you a question!

00:32What does it look like we're doing? We're hooking up!

00:35It's the first day of grad school and I transferred here for you and you're cheating on me?

00:40I never asked you to do any of that.

00:42Besides, how long are you really going to last at Princeton anyway?

00:45I'm just getting my options ready.

00:48You're a prick!

00:54Have fun taking out my trash.

00:57God, I can't believe I transferred here for that asshole and he cheated on me on the first day!

01:11Shit!

01:15I'm sorry.

01:16I thought that this was my...

01:23Car.

01:31So who do you need me to kill?

01:33I didn't...

01:34I didn't...

01:35I didn't realize.

01:36You're losing blood.

01:37Sit.

01:38It's fine.

01:39It's fine.

01:40It's fine.

01:41It's fine.

01:42It's fine.

01:43It's fine.

01:44Suck on it.

01:45What?

01:46It's fine.

01:47It's fine.

01:49It's...

01:51It's...

01:52It's...

01:53It's fine.

01:54It's fine.

01:55It's fine.

01:56It's fine.

01:58I'm sorry.

01:59Suck on it.

02:06What?

02:14Um, it's really not a big deal.

02:18It is a big deal.

02:20You hurt yourself.

02:25Neuroscience PhD.

02:26You should know better than to punch a window.

02:32How do you know my major?

02:35We only accept 12 PhD students every year into our program.

02:41Which means that you're a brilliant young woman.

02:50My boyfriend doesn't think so.

02:53What happened?

02:54I caught him cheating on me.

02:57He's the only reason I moved here, so...

03:00Now I'm all alone.

03:03You're not alone.

03:05You're here because of you.

03:08Not him.

03:09Plus, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met.

03:12So if you ask me,

03:16your ex is an idiot.

03:20You can either go to your dorm

03:34and cry over your ex.

03:38Or you can come home with me.

03:39What's wrong?

04:00Want me to slow down?

04:01No.

04:02No.

04:03No.

04:04No.

04:05No.

04:06No.

04:07No.

04:08No.

04:09No.

04:12Nice of you to join us, Ms. Miller.

04:17The Princeton Neuroscience PhD is the hardest,

04:21the most selective program in the entire field of brain science.

04:25And just because you all have been accepted...

04:27Let me know if you need help packing, Emily.

04:32Fuck off, Jack.

04:33Aww.

04:34Still mad over one little mistake?

04:35Cheating is not a little mistake.

04:36Cheating is not a little mistake.

04:40Listen, the PhD program is all about connections.

04:44Unlike me, you don't know anyone.

04:47I'd really hate it if none of your projects ever got funded.

04:50What are you trying to say?

04:52I'm trying to help you.

04:53I'm trying to help you.

04:54Just think about it.

04:55Just think about it.

04:56Let me hit whenever I want.

04:58I'll make sure you always get funded.

05:00It's a win-win.

05:01No, Jack.

05:02No.

05:03And with that, I would like to hand you over to your new chief advisor, Dr. Hayes.

05:09Dr. Hayes.

05:13Holy shit, it's the Grim Reaper.

05:15He's the youngest academic ever nominated for a Nobel Prize.

05:19He's made Princeton PhDs break down and quit their entire careers.

05:39Hey, Dad.

05:42Hey, Dad.

05:46Hey, Dad.

05:48Hey, Dad.

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